HTTRPIAO Ch 60-64

That’s a person or a doll?

Rishar blankly stared at the boy who was nodding off with a book in his hand. In his five years of life, which could be considered long or short, he had never seen such a beautiful boy.

“Mmm.”

“…!”

Rishar, who had been staring at the boy with a dazed expression, was startled and hid behind the bushes when the boy stirred.

The boy frowned as if uncomfortable, then leaned back comfortably on the bench. Thud, the book slipped from his small hand and fell to the ground.

Gulp.

Rishar swallowed dryly as he observed the sleeping boy. The soft golden hair, skin as white as snow, long fluttering eyelashes, cherry red petite lips… The boy was beautiful without a single flaw.

So pretty.

Rishar was completely captivated by the sleeping boy. He couldn’t take his eyes off him, as if they were nailed in place.

Seeing the boy with his eyes closed among the beautiful flowers reminded him of a fairy tale book called <The Sleeping Omega in the Forest> that his nanny had once read to him.

I want to see his eyes open.

Rishar felt an inexplicable anxiety as he stroked his neck. His throat had been strangely dry for a while. At the same time, he felt an urge to get closer to the boy.

Rishar slowly moved his feet, giving in to the sudden impulse that had risen. At that moment, a gentle breeze blew.

Whoosh…

The leaves rustled gently, and the golden hair that seemed to hold sunlight swayed lightly. Then the scent he had caught earlier tickled his nose.

“Ah.”

It’s that child. That boy is…

Rishar let out a small exclamation as he realized who the scent belonged to. Badump Badump, his heart beat with excitement.

Found him.

A bright smile spread across Rishar’s face. The child moved forward with a slightly flushed face. The closer he got to the boy, the more an inexplicable elation rose. Just as the distance was gradually closing, an anxious voice was heard.

“Rishar!”

“…Mother?”

Rishar stopped his approach toward the boy at the sound of Meriel calling for him. His heart sank at the cry mixed with tears.

“Where are you! Answer me! Rishar!”

What should I do? Rishar wavered, looking back and forth between the direction of Meriel’s voice and where the boy was.

After a moment’s hesitation, Rishar ran toward the direction of Meriel’s voice, as if he had no choice.

“Mother! I’m here!”

“Rishar!”

When Rishar appeared calling out to him, Meriel immediately pulled the child into his arms. Along with deep relief, anger rose.

“Didn’t I tell you not to wander around on your own! Do you know how scared I was?”

“I’m sorry.”

Rishar apologized with a gloomy face at Meriel’s scolding. Meriel kissed the top of his son’s head while calming his startled heart. Then he let out a sigh of relief.

“At least I found you. Let’s go back.”

“Yes… ah, wait, wait a moment.”

“Hm? What is it?”

At the suggestion to return, Rishar took Meriel’s hand and led him. He thought he might know who the boy was.

“There, over there.”

Rishar, who had led Meriel near where he had been earlier, stood on his tiptoes and pointed to the flower garden beyond the bushes.

“Who is that Omega?”

“Omega? Who? Ah.”

Meriel, who had turned his gaze in the direction Rishar was pointing, widened his eyes when he spotted the boy sleeping on the bench. He recognized him at a glance.

“That’s His Highness the Prince.”

“The Prince?”

“Yes, Etienne de Frederick. The son of His Majesty the Emperor and Her Majesty the Empress.”

“Etienne de Frederick…”

Etienne, Etienne de Frederick. Rishar repeatedly murmured the name of the boy that Meriel had told him. His dark blue eyes sparkled brightly.

“But why is he alone in such a place?”

Meriel was puzzled. Even though it was the imperial palace, he was concerned about the young prince being alone without any attendants or guards.

As Meriel was considering whether to inform the head servant about the Prince being alone, just then, a servant appeared behind the boy. Judging by the attire, they seemed to belong to the Empress’s palace.

“Thankfully someone has come.”

Meriel quietly expressed relief as he watched the servant approach the boy.

“Let’s head back now.”

“Ah, wait…”

At Meriel’s suggestion to return, Rishar pulled his hand toward himself and resisted. His gaze was still fixed on the boy.

“Come now, you’ll be scolded by Her Majesty the Empress if she knows you came this far.”

Meriel tried to soothe Rishar while finding his interest in the Prince curious. This place seemed to be near the Empress’s palace.

The Empress, being from the House Herace which led the noble faction, disliked the House Eckhart, which represented the imperial faction.

Meriel judged it better to return before being spotted by the Empress’s people and giving them any excuse for criticism. However, Rishar showed rare stubbornness.

“Just a moment.”

Will he wake up? I want to see his eyes open. Rishar watched with a tense face as the servant tried to wake the boy. Though he looked pretty with his eyes closed, Rishar thought he would look even prettier with his eyes open and really wanted to see them.

Sadly, Rishar’s modest wish didn’t come true. The boy seemed to be in a deeper sleep than expected, as he didn’t wake up despite the servant’s attempts.

Finally, the servant who gave up on waking the boy picked up his small body in their arms. Rishar, who had been watching while holding his breath, let out a small sigh.

“Why won’t he wake up…”

“Are you satisfied now?”

Meriel patted Rishar’s back while trying to suppress his laughter at his visibly disappointed appearance.

“Did you want to greet His Highness the Prince?”

“…Yes.”

Rishar answered with a gloomy face to Meriel’s question. Then he added in a voice filled with regret.

“I’ve never seen such a pretty Omega before. His pheromones are also the best I’ve ever smelled.”

“Uhm… Rishar. His Highness is not an Omega.”

“What?”

Rishar’s head shot up at Meriel’s words. He opened his mouth as if he couldn’t believe what he had heard. Meriel corrected his son’s misunderstanding once again.

“His Highness is a Beta.”

