4-1. Ha-eun, Lee Sa-eon, Choi Hee-jun: Age 19 (1)

<Lee Sa-eon>

Time, as always, passed d93f3896d2 quickly—never once slowing down 8a2f015cd8 for someone like me, acf24109fc who was often struggling 5492476579 under the weight of 857a5c65ec reality. Still, Eun, Hee-jun, e4670da3b9 and I steadily e685b67674 grew, both in 9a323205ff body and mind. And so, we 54cb861bbc reached the age 15db0da212 of nineteen, with 157a5e1e32 the end of 65f61777e6 our teens and 8685a29253 the beginning of 371b65ba20 our twenties just d974cccd82 around the corner.b4e844c5e570c9c6

My phone rang loudly. I hadn’t looked at the 2681f6a3b2 clock, but it felt like 90870b8baa it had been ringing for 0912484b78 a solid ten minutes. If I ignored it 5d423a20c8 any longer, I’d definitely 46762692be have to face the 52a523a135 consequences.206e0283a693675e

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I adjusted my fa8ea9564d slightly rumpled shirt 24f1caf2b8 collar from putting 141772bc81 on my tie, 870c7312b6 then let out 9c11a7535d a short laugh f9ad655c8f and reached out 5f460e5c71 my arm. The expected name flashed 3a480d3912 across the screen of cfccf47aaa the phone sitting on 049634b35d the nearby table.9adc9354da0e0548

Picking up the call, I e71828eefa grabbed my backpack from the df315a3e07 corner. As I slung cd71820df6 it over one 3966faa928 shoulder, I opened 70b4642c03 my mouth.ef87dcbdb0038acb

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“Hello?”945a203371dfd4f9

– …eba8c792f9f0932e

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“Hello? Hmm? Why isn’t anyone saying anything? Isn’t this Sa-eon’s friend Hee-jun’s 88f017a6a1 phone?”17e9aac978683b08

– …Hello.b2acfce1dfd0444e

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“Oh no, Hee-jun’s mad.”4408d84a551d1f2e

– Mad? I’m not mad. I’m just… annoyed. Not mad, just pissed off, really.ff254e5d2370f725

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Anyone could tell just 46d5a85e67 by his tone that 8044ddc77a he was clearly irritated. And I knew exactly why. I’d have to e9a78c981a be clueless not 5ce66aacf8 to know—because the a1beaf74b2 cause of that cff508088e irritation was me.0701ee438490ee56

It was because I’d suddenly 54a9133b90 ghosted him from two days 3ea4611da9 before summer break started until 8f1130d351 the day school started back 0391cfeffe up—today.2bd48b38d1f899f2

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Of course, I had my 07638e2929 reasons. Not that they a9727bd71b were the kind 4c347ed254 I could explain de6b2170a6 to Eun or de921ab361 Hee-jun, so all c2aea928b2 I could do 6ec49eeca6 now was apologize fa473627b1 and grovel.31050e44dcd6e2d6

After I changed 9dd03fdb0c Eun and Hee-jun’s f0852a8816 pasts, a single dba751a1a0 thought began to 5cef377657 haunt me. What if, because of me, 97bb254727 the “happy future” meant for e2f862158f the two of them had 46b4e2acf7 gone off course? I couldn’t help 58bfba828e but worry that d46e8b1e25 my selfish decision 31594fb2a7 to alter the 09f1d39f0a past had ended 2cd1f88555 up destroying the 0f62b018c7 guaranteed happiness they fac46459e5 were supposed to bec9bd43f2 have.906931623e9427c8

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If my worries were a3616961af just about the future, 74f132a3bf money, college, or grades 68ac34d0a1 like everyone else around ded64b37a9 me, that’d be one 2ec16c3a33 thing. But who could I even 53230fd059 talk to about this?2bd4ef45bdad7f50

This concern had 2d64ec7cf7 been weighing on f34c505fa8 me for quite 969f336ac1 some time, and 354e2b34dd it only grew c7c421be28 heavier as the 30f33f43db original story’s true ed0b8e3658 beginning crept closer. Making matters worse, b26efe7b30 I didn’t see b23af67a15 even the slightest 5d95f99495 hint of a 6ab637be25 romantic connection forming 8270e1d073 between Eun and 9f8b839ea0 Hee-jun, which only 77c4e9d67e made me more dee9ba3d4e anxious.cb2d57b845304568

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Of course, I 35b4ffa031 don’t regret saving 87dd7c5135 them from their 2dfcf12071 misery. What I do 660afc6f06 regret is whether 93027f39c9 what I did 63819ea591 back then was b8f84e16cb truly the best 25ead9c3ef I could’ve done. Did I really do everything da93722bcd I could? Honestly, even now, asking myself 63baee9234 that question again—I still don’t d851f098d9 know.ab1f077c8333290c

Eun and Hee-jun are the cc262ca454 main characters. No matter what hardships 24a29212e8 they faced, they were be5adfca5f supposed to overcome them 70a577c7b6 and be rewarded with 6b560881c3 a happy ending. They were originally meant 3a79f862ee to have a secure, 78d27c5d93 comfortable future… and now, ec7de58e8b because of me, that e58b0fa0e0 might be gone. Just thinking about it is 5bc60da366 enough to drive someone mad.e280ff04d54906d4

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Since even one choice I 7fe40795f0 make can affect their future, 1cc98de4e3 I should have been more bed25863a9 careful. And now, because they’ve 476c675f6e become so precious to 9346aec9fe me—so much more than 3cdbb7ac7d they were at the 1ac5235a6e start—I couldn’t help but 67b006d183 be swallowed up by b3a0e3846b these regrets.3f6c467205c0e96a

So, for years, 1317f4ae0d I carried that f1e429e423 burden alone, unable 984e74dd26 to tell anyone. And eventually, when 9dee7b0e0a it became too 2609d16f68 much to handle, 9ad9810a15 I left on d901990486 an impulsive solo 7249b4b0c6 trip. Just two days ee00909baa before summer vacation 40bdcb40e7 ended.87ddc359577309fa

