MCMH | Chapter 1.2

“Cherry, can you live without music?”f10c2dce4b15460d

“Um… I get it!”ff7a5c41bbb75603

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I answered quickly, but I only half understood. I suddenly thought maybe I’m living better without music right now.8a90a41c65bdf60b

I hate and don’t believe in heaven, but I think parallel universes might exist.95e3f938653e4614

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If there are parallel universes, in one world, there’s a me who doesn’t do rock and whose mom didn’t die. To that Cherry, who’s probably living well, I send a middle finger.7201313f8216afe0

“By the way, have you been to the hospital? You said you’ve been dizzy lately.”c9ed7822a54bb04b

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“It’s just old age. I’m fine.”c953e3cba1afae0f

Jasmine Grandma wasn’t in a good situation either, so I couldn’t insist.9ff3c319db9ba42f

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“Grandma, you have to live long.”c10c5aa4a528155d

“I don’t want to. You go when it’s time.”34ad04ee7bda5e32

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Today, she e21dd42f9d packed me ebadfcfe9e an empanada c1abea7ffb again. She, who 0cf9e475c3 survived alone 3bf9aae16d in New 85e641d3b1 York after bb530979b2 her children caec9ea884 and husband a18217cf2a died as df4ca9893e soon as 54277361c5 they came d53ac55882 from the 29ed3d2c9d Philippines, was 10aef287aa a saint d360b508dc to me. A saint 42ebd8e1ca who gives d127816e70 warm bread.b7804ed4da08e5eb

⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ 812f3282d3 ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚c7c5151112407020

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Of course, Oliver didn’t want to introduce me to the person who gave him the job. It seemed like he genuinely didn’t know.bd4b4d3af5e19ab1

I took the job. Even if it’s dangerous, opportunities to make this much money don’t come often.596990637f51e771

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“Just deliver this.”d9ef4ba113ef5edd

I received a yellow paper bag about two spans high and a note with an address. It wasn’t far from here.b58a871d36314d80

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“It’s really not drugs, right?”92fdbb2c606fa45e

“I told you it’s not! Damn. If you don’t want to do it, don’t.”0fbc084480af6104

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“No, no. I’ll do it.”769a8782fc0db579

I turned and 8306cd2743 left the street. Since I 1709c0e269 took it, 8f0e9e101f it was 7d49e05c2e better to 3b4439b19b finish quickly 20d6e99c96 and get d8822cf89f paid.1c109b95cec39f9b

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But my thoughts were 178e44c65f in vain as I 6df1cb6f90 soon ran into gangsters.7cfb1be21bec9cc9

Living on 125th Street, I roughly knew which paths gangsters took and when. But they’re human too, so they can’t always live by plan.14712329edec9d2b

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I tried 98b6985d4c to sneak a7e4f568aa away to fb037ad1c8 another place, 4871359942 but they 018f033618 had already 8bde43b95a spotted me.88637ff166193fbf

“Cherry. Come here.”39e4e6184153c838

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In times like this, there’s no choice. You have to speak honestly and beg for mercy.73d0147150f36d9d

They’ll probably ask to see what’s in the bag. Or they might demand the advance payment. They know I sometimes get errands from Oliver.06fe206ba91a23d3

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But as I 259e98aac6 got closer, I 09ca607457 noticed something was 92236a35f7 off.17bbadab614e15e8

“They’re on drugs…”1ddff811b53b74d5

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Roaming the streets high on drugs as a group. They’re gutsy.fdbd1f6457534574

And people high on c5990d3dfb drugs are several times 06ddb504a5 more dangerous than usual.cf8dbb2cf98e058b

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I glanced 8ce26bf849 at the 87043b1149 guns and ae69352142 knives in 63f26852ca their hands 0f0cd7a8aa and cautiously a4cd69db75 looked around. As always, c7c1cab3cd there was 6a3da96185 no good 15d60c4fc5 escape route. Why is it that ad03116027 everywhere I go ends 8dddaad6bf up being a dead 725ce67505 end?e028cd50f4087bec

