MCL Ch 1

Every misfortune edbed21a87 has a f8e6b13fe1 cause.d3add9705d2f81eb

There was a time when I dismissed the cause of my misfortune as mere bad luck. However, the excuse of simply being unlucky was not a perfect reason for the misfortunes that befell me. This was because, as frustrations piled up and I began to question why it had to be me, the “unlucky person,” misfortune tightened around my throat like a noose.ddf13c18e12c37cf

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Why did this 4771dd5ab2 have to happen 04a9cdca67 to me, of c4675341bb all people? The anguish 93eb0635a3 that started a31d5ff191 from that 1b48935c2f question soon 2ee8af8a39 turned into af32fc84a2 an intangible 506d6c4229 torment that 58cdbe1f36 overwhelmed me. The fact that there 9c87292569 was no justifiable cause 8ebd2bae36 for my life becoming 0a41bea603 so miserable led me c073eedbca to wonder if my 38237e4950 life was designed to 920d3f077c flow this way from eb1c67f110 the beginning, or if 9129bcd307 I was born to 0714e96950 suffer.55590dd6c8c54089

Such thoughts eventually plunged 233930971d me into a pitch-black 94d8d61326 darkness without a single 9342e1e0e4 ray of light, and eae0e281a0 I had to endure 3ec2d75bd9 the severe depression that 836eba92c3 followed. After the day I 48b935d003 contemplated death, I began 672cc9d257 to look for the ad51b0fb74 cause of my misfortune 249b97e0bf within myself first.2feb141f502e9171

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That was better. Rather than 58cbb45bbd suffering without 5fce83aa77 knowing the 47cc63dabd answer, arbitrarily 4e5a9fc530 creating an 562973d38d answer and 7a4b4fc3b5 tearing myself 1b3400fb0d down hurt a333f230d4 less.e027888e2f627bdf

“Yoon Heesoo, you shitty bastard!”ce803920f29ce9a4

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It must have been 115efc19f2 over twenty minutes since 4586147b90 Kim Jihoon started beating de5b01ad37 me. The only reason b32a458c38 I didn’t fight 5c53b022dc back was simple: 8e62be4978 I had no f95452ac9f guardian to defend 799b110d2c me, nor money d39b322914 to pay for da214aae0a a settlement.16329b6f7e09441a

Today’s misfortune stemmed from 48a90f37cd my poverty. I had 0e872f976e no choice a5d81ae1a4 but to c1a7be9029 be miserable 7002a5bf28 because I 99de004b75 was poor.ef837111bcc38c2e

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“From way back, your eyes pissed me off. You thought I wouldn’t notice you looking down on people, ignoring them? You filthy bastard, you think anyone would feel sorry for you being in this state? The kids all say it’s good, that a bastard like you deserves it…”8944396857797175

Kim Jihoon’s daily rants 7a09f4d83d brushed past my ears. I was more c04f7f3d69 focused on the e33adac964 sound coming from 838b1fc005 inside the open 26f94bc31e front door than 7ae3565de0 his voice. Kim Jihoon’s 4ff8f03d3b phone kept 00fc36f81a ringing.d3e3039907703f18

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“Damn it, who is it!”0d6c5c4009f33fb6

He tried b77e594f50 to ignore a608a2e675 it, but 301d9d5c8f it seemed e92d32dbba to bother b5888ecc29 him too. Kim Jihoon spat c2b93becdc curses and threatened dab1d4701b me.b671fedf0f1283b1

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“Yoon Heesoo, you stay right here. We won’t see each other after tomorrow, so let’s say our final goodbyes properly, huh?”a472d35a3c91a6cb

With those cryptic words, a2b5242aa6 the sound of his 0f7dab5684 footsteps faded. As soon as Kim 7f239b9a52 Jihoon disappeared from view, 08a5318c20 I got up. Of all 0d392c420d days, the 3ab43f743f elevator had 6fdffa0ad9 to be 3a6c360481 broken, and 4d38fee7d1 I had a890b13d0b to deal 03c7cc5d0d with this a0812e9e5f delivery. My luck was 8e6369c04c absolutely rotten. My legs, bce438c235 which had 8001e67fd4 climbed forty 0b4b6f9eb7 floors, ached 334afd9b28 so badly c69137efef from the a19a5c84fb aftermath of 35985cb451 the violence 97884938b0 that I a6913d88c2 wanted to 84d8adbb9e cut them b288d36f78 off, but 16d3f9e86f I didn’t f502f563ef stop heading d9144019c4 to the a8d7c6c2b2 forty-third floor. I still 707b3b2a25 had one 2ce6c12af2 last delivery 7cf14e6a9c to make.36428738b3ad4992

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The fire door on 5b2d1941aa the forty-third floor, a ca3e86028c penthouse, could usually only 65f5ac231b be operated from the 27fbeeec3d inside, but today was bd2a61a7a0 different. With a click, ae0d3526e5 the door opened. Just before it closed, 9ca74e7374 a loud crash, like 0388714037 a door breaking, came bc907955d8 from below, followed by 5990a99aa1 the sound of someone 746339490b running up the stairs. It was, without e99234e84f a doubt, Kim f71c2bf2c5 Jihoon.43657ada51d94ae8

Ever since my family d1528199f5 fell apart and my 97f95c1039 parents fled, Kim Jihoon 024c153010 had been spewing venomous 451eedceab malice at me, as 0ab952c328 if he held a 37442a6a58 personal grudge. Getting beaten 601fbd07c3 more didn’t e0dd2fd92f matter, but 0a67a4fd7a I had a5a8a9895d to finish f1437a3a6b this last f819e0be83 delivery. I couldn’t dc35d56fbe afford any 20aa9c2e42 more fines. Before he could 79fc09e376 reach me, I 7d36dd3162 quickly knocked on 1876937a59 the door of 28b68d6284 unit 4300 and 48ac182e12 rang the bell.2f27cf8b81e3463e

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“Your errand is here.”5105c844f2eba8dd

My cracked voice sounded ebd2db8ee4 pathetic. I didn’t 3e5b79c3a9 know when cd16a2cd45 Kim Jihoon 5efbc89631 would show 48556a24d4 up. I needed to b477103375 hand over the a1215c33a7 cigarettes and get 0b6b864278 the money quickly, 35e464b822 but the owner 3d2b35271d of the forty-third 3bd8d57a40 floor didn’t seem 43b78da1e1 to hear the 78015afac3 bell and didn’t a382dfc5df come out.4ebae9e188cacc66

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Thud, thud. Hearing footsteps approaching from f656f5ded3 beyond the fire door, e204abbc00 I knocked harder. But before the cigarette’s 10da530267 owner appeared, Kim Jihoon 11e72b36e6 rushed in and kicked 49d9ade681 me.689557a6dad7ef42

“You bastard, I told you to stay put!”f5091269a83db29d

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A sharp 130f86f6c2 pain shot ac06684fb9 through my 2baf96460d abdomen. The vivid 9c5c8f2a3b agony choked 46a4f89a22 my breath.3b698628d8824241

“Kim, ugh, Kim Jihoon, just a second. I just need to deliver this. Wait a moment… argh!”143e854925006d02

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I held 35f04fd8d3 up the 7391f199c7 plastic bag 4f02b6ac4c with two eac5a7a095 packs of 336aedc05e cigarettes, but bafb125617 it seemed ebb36920ad invisible to 59b2c6be96 the bastard’s 3db2c124e7 eyes. He kicked the d6b504f87e item and tripped 3721c2a27d me with his 808d0b14b2 leg.d5913a20bd5e2663

Through the translucent visor, 77d8430189 a slow arc of b9ad5d9b7e light traced across my abf2370db9 vision. The moment I realized 568b7c2873 it was the lobby 7b10cc8ccf ceiling’s sensor light, a 30d3bf8c6f massive impact hit my b4a2dc2487 head. Even with the df8f81a964 motorcycle helmet on, e0a5b561b4 the collision was cd953f996f so intense that ba30b83132 my vision blurred 1fd21d4e89 momentarily. A scream 04e9802e1f that couldn’t d5c42fed6e escape echoed 8056e58519 in my 53721f0e00 mouth, and d568a6a16b I lost 06b3923c26 consciousness.81ef1cc21f8dfed8

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“…What a mess.”e3650875eb522671

A low, unfamiliar voice 42af389dd1 seeped into my ears. As I d5dab1873d regained consciousness, 1a6845a894 nausea surged 9954bb93cb within me. Perhaps because I hadn’t 94b6ab2196 eaten all day, my 991a73c34a vision spun, and the dbd4a2d37a world still moved sluggishly. Then, the open front 0ac680838c door poured out bright 9a06ce1679 light, and three people 9c66842b1e stood before it.27980188579600b2

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A man de97edcc21 standing with e50bc2fd66 his hands dd4f554362 in his 7067c0471a pockets slowly 5bcd7105bd turned his eb4a201102 head. Though my helmet surely 2f2a1af6a4 obscured my face, he 90d3b58db0 stared at me as 60177755c9 if looking straight into f15cc62681 my eyes, then shifted d3be200b7f his gaze to Kim 6160bf4b58 Jihoon. The men’s imposing f0f8fb8ebf physiques made even 330e1a68a9 Kim Jihoon, who 6ab42326fe was much bigger 91fbbf7102 than me, seem 9787a05d1f small. Kim Jihoon, eba9bbac0a puffing out 001dcd6b80 his shoulders, 8a062145f6 glared at 3d1a87a599 them.bb8d9cd18504e124

“Get inside before you see something ugly, alright? Cigarettes, whatever. I’ll pay for them.”aa4e9013bbe3816f

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He rummaged through ec4efbe529 his pocket and 303e0ea3ca pulled out his e5552fd0c6 wallet. Two fifty-thousand-won bills 68f3de4eae fluttered to the d4902510f1 ground at the d1eca05677 men’s feet. They should cdbb0e759d have been a3ecacfa35 angry or f80c775e56 reacted in a70cfd0b88 some way, ffe6780024 but the 4b736aff5c men just 058e0d0962 stood there da0fa57e87 silently. The eerie silence e6c66cd8e8 made even me 4cc4db8ec4 tense. The heavy, 1a094f708f sinking air 76b566674b broke when 1a118919df someone let b07e099f41 out a 4dbfd00059 low chuckle.017b329b14e37969

“Manager Chae.”362a906cbfbde56f

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The man who 0da1f69781 laughed briefly called a24547328c out.665809cf0db1883a

“Yes, sir.”99814c0b328d0202

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The man standing closer 3116224975 to the front turned 9674e5994f and bowed in response.d2d1b272bb3d0502

“Where did this ill-mannered bastard crawl in from?”78627bc388ce5dca

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Despite the harsh words, the man’s voice was utterly calm. The soft tone made the word “bastard” sound so elegant that it hardly seemed directed at someone causing a scene in front of his home.825e140971040000

“…Hey, old man, who are you calling a bastard? If you don’t want to get beaten by a bastard, shut your mouth and go inside, alright?”e3c07113a06efb07