“That’s a lie! That’s impossible!”

“Why impossible? Everyone knows that His Highness is a Beta. Now, let’s really go back.”

“But I smelled a scent!”

“What?”

“It was such a nice scent…! It was definitely an Omega’s scent!”

Meriel let out a small laugh as he watched Rishar claiming he had smelled the Prince’s scent with the most wronged expression in the world.

So that’s why he showed so much interest, because he thought he was an Omega? Meriel gently stroked Rishar’s head as he stamped his feet, denying reality.

“Rishar, what you smelled was probably Her Majesty the Empress’s pheromones.”

“…Her Majesty the Empress?”

“Yes. His Highness lives with Her Majesty the Empress. So he probably carries her scent. Just like how you carry my scent, Rishar.”

“That’s not it…”

Rishar remained unconvinced despite Meriel’s explanation. Meriel didn’t know whether to laugh at how cute Rishar looked with his world-has-ended expression or worry about the future, considering that the first person he showed such strong interest in happened to be the Prince.

“Anyway, this isn’t the time for that. Let’s go. Everyone was worried about you. Go apologize to His Majesty the Emperor for your mistake. Apologize to the chamberlain too.”

“Yes…”

Rishar answered in a dispirited voice. As he was led away by Meriel’s hand, he kept glancing back. In the distance, he could see the boy being carried in the servant’s arms.

Rishar watched the swaying golden hair with eyes full of lingering attachment. After looking back several times until the boy was out of sight, Rishar muttered to himself like a sigh.

“…What a shame.”

If only he had been an Omega.

“…Ah, Your Highness.”

As a careful voice reached his ears, his sunken consciousness rose to the surface. Rishar slowly lifted his eyelids. When he opened his eyes, he saw Elvin’s face.

“I apologize. We’ve arrived at the residence…”

Elvin scratched his neck awkwardly. Rishar silently pressed his tired eyes without saying anything. It seemed he had fallen asleep when he meant to just close his eyes for a moment.

“Did I sleep long?”

“No, not long at all. It seems you had a good dream.”

Elvin spoke while observing Rishar’s expression. His face, which had been stiff right after getting into the carriage, had somehow relaxed.

“A good dream, yes. I dreamed of something I miss.”

Rishar, who answered honestly, turned his gaze to the window. Seeing the moon shining quietly alone in the dark night naturally reminded him of Etienne. And his scent, which had been as delicate as a flower blooming under the moonlight.

So what I felt back then really was Etienne’s scent. Rishar let out a small laugh after remembering. Perhaps because he had dreamed about it, the memory of first meeting Etienne felt as vivid as if it had happened just yesterday.

“Welcome home, my lord.”

“Where’s hyung-nim?”

As Rishar got out of the carriage, Albert, who had come out to greet him, bowed deeply. Rishar asked lightly as he passed by him.

“He’s in his bedroom.”

“Did everything go well?”

“Yes, sir. Around lunchtime, His Highness the Prince’s main attendant and doctor briefly visited. And the doctor asked Brienne about Your Highness’s rut cycle and suppressant use.”

“They asked Brienne?”

Rishar’s eyes narrowed at Albert’s report. Brienne was the House Eckhart’s doctor. Rishar could easily guess why Etienne’s doctor had asked about that.

“Should I have told him that I didn’t knot?”

Rishar muttered to himself as he climbed the stairs. Etienne was blaming himself for this incident. Even while saying he didn’t regret it, whenever he looked at Rishar, he would unconsciously make an expression full of guilt.

That’s why Rishar deliberately didn’t mention what happened during the heat cycle. He didn’t want to give him more stress when his health was already poor.

It was for the same reason that he hadn’t brought up the possibility of knotting or pregnancy. He was planning to have that conversation when Etienne was more stable.

In his own way, it was meant to be considerate of Etienne, but it seems that actually made him more anxious. Thinking about it that way made Rishar feel somewhat regretful.

“What a difficult situation.”

Rishar slightly furrowed his brow and clicked his tongue. While Etienne had never been easy to deal with, this time was particularly difficult.

“I’ll call hyung-nim’s personal doctor separately soon. Without others knowing.”

“Yes, my lord.”

“…Is hyung-nim sleeping?”

“After finishing dinner, he said he felt a bit stuffy, so we moved him to the balcony. I also brought him several books to read.”

“Well done. And dinner? Did he eat well?”

“Though we served various dishes, he only had corn soup, tomato caprese, and grilled banana with butter.”

“That’s all?”

Rishar’s eyes hardened at Albert’s words. Although it seemed like he ate more compared to yesterday when he barely had soup, it still wasn’t enough. Albert bowed his head apologetically at Rishar’s reaction.

“He said he had no appetite… For dessert, we served custard pudding and peppermint tea.”

“He needs to eat better.”

Rishar muttered in a worried voice as he strode up the stairs. Upon quickly reaching the third floor, he gestured for Albert to withdraw.

“I don’t need any more assistance.”

“Yes, please call me if you need anything.”

His steps quickened as he approached the bedroom. Standing before the door, Rishar carefully turned the handle. He opened the door as quietly as possible and entered.

The room was dark and quiet. Rishar turned his head toward the balcony, remembering Albert’s words. There, he saw Etienne with his eyes closed, buried in a large armchair.

Moonlight poured over his face through the billowing curtains.

“…”

Rishar stood frozen at the doorway, watching Etienne sleeping with a peaceful expression.

Perhaps due to the lingering effects of his dream, somehow Etienne’s face from when Rishar first saw him overlapped with his current face. He approached Etienne slowly, muffling his footsteps.

“Hyung-nim.”

Rishar leaned his upper body toward Etienne and called out to him in a whisper. But there was no response.

Rishar’s gaze, which had been on Etienne’s face, moved downward. Judging by the book lying on the knee blanket covering his thighs, it seemed he had fallen asleep while reading.

