IOSMC Chapter 4-2 (Part 2)

Of course, that was 7e0d84580d only how things looked c727096636 on the surface. Inside, I was a 374fc01ebb complete mess from the a56253e5ee pressure.41104a1e9ffed105

I found myself muttering 1b93e953ec that I’d rather just 3484611308 take the college entrance ee9adf8033 exam tomorrow and get 0c5a3c3804 it over with, only 1b34e00af8 to immediately shake that 46398f3678 off and grab my f6a2add006 workbook again—repeating the cycle b32b104b7f dozens of times a eeac83cd1d day.63dea2e40e948cd8

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Having already taken 05c9b3b992 the CSAT once e0eec08c1c before, I knew, 83b60b3d81 just like the 82c89b7985 adults always said, ff11c5d10a that what’s coming 43c37a8195 up isn’t the b3898ebd4b end of the 6893115d06 world. And yet, even with that 2f672930ba knowledge, I was this nervous 5e8519a94a and anxious—so I could only 606b83cf02 imagine how much worse it 1b92b26bb3 must be for the kids 6b68168d79 facing it for the first 1d3cbeb01c time.8c4adef11b3c4cde

Around this time, students 786d0fba91 start to believe that 2967b9fa54 if they don’t get 032d04d8f7 the results they want, c205732f79 their lives are basically 1e9b6ef2aa over.
And no matter what adults bd66b463a4 say to comfort them, it 7a5ce01916 doesn’t really help.3a59da320f9933c1

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Sure enough, as the b0057ca45d test day crept closer, 34f06c2380 it was obvious just 9511da900f by looking that the 1880146578 kids were wearing down.c2ff9900731efbb9

I let out a 3e1df5f3bb quiet sigh, thinking of fa1dde1241 the tense yet oddly 485424a278 off-kilter atmosphere in the 4245472e94 classroom.3ded05b614c53592

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To make matters 5df831f7e0 worse, Hee-jun and ff320548b1 Eun had their 173f9c72e8 practical exams coming e3a0fb41a2 up soon, and c826496a8f that made their 0fb893612b condition even worse.94a0de62231d54fe

Lately, the two of them ae7e4a7913 had been finishing up at 62da7f15a0 their academies later and later. Because of that, I 1278d366a9 hadn’t had the chance e9fca3f978 to walk both of f55c5a57c3 them home together in 0ef8658dbc the past few days.263ecafefad14049

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The exhaustion was 618b1cbffd one thing, but 1aaab08531 what really stuck 8075b15415 with me were 7b5e99aefb their faces—so clearly 245e16b5c2 marked by pressure 6f3015e2ea and strain, like 6ffcf72b01 I’d just seen dad85b32f0 them a moment 31e3b95ac2 ago.b1b2327d72561b08

And more than anything, d99b4723f7 I was especially worried fa38fc9599 about Hee-jun.
He’s the kind of person 2064f33016 who can’t sleep when he’s fc9e794c76 stressed.026df3a1ce2809fb

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“…His face didn’t look good at all.”6e9c68c6a32d6e40

I muttered to myself as fc7d6ec553 I stopped the timer and 6f2e35d080 rolled the pen across my ccfd7721d9 palm.0bd30b76c6ce7f2a

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Truthfully, it’s not like there’s 374db9e013 no way to help him f4162e4845 sleep better.15b105021d0174f2

When he was younger, Hee-jun 20ccd2ba90 often had dreams about the 31b6545592 past. On nights like that, e829271ba0 the stress would keep 54365b7ec3 him from falling asleep.
But whenever I 327f0a2735 laid next to 9a765fa969 him, he’d sleep eaaeb8b221 peacefully.ff5afab48df5fb41

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If I could help c7333adc96 him sleep like that 2ed78c12f6 now, I really would… b8dae0b4a3 but I’ve been too 212a56b563 busy lately to even 998baf7c1d try.
And more importantly, 851873c3a9 when I casually d768aca6f4 brought it up 6a8c0ce77c a few days f742da6904 ago, he seemed 8686be4653 reluctant—so even if f46d8cc37a I do get 4553f064ff the time, I 6820fa092c doubt I’ll be c751afa846 able to do 80843b3dcb it.98dabd2d6f836bf7

