MCMH | Chapter 1.3

I wore a cardigan and scarf Sandy stole from her brother’s closet and sat on the street, strumming the guitar.19030d177dd24617

The borrowed acoustic guitar, a72b80de44 Billy, was old but 9eb58d4ee8 still produced a great 26196034a8 sound, perfect for busking.c5d1ef275d124a8b

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I played my most confident original song in front of Sandy’s phone.b034b588666dbb78

Yesterday’s me asks today’s surviving me
Hey, is it raining 19f893665d there?
Today’s world begs tomorrow’s dead me
Let’s never meet again, us.
Under the crumbling castle, 9f071b132d I stand with myselfe893c5c1eeb5576c

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At first, I felt the gazes and was nervous, but once I started singing, I wasn’t scared at all.9b37e7f5218abd2f

Sandy chose a af3658daae spot where you 2c78ce2afd could see the 6f178f0fa9 Brooklyn Bridge in c45ad11848 the distance. There were many 0de08cfb8f tourists passing by. Some of 4a97e6c956 them filmed 464e406985 me.c32552e5068e1f45

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Hearing words like “cute” here and there made me feel good. Where I live, even if I busk, only junkies with glazed eyes glance at me, but not here.11cf42521bde3792

I even received 98bad65341 applause when the 842d364e2f song ended. Sandy cheered for 54680d9f6f me as I 263acfbe19 stood there, bewildered.d16d402c6b04665c

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For a moment, it 59009bc876 felt like the dazzling c37bbbdf12 early summer sun was 7e43638a59 shining on me.c5d6afdeaa74555d

Sandy showed me uploading a7839cd8d9 my video to her ef9e07f05c SNS account.92c4843319539b1d

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“Probably others who watched also uploaded it. You were really great today.”c8d1608fb4f5ad08

My face flushed aaf6019409 at the compliment.a9189452b77d1d0a

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Sandy then 72dc2374f9 showed me 894ef864af accounts of 0859b1c518 famous people 17f986d3e1 on SNS, 03b55e58b5 explaining various 1eddec31b3 things.a2fe2a30c19b0235

She said if I 30e26e82d3 became an influencer, I c2260e0fc2 could get sponsorships, and 49a8c6abdb if my singing was 2229d01fa8 good, a record company 2469b2152d might contact me.878178640d5a1b7e

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“But it’s a shame I don’t have many followers. If it was uploaded to a more popular account, more people would see it.”524274f96d4215f9

“…Isn’t 300 a lot?”f1a668f67ddf8ded

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“Of course not. But Cherry, with a face like yours, everyone will eventually notice. Those who filmed you earlier probably have followers too.”91bfcc74544b0700

I smiled bitterly at Sandy’s kind words. I’m not handsome; I just have a face that seems easy for guys to take advantage of.5ccfd48049fe647d

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“Thanks, Sandy.”a414af5c7d282b78

“Don’t mention it. Don’t pretend you don’t know me when you get famous. Again, you were really cool today.”26394ca17566771a

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“Really?”99a1c0ba024a3050

“Really.”c5a154616922e306

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We bumped fists and 9e20d020f8 laughed foolishly.91eba1cc84853788

That night, 2d3ca4c4f2 I swam b611837993 in the bef1b2583a illusion that b051deadfd I had 45f5a49df3 become a ef3c80383a star. The illusion, 5a7fc04e3a disguised as 108e1dede0 happiness, pushed 3b30f32d2c me into 56cf52855a the night. I gladly 2610ccd462 played along c1aa980513 with the a6de550a0a deception.2a7faaf330ede014

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⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ dd3034b12a ☾⭒.˚9b9d89ec750cca66

The Box’s storage room is rarely entered by anyone except the owner and me. Sometimes there are rats, and it smells bad.77c3d489e30bd028

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And this place is my home. Naturally, I don’t like anyone coming in.0209ffbaec7b1fc1

Yet, the band members 2fb4dfaf99 come and go as a80d28f200 they please.97f92e0bc15655b2

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“Where the hell have you been wandering, you bastard?”b913c7782958a705

The drummer thinks he’s the leader. Even though I’ve been at The Box longer than him.4ea5b038c18f87a9

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Ignoring him, I tried 0ab8446996 to change clothes, but dc303f2332 the bassist grabbed my ec69fc4fb2 hair.821cd10595f8c6f9

“Let go!”1667fcfc5c4cf6d8

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“I heard the mafia’s after you? Are you crazy?”684eef79cb932696

“What if we get in trouble because of you?”04cb9cc235774606

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The bassist and drummer b1bca42f58 took turns speaking and 1a8637a6fa hitting me. If only they 434edda4f2 were this in a2c44d3990 sync on stage.66eb1173d61a2229