Rishar picked up the book that was tilted and about to fall to the floor and placed it on the table. Then he knelt on one knee and rested his chin on his hand atop the chair’s armrest.

Zzzz.

A faint breath echoed in the quiet room. Rishar looked up at Etienne carefully so as not to wake him. His sleeping face remained the same from the past to now.

‘I want to go to the Imperial Palace again!’

After first seeing Etienne, Rishar accompanied Meriel to the palace several more times. It was because he wanted to meet Etienne again.

His expectations of meeting Etienne, greeting him, and becoming friends quickly turned to disappointment.

Despite enduring the Emperor’s unpleasant glares and visiting the palace multiple times, Rishar couldn’t even catch a glimpse of Etienne’s hair, let alone his face.

Though he wanted to search every corner of the palace for Etienne, an unexpected hindrance prevented him from doing so.

‘Young Master, please don’t run off alone. It would be terrible if you got lost again like last time.’

After the incident, the chamberlain followed him like a leech, determined not to lose sight of him for a moment. Rishar persisted in looking around here and there despite the chamberlain’s interference. But he couldn’t meet Etienne.

‘The Prince has a very weak constitution. That’s why he spends most of his days in his room.’

Meriel comforted the disappointed Rishar by explaining why he couldn’t meet Etienne. However, Rishar didn’t give up.

After several attempts, Rishar finally succeeded in seeing Etienne again. But he couldn’t exchange greetings with him. Etienne wasn’t alone. Rishar narrowed his eyes at the woman with Etienne.

‘Chamberlain, who is that?’

‘That is Her Majesty the Empress.’

‘The Empress means she’s the Prince’s mother, isn’t she?’

‘Correct.’

Rishar tilted his head in confusion after hearing the chamberlain’s explanation. Etienne looked completely intimidated next to the Empress.

Why does he look like that?

Rishar couldn’t hide his surprise watching Etienne with the Empress. He couldn’t understand why he looked so frightened while being with family.

The Empress’s expression was equally unpleasant. She was saying something to Etienne with a scary face.

Though he couldn’t hear what was being said, her upturned eyes looked just like the evil witch from <The Sleeping Omega in the Forest>.

Afterward, Rishar was able to see Etienne from afar a couple more times. But again, he had no opportunity to greet him. There was always a servant by Etienne’s side who looked fierce.

‘Young Master, you must not approach the Prince.’

The head servant informed Rishar that the servant with Etienne was the Empress’s head lady-in-waiting. While doing so, he prevented Rishar from approaching Etienne. In the end, Rishar could only watch Etienne from afar.

In truth, even without that, Rishar wouldn’t have been able to speak to Etienne.

When Etienne’s eyes were open, his demeanor was very dark, unlike when he was asleep. His cloudy light blue eyes were dry, and his clear face was rough without a trace of vitality.

Could it be that he’s being bullied?

Rishar got serious as he observed Etienne’s face that showed not a hint of a smile.

The sensitive Rishar easily noticed that Etienne was uncomfortable with the lady-in-waiting who accompanied him. She following Etienne wasn’t meant as serving him but monitoring him.

Seeing the lady-in-waiting’s attitude toward Etienne naturally reminded him of the Empress he had seen recently. They both seemed like bad people indeed.

However, even if the young Rishar noticed something strange, there was nothing he could do. Rishar could only turn away after worriedly watching Etienne.

‘What did you just say? That you think the Prince is being bullied?’

‘Yes. I think so. I saw the Empress scolding the Prince. And the Empress’s lady-in-waiting also… uhm, anyway, something seems strange.’

‘Hmm.’

After much deliberation, Rishar sought counsel from Meriel. Fortunately, Meriel listened seriously to his son’s story. Rishar told him everything he had seen and felt.

‘What if he’s really being bullied?’

‘Don’t worry too much. Let’s talk to His Majesty the Emperor next time we visit the palace.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes. If there are indeed such events occurring as you say, we should inform His Majesty and separate the Empress and the Prince.’

‘Thank you, Mother!’

Rishar hugged Meriel with a bright smile. He was happy that a way to help Etienne seemed to have opened up.

He hoped the next palace visit would come soon. Rishar snuggled into Meriel’s embrace with an excited face.

But once again, Rishar’s wishes didn’t come true. His parents, who had left to inspect their territory, passed away one after another in an unfortunate accident.

‘The Grand Duke…! Sob!’

‘How could they leave so suddenly…’

At his parents’ funeral, Rishar sat blankly with a dazed expression.

He couldn’t feel any of it – the voices trying to comfort him, the hands patting his shoulders, the sympathetic gazes. When the world that had formed him collapsed in an instant, he couldn’t gather his thoughts.

‘Our poor young master, sniff, what should we do?’

People wailed watching Rishar who couldn’t even shed tears. Rishar swallowed the sobs rising to his throat and clenched both fists.

Though he wanted to cry loudly because his chest hurt so much, his body felt strangely cold, and his eyes stung painfully, he couldn’t bring himself to cry. It was because he remembered his father’s words that he shouldn’t show weakness in front of vassals.

Rishar held back his tears while repeating the words his father used to say habitually. Just then, a shadow fell over his head.

‘Young Duke.’

‘Your… Majesty?’

When Rishar raised his head after feeling a presence, he flinched and squinted one eye at the hot droplet falling on his cheek. The Emperor was silently shedding tears.

‘Will you come with me?’

The Emperor asked in a voice filled with sadness as he met Rishar’s gaze. Rishar blankly stared at the rough hand extended to him.

Through his tear blurred vision, he saw golden hair and blue eyes. It was a color that reminded him of someone. At that moment, Rishar’s face crumpled.

‘I’ll go.’