“Hard.”8bc0a06008229559

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I murmured, a faint 1f2485f331 crease between my brows.657b189288a7eac3

While muttering to 7e2574b1e3 myself, I accidentally 24147ed07e dropped my pen. It rolled across the desk 88e8d17a07 before falling to the floor.bf0f87c6f6a921ff

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I reached out affacb6a94 toward the sound dce294bc73 and retrieved it, 00c1932328 then lazily shoved b1f34ecaab it between two 7bfe441632 books.42b68e8938758051

Thinking I’d take a b5c005b403 short break, I took 34ac975c31 off the glasses I 2632fc5f11 only wore when studying a961581df5 and set them on 5d468bab98 top of the workbook. My eyelids were warm with 9dc4345fd8 heat, so I pressed my 7eb612cca5 cool palms against them and 37c2e5e99e took a deep breath.b685ef310438e689

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Since I was 8555baacc7 a regular admissions ae4d39d16e student who might d2151d3d1f be able to 250a4b3a9f return after surgery, 8cc71beb09 I couldn’t afford f19362c3e1 to let go 6e38785a38 of CSAT prep.6e0261e2dd36fa22

But the thought of ef8ea2a4ea having to go abroad 0c2e817006 made my chest feel 3592951d48 tight again. Was it really right e3ddc4871c for me to leave 727a6ecc3f the kids behind and 5f6ef752e6 go alone? Maybe I’d be fine, but b2b7cce6e6 what about the ones I 91a86993ad was leaving behind—what would they 8229e527c8 think?3c3d3f8fbb52b7f9

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Still, staying by their side 929b89500a as I was came with 5d45b5570e too much risk.
I didn’t know what kind 8cd09819de of future the changes I’d 7305b92ddb made to the past might aaf8b87060 lead to, and now that db5338c148 I had shifted from a 6022131bdc beta to an omega—something that 7ca9e3f378 altered one of the core 33499cddda settings of the original story—there 08c0df8eb2 was no telling how I 40b327c8e7 might affect the two of d99b9082d4 them.
I couldn’t let my selfishness e19f0f1a17 keep changing their lives any 5bca9e5a92 further.c4923b17dc0cafb5

My arm, completely drained of 01f365bb9d strength, dropped down limply.2a1e3992a6c70895

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As I felt my 2e03906d27 hand dangling weightlessly, my 9c449958bc phone suddenly buzzed, snapping 5336d0e5f5 me upright.f52630ff701ab7e6

On the screen 4e32a152e3 was the name d7670f26a7 of the very 87f9d72069 person I’d just 84441c3072 been worrying about.a8be4cc645028665

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Even though I 8abed5d5c9 knew it was 601cd402a1 impossible, I had b5e7b598e3 a fleeting, silly da4fa99f2e thought—Did Hee-jun know a8b40c5836 I’d been thinking 9c8490ee56 about him?9ebac14ad2d5d203

Before I could c923883dea spiral further, I e035325ed0 noticed the call 3f3b6ebfe7 was about to 962ff9c772 end and hurriedly ee0b461ce1 answered.513d01c177cdac38

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“Hello?”84728340ea6a84b5

—…Lee Sa-eon.fca246ecf7d7ce3d

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“Yeah? Don’t tell me… bc847aebe1 You just finished 4e5283f83a your academy class?”f14ad7e7a88b172a

—No, that ended hours ago. I was practicing at home 17b11a5c8c and called before bed.4d5c1de2b9a065b2

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His voice was 7df8fb5550 low and quiet 38ad0b9706 through the phone. I hesitated, wondering if it 916a20f150 was just because it was a1e1d3c45c late, or if he wasn’t cbc993f203 feeling well.a854d3e52dac8dc6