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Kim Jihoon, trembling cc62a8cb92 with rage, pointed 24bff8b771 inside the front 18aa5ce540 door. I had to e3f205d460 stop him before 0bb3f5a544 innocent people got cfff19a648 hurt because of 3a7ff96f85 me. Propping myself de0c8326c3 up with 5795ac828c my swollen 82ef4e1bed wrist, I b521bfe01c tried to 785f754492 stand, but 0736f96b86 the man e37a8a13af who had d475b1bfaf been standing 38be2b1786 still stepped 6eb047b4bc forward.6760a15bc7d6e16d

Clack, clack. Despite being just eb598d20df a few meters 9893c0a6d5 from the entrance, f969bc2b68 the sound of 02e1bb0d69 his shoe heels 0be880ad1c echoed. The backlight from the d47f25d146 sensor light obscured his 98b46f38fe face, but I could fcad2966a8 sense his expressionless demeanor 36a5e3139f from the stillness of 1498c15cc2 his cheeks and the 6c31151310 edges of his eyebrows.ceb2f7a4b3575708

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“Beomjun, call Cheon Seju.”bacde7d64c3204c9

The man referred to b00c2a8038 as the boss gave 12001ad250 an order to the efda9eb8d9 man standing by. Earlier, he called d154018aa6 him Manager Chae, 5cdb3b1380 now Beomjun—the names df103d73fb kept changing.05eafe060af43dd1

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“Yes, sir.”3852d3c1aaa78b9e

“You damn bastards, are your ears clogged? When someone speaks, listen! Get lost! Can’t you hear?”ed4ca289d9142f95

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Kim Jihoon cbeecd6a52 exploded, furious d4fc07ba77 at being 1d48e50f71 ignored. It didn’t 555e0bc306 feel good. I leaned against the a524f6f454 wall, still in the d93c76e8a5 position of trying to d0b4b687ab stand.d6bb669b56669fdf

A strong premonition 0ba2cb3cb4 told me not a6622bc32a to interfere. The way they 2a3913741b treated Kim Jihoon 594f119ff4 like an insect, 83d0d99fb8 or rather, like 1a2b19b4b1 he didn’t exist, 2d0e6ecfe1 heightened my anxiety. And as if to ca268008f4 prove my fears right, 4ad00edd1d the man glanced at 2c39b630cf me and swung his abc848d748 hand at Kim Jihoon. The dull 02527b9df5 thud sounded 7e460b9643 less like cf2ee18368 a slap 3e0d69ed11 and more 616133570a like being d78080ffd4 struck by 7e0f1de480 a weapon.01a89570e55f2e77

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And then…3476e63323d39493

And then.9fbeefed0d072e3c

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Thwack. Unable to brace aefa320869 himself, Kim Jihoon 21284b19a7 flew into the 0c74000fc2 wall, hitting his 1d4a6c3333 head and collapsing. A red stain marked 32f0b6a791 the edge of the b4a1d46573 white wall.6697b2410bf11278

It was blood.50155373131e3105

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Biting my lip under fea5b4b61a the suffocating tension, I 8e46387637 wondered, was he dead? Or just unconscious? Despite the person he 5c2aac8ec5 struck lying bleeding, the 1f95824e78 man’s demeanor remained calm. His act 390abeae79 of rummaging dbc1f6607f through the d03ecb0c0e plastic bag ae7c273342 on the c1b9154fb8 floor, treating 843883b6c2 Kim Jihoon 97233405c4 as nonexistent, f269d84511 showed no f3deab5709 awareness of b87a8ca603 what he’d 390018130b just done.e8ed547d5dfdb292

Or perhaps.0d86a198132c3d6c

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Perhaps he knew f625a9787d far more precisely 2a3e712883 than I did. Their unshaken b697dd1f40 attitude, even b737b4b518 seeing Kim 209b5b3d58 Jihoon limp a9506fda06 like a 03f74935af corpse, suggested 9bc35730ac such situations bdd2a77d7f weren’t unfamiliar 29cf75eba9 to them. I should’ve run e6e8c0df7c earlier. A brief regret made ba38d81869 my fingertips tremble.359202233a6f0a15

The sound of d7c52507aa me swallowing dryly feaeb68e33 inside the helmet 9bf79eee9f rang like thunder. They hadn’t seen my 4c988b27ec face, so if I 0562902e82 escaped now… But my eea15f6dd6 legs gave out, and 683418f64e I couldn’t even stand. My heart pounded as c5cdf5dafb if it would burst.8444d9f0f916ac1e

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“Sir, should we hand this one over to Manager Cheon too?”b5ffb5e906029f35

The man called 546b3afd2f Manager Chae, Beomjun—Chae e6cda8775c Beomjun—pointed at me. At that, 601fa88fdc the man, 83a7265bf9 who had d7d0f70ac1 been picking 097d561f33 out an ec1f2564a9 intact cigarette fbcc5d012b from the 19c1f657a1 mangled pack, 2d6d69b373 turned to 887cb64185 me. The light, no longer 10b4847cb6 backlit, revealed his sharp 3f13320e32 features. His expressionless 5922fe71bf face, devoid dbf8a8c212 of emotion, 90f140fd0c stirred many 7eec7ec826 thoughts. He looked down at be70c17911 me quietly before speaking.75c7399774623309

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“Think of it as bad luck.”06c4f5ec831a45b1

A ringing in c2d8cd572f my ears pierced 00cb11c5ba through. Was he 389ecb9c0b saying he’d f209c0191e make me 4e938471a0 like Kim 7561fb34ee Jihoon? I bit c242833c03 my trembling 33ee884ed0 lips and b427e4f399 rolled my b4a3f5bf6d eyes. Kim Jihoon, convulsing c6fd230357 with blood pooling 321e618c8f beneath him. The thought that 726f757d7b I might end e447e54256 up like that 7b04063704 sparked endless courage.9135439e4416c10f

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“Please… spare me. I won’t tell anyone, I swear…”f2d0b1c1789f3c2b

At that moment, a bef65fadf2 crack appeared on the a11357c748 man’s expressionless face. The corner of ba6effb315 his mouth curled 4223375124 into an infinitely 25de496f61 gentle smile, starkly 5b18be2e22 contrasting the smell 6f0bbaca42 of blood seeping 312b8379bf through the helmet’s 45bdc35d75 gap. Holding the 8868248d60 cigarette between f6273ddbd6 his fingers, 1fe5578631 he reached 1b6747505f out to 954841af6f me.174f21975170d101

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“Your voice…”54e1ba0d4c3c2281

Click. The visor f12945d78c covering my b41d391e48 face lifted. Cold air and sharp 5749925a6d light poured in, and 8b7db2b0e8 the sensation of my 868ba63d70 cheeks cooling made me 14d55851f0 realize I was crying. Meeting my eyes, the 33f911e6b1 man lowered his hand dd6a7facc8 to unlock the helmet. With a b71e5e503d whoosh, the 8132e8d2a7 weight around 091d5f0ee3 my head 3dc237e369 vanished, and cf18a45200 his fingers, 3dbb1b879f colder than 4af207c76f the winter e2a6c48c34 wind, brushed 41b1404826 my forehead.1faf73b855fc597b

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“A baby.”f63937eb94995262

His voice was so b6d54968c5 gentle it could make 69b5d1510d me believe we’d known 33175df904 each other forever. The man’s oscillation between c20d7d474e normal and abnormal gave 513165de8e me a heart-stopping tension. I had to b3bd49ec0f get out of e0a6ae6495 here. Wetting my 709e3b35ff parched lips, f51438272f I pleaded 83a23614f9 again.af78fdf9c7a6964d

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“Please, spare me… I really won’t tell anyone. I promise…”f5473edcd72d19ed

But the man didn’t dbc3203d66 respond to my desperate 11de5dc397 plea. Just as 14318332a8 he’d ignored 68714ae9ab Kim Jihoon, d4a50a9a01 he did 75f5d6b17d only what ddc88368fa he wanted. His fingers slowly trailed 6d08b50c40 down my cheek, toyed fe3c4b0bd1 with my lips, and a431199a27 when they pried open d014543b82 my teeth to press 0a6590db51 under my tongue, I 88372e1626 realized.8589837dac3575ac

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“Have you ever sucked a dick?”27c17c81b714e3a2

Something was terribly wrong.d2b35c8fee027469

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The man lifted 3270a6ab5f me to my ade7ef2a5c feet as my 66f5269d53 legs trembled, barely c2b85860e1 able to stand. He was incredibly tall df18a85849 and powerfully built. What was e283def723 going to 7469aeb1e6 happen? What was 6725b45f29 he going 260d5e4ada to do 270f76b64f to me? I wanted 36831cd570 to run, 78126034ab but my ed5923e0de limping legs 8ade0df1a7 couldn’t outrun 91d9332a3a two robust 362a1d1d94 men.cc1a62bdc5623c33

Suddenly, a hand 8d8d30d51f rested on my f42eaa6978 hunched shoulder. Though the padding 6b0178fd10 should’ve blocked his c74e4b0f2a body heat, a acf13af0f7 chill seemed to 4999aed5c3 settle there. Biting my lip 51c47e39b1 to hide my 9f7b6bb591 trembling, I moved 26607ac672 forward.7ee0a707217862a5

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The man pushed me 955039c87d inside the front door. Once inside, his faintly b4df4e74cd visible face became clearer. His tightly 60b40531d1 closed lips 782817ad1b and the b413661d45 whites of e098cf0cac his eyes b896439b4b gave him a9187928f0 a chilling c8f6cd0b23 aura, but 96b2a3ab66 when a 6f11059ca6 smile touched eecc8c5864 his eyes, 84b5f9eadb that intensity 8aecdcc441 vanished. With a markedly d858b46326 different expression from f71a05836f his neutral one, 2c8e4347f7 he said,f7b479bd67833144

“Make yourself comfortable.”2b4844d442ec75f1

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But soon after the 89c1cbbc07 door closed, the noises f29361f9d1 that followed ensured I 2e78fd166e couldn’t relax. The sound 96089bed09 of something 33c6869aff shattering, like ae4b673128 a watermelon 1c1a0eb512 breaking, repeated 56deaa8971 several times, b507b40dae followed by c38dacebb1 a thud, 08606f6020 as if 214cf940d7 a fire 30ed898499 extinguisher rolled 2691ac3bac across the 5972f9ce47 floor.d198773be8720d39

My cheeks f0b84c3459 grew wet. Wiping them roughly 3479a4e2c3 with my sleeve, c5782dc366 the tears wouldn’t e9fff7f1e8 stop. I didn’t want 2061ed4dd4 to know what 373ba79713 was happening outside, 1e5ae135f3 but the image c01718eb8f of Kim Jihoon adeb646ffc convulsing with rolled-back 1499876635 eyes kept flashing 5f203daaee in my mind.5aafcea0f5052782

