INT Ch 5.2

A view worth taking the time to visit unfolded before them. Holding hands and looking at the night view with someone didn’t suit Hyun Woojin, no matter how hard one tried to fit it. Haewon also had no interest in such activities. He looked at him with silent protest, questioning why they were doing something that made them both uncomfortable.

“Don’t look at my face, look at the night view. I brought you here to see the night view.”

His eyes captured the skyline’s night view. Haewon looked down at their interlocked hands, then turned his gaze to the night view.

The city seen from a high place sparkled like jewels, a cliché expression. Although it was a view he could see from his officetel window, the city looked much more intricate and transparently sparkling like a fairy tale world from a farther, higher place.

After staring outside for a while, Haewon felt a gaze and turned his head. Hyun Woojin was looking at him, still holding his hand. When Haewon tried to pull his hand away, he held it tightly. Haewon gave up and let him do as he pleased. Only then did he hold his hand comfortably.

It was an uneasy feeling. He had suggested they date. It seemed sincere, which made it even more unsettling.

Haewon wasn’t as foolish as Taeshin, who couldn’t distinguish between sincerity and lies. Just as Hyun Woojin misunderstood him as Taeshin’s friend, the arrogant man mistakenly thought that treating Haewon similarly to Taeshin would make him like him wholeheartedly. He didn’t know Haewon at all.

“How many people have you dated so far?”

Hyun Woojin’s face looked bewildered at Haewon’s question.

“Do you count such things? Do kids these days do that?”

He spoke as if he were much older, even though he was only six years older. Instead of answering Haewon’s question, Hyun Woojin cleverly asked back.

“How many have you dated?”

“I’ve never counted. Too many to count on my fingers and toes.”

“I don’t believe it.”

It wasn’t a lie. It was true. Haewon looked at him indignantly.

“It’s true.”

“Then why are you so awkward just holding hands?”

“……”

It was because he had never done such things. If they were attracted to each other, they would mix bodies, but he had never held hands and looked at the night view in a car.

“I’m too busy to see you often.”

He had come to his officetel late at night, laid Haewon on the bed, and left without doing anything. That night had already been several days ago.

If his number hadn’t appeared on Haewon’s phone, he might have thought Hyun Woojin had ended their relationship without notice, as he usually did with those he wanted to break up with. Coincidentally, he had called during practice, so Haewon couldn’t answer, but the few days they hadn’t seen each other didn’t imply the end of their relationship.

“I’ll come when I have time.”

“Do as you please.”

He just smiled quietly at Haewon’s indifferent response. He kept holding his hand and suddenly reached for Haewon’s face with his other hand. Haewon stayed still, watching his hand approach. He was about to pull his cheek and kiss him.

He knew the next steps too well. While kissing, he would move over to his side, and the seatback would recline. The sudden recline of the seatback used to make his heart drop, but he decided not to let it happen this time. He wouldn’t be surprised, nor would he freeze if the center of gravity suddenly shifted.

While Haewon was preparing himself and calculating such things, his hand unexpectedly patted his crown. Like petting a dog or a cat. Haewon widened his eyes in astonishment. He continued to stroke Haewon’s head.

“You’re cuter than I thought.”

“……”

His excessive kindness made him look like a fool. He didn’t seem like someone who would do such things, but Hyun Woojin’s hand naturally stroked Haewon’s head and then moved away.

Through Lee Jinyeong, Hyun Woojin knew explicitly how Haewon had been involved with others.

Haewon could have slept with him several times. He could have slept with him without pretending to be kind in such an unfitting way.

“What are you doing? Who are you pretending to be a college student for?”

Even kids these days didn’t do such things. With an appearance and age that weren’t fresh, he was acting fresh.

“Don’t undress in front of other guys. If you can promise that, I’ll hold you.”

“Who asked you to hold me?”

“I won’t do it until you ask first.”

“That won’t happen.”

“You’ll be the one to ask first.”

Hyun Woojin was toying with his psychology as if playing a game.

“I might never want to undress in front of you.”

“You will. I’ll make sure of it.”

He spoke as if it was a given that making Haewon fall for him was no big deal.

The car was warm with the heater on. The turtleneck around his neck suddenly felt suffocating. Haewon tugged at the cashmere around his neck and twisted his hand, asking him to let go. He didn’t. Eventually, after thoroughly enjoying the night view and feeling sleepy and tired, Hyun Woojin turned the car around and took him back to the officetel.