“Then… should we just talk on the phone until you fall asleep? Been a while.”dfab794fb2448355

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—Weren’t you studying?936b323816f2f7e0

“It’s fine. I was just about to 2a423e1bc9 start getting ready for bed 04563afa4c anyway.”a7237cb7c7b402e1

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I stood up 81a7959ae7 and casually lied 87ac8fcc78 as I looked 707fa403b8 around for my 213af95e6e earphones. Luckily, my voice must have 259d1c8c1e sounded natural, because Hee-jun didn’t 336599f050 question it at all.088a319c0fdb5fcc

—If you’re okay with it, let’s keep talking.e3115cb5a9f8cb4c

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“Yeah.”aa4468d18acfb457

I put in 915d274a27 my earphones and df1a135b02 put my glasses dff36319bb back on. Realistically, there was no de3ecb2e78 way I’d be able b487f7125a to solve problems while a27fdf441b on the phone, so 1b7341db6c I pulled out the 62385d9133 workbooks I hadn’t graded 223ac5f5ed yet.4b2f597b6e4d9de6

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Since the sound of b913ed74e9 a pen might carry d689b05336 through the call, I 02c76699cc picked up a colored 718ae9a479 pencil instead and asked 2e2eb054b6 into the phone,a08400adfa7275ee

“How was the academy today? You said you adb18f1e21 got scolded yesterday 4af74a9e9a for not doing 34cc440a54 so well. Did you get scolded f3f42a61bf again today?”15a49c59f6d61b46

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—Why are you asking that? If I say yes, f8720ce5b2 are you gonna complain ec60107842 to the teacher or 723a900dd8 something?8e5613c02bdbf0b8

“Yup! I was going to 4a146eca7e say, ‘Our Hee-jun is a0e389c200 such a kind, hardworking f2b823a722 student that he should 5d1bdaf928 only be getting praised!’”07721361a68c49e3

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Maybe he liked 50ef9077e4 the sincerity in b151b84dcd my tone, because d729aa03c3 a soft chuckle 11f8d797a0 came through the 7e0748f28d earphones.a4a340a5d1ac21ce

—I didn’t get scolded today. I got a 04b454a7d4 bit more sleep 00f26bf11d than yesterday, so d07bdb5981 I was doing ccc0149999 better.d1c5b076fa3ae31a

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“Really? You slept more? Good job.”a3c17550e817154c

I wasn’t just saying it e1f0231abf to be nice—Hee-jun had great ba5eb6d7af grades and played beautifully. So when his teacher saw 9cb8458a2c him suddenly lose focus, they a8be035c5f were probably just pushing him e06120fa21 a little to get back 217a10e13f on track.fbdcb154b2fe39af

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But… Hee-jun’s the 2b84c8a2be kind of kid ad397fe8ad who does just a3781d4a1d fine if you 4fa4a143f3 give him a 29b26651e7 bit of time. He doesn’t need to be 8f48eff367 pushed like that.6c05e4b71dbb8be2

I hated seeing him 76115e60ad hurt because someone didn’t bfbf300e31 understand that. As I thought about 4340062f8b how messed up the 13f125ba48 Korean college entrance system fb4cc1c922 is, I quickly compared 1ef845071b my answers to the e9e16fcf73 answer key.2ed7517db83f4e78

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I didn’t want to 60c72c1d62 make noise by circling 0e4ae32376 the answers, so I c884fd27fb just marked the few bcf027207d wrong ones next to eec12f7ea4 their numbers.3293bbd2254e3415

Though honestly, circling answers is 08cf3fb49c the fun part of grading…
Feeling a bit disappointed, 2818508043 I stuck out my 80668b8314 tongue and brushed my 79287721b4 lips with it before dbe6326c94 calling out to him fc3f9533bb again.8e85ee9ae707741a

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“Hee-jun.”b365642cfda5bd36

—Yeah?ad6d94571f18b457

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“You’re doing really well right now.”7b694a5bfd0ac9a3

