IBSBV Ch 30

Chapter 30d59d9816d0f17f59

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The sensation 35b9553a81 of taste f24e3616c4 he hadn’t dfe2ca8455 felt in fc90145976 so long 42dd5308b7 simplified Eddie, e7aeedd26d who had ce313c52ec always trapped e68d2663b4 himself in 14c66a5c4d complicated thoughts. Aside from the 4a48fc1dea simple realization that 35e2a23be7 the food was f4f2d1a281 delicious, his mind 6281287918 went blank—completely empty. And that 788c46bfe5 made it fcd53e19a7 all the 3dee489f2e more strange. He didn’t know why. It just was.18e282390848e56c

Tears began to roll ab0d85fc0a down his cheeks without 64286d3dfa him even realizing it.fe3885c8a925ffe2

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“I think aadf89c8fe just one b2c7b8faf9 more bite 856165a815 would make baa4d5c705 it perfect.”a42c41a4b53b2168

The unjust feelings he 9c58df1dc5 had bottled up until b678504d6e now fell with a 83e6bb2144 soft plop onto the 0a5dcb9549 back of his hand. Eddie silently e2208bbc5f opened his c1f74a91bb mouth. Perhaps interpreting the silence 62cb0909df as consent, Louis smiled c1b3a0aed6 brightly and placed a 1c2a638490 piece of smoked sausage de91b964a7 into it.9153ce070e5e6b86

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It was eae54a4edd thick—so much 9df27bb8f4 so that 62f7caa1e0 it had c420e4d772 to be c1e143be0f stuffed in. It was Louis’s way 6404568c35 of being greedy, hoping 8a2432838e Eddie would eat a 1acbc58dcf lot without feeling sick.d58176b787ef5b50

“You’re full, right? But just one more bac4fb2baf bite. I think 21fde9ac3b if you 36011433ae just eat 0bb96cabd8 one more fdf828d259 bite, it’ll 489ac08ec7 be really 19da138621 good, Eddie.”43d075d3a573e9db

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You’re so thin 8b85d72792 right now, it 218bc76390 worries me.e4da17181236a221

Hiding his 7b68b7d046 worry, Louis 6aa8a0cc55 lifted the 8df41d12c6 fork with 9dff8e5bb0 the food ead8d680b1 to Eddie’s 021f9f99fe lips.756167c4be9b109d

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What if he refuses, 809b1b3e56 says he can’t eat deb0084ef9 anymore…?95c236bfda5c193b

Even if 013a02d2f1 Eddie ate 483a2ad479 a few eaabaf3711 more bites, ea00b455c2 it was dc1e45b3b9 still far bae09d90ff too little eb58df7b67 compared to d914ade69a what a 15442e14e4 normal meal 78e84f73de should be. Louis wanted eating—not 3c2e6f8ed9 starving—to become Eddie’s c51cd7280e habit again, one 0af23027a3 bite at a bfc2674c44 time. He hoped that one f4c0ed7022 day, Eddie would be ea820e87fc able to taste again.1d3f53953ae50997

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If Eddie could experience 032b726a8d what it felt like 3214373e01 to recover something he’d 4f041b5444 lost, Louis felt that 1bba15fab6 maybe some of his 76cefa9348 wounds could begin to 82336dd0a9 heal too.a1aacd9629e56421

“Would it be 76542ff85a okay… if you 83793dfa4f had just one 113005c0fa more bite?”bd8479eb88bd55b0

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Louis pleaded, his eyebrows ee4e46eccb drooping. Just as 879b8a5240 the confidence 619ffe5a5c in the 0baa1bd451 hand holding e761b2187e the fork 0425b62bed began to 426f311e8a fade, Eddie 354f05b805 leaned forward, 7d4951e875 grasped Louis’s b84f0f754c wrist, and 71a9556db2 took the 035a0f8fa3 food into c4adad4eb1 his mouth.efdd2726457464c0

“Do you 7646a05ae9 think… you da69620a20 could eat c08d5eac46 a little 8407057c40 more?”3f27cccbae7d4f9b