“Just say you’d rather spread your legs or that you’re not serious, so stop overdoing it. This behavior is awkward. Or you could lock my father up again.”

Haewon spoke to him as he parked the car in the garage. It was a course that overly emphasized that what they were doing was dating.

When Haewon got out of the car, he followed. Hyun Woojin extended his hand, asking for the violin case, but Haewon refused. Even on days when it felt heavy due to poor condition, he had never entrusted his violin to someone else. He had never and would never let anyone else handle his violin.

Now, as they went up to the officetel, Hyun Woojin would create an atmosphere and, despite saying he would wait for Haewon to ask first, he would make the first move. No, the formality of asking didn’t suit him. Someone used to playing with others would create an atmosphere, kiss, and naturally undress him. Haewon silently vowed not to undress himself before his hands did. A pointless stubbornness was building up.

They got off the elevator and walked to the door together. As Haewon was about to enter the door lock code, he turned him around. Leaning against the door, Haewon looked up at him.

“Answer the phone when I call. You see the missed calls. Did you save my number?”

“I don’t do that.”

“If you save it, you won’t miss calls because you don’t know whose number it is.”

“If it’s a call I need to take, I’ll take it.”

“I have to go.”

He used the phrase “I have to go” again. It meant he was just going to leave. He had taken the trouble to ride the elevator up here just to see him off at the officetel door. It was pointless.

Hyun Woojin’s warm hand stroked Haewon’s cheek as he looked at him with suspicion. Haewon avoided his hand, conscious of the empty hallway.

“There’s CCTV here.”

“It doesn’t capture this spot. I checked.”

“When did you check?”

“I just know.”

As he was about to tell him not to say ridiculous things, he tilted his head and pressed his lips to Haewon’s. When his lips touched someone else’s, Haewon’s eyes naturally closed. It wasn’t because it was Hyun Woojin.

His lips had a moderate and appropriate speed and pressure, neither too fast nor too slow. Haewon slightly lifted his face, kissing him while wrapping his arms around Hyun Woojin’s shoulders. With his eyes closed, he immersed himself in Hyun Woojin’s lips. His lips and tongue stirred sensitive, peripheral sensations.

Hyun Woojin thought he was the only one good at kissing. Haewon had never heard anyone say he wasn’t good at it. He subtly stimulated and sucked him just enough to confuse him.

“Mm…”

Haewon deliberately let out a weak moan. He lightly bit and sucked Hyun Woojin’s lower lip. He adjusted his posture and lowered his head further. Haewon stroked the nape of his bent neck. With his other hand, he caressed Hyun Woojin’s shoulder, down his arm, and grabbed his forearm. As Haewon moved, the violin case on his shoulder clattered against the wall. He pulled his hand, making him wrap it around his waist.

Go ahead and try to leave now, Haewon kissed him actively. He felt Hyun Woojin’s lips curve into a smile as they kissed.

When Hyun Woojin slowly pulled away, he felt his tongue slide out between his lips. Haewon looked up at him with hazy eyes.

Are you still going to leave? The atmosphere is so good, kissing feels so good. They had shared a contact that no healthy adult male could coldly turn away from. Haewon licked his wet lips with his tongue. He blinked slowly.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“……”

“Say it with words, not your body.”

“……”

“You really don’t want to say it out loud, do you?”

“……”

“Go inside. You must be tired.”

He removed his hand from Haewon’s waist and stood up straight. He adjusted his jacket, which didn’t need adjusting, and turned around.

“You’re just leaving?”

He turned his head towards Haewon, who stood there in disbelief.

“You’re leaving without coming in?”

“……”

He took a deep breath, filling his lungs, and slowly exhaled. His chest expanded and contracted with the breath. He looked at Haewon as if making a very difficult decision, then finally turned around.

“Good night.”

He said.

Haewon started answering his calls. He couldn’t answer during practice, and often missed his calls because he deliberately put his phone on vibrate or turned it off to focus, but he answered when he could.

When he took a break from work to smoke or had some free time while moving somewhere, he would call Haewon. The conversations were mostly trivial. Haewon disliked holding a phone to talk to someone. Fortunately, the calls rarely lasted more than five minutes, as he was also busy.

But calls that came after one or two in the morning were different. Receiving a call just before falling asleep in bed didn’t feel as bothersome and wasn’t very annoying. His voice over the phone also played a part.

When he asked about Haewon’s day in the same serious tone he used to threaten Lee Jinyeong, Haewon would ask him who he had harassed today.