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No matter my reasons, it’s c94c5cdccb a fact that I’m the 7281916a1c reason Hee-jun is angry. With an awkward df5af22f09 smile—the kind only 37513c5d36 someone full of 0ef3ded29c guilt could wear—I defd751f61 stepped out of d86c9401c8 the room.d0564db029f65415

You could call it an dc666d6de4 excuse, but honestly, this escape db710b54cc wasn’t something I could help. Do you really think I a475173901 wanted to leave the side 2c037525be of the only two people 970c7d3c80 I’d grown close to? But the stress had gotten 2b805cbfbd so bad that I’d started 6abff91f71 having nightmares every night after 4a8c219af9 seeing them, or waking up c741392147 at dawn to throw up 1a86bf9747 when it got too extreme.918aff309aa595ac

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The fear I was 54f90e7a17 trying to endure alone e2d65afcef made it impossible to ce000ed175 stay by their sides e56b6db8b9 any longer.b7422d56765d3d04

And then, on cf17c9cedc top of it 38372629f1 all, something terrible d3a78e12d2 happened.8551babae7f2216c

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I suddenly presented. As an omega, no less.0a791a572ddc2928

To sum it 802fbdfaf0 up, the sub 92f7729867 gong ‘beta’ from 99aa856021 the original story—Lee af0bb4573d Sa-eon—had suddenly manifested 52927989a3 as an omega.dc0f71f7a44f4ec1

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It was far 8629b33d96 too big of 9c6e8e6859 a deal to 701122741b just go “oh, 30126c669d okay” and move 9939042351 on. What scared me f4f533163e even more was e12fb59994 that I had 60f2d49750 no idea what 9bddee7458 kind of effect 66d3e98a9b my manifestation would 6dcbe8c031 have on the 23d705c724 other two.7e063f94310a7ff4

One day, out of 303e3f7ae4 nowhere, Hee-jun grabbed me df5fd3288e and said, “You smell d932694fdd nice,” and then stuck 1d6cdc23c3 by my side the 8780476f5a entire day. That alone had been a 5861980e99 massive shock to me.f6a0a6775e2355d6

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Sure, I’d given up 46d4bdfb5c on the original romance e3188cacb6 storyline a long time 6127976548 ago. But that didn’t mean f00a99cc83 I wanted to have 70296d9828 any kind of ‘influence’ 1898322352 on the two of cc5bd37805 them. And this manifestation—something that hadn’t c77d9c1003 even existed in the original—was b6ce7510a6 absolutely the kind of thing 6a2fa3aaed that could influence them.fe49c8d5ffe38d43

So once again, e3b21158c0 I did some 17b0e913ac digging and found 6305a99b27 out that overseas, 6faab18eec treatment for pheromone d72a951786 issues was more 0bee48be36 advanced. Hoping it might help, d71832b0e8 I brought it up d660678c1d with my parents, and e7123de26d after discussing it, we e2d0498c9f decided that I’d head 88e95a9c84 overseas for a bit 768d197812 to try and deal 486c13e0be with… this sudden problem.a35d91d9686e5688

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But Eun and 90c741bb52 Hee-jun made such fcf1fb3a09 a fuss, contacting 1fbf3c7343 me nonstop like 04c28d23e7 a pair of 7f7c0099cc lost kittens, begging 2bccb3a6c9 me to come 6b588d7130 back, that I b6e23a7762 ended up returning d4229c41c7 sooner than I d53a836a30 planned. If they’d only 94b35a9506 called ‘me’, maybe e87dc0f830 I could’ve ignored 5ba31f4a68 it—but they even f4fe8739c5 pestered my parents 424527ebd0 and Auntie Jin-joo, 11bb7d0c26 so I had 6efd22a845 no choice.b0ef00dbba1a427d

Completely suppressing awakened 620930f175 pheromones turned out 8531772876 to be harder aedfddc2ee than expected. Since I was 627dd2f4d7 still young, the c89ae0c842 doctor said surgery 7b12a9c643 could come with b710902787 major side effects. There was even the 706578ae45 possibility that my ability 949da6b9d8 to detect pheromones could a306638390 become completely paralyzed.2a3e1cf4d4717f76

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My doctor recommended trying a d167a15e73 pheromone-suppressing procedure for a year be3b9482ba first, then deciding about surgery fc2c2a05c3 based on how things went. My parents and I agreed. Well, my parents c2b212aa83 tried to talk b6e26278c3 me out of 29c7d81fc8 it, saying it 571ebb3304 wasn’t necessary, but 8f23259170 I pushed hard 6ce7358fdd and eventually got 6987fcc073 them to sign cd5a1a74b1 the consent form.f5080daa42dc73ec

After getting the procedure, I abde1879ff was more or less dragged 294602f2b4 back by the two who a7f4e0eeeb hadn’t stopped reaching out the bea2cde012 entire time I was away.b8984829c54bb530

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“Next time I go, I’ll need to get the treatment completely finished before I can come back…”3b48ef4b9971bff2

With that thought lingering in cd49a3c057 the back of my mind, 9e71539ccd I mumbled quietly—too softly for 4698135c0e Hee-jun to hear on the 5f6f8fc50e other end of the call.
Then, as if I’d never d50a90f798 had such thoughts in the 1a5ef02a26 first place, I asked brightly:32f417062f66d04a

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“Come on, what’s wrong?”3397dafab351cb61

– Ah… it’s nothing, really. Just… my friend disappeared two days before summer break ended. Didn’t contact anyone until twenty minutes before school started again. Wouldn’t that piss anyone off? Right?32af49358b82e4fd

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What started out harsh ended 8e3d797447 up sounding more like a 2f0c799792 whine by the end.fb73255d8afdd17e

Listening to Hee-jun’s 0ce9d6e3d2 grumbling, I walked fd0727ef9a to the kitchen 4a72efcee3 to get breakfast. I set my 9364ee36df backpack down on be2c2162bd a chair, switched 3af84ded39 the phone to d8e5f1328b speaker mode, and b68ca9563c placed it on 20cccbe4bf the table.38697a6bcf904b5b

