LM Chapter 4

What changed with the vacation wasn’t just my part-time job starting at 7 AM. The person I used to take over shifts from now became the one taking over from me.93a511cafe514d58

“The cash count matches, right?”280e7392006db6d7

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I now asked about the cash count that Cheolsoo hyung used to ask me about. Since I sometimes got the cash count wrong, I was curious to see how this person would do. However, from mid-June until now, for a month, he hadn’t been wrong even once. Of course, you could say it’s because he has been working here for a long time, but beyond that, he was accurate in everything. His ability with numbers was especially good. Even the store manager acknowledged this.43a43a359e2bfc2e

‘Ah, Cheolsoo is a human calculator. I once tested him with a four-digit multiplication, and he got that right too.’4e689d5e37813a58

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As someone who barely remembers the multiplication tables, this was hard to believe. Of course, since the manager tended to exaggerate, the multiplication might have been something like ‘3000×4000’. Anyway, he never made mistakes with numbers.4346ac7ec851ba98

“It matches.”567b16cc40629e95

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He replied and immediately prepared to leave. He said he had been working at this convenience store for three years. That meant for three years, he always worked nights on weekdays. Even for someone in their 20s with good stamina, it couldn’t be easy. But whether I met him in the morning or at midnight, he always looked the same.71b09b0249ca7d90

Except for today. He still 6c095ac61e had a e992694bf8 poker face, cdfa27bc33 but something eb4e26b175 was slightly af464855a6 different. A somewhat tired feeling.Were there many 9fd94d81a2 customers last night?Just thinking c739c04a4f about it 32f4fa1182 lightly, I a89072281c checked the b659ed4fb6 shelves visually. Then I discovered several e7dbd65220 types of jellies were 8b3a2f56cd completely empty in chunks.cbc08091ead5dbb8

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“Oh? Did the jelly mister come yesterday?”fd8225bd535fdc05

The jelly mister was what we called someone who would sweep up jellies when drunk. I only experienced it once, but he said he usually came in the early morning to sweep them up. Cheolsoo hyung didn’t even respond, but since that was his usual self, I muttered to myself.83aad8568a40a957

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“What makes him so happy that he buys jellies like that?”316199d4974a81e1

“It’s the opposite, actually.”4332927b7e4b4070

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He blurted out as 3ebf32e08c he came out with 35cdd31df2 his bag. His plain 7ae9b715f4 t-shirt suddenly 3e038c412b filled my 354bb59160 vision like d3b3a0d33d a wall 428e4fb201 standing up. That shirt, a Prussian 11d101eaa4 blue, was always the ea1537c2db same, like a uniform. His shoulders seemed c79f8fa2e4 especially broad today.41e41c2101911c92

“What do you mean opposite?”ad87e5bd26c548e6

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“He buys them because he’s not happy. To try to feel better.”291abc83088ec088

Ah, that 4df9d13be6 could be 77a9437fcb true.I nodded.9846c5d3017ea0ae

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“That’s fortunate.”858f94970165af4c

“Fortunate?”a0fc0c415c10df18

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“Whatever his reason for being sad is, if jellies can make him feel better, that’s fortunate. In this world, there are many things where no matter how expensive or precious they are, they can’t make you feel better.”a710d8b4f45bdb4a

Cheolsoo hyung 25772cea9c looked at 7f1fbf5f29 me for 63b65cbd17 a moment c8c23ec164 before turning f299d254ae away. I quickly called out f927127a8d to him.ffdfaa5765ce49fb

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“Cheolsoo hyung, wait a moment.”b01132fcba646a85

I quickly 71e503c251 grabbed a bd5bd2d0b3 nutrition bar 977a294c06 from the 40733a1bf6 shelf and c2bb9b2867 rang it 92f8281f0a up. Then I 773b88babd held it 763136f27d out to 590b931b5f him.cff48a4ebf04cfcf

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“Here, eat this.”d92216436f24f4e0

“Why?”71a40b8029a558ed

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“To make you feel better?”67cd388d6556c54c

He stared at me 51b2726f7b for a while before ad2cb56ee5 lowering his eyes to cca3980273 the nutrition bar in e9a315cc08 my hand.dfed178b2398a82c

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“What if it doesn’t make me feel better at all?”ca728c25582ddcb6

