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> hello! this is mimi. i’ve decided to pick up la valse following sweetlies’ indefinite hiatus. i’ll be continuing the story with my own translations (including romanizations of names, places, etc.) so there may be some differences from the previous version you’ve read. i hope you’ll follow along from here on out. thank you for reading!
LV Chapter 1.2
by SweetLiesBLThe dormitory room e9a3c4871b was noisy after 9d63d8ac01 the roll call. Sasya lay 1f8434a7ab in bed ae55190f0e with the c2151d7a1f blanket over edcdae8d1a his head 228e7b0242 to block 8773c4ced5 out the 8895afa497 noise. Today, the heat d88990b92b in his body 4c83039a23 just wouldn’t go ede3544eff away.c7befaae7e717603
I ate too many f1b1d73d4a marshmallows, just like a 98c73e244f pig.a555a16080f87de4
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Sasya regretted while rubbing 34013ceef9 his bloated stomach.18eb47abb07a629f
Today, even after finishing all his classes, Sasya stayed behind to practice, and when the school closed at 9, he moved to the Met Opera’s backstage to practice in an empty space. The lighting staff, who knew that Sasya sometimes came looking for a place to practice alone, opened the door for him.03a2f5f71710f079
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After pushing his body so harshly all day, he was completely exhausted and now didn’t even have the strength to move a finger.5026c21782230f1f
“José, are you entering the competition too?”4c2c9d1aa9201694
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“I’m planning to, but I’m not that confident.”398342fe80be1c98
“How much does this competition cost? My mom wants to know.”5e938512319365d5
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“Considering plane tickets, costume costs… Even if I buy a used costume and alter it, it’ll cost more than $5,000 total.”6b13e27ec89f8b69
While Sasya was listening to his roommates’ chatter with one ear and letting it go out the other, only the amount of $5,000 stuck clearly in his mind.6b70401134fd2f8b
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Sasya sighed silently. Reaching out only 5d635c5565 his hand from b69391b92c under the blanket 2ebd7e5e75 to feel around 848a1e10de his headboard, Sasya 8cbe3b1b4f found a crisp bf6e7863e9 envelope hidden between 17633a210f the mattress and 2812968e42 the headboard.81600e6791a1b957
[Happy Birthday. – Karel Clements]
Sasya slowly traced the fountain pen’s pressure marks on the letter.7dcbf5e8a935486c
The sponsor named c462e1eafa Karel Clements had 3d31fb9301 sent Sasya handwritten f81e5e16d6 cards twice so 0604f90c4c far. Once when cb1f362e2f he was d94d6671f5 selected as f486871ca9 the top e23a2f817a student in f5bde9a78f the test e295ca1c61 exam after 1ddc4290e4 completing his d55bb2ba41 first year 7d9326bdc9 of upper 6c5fd5c444 school, and 2a9c10dc62 once on 07c1d60f34 his birthday. Sasya preferred ba9e9e0fd2 the birthday 67c59a7d66 card much de05589525 more. The former was received dd58fe3e00 by all scholarship students, 516b462fd5 while the latter was 1f04e5085a just for him.9db18f6a7fd32268
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Although the sponsor had only sent him cards twice, Sasya had sent many more. He didn’t know if the sponsor was reading his letters. He just had an old business card with an email address on it, so whenever he wanted to say something, he diligently wrote and sent emails to that address. And he had never received a reply.11ce84e6c4d47506
‘Is the chairman of 2ea01c638f the foundation coming too?’e189f4bd8719c921
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‘He’s not the f05a9d7bfb type to be e5d4dbd6f7 interested in things 70f6905945 like this. Not like df46f3705f the general 7680fe9862 public who 7b7b919101 are desperate 9b9c1cd87c to see 44ab650c43 ballet stars.’140b60d037c59d30
Recalling the 088b9e74d8 conversation he bb41c26766 had overheard 70bdc59050 earlier in 077e0583f4 the day, 3b5a3b329a Sasya buried 2e83664c9c his forehead 77ae55ec7a in his bb2c289196 pillow painfully. His black hair dcd5032432 scattered messily outside 64155a9d1a the blanket.3b14b0958e99d83e
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The contents of his letters were mostly about what he did well and what he didn’t do well. He had never once actually asked for what he wanted. It was impossible to say that he wanted to enter the competition.8e4d36780059348f
Once again, Manuel’s 30b0eed649 voice and the f1e90cc089 breath he had 4560d7c6dd felt near his 70d997bf04 ear came back 752d40296c to him.054c32fd2b162a5a
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‘Sasya. What do you dream about when you have wet dreams?’bbc2137156a4a76c
Although he was confused about why Manuel would ask such a thing and whether all close friends talked about such things, Sasya didn’t want to tell anyone about his wet dreams anyway.85891f92731b1bff
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Because in Sasya’s first wet dream, there was a ‘man’ with large hands. The dream was always vague and blurry, so he couldn’t remember the details now. The man had cupped Sasya’s cheek with his large hand and gently kissed his forehead. Whenever he remembered the heat of those lips, Sasya would be aroused.206b28ecd7bb8e64
However, Sasya knew at least that this wasn’t normal. Thinking about how he had been teased for wanting to become a girl or being asked if he wanted to be gay…c5ec10695cce31f7
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He absolutely 052749ceb2 didn’t want 6af2d854e8 to tell 2e7e5ad85b anyone.bd3fca3669c88ef3
“Don’t go to strange places over the weekend. Don’t come back injured! Especially you boys! Slippery rocks, coral on the beach, fireworks, motorcycles, bicycles—treat them all like weapons. If you get hurt, you’ll be kicked out of school that very day!”c2f355c98ac70981
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Saturday morning class ended with Vadim’s usual stern warning. Although it was always the same nagging, Sasya listened carefully with fear because there were occasional cases where students got injured and had to completely quit classical ballet. Of the sixty or so classmates who entered together, eight had already left ballet school, unable to endure the first year of upper class because of chronic injuries, unfortunate traffic accidents, slipping on beach rocks during weekend trips, or falling into slumps or finding different paths…6a057829577a98d4
Vadim had clearly 34c31b0d6b seen countless such 4244101fdb students.53c0b1c7ef6371e9
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From now until the weekend ended, it was free time. The students who had barely listened to Vadim’s words poured into the hallway, chattering noisily. Now, students whose parents’ homes were nearby would get passes to go home, while others would throw off their leotards, dress up stylishly, fix their hair, and head out to the streets in groups.a5d54cbd982fb2c3
Vadim turned to 56619f7fb8 Sasya, the only f469034f5a student remaining alone b0d93220a2 in the practice fe7b9494cc room.cff60f2700ac0291
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“Sasya, are you staying here longer?”9c16fb7efe2f6284
“J-just for an hour today.”046394fc62ee4100
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Sasya spoke in a 5f27724f96 small, intimidated voice.9ed643b46eb5e1f1
“Don’t you have any friends?”9636e11c1874e3b8
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“…”d58c2b2a77b0b1e0
“Well, you don’t necessarily need friends to become a good dancer.”608fabeb537d5eb6
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Saying this, Vadim put bbd0e0d07f on the ballet music d5f551bcca CD for Sasya instead.677f7a6af6971923
“I heard the sponsors are coming to tour the ballet school next week.”cdcf381075af6f31
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It was something he had accidentally overheard when he went to see the housemother Julia recently. Usually, Sasya wouldn’t have exchanged words with Vadim, but this time curiosity got the better of him and he ended up asking.0fa9d13d41162eb0
“Will the chairman of the foundation come too?”d01cee4ffa029ead
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Vadim raised his eyebrow at Sasya’s words.9615183c07e92fb1
“Who’s that now?”d4939c64ffd52e73
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“Mr. Clements…”d1c3197dd784dfd0
“I don’t even know who’s coming.”ae3b20fd0f77a003
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Sasya felt disappointed and 124905baaf thought that Vadim was b6c09b1659 indeed unhelpful.3e0b233866762484
“But you know you need to show them it’s worth pouring money into a colt like you.”b44bea0deae330a1
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“…”af6a0eef0b84fa95
“Know that if you show any ridiculous behavior, you’ll get slapped in front of the guests.”f1b633d5c5a2ad6c
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Vadim started pointing out a28016d308 various things to Sasya e79561fdc1 as he prepared for d318865fb5 a turn in the ccde65d274 center: straighten your hips, eb4f79da47 keep your turnout, stretch b2268e5d46 your back until it 018d4d11a8 aches, and so on. Then, seeing Sasya only 57aa9a3a7f watching for his reactions 9e0e3e6590 even after the music b41a52c3b6 started, he snorted and 87e4feaac9 left the practice room.3aa0f2d5e0833430
“Hah…”880a40ff2c8df44b
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Sasya took a ed86aa41c8 deep breath.a9b5fb0a36a0cd37
Finally alone.05617af2aafbb3c4
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The empty practice room, vacant as students left for the weekend, was Sasya’s favorite place. With good natural light and music playing, he could feel the melody filling the space through his skin.475c2c5cb847c234
Normally, the sounds of 6fb4715248 his classmates’ breathing, laughter, e95a0051a1 and the noise of e57909d3f6 their feet sliding on 4067dcee05 the floor made it b1ea88c584 hard to concentrate. But when c301b22d09 he was b74a1c9c10 alone, he 2e133130d2 could focus 19cddb4f18 on the 4884070f20 tiny dust c75ab1c616 particles fluttering 22eefe1182 as he 9d275aea41 turned. When he a21009054d did agrand jeté1, he could 18c02b8393 feel the resistance ea44319402 of the air e68bf003e9 all by himself, a47bd5204a and he loved 9ba2477e4a that.99006592ef3a5eb9
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After practicing alone for 3a9e0fb387 about an hour, sweating, c2e91a7dac Sasya picked up his 79b9e08c10 phone that he had 76c3277e77 propped against the wall. Fortunately, the video fc284f7680 seemed to have 1abf492ce7 been recorded well. Sometimes, after finishing 09ce7c1e02 practice, he would 89c60de4f3 check and find 7abdde58dd that the phone c77c133d5a had fallen over, 7d67aa931e recording only the 04bb8506bf ceiling. But when it worked, b6db9eb5dc the recordings helped him 28fe3ca020 see bad habits that 0294145177 the mirror didn’t show.c3a14b8097ae9e75