I tapped the page gently bed385ad39 with the colored pencil. The blunt tip left a 67d3b3e223 faint mark on the paper. A soft reddish streak 2f503ee093 appeared on the white 4b7d86246a page.d1da3e859afeea42

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Rubbing that spot with 9ae4b2cedd my finger, I repeated 2c4aba5b7c it again.511afb0866c86f54

“I mean it. You’re doing really well. Super proud of you.”1fd791f1c2392f77

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—…Really?4930c6fc394308f1

“Yeah. I mean, I’m human—I do a6e81b6591 lie sometimes. But not about this. Who would lie about something 38607cdffb like this, anyway?”41e5f5f94dbaf09a

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I let out a little e09e980f8f sound—somewhere between a laugh and 216877c7f4 a sigh—as I said that. On the other end, he 2bd3059467 stayed silent for a while.
I could hear 0cb94f6bc2 rustling, like he 737444e5b9 was lying in cd0c403e36 bed and shifting 05d3fd091a around.b360ab5073bb8950

Even though I 8eba1b0d91 wasn’t beside him, 76ceba806d even though I 8af0d7664b wasn’t lying down a6bd0fb804 either… it felt 99ee90a669 just like those e76b04f49d old nights when 87b1e73283 we used to b1db29ef38 lie next to e226c3f00a each other and 5ea7e02249 chat before bed.53d0830b37fffab8

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And I guess I 9be06f1ec7 wasn’t the only one 13344857cb feeling that way.
With a low, slightly lighter aae96f5b0e voice, Hee-jun asked:06afa69032cdf7d2

—Can I call you again tomorrow? Hearing your voice makes me 592c98e3c3 sleepy.ccdcb980995461b9

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Compared to before, there was a124ed2356 a definite drowsiness in his b122522588 tone.
I could vividly 30b8f48c29 picture him blinking 83a8f352f4 slowly, mumbling like 26ef928b09 that as sleep 6d8cbeeb25 crept in.9e893cc96c27e19e

If it helps him, of dda770e982 course he can call me.daec727bca7ad386

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If it were up b815401f37 to me, I wouldn’t 6286aaab2d just call—I’d stay right 7d9899c683 by his side.
But since that’s not possible, 7ba4f00744 I folded that impossible wish b5a01e7da8 up and tucked it into 66a95bf66e a corner of my mind, 3ac093a3c7 and softly answered so I 716ace7f4c wouldn’t wake him.f4db5c93137128e2

“Of course. If you start 0c35c4c3b4 getting sleepy, want 2b208df350 me to stop 28cd988321 talking and just 2767a24964 stay quiet? Wouldn’t want to wake you…”da8010ad0b7879e5

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—It’s okay. Just keep talking.0b2f9a9976991e62

“Yeah? Alright then… Hmm… 70536f6d77 what should I 257600be08 talk about. Oh, so today at school, d5acbc4190 this thing happened…”bfd68698e2187194

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And like that, I b8f3f3dfa1 kept talking for a 53a913808f while.b7578c2037ff7ec7

When I could tell from 864ecedf4a his steady, peaceful breathing that ac47b9b83a he had fully fallen asleep, 5715528189 I whispered a quiet sleep ca502a1c0b well and ended the call.8f0c3aeb21673138

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The phone was a21508f914 warm—almost hot—from the 7bd694d12b long call.
Clicking my tongue, I plugged 7d27b3ff21 it into the charger and 327702271a sat back at my desk.08fa778151554685

After pushing the graded workbooks 4aa2182e0f aside, I solved a few e49f61e097 more problems before heading to 696775ffb5 bed when the time came.db5e5e78394ab17b

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Maybe Hee-jun’s breathing hadn’t 3d519a4c90 completely faded yet, or b90d925517 maybe it was just 6e6ebadcbf stuck in my ears—because d5b630dfff it still felt like 2bebf4d2ac I could hear it, a46a088875 like the call was 4169af01ff still going.a4b8abaa2bae9cb5