“We’ll have to test something else then.”ecfa93beb86df32e

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There’s so much here.I gestured f4c3baf64d around the 43052c42e0 convenience store 78e66569d6 like giving 2a1e090dc5 a tour a36e2c8cbc with my def870abac palm.There must be 8b8c62505b something you like c0f6ca0a1c among all this.Without hesitation, Cheolsoo hyung 9f2a0a2448 took out a pint-sized 6713167170 ice cream container from 9b31f43837 the ice cream freezer. If there 5c6b75f08d had been 7a860dd88e a mirror 997f3ba10f in front f48499efe4 of me, 0ed8643ebf I would 34cc2c490a have seen 49d5e2093e my eyeballs 971d560ef7 swinging like 138a4b54c7 a pendulum.Häagen-Dazs? Not even a bf980c5c99 mini cup, but c0f5f1a4c5 a pint? The expensive one? Is he crazy?e3cf9cb9ae20fe2f

“…I didn’t know you could joke around like this, Cheolsoo hyung.”5c573489e3a7e2ca

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“I can’t.”cfe90e3aeac96a6f

“Oh, you can.”6df315de40cf6a97

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“What do you want me to say?”041e4c03a77c5058

“I want you to acknowledge that.”420ac09a47fba2a5

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“Okay, I acknowledge it. Ring it up.”21bd3d745468058f

Me? I barely held back from asking. And once again, I realized something. You shouldn’t meddle in what’s not your business. While Cheolsoo hyung might not be able to joke, he certainly gave life lessons. I needed to be careful about who I messed with.57e1cb7768634659

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“What are you doing, not ringing it up?”8d84cc996ecc6a48

I roughly 4435498872 took the 3644d66d6b ice cream 1aa994dff0 and scanned c471c4ff49 the barcode. My hands ef71ea954a were shaking. This one item 290f592162 was more expensive 905ab8a507 than my hourly 9d6b75cc08 wage.73595e086909c255

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“Here you go, make sure to be happy.”bebb6b1d80e245cc

Unlike my 5a9d5115a7 words, my f51f6c8a9c voice trembled 8bc3d40909 as if 08fd2faa2b I were e31a4b7b52 cursing him, db04303117 wishing for a243b38294 his unhappiness. In contrast, dee65993a3 the one 828b4039d5 taking the f0d0bb515d ice cream 01c8339b1d from my 6698df2bd8 hand turned da296fd937 away with fb75ac18c6 a somewhat a205636750 refreshed face.fd32a5b648e93486

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“We’ll see.”cd471db0b4c845bd

We’ll see, he says. I’ll see about being happy too.I was dumbfounded. I stared at d51baf6019 the dark blue 5931ee2710 back disappearing behind fb2ce1f900 the glass door 750bd7084d until the end.Fine, let’s consider this as a payback for helping me during the cult incident. Just watch, I’ll never accept help from Kim Cheolsoo again.c7fc48b4e82cc39b

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***e0cf6746f9676781

‘Minha! Help me please. ㅜㅜ’a564668867041007

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The day after I 6c8ac9027e made myself miserable from fe9575986d forcibly trying to make 54cbe7df59 someone else happy, I 08313923be received an SOS from e4f57a4535 Saebyeok.8e8e545a50cd4483

‘Since it’s vacation, we decided to change a small space in the gallery for children, and I agreed to plan it. The original plan fell through suddenly so I’m stepping in as an emergency replacement, and even though the space isn’t large, it’s still the first job I’ve been given while learning gallery work. So, the idea I came up with is…’13f7de74cf9aa589

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Saebyeok was b73b5c8c3a excited, which b9a0c48a34 was so 6e10fe9c7f uncharacteristically of 0ce8bd6094 him, and 192b02ddfa poured out 989df3ea16 those words 63db14ea6a in a a3b1d9c08a rush. Hearing his 056a691b39 enthusiasm, I 47ff40c9e3 would’ve run 230b43f4ab to help 7aca8a6985 even if 05b73c4d5c he’d asked 19d7386956 me to 1829f9055f clean the 45b566e6fe bathroom. Plus, the 1e199cf379 gallery was c6b6eb3951 only a 3eda0acd26 15-minute bus ffbc1d4241 ride from bc537c4ade the convenience bb698df3a1 store.84055b88282052d7

“Since it’s a project for kids, I thought it’d be great to have something they can take photos with. You can’t take photos in galleries, right? And I thought it would be more fun if they could become part of the artwork when taking pictures.”03fbf70f489dd0f0