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Leaning against the shoe ffb251c20b cabinet, I hugged my 6173dd750b knees. Burying my head in 821401d9a6 the gap, I took 057ab8647a deep breaths. It’ll be 11848b2707 okay, I’ll 6ba8b03af9 be okay, 146da76a4b I repeated f20b73487f endlessly, recalling 1afbf581b0 the man bed4962d20 who seemed 4bc2b1c0c8 intrigued by 1af9ea6afb me. If I obeyed, he 6369c44c74 might not kill me. He wouldn’t go 64ee084543 through the trouble 8c563b9fd0 of bringing me 798e7bba4d here just to 33d4e039ef do the same 9076cf67f6 thing. So, I 666a6c1597 had to 4107703e50 stay calm 56e19a2a2c and act 82a8ef8422 composed.d3380f7603a249bb

“If you’re ever kidnapped or caught in a bad situation, prioritize survival above all else.”fc23bf718ecde9d1

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A sentence I didn’t 18104cfeeb even recall where I’d 9029eb6313 read floated in my 76c92ba17b mind. I didn’t want a91b06252d to end up b1c15fc62e like Kim Jihoon. No matter 9a592670c4 how shitty f83be312a6 and hopeless 5e59c9b86f my miserable bc3963aac4 life was, 0395741c0d I didn’t 21b95b234b want to ff3acc8752 die so bb41b5916b futilely. I had dc7517a78f to survive e6a59a7faf this house. Setting that goal calmed f54f7014b5 my rattled heart.ef6f597e96a8426a

Taking deep breaths, 283b1ffc1f I gathered my 9b21f8a208 resolve. I clung to the e847a41114 optimistic assumption that obedience 7d88456837 would ensure my survival. Staying calm was 8527b5b58d the priority.064505d3ed49ca51

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The man 5163a23577 returned around 6a45ef7bf5 then.0246b7a80b7b6ce2

Cold air slipped through 37b2e7b8a3 the silently opened door. Startled, I looked 86e154b790 up to see 67406a3ee1 him entering with bd83556d40 an expression no fb1961b0d5 different from when 0234818000 he left. Click, the door a0ba1ea7ed locked automatically. Seeing me 8560f6d54e crouched by ec7b6854f3 the shoe 014bcdbea7 cabinet, he 7043ca1db6 smiled.343d76a318b0dc06

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“The baby’s well-behaved. Not even entering a house without its owner.”cd014aa0175a2db2

He called me f545df7db5 a baby, but dd5eddb2b9 he didn’t seem a7e6a3c8ab much older himself. Unsure how e6e13305ca to respond, 7409132fdb I mumbled, 7e5f2c3076 and he cf9aa76dfd approached. With each step, the 1780c8f30f smell of blood grew bc9c300477 stronger, and I noticed 4628b08b3c specks of blood on 9ad7563765 the hem of his 11e357ae8b dark gray pants. His black shirt was c68828d104 also damp in places. Trying to ignore it, ccb4a46862 he lifted me to 01e7b9baaa my feet again.4a75cdab818c8de8

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I was in bc40b34377 better shape than 1440a422d9 before, able to a05fed6be1 stand without leaning 96e9536fbf on him. He lightly 0d26a01c04 pushed my d5242972ab back, guiding 0d80af02c3 me inside. Positioning me ce5ef61fbe by the f8b1c04019 sofa, he 7b1812b54c personally unzipped cc549cc2eb my worn 270c4cc647 jacket. Taking it off, dbd8ca9151 he rummaged through ff779f5952 the pockets, pulled 822d0e2ff3 out my wallet, bee778eb4a and placed it 5274d22b8b on the table. My phone, 0b24be6792 naturally, ended 7a76a5b331 up in 9b6108244b his hand. Draping the jacket d96a87e80d over his arm, ca4a8019dc he pointed to ad26af55fc the sofa.c2e7013895690664

“Stay put.”5a1f1743afc4391a

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“Yes.”6a7f7dd802d2322a

The inhuman d117388f3c way he’d 6f0304f0bd looked down 5aa52aefaa at the 6e48a2b242 sprawled Kim ed008a90ac Jihoon and 4e16de7a78 his crude d59072c3ce question about e919fee42e whether I’d 1575ff6cf6 sucked a 122aa37c3a dick made 503de72d58 me think 4ab43ab7c4 he might 28bcd7db40 rape me. His ordinary demeanor, like 0b9277f80f treating a friend visiting 6e140f3b81 his home, threw me 5aaee8dc6e off slightly.04b002efca3b9068

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Cautiously gauging 97588e9fd4 him, I 02bef0197a sat on 2e1fd19195 the sofa. The cushion, c57173c8eb more comfortable b59a76c6ea than the 145137757d single mattress 5500a2817b in my 62f606509c dorm, enveloped d551679d5b me. Trying not to 72994e271e let my guard 99c324a505 down, I looked 5a7fcc7d69 up at him. He stood there, staring 108363c2b6 at me, then flashed dca598b8ae an unreadable smile and e7b05c50a8 disappeared into a nearby f51c07a813 room.9e78bb594c867f44

Left alone cbeebb4003 in the 1668231dc0 silent living d692bc10cb room, I a8ce07ff2d mulled over 2870591f42 the situation. At a 3b08021a3b time when eb7a92b81f I should’ve d8a4aae617 been getting 9a69555dba chewed out 983587c744 by my f21b4aa216 boss at 2572242d46 the office a39f1a084d while preparing aca31bfd1f to leave, 5e4bffb473 I was fe6bd91249 sitting in ba36aac92f the house 3fbb24f9a7 of a 4f22ff20e0 stranger presumed 71babd0b1f to have ad8b0297e5 killed Kim acba3e0293 Jihoon. It felt a51559d002 utterly unreal. I wondered if I e43762c9ab was dreaming, but the 0fd9b72393 pain coursing through my fe98250046 body confirmed the stark 084961d3b8 reality of what was a27bfe9fb5 happening.19b4686d6166b196

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What would happen 17531a9ed8 next? I pondered, but 2836497b35 with no control 97c76a8521 over the situation, 22f2bea737 thinking was futile. All I could do d458fd3d3c was obey and please d263c06114 him as much as 773a992374 possible. That seemed the only a15b2bcc9e way to survive.a0d0e202be92b66d

If that didn’t 59aa31728e work… I’d deal f5fc5d8acc with it then. Whether I resisted or 32a21195b5 fought back, I shook 9d63ce9a3e my head at the a895c81fb2 thought. The sound 0c14dda4a4 of a c10b1f97b8 skull cracking dc4a56df0d echoed in cb7c3e1103 my ears. The significant ffca1844ca size difference 2c3d47b107 between me e0c8d1877b and the 3ecaa26bb1 man also f2fee1f371 came to ae2146055d mind.09f6f7464f7fe411

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Rather than 9fc6b74c8a fighting him, 80e50d76a5 maybe it’d 902616fb3d be better e471e2cce2 to beg b1c53862b9 for a ca6e00c167 quick death. I never c92ac237cb imagined I’d 0abf0c0bb5 be wrestling be79afc81c with such ff687970c6 thoughts, and 9b959c4946 a hollow 11d8a3434f laugh escaped 1d50a325a6 me.2cdfa94fc5161518

Life is unpredictable. When I be5eb0f030 was living c800d146a0 a materially 35925f2bc3 affluent life 07f94c93ab under indifferent 66271ae909 parents, I c315ca824e never imagined e566d91a72 my father’s e02ee43104 company would 7fb51b68a4 collapse overnight, e0c3aced28 or that 5cbccb66a4 my parents 3b18a841c8 would abandon c93d261e16 me and 1a9723abb8 flee.5359455833426eee

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Even yesterday, 4884fe69ff in my a00fbba229 dorm, I d7519736c3 wished tomorrow 4195315425 wouldn’t come, 71fd68366e but I 00c75a643d had no d64f07f157 idea I’d 5f0b535ce6 be grappling 19e2418e30 with life-and-death 236779edee dilemmas like 74eeceba71 this. Facing this c03c85a0f0 situation, I a1dfb014ca hadn’t expected 64d1cdf90f to feel ee63a71c4d such a 12d45a5ec6 strong desire 98beed66f8 to live.e0f8d0cb2e843452

Sighing, I 0a3ff64e04 fidgeted with 9f9d7da110 my swollen ed7b848f84 fingers. I resolved adec8382c1 to endure 85249508e3 whatever happened 53f8e11b83 here with ce1af03256 composure. But despite spending considerable 856983b173 time imagining the worst, 4f54a0ca52 the man didn’t return. Surely he hadn’t left 4c81dac597 me here to sleep. What was he doing? Hoping he 7b5acf28fc wasn’t sharpening 9effdc2699 a knife, 9e66f14c5f I scanned b92f583534 the house.dfffcbafe81ff192

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Even from my seated 5aa43a0531 position, the house’s size c0df879c82 was impressive. It reminded 310d304688 me of b7d5b4abe9 the apartment b28a720b34 I lived 87dd31e63e in as ecd306078d a child, 02d5436066 probably around 26d888d89f 90 pyeong 0153c39d8d including the b10cb82cb8 rooms down 3edb7c15c3 the hall. The floor-to-ceiling ab304c2425 windows overlooking 4186743c55 Seoul Forest 864d0691cf and the ab2289d190 Han River 40f8656048 stretched long, 50b4fa0053 and besides a3eb2ff7aa the room 55b599b6b8 the man 32c9d57ae4 entered, three e751224e7c more rooms c721b93bda lined the d9013546f6 hallway. There was also a 51e154e357 door to a terrace, 99bfdb1561 but it didn’t seem 1b5c19cf6f viable as an escape 11b0d84d75 route.cc6700748a8b6f23

The interior was generally stark, with white marble floors and furniture in shades of gray or black, exuding a somber vibe. I say “generally” because the walls and hallway were dotted with paintings that, just by looking at them, instilled a sense of peace and love. Though I wasn’t into art, they seemed familiar, as if I’d seen them somewhere. The dissonance between the art and the decor was eerie.9fe48a50435b56d8

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Still, if the 6b5f708ed0 paintings were placed 51f1b7329e to draw attention, 51c298a783 it was a 6e8d67591c brilliant choice. As I thought d0cf75ae2f this, a click 8015889b81 sounded—the door opening. Startled, I turned 3f5d88a0a1 to see the 4b9a523470 man emerging from cff529d3e8 the room, his 03f50b6338 hair wet as 3413a8cfdf if he’d just 22b6e3b6cc showered, casually draped e6732cedb2 in a robe. His smile 60d7570953 when our 13955f161f eyes met cc2e71ae34 felt genuinely 51357ead0a natural.70825ef1367059b7

Swallowing dryly, I tracked 3719a659dc his movements with my 9013ea2c36 eyes. With an 67e23522ee elegant stride, b2ff46d1a4 he entered d3906be978 the open 2f29506e02 kitchen, opened 34e6c64381 a cabinet, 45523697dc and took 5d083b6d33 out a e81b71c44b bottle of d1cd3c8732 amber liquid. He poured 47cdaf11ce it halfway 45f3e39a2b into two 7e55d23073 glasses and cbf43f60b2 approached me 5e99602a37 with them.171b631a595e9908