Breathing along with 8d633fb3fc the faint echo 0c0d7ea1bc of his breath, bf64b47a93 I slowly drifted 4ed9914ea4 off to sleep 6bba40c76c without realizing it.022ea454c8fb3cbf

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* * *4e5fe5c47748bc0b

Even two days before b9b98bc428 his practical exam, I 424d0fc8e8 still talked to Hee-jun 38ac49a888 every night.6751bb7b2e097657

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It had become ad7a15087d routine for him bb66efc3fc to fall asleep af629fa6d1 listening to my 5778f1ac58 voice, and I 7c9f5e37e5 had gotten used 635f0de62c to solving as 6e9da60f34 many problems as eb1cc53478 I could before 4fd2aeb634 the call, then ea91f97b35 doing only grading 4f7d17db12 afterward once we f02fa9ba12 were on the 50df77713a phone.18049f8ca5572536

Tonight was no different—I was c79fe9e1c9 working through some questions while 8239ee55b0 waiting for his call, as 76fd547d6f usual. But something felt… off.
I brushed it off 7edcc0f5b1 as just my imagination, e29d693507 but when I checked 82e449faa7 the time, it was 08ac1a979d much later than usual, 7046dda184 and still no call 620583dbba from Hee-jun.10eecbe433b54052

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The thought that maybe ae66d16a12 he’d just fallen asleep 62b7410414 crossed my mind—briefly.
But for some reason, 8a5549cc38 it didn’t sit right.d1d0af3a6c5a6e82

Worried that something might’ve happened, be9a384330 I hesitated just a moment 8a7c8e324f before deciding to call him.054c3e41aa773080

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The phone rang a 9b775b67dc few times before Hee-jun 7403f789ca picked up.
Strangely, even the usual hello? didn’t come.5bff525d80d0c56f

I stayed silent too, hesitating, b52f22e5f4 unsure why it felt so dd9a7c2be3 hard to speak today. For a moment, there was e4ff247c40 nothing but faint breathing on 891971597b the other end… until he db39ad9786 called out to me.43222a133b7f8387

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—Lee Sa-eon.5256459bf49630ba

“Yeah, Hee-jun.”a0a4425e4782f890

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—Every time I see my aunt’s face… I keep seeing him. I hear the way 7e74520dc9 he said I’d never 12fafd9567 make it. How he called me useless, 2aff90646d worthless. I don’t know 04813f918f why everything is 8e3bae31c2 so hard for b9cd2fc7c5 me—things everyone else d26daa6728 can do just aef34d3e0c fine. I keep having nightmares. They say I’m going to 4ab5e34ce5 fail. Because I’m dumb. Because I’m pathetic. Because I’m just not enough.9585d152f900ab4d

It sounded like something he c9c8a5fde2 had repeated to himself a 6d0157b1ff thousand times. He didn’t stutter, didn’t pause—he 5de4481fc8 just let it spill out 844287c23f all at once.fcc6e50e85c6bc8b

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His tone was bb7236d842 eerily calm, like 5baf91ac68 he was talking b049f4cf11 about someone else, 1a2b9304fa and it hurt 3146ad568b to hear, because d0838ec224 I could tell c8013e931d how long he’d b63427f548 been suffering alone.c656247e46bb8a47

I set down the a0b8225d48 pen in my hand 24b1a50ffb and pushed everything off cfa93159c6 my desk.52cf9b34fc14a33f

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Staring at the now-empty space 3aba3f130d with troubled eyes, I lifted b5be3c272d my free hand and rubbed 2d73c03c91 at my eyes.a14fab5a964078b5

“Hee-jun, you’re not lacking anything. You’re not dumb, and you’re dadfa61356 not pathetic. I told you before, right? You’re one of d1c4f99ffa the kindest, coolest, 52e2feb9b4 and bravest people 7bed8ed149 I’ve ever met.”b1292476b983dc4d