Rishar grabbed the hand extended to him while tears fell drop by drop. He could no longer hold back his tears. Not crying out loud was all Rishar could manage.

“Nngh.”

“…Hyung-nim?”

Rishar, who had been lost in memories, returned to reality when Etienne made a pained sound. He blinked to clear away the remnants of the past.

Etienne’s face came into focus in his cleared vision. As if having a bad dream, a slight wrinkle could be seen between Etienne’s brows.

“Etienne hyung-nim.”

Rishar watched the golden hair shimmer softly in the moonlight, then raised his hand and gently pressed the wrinkled brow. Etienne turned his head to the side, avoiding his hand.

“You’ll catch a cold if you sleep here.”

Rishar smiled slightly watching Etienne avoid his hand. The sensation of fine hair tickling between his fingers felt pleasant.

After confirming the wrinkle had smoothed out, Rishar removed his hand and slowly stood up. His desire not to wake Etienne from his sleep conflicted with his wish for Etienne to open his eyes and look at him.

“Wake up.”

Rishar whispered softly after kissing Etienne’s eye. The closed eyelids twitched at that. Long eyelashes trembled slightly before gradually revealing aqua eyes.

Rishar smiled seeing the sky blue eyes, which shone even in darkness, focusing on him.

“Ri… shar?”

“Yes, hyung-nim.”

Etienne was a bit startled by Rishar’s face appearing as soon as he opened his eyes. A sleepy voice flowed through slightly parted lips. Rishar answered while feeling thirst rise within him. He wanted to capture those lips right away.

“When did… you come.”

“Just now.”

“Should’ve not woken…”

Etienne mumbled in a sleep-laden voice. As he was rising, he suddenly seemed to remember something and greeted Rishar.

“Welcome back.”

Rishar momentarily froze at Etienne’s greeting. A smile gradually bloomed on his face that had gone blank for an instant.

He couldn’t hold back anymore. Unable to contain the happiness that flooded his chest, Rishar hugged Etienne just as he was.

“I’m back.”

“Rishar?”

Etienne felt the remaining drowsiness vanish at the warmth that enveloped him as he suddenly found himself in Rishar’s embrace. When he called out to him in surprise, a “yes” came in response. His voice was filled with joy.

Etienne rolled his eyes, puzzled by Rishar’s seemingly delighted demeanor. It had just been a habitual, everyday greeting.

However, seeing Rishar’s joy made something flutter in a corner of his heart. Even his ear, where Rishar’s laughter had touched, felt inexplicably hot.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better than yesterday.”

Etienne let out a languid sigh as he felt fingers brushing through his disheveled hair.

While it was still impossible to get up or walk without help, it was much better compared to yesterday when he had completely lost sensation below his waist. The dull pain in his lower back and lower body had also decreased from yesterday.

“That’s good.”

Rishar smiled after checking his temperature by placing a hand on his exposed forehead. Etienne shivered slightly as he felt lips touch the corner of his eye.

After the heat cycle, Rishar had become completely comfortable with physical affection toward Etienne. The lips touching his forehead or cheek felt so natural that it seemed as if it had always been this way.

The strange thing was that Etienne was also accepting it naturally.

Though the heat cycle he spent with Rishar was only five days, it felt as if he had been with him for at least five months. That’s how accustomed he had become to Rishar’s touch.

Does everyone change like this after becoming intimate with someone?

Etienne looked at Rishar with a sense of wonder. He felt strange about the changes that had come over him, wondering when he had started doing such things with Rishar.

This was especially significant because for Etienne, sharing warmth with another person was an enormously big deal.

Until now, Etienne had avoided contact with people as much as possible to hide the fact that he was an Omega. As a result, he had never had any meaningful physical contact with others even after turning twenty.

Loving embraces, passionate kisses, acts that made his whole body feel like it was melting—Rishar had been his first for all of these. Thinking about it this way brought an unbearable embarrassment.

Etienne lowered his eyes as he felt his face growing hot. Thankfully the room was dark. At least he could somewhat hide his reddened face from Rishar.

“Where did you go?”

“Taking care of some unfinished business. I also briefly met with His Majesty.”

When Etienne asked while trying to hide his embarrassment, Rishar answered as if it were nothing. At his additional comment, Etienne’s eyes grew round.

“Father?”

“Yes. While I was there, I told him to never bother you again.”

“What?”

Etienne wore an expression of disbelief at the unexpected words. Then his face quickly turned serious. He had realized why Rishar had said such things to the Emperor.

“Have you… made your decision?”

Etienne spoke cautiously after a moment’s hesitation. Suddenly, the tension in the air was palpable.

“I have.”

Unlike the tense Etienne, Rishar remained calm. At his unwavering voice, Etienne swallowed dryly. He felt conflicting emotions—wanting to hear quickly what decision Rishar had made while also not wanting to hear it.

“Uhm…”

Rishar hesitated momentarily at the sight of Etienne waiting for his answer with a trembling face.

Originally, he had planned to honestly tell Etienne about his plans. But seeing Etienne so tense reminded him of the conversation he had with Edwin.

‘What if the Prince doesn’t want to ascend to the throne? What will you do then?’

Before meeting Edwin, Rishar had already made up his mind. However, when he heard that question, he couldn’t answer immediately.

At that moment, he remembered Etienne saying he wanted to travel away from the capital once everything was over. That made him hesitate a bit.

Would it be right to tell Etienne that he wanted him to become Emperor, that he wanted to serve him as his lord?

“Rishar?”

“I’m sorry, I was just organizing my thoughts…”

When Rishar didn’t say anything, Etienne called out to him with a dumbfounded expression. Rishar had an awkward smile as he chose his words.

Until now, Etienne had lived according to the Empress’s will rather than his own. Expressing his wish for Etienne to become Emperor might become just another form of coercion for him. Knowing this made it difficult to speak up.