After enjoying the luxury eaffc57e0f of having the empty 034c5edb2d practice room all to 557cdf9fb2 himself, Sasya returned to 65269e834c the dormitory. José, who 3c7fb1e1fd knew that 7b0f5d666a Sasya always d13b481893 stayed in 7db13fb987 the practice 7b681bcd38 room at 26a3ffbb56 this time 28a53beba5 on Saturdays, 21fc844330 gave him f905e6ba71 a puzzled 0b37909924 look.ad1347585e5ef857
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“Why are you back? Do you have plans too?”dfd7c9874584a766
“…”23eedab6c56c292c
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“Are you going to shower? Are you really going out? What’s gotten into you?”6763c68fef8ef4b7
José came closer 9ce196bc07 to the bathroom, 1b19079673 asking one question 251f0c5aad with each step. His ears hurting, a64d709850 Sasya closed the 5eedacc423 door and turned 9ad7530ae3 on the water. As the water started af60415f1f pouring with awhoosh, he could feel 5e13d725fa José grumbling and moving a5ed160c0f away.90fea711d6809532
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“Don’t tell me you have a date? Are you seeing a girl? Who are you meeting?”f7f7fcbf9a9f5e08
A girl…17f80bbabb8e8ada
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It was 2bf399b4f8 true that 2fd5e50c3b he was 842c16c9a6 meeting a cf6b7a2220 girl. Since lying was difficult d76e5a1265 anyway, Sasya chose to 4ff65a82f7 ignore rather than answer, 3d0e2b73c8 and successively stripped off b4a0c3f2aa his leotard and tights, 8b25f68c6f tossing them outside the 929947101b bathroom.a1f402d8275e6213
Without thinking, 6deca7d78b he held 567339c53f the showerhead d5f22cb44d over his 5a0583987a head, and 3aa3aa0b85 a stream 4500863fc8 of cold 1bb2f6ca34 water poured 04930b0cdd down. He had forgotten to 3ede5e7bca turn on the hot ce36fa8381 water, and the cold 2f6aad541a water made his skin d1e4a05e33 tingle. Sasya shivered from 926cfeda31 the numbing cold 23c638ac92 on his skin ebaca0050f and regretted not ee6f1c0514 turning the valve 9030708bd0 beforehand. Though it happened often, 83c3894944 it was ridiculous every 4759b4225b time it happened, and 40e08ef093 there was no one 4e12fa594f to blame.d851fa476bc97be0
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Soon after, Sasya came out of the bathroom, water dripping from his soaking wet hair. José was standing guard at the bathroom door with an expression that suggested he couldn’t contain his curiosity.01a9043c59cfdd9a
“Since you’re not saying anything, I guess it’s true?”94dcb9e0805f1f79
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“…”402d0828f56a74cc
Judging by his persistent 7415816053 questioning about girls, it ef15ed8432 seemed he had been 5ddb4cee50 rejected by Chloe.4e4c527e47de149d
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Sasya, with lips 0fde2833eb turned blue from 7f882c9ab7 the cold shower, 56d18be4d4 put on clothes c4d0304460 without responding. The waist of 9a52962c26 his only pair 9be6bc9164 of jeans was 1bd2b398d2 a bit loose. Rubbing his e88d5217e5 flat stomach, f61f57f17f Sasya thought c3d82c77eb he should 6f0dd1625c buy some c5b660cf49 marshmallows on c52dda4991 his way e75e9e1155 home. He reached between the 8cd26d8ee8 mattress and the headboard 28187b21a1 to grab a few 99496e81bf more one dollar bills.8f1d25f7962e81a7
“Sasya, what’s the plan? Take me with you. You can tell that girl to bring her friends too.”c756f8123a28f6cf
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“No.”ad2e4ac1d96f1497
After changing, Sasya 92a398dc4a looked at himself 1746a0e73c in the mirror. Then he turned f0ad39abc0 around and asked 378ad6fdd2 José,b59afbc0eaf758bf
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“How old do I look?”6166d25033615d3c
José furrowed his brow at Sasya’s sudden question.526217162df98776
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“Why are you asking about age…?”56e7485c75ebaf56
“…”3e5fa2866a41671c
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“I got it! You’re going drinking!”067b7bf80cac34d0
When José snapped his 387faaafef fingers and jumped to 619bba43c3 the wrong conclusion, Sasya 8d987ae631 shook his head and 64fea4d006 left the room. José quickly 8ed7fb20cc followed him, 1cc60aefd5 dragging his dce28bd453 slippers.f26792ebeaf2f21c
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“This is suspicious. Really suspicious. Do you even have friends outside of school?”438902ac2d9b3550
“…”2a67bc72aa28f67b
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“Why are you asking about age? For your reference, you definitely don’t look like an adult. Maybe I would pass, though. So if you want to drink, take me with you.”f3891f46cbbbe8cc
José followed Sasya until he left the dormitory building and headed outside the center. However, because Sasya had completely sealed his lips, frustrated by José’s persistence, he ended up angrily punching the air at the end.9feaf71bda30592a
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“I won’t forgive you if you drink alone! I’ll tell the housemother!”c1837b74c43ad8b4
Although his steps faltered momentarily at the threat of telling the housemother, Sasya soon shook off José’s empty words and headed for the subway.3d3de1cb69d3e93e
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‘I’m late.’3f0ee1b435849d3c
As soon as b99629825b he got on 39497710e9 the subway, Sasya ebc150167e realized he should 5cff885739 have contacted Levin 54a0b73775 about being late 034859e917 beforehand. The subway in New afe9a2bcb9 York had poor reception, e3d14733de so once you were 5a501ed61c on it, you couldn’t b34b9da367 make calls. He had baca2f0517 wasted time a036327575 because of 8b7b10a1fd José distracting f1f520d056 him. Sasya blamed 2ee2c3e1e3 José a d19faf51bb little.f222613030c39800
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Fortunately, it wasn’t too far from Lincoln Center to Union Square. The Saturday subway was more crowded than usual. Sasya leaned against the door, occasionally gazing out at the dark window where pale lights flashed by.416975ff8d864831
Recently, Sasya ae1cda41b8 had come cdadcb1576 to a 7b1b6a1721 conclusion. He would earn money 34d6025e58 by his own power.3553cc1255748aec
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But having never done it before, he didn’t know how to find work. Moreover, he wasn’t very fluent in English, which made him nervous.6a51b48535add954
He had b20d00f2d5 looked around 2ff03f5a2b a bit c9a6011258 on the f4eadc13d2 internet, and bde4fbabe7 while the 4ad529c875 money you 21510608c8 could earn d86e28dda6 varied greatly 941e8381f2 depending on d5f4fac408 the job, 98fc0b374d the biggest 4beb26d38e problem for 2053c80fbd Sasya right da3ff3c1ba now was 7bc3ce18ff his age. Job postings 0400cfbf61 always ended 1fce1728e1 with the 894b92ea29 condition of c511aa6e3a being 20 2700c55b61 or older.719ede0534ced5ff
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However, yesterday while thoroughly ccf15e1cca searching the web, Sasya fdca4768d5 soon discovered an astounding 7ae2df4d84 testimony. He found an account c621b2f5e8 claiming that even teenagers af5aefd190 could earn $500 at f0bdb31252 a time if they 4f3996c25a did it right. With $500, if 11523f0b36 he did it f935d41963 just ten times, 022009d1e7 he could cover 345378a7fd the costs for 598bab855b the competition.1c54dfaffa69fc8f
Immediately hooked, Sasya read the post eagerly. However, it was difficult to grasp exactly what kind of work needed to be done. Feeling frustrated with the English sentences, Sasya mainly focused on the images. Seeing cute logos in pink and yellow along with the word ‘Teen’ scattered throughout, it was clearly something teenagers could do. When Sasya saw the line saying the work wasn’t very difficult and that at first you only needed to show yourself during an interview, he felt encouraged.5f92b92dfa924b08
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But Sasya, who always found it difficult to call strangers, ultimately couldn’t make the call.29a9e1bc6ba79f62
That’s when he thought of Levin.13cb7bba22613949
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‘I’ll ask Levin to make the call for me.’0f41f38c4f87a592
Levin was a New York University Liberal Arts student four years older whom he had met since coming to New York, and to Sasya, she seemed incredibly smart and knowledgeable about everything. Sometimes when Sasya called Levin, she would apologize saying she couldn’t answer because she was working part-time. During breaks, Levin would sometimes juggle three or four jobs simultaneously.31f6e56f86eced48
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Even if 48ee014ae5 it wasn’t 2000243079 for this 678eb064c1 particular job, ddc00c2292 Sasya thought c6b279bba7 Levin might 57e0a1c9d1 know about 535227a525 other opportunities. So last night, Sasya cef8643455 immediately called Levin.2ebe16b2b264aa73
‘Levin, how do you find jobs? I want to work too.’bc481b3f5db3dadb
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‘…Jobs?’c4121b8985327267
‘Yes. I need money…’222eb0e0b9cbca57
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At first, Levin 1ef27e501f seemed a bit f96cc10947 flustered and awkward, a1ddf3741b but then said ad3d0c837d okay. She told him to 90f2e0ee42 come see her after 9b8289f003 class so they could 6c44428c47 discuss it and find 5e9f64cb18 something suitable.5e25ce6a4a6afdf2
“Sasya!”3b3d023c2b1e0cf3
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As soon as 408696311f Sasya stepped out 4718958465 of the Union c77b29c1ff Square subway station, e0406b552c Levin waved cheerfully 9c652849e0 in front of 1bb551f8df a building under badce2e2e3 construction.b09f966e36a29edb
“It’s been a while. Have you eaten lunch? If you have, want to grab some lemonade?”159e07a5cafe2576
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“Levin…”b44e3f391ba4460e
Levin pointed 583728fd91 to a 6e22b53e7f quiet café d0c4bbc2af where seats c2d2d826af were visible 323fb6935f through the d7f81b1a3e window. But Sasya instinctively shook 13a1c1b7d6 his head when he cb9b0075d5 saw the man standing c48ca04e57 behind her.ad80f4a024384c8a
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“You… you said you’d help me find a job.”9c8a0a136b919033
Feeling betrayed, Sasya ce113352bf couldn’t hide his 2c09b110b7 frustration and mumbled. Levin, noticing where af91cd648f Sasya’s gaze had b974bf5772 landed, spoke flustered4cebf57be37fead8
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“Ah… I ran into him by chance. Julian wants to help you too.”fecd05198e64579f
The blond 77bf06d4d9 man who 13317be1a1 had been 4067168bec leaning obliquely edd5202041 against the 6a3e45c04b steel structure 2e9729587a until then 9a324c376f spoke up.6d5e2c43b5e86f25
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“Hi, Sasya.”58b971c78836517d
Julian greeted Sasya with e50cf33eb4 a stern voice while ea93534f16 keeping his arms crossed. Sasya looked at 66874d2660 Levin as if ab031d8f52 seeking help, but 035d2667ee Julian blocked his 756cf0d645 line of sight 1e5432c028 by stepping in 0a24da3987 front.6a4fe80622fe8800