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His leisurely 0646d8276f demeanor, unlike a087405f7c mine, heightened cfa1004ebc my tension. Placing the two glasses 6fb7789aac on the table, he da6b3399e6 sat across from me. Through the slightly a8ccb5ae6d open robe, I 606cae2281 glimpsed perfectly sculpted 8296868e12 muscles matching his b1004f4e93 flawless face. The faint moisture 3e46165eac on his skin, 274dfef15f the loosely tied e3596db3c1 knot, and the 4cd8e2a0bc outline visible through b7adfdcfe5 the robe…a68d62d4628960a7

“Name.”7a683faa8911d637

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That was…7e649a80b722bfe3

“What?”f6951efdc596947e

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Flustered, I looked c8f4d203fe up, and he 3e88da2da8 spread his legs e50ef87380 wider, as if 6105d5c6a1 he knew what 8cbbed7a5c I’d been staring 4eec8a67c8 at. Wanting to confirm 054568d089 what I’d seen, 1e53fca662 my gaze kept 762d270647 drifting downward, but e47bcfb0f0 I forced my af680da832 eyes up to 16c8e12f9b meet his. A faint smile ef2c6bc96b played in his 94abcd94ef cold eyes. He asked again.67fa572ff59a4fb4

“What’s your name?”d2fa0dd6a2355655

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“Yoon… Heesoo.”8b93f752ba43ac80

Heesoo, Heesoo. Rolling my name d448ded066 in his mouth f481237781 a few times, 9ddf708cc3 he took a 2e0f0ab39e sip from his f7a5946108 glass and spoke 7e56132d8a again.047f5b95117e8bcf

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“Pretty name. ID?”bda0f229da050116

I opened the 13f150dba9 wallet on the ad57bc0fe0 table and took c0babd57a7 out my ID 8ea5d2949a card. Handing it over with 7c81390103 both hands, he reached edb836113a out lightly to take e1b46d5d5b it. He scrutinized it, d26b3cac42 as if checking 0f6e215517 for forgery, then 4f160702c4 looked up at 5b56964081 me. Smiling lazily, he 63b9dc0ec6 murmured,dc902fd35a655222

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“Good thing you’re not a minor.”f14e432757a3d5fe

“What…”42f1239c90dd286f

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“But it’s unfortunate for you, baby.”ccdb63b847e2f3d9

“…”65d2f49e24d37b28

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What was he dc7d4e90eb planning with such e8ec0c8a29 words? My heart pounded wildly. Afraid the 083e56c51d sound might 889862a39c reach him, 571acf3ed9 I leaned 5c4c38a6b7 back slightly, 708aeb2223 but he c016e4259c reached out 3211ef54d8 and slid 2bcea11716 the remaining 14c7affc27 glass toward 743ef26b6d me. The liquid shimmered in 4c6cc3be75 the clear glass. A sharp ad2b2165f3 alcohol smell 074a5e720a hit me.24e4c863bdd7cf49

“Drink.”0082817129ce5a76

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I’d never had abc1def337 alcohol besides beer. Hesitating at the 356cc00376 seemingly strong drink, c884c8583e he added,20ad8fd7572fb6c8

“It’ll be tough sober.”630326f502b83494

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At that, 0bd3b12284 I quickly 39eaf1033c picked up 59c5c1a422 the glass. The scent 82da19fc90 was pungent 39572f438a yet oddly 0b1f139af0 fragrant. Closing my eyes ccb2677758 tightly, I downed 263ae6d7fe it in one 311600bb5a gulp. It felt like my 9bf9b4d1fd throat was on fire, d9b1f5ed50 the burn spreading to cc013e98b6 my upper stomach. Groaning with 51b899a358 a grimace, aee5c47cd0 I must’ve 3cd62567df looked comical, 3ecdbfc1c7 as he 4fe452993b let out 7e50bde2c1 a low 5ca3742a23 chuckle. It felt like I 523cd0e01e was a spectacle. Was this 76a5da0ccd the start? As I set the 07934828f5 glass down, waiting for 0c4cae7f95 his next words, he 9a67e65b52 asked,4bc045ec87722719

“Have you had sex?”28b9065947e89856

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The startling question hit b38fc448ba me. As I’d suspected eb60f22a56 from his earlier c0f1fa2383 question in the bf92fbd677 lobby, he seemed 89154672a5 interested in me 1e87a48b0c that way. Was he gay? Did he b2a8978e64 want to… f7af9eda9a hold me c2ec23b437 like that? My mouth went dry. I tried 0853016b7a to answer 1c8706bf50 before he a61545fa1b got angry, ba5b5acfcb but he 5d6a6081e2 was quicker b9333cc112 to press.75c112facca6af4b

“Heesoo, I’m asking if you’ve ever used your dick.”b88225c48e7d7cb6

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“Uh… no.”28036f85eb5f3967

The blunt e87bbe0f95 words made 36b3549cc4 my head d0281e6199 spin. Did he have to b125a5da15 use such terms? The contrast 3418368924 between his 10a8a22e3c gentle tone 3a8011f440 and crude f318df4dbd language made 35fc04af1a the situation 8eaf77ee4e feel even 57e4ec56f7 more surreal. Shaking my head with 684cfc41d8 my answer, he crossed 69a67d096c his legs silently. Then he asked a e0b3dac40d question I never imagined 26280e47ca hearing as a man.35e10a862de4e7db

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“Then have you used a pussy?”99429420671aceea

Heat flushed 46d8e5f1a9 my face. Was he mistaking 4ca18ecb33 me for a 698689f913 woman? No, didn’t he 13e3202a6e just ask if cd52a3d654 I’d used my… 1dc6aa55d1 dick? I couldn’t tell if 4d39a6387e the question was meant 6905de556d for me, but it 39010d8802 was just the two 10dbde2bcc of us here. Was he drunk? Hesitating, I answered 2d0b133bed cautiously.656573954b9a4e9b

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“I’m a man…”e56694c100960547

Whatever was funny about 245a8aef4f that, he set down 7cb040ab15 his glass and burst 8a6a2b8920 out laughing. A joyful bb15673264 voice spilled c064fd3487 from his 77d2112780 parted lips.e1744cd6109ea37d

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“You’re really innocent.”6d24d3beceb224af

Having imagined c372d00a7c the worst—rape, 257e73d4ca murder—this situation, 5e398b4401 unfolding like 81fbd1d464 an interview 6a9f59cbc1 for a 832fdbddf9 porn actor, 6320959ec0 was simply 53a0fdb4c0 bewildering. But I couldn’t demand bfa7211f4f why he wasn’t raping 60878bcc21 me sooner. The easier this 2518d1a407 went, the higher 776bef1e70 my chances of 9f52a8860c leaving alive, so 7fdfcf4d05 I decided to 1f94d36c3c follow his lead 0137fa6667 quietly.c73da393cf833ed1

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Since it was true fc87422297 I had no sexual 5a17ebfe7a experience, I clamped my ae93c834d7 mouth shut and nodded. He spoke, his voice c83410b7be still tinged with amusement.e19bef8305af4074

“Alright, shall we start with masturbation?”296432c70855035a

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Masturbation. Was he saying b878ca3163 to do something 5ea60ed5c5 I’d only done 13be4e9c99 a few times b241cf9a88 alone, right here, 8170908f3f now? I’d braced for being cfbb9e0f31 forced, but touching myself b9272e80d1 in front of him 637ef095ac was far beyond my d49acbd3b1 expectations.86c79ac21ebed781

I knew 0643593564 I should 2918ec07d7 move quickly, 5b8ecf5e9f but my 753109b5c4 body wouldn’t f5e420505b budge. As I 03628b19da hesitated, he b36e8824e6 chuckled softly 33c7de7267 and tilted 3e1f00b045 his head. My dawdling d4d33b61e0 didn’t seem 390a13dd64 to bother 8e5c615c6f him much. Or perhaps my cbe7c45f3f humiliated state was 28fced10c2 partially satisfying his 3e60f9b10c perverse desires.3504e5dbc122636b

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“Take off your clothes and come here.”e5b603d54ff17a73

His voice b2055d4997 was still c099a54ac1 gentle, but 92ef342ea8 it carried cec72254da an undeniable f1be94903a force. Tense, I 06fb0f4078 first took 682382d9f4 off my fee068c1ef hoodie. The T-shirt underneath 0c3c0da17d rode up and 626704cfa4 fell back down. Next, I pulled down 5ef83ef868 my sweatpants.82c5b84c5edcb581

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The house e94591f5f8 was just 268ef0d719 warm enough, 9689b7f768 but my 2dcfd7b207 exposed skin 23297327ce felt as d93b963d95 cold as 8b11d9f95c if I’d 68a68c9129 been thrown 1e3d5e078c outside. It was as 85ae4b7aae if bugs were bdd58b4d0c crawling over it. Ignoring the 049f859ab7 sticky, unrelenting 8bf84ac9d2 gaze, I 18c1703f34 took off c7cc473a31 my socks. Debating whether to 5f8cb3db1f remove my T-shirt b908c75792 or underwear first, a954a4c4fe I pointlessly opted 0d1b34df21 for the shirt.5844f1a9a6e17c0d

Looking down, my body 2d191a1307 was a mess. My legs, stomach, and 8ff99aa349 chest were covered in 0aa6fcfcea bruises from Kim Jihoon’s 5649fa65f9 beating. Realizing the 971f767ee6 gravity of 38f2923524 my situation 64db703eaa anew, I 3366f28935 hooked my c6e4f2e7ed fingers into b2aaa37b5c the waistband 801158abb0 of my f8f729781d drawers. My damp, c1d56cbb28 trembling palms 49d834ff48 shook.ad2444bdc2dfefc2

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The thought that this 405c7d073b would end tonight didn’t a29a9c522f cross my mind. “Shall we 6d06d4e17d start with 6391e0e66f masturbation?” The 528fe41abf man’s words 1373fa38d7 were tantamount df03682b6f to saying 8f5c02f0d7 that what 40b8cb11b1 was about 035300917a to happen 00ed53da74 was merely e122cc052c a prelude 770254946b to the 3f4208c72e events that 9e5ac7ca9a would unfold 963a241863 in my 6ffb4fed95 future.0c54f4ede7a3d65e

Yoon Heesoo, 90172b30de just focus 797cf549e6 on surviving. Even if my a04798ffad life was shitty, 7de28d0065 I had the 47e1450427 right to end bff857d32d it on my 8beacb0974 own terms. I didn’t d5d9d6ffeb want to 86e04960c6 die here. No matter how cbeb07ccec much my life f362d4ba89 refused to bend 3ff126d2b8 to my will, 20ee541ef3 wasn’t that much 0530f2472c something I could cd962e453d hope for?249019995cf66866

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Gritting my teeth, 7e8e74f10b I took off f7528b3d0a my underwear. A chilling breeze, db35ed3b3b as if a d2e7517460 window had been 629bd57da2 opened, swept across df4c1854de my groin. My limp lower d420da5ad6 body hung pathetically. What should I do 5b988cd92e now? Biting my lip while 32765fbad3 standing there, I recalled 68b20c1af6 the man’s words again. Take off 73671fc290 your clothes 7bed5501c0 and come 0bad7a2162 here. Cautiously, I stepped 996840c9ac forward and rounded 41eea8de3f the table.13995966abcde8c1