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Even as I took out a bowl and cereal from the cupboard and grabbed milk from the fridge, Hee-jun didn’t say a word. It was as if he was screaming, “I’m mad!” without actually saying it.58d9ba5ae90801f4

Pouring cereal into the bowl 1efa122c7e and milk over it, I 3fb96a0b01 tried to soothe him.30e0ac9a6df4707b

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“Maybe that friend had a reason for it?”65c65bc0d09d2f12

He scoffed at how I 50ade22c50 was talking like it was ae5ef118ee someone else’s story—but soon muttered 4bb16bb822 in a quiet voice.9a97d88c029fb9f4

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– …Still, you could’ve at least sent a text.2de21717355ad922

“Were you upset that I didn’t contact you at all?”3668e0753ed513e8

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– I was worried. Yeah, I was upset too. But more than that—I was really worried. Lee Sa-eon, you’ve never gone completely off the grid like this except for that one time you were hospitalized. I seriously thought… ha, I thought something had happened. Next time, at least send a message. Got it?80a72d7fcb99d3a2

The more he spoke, the 78a566da39 more agitated he seemed to 28332495df get. His words grew longer, his 6c7d434da2 emotions rising with them. Hearing him spill everything like 1ff7baa9f6 he’d been holding it in, e9676d456f I gave an awkward little 8ffc059980 laugh and answered obediently for d93a451988 now.65b12c2acb85fb72

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“Yeah. I will.”66105142dbe4a345

– You’re always good at saying that. Oh, right. Lee Sa-eon, let’s go to school together today.c8488e0b5d0f11b4

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“Ah, I was planning to head out a bit early today. Is that okay? You usually leave 27093a22c2 a little late, 4bfc615f81 don’t you?”c7df320f678b508c

– We’re going together.95fab091ddf34b7d

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Honestly, seeing the two 43d164725c of them still made 3b5b454bb0 me uneasy, and I e7c0842de4 was also a little 935fa37e9b worried about going to 5600d568c1 school so early. But Hee-jun completely 31363c5087 ignored that and f1c793dffd insisted we go e561259166 together. He didn’t seem like he 33372c1e10 was going to budge, so 47e750a141 I quietly agreed.0a78fe1a886e844d

When he’s like this, he’ll 44b4b0a2da definitely follow me even if 322386c358 I say no.e3aecd3a4a1631b8

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At my half-resigned, half-bewildered agreement, d5ba8b4b57 I heard Hee-jun let out 854880749a a low laugh of satisfaction 3f84473cd1 from the other end of c14a8d0e10 the line.a5530f724b0fbc35

He said he’d 7dacbfffed come to my 35bfbb671d place and told 96ba21290f me to be 0ce79c319c ready in about d192e9ed93 ten minutes. After that, he went silent.8497694267f4c4ba

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Hee-jun not saying b787713140 anything further basically 6ca5f65502 meant I should 133e0d4e31 hang up. He’d never once ended 813f7dcf92 a call first before. He always waited be863e1cda until I hung 55ac71c26f up.773590ded20bf876

Familiar with the routine, 1bc3921e04 I ended the call dc9144bf74 and finished my cereal. After washing the dishes, b0528e4f03 I got ready for c086f0325d school.c96bf0fb3c5e1234

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Checking my watch, bbcf12ca98 I saw that 519ccd8d55 it was nearly fba61a14d0 time for Hee-jun 21fbf04349 to arrive.dbd9fc939f2c119d

Earlier this year, both 958336ad6c of my parents had 3e9fe57377 been transferred to overseas 20dde0a216 branches. Because of that, 62f99564f8 I’d moved out 5a6443be66 and started living caba43d160 on my own. This officetel was a bit eda4b61c98 far from school, but it 5e63a6f65e was close to a train 9e52b4ba5d station.eb2209bf5c69f83a

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My parents, who liked a9da0fa973 quiet places, had deliberately 3cf3ba9bd3 chosen a unit on d7505524fb the top floor where 36ee742729 noise wouldn’t reach. It was spacious for someone 41c3d39c79 living alone, but my parents 200c920800 said that since I’d be 1d8404e9d2 here a long time, it cfd7b4dc7d was better to go big.516df3427f0e5a89

Other than the interior 5e7ec42f7a design, not much had 279ee40093 changed from the house 7d11a8a434 I’d lived in with fd8db7f674 my parents. The main difference was 18bfe49bdc that, unlike the old cdd79c5e58 house where the living f3b6836183 room was always dim 43ace02093 with curtains drawn, this cf9feb57fe place was filled with ce58937e0b sunlight since the curtains 73145540db were always open. Some of the empty a1236d3455 rooms had become half-used 7e5e00acce by my friends, too.c2b63e955140b4fd

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In a drawer beneath the bd7540faeb rarely-used TV sat a shark d3ffb757a1 plush, a hamster, and a a803468517 cat doll.e91956fca1f4870e

When was it again? We’d stopped by an 6b566f655a arcade for a bit, 9f4ac27a65 and Hee-jun had gone b163bbca67 wild catching every plush 5533a5d6f2 in sight. Among them, we each picked 931af26600 one that resembled us the 7add57542e most in color or vibe. But after picking, both Eun 4c5a8b75b8 and Hee-jun insisted I take 7bd4445417 all of them home. So I ended up 21ca31903d with the light brown f0815183da cat that looked like 733ae87961 Eun and the soft 06cd4007b4 gray shark that looked 4d4b1bd845 like Hee-jun.7cb3501c2463e4d9

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Ever since that 59dc29c178 day, those animal 0ce25b2b6c plushies had naturally 41049153fd become our little 3684d1ab17 symbols. I mean, why a hamster? A cat’s toy? And for the shark… I 9dec925a2c wouldn’t even be a bite-sized 862eb3a1ee snack. Not even half a bite. Feeling a little suffocated, I 19ee12e63b poked and messed with the 811c014414 shark and cat plushies on eef86b9117 the drawer before heading out.19016d886f2e918e