He was still working late into the night. When asked where he was, he always answered “the office,” and the faint sounds of papers shuffling, fax machines, or phone rings could be heard in the background.

“When do you get off work? Do you even get off work?”

― I do. Remember when you slept at my officetel? I got off work then.

That was quite a while ago.

“When do you change clothes? Do you sleep?”

― Why, do you want to put me to bed?

“When do you sleep?”

― Are you worried?

His workload was brutal. Haewon recalled the piles of documents on his desk, wondering if he even read them all. Hyun Woojin’s time was far more valuable than Haewon’s. He understood why he kept mentioning time and pushing him.

“I’m asking out of curiosity. It’s fascinating that people can live like that.”

― You get used to it.

The sound of papers shuffling could be heard. Haewon’s officetel was naturally quiet with soundproofing, but Hyun Woojin’s surroundings were also silent over the phone.

He imagined him sitting alone at his desk, working late into the night. Haewon found himself thinking like Taeshin. He pictured him in his mind and wondered what he was doing even when they weren’t talking. It wasn’t a good sign.

“Something you stopped doing.”

― What?

“Something you stopped doing.”

― Stopped doing what? Oh, I see. You want to ask for something?

Haewon wriggled on the bed, burrowing deeper into the sheets.

“Do you know how much my bed costs?”

― Is this a new tactic? I’d appreciate it if you were clear. Remember, the condition that it’s only in front of me is the most important.

Even now, his concise and precise voice pointed out Haewon’s ambiguous attitude as if teaching him.

Did he treat his deceased fiancée like this too?

How did he treat the late Taeshin?

Was he like this with others, not just him?

His kindness felt too cruel. His kindness easily consumed the souls of twenty-nine-year-olds. He wasn’t afraid of the carnivorous nature hidden beneath his exterior, but now he wanted to see it.

Haewon exhaled a suffocating breath. No matter how much he breathed in and out, the tightness in his chest didn’t go away.

― You’re doing all sorts of things. What are you up to?

He misunderstood Haewon’s breathing and put something down with a thud. The sound of a chair creaking as it leaned back could be heard. Haewon tilted his head in confusion and asked.

“Is there another reason?”

― What other reason?

“Using me as an excuse not to do it.”

― There’s no other reason. It’s just to make sure you never do that in front of another guy again. If you don’t listen, I’ll deal with that guy. If you listen, no one gets hurt.

“Are you… impotent? Like, are you a eunuch or something?”

― ……

Not even a breath could be heard. It felt like Hyun Woojin was staring at him with “What did you say?” written in big letters on his forehead.

― Do you even know how much I’m holding back to fix your behavior, and you say something like that… Hah. Let’s hang up.

He sounded deeply offended, as if his dignity had been damaged. His voice was lower and sounded angry.

“If not, it’s strange.”

―Didn’t you say you hated hearing things you didn’t want to hear from Taeshin over the phone? Didn’t he ever tell you how good it was to sleep with me? Doesn’t he talk about personal things like that?

Taeshin said he couldn’t describe it in words. He said it was so good, so ecstatic that he felt like he was going to die, like he was going to faint. He said it was the first time he felt that way. That he had no regrets even if he died right then. It was a crude expression, an exaggeration, and a lie. It couldn’t have been that good. He didn’t want to recall the night Taeshin spent with him.

― He cried.

“……”

He remembered Taeshin’s face, sobbing beneath him because it was so good.

― I’m good at making people cry in bed. If you want to cry, just say so, Moon Haewon.

“I don’t want to hear evaluations of other people’s sex lives.”

― Didn’t you say I was impotent?

“If not, then what is it?”

― Hah…

“Otherwise, you could prove it.”

Holding the phone, heated from the long call, Haewon was testing him with something he usually found useless and bothersome.

― If you’re playing hard to get, don’t. You shouldn’t tease adults.

“You know you’re an old man.”

― Be clear. If you’ve decided to undress only in front of me, say so. But be prepared. It won’t end with just crying.

“I won’t do it in this lifetime.”

― There’s no next life. Even if there is, the chances of our paths crossing are slim.

“……I’m sleepy.”

Even though he was drowsy, he didn’t take the phone away from his ear, and he didn’t hang up either. A glance at the time showed it had been over forty minutes. It was the first time they had talked for so long. When Haewon wasn’t busy, he was, and when he had free time to call, Haewon didn’t answer.

If even trivial phone calls were out of sync, how much more would their reincarnations be, if they existed? As he said, it was right to think there was no next life after this one. Haewon suddenly felt a pang of regret.