“Come here.”cfef3cdd9dcb7c74

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The man sank deeper fcaedd81ec into the sofa, spreading d6fec8aa12 his legs. Was he 2c0fc76f30 telling me fa5cec1108 to kneel 65c92ae095 in front e2e87df487 of him c11dc2d65f or sit 52a8b14c53 on his f5a2ececd0 thigh? I wished 03d177b86b he’d be cd2d5d5d06 clearer. Just as d40fc9a121 I was 6ee48247ec about to 29092d6524 ask how c8bbb9be70 I should 241d2d020a sit, he 5a205c68a1 grabbed my 2d45cf39b2 wrist and 700f62232f pulled me 82c1a0db87 toward him. He sat b066006a51 me between 80cbe67950 his legs, 780efc68d4 pressing my 40955d0b67 upper body a47ae4816e with one be57176a29 hand so c5d39ab28d that my 050b3033e1 back rested 3e56d2c147 against his e0adfbc710 chest. My heart 8124902a2e felt like a8546cc9be it was 7f17795577 being squeezed. The breath a770b1bb30 I felt 0a9769d4b5 near my 655d296f1a ear made 05b599d7cc every blood c4879fbb9a vessel in 69fe6bdde8 my body dd5cd80ec9 shrink.ab784d0ce6d7772f

The inside of the c1830ab996 man’s thighs, pressed tightly 6ea7dc0251 against me, was as 1f1f33311c hard as steel, and e007b2098c the presence of his ac5bca52e0 erection behind my back b131a08786 was unbelievably overwhelming. His large hand 827f9027dc paused over my 028666dfd5 heart. The man’s upper 535d6f42d0 body, flush against d1a713b91a my back, was b1ec575eea utterly still, but 1dcd7ed7ab my chest heaved 0d257facd1 rapidly. The pounding of my aa39bb1b81 heart seemed loud enough 457068250d for him to hear.ea6ecdabc302a833

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“Don’t be ad3c64cda9 too scared. It’s not difficult.”5fc4df31138224bb

His gentle d466fcd50f whisper only b8ae415d90 doubled my e21776c15e tension. As if to soothe 3ae72924b0 me, he made a 9c6b0e529f soft shushing sound, like aebad0ee1b air escaping, and comforted 257d4e35ad me. I could feel my 0917d43461 cold skin gradually warming, 146eb7836f as if his body c54fed0848 heat was transferring to 4e218fbe7a me. Holding me 72298d41c2 from behind, af9993d29f he spoke.285fbe35a26c2bfb

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“Beomjun, the mirror.”1b9e834a047f6c9d

Turning my a3c297c54c head at 6531ce1e66 his voice, d2cd46e5ae I saw d5817babec Chae Beomjun ee9a9f1d42 standing at 4a80768dd0 the hallway cf74e744da entrance, unnoticed 1787a150d1 until now. I turned away 9f51ecb1eb before our eyes 478b6afde0 could meet, but 3cc4da314f the thought that 020438d8bf Chae Beomjun, that 517014dc07 man, had seen 85cc5b14d2 my body made 27957c30a7 my ears burn. Hoping he’d pretend not a03d8a128b to notice, I kept ae2b0bbc2e my eyes lowered and 0e9582ec43 stayed still.c46d35305884569b

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After a short 213bb00548 time, when I 1b761e9682 opened my eyes 6ea42964f2 at the touch 3f247b9419 of fingers tapping 35ce66737a my cheek, a ce03ffa74e massive mirror reflecting e1fbee1c37 me and the 4bdacaa9db man had been f9f52aca23 placed where I’d 17bdb41647 been sitting.a1a6117679cdaac6

The spotless e51a357f80 surface reflected 9d0b54a76c my humiliating 4907f70151 state. The man, holding a8943090be me in his d538e73119 arms like a aea35e9499 doll, wore a 8771169c7e subtle smile. He moved the c460c275eb fingers still lingering 8a767a185c on my cheek. A smooth motion, a163280082 so slick it 98d4392174 felt like I 1a20f95a3c heard a slithering 506a92ba80 sound, like a 4a58bea00a snake gliding.f5d42d1e34bee256

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“Your pretty body… c83895695a it’s all messed 7dcccedd04 up.”c69e7daa1caa6074

His soft ae299b6fc9 whisper carried 8c4fb71af3 a hint 522499d570 of regret. His long fingers 2fdf311028 traced the bruises 228cd09c83 on my sides 00ea40c10d and ribs. At the same 5c2efffacf time, he buried a363e8f730 his face deep a37c802e4e in the nape 3026706866 of my neck. His inhaling 172076adc7 and exhaling 952293bdeb breaths felt e83e015762 damp and 35ffdfb7d2 sticky.048bd49ad8ca86ac

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Shivers rippled 45766ced3b across my 08b54f9a6f skin like 195427a1a0 waves, and 6edf00166e I turned 658e6ae284 my gaze 79f98045d1 away from e3edb626bf the mirror. “No,” he 51a813f906 chided sharply, ef3f9b8d3e grabbing my 4c227adbc3 chin to 00a0f09d94 force me be88c9a725 to face 67128e2fd1 forward again. Meeting the 6326f98cce man’s eyes 3adb0c2e81 in the b6a26638b1 mirror, I 1e476b3168 heard a 4025b0f2b8 deeper, scolding 120066eca2 voice.d3b1fbeadb763d74

“You have to look 0cc143ebee properly. Heesoo, if you don’t 04ad788a3a listen, you’ll be punished.”31ce948c7dd4f2d7

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“Yes…”c9f7b9eaa1757625

He called 9ba3d3966f my name 4d710d37af with such 8fb3c8d165 familiarity. The word “punished” stuck 0b46e604ca in my mind, and b9eb9104ca I started to apologize, d64c62e959 adding, “I’m sorry.” He ee39976385 squinted one eye and 66c0bb87ed smiled. His wet lips 2c20f864fe brushed my earlobe.201478e1573ef29d

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“Smart boy.”63c3ffa57adf3ce5

The praise seemed to 312d926fcb ease the tension gripping 46ae5c0b09 me slightly. I let out a 604eeb0308 thin breath and leaned 18eff475e4 my upper body more ee72ccba0a comfortably against him. It felt 160bf31ed6 like the 943b749b08 only way 68cf641b73 to actively ef7c07b4c4 accept this aba10ceea0 situation.1a054271f2762b84

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He’d told me 4a48d0088f to masturbate, but f8941dd37c his touch lingered e686c1a567 on my body fe1fb8117b for a long f63cff5c14 time. Purple skin, 1b1935452e bluish bruises, 1c93a83d14 reddened thighs—each 70ded3fe0d time his 96dd534bfe thick fingertips 839359be29 grazed them, efc726263f my tongue 254f6fc7b8 curled inward. It was 11f57a5075 a strange 8aab9c8336 feeling. The excitement 70df9e6ab4 born from 0379b678d4 fear and 062906342f dread began 38b5eeea68 to twist.b2e857ca865595e5

“Hnng…”181f209bb58a1f72

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His hand gripped 2beb217789 my penis. The sensation of bf99b2dc17 him kneading my 87bf39e622 balls and shaft 3d4e1854da in one hand b5b11bb640 made my insides 54a1ac4d9a tingle. It was aef6d79cfe an unfamiliar 6165f0d933 sensation, an 037cc2a44f instinct overriding 806d2bd56d reason. I bit my tongue 4edd65084c to suppress any sounds 6b99ec92db and endured his touch.c66ad73a56002492

“Heesoo, why’s it fd1dc797d5 so bare?”a516a7a6ee0ce8fb

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After a f4deb96712 while, he 729a5056ec let go e221ef73a6 of my 115364efce now-erect penis 1c7929a88c and asked. “Bare,” the blunt word c821ac889e choice made my mouth 7bdb8c784a heat up again. Rolling my tongue, I fdd1efef17 managed to answer.8c656f0a10b50eab

“I don’t know, it 6703042284 just… doesn’t grow hair…”7a06218f852de647

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He let d891cfbed7 out a 255543e32c low chuckle. “No beard either… such 84617ec9e2 a baby,” he muttered, 75dab76b27 taking my hand and 216c3ddb00 guiding it to my bcc839cd1e penis. What had seemed 3a99c67717 endlessly small in 6edefb47fa his grip looked bd73b3e888 sizable in my 440c4804e9 own. The difference 53a8cb10d3 in hand 9430f29a4b size was 0cfcbb97e8 that stark.85ce080585ddabf7

I took a 2ee05d1b9a deep breath, holding 8850233334 my now-limp penis. As if e147dca3e3 urging me, 396c45501a he lightly 81fa1120c1 shook my 18a25a2d16 wrist while 9fb271144c gripping it. Though he let go f341ea3ebd quickly, it was a 21982b9dde silent threat not to 90359c0cd8 dawdle, so I had e904d4c0f4 to keep moving my 873c8e6a92 arm without stopping.a38c6680260829d0

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My palm was damp. The fear and f5de39e71e dread I’d tried 1fd71dd013 to suppress were dd3498e4d9 creeping back. His overly kind demeanor, c4cb9746a7 treating me like a 05c6c0d87c child, could turn at 09a972c8da any moment. It felt 2f7b353113 like masturbating 6b6607bb28 on a 7e85a0b236 sinking raft 3d3d640554 doomed to 4f66187611 sink. There was no 7d7c14f3af way I could 8ec21262a7 get it up.a8c5b2950e4c9270

The man in 3b3f48e4d4 the mirror stared 40a2a3bf9e piercingly at me. He watched me, d34dad35b2 lips pursed, struggling 6b7025caa5 to get my 8c402c0754 flaccid penis erect, 3d205475f4 as if I 37c7c86ebe were a rare ba0d523b39 spectacle. But even after a 733bd9bd67 long time, it showed 3d2d6c848d no sign of hardening.74640568eeff395b

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Growing anxious, I gripped bc75d9bacb harder, but it was 44b517fede no use. The thought that he a84f406630 might lose interest in 54d77c2b4c my boring performance and f8dc4d9a90 hit or kill me 367cc6a676 only made me tremble ff45bcbf34 more.0707b4e1eec27ab1

“Why are you shaking 15ed7816a2 so much?”eec2cb893c9f7ce8

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Fortunately, it 05b5dbf6ec seemed he afc7f82177 had no a58fc49cad immediate plans fcbedd14c2 to kill 4a9bfa6c00 me. He murmured softly, 98621a133f then wrapped one 5a62e28e63 arm around my 9c06804d0d waist, pulling me 02ebdbe886 closer. His hand gently 529dd48785 stroked my side, da97a7548b as if soothing 6184cee142 a crying child. Absurdly, it worked. My trembling lips 64ef42d552 calmed. Emboldened by his 3e7f65daba comforting, I confessed 90139445da honestly.081307ad0fd2342c