However, he still wanted to see Etienne sit in the highest position in the empire.

Rishar remembered Etienne from childhood, working hard to become crown prince. While that included the Empress’s wishes, it had also been Etienne’s dream.

Even if he had lost that dream now after continuous despair and painful times—no, precisely because of that—Rishar wanted Etienne to stand above the society and people who had ruined his life and made him unhappy. He was prepared to give his life for that cause.

“First, I believe Her Majesty the Empress must fall from power to resolve the current situation. Both for your sake and mine.”

“…You’re right.”

After briefly hesitating at Rishar’s words, Etienne agreed with a heavy expression.

“Mother needs to step down for everyone’s sake.”

“His Majesty agreed with this part. However, we had different opinions regarding the succession.”

“What do you mean…”

Etienne’s lips tightened at hearing that the Emperor and Rishar had different opinions. Rishar quickly cut in before Etienne could say anything.

“So I’d like to discuss the matter of succession again after we remove the Empress.”

In the end, Rishar could only repeat what he had told the Emperor. Simply saying now that he wanted Etienne to ascend to the throne would be too much pressure for him.

Due to years of abuse from the Empress, Etienne’s self-esteem was quite low.

First, Etienne needed to love himself and regain his self-confidence.

Rishar planned to create a position where Etienne could stand proud in front of others.

“After we drive out Her Majesty the Empress and House Herace, I will follow your choice. If you tell me to become Emperor, I will. If you wish to become Emperor, I will gladly offer my loyalty. It’s fine even if you change your mind midway and choose Her Majesty the Empress. If you ask me to die, I will gladly accept that too.”

“How can you say such things?”

Etienne felt a surge of emotion at Rishar’s last words. Frowning, he raised his voice.

“Do you think I would say such a thing to you?”

“Hyung-nim.”

“How could I, with what feelings…”

How could I push you away? Etienne bit his lower lip hard, swallowing the words that had risen to his throat. Leona had already made plans to get rid of Rishar after he began to show promise.

Fortunately, her plans repeatedly failed. The Emperor thoroughly protected Rishar, and Rishar’s own abilities were exceptional. However, this fact only further provoked Leona’s anger.

From then on, Etienne decided to distance himself from Rishar. If he appeared close to Rishar, it was obvious that Leona would try to use him to eliminate Rishar.

So Etienne pretended to grow apart from Rishar in front of Leona. To avoid her suspicion, he made various excuses to Rishar and drew a line. That was the best Etienne could do.

“Mother, no, the Empress, I already said she’s no longer my mother. Do you know how much courage it took to say that? Do I seem like someone who would betray you…?”

Etienne demanded with a trembling voice, his emotions running high. He didn’t understand why he felt so betrayed. Etienne was angry because it seemed like Rishar didn’t trust him.

“That’s not what I meant…. I apologize. I spoke wrongly.”

“Get off me!”

Rishar embraced Etienne, who was trembling with anger. Etienne struggled to break free from his arms.

But Rishar wouldn’t let go. He held Etienne in his arms and patted his thin back.

“I didn’t mean to upset you. I wanted to show you that whatever choice you make, I will do as you wish. Living for you—that’s the decision I’ve made.”

“You…”

“Before, now, and in the future, I will continue to live as your sword and shield. So use me as you please.”

“…What do you gain from that?”

Etienne asked weakly, having finally calmed his emotions. Living for his sake… no matter how he thought about it, Rishar was getting the short end of the deal.

“I’ll gain a happier you than now.”

“What?”

“I want you to be happier than anyone else. I want you to smile as the happiest person in the world.”

Rishar squeezed Etienne once in his arms before letting go. Momentarily stunned by his sincere words, Etienne’s face suddenly contorted.

“That’s impossible.”

“What is?”

“Why would you go so far…”

Why do you always… Etienne muttered with a confused face. Rishar looked at the confused Etienne before simply speaking his heart.

“Because I like you.”

Etienne froze at the unexpected words. What? He gaped blankly like someone who had heard something unbelievable.

Rishar smiled faintly and cupped Etienne’s cheeks with both hands. Soon their foreheads and noses touched. Etienne’s shoulders trembled as he felt the sweet breath on his lips.

“Ri.. shar…?”

Etienne called him with a slightly shaking voice. Instead of answering, Rishar met his gaze.

Etienne caught his breath as he met the navy eyes that held a more serious light than usual. Those eyes, resembling the night sea, rippled with deep affection.

“I like you, hyung-nim.”

Once the first time was over with, the second was easier. Rishar put into words the love he had kept pressed down for so long. His feelings, transformed into words with shape, soon became an earnest confession.

“I’ve liked you for a very long time. Much longer than you think, continuously since before you even knew of my existence.”

“What…”

Etienne opened his lips, his head blank. He couldn’t understand what he had just heard, what Rishar had said to him. His mind was hazy as if in a dream. So Rishar… to me…

Badump.

The moment he properly registered Rishar’s confession, his heart took one big leap. It didn’t take long for the gentle ripples to transform into fierce waves. The pounding that started from his left chest spread throughout his entire body in an instant.

“S-s-since when?”

Etienne stammered severely. His voice, his lips, his hands—everything trembled.

Rishar gently embraced Etienne, who was shaking like an aspen leaf. While it pained him to see the delicate body trembling so much, he was also pleased that it was because of him.

“Since I first saw you.”

Turning his head, Rishar kissed the reddened earlobe and whispered the secret he had kept hidden for so long. Etienne hunched his shoulders at the hot breath touching his ear.

“The first time?”

“Before my parents passed away, I visited the palace with my mother. At that time, I saw you sleeping in a garden. After that, I followed my mother to the palace several times because I wanted to see you again.”