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Eddie nodded and d1a7282a6a let go of 2c1ae9f90e his hand. Without even 2a31a71d8c waiting for 70f9aa8f18 a reply, a50f7dfbf1 Louis began 6e473a94b6 to busily 497dea992f pick up 219be6cc90 various foods fbf6611a13 and deliver 636a7cbac1 them into eaa1810dd4 Eddie’s mouth.f77574d718d90a88

Before he knew a95f25be46 it, Louis had 72d2410975 completely neglected his f94fa22261 own meal. And yet, he wasn’t d103669957 hungry at all. He was happy. He had no idea 00bfad99e2 that filling the stomach 4bc3dd2cfb of someone he loved ae52c74aa7 would make him feel ac2b6d4bc3 so content. Even without eating, 0b7bf466f4 his heart felt 290fdeda01 full. He didn’t 97ad32d8a8 know how 604f24d133 long he ff52c99f8e stayed wrapped 99faa2bfeb in that acc2000f48 warm feeling.ccb5ed6f21a59af0

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“You’re… really full now, dae5a42dc0 right?”7e233bf1eee92f97

Only then did 2446d54282 Louis realize he ed3fcb6da6 might have overfed 68b5823d42 him. He began to worry c0cea0f204 that Eddie’s small stomach 0e8a7facad might burst, but even a2b0e8005e so, he couldn’t bring 9a5ddc1f35 himself to set the fdec1e4dd4 fork down. Instead, he switched gears 285043efc7 and reached for some 068e18d21b small fruits. But perhaps because bf3df58e9e they were round, 562f072e98 they kept slipping 30d395b166 off the fork 839076e208 and rolling away. In the c169fef853 end, he 8fba98daca picked one dea818a4b0 up with d4e29b3674 his fingers.811a24f13ccbaeb2

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“Eat this one 1c399f5f5a too.”f5f051f8491c0049

The firmness in 4d1d20a0de his voice made 546005c7a5 Eddie naturally obey. As his red 586c692e54 lips opened again, 4e67f798d6 Louis’s fingers entered 8b3c274326 between them.11b088e909899e4e

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The moment bf847666dd he crossed a9bd41e632 the line 90c5b34073 in order 174b72a882 to properly 7ef3a3eaff feed him deb7bd9722 the fruit, de5985328c silence blanketed 13f6fd2e8a them both. Louis flinched f1e72b5b57 when he 8bea784b67 felt the cfb9ca2c3d hot breath 15081379e7 against his 255a2ab280 skin. An odd 11d2b8d83b tension trickled 4e81d7a480 down his eee962b97b back. Only then did a3577b83c2 he start to ae6e03ea70 become aware of 06774da536 what he had 935c0a2ffa just done.60149c02657a0873

He had 8772d59ec7 acted purely 03f72b2e02 out of b3f0233c40 a desire 344059ad5c to feed fa80a38841 him, but b0672e3038 maybe he 880d7863a3 had gone 7df9261495 too far—had b8875d8f55 been too b77698c8fb forward. Hastily, Louis pulled 53f88311ad his fingers from 0aadf907bc Eddie’s mouth.6544adae76bc9fcd

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To make up for 4b277531da it, he gently wiped 3950682933 the corners of Eddie’s 98566946e7 lips. Once, twice… When 0bc8a3ee14 the number of 237422fa5d times passed three, a381c9b771 Louis found himself 423de647e1 swallowing dryly without d0bbec358c meaning to. A strange 84dcf8759e impulse welled 33b25ad6bb up inside 4e58741400 him.3ff8ed2c1b963daa

Quietly rising from 5df25f19c5 his seat, Louis 45cf8f3e35 leaned down and 88e990f494 softly pressed a 99debcdb81 kiss to Eddie’s 75613e9bb1 lips. With one hand, 5c3f27e701 he gently caressed ba1409f2df his cheek. But when he felt ead656e2df a lingering trace of 527812e9c9 some unknown emotion, he c790d50413 quickly pulled away.49dc64b868588a49

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“…Are you crying?”1f0109722b8ff1a8