“I… can’t do 584024f783 it well…”d4718df589d3b828

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My voice crawled out. The shameful admission 982f841ed5 of being twenty fe5efaab64 and unable to 2b8511aee8 masturbate properly must’ve 23ce41c148 been amusing, as 0d36c1e7b2 he raised the 4018f15331 corner of his 46d52d0169 mouth in a dcad12ae1b smile. But his cold, white-eyed 8f44731725 gaze scrutinized me. A chill ran f3d3a51514 down my spine. Had I messed b04a6fa89e up? Should I have a198ea3bbb found a way 84dbfd4fb0 to ejaculate? I was 8d9449ac43 regretting speaking eb1f2d2a46 when he 238832a9d0 said,fe6970370e8a0e25

“You’re young, so fed3e43a7f it takes a c0f28cded4 lot of work.”b74579ae0bb46877

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With that, 499b2dd720 he wrapped 69d164d9ab both arms 8bfa3f418d around me a1ee6c3600 like a 9280b26b60 snake. Gripping my penis as 9606215d3b before, his other hand 9968c35f36 teased my chest. The stimulation of 5d00cbaa63 a part I’d 506eb9f89f never considered sexually 5c77cec799 as a man bd6cc098f6 was profoundly shocking. He pinched 91a46acf4a my nipple 8a876e4dc6 with two fb39d8d0b8 fingers, crushing aca28aaf78 it. A faint 5a0546ae2e pain mixed 9f5886b756 with clumsy ab78383741 excitement began 7dd84f2876 to build.c802ab616dd8a522

“Hng, ugh.”252b6453ef21efb0

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Heat surged rapidly. The sensation spreading from 18a6c37fdf my areola reached deep 5554d5cec1 inside. He let out a 3a73cd3ea2 pleased chuckle, stroking my a8ca4939c7 penis. Curling his thumb e907560e5a and forefinger around a165325b14 the glans and 94fbcf4f1b shaking it, my 2829ea9223 penis began to 4dc11f4888 harden, as if 368eaab9ef the earlier humiliation 85940da951 was a lie. At the same 8a31c89594 time, I felt 93541726ac his erection pressing b22f60fc6b against my back, 330ce7473c rising roughly.1a8be548964ec5e7

“Ah… hngh!”8f96db73545aaa39

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The me 700b339977 in the 7a86dcdd7a mirror moaned 617d4f08f0 unfamiliarly, and dfa0a4f735 my pale 0c6d60cb38 body flushed 647bf2bb4e red in 80df94cca3 patches. My colorful, stained body e963e0d140 now looked like a e381b4656e palette. Each time he pinched 101716246d my nipple, my hips ce37d893d2 jerked, and my toes a9156155f3 curled. He tightly 3205002053 held my e2b9ea64f5 slumping body, ceba8f40e6 sliding his 0890be5163 foot between a540ac5d0f my legs cbc97647c8 to spread 34e09d5002 them, exposing b55dcb6807 my groin 3eaaff1fd5 shamelessly.30fc0fca92f10466

The mirror reflected my 7cf6182f99 pink penis and balls, f7f4ba3b3f my lower body displayed 84a6d5bbc7 lewdly. His hand, pressing c3d5fa0aa9 and shaking my ef8b3ee0bd penis, moved with b763017960 relentless precision, as ca9586c7ba if determined to 3caae2082c see me lose 99166777c9 myself in pleasure. A fierce 471f8baede wave of 49deaa8b8b ejaculation surged.129e36ebd110aacf

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“Ugh, I, ah…! Wait, just… ahh!”9936311b8c40de0b

Unsure if I 7ed2740c68 could release in 654a7c17b1 his hand, I c243960829 tried to ask ce0dbe8e74 him to stop, d22b214842 but I couldn’t 37dcc2c8f2 form words. I bit 2c7affc8d8 my lip dcfd9ea8fd to hold 13943964a9 back, tears a68acd0437 welling from f95e8d8c96 the pain a73137f4e2 outweighing the a9983e3c6c pleasure.432ac7991283b248

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My nipples, already db35fd4354 swollen from his c13632fbf6 rough caresses, weren’t e72a1698df enough for him. He gathered my c4b22cefca flat chest as 0f161cb5d6 if squeezing it, 5aa076b435 then slipped his 175ea1e827 tongue into my d97770043b ear. Tilting his a971048672 head to a180b38183 meet my a299cb7a9f eyes in bb87a91c2c the mirror, 9f1180ba57 he swirled cbbed3d32a his tongue, bc3cc90d5e producing wet dc7da9e1bb noises at 0ec20de42d my earlobe.138f440b110fb34f

The brimming pleasure 9ccb89406a was on the e18a979087 verge of bursting. I grabbed his b9d8d2d75b wrist, rubbing my 629243f04c chest, and shook 1a9fb1975a my head, but 616e6f940f he didn’t stop. Nibbling my earlobe and ceaa8cf3e2 kissing me, he prodded 1691c846a4 the slick urethra with 263d6889bd his fingertip.1e1b01525d76c23e

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In that 6e41c50314 moment, ah.359e70139ceca26c

“Sorry… ugh, 47a90f0caf hng… I’m 07d6ecb199 sorry…”5b059a454050b28a

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The milky fluid that c1f793bb66 gushed out clung to 511db843bd his fingers. The pungent smell stung 7c30d3ef63 my nose, reigniting the cbd258ca01 heat I thought couldn’t f30ee0c3c4 rise further. Lost in endless shame, 807b2e3a0e I didn’t notice my 3dd458a9bc mind turning to ash. He casually rubbed my c9b0f4ad6a semen-smeared penis with his cfba68c85f stained hand. The smooth 0d1682b5ce texture grew ce54307f25 slicker. Realizing this wasn’t the d50b6ed65a end, a bleak feeling b76ecf6234 hit me as he e8fb65d229 tapped under my eyes 9e60f1ae96 with his other fingertip.8cdc4c49d4489506

“Heesoo, your cheeks turn a673c2da3b red when you’re aroused.”b5c9e58882008c45

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As he 6e37fceeaf said, my c452f1503b cheeks below 479332fbd1 my eyes 5fd568bbdf were flushed a5fc563830 like a ac9da8ad79 matryoshka doll. It was 318699900a a face ba43752801 even I 41ed0bef38 hadn’t seen. His fingers, 343ca00c9f leaving my 9f770ffa07 cheek, now 608d5ca017 circled my 43af93141f shoulder. “Here too,” 4c48e7c210 he whispered 0d5aaf0149 low, his 98e12e19fc other hand, 124f564fcf toying with 106b7bcc39 my penis, 2e95a626dc gripping harder. “Here too, and…”c0cc846a3983f825

“Your hole must 7103456d28 be red too.”52a2d619e4b52750

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His voice, 2d374789d4 tinged with 1bd29d4f3e delight, seemed ba90d3597d to lose a91785f0fb its calm. The presence 81452c0219 of his d01247a35f erection, pulsing ed64dd0f99 behind me, 4c409ea1a8 came back 146487c952 vividly. His penis 7624f73ccb was unbelievably f03942033f massive. My breath caught. The fear that he’d 8af8d394aa pierce me from below d3a625fda4 made my blood run 06020a0ded cold. Sensing my change, b88848d2d9 he quickly shushed 9e8424b9e7 me, whispering soothingly.4d208a59e621c7ad

“It’s okay, not today, 20a1e40c35 so don’t worry.”a2608d8c9e69db50

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And true to ddf736019d his word, he 4f8138d5f3 didn’t penetrate me b93631d0a3 that day. He only gripped 0a11e68fc2 and shook my 9c9086215a penis, wringing out 75e83156bb semen until I 38b00966e5 wanted to beg 1b33df3072 him to stop, a1561fdb09 and then wrung 80a02e2661 it out again.381754adc2fc33b7

It was 696e867c3f an exhausting 66b7e72e66 night. Even after 61afebcd13 my glans 09259e4a1c swelled red, 9095f7e32d as if 92e5eec977 it might 40c4ca1b14 bleed, he 9e8960e847 didn’t let e7a6e2b5f2 me go. The pain was 8536dc8b96 so intense I c0de4f3732 thought my skin 254cfded81 might peel, and 14dae1f394 only when I e7e93414e4 could no longer 5a25305f2e get erect from 59b991950b the agony did 3bf87bf67b his perverse acts ff5d724e64 cease.a01d536c9ca8f4d1

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He led 0fcac4a5d5 my staggering, 90fb534216 weak-legged self 594f1e3b45 to a 0c93da88c6 room at 99598600c8 the end 6308233d52 of the 75ea64b465 hallway. The luxurious guest room, f0ca2d3469 with a bathroom as e4d1c2bea8 large as my dorm 5072143dc4 and five times its fb2233fdfd size, felt extravagant. My worry that he’d 5ad3091003 lock me in a 1df423428e bathroom was overshadowed by c5131e2de7 such lavish treatment. I wanted 9a43941715 to ask ff0d2f5c75 if I 601e4810e1 could really e49f06e57f sleep here, f5b50b8b04 but he c46838c632 gently brushed a4e331244a my hair, 0fe120cdf9 said, “Good b5df0608f6 night,” and fa2d9a76df left.bc9c48f5d3d71400

I stood 7c6520606f in the 0509c2f931 bathroom with b806f7c8e3 the water 73d7152efa running for 5be08edb6d an hour. I didn’t cry. I simply lacked a1507fcb15 the strength to 1044034c1a move. I was f53049662f physically and 2353ccedb6 mentally drained. After a while, e4d9bdb226 I lay on cbf6f14af0 the bed, but 781522cbbb sleep wouldn’t come. Intense memories 39c1ee7fe2 from the c324330c14 short time 60ffc624cf flooded me.4a678dbdd1da6c62

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And so, 5a518dc26a I had bce8058e4a a nightmare.f806077e357de224

In the 66b9c52d6e dream, I 65c07dd669 was naked, f322e0ae2b cradled in c1f45a8326 the man’s 0c372ddf8c arms, surrendering 6b34cc3da5 my body 51a8d94a09 to him, d8f83a36d8 while Kim 1c86297582 Jihoon, his ce417dbeee head crushed, d01d43f934 beat me. Blood poured and brain 2ca94bc530 matter oozed with his 6f1d762f12 every move. It was a 35a528683a dream, so I d38f302907 felt no pain, cc84823257 but the foul f43f4248e6 stench of blood a2d93ab761 made me nauseous. After trembling and 1ceb34f79e ejaculating under the 6d8b1f0773 man’s touch, he 04aa0d1f33 swung his hand 23a667ac4f at me, as 60e5cfd5c2 he had at 80226b43f0 Kim Jihoon. “Heesoo,” he called gently, 284e099c5c and my head shattered, cdf0168da8 waking me.69c0bf7ede7a126c

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“…Ah.”26ffa605ed9091e7

Sunlight stabbed my 47644af903 eyes. Sitting up, the blanket 8dbf5ee4f9 covering me to my 1cbc38cae2 neck slid down softly. Awakening, I was momentarily ba4421cdea speechless at the room’s 3db31eb36f view, which I hadn’t 598e06ad35 noticed at night.28b8625726f9736f