“I didn’t know…”

Etienne muttered in a dazed voice. When Rishar said ‘first time,’ he had thought of the day Rishar came to the palace with the Emperor, but he never knew there was truly a first time he wasn’t aware of.

“You wouldn’t have known. I never even managed to speak to you. I only watched from afar.”

Rishar said with a small laugh. When he saw the sleeping Etienne, he fell in love like a character in a fairy tale.

He was too young then to know that feeling was love, but looking back, every moment had been love. It was love at first sight.

“You had some idea about my feelings, didn’t you? That’s why you rejected me then, telling me not to say it, that you didn’t want to hear it.”

Rishar mentioned the day Etienne had fainted. His heart still dropped and his chest ached when he thought of Etienne collapsing before his eyes.

At the time, he thought Etienne had collapsed because of his pheromones, but strangely now, he had an odd certainty that wasn’t the only reason.

“That, I…”

Etienne couldn’t deny it. Rishar was right. That day, his fainting was probably partly due to some sort of defense mechanism.

Etienne remembered the fear he had felt that day. He hadn’t known exactly what emotion it was then, but now he could understand.

That day, he had been afraid of this very situation. He had cowardly run away because he was scared Rishar would confess to him, that their relationship would completely crumble.

How could he not have known? Those eyes that constantly gazed at him.

Etienne stared at the azure eyes brimming with a single emotion, his face numb. Those eyes, deep as the ocean, had always held unchanging affection.

From their first meeting until now, Rishar had been gentle to Etienne, warm, and devoted. If he were a season, he would surely be the warm spring.

In more immature times, Etienne had secretly enjoyed the attention and affection Rishar showed him. He couldn’t help it. Because no one else acknowledged him except Rishar.

‘Hyung-nim, hyung-nim! What are you doing right now?’

‘Reading a book.’

‘What kind of book? Can I read with you?’

‘The Empire’s History.’

‘Wow, it’s so thick! I thought only adults read books like this, you’re amazing!’

‘What’s so amazing about it? I’m just reading.’

‘No, it’s not just that! I wouldn’t even dare to try reading it! You’re really cool!’

Rishar, unlike Etienne, had a bright and energetic personality. And he had a talent for making ordinary things seem extraordinary. Whenever Etienne did something, he would always express amazement and praise him for being cool.

‘Hyung-nim, you’re really amazing. How are you so smart?’

‘Please stop saying things like that.’

‘Huh? Why?’

‘Stop making fun of me.’

‘I’m not making fun of you…! You teach better than the instructors. Really! I much prefer learning from you.’

At first, Rishar’s attention had been burdensome. Since no one had ever praised him for doing well, he wondered if Rishar was just joking.

But as he spent time with him, he realized that wasn’t the case. Rishar was always sincere.

Etienne sensed undeniable goodwill in those sparkling eyes focused on him. It was the first unconditional affection he had received in his life.

That’s why he liked it. He couldn’t help but like those eyes that sparkled while looking at him, that voice that couldn’t contain its joy at seeing him.

Even though he couldn’t return even half of Rishar’s affection, even though he couldn’t be of any help to him, Etienne would sometimes fall into the illusion that he was a useful person when he was with Rishar.

‘Why do you keep smiling?’

‘Hm? Me? Was I smiling?’

‘You’re still smiling like a fool right now.’

‘Fool… well, maybe because I’m happy? Probably because I’m with you, hyung-nim.’

‘You’re always good with words.’

‘Ah, you smiled. See, you enjoy being with me too, right?’

‘I do not.’

There were days when he thought he was fortunate to be someone who could make Rishar smile, fortunate to be useful even in just that way.

Seeing Rishar smile so happily as if just being together was enough would unconsciously bring a smile to his face. When he was with him, he felt like he too was someone worth living.

That’s why it was scary and frightening. Rishar was precious to him, and he didn’t want to change their current relationship. He was afraid of losing the only treasure he had.

“So… uhm.”

He needed to say something. But what should I say…

Etienne barely moved his lips before closing them again. His throat was too tight for his voice to come out. No, even if his voice had come out properly, he wouldn’t have been able to answer.

Etienne felt like crying for a different reason than before. He bit his lips hard as he felt his vision blur. Then a gentle hand touched his eyelids.

“Don’t make that expression.”

Rishar rubbed his fingertips against the teary eyes. The moisture on his fingertips made him feel sorry. Rishar carefully lowered his head.

Etienne closed his eyes as he felt lips stealing away the teardrops at the corners of his eyes.

“I didn’t mean to trouble you.”

Small kisses showered down on his eyes. With each touch and retreat of the lips, his wet eyelashes trembled. Rishar wandered around the salty wet eyes before sliding his lips down.

“Nothing has to change. If you say you don’t want this, I won’t do anything.”

The lips that had moved down below his eyes touched his cheeks and the bridge of his nose in turn. Etienne squeezed his eyes shut at the heat touching his flushed skin. Everywhere Rishar’s lips touched, a ticklish heat bloomed.

“But.”

The warmth that finally reached Etienne’s lips brushed against the plump flesh along with hot breath.

Etienne felt the nape of his neck tingle at the heat felt from such close proximity. A thrilling sensation flowed down his spine.

“If you waver even a little bit toward me…”

Rishar continued speaking at a distance where their lips almost touched. Etienne opened his eyes, unable to bear the heat tickling his lips.

Then he saw the night sky filled with heat. The navy eyes sparkling like they held a cluster of stars contained unmistakable desire.

“Don’t reject me.”

Rishar, who whispered like a sigh, tilted his head slightly. The moment their lips fit together perfectly, Etienne’s waist straightened and his chin tensed.

“Hyung-nim…”

Rishar called Etienne while keeping their lips pressed together. At his voice begging for permission, the tensed lips trembled and parted. Rishar didn’t miss that gap and delved into Etienne’s mouth.