― Go to sleep. I’m hanging up.

“……”

Haewon didn’t respond and listened to his breathing a little longer before he hung up. It was the first time Haewon hadn’t hung up first during a call.

Something was going wrong. He knew he was buttoning the buttons wrong, but he kept buttoning them. He didn’t mind things going wrong.

Taeshin had been doing this dirty feeling thing every time. This dirty feeling.

This… feeling. It felt strange, strange but scary and unpleasant, but not entirely unpleasant or scary. He wanted to get angry and throw a tantrum, but his chest ached as if he were sick, even though he wasn’t.

Haewon stared blankly at his phone, repeatedly recalling his words.

There is no next life. Even if there is, the chances of our paths crossing in reincarnation are slim.

Haewon threw his phone onto the side table and closed his eyes, trying to sleep.

∞ ∞ ∞

A few days before the regular concert, Henry Chang arrived in Korea. The principal conductor, who was accused of embezzling funds from the Hankyung Foundation, and the principal violinist, involved in bribery for illegal admissions with a university foundation, were under investigation and detained.

The orchestra, which had been unsettled and unable to find its footing, had gradually forgotten about their existence. They invited a more skilled German conductor as a guest to replace the former conductor.

The principal position of the first violin was taken by the former associate principal, and the now vacant associate principal position was filled by the assistant principal. Thanks to the principal violinist’s detention, the unemployed Haewon also got a job. With his detention, the perpetual associate principal, the perpetual assistant principal, and the unemployed all found happiness.

Henry Chang, only twenty-two years old, was a prodigy violinist who had won first place at the Wieniawski International Violin Competition at a young age.

The symphony was in an excited mood due to the visit of this rising star. Hankyung Symphony was the first orchestra Henry Chang would collaborate with in Korea. Right before collaborating with Hankyung Symphony, Henry Chang had performed with the London Philharmonic at the Royal Festival Hall. His schedule was fully booked for the next five years.

The German guest conductor greeted Henry Chang fluently in German, and Henry Chang cheerfully greeted the orchestra. When someone took a photo of Henry Chang with their phone, everyone else pulled out their phones, and Henry Chang, with his awkward Korean, smiled shyly. He kindly took selfies with the members. Only Haewon, who had little interest in such things, sat idly by. Henry Chang didn’t seem to speak Korean well and communicated in English. He was a young man whose baby fat had not yet disappeared.

That’s what a college student is.

Haewon, who would soon be thirty, had lied to Lee Jinyeong, saying he was a college student who had run away from home. Remembering the incredulous look on Hyun Woojin’s face, he felt his own face heat up as he looked at the real twenty-two-year-old before him.

The first part of the program was the symphony’s regular performance, and the second part was a collaboration with Henry Chang, performing Beethoven’s Violin Sonata “Kreutzer” and Brahms’s Violin Concerto in D Major, Op. 77. After today’s practice, there would be a rehearsal at a large concert hall the next morning. Henry Chang seemed to have already rehearsed Beethoven’s Violin Sonata with a pianist. They began practicing Brahms’s Violin Concerto immediately.

There had been news that a wealthy anonymous person living in Europe was so impressed by Henry Chang’s performance that they gifted him a $4 million Guarneri violin. As he took out the $4 million Guarneri and placed it on his shoulder, envious gazes focused on Henry Chang. It wasn’t just any Guarneri but the 1717 Guarneri del Gesù used by Fritz Kreisler.

The former principal violinist from Hong Kong had owned a Stradivarius. As it was very expensive and a musician’s instrument is like a beloved partner they can never part with, it wasn’t something one could easily borrow or ask to touch. The Hong Kong violinist was very sensitive and didn’t lend his Strad to anyone. Still, being able to hear the sound of a Stradivarius up close was an incredible fortune for Haewon.

Of course, when the Hong Kong violinist left Hankyung Symphony and returned to Hong Kong, Haewon no longer had a reason to stay in the symphony and quit without regret.

Haewon had never handled a famous instrument like a Stradivarius or Guarneri. His own violin, a Guadagnini, was also a famous instrument and its sound was not inferior to those used by the orchestra’s principal.

Each had its advantages, and while it was hard to determine which was superior, the sound of a Guarneri was somewhat rougher and more robust compared to the flashy Stradivarius or Guadagnini. The unrefined, serious sound had honesty and depth. Though one couldn’t say which was better, if Haewon had to choose, he preferred the Guarneri.