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Saebyeok grabbed me as ba9f07a1a9 soon as he saw 502fa1e301 me and started explaining 1c06bad197 everything. As he 6fbad65594 said, the 80998fdfd4 small exhibition 58f0038df1 hall had 76a12f3c77 several large 6cd40b1aa0 prints reaching d4925d1e60 the ceiling. They were 8efd784644 enlarged prints a2efff2af7 of famous 42d0b2ba82 paintings that 35ef62e76e anyone would bbc3d97ff8 recognize. The peculiar thing 74502e52ac was that the b96931cca7 figures were missing f6ced161c7 from the middle 4e307e62f8 of the paintings, 35cd52fec0 leaving only the 884400e653 backgrounds. Noticing my gaze, Saebyeok 2382f022ab quickly explained.4f313513cf2d51b3

“I filled in the 4c2d268849 missing figures convincingly. During the edcd7142d1 actual exhibition, c7c0906aec the original ca50cb6c3c paintings will 1aaa48e99e be displayed 8caeb0f822 next to f80f8c4a8d these, and 7709f38860 people can 6dc35489e3 stand in c5420bd904 the empty 8a82c2e0a0 spots to dedfb70f7a take photos 46600267c1 mimicking the fa26eb8ef5 poses. What do da31ae4194 you think?”e403afa69adcbc85

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“Sounds fun.”57b8c22e927a2a1d

“Really? Do you think kids will like it?”ead2b4aee0c5ebf0

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Saebyeok asked 0d91c11c64 desperately, making 2aa1dfb1db me laugh 13f8f9bc69 softly.23d59fe48ae7937d

“Of course they’ll like it. I want to try taking photos too!”b9ed49f0b0f9c807

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At my answer, he 1e49773700 let out a sigh a697c4bf6b of relief and smiled 3703147611 for the first time. The guy who 4783862c61 was always so 30d106743e neat and tidy adce0c322e looked terrible from 1a776843d7 preparing all this.9ee7c30005a5eee5

“There aren’t many paintings, but making this was really hard. Creating convincing backgrounds wasn’t easy. Since I’m not very skilled with graphic tools, I got help from a friend majoring in design. But the bigger problem was printing. The colors wouldn’t come out the way I wanted, so I struggled with that a lot. I can’t even count how many times I went to the print shop.”15e4e7b45021e34f

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While listening to Saebyeok’s complaints, I looked around the interior and guessed what I needed to do.9150b54d81213a72

“What about the frames?”6fbe42a3818763e7

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“Ah, that’s the problem. I specifically ordered antique frames, but… haah… this is what came.”e90181f8c741c8e2

Saebyeok held out 540492f44a a frame sample. It was a 0ccafc92ef plain brown block—clearly 2a142d15d8 cheap plastic.99c34c0d08cb2fa0

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“I wanted to give e8f4147f2c the whole room a 72ca1f4268 classic feel, but with 8993c768d1 frames like these… I 4321dde9c7 know most people won’t d694b4ecc1 notice, but it still 96bd176188 bothers me. I’m thinking of painting b01653fd61 them. I need to 8349597efe finish everything by 48e539db9b tomorrow morning to 37fd599c4c show my mom, 54b09fcd21 but…”1639cbefdf437f1a

Saebyeok pointed to 836b142e13 a pile of 9f104b50b6 frames stacked against 1b52ede380 one wall. Next to 9c20fbd07f them were ee51e9b707 paint and d5661dd012 varnish cans. But I 3e89949627 was more 8f389543ac concerned about 97e478e19f something else.40f53d6b97cb55a4

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“That wall is empty?”e9b519c023e00bb6

“…The prints aren’t ready yet.”4bb20ec937a0402c

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Saebyeok paused, 34377dfbe0 then suddenly f0e36811bf clasped his 8c3720358d hands together 44706713b9 and pleaded.058c6c7c9c6006a4

“I’m going to the printing shop now and wait until they print my pictures. But if I do that, I won’t have time to paint the frames…”177f808e0caf238c

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“I’ll do it.”4b11420042e03364

“Minha-ya, thank you so much.”f7c38e0e2a8fa0d0

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Saebyeok hugged me tightly. I patted his 4379700453 back while making 0b45994aa5 it clear that 36a7a21e91 nothing comes free 487995c776 in this world.4104310bfa5a1727