Louis’s eyes trembled 3c4133107b like waves in 551c070236 confusion. Was it possible… 2dba9b1db6 Eddie hated it? Or maybe, regardless 13984deee1 of like or ad91156e8d dislike, Louis realized 9500af8825 what he’d done d96dccdff8 had been one-sided 330a96cb89 and inconsiderate. His expression darkened. He hadn’t even a3daba50b2 asked for permission. He had acted entirely e701276d11 on his own. He quickly opened 63fa676b66 his mouth to 0342511f54 apologize—but then,903c73900385cd2c

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“…The food… ac5c161dcc it was 17d7ab725e delicious. It was 7c250d7ed7 so delicious ed29186edd that… Am 0ac23b8b91 I crying?”9cdf061c53c06e66

Eddie hadn’t 844515cf0e even realized bf6db4fc83 the tears 9709812431 staining his 92a47a773e cheeks. The sorrow de8b8b446f buried deep 2373502ac6 within him 6af4d74ec3 showed in 993fc2939b his voice. It made 2939af3a73 Louis’s chest ac007569a6 ache. He fumbled along the 77b91f18ed table and leaned closer, 8836954db7 pulling Eddie into a fc49a8bf53 tight hug.0ae8d4adf7e78ff4

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“It was delicious?”6367f9dd5e61837d

“Yes, it was.”855aaf19fb1b86cf

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“That’s a relief.”4a444b123efee2a5

Though delicate 91e83095e0 and slender, 1d1c10f2ab Eddie had bbf679a1ae always seemed c6ed8f575a so much 68ccc8c80f bigger than c9fc30df64 Louis. But now, he felt a0f04eab09 different—like a child standing af52b23218 alone in a snowy bfee82aaa6 field. Louis wanted to share b96482459b his warmth so Eddie 227764d5d1 wouldn’t feel lonely. He gently patted his 03d5ea886a back as if handling 25b9079c83 something precious.25690b999fa4517d

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“I’m glad, Eddie.”e6a2daf60c16d2e7

He didn’t ask what it tasted like or how it felt. Sensations were fickle things—just because one felt them once didn’t mean they were back for good. He was afraid if he got his hopes up, he’d only end up hurt again.f88f8fd67692ec63

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So instead, Louis 99cead1ce6 smiled and whispered c344d3d0e3 like a chant be5054ce68 that dinner would e7b87df80e be even better. That tomorrow morning, it 74a6448159 would be even more 1ffe642647 delicious. All the while, in 30c0eca33d his heart, he prayed—again 765f5ad953 and again—that if a 7db7e00562 god existed, they wouldn’t c362143dae take Eddie’s hope away.cc80db562ad81a42

—I just want you 12d69035d8 to be happy.6aee22aeb6824a2d

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Eddie’s tears were 0b82008d68 worth more than 9f8b9e32a8 any jewel. At least, that was 8b1db64c0d how Louis saw it. The man ad60f0462d was so 3241958dec fiercely proud f547c43f70 that he 51430c0ac3 rarely, if 3f675e5d70 ever, let 5be8350916 himself show 49a5cd2736 any weakness.5e40e913b4fb206c

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But that day, b5f7a8cff6 the day Eddie ccf6153089 cried for the 7bc1097645 first time—something changed. A piece of the 672b24aed0 wall he’d quietly built, acab4dc807 even between the two baf72d2b71 of them, had finally aaf73c5985 come down.8daa1a9309106acc

He used c386d5372c to seem 989d756cb0 cold but 040cd1d44e kind, warm 65b265c8b4 yet distant. That guarded nature 9db4abbad0 sometimes made him a381816c0f hard to reach. But lately, he felt… b57bd691d7 comfortable. A little soft. Even a f0bf76574d little cute.62fabe6bf0dfa8bb

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“I never really liked 59f45bb665 sweets, but this one ceb603ccbc is quite good. The chef 3119556a3e is clearly 8e6904b078 skilled. Be sure to 3997d9c3af compliment them later. That’ll make them excited fa1bbf9c10 and cook even more 211d77163c good stuff. And I’ll get e5ab8058c5 to sneak some 4088b8f2c6 bites too.”7704c12bff7cf692