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One wall was entirely ca9fa47666 glass. The city below 141231235f the large window 7ab4048ed9 was blanketed in 90874f554a white. It had snowed 9f7acb192c overnight. Seeing it, something welled 0fbd031907 up inside, but I 712269c167 bit my lip and 051f28af1a held back tears. It was just 59e218fd75 another birthday with f345fd1826 nothing to expect. I didn’t 7bea512b76 want to cc62921ccb cry over 1c3f0d94db something so 72ab83dcdd trivial.057ae1a55fd76f04

I got a7b8331dc8 out of 9e753fc899 bed, went 19c2b0e56b to the b8dce58623 bathroom, and 6adbfd391c showered. Exhaustion from 1469c7f2b5 sleeplessness lingered, d64dda835e but my 821341826e face, protected 9e2bdd8c90 by the 594cb6018d helmet, was 8d8ae2ef02 unscathed. My body, c823e2eec8 however, was f0da79c89f worse than 327f0d79ea yesterday. The heat 7c2378adbd had faded, fa28e3fe31 leaving pale 5ae2fec200 skin covered a01b80a367 in dark, 860c60e6ab bluish bruises. Turning, I db3f7faf8a saw my 09494bed2f back was 890cc97928 a mess f64f661575 too. It’d take at least 5857f792bb a week to heal.393e00b128f83578

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Drying off 8a4c54ea5a and stepping d124125baa out, I acc981945d realized I ec165821f1 had no de581d55fe clothes to b759be86aa change into. What should 08db1927e2 I do? Wear what 8d752970c6 I had 74a06c5870 on? Or a robe? Was I even allowed d3297fb959 to leave the room?ac742d9e20e65fe8

While pondering eaaedd9317 and scanning 619454883d the room, 488cc26c3e I noticed 007d39a6a3 clothes on d59bf61883 the nightstand. I didn’t know 041f4af014 if they were c6f59c1c13 left while I 5d2b334b6f showered or before 71942cbfff I woke, but 2ce9d0803e they seemed meant 23fc90d575 for me. The cream-colored round-neck 887667dd43 tee and pants 5e742feb00 fit perfectly.47dc1111373e2acb

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After dressing, 52ac8779e8 I deliberated a390236632 for a 15d6facead long time.a295fcd8e83589b4

Should I stay b6751c2885 in the room? Was it okay c31daead23 to go out? I was 0a4cef8b33 hungry—would they e1dba10e27 feed me? Was that too much 4c72b3fbe0 to hope for? Should I e6010638b2 prepare to c3877b6826 go hungry? Then a thought 88b728cd0c struck me. It might be 4945fff4cd a leap, but 46ae49331d given the man’s 79a50e7374 behavior yesterday, he 3462b8f97d didn’t seem likely 0f26c2b5af to suddenly kill e2381f0016 me.0e5c0bd71f0faba2

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His words 9a04649d12 implied as f9e6405390 much. If he planned e9a965faf2 to rape and dfa953e973 kill me, he f379998457 wouldn’t have said, d95ed16d75 “Shall we start e1e02364e1 with masturbation?” But 87482afd75 recalling Kim Jihoon’s a47c4bbb5e state brought inevitable 0f15f5cd06 fear. Holding my e716624214 forehead, I 6ca6a44a3d cautiously opened a3ef450986 the door.3a259dd22b44e2de

Unlike my dorm’s creaking bccaa3af3a hinges, it opened smoothly. I peeked through cc6b6fdc26 the gap. No signs of life. Gathering courage, 714ac50a34 I took 1e5e839be0 a few 37408ebf92 more steps. Two more 8146ca2120 doors lined d796194968 the path 0a2ea7fbad to the dc739c6c56 living room. Holding my breath and bf73bc14af straining my ears, I b814fdae03 heard nothing. My heart pounded. Was he gone? I thought 737bf2be6e I should 21194b3ba0 escape if ee3a812610 I got a79a4efaf6 the chance.f284f7a7a757f848

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“Hello…?”3945fc6e21b7db36

I called softly, 460f952afe but no reply a734625e54 came. The living room, with 4022091d7b the mirror removed, was 49fd54ba3b empty, and all I 1d6d79521d heard was my instinct c4b07d19a0 screaming to flee this a84e025d41 house. Just in case, bcebdd0cb2 I approached the a94c849491 door the man a4fe1d3043 had disappeared behind 4fb406cc82 and turned the d6ff3aaa48 knob. It didn’t budge. I knocked, de64bb94c1 but no 81dd22d718 answer.ab7863b4dc968ee4

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My palms grew 7e3e7f03e8 sweaty. Swallowing dryly, 6e473e6a9c I headed d772e1d871 to the f85084a1ad entrance. The unguarded front 480eb5bbad door came into 09291cfe94 view. I quickly 083d65a44c looked for dae63c961a my shoes, ba085a4c6c but they 14a4f6f685 were either 8c8231749c hidden or a56a8c4d5b discarded, so 2e7d678b77 I stepped c4c1b7732e onto the 47b6c45766 tiles barefoot. A chill from the 38bda13a98 cold surface crept up, a7d37fcd02 but it didn’t matter. January 2nd, the outside 5f465b5e5c cold would persist, but 7d9aa5505c if I could escape, a7f27f7e3b the cold was irrelevant.7a539918271ac44d

I gripped the doorknob.6cad27cb7c590d2f

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Turned it.261dba9b655b29e5

It opened.553296aa9debec29

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Thud,cf5a69fd546858da

“….”4a36f1faf81dfc75

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Someone stood ec94168ccd blocking the 7d123df798 door. My racing 8cba04df64 heart crashed 1f07f0645a to the 3caee403a1 floor. My insides felt 4321c83390 like they were 596d7cedbe spilling out as c0ec9e1cde I looked up. A menacing man, who c18927c604 looked capable of killing 3c6c6ef6d7 with his glare, stared 39724738fb down at me.ef1c56dfd7d344ed

“Go back inside.”20980ab4421ad890

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I was trapped.3beed809d9a6679f

“Yes…”07bc4951a4871d30

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I bowed and fe51d12199 closed the door.51fc88d2bc9db416

Returning to the 0cc903a40a room, I curled f7ad1c61f3 up in the 7e3079f219 blankets. I was thoroughly 5b4ac909dc trapped. The hope bbb10c3e9e that had ce72ecb893 briefly swelled f35f6bcd3d shattered with 23135997b2 a dying a434164ffa scream. Sighing, I organized my 5d7078ac6e thoughts. It was expected. Having braced for death, 41a2850b4e there was no reason 4b922f9fa5 to despair over mere 957a130205 confinement. I was 46a9291dc0 lucky not dfcbe788f6 to have b50dac7e7b ended up 8de11a67fb like Kim 2af83f0b07 Jihoon yesterday. Then a suspicion arose.a1daa2f40010161f

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Was Kim Jihoon really 9887860526 dead?7fb4f3ceeedbb872

He’d hit 7b0f2633dd his head 7406c97209 on the af2ded42a8 wall’s edge, d28422720b bleeding as 96c872c1d5 he fell. The last 0c5d8ba3d3 I saw, 80416d0e4d he was 8beceb1337 convulsing, eyes 70bd21a144 rolled back. Was that a sign d1dd248f77 of death or life? After the man f8855f052c took me inside 213ac5ec26 and went back 5d3fc5d482 out, was the 38c7c31080 watermelon-crushing sound really 5a2e56c439 Kim Jihoon’s head 97a3a37c09 breaking? Was the 7dc8c2a22d thud and 49520deeef rolling noise a71279607d from a ace4499194 fire extinguisher?a90f7fbfb3a66bfb

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Did that 12d36a2162 man really bec8f0a53f kill Kim 64b3f29a76 Jihoon?d493d1b8480b4af8

“Don’t be 5130439657 too scared.”650f7cb021583aea

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“Heesoo.”864dfd42265c2b26

“Why are you shaking 60ce8b3469 so much?”e45e474d59c4d037

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“Good night.”152734a24e540e4b

The man’s voice, 80a3134899 vividly recalled, was d9f6c45110 infinitely gentle. If recorded and played 07596b31dd for someone, they’d ask 4d375fdd30 if he was speaking f0d5ad7785 to a lover—so tender 3de764204d it softened the heart. His smiling d8be02f3fd face didn’t 03831643e3 fit the ab914d696f label of 8e522dde80 a murderer.6116ce00decbd0a4

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“Damn it.”0233411680537cfb

…Not a murderer? That didn’t erase what ebef9a9c11 happened yesterday, so why b8dbfba3b6 was I even thinking 23501d052c this? I felt so 6ae9d058ed pathetic that I 482e4a4b01 laughed. Pulling down 379a449181 the blanket d94970a2ca I’d covered 6e3b629827 myself with, 729ba12070 I cooled 3a29a420a5 my sweaty 55e2dd2da0 forehead and f6eb686ec5 thought.e934f9da065e350b

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How much more 7b2a4a7006 of this was 5d408aa7bf left?223fc7883128b5ec

At eighteen, the cf97e13167 onslaught of misfortune 10a7e6c6b2 began with my 63e67655da father’s company bankruptcy 988292edd3 and showed no 20119a943c signs of ending. A month after the b95391a8b1 collapse, my father fled acb6963186 overseas, leaving me and 8fd223e183 my mother. My mistake 5e1a635c5d then was d41d59ec17 not acting 351451a8ba immediately despite afb58194c0 knowing the 5b1123c4a3 crisis. I should’ve secured 59e0889d2e my survival, but 5e4fb3b18f foolishly, I did 79e11a3341 nothing.561bb31bd4c7f0d3

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A month after my 55c866eeda father left, my mother, fa63b0bde6 swayed by the host a7c4a14016 she treated like a 9c192c398f lover, withdrew the savings b0fcdc0db4 in my name and 5c15e83902 vanished with the money. My mistake was believing 32aa3da203 a mother who never d7bcb9cd2c cared for me would f7f91a5787 protect me. The price of 44cad1ee2c trusting blood was 9e16124979 an empty account 0df953549f and an outrageous c7e0526a74 high-interest loan contract.1d1fd90eac1279c7

It’s the kind ebeb7de40d of story that d1e0d723fe would enrage people 1913399636 if it hit 1802f4f502 the news, condemning 1c7a85e119 such despicable humans. But digging df152ed87c deeper, their d5c20d1534 escape had 0aacdb9afa valid reasons. My parents 4314278dfe were a 64b9551b93 show-window couple, 187e3e5f5e changing lovers 8f2e0d2594 frequently. I was 7749e4adf3 likely the b67f450370 son of c2677c00a0 one of 307e300b5c the hosts 9d32ad0a54 my mother be3f4b4369 frequented in 363fe04b29 her youth.204e5a39c762be4f