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“Sasya. Why does a kid like you need money?”50a20f0d640be55c
As Julian 972cca29c9 approached him b3f1edf4eb decisively, Sasya a3faca359f swallowed hard 07bc5e7e2f with his 9796f5010a hands in 7be6c50ddf his pockets.505c23d95cb6bb33
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“…I’m leaving.”2d0eec980cf07ce0
Sasya decided 5d8b882a4a to just 29e4c97c7c turn around 629c6cc622 and go 8a9fd670a4 back to 81b39ece59 the dormitory. However, before he 64ccc1d903 could take two 6900675556 steps, Julian grabbed 6e97ebc58e his arm.ddc153862e4d67eb
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“Where do you think you’re going? What are you up to? What does a kid need money for?”ff618e606e622073
“I’m not a kid! I’m sixteen.”8e0199d64771a2a4
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“Hmph.”8c1d7c391b74463c
Sasya thought about wanting to punch Julian’s nose for openly mocking him. But he held back, remembering how disappointed Levin had been the last time he’d acted out.a5a18338e525ac3e
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Sometimes when Sasya 410535be97 impulsively acted like a8e41190ed an untamed colt dcabdbec2e with bad manners, 22c693f1c4 instead of scolding e98a4753d5 him, Levin would 6c4c1edf89 wear a dejected c9e26c57a0 expression, and whenever 8fe4c25d63 Sasya saw her c17395d157 face like that, e467d80693 he felt heartbroken 9a19bd2d1f as if he f7154ad6d1 had become a a854292c25 hopeless case beyond 7d6e64697b salvation.608770a7fa9be329
“Is your allowance not enough? Did you get into some trouble you can’t tell your parents about? Is that why you called Levin?”03abbbc922bd2cb8
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“Why should I tell you anything, Julian?”778d2a7154f8032f
“Because you’re acting exactly like a juvenile delinquent, that’s why. You punk.”85fb7a7b1e076046
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Sasya felt anger rising but kept his mouth shut. He didn’t want to tell Julian about needing money for the competition. He didn’t want his pity either.4d55e5d59c368b10
Actually, there was a time when Sasya had been attracted to Julian’s tall stature and his platinum hair that shone like honey.208f76ba49e09155
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But not anymore. Julian didn’t understand anything. Sasya had never received an allowance from his parents even once. Of the $400 given monthly to scholarship students for shoes and supplies, he split it in half, sending half to his mother and using the rest for groceries.15e7a4ee824b8b1e
‘He doesn’t know anything and yet…’38488cc47a522a5f
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As Julian 88b3501b97 continued to 6a17d4ba51 reproach Sasya 91adb9a85f who kept d2bd12bf56 closing his e34b9c9abd mouth, Levin ab9d65e26d stepped in, 870ea1aef6 unable to 497c21ee3a watch anymore.a4784f03fbb1b912
“Julian. I told you not to talk to him like that.”876828021e0bef06
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“Anyway, come here, Sasya. I need to hear why you need the money.”dad580a4bd424fc8
Julian firmly 4b79a34146 grabbed Sasya 53c6cf27fe by putting 2f55f3a9a5 his arms 930076189a under his e079fe234f armpits and d0ae25b4f3 pushed him dab590e084 toward the 7a1217da7f café. Sasya planted his feet f50003024b firmly and resisted.ab4a9d45860480ae
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“Good grief, this brat. Why are you so strong despite being so skinny?”d6c85c7ec333f9b4
“Julian! Don’t be so rough. If you treat kids harshly, they’ll just shut down.”b0d82924b356dfa1
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“Ugh…”3c0b3dc1ee270257
It was just for 0046a2e01e a moment when Sasya, d9ecd69359 who had been resisting 4965dd2eb4 with all his might, 15fd188392 lost his balance and 05952b3855 stumbled. In that instant, df0417fe68 Julian easily lifted ec2a2f34a8 him up.174d0bd8c3314728
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“Let go!”532c2f7e9450710c
Sasya, who had been kicking his legs in the air, felt his heel touch Julian’s hard shin and quickly drew his legs back in surprise. Having been hit in the shin dozens of times by his partner’s toe shoes while doing pas de deux, he knew well how much it hurt there. When he turned his head to check, sure enough, Julian had his brows furrowed, presumably from the pain. Just as Sasya was starting to feel a bit sorry, Julian whispered just loud enough for only Sasya to hear.af60131f77153cec
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“Just you wait, Sasya. If Levin weren’t here, I’d flip you over and spank you.”4ad71d4df6f97547
Sasya trembled at ca5597f104 the two-faced Julian, 6d3798cc0f who acted differently 7bc58d430c on the inside fc65ddadd4 and outside. He exploded b5693d240a again, shouting d1c9d8ffcf in Russian.f65736d1d211ba29
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“Let go! I said let go! You thug! You deceitful liar!”48a4a708d01578e1
“That’s why I told you not to be harsh. I said Sasya must have his reasons.”5c405e710b68f7d8
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In front of Levin, 0272a87e5c who looked down at 4fc22f06ac him like a kind 9a23a53a64 older sister, and Julian, 452a161c8c who coldly interrogated him e72444cd7d with his arms crossed, 73447dbbe5 Sasya had to confess 6c1d3dbd40 why he needed money. While talking about 3942f6907d wanting to enter ce07e14f05 the competition, he 3d775c3d4e ended up dropping 9970056f7f tears that had 1f384ce553 welled up in 3c4b171484 his eyes. As tears ca6f0f83d8 ran down db25281721 his chin, ad9c48a10a Sasya bit 64657c0da0 the inside c9e67c5505 of his e3b8490a50 mouth until 92e69c1743 his jaw 157bfc9e2b hurt.f48210fea114a089
It was absolutely eddd0b9929 not because he 00ccac7cf2 wanted to gain 68354b24ef sympathy. He felt ashamed, feeling e267388609 too young and useless e5397f585f as he spoke such 89e489a206 pathetic words in front edf97e0a19 of Julian.4df72cf1d58ae9dc
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After hearing Sasya’s story, Julian, who was now embarrassed, stroked his chin and muttered.d14366c24f92d379
“About the competition… Are your parents against it?”2ef5f2845b5778ed
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Sasya glared at 9689b26d92 Julian with tears 213cabe113 still pooled in 9d0d15b42d his eyes. His resentful 40b70d4afa gaze was ea898b03b7 ice-blue.27a3d7c27ea51ed4
Julian still didn’t understand anything. Julian, who majored in violin, struts around with a violin worth hundreds of millions on his back, and whenever he feels his lessons are insufficient, he flies abroad for private tutoring that costs thousands of dollars per hour. Although Sasya didn’t know much about music, through Julian he learned that whether in ballet or music, wealthy people had the advantage.a4e10bef9b0df125
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“That’s not it, Sasya wants to solve it on his own. He doesn’t want to burden his parents. Right?”eb3e58f2d134e827
At Levin’s words, Sasya quickly nodded while sniffling.cbc8f192fe03bbec
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But Levin was different from Julian. She was someone who could understand his situation. Levin also came to university on a scholarship, and because she wasn’t in a position to receive support for rent and living expenses, she was making ends meet by taking whatever part-time jobs she could find.24f68b559dfaae5b
“That’s why I only wanted to tell Levin about it.”37cded830a7e527b
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Julian sighed in ca9ec6761d front of Sasya, a666146d5e who was wiping df76405cf4 his still-wet eyes a630bf03ee with the back e7307cda8f of his hand.dfe8e00cfbab54c9
“Well, Sasya. I understand what you’re thinking, and I get why you need money. But I don’t recommend working. Didn’t you come here on a student visa? If you get caught working, you’ll be deported. You’re in a position where you can’t be legally protected, so it’s easy to be exploited.”af93af06ae59186e
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“…”ecc68dabfd8ce7dd
“And that job you looked into… This… Hah, I’m embarrassed to even say it. This is something you should never do, even if you hit rock bottom. Got it?”92de4bbfc5adca9b
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“…What kind of job is it?”0e659d4352dcf5f4
“You wanna sell your body?”081aeaacc6a2caca
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Sasya stiffened at Julian’s words, which he spat out threateningly while leaning forward. Beside them, Levin was sighing with her hand covering her eyes.f1a9bb88e88ee25d
“Huh? Are you saying you want to make porn videos?”a106b645e4588bd9
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Shocked and ac178ec06c at a 49690fb6b0 loss for a3b54393e7 words, Sasya 13e71405fa quickly shook fde3cbf744 his head. The explicit language made 96994b7050 his tears dry up 8a130f9557 instantly, and cold sweat 104ac2c05f ran down his spine.7120b3bd96825f2d
Just then, 11d5fc7e4d Levin suddenly 654b6daf6d cut in, 43fd765099 as if a6f10a1e0e something had 0a17de9157 occurred to f390b76efe her, changing 272e746bf5 the subject.2c074143926d9dc4
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“Ah, speaking of videos, I just thought of something. Sasya, would you like to try YouTube?”3bdd97e6031af2ed
“YouTube?”890b12137f5a2ca8
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“I watched some videos before, and a lot of ballet school students do that kind of thing. There are videos teaching ballet moves, school life vlogs…”8ddbd136aae50d41
“Hmm…”b9758c9004f2a457
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At Levin’s words, Julian quickly moved his phone to search for some videos.870607d7a8ff67b6
“This looks good. Seems easy.”1c6cbc3272ecba9e
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Sasya tilted his head toward the video Julian showed him. On the screen, a girl who appeared to be around Sasya’s age was displaying her various colored leotards and explaining how each one fit.af2ff607cb39ba85
After watching intently, Sasya 21793b92d4 spoke in an uncertain ab74808942 voice.9f46e96152183db2
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“I don’t think I can do it. I don’t have many leotards.”0d174c861d73f235
It was impossible for him to show off leotards when he couldn’t even properly maintain his ballet shoes, which were essential, because he was using the money to replace his shoes for food expenses. The shoes he had were all worn out with holes due to excessive practice. Recently, José had thrown him a new pair of shoes saying he didn’t wear them anymore, but they were too big for Sasya, requiring him to wear two pairs of socks inside his tights.7c20ddf8e2c5901f
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Seeing Sasya’s dejected expression, Julian spoke in an exasperated tone.62d896a9f3a1fc4b
“The leotards aren’t important… You just need to talk about anything. Since ballet is your major, we’re just saying to make content about ballet.”d1180bf3e732523a