It wasn’t necessary to play an expensive instrument to perform well. There were cases where musicians had won prestigious international competitions using domestic instruments worth about three million won. An unskilled carpenter blames his tools, but the skill and expression of the person handling the instrument are crucial. Even with just a pencil, Picasso drew Picasso’s art. However, if Picasso had 360 colored pencils, the world he could express would be limitless.

When practice ended, the concert hall, bustling with people gathered to see Henry Chang, became quiet as usual. Even small footsteps echoed loudly. Haewon, who disliked the crowds, always left the practice room last. He was gathering his music sheets and tidying up when he felt his phone vibrate. He rummaged through his bag at his feet and took out his phone.

“Hello?”

― Practice over?

“Just now.”

― When were you planning to tell me about tomorrow’s performance?

“I wasn’t planning to.”

Feeling caught off guard that he knew, Haewon responded curtly.

― Should I not go?

“Don’t come.”

― How can I not? I can’t miss such a rare sight. A performance by a violinist who doesn’t like playing in front of people.

“Come if you want, don’t if you don’t care. I’m in the corner anyway, so you won’t even see me.”

Haewon’s position was the last in the second violins, a spot so far in the back that it wasn’t even visible whether someone was there due to the lack of lighting. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Hyun Woojin to come because he didn’t want to be seen sitting in the corner. It was just an annual performance, so it didn’t feel special. Yet, now that Hyun Woojin said he’d come, Haewon’s heart raced, and he was overly conscious of his position in the back row.

I should’ve asked to move a row up.

― I’ll pick you up. Let’s have dinner.

“I’ll be there. Don’t come.”

― Then let’s have dinner tomorrow. After the performance.

“Do whatever you want.”

― It feels like your tone changes when you’re not in bed. Is it just my imagination? Should I call you when you’re in bed?

He didn’t call or visit for several days. He was too busy to date anyone, and someone like that didn’t deserve to date anyone.

“Don’t ask that. I don’t care if you come or not.”

― I have to ask because you never call. It’s like your fingers are broken and you can’t dial my number.

“How does someone with broken fingers play the violin?”

― Good point. So, you’ve never called me first with perfectly fine fingers?

“I’m busy.”

― Busy? Who? Me? Or you?

“You.”

― Don’t call me “you.” There are better words.

“Hyun Woojin.”

― How do you know whether I’m busy or not?

“Because it’s been over a week already…”

― Didn’t catch that. What’s been over a week?

“Hang up. I need to go.”

Before he could say anything, Haewon hung up. He kept calling, but Haewon didn’t answer. After about three calls, he stopped. There were no texts either. He was pouting because he couldn’t see him. Haewon grimaced at his own actions, finding them too pathetic.

He took a taxi to his officetel. Practice had ended later than usual, so he arrived home after nine in the evening.

Haewon bought a burger and fries set from a nearby burger place. He wasn’t good at cooking. Cooking rice had also become a chore, so he ate instant food or ordered delivery when hungry. Sometimes, he replaced meals with dumplings, kimbap, or burgers that were easy to eat on the way home. When he felt bad about his eating habits, he went to a fancy restaurant and ate expensive food to lift his mood. He maintained balance in his diet that way.

Still feeling the energy from practicing with Henry Chang earlier, Haewon found a CD of Brahms’s Violin Concerto with accompaniment when he arrived at his officetel. He turned on the audio system. The orchestra accompaniment flowed through the speakers placed around the living room.

Recalling the conductor’s notes he had marked in the sheet music, Haewon practiced the solo parts. While playing the last part of the first movement, he accidentally hit the music stand with his bow in his excitement. The stand fell over. Haewon stopped playing. He sighed and picked up the scattered sheet music from the floor. Absentmindedly turning his head, Haewon was startled and fell back.

“…Ah.”

He was so surprised that all he could do was let out a small gasp as he looked at Hyun Woojin. At some point, he had come in and was sitting in a chair pulled out from the dining table, in the best spot to listen to music. Without saying a word, he had chosen a place out of sight and was quietly watching Haewon as if appreciating him.

Haewon turned off the audio playing the accompaniment. The room fell silent.

“You should have answered my calls. I was going to tell you I was coming.”

“Make some noise when you come in.”

“If I did, you wouldn’t play. I like listening to your music. It’s fun to watch your focused face.”

He had wanted to finish the piece, but Hyun Woojin’s unexpected appearance had disrupted his plans.