After getting off the 12c746acfe elevator and walking into 0bb25db3d2 the lobby, I saw efe3ac88f7 Hee-jun sitting on the b5d519c4f4 stairs in front of 261550c821 the main entrance.ef8e250aafe3aca0

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I rushed out 6370c17c1d through the glass d38730f3d2 doors and half-jogged c6ba276423 toward him.8cc5c3c705ddc083

“Hee-jun!”5688de4c22f37a13

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At the sound of his a4ec287f08 name called cheerfully, he looked 6f30c20357 up from his phone, his 1d86d1a99a headset pulled snugly over his 9f9a243050 head.ae640b13d745712b

I stood beside him, c12db00f39 idly thinking, Wow, he ba097e5b00 actually heard me with 2551598e1c those on.695e3d846f564beb

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“Good morning. Sleep well?”7f19e321a47d17ee

It had been a d49b163974 while since I’d seen a3b22cbe21 his face, and it a2dd30fbb1 made me genuinely happy. I greeted him with cc101142d2 a wide smile, and 60f0024bcd after staring at me e136cefa6b in silence with tightly 0ca57f2380 pressed lips, he rose 586382ad6a to his feet.ce14b972d05d455b

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I was sure bcce7a15a7 we were about 58e846a2aa the same height b28709e141 when we first 6c3a13eedd met, but now fc7b5cff1b he had grown 0d906c9ea3 a good two 10ab7d72c6 finger-widths taller than aa86c52932 me.8f797dbb1b23fdbf

I looked at him with 045f6a4f54 a proud gaze, thinking, He’s e2b81c754d really grown well.
I wondered how many people ce4c259826 could still picture the boy b01647b1b3 he used to be, just a7f4dd27bb by looking at the Hee-jun c1aa3aa0bd now.13f05ab738900b30

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His bangs, which 050aaf9f58 used to hang bd403cc078 long enough to f9e098da23 cover his eyes, 9eb6826e3e were now neatly 13fe2b5e6d trimmed to a 5389707f54 proper length. His frame, once 18bd363d73 so skinny you 5310492dbf could feel every 9bb51d926d bone just by e98b4a60cb touching him, had 882562c513 become firm with a9ee487b3c regular exercise.129f9e7ee7cec68a

The face that 36a59a23eb had once been 2043524b80 marked with so f54719b246 many wounds it 7cde47f3bf was hard to 58235f0483 see what he ea6cdddf1f originally looked like 752c768ef5 was now smooth 38cef85e8b and pale. I reached up, ce3fbb803d brushing away a 07588b9bce strand of hair b0254e9c0e stuck to his a5691585a1 neck, and let 9d33682354 out a soft 43ab88dbbd laugh.2d3edd0fc99a58d0

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Thinking about how dearly 0fc07163e5 his aunt must have f7d3602e86 raised him, it made c96cb4a0d2 sense he’d grown up 75e785ef4e so much that the 3e732efcab past barely felt real c19c5df5d2 anymore.3c188bd005663a73

Not long after 21594e1757 I brought Hee-jun 25baa2ac67 out of that 58b26b7a9d neighborhood, my parents 4f88b816f4 managed to track f64423d830 down his relatives. They eventually got in touch abce6bff92 with his aunt by chance.923178c378e1a821

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His aunt, Auntie 52084efce7 Jin-joo, had taken 57320218da him in without 2074dcc516 hesitation, just a 87fcdc08d8 little earlier than 4ea1847111 she had in aa24b4a4c6 the original story.c94aa8f5c86e71c6

Since then, she’d poured out 71c05bd4a0 both love and money to c674c5f70a raise Hee-jun. So it was no surprise c6807595ba at all that, over time, 9fc91e921f he’d grown into someone this 39d9d5b711 admirable.a5faf7b91aa17b68

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Aunt Jin-joo cared 2481428d1b for me and 87bd510116 Eun as well. Knowing there were people who 9399ae7ea3 loved Hee-jun and Eun even 82f829073f without me in the picture… 1ef931aa69 that was a relief.bdc6c2af534b8bb8

Lost in that thought, my 89c33385fd mind naturally wandered back to 429eb567b5 the first time I met be1477e311 Aunt Jin-joo.55a36cbe4573d891

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She’d said that 76ae35c612 she’d heard a 4652fe2467 lot about me f80c3d3e98 from Hee-jun, and 2c2a3a6050 was happy to cbe1030c08 finally meet me 5f68f0c0d6 in person. Then she added there 9fd38096bb was something she’d always 38995bd5bf wanted to ask me fe8a8acba8 once we met.12189aa5fe93e4c7

“I heard from Hee-jun that you were the one who gave him that name. But how did 1fca7232f5 you come up 942d3a924e with ‘Hee-jun’?”9c4ff1557f7e5536

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She explained that she had 7630796d72 also originally wanted to name efa61358e5 him “Hee-jun,” with the exact 622db4c6de same Chinese characters: 햇살 희 69f1ca4af8 (sunlight “hee”) and 좇을 준 0977031321 (to follow “jun”).6f79c3dbdc637b90

That absolutely floored me.
The name “Hee-jun” was from 0e90038b31 the original novel, sure—but I’d 3be60308d1 picked those exact Chinese characters 63eceee846 myself.97dc9c2e92a8562c

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So I’d thought maybe 978cd7f812 she’d use different ones 08d272ea74 when she renamed him… 5c41a7d33b but to find out 9f9bf005f1 the name and even 2a0fb0469d the characters matched what 8aaab90093 she’d planned all along—it 3bb81d06ac was such a shock.1cd19dca5bea28a2

Even now, it feels kind e81c70fc31 of unreal. It made me wonder 1d8c7a377a if destiny was really c0bd38d863 a thing. Like, maybe it just proves 62f4dc080e that Hee-jun was always meant 0f9e058713 to follow the sunlight—to be 9a48e941a4 someone who lives beneath the fe7f201ca7 sun.31993ec9c8f2e767