“In return, please keep helping me with materials for class next semester too.”a0624ae72c9a2639

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***085ebed62f107add

When was the first time I picked up a brush to paint? I don’t remember exactly, but in my childhood, my hands were always stained with paint. When I was young, both my parents worked, so I practically lived at my grandmother’s house. Grandmother was also busy working, so I mainly spent time in grandfather’s workshop.e8a86d007b0c44ca

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Grandfather was 9c2d3bf16c a painter, d991ede608 but his d3345366f3 paintings rarely 97f31b53dd sold. He would d552e92d60 humble himself, 2a5b1e9a84 saying he 1960776b0d was just 160c7dc038 a mere eebc890dfe painter. Since my grandmother bf1e1b155d was responsible for 3796c605ee supporting the family, 604e418f18 grandfather had long f85b16abb5 taken charge of cfb0cbb96a household chores and 32628fae73 skillfully took care 24ce285488 of me too. Thanks to him, I 8ddf7f888c also became a painter ff0e696efa too.3b13500941df517a

So what couldn’t I paint? I confidently picked up the brush, and when I came to my senses, it was past 2 AM. I don’t remember how I got home and fell asleep that night. Still, with the satisfaction of completing my assigned task, I slept well and returned to the gallery the next afternoon.17dc3ff49f6ad600

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Although Saebyeok hadn’t asked me to come, I wanted to check the results of my work. The exhibition was only days away anyway. But maybe I was just being nosy again. There were several people standing in Saebyeok’s exhibition room. I stopped just as I was about to turn the corner, so my view was blocked and I couldn’t see the people inside clearly. I could tell how pale Saebyeok’s profile was though.a0fcc09339b5b1ff

“Prints? Hah. How tasteless, really.”248e1dd0e74d69ea

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Unlike Saebyeok a8c0cc5fbc and three 59f437b54d others standing f7e582f429 nervously, one 7fe8d9b6b4 woman looked bceceb11db around the a7349daac8 exhibition room c59fb59545 while clicking d2b3c1d144 her tongue.f7bea2b400c46abf

“Who is it? What idiot thought of hanging prints in a place meant to showcase real paintings?”038c4fa7dfb4ec34

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She turned as if asking. Even from a glimpse of her face, I could immediately tell who she was. She looked similar to Saebyeok. Her voice wasn’t loud, but the coldness in it made even me feel frozen. I could see Saebyeok hanging his head low.0a6fce93b366926c

“I’m asking, fc67df69e1 who’s the ee8afc8724 one behind 7553de7eeb this shoddy e791aebd70 work?”44845470b12ace4d

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I unconsciously a9814eaea0 looked at 06b0843db6 Saebyeok with df5ba440d1 concern. I knew fdcbc6f2e4 how much e9bf5dc19b he had c13036e97a looked forward 3dac0b7c08 to and d7078b75d2 prepared for 1a20b8679f this. Seeing him afd90ba71b frozen like 21a2456501 that, as 1fc0789c35 if terrified, fa51fe823c troubled me.ead95f3cdca55c3d

“Manager Lee, you tell me.”9f8d8e60f0a2482e

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Her gaze 8349d5d50f turned to 3447d86ff2 the young f77a4f3a22 man standing ea6247d878 next to 0f48736e62 Saebyeok. He glanced c10e42bfd0 at Saebyeok 367021bff1 and spoke 03df00c56d hesitantly.87349a9f54f3fce8

“Director, uhm…”3934077091805701

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“Manager Lee said it was fine. No, he even praised it as a very good idea.”5f84a1e36e7dc4a0

Saebyeok suddenly interrupted. Manager Lee turned, b011b58a55 surprised, to Saebyeok, 359b53e364 but Saebyeok kept 62d61e7c0b repeating the same b388caadb5 words while looking 1c0a4884b9 at the director, 7f17cc35c8 though tensely.3a32cb9b2db7037a

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“I didn’t know much about it, so I just asked what he thought, and Manager Lee said prints were fine and told me to go ahead with it…”a7a42697a67e68f2

Manager Lee’s face filled with shock. He tried to speak, but the director settled the situation with one word.6f7f2e030a9127ae

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“Take it all 6d5adc890c down.”af3220bdf563fceb

