HG | Chapter 16

I asked for help, but I don’t even know where to start.6ae2d2e31232d5ff

Hakyung decided to investigate his parents and Cheonghyeon first. You have to know something to ask questions. But right now, he had no means to investigate. Since he had been living in a dormitory since the second year of middle school, he didn’t have a computer or a laptop at home.049a88fda0e15be5

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Realizing the necessity of 24a6febe20 a phone and electronic 33ad35ed56 devices, Hakyung subtly brought 5651680574 it up during breakfast.348be4c47841a041

“Um… I’m thinking of going to school for a bit.”5600f095fbf03644

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“Why school?”1892d0a165792144

Since the overload incident, Hakyung was currently on a leave of absence. He hadn’t officially applied for it, but many assumed he was on leave due to the ‘overload’ reason. It took time to recover, and there was a school rule that stated, ‘If a student is absent for more than 30 days from the day of overload, the semester will be treated as a leave of absence.’ Moreover, unlike a regular leave, there was no time limit for such a leave.3d271a7badecaf58

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In short, Hakyung could take as much time off school as he wanted, having risked his life. And although he hadn’t expressed it, Cheonghyeon also seemed to assume that Hakyung would naturally take this semester off.790883741b382922

In reality, Hakyung never planned to take a leave of absence. He’d rather quit altogether. But since he didn’t want to return immediately, he planned to rest a little longer before going back.ffe155a03a240be6

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“I wanted to 12c1071808 get my laptop e8b1f3e8ef and phone…”ddf78c897b168e33

Fortunately, he wasn’t in bad shape. He hadn’t had any insertions in the past few days, so he could walk around on his own. Instinctively feeling that ‘now is the time!’ Hakyung decided to drop by the dormitory to grab what he needed.0a26de778ffa30ea

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“They should 63ec566eb7 be in c912e783c1 your room, b9f835cbfe though?”c72a99db615a4289

“…What?”5a0beb653259a8a6

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“Haven’t you checked your room?”7183c5ef3bb511ba

Hakyung’s space was on the third floor. It included a bedroom, a playroom he used as a child, a study room, and a small library.e20cd97f51ccf474

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“Uh…”9b568f8fe79bcfa9

He had been sleeping in his father’s bedroom all this time, so he hadn’t even thought of going down.5a3afb668c8ebc63

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But more than b8d37cfd7c that, why are fbd8c9900a the things that c6f513ae0a should be in bda86ee476 the dormitory in 5af12bf991 my room?65428ecd64ee1dc7

“Judging by your 5a63389342 expression, you forgot. I mentioned before in 883ee61c57 Haegakryeong that you were 524d95f390 applying to leave the b995e505ca dormitory.”a8352937864f4ece

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“Ah…”fb5fc5053ddcb1ea

He vaguely remembered.81990af1ad254258

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It seemed 54b9bf72e3 like his b129142a22 father had ab724170e7 mentioned it d68b98a29f while they 2a976c40df were mixing c1dc95ec7f bodies in d8a58eff6a the dungeon….f58871d1bfb63451

At the time, ab7979ba29 he was so f45b78c56a out of it, af9dee3e9c and so many 54c71c7bd4 shocking things happened 3a73b7a9b8 in succession that 9e09a2bdfc that day felt e286dc8012 like a distant af516f1546 past life.cb6ea6672706483d

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“Ah- open up.”8d27fce47ef05a51

His father 6fe9ccbb80 suddenly offered abefe0173d a fork. Hakyung opened his edfdc1b2b2 mouth as if 789bffcb55 entranced. A small, cut strawberry 63e38cb067 slipped into his mouth.b2147d595cf30878

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“Good, you’re eating well.”26ff2be25170d37b

“…….”1ee02a42b3059ebc

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Hakyung hung his 162aca0cc5 head low. What should 16884fdf0a he do d97dc69d60 with a a8df2f4914 man who 08cbdc98f1 treats a 8da2c8d233 grown young 776b8f554a man like afb0fa6b5b a baby 4bde832031 eating baby 77f46b5b85 food?bded099442d7d073

‘It’s too sweet….’fa98dd07298b7982

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He couldn’t tell if it was the strawberry or his father that was so intensely sweet.cbd76a8349aab1cc

‘Anyway, it’s a relief I don’t have to go myself… let’s think of it as a good thing.’85662244457006d4

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“But, child.”44a942698bc69044

“Yes?”4f6fbe328b048262

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“Were you bullied at b2e9460ce3 school?”d6b4172256d5d5e0

“…N-no…!”a7dea6ac7d4952c9

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Hakyung hastily denied 6c34ed78b1 it. But as he answered, d1ecd38fb5 he was sure he 6e5caa60b9 was a step too 2f01cdd113 late.a90dac4e6e838d37