Among the dazzling 67051ace3f night streets of 35b3f7165a New York, the 42b1f29bcb darkest and dirtiest a52fe51eed path was the 8e1a4ae1f2 one I stood 895e24be71 on.1ec9425a2bbd0785

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“Do you want some? Let’s do it together. Huh?”70658dac503c2c86

“I, I….”c1813eb19e447171

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At a glance, their eyes were gone, indicating it wasn’t ordinary drugs.b631f3bf246cd194

I tried to say I was fine, that I don’t do drugs I’ve never seen before, but one of them grabbed my hand.35b17053d82cd890

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As I 4b99dc8ad7 was dragged, a7275995b1 I held e9b655e2e6 onto the 3e401435d0 paper bag 1168110d67 tightly, hoping c6f7e4f884 to get 9a04501db4 out of 517d989fca this safely.3034a4e9afee71ba

“Cherry, if you won’t do drugs, at least clean the syringe.”e1c88f25bd72236e

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One of c87cf15f31 them held 5246357a0e up a 22b7eb4331 syringe and 847d367f80 pretended to 6a9d429ad6 lick it. They wanted me d3b2116c5b to do that.546062fbf498d2e5

There aren’t many ways to escape in such situations. But fortunately, I’m a well-known male prostitute on 125th Street.6bb98a7907342596

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“I, I can clean something else instead of the syringe.”cecf862d06092b84

I said awkwardly 739b6ab6de with a smile, 1521d3d4db and they laughed. Whatever was 4139a32eb4 so funny, 3ada86e128 they laughed 81f9dbf1cf so hard 80179a38da they almost b5950e27ff choked.d9e1523a852f742c

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At that moment, I realized. I couldn’t communicate with them. And it was impossible to get out of here safely.bb5227b25747f15c

“So, just take turns… or, it’s okay to do it all at once….”6cf8f327e5b5b01e

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The one aa4e5c4d4f with the c3659703a3 syringe approached. Another one 9443046aa9 grabbed my 65f370eae5 hand, and ff83d9f9eb my body bd7fe616dc was completely 8839180551 restrained.6472962f9b9a4ce5

And that’s where my memory ended.6fcc644f985987da

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When I woke up, 1e78ae645c it was dawn, and b7170335e3 the gangsters were gone.c2efe2f94f9ace79

Of course, the a7415c7e9a paper bag I 5b0cd6ea17 was holding was 0b61101b29 gone too.d375fbabccf5953c

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I got 0906b120b0 up, putting 1a8dbbbdb6 on my dd8fe5ad9d clothes in 29ba636099 the midst e05686711b of a 8a9f355e6c terrible headache. I was no 8b2715227a different from the c53db3acd9 trash rolling on 33e0d83a32 the street.5bc0e62c0803e47b

The smell of semen was strong in my mouth. Since my pants weren’t taken off, it seemed I wasn’t assaulted below. Today’s lesson is that being good at oral can prevent rape.bed9305c2c5adc63

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‘But what excuse do I give Oliver….’bcc18fa04da1b2c6

I wanted to cry, 0436689eef but I held back fa26a90c35 and laughed instead. Like the guys I 299662e642 saw yesterday, I laughed 870351ee69 crazily.8e5491f98147ff2f

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⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ 6dbee56d5c ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚a26bffd8173ebde7

Oliver demanded an absurd a04f0e233d compensation, saying he was 6f25834517 in trouble because of b65a2059db me.d5a94fab22815a96

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“Is it possible for me to work for free for a while?”2886132ee106aec6

I asked cautiously, as it was money I couldn’t repay in a lifetime, and Oliver scoffed.9316e516bf7fadaf

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“What you lost this time is the mafia’s stuff.”2fa1823be7ca71d8