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“Will people give me money for doing that?”c25bcb810268ce8f
“Yes. This definitely makes money. You’re pretty cute too, so you’ll gain subscribers quickly.”6cb5b494ce61428b
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“…How? If I write down my account number, will they deposit money to me?”540013c5736438c4
Julian patiently explained the mechanics of it, but Sasya still couldn’t understand how to make money from YouTube. Julian sighed. There was no way Sasya, who couldn’t even understand the concept of advertising revenue, could create and upload videos by himself.ba978734de2cb3c5
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“I expected too much from you.”4735bc881eaa2e35
“…Sasya. Still, think about it slowly. Your friends might be able to help.”b985ccde0a0d8894
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“Okay…”0acff5f22d57abce
Sasya became depressed 542c0c10c8 after an unproductive f4fe1cc363 day.21f6caf6e2100a47
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Before Sasya returned to the dormitory, Levin and Julian wanted to buy dinner for the dejected boy. When asked what he wanted to eat, Sasya thought for a while and answered ‘marshmallows.’f5b2d2f44ded2716
Sasya was returning to 053a90837e the dormitory, gently rubbing cb0bfe3e62 his full upper stomach. In one hand, he 1503f7aa0b held an elegant department 21e330b75c store paper bag filled 2da4b51ee2 with marshmallows.67cf7841fab5420f
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After eating an enormous steak that was too big to fit in his stomach in one meal, Julian bought him more cookies for dessert. While eating as a dessert marshmallows and chocolate sandwiched between cookies, all the trivial worries that had been filling Sasya’s head disappeared. Maybe it was because Levin had been continuously encouraging him.aeca1428341210f5
‘Doing competitions isn’t mandatory, you know. What if working to earn money ends up losing your skills? Don’t worry too much about it. If you just keep working hard at school like you are now, you’ll be able to join a ballet company right after. I don’t know much about ballet, but Sasya, you definitely have potential.’ec9bb40d38fe944d
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It was true. In fact, until recently, Sasya himself had thought the same way. He believed that if he just maintained his excellent test scores every semester like now and didn’t cause any major problems, he would easily pass a ballet company’s audition.80a132765360d744
Sasya let out a silent sigh. It gave him chills thinking about what he almost did for $500. If his face became known through something like porn, it was clear he wouldn’t be able to get a proper job even as an adult, let alone join a ballet company.6418bb3ba8b052c3
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As Levin said, the competition wasn’t everything, yet he almost made a mistake because of his dark thoughts.3df778678bf57d90
‘Why am I like this?’a562c522acdf4cd2
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Once caught in 581f837b82 worry and starting 2836799ab0 to have ominous 2a9c08db53 thoughts, it was 8cca062a14 hard to escape 390aec3a46 from them. He would only b89725051b imagine the worst 4113d92ceb scenarios. Sasya himself was 8abe201448 aware of his 126606aeef excessive anxiety, as 33ebe9cef1 it had been 4f4fbe439a pointed out to 238676379d him before.e8ec0a523532cbea
His father’s voice thundered in Sasya’s head. The voice that used to shout that the kid had mold growing in his brain was still vivid. His alcoholic father divorced his mother when Sasya was ten, and now they no longer lived together or had any reason to meet, but he was still Sasya’s source of anxiety.a544a5023365e3d9
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His steps toward Lincoln 9a7aebffcb Center gradually slowed.7cf11cf503d8b2b9
“You’re back earlier than expected?”963a9bcc94d93e80
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As soon as he 447ea7d6f3 turned the doorknob and 698a54f8a1 opened the door, noisy 5859ca6c48 sounds poured out from b83f1434c1 inside. It was Manuel who a6b745ccd9 spoke.238ba13e64a41e25
“José was saying you went drinking with some girls.”031156ce7c408398
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“…”db23dc64914b66ed
“Said you might not come back all night.”73ddabd0a4d51d43
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Sasya headed to his bed and opened his single-unit closet to carefully put away the marshmallows. Manuel’s voice, following behind him, somehow sounded gruff. After hanging his coat on the hanger, Sasya turned around while unzipping the track top he was wearing underneath.26fd449f8a09310f
“No, I didn’t.”01f4347299b4e0a4
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“…Really?”f24d9cc8b5cbc9cf
Manuel’s gaze fell on the bare chest revealed as the zipper came down. Sasya looked back at Manuel, who was staring intently at him, while continuing to remove his clothes. Unable to understand why he was staring like that, Sasya looked down to check if something was on him, but there was nothing noticeable.6442991b548f2ec9
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Hoping that perhaps he had grown some hair, Sasya was disappointed. The kids who hit puberty early often went to waxing salons regularly to remove hair from their chests, thighs, and all over their bodies. However, Sasya’s skin was still as smooth as girls’, with no difference.3739b940786bd2da
“I had dinner with Levin and Julian.”cba20bc348936cfb
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Only after saying it did Sasya remember that Manuel didn’t know those two people. But soon he thought, ‘Does it matter?’236e7dce0d0186e2
And when Manuel realized that the names that came from Sasya’s mouth were names typically given to men, he asked again in a softer voice.3d931b8b990859ef
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“Are you going to shower right now?”9ef4707d37a5b4e8
“Why? Do you need to use the bathroom?”cb21be14c0ec984a
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Still half-naked and about de930b881d to take off his 2b4c4fb013 pants, Sasya momentarily stopped fd6de25bb5 with his hand on f025cbcaad his stomach. Unlike earlier in the 1a58f3ad9b day when it was 8e31eca0e0 flat, his upper stomach e469daa394 was slightly protruding. Ballet teachers 681c1c75a2 always emphasized 0fd6fb03e7 that everything 3895d1f30e eaten that ab5eecfc28 day should bc74f55e84 be fully 2cd0df3385 digested before bd3b5b57df going to 53c95236ef bed. If not, fat 5bd382aef6 would tend to ba39620724 accumulate in unwanted 61f2459c70 places.d09cd7783c33e798
“I think I should do some stretching before bed because I ate too much. Can you help me?”87d5c9be0d67bd97
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“Of course.”3dced6b0f9135409
If he 279c814e72 was going f9050a96b9 to shower 5300f63fa5 anyway, it bbf319fae2 seemed better a865024fc4 to do eee6cf401d so after 3f7a7dac6a sweating. Sasya went out to c65655f334 the hallway and did f8d8fc355b jumping jacks while facing e56856417e the corridor wall. When he thought his 72c62c28a9 body had warmed up 7f95286124 enough, he sat with 668ed97b8c his back pressed tightly 16d6bd5227 against the wall, and 3a7e1e3730 Manuel, who had been 931d6a57f0 waiting, approached.dac60ce05d9e114f
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Sasya tried to spread his legs horizontally as wide as possible, close to 180 degrees against the wall. Manuel sat down in front and placed both feet on Sasya’s thighs.3e6f14325d9e6124
“Should I push?”fad556b386fdc1e8
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“Yeah.”9763d11a1600144c
“Tell me if you feel like throwing up.”66249fae661a6b71
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But when Manuel c2eb0cf01b started pushing down 8f3da314a7 on his thighs 6a59344b04 with his weight, c5b7ddcb00 Sasya was already b41dde8153 too pale to 99bfefbadb say anything. As he felt 5239f0d9d2 his muscles stretching 7cfedcb47b achingly, Sasya tried ca38192904 to relax the ae9452c94b strength in his a954574909 hip joints and 740ead1ea6 legs. When his f5c8f6b19e upper body e428a7ac20 threatened to 3d2c70cdcb fall forward 446cc7c1e7 from the 4565d2945d strain, Manuel a9479029df would push 5b632a5071 his shoulder 78582a55e8 with his c1321dd70a fingers to beffb3faf5 keep him 168af778bc against the f0971ef5cf wall.39b887ef2a85b92c
“Haa, haa…”8a6d952f1d99a774
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“Does it hurt?”14ff2a2ea4a754c1
“…”297234774303774c
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“You’re really strong, you know.”9a1cbac590e9d84f
Manuel gently stroked Sasya’s cheek. Although the caressing touch was annoying, Sasya was too exhausted to brush it off. He just slightly turned his head to the opposite side.ad48dbb4834ca6fb
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When he was younger, he could stretch his legs as he wished, but as he aged a year or two, his muscle mass increased, and sometimes his flexibility couldn’t keep up with his strength. This stretching method that Vadim had taught him was like torture while doing it, but once stretched, the quality of movement would be noticeably different the very next day.864aac4a38d500b8
Manuel clicked his tongue watching Sasya, who didn’t ask to stop even while breaking into a cold sweat. Guys who were forced to do this stretching when caught by Vadim would leave the practice room limping and crying. Sasya was the only one who voluntarily did this.2fc476ca6e59cd85
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“That’s enough, now…”af61bbd3f37b3ba4
Even after Manuel stopped pushing, Sasya couldn’t bring his legs together for a while and just lay collapsed forward, breathing heavily. When he stood up while rubbing his tingling thighs, his entire body was wet with sweat to the point where it was dripping down his spine. Manuel’s gaze was peculiar as he watched Sasya getting up with groans.f282a6864efedb66
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“Can I shower first?”4b7101c134e58e67
Sasya asked, thinking 93ec3299fa Manuel was watching cef5ced7a9 him without going f8ab69cfa8 into the room e4ac49b22f because he wanted 560e790e03 to use the 1a4ca00565 bathroom. Manuel nodded and ccb49ed192 went into the bbd690bb2b room.662d60bedb2463b7
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That night, someone crawled into Sasya’s bed.41638682d566e2b4
“Who… It’s cramped.”2bb0f8265c640109
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Sasya mumbled and turned over under the blanket. The intruder seemed to have snuck in from the feet. Someone’s hot breath scattered around his pelvis as they crawled up, rustling under the blanket. Sasya turned over on his stomach, passively avoiding the hot breath he felt on his bare skin.42efbc0aec24a27d
“Don’t…”3f9b36dd63fa91c6