“Is this the piece for tomorrow?”

“Henry Chang is playing it, not me.”

“Oh. It seems you liked Henry Chang’s performance.”

“He’s really good.”

Responding to his comment, Haewon packed up the sheet music and put it in his bag. Then he unwrapped the burger he had thrown on the dining table.

“I’m going to eat dinner.”

“Eat proper food, not that junk.”

“It’s not junk. It’s a Whopper.”

“It’s junk.”

Ignoring his words, Haewon opened his mouth to take a bite of the burger, but Hyun Woojin snatched it away.

“Give it back. I’m hungry.”

“Let’s go out. I’ll buy you dinner.”

“I’m hungry right now.”

“I’ll buy you dinner right now.”

He threw the burger wrapper into the trash. Haewon was about to eat the fries, but they also ended up in the trash. Haewon glared at him.

“Put on your coat.”

When Haewon stood still in protest, he brought over a coat. Haewon, who had changed into comfortable clothes and was wearing a T-shirt and pajama pants, had the coat draped over his shoulders. Reluctantly, Haewon put his arms through the sleeves and followed him out of the officetel. They got into his car parked in the garage.

“Why don’t you drive? Is it some kind of jinx? Does driving affect your performance? Does it twist your finger joints?”

“I don’t have a license.”

He chuckled.

“You look fine on the outside, but you’re useless on the inside. Get one quickly. Taking a taxi with such an instrument is exposing yourself to crime.”

“Are all taxi drivers criminals? Are you, a public official, belittling a specific profession?”

“Who said they all are?”

Hyun Woojin looked at Haewon as if asking if he had any relatives or acquaintances who were taxi drivers.

“I don’t drive.”

“Get a license quickly. Drive a car. Don’t take taxis late at night.”

“I don’t have money to buy a car. I’m saving all my salary from the orchestra.”

“I’ll buy you one.”

“……”

Surprised, Haewon turned to look at him as they left the parking lot.

“Oh, Moon Haewon doesn’t accept overly expensive gifts, only moderately expensive ones?”

“What kind of salary does a public official have?”

“I’ll use my entire salary to buy it.”

“Are you extorting chaebols? Taking bribes? Are you some kind of sponsored prosecutor?”

His lips twitched into a smile as he turned the steering wheel, still looking ahead. It seemed he was right. If so, his prey was Hankyung Group’s President Kim Jeonggeun. Haewon suddenly became curious about his relationship with President Kim Jeonggeun. It was Hyun Woojin who had called Haewon to his villa to listen to a private performance. Hyun Woojin had used that villa as if it were his own.

“Are you close with President Kim Jeonggeun?”

“Not close, but I know him personally.”

“Knowing someone personally means you’re close.”

“Then we’re close too, right? I think I know Moon Haewon personally quite well. I know what you’re up to.”

He was changing the subject. Haewon knew what had ultimately happened to Hyun Woojin’s fiancée but didn’t show it. He didn’t want to know too much about him. Knowing too much makes it hard to end a relationship. They weren’t close enough to ask overly personal and intimate questions.

The car drove through the quiet city after rush hour. They arrived at a hotel. After valet parking, they got out of the car. Although covered by a coat, Haewon was still in pajamas, which wouldn’t look out of place in bed. He didn’t want to be a spectacle in a formal restaurant. Haewon stopped following him and halted.

“I’m not going in. How can I go in like this?”

“No one cares.”

“They’ll care if they see this.”

Haewon shoved his hands deep into his coat pockets and spread his arms wide. His eyes glanced at Haewon’s pajama pants and then turned away, realizing it wasn’t appropriate.

“Then should we get a room?”

“Oh, are you undressing me first?”

When Haewon looked at him expectantly, he frowned, telling him not to get the wrong idea.

“I’ll order room service.”

“If it’s not better than a Whopper, you’re dead.”

Hyun Woojin booked a room. They got into the elevator, acting like strangers. Haewon followed him into the room. It was a decent grand room, not bad for a night’s stay.

Hyun Woojin inserted the key into the holder and immediately drew the curtains, blocking any view from outside. It seemed to be a habit rather than for any specific purpose.

“Order whatever you want to eat.”

“Just for me?”

“For both of us. I haven’t had dinner either.”

“Anything?”

“Anything you want. I need to make a call.”

Taking an extra key, Hyun Woojin stepped out. Haewon looked at the room service menu and ordered a Cobb salad, crab fried rice, lamb chops, crème brûlée, and fruit for dessert. Hyun Woojin returned before the room service arrived.