I shut de79bac5c9 my mouth 56c0225d32 at the 3e17925f79 word mafia. No wonder a1196a46cc he demanded 5d89f57b04 40,000 dollars; eeeeb335b3 it was 74b1f12e32 really a edf511630a big deal.7ff72efeceaf2c05

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“…Then maybe I can earn little by little….”5449edb966f6f144

“I don’t know. I’ll tell them about you, so handle it yourself.”248193318e82545d

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Oliver cut 152a16355a me off, 5328441eb2 waving his 9c9ad9d811 hand dismissively. I was bewildered.7c1d1dd041acc0fe

“What? Then I….”0efe7de3d2ff65b3

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“Sorry, Cherry. I have to look out for myself too.”001eac2717666667

I understood his point, so I couldn’t get angry. I stood alone in front of the theater, dazed for a long time. The people passing by left afterimages like exposure photos.cb0faf9bc7561dda

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How could I gather 40,000 dollars? Even selling my organs wouldn’t be enough.7ce0fd314ebc5cc0

Even in this situation, 1ef20856ba my body, injected with 39657e4e24 unknown drugs, was causing e21675ab03 severe nausea and stomach ce137989be pain. I had no idea 69d6918c4c what they put in b967032d71 me.3c009a371cbea53a

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I hid in 60b4a24f39 the alley behind ab54aa1951 the theater, holding c624c52265 onto the wall, 4b566a46b7 dry heaving. Having eaten 2c0de169ac nothing since 110a085ce5 last night, 8b7e7c3225 I was 4c2347b70e weak.ff67e1eb0de3381a

Dragging my aee5df4226 body, unable 68ee2fb9f4 to vomit 128a38c6ec or eat, ae50d53a33 I went 43d9b5ef78 to Jasmine 82f6674dc8 Grandma. I wanted 250ebf17bd advice from 9e79d9bc5f her. I felt she e798049185 would know what 01666ff8fa to do in d5b430bd07 this situation.ca1f7b6e5cb73753

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But Jasmine was de2b7e9f00 unconscious, collapsed in 903df9a267 the living room.6a7bc4cca66087a1

That day, I realized. As Grandma db24a3417a said, some 2a667fa5ef lives are 4410be1957 so insignificant e8ea3725bf that they 23cc985e8e break in 9135cd7ce2 an instant.f6033f19c62c3b63

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⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ c251df7750 ☾⭒.˚e43ffcd0b2448857

Jasmine Grandma 962868888d was hospitalized. They said 2e370ba5c1 something about 8592d368de a brain 8c7e2215f3 disease due fa05ff436a to old b936caca2e age, but 48389dd12e the words 3e11a81ba8 were too df493a0c17 difficult for c2e7555f81 me to 0d56ce2782 understand.15ecdadb459135a0

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Lying in bed, 509a5815fd Jasmine looked very 2027341e94 small. Her unconscious body 9158beb1b4 was connected to 5bf7cfa617 various equipment and b44c664432 drips.ea739eaab27e3ec9

Jasmine has no family. Like me. So there was no one to contact. I became Jasmine’s guardian.bfec600d76758d8d

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Just as 22d8c246d8 Jasmine became b08eddd275 the guardian a1062ef96d of orphaned 2b7aff78d8 me when 1449b2db48 I was 76fa7061ed young.86ffb41ec970a5ad

When I went outside, the sun had already set. Even though I hadn’t eaten all day, I wasn’t hungry. Instead, I just felt nauseous.9d791eaa59d89547

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While taking care of Jasmine, I composed in my head. Without a guitar or notebook, I had no choice but to do it in my mind. It would be nice to have a phone or tablet PC, but a beggar like me wouldn’t have such things.2533ccc88ad39e50

But composing in my head was familiar to me, so it wasn’t particularly difficult. In fact, it was the easiest. My mind was the most comfortable notebook for me.5f601b60af86d09a