“Mmng.”

Etienne trembled as he felt the flesh gently swimming inside his mouth.

Unlike the pheromones surging fiercely as if about to devour Etienne right away, the kiss was as soft as gentle flower petals and as sweet as honey.

“Hmph. Hah.”

Etienne raised his fingertips as if clinging to the tightly tensed shoulders. His breathing grew increasingly rapid. He felt large, strong hands entering between his hair strands.

“Haah…”

The lips that had been pressed together for a long while separated with a wet sound. Air entered where the warm flesh that had been heating his mouth had left.

Etienne panted, his chest heaving. Even though their lips had parted, the heat wouldn’t subside.

Rishar pressed his forehead against Etienne’s and let out a short breath. Etienne felt the hand on his nape tighten its grip.

“You asked me earlier what I gain from living for you.”

Rishar rubbed his forehead against Etienne’s, trying to suppress the desire surging inside him. A husky voice flowed between his controlled breaths.

“If… if there’s something I want from you, could you give it to me, whatever it might be?”

Rishar asked, filled with intense desire. He thought he could endure it, but he was wrong. It would have been better if Etienne had rejected him, but he didn’t.

Rishar felt fierce greed raising its head the moment Etienne’s lips parted.

“…If it’s something I can give.”

Etienne answered, breathing heavily. It was completely sincere. Rishar’s eyes darkened as he sensed the sincere voice. His lips, wet with saliva, curved dangerously.

“Do you know what payment I want?”

“Anything is fine.”

“Then give me yourself.”

“What?”

Etienne, who had been catching his breath, froze at the bold demand. Then a firm hand stroked his slender neck. Rishar, who had been smudging the marks left on the pale skin with his thumb, tilted his head.

When he pressed his lips against the neck, he could feel the heart beating thump-thump through the delicate skin. Rishar expressed his desire as he felt an intense hunger.

“I don’t need anything else. What I want is you, hyung-nim.”

An eerie shiver ran through him at the voice filled with instinctive possessiveness. Etienne fell into an indescribable sensation.

His mind became distant again, as if dreaming. His breath caught as time seemed to stop.

“Ah, um.”

Etienne’s lips moved wordlessly, like someone who had forgotten how to speak. Rishar’s raw, unhidden emotions crashed into his heart like a tidal wave. Now not just his face, but his entire body was tinged with a rosy flush.

What should I do? What should I do?

Etienne anxiously nibbled his lower lip. While he was flustered by Rishar’s confession, part of him was happy. It was the first time someone had desired him so passionately.

I should reject him.

Etienne tried to somehow contain his feelings that were swaying towards Rishar. But it was difficult to suppress his stirred emotions.

Why not? He already found out you’re an Omega anyway.

Etienne’s body stiffened at the thought that had gently raised its head from the corner of his heart. It was a desire he hadn’t even known he had.

The desire to do as Rishar wanted, without thinking about the Empress, the Emperor, or anything else.

“I, uh, I mean I…”

Etienne wavered, unable to do either. His reason, which said he shouldn’t accept Rishar, clashed sharply with his emotions that wanted to accept him.

“Rishar…”

“Yes, hyung-nim.”

Finally, unable to find an answer, Etienne called out to Rishar, not knowing what to do.

Rishar submissively responded to Etienne, who could neither accept nor reject his confession and only called his name. However, his actions were different.

“Ah, uh!”

His slim shoulders reflexively shrank back at the sudden teeth digging into his soft skin. A strange heat bloomed behind the pain.

Rishar slowly raised his head after making new teeth marks over the traces he had left before. His deep blue eyes gleamed brightly. Etienne couldn’t avoid the wave approaching him.

“Ri-, mmph.”

Before he could react, their lips met. A tongue gently invaded, parting the tender flesh, tracing his even teeth and tickling the roof of his mouth. Etienne clutched Rishar’s arms with trembling hands.

Rishar embraced the body that kept twitching from the tingling pleasure, as if to soothe it. Like their deeply overlapping lips, their bodies pressed together without any gap.

“Nngh!”

Once again, Etienne couldn’t push Rishar away. It was impossible from the start. Although Rishar had said he could reject him as much as he wanted, there was no way he could reject him.

“Haa, Ri-, mmph.”

The sound that escaped through the brief gap was immediately devoured by Rishar.

Rishar absorbed every moan and breath Etienne let out without missing any. Their lips, wet with each other’s saliva, collided and rubbed together, making wet sounds.

“Huu…”

Etienne made a pained sound as if struggling with getting breath. His head spun from the endless, aggressive kisses that didn’t even allow him to breathe.

Etienne raised his hand as if to say stop. His white, slender fingers tangled with thick black hair. Though his intention was to stop Rishar, it only ended up stimulating him more.

Rishar, losing his composure at the flower scent flowing from the aroused body, pressed closer with a groan deep in his throat. The chair bearing both their weights made a creaking sound.

Rishar clicked his tongue and stood up as he felt the chair wobbling unsteadily under their weight. As their lips parted, Etienne let out his held breath.

“Just a moment…”

A low, humid voice suddenly penetrated his muffled ears. Etienne flinched as calloused hands wrapped around his waist. Soon another hand slipped behind his knees.

“Ah!”

The moment his body was lifted, lips approached again. Whatever the rush was, Rishar continued kissing while moving with Etienne in his arms.

It was instantaneous when the body floating in the air was laid on the soft sheets. Etienne exhaled shallow breaths, feeling the heat pressing down on his body. He couldn’t gather his thoughts from the endless rain of kisses.

“Haa, wai-”

The word ‘wait’ couldn’t become sound. Rishar’s pheromones, like fierce waves, crashed over Etienne completely.

Etienne was swept away by Rishar’s sensations like being caught in rapids. It felt like being dragged into depths where he couldn’t even breathe.