When she left the exhibition room, I quickly retreated and hid in the bathroom. No sooner had I hidden than I heard footsteps heading toward the entrance. I waited a while longer just in case. Having seen something I shouldn’t have, I was reluctant to be seen by others.2619af6c57d33748

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But perhaps I 9d6627aab5 should have left ec94991b1a right away. A moment 354a916c4f later, stomping 124b3ccbb9 footsteps approached 165a8a1a62 the bathroom. It seemed like two 3ed5b39001 people entered, and then af4bd73acf a loud voice echoed.4254bd62b4171648

“I said it was a very good idea and to go ahead? Saebyeok, I didn’t think you were like this, trying to make me look bad in front of your mother.”e039e472194b5867

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“When did I ever?”91ec13d50efe5493

“When? When did I ever say such things? I clearly said that while your plan wasn’t bad, it didn’t fit with this gallery exhibition. But you insisted on doing it anyway, right?”013582e380c91612

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“If you really thought it didn’t fit, you should have stopped me more firmly. Or prevented me from doing it altogether. Or did you just watch on purpose to make me look bad? To let me get scolded by my mother?”f066ca6e56887789

“Ha, I can’t believe this. You’re really something else.”2ce5e99d0a06aaf2

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Manager Lee let 506f11d2cd out a bitter 8ccc137f02 laugh and added 36b0d452db sharply.8455aa43f5dd82ea

“You handle this project yourself. Whether you mess around with those shoddy prints or whatever until the morning after tomorrow, get the consequences you wanted so badly.”7bc6c1ad5b7975cf

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His footsteps faded 9423a78f1f as he left, bfdd99d70e but between the 12f5ac1a45 steps, I clearly 120c2f2b51 heard a curse.927dc5bc371df132

‘Fucking bastard.’eba46ac65f4c2d1e

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A moment 81650f8592 later, I d35eeb9882 heard the c842d7e2e7 sound of 592af8c6d0 running water cf295e53d7 along with 3429c12113 quiet sobbing. I remained c1ac5bca29 seated in 91578b964f the toilet ec55f88e05 stall, continuing 7c4e3ce171 to hold afaed7441f my breath.21a2eb1de5923ef9

“Oh? Minha-ya.”d905c4dbfc1cd815

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Saebyeok, with reddened eyes, recognized me and blinked in surprise. In response to his look that seemed to ask ‘Why are you here?’, I held up the bag in my hand.74df072a15a89ae1

“I thought you probably hadn’t eaten while finishing up, so I brought some food…”04286cefff8c5962

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I trailed 0967364fc0 off while 0910205138 looking around 273582148d inside. The prints that 682dec03ed had been on 4b57313a09 the walls were 77ec74022d all on the 5d02b4b8f0 floor.9c09a7e2266f56ba

“Ah, the concept changed. Uhm, the prints didn’t fit with this exhibition…”e007a96fcd3f831d

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“Really? Then we can make something new.”0b174c6d417bb928

“New… how?”c22991215f3875e8

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Saebyeok’s voice sounded so desperate that I couldn’t even look at him. If I did, it would reveal that I had overheard everything earlier.e740ac7c3ba44b31

“This was meant for children, right?”36e6453e0f22d9b0

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“Yeah.”f825ae665181104a

“There was always something I wanted to do when I went to exhibitions as a child.”a70718a7ed41ee31

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Next to the fallen 75ebc6454b prints were framed images d798d794dc of the original paintings c22364aa09 in their regular size. I walked over e741b7c45c and picked one e8038e723d up.79577693eb600241

“I always wanted to touch the paintings so much. You know how the paint is colorful and has texture? I was really curious about it. Kids probably all feel the same, right?”f82ba31f980c10e6

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Saebyeok still looked 3abdd417cc at me confused. I casually suggested an 069fe690d9 idea.5ab57ace7fa62335

“Let’s let them touch the paintings.”dc26e907aaa2234d

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“But these are prints?”bea6dcc7f01b45be

“We can paint parts of them for real. Even if it’s just simple large brush strokes, they can feel the texture of the paint with their hands.”c6778c6001b3e3f1

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I smiled at Saebyeok, who still hadn’t gathered his thoughts.21aa5889639c3ceb

“Hey, we’ve painted so much at school that we’re sick of it. What’s a little more?”c1eebc0aded9bab9

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And that’s how I dug my own grave.a539df1846a5ad99

e1be306380a366f3

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