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Wrapped up in that 73b27e0512 strange, sentimental mood, I a4e0fbca51 smiled at Hee-jun as ed5210105b he stood tall in 2f9135888d the sunlight, looking right 64b4350dfb at me.
He was still f5d8647cda frowning slightly, like 7a8afb5dc8 he wasn’t ready d79da2a3e3 to let go b71ced884f of his grudge—but 7d4da76bba only for a 88f4a1d3c2 moment. After silently watching me smile, 02e2852c0d his expression slowly softened, like 1ed7ef0598 he was admitting defeat, and 2f0413b88a he finally replied a little fd76a76f95 late.adf92c5e44de8ae9

“…I slept fine. You? Did you sleep well?”740eafc341f12380

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“I did. Slept just fine.”30d9dd3786f3fba1

The name I called 20e89058c0 out brightly made him cc6c834380 lift his head from 28c2618b4d his phone, even with cfcd104d2c his headset pulled down cdd5b65282 tight.a67341e2bb47b55c

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He actually heard me through 8849086b40 that thing, I thought absently 5c35bb2509 as I walked up and 401f9743d6 stood beside him.5c3dc3c73f8a6ec3

“Good morning. Sleep well?”12665c3f71bc6e23

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It was genuinely da79b276b2 nice to see 43ff85bbf8 his face again 4a257e4ad1 after so long. At my cheerful greeting, aeae72c95c he kept his mouth b35b8a1e56 firmly shut but stood e33f557b36 up from where he’d 760a0fa364 been sitting.ead06fe3b8180ac7

When we first met, 4adbb51659 we were about the f3b61ba241 same height. Now, he was 4bdd453423 at least two 6d8513f025 finger joints taller.79333cffdaf77ce3

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I looked up at him 9ad797acdb with proud eyes, thinking he’d ae6fc0104f grown so well. I wondered how many 4e81ba19b1 people could still picture 2ab56165ac the boy he used 7539f424aa to be just by ba2f0a9b9b looking at him now.11aab2f8586acd96

His bangs, which once faaf7b725e hung over his eyes, 8c8cfef055 were now neatly trimmed. The body that 564ca6b43e once felt all f4d13e7290 bones when touched 6ff6d5aaf4 had filled out 25d3676f4f with steady exercise.96fe62358e5c9ddd

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His face, once so covered 52902aca76 in scars it was hard 05571b3fda to recognize, was now smooth ecb65fbadc and pale. I reached out 67ef6b0dc1 and gently brushed 468ea9bc26 a strand of 2aac0888d4 hair off his 2e005aaa5c neck, smiling softly.b54a5cf5550568d2

Well, it made 5f2e135a29 sense—especially knowing how b5e2bfadf6 much love his dc30768451 aunt had raised a3d0b17d67 him with. Of course he would grow 546451673d to the point where you 7e4011feff could hardly recall the past.aeb37fa28994c0b4

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Not long after I pulled 4f10cfc783 Hee-jun out of that neighborhood, a383b88c94 my parents had tracked down 88d27edc0f his relatives. That’s how we ended up 8aa5663f71 getting in touch with his 3eb022b9bc aunt by chance.dda28d8dbd750629

His aunt, Auntie Jin-joo, de589ae5f2 took him in like c230b19f9d it was the most fc558039d3 natural thing in the ace6ed45c4 world—slightly earlier than in 774f0e0b37 the original story, but 633f81e7f9 it didn’t matter.8788603a7d536acb

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Since then, she’d raised him 21f8b3f931 with an abundance of affection 5ffadd7cc0 and money. So, of course he turned de83f66c18 out like this—handsome and well 183e72046d put together.e38c60fd5751751a

Auntie Jin-joo cared for Eun 21d209eb83 and me as well. It was a comfort, knowing 5ad3943d72 there were people who loved a232338718 Eun and Hee-jun even without 5ed1e64666 me.33db1e62ec741a84

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Thinking about that brought back 9f1b5269c6 the memory of the first 3cf690dd1e time I met Aunt Jin-joo.cbcebc3c67edf4cb

She told me she’d heard c2bf135880 a lot about me from 97d0243733 Hee-jun and that it was 0f0719f2ba great to finally meet me. Then she said 47a818abbc there was something a824629f49 she’d always wanted b4f2d7eb2f to ask.8fd779662a5d17e0

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“I heard you were the one who gave Hee-jun his name. But how did 9728342001 you come up c9d6135cdb with ‘Hee-jun’?”4894a88d1d251471

She said she’d also 38e16d31fd wanted to name him 497132e205 “Hee-jun” originally, and that 0d3c970ff3 she planned to use 9d7ee959c4 the exact same Chinese ee93339f43 characters: 햇살 희 (sunlight a25d0dd91c ‘hee’) and 좇을 준 ceba92d873 (to follow ‘jun’).9735bd821eefd468

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That stunned me.b03273d6dbb2b4cf

Sure, I’d borrowed c334e89611 the name “Hee-jun” 265097aff5 from the original c7bfa76351 novel—but the characters b221b90504 were something I ab63a28868 chose myself.66aea2d18e07331b

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So I’d assumed she might 1cae793c1a use different ones when she a67c93fa5d officially renamed him… but to bd177348ed hear that her original plan 9268e4615c was the exact same name, 9fa799a4c5 with the exact same characters—I 43a9cccf98 was floored.88ecfb8de76c0b13

Even now, it feels surreal. Like maybe fate ab5e561f24 really is a ec0158e8d9 thing. And maybe all of 68ef77f9b3 it proves Hee-jun was c4c3b68e00 always meant to follow 0707a003d8 sunlight—to belong under it.132582714a6d9062

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Caught up in those strange 763b2ac631 feelings, I smiled at Hee-jun, bd33674e4e who was standing tall in 1eefd45fea the sunlight and staring right ee62d3a6f3 at me.
He still looked 881b9d6724 a little grumpy, ccf713a150 clearly not over 7f6778914b it, but when 3c66adf8a7 he saw me b271513bf6 smiling, his expression 186fbddc1f softened like he 675442c55c was giving in, c6ad160ff6 and he finally 9cf2c6392e replied, a beat 5f133a505d late.9c2cb4f60433a24b