“Let go, damn it!”505c18ae880d56e9

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I used all my 3e471e3357 strength to shake them b650a9cc9c off. When they 6060351c21 tried to 761fd6c9b8 come at 5ce54cd7b7 me again, 0ea9fc3b9f I bit c6b4c99e5e a finger.22988ca3ce90354b

“Ahhh! Damn, crazy bastard!”64eae738f0a41f6b

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“Just realizing I’m crazy now?”27c065dd05fabab6

I wiped the blood 2537b87dc7 from my mouth and efe5a87006 laughed. The drummer, a60f797400 whose finger 7fc8612267 I bit, 35dcfb329f left the ce3f271a37 storage room 92f687225e looking disgusted. Finally, I d39c296e11 was alone.621d90b3191fc615

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Changing clothes, 0175ebd2e4 I winced f4d57032d1 at the ae6155b008 pain in b8f9126ea9 my scalp.c9dc83ddefb662fb

“It hurts….”f81410962538b5ba

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Looking down, I saw 9a2e62331e a handful of my c86a91dfae hair on the floor.e7cca65bb2fc2904

Those bastards don’t know how important hair is to musicians. Angels broke up because the vocalist went bald.8c7936a7f399fd09

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I checked my head with a hand mirror but didn’t see any bald spots. However, the taste of dirty blood lingered in my mouth.b250bb5634ecd5af

Swallowing the taste of blood made it real. I wasn’t in SNS or the plaza with the Brooklyn Bridge view.e4e1618d356aeb9b

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This storage 8ca64d440f room, with c41e27523b rats and 36c7cba6da dust, was ca69e2084a my home.e8985d1712af2baf

I wasn’t sleepy, but I forced myself to close my eyes and curl up in the corner. I pulled a blanket over myself. Even though it was early summer and not cold, my body trembled.de4b130ed8b30362

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I knew what d5f85cf82a this was. Withdrawal symptoms.36dfa291c176c838

Damn gangsters.bbac88109dd6fbb1

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Damn mafia.966a80275909fc42

Damn money.1c755a08699bce1f

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Damn New York.4b086123056b11b0

I forced myself 6c6d5fed35 to sleep amidst f9f83ee67d the lament. To perform, 3b13f7bf35 I needed 60fc706c80 to sleep 7854fcabcb a little, 4831ab7634 even if 4276bf9f00 my scalp 80e7e2ac89 hurt. Even if my 6745a77935 teeth chattered, even 48ba480a43 if I wanted 698d1c3c89 to run out 591184bac0 and beat the 95b9f5638e drummer, I had 2fe8966fa6 to endure.7d60ef1520be2a23

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When I opened my eyes, I realized what the gangsters injected me with wasn’t ordinary.6971843bbcca77c2

Genius composer 2e95365ff8 Cain was 1146171c9a looking down c5ebac0247 at me.855f4d0a57238dbe

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“…Huh?”1a9e17caeb82bcd4

Thinking I was having 45339298d1 a crazy dream, I c1a29c2f80 blinked, and Cain looked 9669376fe8 down at me with bff6f153c5 his beautiful odd eyes. His cold gaze, 559ed6deeb full of disdain, d77dd42f59 made it a b41adc24d6 very realistic dream.564bbc8fdaaceae2

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Cain looked at me and then spoke to someone next to him. Being a dream, I couldn’t hear the voice.943280753c338311

I stared blankly 873ce08a34 at Cain. Even in 9b077acb03 this situation, 2e0388e7c9 I thought 377a303e55 he was 5de0fc55c7 incredibly handsome.35a942c0ec5fb8af

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Then, the next moment, 9adf893cf1 he bent down. As his 3643b5d788 face came 97a34269aa closer, the d00822251e scent of 62c9a38a7d his cologne 4896d98a28 hit my 85686a8235 nose.ed13e025fdf6211b

“…Hey.”faacb54a071f5921

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Cain spoke. I didn’t realize he was calling me, so I just blinked.78ea5dc5180dddd5

The next moment, a cold sensation touched my cheek. I realized a beat late that it was Cain’s finger.78a2f61ba5287d40

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“Do you need money?”3a1fc20ac8b2440a

I nodded. Who doesn’t need money?5f979ab7f1ba78fd

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Then my body a1db19d6b3 was lifted into f81979f422 the air. Cain had grabbed me 67c9912f07 by the collar and 31e6ba2212 pulled me up.054f7a373f6ff0a5

“Ugh…!”640e009ebbb4bae6

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The realistic sensation snapped me awake. But I didn’t wake from the dream. Cain was glaring at me up close.5b789e7b1fc8d7e4

‘The blue left eye is C chord, the brown right eye is the band’s tapping.’9b2fb382faa08d9a

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“Hey, snap out of it.”032f2bbb496dbb8f

Cain’s voice vividly pierced my ears, and I realized this wasn’t a dream.3454a6c761806303