No.

When they finally separated lips, Rishar sucked once at his neckline and touched his collarbone below. Etienne, barely regaining his senses, grabbed his face with trembling hands.

“St-stop. Ah.”

Rishar hesitated at Etienne’s restraining touch. When Rishar’s movements stopped, Etienne’s hands fell down with a thud.

“Should I stop?”

Rishar took a breath as he looked down at Etienne, who was breathing heavily with a flushed face. Unlike the questioning words, his cracked voice dripped with thick desire. It was a really sensual voice.

Etienne felt his spine tingle as he raised his hands again. Rishar narrowed his eyes at the warmth blocking his lips.

“Are you sure?”

“Ah!”

Rishar, who had grabbed the trembling wrist, lightly bit the palm blocking his lips. Etienne, who had inadvertently let out a moan, gasped with a surprised face. He hadn’t expected to feel anything from just having his palm bitten.

“D-Don’t.”

Etienne barely managed to speak. He gathered what little reason remained.

While the incident of his heat cycle could be dismissed as an unavoidable accident, now was different. Both he and Rishar were in their right minds. If he did this with him now, it would truly be irreversible.

“We can’t… do this.”

“Why not?”

“That’s, ah.”

This time his fingertip was bitten. The words that had barely taken shape turned into a moan at Rishar’s stimulation. Etienne pulled his hand back in shock at the lips that had captured his finger.

“You-you said I could reject you.”

Etienne said, almost crying. His head was dizzy and his body was hot. Even though it wasn’t his heat cycle, he was scared of how he responded to each of Rishar’s actions. It was as if he had been tamed by him.

“I’m sorry.”

Rishar made an ‘oh no’ expression at Etienne’s frightened appearance. He had ended up pushing him too far, unable to overcome his surging desire. Rishar immediately apologized upon realizing his mistake.

“I ended up forcing myself on you.”

“No, that’s not it…”

Etienne shook his head at Rishar who was apologizing to him. He couldn’t figure out what to do.

“I don’t know.”

Etienne honestly expressed his state. He took a deep breath and exhaled to try to suppress the heat consuming his body. It was difficult to continue thinking with an excited body.

“You’re precious to me. But I’m scared.”

Etienne muttered with a confused face. He didn’t know exactly what his feelings for Rishar were.

He liked Rishar, and if asked to name the most precious person in the world, it would obviously be him. But he couldn’t be sure if the affection he had for Rishar was love.

He was someone who didn’t know love. Someone who didn’t know how to love because he had never been loved.

Rishar’s feelings were overwhelming and burdensome to Etienne, to whom the sensation of being loved by someone and liking someone were only unfamiliar.

“Right now… with these, these feelings, I don’t think it will work.”

Etienne struggled to put words of rejection in his mouth. Even at this moment, his body was screaming to be touched by Rishar.

But he couldn’t mix his body with his again without defining his own feelings. Etienne desperately held onto his reason.

“…I understand.”

Rishar, who had been silent at the desperate plea, answered as he withdrew his overlapped body. It was Etienne who became anxious at his docile retreat.

Is he angry?

Etienne anxiously examined Rishar’s face. Since he was backlit by moonlight, his expression wasn’t clearly visible. Etienne reached out and grabbed him urgently.

“S-sorry.”

“No.”

Rishar pulled Etienne’s hand that had grabbed his own towards himself. After kissing the back of his hand with a soft sound, he whispered in a gentle voice.

“You have nothing to apologize for. I was too hasty.”

“Rishar.”

“I couldn’t control my greed for a moment and acted childishly. I’m sorry.”

Rishar, who had politely apologized to Etienne, tidied up the place and laid him down. After pulling up the blanket, he patted Etienne’s chest a few times.

“Please go to sleep now.”

“What about you?”

Etienne asked in an anxious voice. Unlike his seemingly peaceful voice, Rishar’s pheromones were still raging violently. He felt sorry knowing that Rishar was holding back for his sake.

“I’ll… go cool my head for a bit. And reflect on my actions.”

Rishar, who had slightly trailed off his words, soon stroked Etienne’s hair as if to say not to worry. Feeling the warmth moving away from him, Etienne unconsciously opened his mouth.

“If-if it’s just a little, it’s okay…!”

“Pardon?”

Rishar, who had withdrawn his hand from Etienne and was getting up, stopped abruptly at the completely unexpected words. Etienne lowered his eyes, unable to look at him directly.

Just minutes ago he had told Rishar to stop, and now he was saying a little was okay – it was ridiculous even to himself. But he didn’t want Rishar to move away from him.

“So, uh, not like before, being scary… if it’s just a little, it’s okay.”

This is troublesome. Rishar’s lips tightened at Etienne’s stumbling words. He absolutely had no confidence in stopping at just a little.

But since he had no intention of refusing the offered meal, he leaned his body back towards Etienne.

“You say a little is okay?”

“Mhm.”

“How much is that? What extent is okay?”

“Huh…?”

Etienne was puzzled because of Rishar’s questions. He had been so desperate to keep him from leaving that he hadn’t thought about how much to allow. Rishar smiled seductively at the flustered Etienne.

“Would kisses be okay?”

“…That would be fine.”

No sooner had Etienne’s answer ended than a soft warmth touched and left. Once, twice, three times… light contacts continued as if tickling his lips. After pulling away, Rishar asked in a quiet voice, as if sharing a secret.

“What about leaving marks on your body?”

“Uhm, well, if it doesn’t hurt…”

“Understood.”

A languid smile appeared on Rishar’s lips at Etienne’s answer. Soon after, his lips found their way. Unlike before, it was a deep kiss.

Etienne closed his eyes slowly, feeling the heat conquering his mouth. It didn’t take long for the room, where even moonlight had disappeared, to become as hot as midday.