KTC | Chapter 15

“I was watching this animal show recently, and there was a dog that had been abandoned by its owner and had been wandering the streets for a long time. The crew rescued it and sent it to a really nice home. The place had a huge grassy yard for it to run around in, and they fed it homemade health food every meal. But even there, the poor thing just hid in the corner and growled whenever people approached, only eating once they left. Lately, whenever I see Brother John, I can’t help but think of that dog.”

“Ah.”

I understood what she meant. The constant vigilance and bristling like a beast that had struggled on the streets for a long time definitely overlapped with Seo Jihan’s situation.

“We only see what’s on the outside since only the priest knows his story. It’s kind of sad seeing a kid who was born in such a fancy house being so bony and wary of people all the time.”

Sister Catherine Jung Yoonyoung sighed deeply.

“When he’s always so on edge, he can’t eat well or sleep properly. Just now during practice, I noticed he dozes off now and then, but whenever he’s about to fall asleep, he almost has a fit and snaps his eyes open.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I wish he could relax a bit… I guess in some ways we still aren’t enough for him?”

Sister Catherine’s self-blame weighed her down, and Choi Seonwoo gently patted her shoulder.

“It’s not so much about that… maybe I’m still not trustworthy enough.”

“The priest? Why? You were the one who brought Brother John here.”

“There was a reason for that.”

Choi Seonwoo wrapped up the conversation and headed back to the priory residence.

As he walked, various thoughts crossed his mind. No matter how he considered it, the cause of Seo Jihan’s heightened sensitivity had to be on him.

“Ah, this is really troublesome…”

Choi Seonwoo muttered as he scratched his head.

Normally, Choi Seonwoo would hold his own service before bedtime. Despite not being certain whether such devotion and prayers truly reached God, he hoped they did.

Choi Seonwoo became a priest because he doubted the existence of God. He thought becoming closer to the divine might help him understand. Does God really exist, and if so, why does He seem to do nothing? Why are there humans possessed by evil spirits, but none by good spirits? Right now, somewhere, people aspiring to be devils are trampling and tormenting the innocent, and those suffering might be devout believers desperately hoping for divine intervention.

God doesn’t reach out to save anyone. This was proven through the lives and deaths of those who never experienced salvation. Among them was Choi Seonwoo himself, and a 17-year-old boy forcibly trying to sleep in another room.

“Please look after Brother John, who carries too heavy a karma for the sin of being born into the wrong family.”

Tonight’s service was essentially for Seo Jihan. Although he wrapped his prayer in learned, holy-seeming words, it boiled down to questioning why a mere eight-year-old should inherit such a heavy burden, why his grandfather’s sins were thrust upon him, and whether it was about time for the vengeful spirits to back off by themselves.

After finishing his prayer, Choi Seonwoo stood up, changed into a baggy t-shirt and shorts for sleeping, and sat beside the bed, deep in thought.

Leaving things as they were… wasn’t going to work.

A healthy mind resides in a healthy body, they say. If the body is weak, the spirit is more likely to break down. Rather than thinking about how to burn away the possessing spirits, Seo Jihan needed to regain his physical health first.

Choi Seonwoo stroked his temple and eventually left the room.

The head priest’s room was on the second floor of the priory residence. Officially, there was also a room for an assistant priest on the same floor, but it was unlikely to ever be used, so the entire second floor was practically Choi Seonwoo’s space.

As he descended the stairs, Angela, the cat, was sitting by the guest room door. Meowing softly at eye contact, she started scratching the door.

Choi Seonwoo walked over, and Angela, being well-mannered, moved aside. Muffled breathing could be heard faintly from behind the closed door. Unknowingly, Choi Seonwoo clicked his tongue.

Knock knock.

He knocked lightly.

“Brother, I’m coming in.”

No answer came back.

After a brief moment maintaining etiquette, Choi Seonwoo opened the door. The first thing he saw in the dim moonlight streaming through the window was a face twisted in agony and fear, as if it had been dropped into the fires of hell.

Stepping inside, Choi Seonwoo sat by the bed. Turning on a crescent moon-shaped mood light, the sweaty, tear-streaked face became even clearer. Not just the face, but the pajamas were soaked and clinging to the body.

Choi Seonwoo placed his hand on Seo Jihan’s forehead. The damp skin and hair filled his palm. It felt like he was touching the soul of a child weeping bitterly in purgatory.

Choi Seonwoo pressed down on the distorted brows of Seo Jihan and leaned closer, his lips hovering just inches above the gasping, sobbing mouth.

Sleep tight, my baby, my dear little one,
May the angels of dreams watch over you tonight,
Sleep tight, my baby, rest well through the night,
Dream sweet dreams of paradise until the light.

The breath between Choi Seonwoo’s lips flickered like flames, carrying a monotonous lullaby rhythm to Seo Jihan.

No special ritual was needed to chase away a mere nightmare. Just a bit of scare to the malevolent spirits wreaking havoc in Seo Jihan’s subconscious was enough.

During the lullaby, the broken, scattered breath slowly returned to normal. Peace began to creep back onto the face that had been twisted like a demon’s.

And as everything started to stabilize, Seo Jihan abruptly opened his eyes. His tear-filled eyes wavered, shedding tears in rapid succession.

When no more tears were left to fall, Seo Jihan’s gaze fixed precisely on Choi Seonwoo’s eyes. As their eyes met, Choi Seonwoo smiled gently.

“I’m sorry for noticing so late, Brother.”

Seo Jihan stared at him blankly, his eyes wet, struggling to comprehend the situation between dream and reality.

“Recurring nightmares are like wounds too. Eventually, if enough calluses build up in Brother’s heart and memories, they may not disappear completely, but they can fade.”

Choi Seonwoo spoke in a calm tone, offering words of comfort.

What kind of storm of resolve was swirling inside Seo Jihan then was unknown.

But Seo Jihan, like a child, distorted his face and burst into tears again.

“What are you? What right do you have to save me like this?”

As if he were a child who had grown physically in the unchecked flow of time, like a lost child who had wandered alone in strange places and finally found something to cling to, Seo Jihan poured out a waterfall of tears.

“Always planning how to abandon me, you bastard, just like…”

Seo Jihan grabbed Choi Seonwoo by the collar, accusingly. However, his trembling arms lacked strength, and Choi Seonwoo was more than capable of supporting him.

“Hmm, ‘salvation’ might not be the right word. I’m just resolving my karma in my own way.”

Choi Seonwoo stood firm, and by doing so, Seo Jihan was forced to sit up. As Choi Seonwoo carelessly wiped the sweat dripping from his chin, Seo Jihan flinched as if burned, his expression filled with wariness again.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize Brother would be so afraid of being abandoned by me.”

“Don’t joke. Who would be scared of that?”

It was obviously a lie. Choi Seonwoo chose not to point it out.

“Someday, Brother will have to live on his own, so I was trying to set some boundaries, hoping you wouldn’t rely too much on me. But I won’t do that from now on.”

“…”

“I promise. I’ll stay by your side until all the spirits clinging to Brother are gone.”

Seo Jihan repeatedly questioned that fact with his silent gaze, and Choi Seonwoo affirmed it with a bitter smile.

Seo Jihan’s body, which had been tense, gradually relaxed. Standing alone in a vast, visibility-nullifying downpour seemed to calm him as Choi Seonwoo extended his hand first again.

“Now, let’s find peace for tonight. Come here.”

As if he had been waiting for this moment, Seo Jihan buried himself in Choi Seonwoo’s embrace. His large frame was oddly thin, lacking both muscle and fat, feeling painfully like he was holding a starving beast.