He took off his jacket, draped it over the sofa, and unbuttoned his cuffs. Rolling up his sleeves a couple of times, he washed his hands. Just then, room service arrived, and he opened the door. The ordered food was placed on the table in front of the sofa. It was the first time they sat face-to-face for a meal. Looking like he had just rushed out of the office, he sat next to Haewon and picked up a fork.

“Is this all you ordered? You should’ve ordered more.”

“This is enough for me. If it’s not enough, we can order more.”

He seemed hungry and started eating first. The plates were soon empty. After finishing his portion, he checked the dessert but didn’t eat it. Watching Haewon slowly cut the lamb, Hyun Woojin asked.

“Is that the speed of someone who’s hungry?”

“You’re just eating too fast.”

Hyun Woojin seemed to have developed a habit of eating quickly due to his busy schedule. He sipped his coffee, lounging on the sofa, watching Haewon eat leisurely. As Haewon chewed the meat, Hyun Woojin said.

“Don’t call me ‘you.’ Use another term.”

“Another term? Prosecutor? Public official?”

“Not something so formal.”

“Like what?”

“Like ‘hyung,’ or ‘hyung,’ or if you don’t like that, just ‘hyung.’”

He offered the same choice three times.

How close had Taeshin gotten with him?

He probably never called him ‘hyung.’ He always referred to him as ‘that person.’ They likely called each other by their names.

It was a trivial matter. There was no reason not to do it. Even Lee Jinyeong called him ‘hyung.’ Haewon tried to say ‘hyung’ but stopped. Suddenly, he felt uncomfortable.

“Yes, sir.”

He burst into laughter for a moment. A low, deep sound like the pleasing tone of a Guarneri. Hyun Woojin was softer, more cheerful, and kinder than Haewon had thought. Though busy, he did have a gentle and affectionate side, as he claimed. He wasn’t just sharp and intimidating, though that was part of him. He was someone anyone would desire and like. He wasn’t frivolous and had a certain weight that made him hard to dismiss, and he was good at making threats efficiently.

“Isn’t it funny?”

His laughter soon faded into seriousness. Haewon ignored him and continued eating.

As he stood up to clear the table, Hyun Woojin grabbed his wrist and sat him back down. He placed Haewon’s hand on his thigh, examining it as if appraising a rare item, and muttered softly.

“Ordinary and nothing special.”

It didn’t seem to be about his own hand. Holding Haewon’s wrist, he looked up. Their eyes met.

“Undress first, sir. I don’t mind.”

“That’s the problem. You don’t mind.”

“If possible, not tonight. I have a performance tomorrow and need to sleep early.”

“Sleep here. I’ll take you in the morning.”

“With you? In bed? Doing nothing?”

“Doing nothing is a bit much. We can kiss lightly. If you want more, just say so. I’m always prepared.”

He took Haewon’s hand and helped him up. If one paid attention, it was clear that Hyun Woojin had a remarkable fixation on Haewon’s hands. These days, if Haewon didn’t wear gloves, he would be the first to ask why.

After quickly washing his face and brushing his teeth, Haewon stepped out of the bathroom. Hyun Woojin was already lying on the bed, his hands clasped behind his head.

Glancing at Haewon, he shifted onto his side and patted the spot next to him. Who would end up pleading first remained to be seen. There was no reason to refuse, and Haewon had long been adept in this area, even excelling at such things since his teenage years.

Without hesitation, Haewon lay down beside him. Woojin dimmed the lights. Though the brightness lessened, it wasn’t dark enough to obscure their view of each other. Even in the muted shadows, his face stood out sharply. Pulling his pillow down for comfort, Haewon rested his head and turned to look at Woojin, who lay on his side facing him.

There’s no next life, he had said. If reincarnation happens, their paths would miss each other.

This life would be the last…

Hyun Woojin had spoken lightly, oblivious to the weight of the confession. Just another excuse to get his clothes off.

When Haewon continued to simply gaze at him, Woojin spoke in a low voice.

“Pretending to be a college student makes me feel younger.”

“Like you’re regaining your youth?”

“Not quite that far, but this feeling is something I haven’t had in a long time.”

“We’re just kissing, right? Nothing more?”

“If you want more, just say so. Moon Haewon has suddenly developed principles, has he?”

“You’ll need to try harder, old man. I don’t feel that way at all.”