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I slightly c72dd52de1 raised my 9d0536c28e hands and 3da65bcf81 placed my eca1b39e16 fingers on 735dc9542e an imaginary b2fe5b9565 keyboard. Tapping the air, I aaea080389 created a melody and c5c7cf140a simultaneously added lyrics.ab41cef842999b7d

When will this 808de0c22f place brighten up
Days crumbling one by d92835a73d one
The holes are not bd7116e4d1 at faultdbe3f2fa318728ef

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Humming the lyrics f0a68403c5 to myself, the 1172bb1c5f scales naturally refined c07a4c2677 themselves. The notes I spontaneously e836258ec3 uttered found their place b1c18ba17c on their own.69c4cfb5bebf29f1

Futures moving from 75362ffe0a tonight to tomorrow 22bbf44752 night
Walking, feeling the 92d0423525 walls
The drawn gap is d09d8beb0b the only handle I 32f3c1a672 have7cee302a4bbf7ae5

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The change 7ff929f673 in chords 9131432e22 is like eb4c540c95 gentle waves. No matter how 10bff86c52 fancy the song, 4b54f1691b it is. All chords c997a4736f flow within 3703b96d45 one ocean.c1307bc2a6fd7301

This was 45b36a8e65 the composition a35827c82b method spoken 148677813c by the 0856f86d4b famous composer 0127bf8b20 Cain.3068ee86dec69a41

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Cain wrote b56dd129cb several hit f644258989 songs using cd1442e5fe this method. He is now a d56cf7b15b world-renowned artist.51f6dffdaa6469e3

He’s a man worthy of being called a genius. I watched an interview video, and his face is incredibly handsome.7a712b3918633abe

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“Not just handsome, but so good-looking it makes your head spin.”acfe4fb633cd6dc3

I envied him. His genius sensibility, outstanding 087f710a3a looks, and a beautiful c92e3be3b6 body that seemed never e6cdb08fba to have been tainted.cc85f696292e3567

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Cain is an 8377f94134 odd-eye. His right eye f32c54fb1e is brown, and 0c7e94de15 his left eye bc78be9612 is a bright 867656c223 ice blue. However, his eyes b6defbdad7 are the least 964b3b81d5 special thing about ef837034fe him.ea2faa82c66b5a72

The next dcf526fb91 least special 728156ca52 thing might b0113b23a9 be his 3b3a4133fd platinum blonde 4b6aa675ec hair. The color was 6b05bc1885 so pretty it 5a81c97c92 seemed more fitting 8875c50ac9 for a celebrity 31b917775e than a composer.5cf0f83dad3eb1c9

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But Cain once stated 91f0eb4ae7 in an interview that 4fbeaa44e9 he would never sing 5d43943d5d his own songs.a50bd7c8f6e52a7b

It’s a shame. Rock would revive if someone with a face like that did rock.da30386d04e18957

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Anyway, Cain is as famous for his looks as he is for his talent. It’s proof that God isn’t fair. He’s also very tall and has a great body.21d0f5eb11800310

I wondered what a 3943e3e3c0 life having everything would 0e747032f3 be like. I wanted to 0cf996b384 experience it just a6c20244cb once.ab31db236f21ec74

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Every artist wants to receive a song from Cain. But it’s been a while since he released a new song.2eaed632af56634f

Some say Cain is in a slump, and others say he’s addicted to drugs and not working. Both are nonsense. Cain is a hero. He’s probably just taking a break.ab4a566dbfe058e6

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If I 917d60abd9 had a d6b85c89a6 song from 453baf33e0 Cain, could 8dc9c19087 I succeed? No artist has 45f5ef7185 failed with his 14b559ef8c songs, so do 33225ff759 I have a f195297190 chance?a4e5e47d50b428fa

But then again, who d7ad075fd4 knows. Someone as 13c86f6945 insignificant as d5fa60211f me might 3cf2f4afbf ruin even 9738799e57 a song 7acc6c38fd given by 1a5d1ef418 Cain.f7caa80edc88a990