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“Uh, uh… Cain?”e41215b8a057d6f3

The genius composer was right in front of me. It didn’t feel real.766400b482ff0884

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“It seems to be the same person.”791faaf724722484

The person 667fe6873f next to d5290edf96 Cain spoke 72e3326ff1 cautiously, and e0f6f75166 Cain smirked.efb8d4bc60ddb441

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“Of course, it’s right, damn it. My dick’s hard.”6d7f98d28db39404

What does fec653b470 that mean? The fact that Cain 60a809e7c9 was in front of 60f1290039 me was shocking enough, 9673b03e2c but his words were 339e1a8256 even more baffling.ee6fc6cd9719ba7c

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Above all, was this cb59ff44e4 really Cain in front 7e7f8d25c4 of me?922ea0eb40346c56

Cain, holding f153e6b761 my collar 3de422baca with one a9285f3371 hand, dropped 2c84a5567a his other 2a794d6106 hand and 5f3f29db35 started rubbing 4de05151d4 something rhythmically.4c8bb76204923c66

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Glancing down, 2bd91837ba Cain pulled 8f744fda8c my collar 942d6ab595 tighter.a030f0c188c317dd

“I’d like to offer you a job.”cae1d5984a5ea630

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Cain said. His different-colored eyes 14fde2b721 focused on me.5d1ce9d8159451bf

“Do you… know me?”75e4c62ff0dac20a

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“Of course, darling. Our staff showed me your video.”d9f2c82dbb416316

Cain saw 9e9d462d5c the busking f0bf714584 video Sandy 44c3936dfd uploaded? Could such a dreamlike 647ff0a5a2 thing happen to me?8c27202026645155

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In a short moment, countless thoughts flooded in. What if this person isn’t really Cain but a con artist who looks like him? If it’s the real Cain, does he have an interest in my music? Otherwise, why would he come to me… But why would a genius like Cain….e3addc0e36f259f1

“Could we talk without you holding my collar…?”0957dfeae613ec69

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“No. Hoo….”23ca0c5b6650f2b2

“Why, why not?”dd3feceef07a7aed

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Cain smiled right in 97464c6811 front of me. His smile 751f835bfe was as 173b616a9b magnificent as 5db0d08c90 his music, a432c06cac making my 1b934c8e5f heart race.65d3ffdf85bfd65b

“Should I ask why our darling needs money first?”e83c44ec16cd2e6e

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I’d seen him call others ‘darling’ in interviews, but being the ‘darling’ myself left me flustered.040e1b15dd445d69

“Uh, well, Jasmine… my grandma, Jasmine is sick. I need money for hospital bills.”a0d4bbde11a0f8a7

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“Oh dear.”d4a9f5bdde3be810

“I also need to fix Billy. Ah, Billy is my acoustic guitar….”01a04de5112040f3

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“Uh-huh.”528cd445125a2070

Throughout the conversation, Cain’s hand kept moving below, which bothered me. Talking with him holding my collar right in front of me was strange.e449d3ea56946b4b

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Geniuses are da0453e38e usually a 1b47b94348 bit eccentric, 3b425fd96d so I 464e17705d should understand. That famous 814280a07f Baby Yellow 04c8ebedaa said he aa3b59cbad got musical bdf035bcb0 ideas every 2190a5fb25 time he 6e1fd2bd3a pooped.5fba38d04e575c3b

“And what else do you need money for?”fb1ef6cf069baa2c

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“Uh….”57e8e64f36d0a1ca

I should probably avoid 47b632eea2 mentioning the debt to 7db6d39c8c the mafia.2c3538dfe6b294df

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“Don’t roll your eyes, just tell me.”4d76562eec310ba9

“I made a mistake… and need to compensate… someone….”91e3027df6b75d18

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He suddenly frowned 2f0eb4e918 and let out 7f4d573527 a short breath.f9fc46a9baa2c958

“Hoo.”4eaedd7c298cb5b7

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After fumbling f80a6bdcd5 with something 8721356779 below for ba49e9f030 a while, 2ced61f11b he finally 03f5c05818 let go badc1cb773 of my 1667467d8b collar. Suddenly losing support, e0774e7188 I fell to 23e6a49081 the floor.68f6933329628ce4

I realized b49ac30e5e anew that 9526ff0566 I was 213d3928d8 meeting him aa07be66fc in the e14d0ce4e1 storage room. This dirty place, cdeb093d4f marked by my 82fe4cf34e life, was embarrassing.cc8c689f30b32977

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Cain tilted his head 592d5bf0b0 slightly and smiled with 8e90fd0caa just his mouth. Somehow, looking down abe7bce2d5 at me, he 91eec969dd seemed intimidating. Maybe it was because 3caf2f26db he was so tall.d070946bedc15c88