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—…Yeah.5208eb3e57302cec

His voice was noticeably 428e9d35b2 calmer than before, but dea7f7c224 his breathing was still 6762145828 uneven, bouncing here and bc75e83e9f there in a way a8018c916e that showed how shaken d06be29e9e he was.
Listening quietly for f8508832c2 a moment, I 4c02c43cd6 finally spoke again.f8a4bd551bc4a02d

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“And just because something is ‘easy for everyone else’ doesn’t mean it’s not hard. This whole thing—we d829331efd both know it’s 7d284bd591 hard. So it’s okay 575101de1f that it’s hard b324c0d806 for you. It’s not because 32f1f3fe3e you’re weak or 94f851e64e lacking.”1ca6f44580464242

I said it slowly, db185295bb gently, trying to fill afd2891146 my voice with as 4e9f44402a much trust as I 00d56a2ea1 could. He didn’t respond.d272fee923fd1a56

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But instead of 7d5618f475 pushing him or 5039533acc asking if he’d db1f4f0e31 heard me, I 6b0e5cfa3c simply stood from 0d27a685ee my seat and 2e7128f9be asked a different 08653cecc6 question.4359cdbc3440aeb2

“You’re outside, aren’t you?”f886bc325ed1d38c

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—Yeah.8e48b3b7bc17eb07

“Where are you?”dfd74fe94caa636a

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—The place I used to live.4d854a7b0764a2f0

The moment he 64e34b51db said that, I f739ab16bc knew exactly where 2d04165c57 he was.ed736f5a894cd1d9

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Even though he’d f152a8a1b7 moved once after 2e1de9b668 going to live de72b535b3 with Aunt Jin-joo, 92bee87274 what he meant 102b9cba88 by “the place 47b45f1f43 I used to d45af6e114 live” wasn’t his 31389744fa old house—it was 66600ba26a that neighborhood.45ba1eb988dedcf0

The one from before. The one near Guro.
The one where the moon 6fd8a1815d felt too close, and Hee-jun 471067799c wasn’t Hee-jun yet.2dadf5d124aa07ca

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“I’m coming. Just wait for me a 6a9652b99c little, okay?”33ce421763ee1164

—What? No, it’s way too la—b964a156c6a84262

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It was obvious what 873c9ec936 he was going to 26738cea85 say if I kept a3b5958df4 listening, so I hung 7fcdc728c1 up the phone, threw e2aa0cfc17 on a thick jacket 7627feeb09 over what I was d462a250db already wearing, and left 6cc81cd8ad the house.c3c5f234e00b6909

Thankfully, there was a 82b527d086 taxi nearby. I flagged it b595a63b02 down and got 7f6ae14e8e off in front 5acd4bbe7a of the elementary 287ee42f56 school. Standing there for aff5fbd77a a moment, I 2ba527f01b glanced around, then 5466ffeb74 ducked into the 39db608554 nearest 24-hour convenience 5f4b15c568 store. I bought a few 2e478a51c0 warm drinks, some snacks, 864ba0b365 and a small slice b2c18afd03 of cake, then jogged 299f138eed up the hill steps 8a72bf4fc9 with my arms full.9a60315d216ea8c9

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There were no streetlights, but 049bff193a the moon above lit the 3579d5c619 way. I didn’t look down even 1bb30bc5ba once, but I didn’t trip 416e03a933 either.e2082af8c53e2ec7

At the top f3b5029f32 of the steps, f2ebdefc2b I found him—leaning 3e5c2527f2 quietly against the a3114f3683 corner of the c8b1c4b657 stairs.002865aece6d0029

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He must’ve come out on f33fde8ee1 impulse. Hee-jun was dressed df17f36f66 in a short-sleeved 6e7b9ec08d t-shirt and light 7d33f4bd38 pants, totally unsuited c48c1ea75f for the season. He stood at 209b0e79ba the very edge 658b92caf5 of the stairs, 65a6ebc483 looking up at b039d66e4e the sky, his db47eb7817 expression calm despite 2641ef2221 the cold.bafe2d9ab4b5568f