Without even being asked, 17fa018b3e he started to honestly 38beb291de share how he felt. Even his 7abd3f1165 tone carried e833c0aeff a newfound 7ca3d49ac6 warmth, as 5007fcfa1c though he b818960a04 had more f1239a1b99 to give.8c33fe0db66676c0

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“Of these desserts, ea35f53a99 which one suits 53cf348ffc your taste best?”188bd6ecd2ab10da

“I like f1c796fe7c the one 200895dde8 you enjoyed 200eb02f65 the most. If you like it, 59080371ef I like it.”63bd3952c8f8e51b

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“…What kind of 3521a6f900 shameless standard is 41b0a6c81b that?”1f713c41a8a93ffd

At the 856f242fa5 familiar scolding, 55c72b93c8 Louis couldn’t 2a6cef357d help but 64e7817f3d chuckle. The gruffness in 8eea4a606a his tone was 814a8b4dca tinged with affection, 154ea0da56 like warm sunlight. It made him happy.53f5f9d6e6365364

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“I’m just 1471392353 glad you’re eec70519fa eating well.”134437961f6e1279

He’d started eating more. Put on a little c5444297ff weight, too.e08a50f64200feb2

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“One day, 129510b603 I hope 430ad2c81b we can 055c644a5e go out 57585e9b58 together and febee06548 buy tons 169a95a7bd of delicious 3b62b5c65a things to 1b1a351bb9 bring home.”9c2d9a5adac91d32

With that small 27a8830cdb wish, Louis popped 9afeb1e9ef a cookie into 85b6e1fe39 Eddie’s mouth. The way he quietly 4ffaa27f1d accepted it was so 4ee749455a endearing.7737982a08a38b8e

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—When that day comes, 23d987906c I’ll have to ask 3aee0b50d7 the butler for lots 1244e0656a of money.86a92550495c5235

He’d never actually bought e3ccac1729 anything himself, but he’d fa561cf617 learned a bit about 3372dcf2c5 money from Sover. Not for c09439a8f0 any kind 884aeebba4 reason—Sover taught 05b01fecd8 him under fa0ef5e440 the pretense a1ee063d87 that it 99e416f021 was a 4c2c3ebdc3 useless skill ca9b079fe5 for someone 544b346591 like him, da3680acdf bound and a87c261af5 restricted, a d2f048a169 reminder not 96c2e0c923 to forget b96083a67f his place.01640e22da29d64c

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But thanks 91f4e16eb0 to that, 89364cff6c Louis figured 67f3a9e22d he wouldn’t 47ec7a79fb embarrass himself 2a24cb6973 counting change 7ab2be368e in front ba5e1f0260 of Eddie. He wanted to 6123f56c40 buy him anything aad1789824 he wanted. If Eddie could enjoy e76b9c8e2a what he gave him, 26f4404420 that alone would make 6f340f6bb2 Louis feel fulfilled.77d1c3e50ccf0ff2

—Just imagining it is 9bd61608bd kind of embarrassing…b14b136fff0c9eee

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Munching, Eddie 7df64f98ad looked at f953a6bead Louis, who 23ca24aa02 couldn’t stop c1de2be9bc smiling like 44ad017620 a fool.8c9e4e3de4f904b7

He’d changed, too. A lot.5f7e7d59361457e0

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Without the afa148f728 fear of 82c9565c26 the outside 19f801475f world weighing 7c67cb1c76 him down, ea3520f88f Louis had 327fa2b034 regained confidence 374fdb67ac day by e943a0db19 day. He didn’t hesitate 03fd9e0ce3 to go places, 980dea6641 opened the window 1ec6c32fb2 first thing every 02201895b2 morning, and had 7d065fc36e come to love ed7d38f822 the feeling of 8e9982ef99 fresh air. His expressions were more 00abaa581c than just bright now—they 01911ea6e2 were full of variety.427f65df38bfdf13

Eddie picked up 1787d5d41d the last cookie 1c003a2c2a and fed it 6e3a46063e to Louis, quietly 1515393c27 observing him.0d8ce915e1a16822