He frowned, displeased. His hand reached for Haewon’s cheek. Haewon raised his own hand to touch Woojin’s cheek in return. Woojin, who was particularly sensitive to Haewon’s touch, reacted sharply to the hand caressing his face. It seemed Haewon’s hands stirred him in a unique way.

As Haewon gently stroked his face, Woojin clasped the back of Haewon’s hand and brought it to his lips. His wet lips pressed softly against Haewon’s palm. Holding the hand firmly, Woojin kissed it with an almost reverent care, as if handling something sacred. Haewon’s heart began to race.

Haewon found it unbelievable that he was now doing this so casually, enjoying himself with the man Taeshin had once loved unrequitedly. And yet, he didn’t hate it. It wasn’t as though he had decided to only undress before Woojin—he was merely being stubborn—but he didn’t dislike him.

The motion of Woojin’s forearm revealed well-defined muscles flexing beneath his rolled-up sleeves. His white shirt clung tightly to his body, highlighting his prominent frame with each movement, making him irresistibly appealing. It almost felt as though he was deliberately showing off his charm. Haewon found himself wanting to keep looking at him.

Kissing Haewon’s palm, Woojin closed his eyes and brought his lips to Haewon’s fingers. While one hand rested in Woojin’s, Haewon stretched out the other to trace the contours of his face, brushing over his sharp, artistic eyes. Woojin’s dense eyelashes cast shadows under Haewon’s fingertips. Haewon’s heartbeat grew faster and stronger.

Woojin took one of Haewon’s fingers into his mouth and sucked on it. He seemed ready to suck and lick every finger in turn. His middle finger slid into the warmth of Woojin’s mouth, rubbing against the moist inner lining. When Woojin’s throat constricted as he sucked, a faint pain, as if blood were rushing, tingled through Haewon’s hand.

“…Ah.”

When Haewon whimpered softly in pain, Woojin, who had been focused on kissing and sucking his fingers, interlocked their hands, wet with his saliva. He clasped Haewon’s hand tightly and pressed it down against the bed. Using his arm as support, Woojin leaned over him. Haewon gazed up at him with a dangerous glint in his eyes, caught off guard by Woojin’s bold and reckless seduction.

“If you ever want more, don’t hesitate to tell me.”

“Yes, sir. But if you want something, don’t bother asking. Just do whatever you want. I’m an easy mark, after all.”

With a charming smile, Woojin lowered his head. Anticipating his approaching lips, Haewon tilted his chin upward, as if competing to see who would act first. Their lips met, and they slowly teased each other, igniting a fire between them.

Haewon slid his tongue along Woojin’s lips, pushing it into his mouth. Woojin’s thick tongue brushed against his, leaving both their mouths wet and their minds clouded with heat. The sensations between them were nearly impossible to endure for men of their age and vitality.

Both Woojin and Haewon were already aroused. Glancing down mid-kiss, Haewon noticed the unmistakable silhouette beneath Woojin’s dark suit pants, pressed against his thigh. Clearly, he wasn’t impotent.

Haewon subtly raised his knee, brushing against the inside of Woojin’s left thigh as if by accident. Woojin’s tongue, which had been exploring Haewon’s mouth roughly, paused momentarily.

Woojin then firmly pinned Haewon’s mischievous knee down against the bed. Haewon raised it again, this time pressing against the outline in Woojin’s pants with his knee as he sucked on his lower lip.

Woojin let out a low chuckle. His lips curved into a smile. When Haewon brushed against him once more, Woojin pressed his leg down firmly over Haewon’s to hold it in place. Their bodies grazed together, and the touch sent both of them momentarily stiff. Their lips parted slightly as Woojin looked down at Haewon’s flushed face, and Haewon stared back at him, his cheeks burning red.

“…Haa.”

Now, the question was who had the stronger willpower. Haewon hadn’t been able to do it for quite a while because Hyun Woojin had cleaned up around him without him even asking. Masturbation wasn’t enough. Haewon had always satisfied his sexual desires by having someone penetrate and thrust into him, and he was used to such acts. So, he had been deprived for quite a while.

In fact, he had gotten aroused when Hyun Woojin kissed him in front of his house and sent him away, and even when he received a phone call in bed, he secretly touched himself without Hyun Woojin knowing.

“The phone call…, ah, the phone call.”

Haewon clung to his neck, rubbing his heated skin against his lips, and whispered.

“What? What about the phone call?”

He asked, panting. When he pressed down with his knee to keep him from touching, Haewon started moving his hips, trying to rub against him. He pretended not to notice and pushed him away.