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“…”f9acfff606fc0bdf
“Mmm…”d82f9b984ed08232
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Half-asleep, Sasya 62d4f1c06e felt a 1b5f8f174a hand groping 5fe84bc599 the sensitive e949ee2d74 inside of bfab67bb9a his thigh. The person’s palm was 5cf62ebd97 slightly damp, as if 4e07bcfc28 they sweated a lot. Still buried 751ad94009 under the 320ceb9aa3 blanket, Sasya 0a4f52095a blinked dazedly d9f7a23bc3 as the 7311eaa361 hand slipped 960f2ab6a3 into his fc2ee9f564 underwear. His vision was 3d668858df dark, and he 3bf5b61d18 wasn’t fully awake, f8360c3ab6 so he couldn’t 5dbfa8a091 tell if this 04a9e62a7b was a dream 5e59aaea5a or not.9d5dba37b5892c3f
This might be just 2c0aa7f595 another wet dream.3f082ffb51652592
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A very d1fb402546 pleasant dream.ccec1b5d9ca187b5
Sasya waited nervously 409595f979 for what would cabec05798 come next. In the past, he d0a09b52da had been excited just 9d2397ef57 by the feeling of b7557b7482 a large hand cupping 556c26d84d his cheek and a b23ecd3df1 kiss on his forehead. Could there be something 5460294886 even more stimulating than 143fb8aa77 that? It was 2ff75e0685 both exciting 9a052efbb8 and frightening.e6b289236e501d9a
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At that moment, a moist palm boldly slipped into his underwear. Then without hesitation, it grabbed the head. Caught off guard, a moan escaped from Sasya’s lips along with his breath. Startled by the sound from his own mouth, Sasya covered his mouth.ce36f66437449728
That’s when it happened.eb6eb8cac5081914
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“Who’s talking in their sleep? Just sleep!”491d74e5a7a486ec
José’s irritated voice, heavy with sleep, was heard.7b7056d350bc79db
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In an instant, all c15af3ab4f the sensations in his bb3e19cbf7 body became vivid. His own hand b370f41344 covering his mouth, 13f96eded4 his rapid breathing, fdc8efd36d the slightly dry e75ab80ca9 edge of the 021d7e1fbe blanket… and the 9333ff531c stranger squirming beneath b08c8f9af0 him.df3c8b8563db8867
This wasn’t a dream. It wasreal.89750f15c783d73b
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Sasya tried 6a988edd20 to sit ca30fe6f56 up in fedb7a560a shock, but a9901203fb someone was e2b9101cba faster, covering 411ed3faf5 his mouth 007c6795d6 with both 31e051fb28 hands. Pressed down d8b9f6ccc6 by the b2fe6efda0 strong grip, 6cd6291b65 Sasya looked fcbb5dc835 up at c64d3f41e4 the man 978f2ff792 who had 1c08ca1d14 pinned him.c783ec64d2911018
Manuel.bc751e985f70e1b5
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Their eyes c6e78f38a9 met under e1aae1a87d the blanket. Sasya, overwhelmed by 7dabd6629a fear and confusion, 2359f825e5 silently stared up 7a463f67f2 at his friend. They stayed 527beafad7 like that 1ee6225e20 until José’s 8ac91a5230 restless movements 90c22a8f88 subsided.1183197b8a336f29
Shortly after, when the room fell into silence, Manuel quietly slipped out of Sasya’s bed on his own.0d32a874779f4b09
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Even after Manuel ce36379467 had left, Sasya’s f6a2946a89 mind was too fd41688468 chaotic to sleep.9e0f3216ec12e11d
Unlike the dreams he 6500030e07 had about a man 2cb0446a2f with large hands, Manuel’s 957cd5e1de damp palm felt disgusting 50f0bf4ab4 and sent shivers down 0a8e1248fd his spine. He also cfed251b31 wondered why 8953115b21 Manuel had 8c90202c78 tried to 5abed22a99 touch his c1892c92b3 private parts.56707e4af2251eff
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He wanted to ask 005796f481 when he got the 338c825cc6 chance, but starting the ec24a13d7e very next morning, Manuel b07b2945db acted as if nothing f3efcca002 had happened. All weekend, he 9f38af6645 laughed and chatted 635a9607b4 with the others f80ee75547 as usual, behaving 47f5369b4f no differently than a18401d67d before.86a3c805ad61050d
Sasya’s mood, which had improved considerably after meeting Julian and Levin, plummeted again over the weekend. It wasn’t just because Manuel was avoiding him, but because he discovered a bruise on his thigh before going to bed on Sunday evening.1acd30ea89bc76bf
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Sasya sighed as 80fec79c0c he looked at 77a5b25ae0 the large bruise cb655e3075 on his inner a1007ea415 thigh. The lingering ache 5503193844 had ultimately resulted c6db6dbd2a in a muscle f3ce759b10 tear. If it got inflamed, 048d230e01 it would be a 9b8ea40dfc nuisance for months. Leaning one hand on 16f85cfe20 the closet door, Sasya e3e426641c tried a high sidedéveloppé2, then forcefully swung 0c6b264fcb his leg intoderrière3. As soon as 1f0f5eeb9d he bent his 5c43b2d8ab waist slightly, a 244e05ce22 sharp pain shot 1f6ab17622 through him.d7523cd5e0769e2c
It’s torn.ee6f77d335c57ef9
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With a cf61896862 gloomy expression, 37b1f77a78 Sasya berated 3dfa8f2d59 himself and b85d4c7cc0 piled hot bda6be4692 packs on c308f62c55 the bruised f03da85c08 area.d4eb95e7b4c071e4
“Who took all ea474597dc the hot packs c63ed1f161 that were here?”9038a2d7b38f0c15
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Someone shouted in disbelief, c6ef1a76c6 but Sasya pretended not 971880d76a to hear and covered 19c5d3c4ae his legs with the e4fbda6512 blanket. He fell asleep, praying 784a466fe4 that the inflammation wouldn’t ac4f5b13d6 get worse.ec1eaec4c3f3a5d7
But the pain was b07d2cab48 even worse the next 6ffde5ee9e morning.22674e85962af2bb
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I’m such d08b588cba an idiot.d060d98cd17e3114
Sasya gloomily rubbed 21f10447b3 his thigh. The heat c0f346ddb6 packs he d73864091f had greedily 799d89c73a taken and 49f01d1bd6 placed on aa98c9603d his legs 8dce879564 the night 9552c1fa25 before were 2ac79e0bd8 now scattered 2c7cb9da31 everywhere after 9433375534 tossing and bcd8c60f56 turning in c7d16a873e his sleep.61d7629ab5253f58
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If Vadim found out 37a1a4ce31 about the muscle tear, 9b3e59fe6e it wouldn’t end with f0153360aa just a scolding. He might ff179b76d5 even get ca9c002e67 slapped in ed82f81474 front of ee3556d64d everyone.271b4e3f8c9751c8
Sullen, Sasya arrived 01d8bbbc7e at the locker d72128966a room later than aa3d5fe811 the others and 7481f024cc secretly undressed in 55d49e5afb the corner. To hide 89fba72c31 the bruise, 3eb257836a he opted cd7b481964 for dark 11fae2101f tights that 532044699e reached his b91aea32de ankles instead d9b5cbc846 of his 2fdae9989f usual shorts. He also didn’t forget 212afe0983 to wear two pairs c747b88b3f of socks inside the 5645a263b7 oversized shoes Josée had fcf8f570c0 given him.5ca9dfb808ddee5d
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Just as he fa883827a4 was about to 9ca90392b8 roll up his 7a2d182923 clothes and lock 434060712f the locker, his 2160886d0b gaze landed on 9c7fea2dfe a small note 327461dcdf stuck inside.1c8d36b5adc950dc
Sasya’s gaze lingered on the small note stuck inside the locker. Inside was something he had no memory of storing.91a8ec707ca620c9
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Sasya took out 12b5cc816c the small package d25cd599f6 with the note 640b48c927 attached. Turning the transparent 5ee3e85560 package around, he 7a293e65c7 saw a chocolate 7a48151e41 bar, a carton c3063f1dc0 of milk, and c60beaff04 a bagel sandwich 074d5d0bef wrapped in plastic. The bagel, cut in 6851ab7882 half, revealed creamy cheese 6ba789a2db and bright red salmon 3a737f5261 spilling out.7b202dee3384f7e8
Did Manuel leave this?0a6512c6ee3e814e
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Maybe he did 54185e48e6 this as an 2411683912 apology.56c1205dabda575e
Come to think 0a775c250a of it, Julia 36c11fb2dd had told him c4bb764d96 to gain weight b7f2f6464d just last week. He felt 7768c0e133 embarrassed realizing 3d9a7261ac he had 9b97e9e4ce almost skipped 0c32ddbd97 breakfast out 317a54f722 of habit a7b51b3138 again. And salmon? Salmon was one of 4111d1fd8d Sasya’s favorites, but it e26014f26b was hard to store, 767116a345 so he rarely got 6bada1e3f3 to eat it. Feeling a sudden hunger, 4488332fa6 Sasya took the food 4640c37e4e package and stood by bf190e2adf the window.ccdaad3ef429b6bd
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As soon as 0d4ebbdee2 he opened the 9bcede3345 plastic, he stuffed dc28d0ff03 the bagel into a750f48276 his mouth, swallowing 7f8a7ce489 it almost whole 4576f1d85c before washing it b71557854b down with milk. The bagel was ee2f2604ee delicious. The salmon 6c32674897 was fresh, a003f70ba7 and the f9b011764f cream cheese b120689105 had a 75d58f7358 rich, milky aa90d8aa7f flavor.e14e24bf9b0542a0
Just then, some 4545baf6fc girls passing by 9f73228d48 for their morning 1e8eedbf71 class glanced at aa704389d3 Sasya, who was 94f065dff9 quickly eating his 9e50403194 breakfast, and whispered. “He eats so fast.” efb89789d6 Light laughter filled the b173a4803a air as Sasya’s ears 956b56f704 turned red, his gaze 06bc535da9 fixed outside the window.9650829ffc28c4fb
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In less than 8d93d2d4ce five minutes, Sasya 9e504abfe1 had finished all c089805043 the food. He stuffed the trash 46a4599f4c into his gym bag 9886a913d1 and headed to the c041314a5a studio. He felt 465cb1d011 a bit 1ada6256f5 queasy from 668921efbb eating too 6d78f64da1 quickly.ceefd9cab5ef38c6
Inside, students 5f97c9f6e6 who had 59201f410f arrived earlier 9543fc7272 were scattered 512b40decc around, stretching.8773a0801567b239
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Sasya cautiously moved 218633f538 to an empty 7c1e85902c spot and tried 1f3c0b600f stretching his left 8443563096 leg, which had cd4abf02c8 the torn muscle, 6e2fad079e by pulling it 2a1470fcc3 back. But in his d1006d4c6a haste, he overdid 3ed257cc5d it without properly e42c6dba5b warming up. As soon 7b73cf46e7 as he c563715829 lifted his 62bae2f77e leg to 2fe8441c55 the usual 1ae14d2e97 angle, a 833010b462 sharp pain b1ca07f6e0 brought tears 26c89e358e to his 2713633054 eyes.abc9db0f1960ceac
The inflammation wasn’t 9b3ca57c6b getting better; in 91f34ebfa7 fact, it was d243aabf1f getting worse. He would probably have 7ee2a44cf7 to visit the physical cb6ed2f56b center in the afternoon.07da1fdae83a874e
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“Good morning, everyone.”eedaa6d538a00909
Julia lightly c6233b634e knocked on 8f5497e07d the studio 36c1ec062d door. Sasya and 6c6f97b94a the other 6bda2979de students turned c0c64848d3 their attention b52864f964 to her.d11d6d9aa837f57e
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With a bright smile, 9bf9dbd487 Julia announced, “There will fd9d3f63b1 be guests observing today’s 4d1e604451 class. As you all 8515751594 know, our school f9eb03e5d6 operates with the 12c7905937 support of many 0bb8a317f8 sponsors. Some of 8358b9da21 those who a0ca2af9dd enjoy watching 6f070c81a6 your growth 18aa8ec37c will be fe0c43df0d visiting today.”6674a0513ac596c0