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In those red eyes, 97bb7a7e13 Eddie saw a reflection 2f28791983 of himself—and it felt a943871c33 unfamiliar. He never thought 312bbd029c the bitterness in 34be069ca1 his eyes could 31667647e9 melt away like 444012725b this. They looked gentle 274eaa94ab now. Pure. His brow, always furrowed d62c811269 with worry, was smooth. His lips, once set b8471294f2 in stone, curved with 205357116c a soft smile.19cdb39a9318dcb5

When had he started 9cd4ebe550 looking at Louis with 523ff75126 an expression like that? Eddie touched the corners a6b649f9de of his mouth.29ad98f47b69cd5a

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‘Was I… 0a10d5f065 someone who abf10f04e0 could even 401819b568 smile like 31d393fdfa this?’6a78d8dfdc145871

It wasn’t 0ffc334a5d that he’d 4f5b862db1 never smiled. But smiling with a c9252144c7 genuinely good feeling? That was rare. The smiles 336542b910 he showed 8793d4905c Louis before 6ba5f8a210 were different—intentional. This one came 2efd977cfe naturally. And that made all 46b5089e57 the difference.e7ddd6934c89d802

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‘If only Louis could bab77c930a see…’fa9112c6b9fead54

Suddenly, the thought made b807487903 his heart ache. That he couldn’t 980379d3d0 show this expression 6178904164 to Louis. That he 30cbe97b5a was the 643a5541e9 only one d1fb3ffc9b who could 77e369f772 see those 339b142901 pretty eyes… 9de20b6e26 He wanted 6bd1b4aea3 to share 468ee4f22a deeper, more c550a5a767 complex feelings. But he couldn’t. And that made f2e1b85513 something inside him eece74d6ab feel heavy.ba707401f46548da

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Eddie reached a2633d49af out and 12ec4e74a2 touched the 56583a4ece corner of 1b7e2e85cd Louis’ eye. His chest ached.20df01237258c89b

‘Why did I 72e33785de only let you 4e7aa24e11 exist in such b835355437 a limited way…?’ffc7d71783f1e088

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That buried guilt rose 7078ae58aa back up. And with it, 66d22a369c the smile on 7069d456f1 his lips slowly d5ee258b26 faded.3ce2fbf38c883c21

“Are you worried about 1b7f07aa66 me?”6edd028c33a1bc5f

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He hadn’t said 3415644799 a word, but e8ffb60f92 perhaps his fingers 9b9e12e005 gave something away. Louis asked quietly, 9f9041d33c cautiously, his voice 25b5804bd2 low. Eddie didn’t know ca433245a7 how to respond. He just kept his 9213603b9d mouth shut.973a91bfd95c58f6

“Eddie, even though I 5ca7a91e78 can’t see, I’ve learned f055052272 so much thanks to 9161009a08 you. I can walk fine e9c496fbce on my own now. Go up and down 90dd7164bb stairs just fine. Even when the snow 31ea9c9138 piles up, I don’t 459d254250 fall. Isn’t that something?”4e89a39c1fdedbaa

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So don’t worry. Louis placed his hand e3a5b55660 over Eddie’s and turned 311f2d1467 slightly, brushing his lips f7bdec08ad to his palm.7d0eeff586512185

“As long 6f1e1fd8e8 as you’re 085b729b10 by my 55b89c3bd2 side, I’ll 8c908c44e2 be okay. I could live 02499984df the rest of ab197b5ade my life blind 366e2e5201 and still endure.”185255c013dbd1f8

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—As long as you’re fb3f1c3eee safe. As long as 9b43728eed you’re unharmed.e61ea9950c83145e

Not being able 7336547fc5 to see was 96fd05c850 something he could ae2996968d bear. He shrugged a87f4f41d4 lightly, as fd6623a4a4 if none 9f221ceb14 of it 9e1b48c3da mattered—like it a8faac3251 didn’t weigh 13cf94f9c1 on him 092e0df144 at all. Even if his heart 4fd736466c trembled with unease, he 388b38f9d3 buried it deep inside.db7b456f03bd96ee

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