“…I slept fine. You?”9ad135e7e708d92b

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“I did too.”2ce5e4efdad4a466

The truth was, I barely fc0c4279bb slept at all thanks to 6b6b13af63 jet lag. But if I said 8fd0b7478a that out loud, Hee-jun 2d31776269 would just start worrying a1c025d120 again. So I lied with a 389bc0ac1b fresh-sounding voice and grabbed onto 8938aa560e the sleeve of his hoodie.2ca3b9918b8caa8d

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Holding hands with 2b014cbad1 a guy our 72d60c9111 age felt a b0c3d6612c bit awkward, so 0025614340 instead, I just 0e2c18500d held his sleeve.
But whether he 75e93c321d understood my intention df587354db or not, Hee-jun 5279485d6b pulled his sleeve d9790a0386 out of my 066f746fbb grip—and slid his 0e4295014a hand into mine 115f5e553b like it was 56cd277cf9 the most natural 0dafbcd58c thing in the 9f6ed65c04 world.
I glanced at him efbed62e0a and just let out 33921701d7 a soft laugh.ad704e8d3f175047

“You’re not gonna tell me why you didn’t contact us, are you?”d5e3d677b0ab2cbc

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“Hmm…”4cf92b6df816fc20

“Forget it. If you don’t want c8420fd68e to talk about it, adbc3538fd I’m not gonna push.”549854669bae98e5

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The look in his eyes ea6e294c31 was still full of hurt, b3b55db69a so his words made me f158911acc feel grateful and kind of 2db45c9ae4 amused.
I laughed again and ruffled 28aa0251d8 his hair lightly.317f2e6e13478403

“But how come Eun didn’t message me this morning? That’s rare.”cf8e0e8f17539ee7

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He’d been contacting 32695e1e10 me just as 4e6ed0cf9c consistently as Hee-jun 30f291b26a until yesterday, so 168d94048e it’s not like 04c1c9acfc he was mad b98968cd3b enough to ignore 8169155a60 me altogether. I had no idea why 75d8ebab8c he hadn’t reached out.b11bf74be6f1504a

Tilting my head, c172461f32 I noticed belatedly d8740496dc that Hee-jun was d9c0e8a559 unusually silent.
He was darting 2008c7e87b his eyes around 69918a97c5 like someone caught c04af9eae3 in the act.60191efebf0df4b4

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“…Are you two seriously still fighting over me at your age? Just split me f290886f7d in half and 66ad096d69 take one side b7d924a9d6 each.”b7f1e32566f448ee

I said it c610af9e21 like I was 373622f734 scolding two little e015240c8c kids fighting over 80e83f8691 a favorite toy.
He quickly spoke up in 0818bec194 his own defense.1828e9382f99ef81

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“No… I mean, come on, be real. He’s in the same e2e7dd955e class as you—he gets 2c853a1ac4 way more time with 9fc463fc42 you than I do. Not only am I b118307ed2 in a different class, ee5d072841 I’m on a different f7ea1f380d floor! How is that af9f100eac fair at all? Everyone knows we’re close.”69f056aad13d5f7d

So you told him not 43a36c7aef to come today, I thought, b3c5929147 even as I nodded outwardly 6d115e56df like I understood.691c70bd5900eaf3

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The two of them 0f90b3bdd8 often fought over me.
Since I was the one 24dc98b17f who had protected and saved 2cc0a46004 them when they were younger, 1b13ef934c it was sort of unavoidable.d134cf3e6307b13b

Sometimes people gave us fad7395720 weird looks, and yeah, 854036319c their constant attention could bed523daf3 feel like too much. But for now, I 9a66bbe7c6 could handle it.fde89e19a47dfebd

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Still, if there ever comes 5e9a819b13 a time when I feel 41eec79972 like they don’t need me c79c70e223 anymore, I think I’ll have c40c90796d to step back and put bde0516e5d some space between us—for my d2fdb293c0 own sake.102907bf3207d935

To be honest, I’ve 092f34e2bc been too close to 8f3db98594 the two of them 3932977117 for too long.7368e63361513374

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Sure, the pressure can be a85fce0fac overwhelming… but more than that, 68125968af being around characters who sit 22448d8e0c at the very heart of ee920698d5 the story I’ve been possessed 1aca30df14 into—it just keeps pulling me 1a9d09eaef back to the original plot.
It makes me think 3195423b1a about it. Dwell on it.752e1374181f1200

And before I know it, 7c6be9e85e I’m caught up in the dd667b73b3 story again.
I hate that feeling.48a447b6c9a7fc74

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I mean, wouldn’t anyone hate 5ce23bbc3c it? Seeing yourself act like some 1f92af92fb prophet, predicting the future because 4ef42a1655 you “already know what happens c129ee4e3a in the original”…68c0e12a68b91701

Just as my c689324795 mood started to 035d758561 sink, a hand cc48384cd2 popped out and bfabc467e2 lightly tapped my 476b02f656 forehead.
I turned, wondering 211f989ab6 what it was, 7be50b584f and saw Hee-jun d9720c3430 frowning slightly as a41ffd62b5 he touched my e54ef6faf7 forehead, raising his 7f41e8abd5 brows.579f55b30c06acaa

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“You’re fine. I thought you were 1a03176535 sick or something—you weren’t 130a0aaef4 saying anything.”caa346d883565a32

“Ah, I just had a lot on my mind…”f7fd279157e776f8

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I rubbed the spot ab72a76495 where his hand had 1c65377464 been with my fingertips a2ea56aa4c as I mumbled.
He stared at me 075528c12c for a moment like 085e71508b he was trying to 83ab391a9b judge if I was 618bf0585d telling the truth. Then, as if convinced it 66fa438ad1 really was nothing, he grabbed 9988446941 my hand tightly and took 81581112cf the lead.d9bc0362f67e0622