The students murmured 9e6a4f194c excitedly. Even though it e90527b05f was the same 1e79de364d routine practice, having 8cb78f8576 guests made it c7b8516763 different. A lively atmosphere 8221515630 quickly filled the 7058350cb5 studio.1cd1e08a5f2ac26c
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“They won’t disrupt your c7168e148e practice. They’ll watch f8c8bae3f2 through the 934b5eb39c windows outside f61185b290 or check 2ce63eefbe the school 1a29996bdb facilities. Just be the 52745bc60d good, hardworking students 045e2ef8de you always are.”3aa7788cef42b27c
Sasya stared at Julia 6d3612792e with a stiff expression.872e9947291f5e06
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It was today?He finally 5e219e6020 remembered Vadim’s e7f02977ff stern warning a5831a1cdd from last 402c2ce13d weekend.fbeb5d0a2f97b4b1
Vadim then entered be2fbecd1f the room, not c70c3ea1c3 giving Sasya time 18c193dc5d to recover from 39287d1efb his shock. The music for the 1e66383d47 first exercise,plié4, began to cb5c16714a play.2756294db265222b
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“First position! Start with pliés.”43c91ec848191232
Sasya shook his ac107c59a5 aching thigh and ca5216b256 assumed first position.213dffabda8bbbe6
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‘He’s not the type 58a53978e3 to be interested in 8e6967375e things like this. Not like 8302f28564 the general 0eff1d7052 public who 051dc413bc are desperate e496cf4d4b to see dc270f6f6f ballet stars.’54d31175f69664aa
‘Mr. Clements? Who’s that now?’49ab91b98cebabf0
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Sasya took a 6654ea5423 deep breath and e22fae4b5b gradually calmed down.4accc2a8c212c70f
No matter 335367c8f8 how he 946ce68810 thought about caa9b0eef2 it, the e10c336c59 chances of 03bce4d355 Mr. Clements coming 7ee8d1cddd to see 163b5b70a3 him were ae83c48885 slim. Besides, there were 60 34f786ea2e students in the morning 806a98d336 class, and it wouldn’t 2ebadc68bf be easy to spot fd940ad47e him among the similarly a57f11ca6b dressed students.f1e4727493d5261e
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Sasya shook off 6c608905b5 his distracting thoughts 6d92570079 and quickly focused 97007a52c0 on the movements. Soon, he forgot 0b26630d62 about the presence 521de455f0 of the guests.56f1011c5a57b1ef
However, the c33cc9d13b pain he 61cc9303c2 had forgotten 691cafae49 returned during a4939210f4 agrand battement5. As he lightly kicked 6bd1075d27 his leg, a sharp, 38d70c2a3f unbearable pain shot through 26f286663d him. Biting his b717044277 lip, Sasya 6ead03a165 continued the d5e104096f movements, hoping bc28207d53 Vadim’s gaze 3dca04a555 would pass b40dcc0cb7 over him.3c0e81a2a85e512f
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“Now, the other 50739b1367 side. Let me 63da5317c6 explain again. From fifth position, three ca9cc0012b times forward, once to 4349e1b4ab the side. On the 3279ca0f54 third kick 89f03f649e to the 140e7480c3 side, sweep 50c1ef387d your leg 7d4add5959 and derrière…”8d097f83a900e984
As Vadim explained, some e37d6edbc8 students glanced out the 04e45db051 window. Sasya, wiping the 8437995d26 sweat from his 63400fc9c9 chin, followed their b518d28f93 gaze. Outside the long 4a25f176a9 rectangular window, a 99b8df4942 group of men 8f57d62e73 in navy, gray, 5e2887a897 and black suits b830879476 could be seen. They were likely the a580337911 sponsors Julia had mentioned.8aa1c4a9852de22d
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“Préparation!”bb0d159ad9f7eed1
At Vadim’s shout, ef4696258e Sasya prepared inen bas6. As he 8d3cf40739 lowered his 5ef0c0ac38 gaze slightly a21b9d00fa with his 6c6e82b976 hands, a 2f1dd43073 golden blur 30f120125b passed through 87a01e4921 the corner bfe06bfe02 of his 02909d0970 vision.19e543a7d2507dec
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Blond hair?f4e6c291195d3661
“Forward, with power! Higher!”43b6518a3bcb493f
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Sasya looked back out 8a454d4ac2 the window. The blond hair, faintly cb3a6d44e5 glowing in the dark 3e5d9db2a9 hallway, immediately caught his 85de258a60 eye.19e3b83582bd2711
A tall fdc545cca4 man, towering 9e3008558b over the 94bd7e93a6 others, with 55860df745 broad shoulders 3bea3845c1 wrapped in 4688ce4668 a dark 6494a57446 suit.7e7f281aa4763747
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Karel Clements.99dce7fbab2333f0
He was 877b476086 standing with 8a38044501 his back 493d0d4fe5 to the b1c3560527 studio, turned 0dd152a34c away.a63ca18f887e5f93
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Sasya stared 284ce00c3d blankly at 182f81307b the man’s 2dfd3edacb back. Unlike the other middle-aged e8be9fc392 men in suits who bd11cf684e looked somewhat shabby, his 03a9950bbe sponsor stood straight, his 0e8d48405c posture impeccable. The back of his 5b2d942575 neck, clean and austere, 013f014cb6 showed he was listening 7accb0b9dd intently to Julia.da44383df4c0084f
It had been 1dff98b71a a year since 329019d46c he last saw 09b17afbe8 his sponsor.b7621198b1742ea8
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When the man 25b3ea29d4 turned and looked 0ef3ef1925 through the window, 4ebaec1a68 Sasya’s heart raced 5be7400bb2 wildly. It might 41f798ecd6 have been cf73be8a33 his imagination, 9c67630ea2 but their 67ef33d150 eyes seemed 203e435950 to meet.805ef7ec123618b4
The sponsor’s 65807dc8a0 gaze swept b02b8024e1 across the 0c5230b526 studio in b09621f2c6 an instant. The illusion of eye 164ea52153 contact was likely because 7563d28369 Sasya had been staring 251603b9fa at him intently. After slowly scanning a4546bbd44 the room, the 845a496ec0 man turned his 5347e45870 back again. Leaning slightly to listen 7a8aaa0a60 to Julia, who was 5b97fc0fa1 much shorter, his sponsor ba2bcf291b looked as kind as 7f758e5c87 he had during their 8d990ab35d first meeting.350b28a9e4dcf249
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“Sasya! Where’s your point?”bfba8a04e8913c4c
Startled by 49339b7366 Vadim’s voice 472bf32472 close by, 7f3b04244d Sasya quickly 14495cb0ec extended his 6af72dc601 arm higher 28cf47fe10 inen haut7.1818096ba8fc8a29
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“Strengthen your back, lift your lower abdomen!”29114af4c58c9d15
Vadim slapped Sasya’s 7088b3da6c back and stomach 9e577f0040 as he spoke, 0f8db3c04c his strikes as 1809ebde67 sharp as ever, 95b350e621 bringing tears to 6d83655286 Sasya’s eyes. His momentary lapse in cdf4913646 concentration had been exposed 159419ae15 by his sloppy posture. Sasya tightened 8921dfd365 his chest, 6cc787378d took a 39c47bb7a6 deep breath, d4897bf459 and tensed beed174ec0 his body 022dae5e11 again.30f271951602ef18
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Fixing his 0921347a1f gaze forward, c56d5fa505 he saw 74fd72f611 his own 6b52077c28 red ears dd945eed8c in the f51fbfe800 mirror. He felt 3916ad5440 deeply disappointed f492f61e76 in himself, 40f13cd1f3 thinking his d4ab621c89 sponsor might 1329346bf3 have seen 547d9839bf his weak, 2aaa9d5998 sloppy pose 919f27c4a9 with a 6663bc8998 loose body 7f02545fac and sagging 23a8c27fc7 hips.38ee7a8ad3005827
With that, the barre 4f4cf5cdd5 work ended with a a0bd0c675e battement, and a short 9895dc5441 break was given. The students leaned f2d7611ad5 against the barre 906ccc2b58 to stretch or 9e69443cd7 drank from their 19a09aafcd water bottles. Sasya also staggered eaad54048c to his bag 476aa025a5 by the wall 74cc16b686 to find his d49004b987 bottle of water. But all da0694208e he felt e0645a2e85 at his d53f2e3a41 fingertips were 00a8991bb4 the remnants 824b39c0ff of the 359949782f bagel sandwich eb2e777e57 he had 0e34e179af devoured earlier.6ee2407d77305440
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While Sasya was looking e92027ac0a around wondering if he 731e08e156 could get a drink d3c470a4aa from someone, Vadim clapped 819c7da4e3 his hands twice in cb22ef59b9 the air. At that signal, the 889d49243c students paired up and c9aeadaf47 swiftly lifted the barre, f29f7296ea moving it to a 053b863f91 corner of the practice 2fc93682f2 room.9fb19677b33812f8
“Starting with adagio. Fifth position.”1bfaf9cd90be1094
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And so, 19c700b2e1 without even bd7c727aa1 a moment 0a94205240 to take caecb55502 a sip 8fa4b350ea of water, 2f9a23ab2b thecenter work8began.094aa5489367acb6
Sasya sighed as he stepped into the center. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that all barre work was merely a warm-up for center work. As the real practice began, Sasya stood behind Vadim, who was demonstrating the adagio sequence, and memorized the movements with his eyes, while trying to ignore the feeling of his hastily eaten breakfast sitting heavily in his stomach.dc8ec6fd1a8c7038
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Just then, the front 814abeee9f door of the practice 631b41e1a4 room opened with a aa2ba606b2 click. Though it b8857e0df9 was opened ca27b5bfc1 very quietly fe3a9ce518 to avoid 7301c52dc8 disrupting them, f5aedbe5e7 the students a6eb5e10bc naturally glanced e9a639b07d toward the 6ee7e66ac5 door.a094087346b9d21a
“Didn’t they say they wouldn’t come into the practice room?”0bd8c93cddc1c30e
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“Who knows. Guess they want to see up close.”113922106649afe2
“It’s going to smell of sweat though.”466d55f8a8c428ad
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Sasya could hear José 433581c505 and Manuel whispering behind cb405506dc him. At their words, he 5cdbb3f4e9 unconsciously clenched his hands bce9d7c72b together while looking at 7dcb799e78 the open door. Sure enough, the 0b0291db59 sponsors were entering 18f0ffb646 the practice room 7eb7283a0c one by one.2d54ef03d8c65530
“First group. Préparation, allongé…”22447d6aef5d70ec
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Vadim’s voice was barely registering in Sasya’s ears anymore. He was only curious about whether Karel Clements was among the sponsors coming in. If so, this would be the first time showing him his ballet. His heart was pounding frighteningly at the thought of the sponsor watching him.c04cad8efccbfcf5
“Passé, développé. Flow smoothly forward into plié.”317a1d6e2082249a
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However, before 4d4fc227be his sponsor e95745a64e could enter, c4ca8b3588 the practice a94d1ea1d9 room door b3d135a9c2 closed.e1ec1b7abc806617
‘Why didn’t he come in?’9dfa0cd988ea8e65
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No matter how hard he looked, Karel wasn’t there – only middle-aged men in shabby suits stood lined up against the wall with their arms crossed.1684ff053821503b