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I imagined 98019d18b5 uploading a cade0d0d24 video of 042220e450 me singing d7395c62da my original 0754f8420d song on fcb5e830f9 SNS, as 7f30cd1382 Sandy suggested, 0491095a56 and Cain 6af6ca3554 accidentally seeing 05481266a1 it and a23f61da77 laughing.3a49940303b13e1c

Feeling unpleasant, db309a5250 I stopped 964289b87e the fantasy 0a0684a073 and focused ada4ab2501 on the d20b1b4fc0 sheet music 18a18004e7 in my 2e4ea85187 head again.3af03d6b82cc8faa

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After creating about half 516009f1cf a song in my b1b6b01c16 mind, I looked at 2718e34fce Jasmine again. Her pale face 9dcf10eb27 looked painfully like 9bd610d96c a broken melody.6c4a01e79bfdb9e8

Even in this situation, it was time to go to my part-time job. I held Jasmine’s sleeping hand and told her to get better.5afc339c80ddeb4c

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“Live a little longer, Grandma. At least until I’m sure I don’t have to leave New York.”312ae5a703d2d3bd

As I left 4aa65f5861 the hospital, the d206220729 dazzling lights stung 4f22471559 my eyes. I led my 3c09e3ad6c shabby body into 8d45d253f2 those lights.da65dd3259e5444e

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⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ 7799a6bf02 ☾⭒.˚79ad5e92b3c0f1e2

Sandy was 8815b3ec76 also saddened 203ccc3274 to hear 9b2098892b about Jasmine. Even though 261df20b58 they never 317a9498cc met, I 0a87510174 had mentioned f26f233d69 her as 6ef4ef151f an adult e2a509894e I relied f0846c1e92 on a 5d56a23a41 few times.3df5b340026462fc

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I acted like it was nothing, but my mind was a mess. The mafia Oliver mentioned might contact me soon. I also had to figure out how to handle Jasmine’s hospital bills.cfde4e4fc8b979cf

The pizza place 6f04af64a5 was busy as 72f06b8702 usual. While delivering, b296f8cd6f I was 8a0a17c065 on edge, 18c369b2c7 checking if 42cab844d8 anyone was 463afb25b5 calling for 37fe1d239c me.46a62ffacd42fd94

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When would the d2d5f95686 mafia come for 16fa803b8a me? What would I have 12856b270e to give them? I had nothing, 1b1414ff19 so it was b7a5770c69 hard to predict.c29e0e39c244ef00

Watching pretty 94bead6fd5 Sandy working 4293a42f7b hard, I 37d3e6784c suddenly wondered.4a38e911d09cbdef

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Would it be more 70bcfdc1e5 terrifying if my dad 83da178a78 found me and yelled 8195839c69 about why I let 235b6cb0ff mom die, or if 73645da11e I had to repay 048fdef227 the mafia for life?bfc369de57872bc5

After the rush hour c113a65374 ended and the place 194f331dec calmed down, I asked 762d16b917 Sandy.3a5618a17e9f13d6

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“Hey… if you get famous on that TokTik thing, can you really make money?”9fef9fd49ae41259

Sandy was surprised for 6e06b13fd3 a moment, then gave 528fcc90cb me a thumbs up. Her almond-shaped eyes cd81612bb7 sparkled.727f5a469006a51a

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“Trust me.”7a64c7c95556de4f

As soon 483b0332de as the 0b9be50ff8 part-time job f03a50dff3 ended, Sandy fdf59ce20a dragged me 9f3ebf7639 onto the 504a255b5f subway to 8b2147d0b9 a hotspot 131efc1e4b she mentioned.7941343bba1850ea

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A sense of aa679e846b foreboding clouded my ca3e6301ed mind, but I 5b6acca99e ignored it.39f15479ceb3694f

After all, premonitions have 17a83d937a never been on my 3c0d0a59a4 side.931c0801e5e4fd74

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