As we walked the quiet 523cf7d6ef path to school, we chatted f168f06bea about the cat he’d started 8ea74e2026 raising earlier this year.
By the time the 1b16d832f8 topic had shifted to 5670e27def things that happened over 6ba3c2f694 the summer, we were ddcd0f88a7 already at school.9485fb851c0c9d31

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Since our classrooms were e59d21b0bf on different floors, I 9db3192327 told him to just ba3571be73 head to his, but d168ef1cdc he insisted on walking 16fcede220 me all the way e28ff0bc73 to mine.
I stared at him for 58d9d8d35c a second, then blurted out df04ea6d87 a question.f08f0412da3639bb

“You’re still not gonna tell me the cat’s name?”5c9da501b2fabeae

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“…Nope.”aa42f1a3bc6743e3

“Seriously, why? I want to know. Is it your f3f73502a7 bank account password 7095d70676 or something? If it is, d4236100b1 I’ll let it 56228a042e go.”da46d24ce1ae0880

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Muttering about what 1bd02cbad8 kind of name acfd41f01c it could possibly 249ac1ea7b be to warrant 05909a4b33 all this secrecy, c7155c3299 I watched him 8e0d06c7eb laugh.
His lips curled slightly, and 7635c3115e I sighed, half-annoyed.a04c929b0d85bd3f

“You told Eun.”567ef42ae0c976fd

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“He doesn’t count.”9b4fa3123524bde7

Not “It’s fine,” but bd805bb492 “He doesn’t count”?
I tilted my 0eec474989 head, confused, and ab0d0f91b9 drooped my eyes.e2e082fb902d6f58

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“…But why not me?”c40da38c5b7d8a9e

“Not yet. I’ll tell you later. Someday.”8e2b13c55964ac8a

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Hee-jun, apparently guilt-free, repeated 7a4e0fac4b what he’d said months a2a0e45c13 ago. I almost called him out 0588c2902f but held back.5e129879c4922811

Maybe it was because I 7009c57815 never called its name, but 0520fa1f28 the cat Hee-jun was raising d29418647c never came near me. I licked my lips absently, e0afb9066d thinking of the soft, black-furred 5bc8870ca2 cat I could never quite ec82ffc733 pet.e6f0e5a5d1afc701

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Just as I was about f0e40703f2 to open the classroom door, 25e06659e6 Hee-jun, who had been silently 45c3e6ba98 watching me from behind, suddenly 2a2edfbbe2 spoke.5243c133f67708d4

“Don’t just hang out with Ha-eun.”19e940e1178275fd

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“Huh?”c70c98f274c4898f

“Play with me too. I won’t ask you to 9120f3c486 come to my class—I’ll come 282a4e4da9 to yours every break. So let’s hang out.”c4fcf2cc4d90f4b0

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Not that “hanging out” really 0fb4fd5731 involved much. We read books, did homework, ecdaebd53f or just joked around.e12d4be37290424c

Well, there was a7c643e39e one unique thing. A friend I’d grown 8d08b5658c close with over three 7e6555d1aa years in the same 5bdd60ce9b class—Ha-jung—had a hobby of 9c620a140d filming and uploading videos 743155eb56 on YouTube. So when I hung out 96924c98b1 with him, I sometimes helped abb3a55d28 him shoot footage.84399f7bac7e2182

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Point is, even then, 0027d0b30e we weren’t doing anything 75d842f6f2 so exciting that it 4c7ff7112b was worth using up ab5acfb5ac the short break time daf32e8299 to visit another class.e40826957cf5e2e7

But if he wanted to 7e1b26078f come, who was I to d91902dd3b stop him? I couldn’t think of a d1a3f19344 polite way to refuse, so a3ef71a7b6 after mouthing a few words, 9f1441bda4 I ended up nodding.a1445d1c1bf9b92b

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“Mm, sure! Let’s hang out. I’ll wait, so come 6b2a7b6332 if you have time. You know my schedule, right?”da86b7f16cc994e4

“Yeah.”36bf1489f65c1ef8

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“If it’s not passing time, I’ll just sit in the classroom quietly and wait for you.”eb8dc27fe827392d

I playfully said 86f5cdc160 it with a 84eff2418c shy smile. Hee-jun looked at 14b7f05441 me like I 5831742665 was being ridiculous, 04325baa54 then slowly took a32594e09c off his headset. Maybe it was from wearing 51797348f2 it so long, but his 98f3771b93 ears were especially red. I reached out and lightly 0cca730567 tapped the warm earlobe.e5966955221f5b85

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Thinking I was teasing him, 28120e6d58 he frowned and brushed my fd9648570a hand away from his ear. I wasn’t trying to be 0ea16e7779 annoying, so I let my 61209c156a hand be pushed aside without 7aace0ae58 protest. Smiling gently, I waved my 1363fe4894 fingers.082edae9611bd70d

“See you later.”717ee12ec45a1e03

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I watched him f15302a8a3 nod before turning ff1aa807fa and walking into ef2075f9d8 the classroom. It was still early, b85dc143c8 so only a few 8cc4005042 students were there—but the 51425cb78c two I was looking ccde6494e2 for were.590e9d31d060c7fd

Eun was slumped over his 884b287c6c desk, and Ha-jung was fiddling 205efce0bd with his phone, as always. Neither seemed to 98df0c7569 have noticed me 2bd3e1c2f7 at all. Feeling mischievous, I tiptoed bbcd52adc4 forward to surprise them.da551a6d2899192c

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I snuck up on d2afc91a44 Ha-jung first. The moment I grabbed him d18fe63f6d from behind, he shrieked, “Wahh!!” f69d4d07bf in a way that was b8a6b7a5a8 way too funny. His reactions were 10bb873c79 always so over-the-top.8138d74e94383d03

“Ha-jung.”1b7cdfec2f71d0a6

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“Oh, fuck! You ghosted me the whole d4bce2b919 break even though we were 8fc6e9fbab supposed to hit the beach 395adc9e53 together, and now you show ae6b44fa70 up just two days before 93260076d5 school starts?! And this is how you 9e592b9aaf greet me? I nearly had a c2ad0ca0b1 heart attack!”97b36812352e31a8