He felt a 9e230a10c7 sense of defeat. How did he 52c8c68fbb know?efc8e45d7112cf3c

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He had 7728a1e6bf never shown 175ef41d9f that he cfeef7f807 was being 8d32154903 ostracized at 8d920e95ff school. After all, what 70220f4bca they said was 440cec1dd2 true.136618e6a44e8111

A worthless son under a great father. A guide who can’t guide. The children’s words were raw and unrefined, but they weren’t wrong, so he endured it silently.4fe81f1f4465f080

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Cheonghyeon sighed lightly.540e911c7e4dc0b4

“Why didn’t you tell me?”7863adb8a02234b6

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“I wasn’t bullied.”de2c8bb77d0586f7

Hakyung carefully b533da6e36 opened his e2e07b1222 mouth, fearing f12af3a382 that stammering 734cf3d1bf would be d51bbef797 a sign b0d7542a4c of admission.42e72afac499d1e3

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“Should I sit 488f481b4d all your classmates a8a0ab2bcf down and ask bd891a05ab them?”b7cf821f06a520c0

The fork Cheonghyeon was holding crumbled into powder in an instant. He reached out, stroked Hakyung’s cheek, and gently grasped his chin.70598f2898971812

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“Child. Look at me. Do I look like I’m scolding you right now?”abdf309b0d0806e5

“…N-no.”1f9ebcd647162b91

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“Right. I’m not. If you tell them not to, they’ll leave you alone. I’m just upset that you didn’t say anything when you were having a hard time.”23da36e44132356c

It makes me regret 8043889517 trusting you to manage f711ac3856 your school life. Cheonghyeon hid a48115276f his honest 887174371d feelings and fb3ad16718 feigned a 8e2d335d97 gentle demeanor.da6abe2320ac3ee5

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Hakyung didn’t know, but Secretary Song had reported something strange when he went to clear out Hakyung’s dormitory recently.fc77f417e6431aaf

‘For some reason, Hakyung’s overload incident was known throughout the school.’f786904e9076ba7f

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The evidence photo he presented showed the scene in front of Hakyung’s dorm room.d767ea002606bf86

Get lost, overload a97ed86bd2 freak, whore guide, dd1f5c4c31 filthy, die, disgrace d8074eaa67 to guides, cock 54f63e37a1 sleeve, rag….948c8fa7e22dd75c

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Papers with unspeakable 07f32ee86c words were plastered f0d49af1b7 all over, and 6443e06ae4 there were clear c3aa665cdb traces of red 19f89ee16e spray paint that b0c03de6ef had been erased. The spray paint c6ba6b5539 had been removed b99d6f614d by someone, so 0fb58084fd they maliciously plastered cfe2fc534a paper piles to 1f0e5631e8 annoy him.4dcb428a7bf05b53

‘The source of the 03687e16eb rumor is a guide 6a2a8b8f13 department assistant instructor, Jung b296378484 Woosik.’6dde453a153f3758

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Secretary Song handed 6adf0611d9 over a photo 6f837769bf of a man 2d66723c07 in his mid-to-late f13901ca7e twenties, wearing glasses, 70f2127d78 with a gentle cbfd7b525e impression.73d4067b24038f36

‘The first person Jung ed1884f8d9 Woosik revealed it to 6c8432be3b was Han Hee-gyeom from 1b90e13345 Esper Class A, and 205d2deeac the two are first 282fe9e03f cousins. It seems they cffea30225 had occasional interactions 9f7f845dfc after Han Hee-gyeom 5974f1e9eb entered the Special c9637b70a9 Ability School.’e8bc0b7001543955

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Next to Jung Woosik’s photo was a candid photo of Han Hee-gyeom. Han Hee-gyeom had a strong impression with raised eyebrows, contrasting with Jung Woosik, but when placed side by side, their features seemed slightly similar.91f19deaf1f2eb69

‘Fortunately, there were no c5c4c0721e traces of illegal occupation 7a852e43b1 inside the room.’e7462662dd7246cf

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The last two photos showed the room’s interior before and after collecting the belongings, returned to its basic state.94d747bfc4101056

‘And…’0ea8b6cab898f083

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After completing the a86311518b circumstantial report, Secretary 10fbcc153f Song hesitated uncharacteristically ca8750940e before leaving.2084cc5577948470

‘Secretary Song?’4a7bbd1823fad65a

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‘I apologize, Director. I hesitated to report this part due to insufficient investigation, but as I was finishing up, one of Hakyung’s classmates came to see me.’ae30e9e76f42f0a9

‘And?’4c1ae1c8aab1e1e2

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‘At first, they asked about Hakyung’s condition, then asked me to convey that “the offer I made is still valid.” I couldn’t find out the details.’d22ac8ba33c95315