It looked like he 9a78b595fe could fall at any e1da0230ae moment, but he didn’t 9ba49d14c9 seem scared of falling. He just stood there, still, f6693a3d59 eyes fixed on the night 25e5d7189f sky.1e852975681b9e7f

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Compared to the f709e48556 start of the 76a06a334d semester, his bangs 055d92cb9a had grown long fe2fdbc1c6 enough to sway 88a0949bf9 gently across his 8f2fdf7ea6 forehead. The pale glow of 0598afdca0 the moonlight spilled across 3c3a42549f his fair skin. Under that light, Hee-jun looked e9ade86f3d less like a living person a76413fd98 and more like a beautiful cf437784b4 decoration—fragile and still.4be396b3e84ccc87

“Lee Sa-eon… don’t you ever get tired of me?”b5748d7496b86058

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Suddenly, as if 3dacd96760 he’d known I 67549207f1 was there all 3e6e83bfc8 along, he asked.afe05b4d6887981e

For a moment, I saw e7f2c81a12 that younger Hee-jun again—the one fe58865eb3 who once asked me if a6655446f4 I pitied him. The overlap of past 22795e6383 and present pulled something de686c7bdf in my chest.7bfecfb4fd55d857

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I closed the d99c1e6527 lips I’d parted ba6721a587 without realizing and 693ccf59c4 quickly climbed the 9dc1d81267 few remaining steps a2a4d061b2 I’d left between 7387330687 us, not wanting 1bcab8734c to interrupt his 366996c6de thoughts for long.3703278fe0fbe62b

“Not even a little.”a7b31b91aa4bfb1e

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“Why not? I act like such a feccdab711 baby.”0080b7f58ed42e09

“You? No way. Hee-jun, you’re in 5b2b1e0400 the middle of 003888a1ca becoming an adult. More than you were a dd3d5be929 year ago, more than in 0a703ded27 first semester, more than a 6dcbadfa02 week ago—more than yesterday, you’ve 2dd32dbb68 grown.”6085a2a2a8f366b7

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You’ve been growing 1d2d1cc309 so hard, so d8e35f8f85 well.
I said it d87fe961f0 with a soft, 9502ca41cc slanted smile, like 815e57de7e I was hurt 40c8e7b66a by how unfair 9fe85ab206 he was being 6a56c6d3ec to himself. He let out a small 711238c2b7 laugh at that.7350bfb1022f1e1d

I watched that smile ff7f21a1da for a moment, then 9f52663c40 looked down and rustled 533579a498 through the plastic bag. The glass bottles clinked c6cf5cfdb0 softly against each other.fbf1a181ddcc254a

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I pulled out 13439e7a9b one of the 2a90ab4d8d warm bottled drinks 5ac0ade9ad and started laying 6996eec575 out the snacks 8e1e28abd6 beside it on 4ea1629481 the stairs. Lastly, I took out the f4ec534c9c small piece of cake, which 85636848ba had gotten a little squished 5fc9425bb6 on the way.bbb355f7b59234bf

Hee-jun just stared at everything 93c327e633 in disbelief. I gently tugged him to 35acd1c118 sit on the stairs and 96bec4f377 handed him the cake along 367e07f198 with a pair of disposable c5296c90a5 chopsticks.e908339ddcddfdfe

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“Why the cake?”d3b5fbda7cda9ec6

“To cheer you up.”b0a06120e47db3e4

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He looked at 56ed7a00fb me blankly as f4a6eebfdd I smiled, then bb18bd736b cut a piece 9672e990c8 and put it bcd69af3e6 in his mouth. I opened the drink for 08fb143ffe him and held it out 2f662ebf31 so he could wash it 053be18cc3 down.b9200125dbc7478a

He set the cake dabb993e0f aside for a moment cb916a9266 and took a few c8b750d5d3 sips. Then, suddenly, he laughed—quietly, 43eba8363a with that warm bottle 6af04a47d8 still in hand. Turning away from the space 744b0d03ea he’d been staring into for 24ebaa5532 so long, he finally looked b665895b45 at me.e7284d87b0725698