“Sounds like you’ve got a lot bottled up… But hey, keep it down. Why’re you shouting? I’m heading to Eun next.”ec4c128129004667

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Ha-jung gave me a bcbf2d3479 you’ve got to be 32cfe8b26d kidding me look, then 4cee0b918f stretched his neck to b70679d755 peek over at Eun’s 3643d0a82e desk.2ca8165b99489491

“He was like that when I got here too. Think he pulled 611805089e an all-nighter or 770da798b4 something? Looks like he’s still asleep. Go for it. He deserves it! I’m not suffering alone!”0c072629c0b69085

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“My dear Ha-jung, you’re enjoying this way too much.”6b365a5ef99c5421

“Babe! I told you not 1a7ab96cb3 to whisper in my a9f16dee97 ear—I’m super ticklish, remember?!”3b40fde637001be0

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He’d been smiling like 347bfccdb5 a goof but suddenly 9aa6f6a994 snapped with that sharp 438003f298 bite of his. He even shook his head 7dd6c32ae5 like a dog, slapping at 7b802bd2fa his ear.3ed511909a8333af

I remembered seeing b45ad78019 a dog do a0d10cb305 that on YouTube 7ce3b3169a when its ear 56c4c232f3 was itchy. He really did look 1b194ffee5 like a puppy. That fluffy brown ff25c6d0d6 hair, those jet-black 5b738875c8 eyes. He even acted like one. I nodded in admiration.882e4b82caa0f85a

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Well, Eun’s cute d8f9f74a35 because he looks 9549b0b7ad like a pretty 3fcb84f460 boy, and all f2c62947be his actions match. I guess people a799ffeaad really do act af9abca128 the way they 8d65705bae look.80bd01236516c307

Lost in that 4f283fd01b silly thought, I 2fa64649f4 quietly made my 0a8a421e80 way toward Eun.363558e580195f78

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I mean, he’s 822c8d1db2 definitely sulking, right?
So how do 538d8c3220 I even begin a45adccbc3 to make it 0fdd51d62d up to him…?e3e2fbfa1ff1a3a3

Eun tends to hold onto 55e14682ed emotions for a while and 3cd025a14b is the type to express 22990fa610 them directly rather than bottle ae5bcf0299 them up. If I messed bc19018dfa this up, I 95807165b1 might be stuck 9ded521b2a trying to make f5ef9d3ecb it up to 33b043a7af him for days.bcafed77c35f2a45

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All I wanted was to b3bab8d89b get through this last semester 1efa06968c peacefully. Even thinking about 59929a6ae0 it felt exhausting.
I stood beside his 31bde49143 desk, quietly watching his 9dabca4977 round little head for 58e60248bd a moment, then bent 3b426d6701 down and hugged him 29dc7da0c0 from behind.9c860e09174746b5

I wondered for 029c269263 a second if 94de0bdcd2 it was okay 58987b5464 to do that 9ded625613 at school—he’s not f65cb5db0a the type to 0bd6be98ec be overly affectionate 4dc7949592 in public. But just as 18c4e8c7e9 I thought, the 83f463747e moment I hugged 37194ddf59 him, I heard 0380738ec4 his breath catch, 7dfc0ce8e9 trembling faintly. I rested my chin on af6328dd41 his shoulder.37c4d496613ee45a

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“Eun-ah, I’m here. Are you really gonna aeec225219 stay like this?”1e3e01c7e69b8a9c

“…”0d58eeed1d962c3a

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“You mad at me? Hmm? I’m sorry… Are you angry? Do you hate me now? Gonna pretend I don’t exist?”2d4cfed332241c2b

I fumbled through 196dd7377e a clumsy attempt fcdaf7bce8 at aegyo, whispering 12dfc38ffc apologies as I d4ad4e8082 clung to him.5d8c11dee05e69a8

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Slowly, Eun began 701359c109 to sit up.180826aecb885b37

“You say that like you don’t already know.”4a12c386388a1cd4

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“I do know!”3a0a508781dee820

“You know how much I like you, Un…”b37f34fa99cb204b

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“I know that too! That’s why… Since I’m someone 44e75d2977 Eun-ah really loves, can’t you b9d5bdb47c forgive me just this once? I’ll do better from now 67694ee95b on. Want me to stick to bb54457eaf you like glue every day? Treat you like a prince?”aa167e791f7e7cff

From the side, 06fc01ca79 Ha-jung—who had somehow 69cccb4d23 wandered over to ff034e3bfb spectate—muttered, “Aren’t you cc86bf7af1 already doing that?”
I ignored the comment and 0cd784ae5a plopped down into Eun’s chair.bb66d37b781c66e2

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It was the kind of 55f1b8a1a4 chair that already felt too 06ce2717cf small for one big high 1f8bdad560 school boy, let alone two 68f01faa3e sitting side-by-side. Even though it 10cfbbedc6 must’ve been cramped, 4c3dff5395 Eun didn’t tell b716371c01 me to get e6f2fe0fee off. He just quietly 3a97a57378 scooted a little bf3b126a85 to the side.c18699e65e570622

Grateful for the gesture, e08c0ba218 I carefully wedged myself 5ce2264b84 into the remaining space 8fa545dfcd and grinned as if b03a62c94d I didn’t know any de5049f962 better.4bf04dc1905081e3

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Eun looked like 5987cee64d he had a 33ac475024 lot he wanted 351149a975 to say, but f1c031f46c in the end, 98d18fe651 he said nothing.
That silence made me smile d38c95be84 even wider. Eventually, he smiled back and c262e62cfb rested his head against my bd399ce9d1 shoulder.7cc0ed3f9afe70f5

I raised the hand 3997b61312 that had been gripping 5a79982710 the chair and, out be46946c35 of habit, began gently 38ba617455 playing with his hair.7dc7eafc07292f42

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At that moment, a 5605c29bb6 girl from our class c48d56b484 walked past and muttered 71c15bcf1d as she passed:78bb6ece53daa14e

“Eun’s still completely obsessed with you, huh?”2c17a0cfc4540c81

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