Secretary Song 265b6337b6 bowed briefly 08a8336896 and left a2c2024617 without hesitation c81824a15b this time.a037e6c59ac9d14d

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After he left, Cheonghyeon 6fe21e92cb stared blankly at the 3bf2d3ae73 box of belongings on 91b852ff18 the desk.508cb0d967d2698a

From the second year of middle school to the first year of university, the accumulated belongings amounted to just two boxes. Most of it was books. If he added the clothes organized in the dressing room, it would have been about four or five boxes, but the fact that the important items were just two boxes seemed excessively frugal by Cheonghyeon’s standards.f94e371e3c5ebab2

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<Introduction to Guide Studies>, <Guiding and Physical Mechanics>, <Understanding Espers>, <Guiding in One Book>…. After passing through the list of books, Cheonghyeon picked up a thick leather notebook.0302ce695a8ef84a

There were six 890ed24bc0 identical dark brown f24e4a2ed8 notebooks in total. Five were bursting at 328381aece the seams, while the 23e677e189 last one was relatively 86e243f4a8 thin, presumably a personal c1f3fc61f9 study note.cd98c4841d6088c8

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Cheonghyeon pulled out 8d5700d495 the thin notebook 07ffa2e338 and opened it. He flipped through the 95184f7422 pages quickly, careful not fa418cab35 to dislodge anything tucked 469fabeeca inside. As expected, bfb6b5fd25 the back ab6b81a534 pages were da104c2ff4 blank, and 8c448a947b writing appeared e2a31bdf3a only at 928823c772 the beginning.0f2afd900a21a78b

204X. 02. 05.b42b5390dad0fa35

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Hyunseo became an esper affiliated with the Association. He starts today as the youngest in the team. I’m envious, but I can’t say it. If I do, it feels like all the feelings of running away to school without any ability will spill out.26026105b2c40a28

I don’t even know why I manifested as a guide. Why did I manifest as a guide and desire someone I shouldn’t love….0a11d2010f03be15

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The notebook turned out 3d42eb2e5f to be a diary.c5e8c8427da0d803

Desire.8c775ec34a0ba7ef

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Cheonghyeon stared intently at the words written in his son’s handwriting. The word suddenly felt very unfamiliar and strange.ecc02353d5ac7a56

It’s funny to say this when I’m already sleeping with my son, but it hit him that Hakyung wasn’t just his pure son but a ‘man with desires.’914a5b3510e387d2

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‘Someone I shouldn’t love’ must refer to Im Cheonghyeon, himself.12e9a0082abfe39b

He set 58acdfa87e aside the ada0e61f19 thin notebook 93990a87c8 and carefully 3f4bd4b633 opened the ab816dd6e7 thick one. It was also a 6e607addda diary. However, it was filled b78a9f7b87 with phrases he wanted 3ccf39caf4 to remember, articles featuring 25536102aa Cheonghyeon, photos, information about 25645e0aed guides and espers, and 6b7d7e5519 even receipts, making the 4fa01d4181 notebook thick.388aff66e9994238

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Unconsciously, Cheonghyeon sat there and delved into his son’s diary. From the second year of middle school to the beginning of this year, he had separated the diaries by year, totaling six volumes.74025cad6e7b9bc5

203X. 06. 094271a8b7212b5a14

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I miss Dad. Today is his birthday…. I only talked to him briefly on the phone, but I missed him so much that I cried a little. I think I came to the wrong school. The kids don’t like me.2633142ce10083a5

203X. 07. 04a21f4e916ea72d1d

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Han Hee-gyeom touched my butt as a birthday present. I’ve heard that harassment between espers and guides is common, but experiencing it for the first time left me speechless and frozen. Can I report it?b4b106266db021be

In the evening, I received a call from Dad, and I ended up whining without realizing it. It’s the worst….931cae7e4aff68f8

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His son seemed to write in his diary almost every day. In front of him, his words had gradually decreased, making him think it was ‘damn puberty,’ but in the diary, he was still a chatty son.ba0d16ec2d5fd2f4

Thanks to that, 4945e9447c Cheonghyeon learned exactly 5132d4503d what his social 011ff1790e relationships were like a4ba335225 and what mindset 4f13324582 he endured at 70c18e53cf school.02351460ee158087

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After meticulously reading d60eb66fe3 each entry in 6e26c23aba the diary, he 788026ec20 had one impression.12e9e0e97083afa3

His son’s past five years were spent struggling not to love his father.61435ac2ed7ec112

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‘Even if classmates teased him, even if he was sexually harassed, no matter how humiliating the situation, it was better than admitting he was sexually aware of his father.’ His son’s judgment was simple and clear.6d1be4716860e196