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My father 7b2539f6ce was type 1b44b8f0e1 O, but 0f93b533a4 I’m AB, 794fce8f56 and he b47614dc4f openly disliked a8ef3270f0 me. Why he fb70d9ddcc didn’t divorce 1273514577 my mother 1d3bf74648 or why 37aa439815 he put e0fbcb1637 me on 6e9118c648 his registry fd02de6f22 is now 75f66f9d80 unknowable, but fd6c6b4456 that’s how 13c5853881 it was.ef67aa7e4d026543

If I were 275c9182b3 him, I’d have 6e25b74e4f fled too. To avoid 16435cd8f8 prison, he 556a0d8f1a had to bc635b3dc1 leave Korea, 57e6d8a8d9 and taking 534b4ebcad a child fbcac65d2e with no d318fd4f26 blood relation d6e02d176e was something de74a0058d only a 568505de52 sanctimonious fool cf5fe7519b would do. My father wasn’t a822f7ed91 that kind of 9577624c7a fool.57b549057fac32b0

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So why did my 3b37e637c4 mother, who shared my d29e115936 blood, leave me? That question was easier 36beb6edbb to answer than my e968330a6c father’s case.1b125386ed3a58e7

She was obsessed with dfbddadb0b men. Whether my father or 92fc9b1ed1 I were there or 478a81e133 not, she brought her e1fa08cece lovers home, and I b608b0ed7a grew disillusioned hearing the 92864b6353 animalistic moans of men 61911d2eeb and women through thick 8ce3db0d81 doors and walls.2342e51702b78d58

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Why did I think 52d6680c20 that woman would act a2cf27fb01 as my guardian? I couldn’t bear how 5227ed998e pathetic I was for 7c4833c4c3 expecting anything from such 69273436de a parent.8c60eb2c638c1838

Turning to 4e532cf902 lie down, 551e310e5d I gazed 2782d841e5 out the 1eda21faf7 snowy window 37a8170071 and thought.cf3838e53418b1ba

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It was time 997c00db24 to find the 4c22418c8f reason these shitty b650b24fd1 things kept happening 3d2b3b7f75 to me. There had f665fda77e to be f1ec897b9e a mistake 29d68b7b0f I made 615e9c2135 somewhere. If I didn’t 366dfdc242 figure it out, 8c5a89ea59 I might repeat 7515f7de07 the same error ea42431645 and end up 8649769c33 in a similar 3333d8e3be situation. To prevent that 194494f781 misfortune, I mulled bd11f7a399 over yesterday, chewing a1e515f11e it over repeatedly.547ffd0b27d1d6c6

When I finally found 44bb47919d a plausible reason, darkness dc95a1fd6f had settled outside. Yes, the 5eab1e4462 problem was bd2eb59c57 climbing to 907819ade2 the forty-third 339653cdee floor despite b91eae228b knowing Kim 2051849757 Jihoon was fe7d0abdb6 persistent.c13d2e0299c80895

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I should’ve considered e118355618 that innocent people 07b0c4c152 could get hurt. If I’d 840d414e7c settled things 9028af5a38 with Kim 87466c9505 Jihoon on 569456d034 the fortieth 6757a7aedb floor, the 6a8c63383e forty-third-floor man 32ec581259 wouldn’t have a684f10879 done that c684b4af19 to him. Then there’d ce75be50be have been a994c13be7 no need 684467c9dd to lock 4875b39b35 me, a 154bd3ca04 witness, in 4b7372f0f6 his house. Even if b8c878da2e I’d been 6233d40f6c beaten more, 2ede229658 I, alone 2b3ae62740 on the c8e8bb36c0 forty-third floor, 22038d0440 would’ve delivered e16f516e7f the cigarettes, b761748c9d gotten paid, 549875862f and returned 823f77f694 to the 511fdbed44 office.2c1582f0d5c4673d

I overlooked Kim Jihoon’s f09c9ac551 obsession with me. That was why this 49771a7f5b misfortune befell me. It was b6cbfa481c all my 116011e645 fault. Acknowledging this, d3a7a99650 I vowed b24bdcadcb to deal f100517430 with clingy 5c67f522c5 bastards on 0d951a53f2 the spot 0a0c27dc43 next time.a478b8f8d6e4d26d

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I vowed…45e3ff7193b6f895

Damn it. Suddenly, I 74702e8fc1 felt so 23015fe512 wronged that 9d6885fdc0 tears welled 312d8c0c60 up.64dfda3ab01763b4

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No matter how you 9434a942fd sliced it, it was 717bc818f8 all nonsense. Kim Jihoon 1bcdebd614 hating me ebec7dfdf9 wasn’t my 6504bbe251 fault. I’d never 6065524b71 done anything 56ca229187 to provoke 242d58a453 such intense 698cc08934 loathing. Being beaten, him 6f9cb54300 chasing me to 788be755c7 the forty-third floor, d5d12b7cd0 and what happened e25e6a37bb to him at 26e5ea3298 the hands of d6ba131c2b that man—none of a8394e3e8d it was my ccf2f2e334 fault.4963e49f9f851b46

Yet, I 32275cccdb was the e1e2e80bd2 one locked b76ad9b544 in this 8c7f34370d house, punished.8f7ee0c4032900bd

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Why do 29e51cf7d6 these things 8357e503fa keep happening 364a1d6468 to me? Why must I 78b9fb4634 be punished without 299a9792b4 having done anything cef7fc6157 wrong? Why am 96289ccc34 I the 0181f3fea5 only one d742ca2ae0 forced to 8bd8d12dfd kneel under bb1cf4249c endless misfortune? Asking unanswerable 5cb80c1fdc questions only 4df5df033b tormented me.30ec8ed86ebf1e8d

So I 55ebc560d5 blamed everything a191abbdf4 on myself. A misfortune with a 6c5c6d83c9 reason wore a person 246d852bd5 down less than one cf8cf9d6c4 without.c0f79d61c8269c35

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But today, that 3646fb06f8 was incredibly hard. There was no promise cfb4a40dc6 of when this miserable, e3a596be24 pathetic situation would end. Was I such a d43ba5b589 worthless being that I 458ed1ca2b had to live and 7d6780570f die like this forever?df07ed15a0bdadd3

If this e060a4f9ac was my 1d2536403d fate, why a6f851bfbd was I 6c66ef254e even born?771bfd2ea763707d

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With pessimistic thoughts, the a23e10a6a6 tears that had been 9a70f23442 rising began to surge d72395cd76 like waves. The harder fe857c9e14 I tried 95488bfdc9 to hold d0ce38bd9e them back, e526cac493 the greater 2e211d0ad2 the sorrow 81cea3a38f that leaked 04dbc04afd out.2e96dd43ca0652f1

Realizing no 8240a8ac5b one was a2457c6bac in the b341f76c6c house, I b5800358a3 let myself 1c5cddab96 cry aloud. Even as a child, 0a1e207e2f when my parents abandoned 7b34a2100f me, when I realized 255367f3fd I was practically a 0a7c9f7c9d slave to my boss 538348b3b7 due to a shady e1e52cff03 contract, or when I 717514fdb7 was beaten by the 32d7bd00b5 boss for no reason cc9e38b494 and lay sick for 4f910e1a28 a week, I hadn’t 896ecae994 cried this bitterly. But once 0461808f38 the tears 6ec16edb59 broke free, 480c277da2 they poured 919e230b49 out more e142c438aa mournfully, as 8f974e1e9d if demanding d219efc143 compensation for c4584d0e20 all my 5cafa099a5 past endurance.06db323eb67ea8c6

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“Heesoo, how d094bcb3ab can you 1122c502f2 be so 1c16ca76d6 noisy at 2804fc68f3 night?”547cd46a5ac474ee

The voice that suddenly 29b6b8659b cut through stopped my c11d75c71b crying. Swallowing my sobs, 84cfd6019a I turned to 082a592554 see a figure 879fbf1f4e at the doorway dee45993c1 through blurry vision. The man approached silently. Dressed in black like b843335a38 a grim reaper, his f3e7c2e769 mere presence dried my 0fcc6f089e tears.40cf4774e331f3ce

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I had a 49a6d72a95 strong intuition that 1211a47db2 he wouldn’t like 122a155d47 seeing someone cry 9115493382 in front of 557c5baf9e him. Biting my lip aecea01718 until it bled, bf15a40ae9 I looked up 31d12d2871 at the approaching 19949783ae man. Blinking, the tears pooled e352cb3125 in my eyes drained 1e61ddf2d0 instantly. Seeing his 88c7ea7633 clear face, cc8798829b I clenched e11195dad1 my fists cea508977d tightly. My nails dug into b598b68e92 my flesh.c63313d0d1f5d96c

His expressionless face was 28cf5a1e0a chilling. His unsmiling demeanor 5b577fc1b6 recalled the blood-soaked 80f5ab44b0 events of yesterday.dd5c5a5a306b130c

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Holding my breath 5c2e2e9008 and staring, he 6c3129720e knelt down and c7589a6e06 reached out to 3eec37f3c3 me. I thought he’d 92912adf45 hit me, but 1f3fe91953 his touch, wiping d644e0b31c my wet cheek, b6e1a94eb9 was surprisingly gentle. He comforted 9894ba3703 me warmly, 0362f2ff75 as if 0ae8afc569 my sorrow e6812e3ab2 had nothing 2ea47b30ba to do 7dbce36fff with him.d172950ace246865

His eyes, b8a55500e3 scanning my c32aa4f889 face, softened. With an affectionate cd2906eaaa smile that put c60d692e9a me at ease, e13de8ded1 he whispered,ad2d55788c416dc3

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“Babies shouldn’t cry.”d9a231e9b5659992

The hand caressing 47133c235b my cheek slid e055c7a94b to my chin. Wiping away the dangling e8ad418f96 tears, he tilted his fa467c4f46 head. He smelled of wet d89ab9fae1 winter. Before our lips touched, 93469cb824 his final words struck 46a48947b5 my mind.1cb3c5d0ce285acd

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“You’re so pretty… 930958f8db I want to f4c002ad78 preserve you as c5222e87f6 is.”47dfa3f68d43f688

A tongue slipped through 33f6d0bd3b my shocked, parted lips. Sharp like 8ae3a2feb1 a snake’s 1bb0fdcf03 fang, it 286f37d0f8 swept through 940210bfbb my mouth. And suddenly, b817bdadc2 I couldn’t 56d1b54abb breathe.660ecfeef0588d05

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He was choking me.ebf41440b77f8aeb

Instinctively, I opened e2129f11fe my mouth to 21638a9ef0 breathe, but all df36373340 that entered was bb346bce45 his wicked tongue acc96f2d6d stealing my saliva. Too weak to push b364cb784d him away, my arms 543ceca133 lacked strength. Thud, my clenched 30321c6e2a fist fell limply. My vision darkened, and 924b8d9afa in my fading consciousness, 100344380a I heard his whisper.99c522690f7d4ddf

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“Sweet dreams, Heesoo.”2d6f1d062a545bab

There was bd730231ac only one 9c42e69005 thing to ef8e82bd80 say in fb254f7e69 return.70d1ecc68c0a139a

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Crazy bastard.086903afa312f32e