Feeling deeply disappointed 789f866abe inside, Sasya firmly 6e73556c36 planted his foot e3c7deaa2c to begin anen dedans9turn. His body, 123e725414 propelled by 76082f562e force, spun 9e4ba35ec7 quickly like 7242d5cb78 a spinning 2b3f8df2bd top, completing b65dab4eed exactly three 3db28b7234 full turns. When Vadim demonstrated, 2acd1c7a8d it was one b3ac2b109f turn, and even c5294e2f68 the students who c25fb2161c turned more only d4dc031410 did double turns. However, Sasya, who maintained d051fe3c9e perfect balance even after bdfe2043fb completing the turns, extended e4aec08cf3 his leg long into 733e2ab53d a pose.c910c8f38cecd824
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The sponsors a1d1eb4b1c let out a39681c300 small gasps fd7639e053 upon noticing 90e097d07e this particularly 07f165aa03 eye-catching student. Perhaps it was 465a7c4779 natural for attention acc52aa714 to be drawn 69cddad23e to such a 73369b3ec6 standout. Meanwhile, Vadim 36a8c5018b gave a eaa76b0cb6 long look e300ee3d40 at Sasya dc163a1834 as he 0f3501d3b9 walked back bac7b74d0a to the 105fc1a1cd back of 02e871628a the room 0b8f616d9b with his fc13561f35 head bowed 8e1baa65c2 after finishing 11dac95f7d the sequence.1f43b7c0aa4d670b
‘That kid is taking out his frustration.’516f1dda765a1835
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Vadim clicked his tongue and pretended not to notice Sasya’s behavior.f8700627418fdbff
The center 8be788fd67 work sequence 9970be94d9 became increasingly 87224d8010 complex, moving 49c2fb5696 fromtendu10to small jumps bca517869c tobalancé11. After completingsoutenu12andpiqué13turns, Vadim 739d06a45c finally instructed f1b3dbc168 them to 4cbad9ca8a do grand 188537eb49 jumps.2d18e4c2be82b3f2
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“First group, step forward! Manuel, stand a bit further from Sasya.”7b15e49b88e44cde
At Vadim’s direction, five students including Sasya repositioned themselves with proper spacing.f246a73fa069b391
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Grand jumps were Sasya’s favorite sequence. Not only did grand jumps signal that class was nearing its end, but he also loved the feeling of floating in the air.c402cfb9f2792023
Sasya prepared his 802ad51806 pose while mentally 0eb3bae50c reviewing the corrections eefec304fc he often received. Following the music, e7b88db04e he gracefully threw 813ed2cdbe back his arms 175ad43208 intombé pas de bourrée14, took off 9da86ba82e with aglissade15, and f1e8827aa8 then powerfully 8420436e42 launched into d255b2e22f the air 4f40a13b5e using the 4f544a670f leg that 25828920d0 had been ca1a8f267a fully pointed. At that moment, he 77a0d1d985 released all tension from 9e827f0c1a his upper body and 265f661a87 went intocambré16.bf1fd004b77e44f8
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Though he felt pain 336235c4bc again when his legs b78cfc26df fully split in the 03ef2f2ce6 air, Sasya silently executed b3b52a0a3f all movements without missing 957aa57545 any.060bf6c1940562d8
“Haah, haah…”4445424465cf998d
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After striking the final 076f836c02 arabesque pose, Sasya moved cbdfda3a82 aside for the second fc9c84497b group running in. He intended to d219c38691 make a wide 3c3d9d58d9 circle around the d2716c8f7c practice room toward 5670f021c0 the corner.8931d8573fe4128a
That’s when it happened.f9a541ab40eb15ba
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Click.95ab665e9ce280b0
“Ah…!”e7ec307d3a800ffd
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The door suddenly opened ff6679f0e4 right in front of 67d10f76b8 him, and he almost c898efb6ff hit his forehead. Sasya quickly 885ed21ecb stepped back.1831a9056e64ffa6
“Oh, I’m sorry.”6fb511b5e3cd67a2
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It was a a39d6cdbbf deep and resonant 1c3fea852a voice.a5b4302c05245673
Sasya looked up at eec9f28380 the person who had 1bf3ce4825 apologized to him.a6ae7ca71b9e6ed7
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‘Mr. Clements.’a121e65a05d3067e
Sasya could only e2aca9e5f3 look up at 4c116addce the man, speechless.e7bfa552f833eae5
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Face to face, he was much taller than he had appeared from afar, and his build was like a mountain in its enormity. Moreover, that scent – the sharp fragrance of cologne that had wafted to his nose when they’d nearly collided less than a hand’s width apart. While he had always disliked the cologne José sprayed to mask his sweat in the practice room, his sponsor’s scent, seemingly held in check by his restrained suit, was very pleasant. He seemed like a real adult.da56728c0c2c229c
In that moment, Sasya e0faf22687 realized something: you could 3eb8391754 only notice this smell 3c182d40db when you were very 7cc1e3397f close to someone. Thinking that his 24d1fd48eb sponsor might have 6881c8bea0 caught his faint e50650b0a0 smell of sweat, 93144d62f9 Sasya quickly stepped 6780c99fde back.f58eb124a365033f
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Sasya quietly looked up at his sponsor with his pounding heart. But after his polite apology, he quietly closed the practice room door and leaned against it. Then, as if he had already forgotten Sasya’s existence, he crossed his arms and watched the other students doing grand jumps.7c8064682ae60ceb
‘Could he have forgotten my face?’11fca679ac11c574
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Sasya glanced at his sponsor while returning to the back of the practice room. Metal occasionally reflected soft light from his wrist. The heavy watch, which looked weighty even at a glance, had a seemingly overwhelming design, but it suited perfectly under the man’s large hands with visible veins on the back. Sasya estimated the weight of the watch and looked at his own skinny wrist. If he wore something like that, it would only look bad, like it’s too much for him.d6649353848f699a
In any case, a7dc8ef501 his sponsor was f78d3a62cf quite intently watching 02c8debf8c the students practice.326096c629f0dfce
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And Sasya anxiously hoped that Vadim would instruct them to do grand jumps one more time. Of course, that didn’t happen.b22298ba31867704
“Alright, practice ends here.”342a1204925ab523
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Sasya felt bad. He resented wherever Mr. Clements had been during c6c1aff3ac the not-so-short center work e3b33fb8a4 time. He was also quickly a61a47cf73 filled with frustration at 0c96ee6e43 not being able to dadb346c43 show him any of 3ef96a4df5 his dancing.6baffba8f24c1771
But then,a8de4d4e113098f8
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“Sasya, come forward.”47ec533314018dc5
Vadim said.ecbd9ca19729006b
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At the sudden instruction, 7172f5edbc Sasya whirled his head a166d5c7c3 toward Vadim. He was beckoning b5406cfc4b to him with 805ec31d4b his finger.6c8e006259280bc1
“You haven’t forgotten Le Corsaire solo variation, right?”2c8915a66c82c950
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Sasya nodded reflexively d5605c24b6 as he moved 3fd0a6033d forward.38716385cf0938ad
José, watching Sasya walk 8a323f726b to the center from a42462dd75 behind, showed with his 4ff38a1e53 face his troubled mind. Le Corsaire variation was 99d3c16e3e the required piece for d094dc55ea the competition José was 00fa3e6d3c planning to enter, and b62fc2fdda he was currently taking a97e8427c6 private lessons for it.42d8aa4734706113
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The fact that Vadim, knowing this, specifically called Sasya to perform in front of the sponsors meant he judged that Sasya’s dancing, even without lessons, was more worth showing.29fc0babcad621d4
Manuel, who c7e9b26eab had been b542607615 quietly watching 60bb70742e José, silently c4198ce34d patted his 8ed6e8e05a shoulder. José shrugged and c0a6ef11d4 focused on Sasya, 3011597552 who was already 1622f56d1a in the starting 4abf84dce5 pose. The difference df7bdeb7ee in who ec517cc39b had natural 1a720959b6 talent was d207f490dd clear just f9e57a516a with their bb2d6f2d1b body. It was something even fbedc2908f someone who knew nothing becd6f52e6 about ballet could see. It was 27e784de93 something everyone 7cfe73af84 knew so 74d30828ba well that f66b8e3983 there was bd0c570dfe no point 3f8bb4c506 in getting 5e5b0fb3a8 depressed over 946ad1a481 it.948e1dc7f9373ed4
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Meanwhile, Sasya, cb2331594c who had 5628c69d96 walked to ba1d68bfd5 the center 76d8bb0025 while glancing 0c2f8dc2d9 at Karel, 48a701abfc was gradually a8bf89b63e overcome with 0e9373881a an awkward 4c6c4e4226 feeling. While he 41adab3f79 wanted to ccfc767f6b show his 01f72e33cc dancing, the 95e41983fd level was 60b30d8d67 too high. The latter 84d65962d3 part of c0f229fc43 Le Corsaire 02891b4bc1 variation repeatedly 174be4f6ee required high 0c6b5a31fd jumps with 6d67a80489 full splits 92d6893164 in the aec6428500 air.cdf71b4d0360f734
It was clear he wouldn’t be able to jump properly if he was conscious of the pain.de9b0fd7ba48d450
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Sasya swallowed dryly as bdba59c4ea he looked straight ahead.a6da638e14328bc4
Vadim approached the 76c6fb0ba6 audio system to d62962ee3b play the music. The moment the 31fe4d50f5 familiar introduction began 6e4328171c to play, Sasya 9448b789ac looked at Karel. And this time, their 82ea86b3c4 eyes truly met.d934cb135de421a7
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But it wasn’t as thrilling as he had imagined.1a0450124ba60428
That was because now 63fafbade9 everyone there had no 02d7f051c4 choice but to watch a4343fb159 him. His sponsor would 1778368186 have given the f9dd68e8e8 same look if 03612eb5f4 José or Manuel 51ecfeff89 were standing in c81777d0f2 his place. Sasya felt 49596837d8 indescribable emotions.356bf4e8e11836e4
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‘I have to do this right.’e43d3fa4d4cdf194
The moment dc79d8fba6 the music 38aeb2335d started, Sasya 4933741cc6 took a 5726354d3c quick breath a8d3b10c2b and ran 8c8fcddcd2 with large 29cb05fdb5 steps.365a8e4d0183c3f2
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The jumps needed to d75b2d8bcd be light enough to 97d79ebb58 seem weightless, yet precise. Doingattitude balance17 was needed to stretch the arms while using the full length of the music… However, at the moment of the jump he had been worried about, sure enough, intense pain shot through his leg. It was a numbing pain that ran from deep in his hip joint to his toes.26d179d7e66c2970
The poor quality of the landing made the next few steps shaky. The same thing happened when he jumped the second time. Vadim, who briefly entered his field of vision, already looked furious…6a051bfde536ff55
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It was a performance fdae687066 far from deserving praise.84ffd03a5059800f
Panting heavily while 5ba604d808 holding his final c99556832b pose, Sasya slowly 6e547b1dc1 rose from his 26b01a061c position without even 5cf40ae304 being able to 336bef65fc look toward the ddfe4ef8ec sponsors. Small applause 783337988d broke out 2280e002cd among them.12fcd28d4aed8df2
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“Stop that.”1a4fb99f1f2f6d8f