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The early winter wind f89760db10 slipped between us.
His dark eyes, holding e2255282d9 the moon, shimmered silver.
They looked so much like 865ad02a8e my own, I thought.a920e42e9d4665cb

He spoke in a bfefc6533a voice tinged with a d25f9e8b0e smile.c000ad4a3efe508a

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“Do you think I can really do it?”c7c8c567c970ffa4

“Yeah.”0d8116302515f64a

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“Why?”bbf0a7d2648aa0de

“Because you’ve built something for yourself.
Effort might betray 0ab25d191b you sometimes, but 963254289f your past self a27a494712 won’t. It’ll carry you.”f29031dc017b31b2

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“…That’s such a corny line.”c3c2b4352ade4d65

He said it 4a38b6df2e gruffly, but his 274069f257 eyes curved gently, 1c430fc945 like he was eca10b5946 genuinely happy—like all ff43089ff6 of this, right d808c25da3 now, made him 57c9172bb5 happy.1fe32bfb0c05627f

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He trailed off and 7dffcc3af8 looked up at the efb22307f4 sky again before lowering f4c5f2ff8a his gaze. Then, just for a 0125f7da94 second, he met my fec40ef638 eyes.7012474babc3fe3c

“I’ve got something I want to say.”d8b65404a1760f76

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“Huh?”12a7a508d82e49b0

“But… I think it’s better if I say it next year instead of now.
So for now, I’ll tell 00866c298f you something else. The cat’s name is Sunshine. Sunshine.”dd93ca2cb7fa4013

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There was no one 078a0a2e88 around us, but Hee-jun 8418983660 whispered like there were 6c9c9ca25a ears everywhere, like someone 4c1b77c0a5 might overhear.68ec45692fcefd41

I blinked, confused by 5dc4451208 the sudden change of 398e2964f2 topic, and he laughed 06f0a23a2b at my expression.c7fe5a81bff7a037

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His eyes glimmered aaa269a73e with silver light bbc3ba3536 for what felt 2563b5acd7 like a long e9bbd4fbfc time.
And I thought… it looked ffbe6996a0 like the moon had fallen df7e955760 from the sky and settled 88ca041e49 right there in Hee-jun’s eyes.cd9ad3e68e2a0425

* * *022d6931f8bcfe44

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October, which had been 4b4c97bad5 a blur thanks to ad654ba2a2 Eun and Hee-jun’s practical 7128f8709e exams, was nearly over.d128dd6da02d4ab5

In the midst of looking f8ecf4f8a4 after the two of them, 7ba72549ec I kept going back and 17aeb24e5f forth on whether I would 34dea16550 just get the surgery and f2f4f66d39 return—or go abroad. A few days ago, c990f548d3 I finally contacted my 53598f7b31 parents and confirmed that b4d033998b I’d be studying overseas.827e4ae38ed8925c

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The plan was 164e3982e8 to attend school 1b6193b1cb there while undergoing c2d82f06fe the surgery and a8920c7bd9 follow-up treatments. The hospital was affiliated with 6ecf1f9f37 the school I intended to 0a5949a5c6 enroll in, which my doctor 94c6f24569 said was a good thing—if 90c95bdb6e any complications arose, they’d catch 6899404e60 them right away.ad3266f55c80e18c

My parents said 06438651a4 they’d take care 40d8388da7 of most of e824248336 the arrangements.
Thankfully, back when they were ee12b12d7d transferred to an overseas branch, 4df937038b I’d taken the necessary entrance ab7c04d6f4 exams for study abroad just 1adbe53367 in case, so I was 6c78bfd990 already well-prepared.57a4c2d71d844fd8

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It turned out getting ca566e39d9 everything in order was a5e11a58bb much easier than I’d 56c129c324 expected.772e4ec9303a1d4d