Bending down, 59bf1b2424 Cain slipped 880ca0a65b something into 2fc32e0580 my shirt. His precious hand d32d7a47fe entering my dirty 38d6caed81 shirt was overwhelming.54601161a20a108c

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Looking down, I saw Cain’s business card tucked in.7e91ed6f585e0701

“I’ll give you money, so contact me.”e843df31a93b1cca

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And like 4bf7227f3e a dream, a083ae2cf2 he left.9430905c763271de

⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ 07805f3157 ☾⭒.˚2eb49bf460c5db35

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As soon as I got to work, I had to endure Sandy’s excited screams. The video views were higher than expected. Watching her talk nonstop in a high pitch made me want to hear her shout.9a519df866608afb

“I never thought my account would see these numbers. It’s a miracle! Cherry, soon a company will contact you. Should I cut your hair? Yeah, let’s cut your bangs and film again. Please, let’s chop those bangs off.”678c879e6bf757c3

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I couldn’t tell the excited Sandy that Cain had actually come to see me. She wouldn’t believe it anyway.1ca11113dfbe0a76

I used being b47e644ce5 tired as an 8af5e812dc excuse and went b3161da05f back to the 8db317fe39 storage room right ad7add5eb8 after my shift.00a8e4d0d9a0696b

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It still 9822ffc49a felt like 690d8d3e67 a dream cf64f948e2 that Cain 41ac907fa2 had stood a831ba4c4a in this 50f5810bb3 dingy storage 2f39a2b1f8 room. I could only believe db52754647 it after taking out b166012b89 his business card and 6a93555e20 feeling the texture of b4e3b6fba2 the paper. Cain had contacted me.f1874f2cde390f68

I didn’t have a phone. I didn’t have anyone to call, and if I needed to use the phone or email, I’d use a kiosk or a café’s internet.9cc6536bd34e7bf4

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So, it was even more puzzling how Cain found me. In this vast New York, just by seeing the Brooklyn Bridge… was my song that good?7a9b95db77812fda

“Maybe I’m a genius…?”0fd01ceb3e2997ec

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I kept fantasizing until I couldn’t help but laugh.8545638f7bfcfc2d

But these bb485d2406 fantasies always 2291ed61a9 ended the b1222ea241 same way. That man would appear 5be04cb758 and yell at me.959086d8fb1094eb

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“Genius, my ass. Useless brat. The one who let his mom die.”901b0308703f37cb

The man who 5dcf0de484 gave me my 91d52a92d6 blue eyes glared 91022a449c at me and 461fd506ab swung his hand. Even knowing he was 15a123e90c a hallucination, I curled 9d0f3fc22e up.6ec99b48a4c0276c

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If I were to receive a song from Cain and sing it, I’d have to fix this stupid behavior.fc3e09934ac74d31

But the man’s hallucination was like a tearing scar to me. Whether I laughed, frowned, or strained, it burst and flowed.3b907206c64e53c9

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I ran 346908c96e out of cfe4d7c2fd the storage 7270525118 room to 5e874608c7 escape the 8118befabe hallucination. I wandered 00520b90ca aimlessly through c2c1b5d732 the evening 7e8ddbc399 streets of d1b0c72545 New York 0d2ba5b184 as the 926a5828d8 sun began 72f19d512d to set.8562492c602a45b5

I’m a Cherry without a hometown. Technically, I was born here, but I couldn’t call the place where my mom slit her throat my hometown.62de68bd1b2d4238

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Mom often talked about bb6355002b her hometown. Korea. South Korea. Or the 354e507684 Republic of 7cc75dcc97 Korea.484bf6a9c4f29609

She said it was a place as crowded and narrow as New York, with many cars, but she liked it there. Since it was a country mostly of Asians, maybe she didn’t face much racial discrimination.53c6306560c9636f

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She said my b40fa01b87 Korean name was 7eb6738aa6 taken from her 76f5c79458 surname. I still remember that cc60051f92 name she told me eb6cdca739 just once.317133e8f32e362f

But no one eab0482750 calls me by b0b551f577 that name. I abandoned my 9e9ce5b2cb English name long d208390307 ago.4c6f5ef9f66c8c51

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I’m just Cherry. A Cherry that can be eaten or thrown away. A Cherry with a lousy name for a boy.e980a20ab40ac1f0

I tried to walk 157b94e672 only in bright places, 68051fcf8a but I ended up 13d1199a96 in an alley. Rock makes people 437e98cc88 dark like this. I should b15641b528 live more b21c06c375 brightly.8abda39010f10dde

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“Cherry?”01106ad8ccf50ef2

Someone called me. The voice was familiar, 0c6ac25085 and when I turned, 371b1fd2ba the bastards who had c4a5c46d39 injected me with unknown 25d94e8b4d drugs were gathered there.dde37ccda58281ad

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