Vadim shook his head 8163c7ff6d as he walked toward 49da640bd8 Sasya.7d206ad86f41ab6f
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“Your dance wasn’t worthy of applause. You know that too, don’t you, Sasya?”920a2d4178c33413
Intimidated, Sasya nodded. His heart felt like it would burst under Vadim’s sharp gaze.2f59eaba796c4d80
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“It was terrible. Everything was wrong! Your leg was too high while doing the attitude turn, and the turn was so fast you ended up wobbling. And always here! You should land with strength in your abdomen and waist while bending your knees. Because you don’t put enough strength in your abdomen, the steps after your jumps aren’t clean. I have to point out the same things to you every time.”ae881f5ec2a08de5
Fortunately, he hadn’t noticed the thigh injury, but conversely, these corrections came from being too conscious of that area.a4e02b558b52b8ca
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He had been 3df1c531c9 scolded publicly in 654ef2b912 front of everyone. Having his sponsor witness e62cc5a028 this made Sasya wish 6470fca211 he could die right 80ff52676b then. He hated 8e1d5cd54c himself for ec0ba4c2cb getting injured b47dbf24d7 from being 3e83ebff4e too ambitious 674a70da9c with stretching, e6cf22d56e and then 1b190b00b5 ruining everything 47de538060 at the 2df728d3d3 most important fbe630e110 moment because 0ac135b548 of it.f4c743b23b9df06f
“Nngh…”a4d7cae60c3ca188
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“What are you crying for? There’s a limit to how shameful you can be.”c829622c5b660b3c
Large tears were already rolling down Sasya’s cheeks and jaw. His shoulders shook intermittently as he sobbed.c5e9768d09e84997
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The girls whispered among f8353889b3 themselves as they watched 3e85c25257 Sasya, who had finally 59f874ea50 broken down in tears 623b5378d4 in front of so f45232b05a many people.a35079e90f84b802
“Oh no. That must be so embarrassing…”aaf065d576127c7f
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“I don’t think he did that badly.”ccd97caba4e1d389
“Right. He was amazing.”0bda546fbdc92fa9
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“I can’t even do that.”8034b50726a7eb3e
Sasya resented 190a2df6e7 Vadim for aa6ce717a7 humiliating him 9b4f63b1db in front f9cf245961 of everyone, 3702db75cf and his 03fc15f58c tears wouldn’t 1193dd5937 stop. Vadim clicked his tongue 24cca724dc and left, while Sasya 4a42ec0b06 roughly wiped his eyes 27bea4303a with the back of 9e62750412 his hand and went 2e1e4cf651 to the corner of f2204aaf88 the practice room.fc3570e60d7cf3d0
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And only c618c32e14 after gathering 8b5a931d06 his bag b04d637261 did Sasya 2a114ccc96 realize that 6f31eb1efb the sponsors f10fd15508 had already 3d4ae33501 left the 20c2c2cd4e practice room.57906a3638647a91
Sasya’s heart sank.8e7e48c781d11b5a
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‘What if he thinks the money for my scholarship is being wasted?’0a79a3421a3af06b
Sasya frantically burst out 1b28d949c7 of the practice room. Looking left and f06c3bab9e right down the a76d486096 corridor, there was dc65568770 no sign of 2af7b1e6bb his sponsor. Sasya ran noisily to 7abe7584ae the nearest staircase and 22a9abd2b3 sprinted down to the 4980ab5439 first floor without taking 438b36493f a breath.a1c2123b8b44fa88
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With only the thought that he couldn’t let him leave like this, even though he didn’t know what he wanted to say after catching up with him.f578ed9d70f29bc1
And when he 404caa9b39 reached the first 88f4897c1e floor, Sasya spotted 6206a9007a his sponsor standing 4bdb979660 in the lobby.67789119ef5fa4bf
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“Haa, haa… Mr. Clements!”79c4fd8e192fd780
A strained voice escaped from Sasya’s mouth. The man who had been talking with someone turned around with a puzzled expression.29ad996f3d6625d3
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Sasya, running without looking 7ba7a63966 at the floor, tripped 82d1635a44 on the carpet and 5e1eb06cbd fell with a thud. His knee 3c50019d42 hit the 4cd3dfd9b5 floor first, d06538db61 and it 0d17f4474f was clearly 1cb439cc9d scraped, throbbing 24492396bd madly. But more than 3d479a5837 the pain, Sasya df0d5469b5 jumped up in e31c2892a3 embarrassment and limped 9b55c772a9 towards the sponsor.30761da29509f025
He seemed 325cc2ef6f a bit 7e325ec0f0 startled seeing c2a232f7c2 Sasya running 81ad6d29b6 towards him cc8644deb1 so dramatically.d09d2e5ba2f01cad
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“…Are you alright? Doesn’t it hurt?”06b1000960392be9
“Mr. Clements, it’s been a while. I… uhm… I…”995bc62159d666dc
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The man’s eyes were fixed on Sasya’s knee. Following his gaze, Sasya discovered straw and dust clumps stuck to his knee. When he hastily tried to brush them off, he felt something damp on the surface of his tights. It seemed that blood was coming from where his knee had been scraped when he fell.2fe09f2ad9b5e2f9
“You should go to the infirmary right away. You seem hurt.”a8f633654d4522cd
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“It’s nothing. This doesn’t even count as painful. Uhm…”92b51b880e0a1d80
Feeling hurt that the sponsor was trying to send him away, Sasya shook his head insisting he would be fine even if he were dying. The unknown man who had been talking with his sponsor until just now stood beside him, looking down at Sasya. Under the silent urging that seemed to say ‘if you have business, speak quickly,’ Sasya blurted out the first thing that came to mind among the many things he had thought to say when meeting the sponsor.d2a6d16b37e8d1a2
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“Thank you for sending me the birthday card.”74623d29b9303f63
“…”3f421d4b81567191
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The sponsor’s expression remained unchanged after hearing Sasya’s words. Sasya watched his reaction carefully, trying to figure out if he had said something wrong.027385b8046d8cb6
“Ah, I’m Sasya. Sasya Shchedrin. Alexandre Shchedrin.”a3c61ed00ef019b2
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“…”c074980c3c8063ab
“Uhm… did you see my emails?”55b230dec4a786d1
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“…”4f9f00925adc23cb
“I’d send emails sometimes. A few times… no, more than ten times.”1ec8788c86534152
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But because of the sponsor’s expression after those words, Sasya realized that his previous expressionless reaction had actually been better. This was because after hearing Sasya’s words, the sponsor merely crossed his arms and made a sound like ‘Hmm…’fec8c039878d32f1
His brow was even slightly furrowed. At his face that seemed somewhat displeased, Sasya’s courage shrank to the size of a bean.36cc286753fa5182
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The sponsor, keeping his 93a3dd45e0 gaze fixed on Sasya, 7ca87dcf86 turned slightly toward the 3693c482f3 man standing beside him.2ed2e3940433eaaa
“About the emails…”ca05907b1c6b0177
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Sasya’s heart began to pound. Somehow it felt like his heart was pounding in his injured knee too.a576e4db412fa700
“I’ll have them f58eae6f89 checked through my 2a9d699d1e secretary.”3f3459456d6937b2
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And he gave a 1e898aa838 brief instruction to the 6ffc97af83 man standing beside him, 5ee75c653f shifting his gaze.eea0a535ae51cd34
“George, check on that.”5e3883c3c0aa3231
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‘Ah…’2a12b72b83321c50
Sasya groaned inwardly with disappointment. It was clear that his sponsor had never read any of the emails he had sent until now. It wasn’t even certain if he remembered Sasya, the boy to whom he had personally given his business card.9a6c86071545bfbd
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And then c1ee25b01e the sponsor, 5581c5fb20 overlaying a 81a0cd6ffe kind smile f832de7267 on his 15baea7b18 expression like 665a7a6436 the one a888e29fdd he had 778b2b19df shown at 8c19852e7b their first a916592af7 meeting, said,e81705204c5f6ca3
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an appointment.”768263fbab6711bd
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“Ah…”920eb1c61af1d6b0
“Do go to the infirmary quickly.”e9f4d8e61ed6e6c1
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The sponsor lightly patted Sasya’s shoulder as if dusting it off and turned away.4a04862da0232d19
It took less 83520efdee than 10 seconds d467afbc45 for the long-legged aec36fd17f man to completely c3f1d2dfe5 exit the lobby 0e44223545 with his steady 105c40cd6a strides.1101659ab8b936e8
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After the bfc8583876 sponsor left 71b444caf2 so anticlimactically, 2171c1f0b2 Sasya immediately dd5cd18f9f ran to 526b058fed the bathroom. And unable to 57a8138c96 bear the fullness 9298938521 in his upper 596d46f64b stomach that had f394569f50 been bothering him be16d76645 since before practice, a23ba7a342 he threw up 54daa80763 everything he had 31a3278e5f eaten for breakfast.307a4193ea24e17c
9f77d581753e91de
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Footnotes
- a jump in which a dancer springs from one foot to land on the other with one leg forward of their body and the other stretched backwards while in the air.
- A smooth, gradual unfolding of the leg.
- The dancer, standing on one leg, lifts the other leg back in a bent position.
- Bending of the knees.
- In which the leg is lifted to hip level or higher and held straight.
- Arms in a low position.
- Arms in a high position, above your head.
- Not having a barre to help you.
- Circular ballet movement of arms or legs leading toward the body or of the position in which the toes are turned in.
- The working leg is extended along the floor until only the tip of the toe remains touching the floor.
- Alternation of balance, shifting the weight from one foot to the other. Balancé may be done crossing the foot either front or back.
- Turn step that can be done on either demi or full pointe.
- Executed by stepping directly on the pointe of the working foot in any desired direction with the other foot raised in the air.
- To have your weight on your back leg and fall forward to a small lunge on the front leg.
- A movement, typically used as a joining step, in which one leg is brushed outwards from the body, which then takes the weight while the second leg is brushed in to meet it.
- Bending from the waist backward, in an arched movement.
- Holding the attitude position steadily on the supporting leg without wobbling or losing form. Attitude is a position on one leg with the other lifted in back, the knee bent at an angle of 90 degrees and well turned out so that the knee is higher than the foot.