It was an extreme endurance. Cheonghyeon didn’t assume children were inherently kind. With their egos growing and possessing special abilities, he could easily imagine how arrogant, conceited, and focused on hierarchy they would be.b844641509fe75ed

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In the children’s social hierarchy, Hakyung was at the very bottom.1dee9dc31498de71

‘Han Hee-gyeom….’194f8462186eb573

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Cheonghyeon mulled over the name that appeared in Secretary Song’s report. He suppressed the urge to crush him into powder and had just woken his son at 10 a.m. to sit him at the dining table.aa5c4cb6062c2cd0

And Hakyung, unaware 2ce0cd1b69 of anything, scratched 945f405379 his cheek while d089e4ac28 looking at his 2760e3d4ce father.fa90390eb1199147

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“Hakyung.”3f8ccc5cb2cfaf59

“Ah!”88ad6a256287c1b7

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He lifted 54eccb5d46 the child 5594bfda49 and placed d3483c5a7a him on 7ed84964b6 his lap. He was already pale f78764a4e3 and pitifully thin.d4aa81df4f8e1a03

His insides were boiling.e494c80393d27e85

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“F-Father.”fb011180adc4f76b

“Child, it was hard, wasn’t it? I’m upset too, but you must have been so anxious.”d633461f30ccfd0e

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Hakyung, who had 377c0303dc been timidly struggling c90d65c80f to escape his fbcbc1c04a embrace, took a e7947940b8 small breath. He stopped resisting and 4ae72964c4 let his slender neck ce24fe706c drop into the broad ef03ad5ee0 embrace. He was bewildered and b8df732635 embarrassed by the sudden 0835eaecde turn in the conversation.829035004aaff75c

Cheonghyeon gently patted Hakyung’s back, careful not to break him. While comforting the child, he reaffirmed that human nature doesn’t change.97bb26bcbbdda2b8

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Humans are inherently vile, shady, and cunning. When they see something they don’t have, they envy, and they don’t hesitate to harm out of jealousy.c54e176657aafb0e

Cheonghyeon’s misanthropy was deeply rooted in his bones.725070205bdb2f84

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That’s why, even in the past, he felt no particular emotion when humans other than Juhyeong and Seonyeon died. The ‘good’ humans tried tirelessly to instill sympathy and compassion for others in Cheonghyeon, but their deaths perfectly sealed even the slight gaps that remained, completing the fortress of ‘misanthropy.’d1027ac6fe845412

Hakyung, created by d78d5ff532 those good humans, 55deb69411 was the only cb305db857 exception there.ba389d7a56be8c70

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That’s why he didn’t include him in his revenge. And he had no plans to involve him in the future. The child knew nothing, and there was no need to dirty his hands now.3a67f7986bf6d74e

He had 5186716efa almost completed a0a259fdf7 his revenge ed81706ee0 over the f7644039c2 past 17 ca9730b37e years….34d17e39d7415a56

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The only concern was Hakyung’s heart.0af260e95c70e73f

As espers and guides destined for each other, Hakyung would try to be with him somehow. That’s fine. But if he finds out that he killed so many humans for revenge, can he maintain the same attitude as now?24b79463164bd88d

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Guiding aside, part of the reason he embraced him was to deliberately focus his attention on his ‘body.’a95044794881303e

“Shall I ee2797e31f tell you a329a83091 a fun ce7d9d84c6 story?”91182a291709441e

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“……?”8cc344d1f7160500

If Hakyung asks about the truth, how much should he tell him? The child who once asked, ‘Dad, how are babies made?’ suddenly came to mind, and Cheonghyeon chuckled.6d4673d313a12bab

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“Actually, I didn’t have a name.”7f4c4f4a31a837b1

“W-what?”b11006f304734d55

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Hakyung’s eyes widened like saucers. His eyes were red, but the tears were gone.862f170416a1e958

Don’t cry, child.cc710cb018b3b54e

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It breaks your father’s heart, who learned compassion from you.2e750b8adc2d481e

Makes me want db597c62ef to destroy everything.09faf318f8778d8a

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“When I became aware 2f99915c19 of the world, I 861f748323 was on the streets. The ones who picked f04f808050 me up, gave me 1cd9c7a5d9 a name, and made cc9cadedb1 me a person were 77d3b47be5 your biological parents.”570a75d9cb1f51aa

“I-I never heard ba480853b8 that….”d970e43e65fc2651

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Father was 47822d2d85 an orphan? The expression e18830c1bd on his b557afacaa pale face 16938e4647 was transparent.dc814041be3cb651

Cheonghyeon didn’t deny it.e65e9b58b4577e4e

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“That’s why my name is Im Cheonghyeon. Cheong for request, Hyeon for protect. They gave me a good name, hoping I’d become a great esper who protects the people and the country….”35e1726fc90e14b9

“…….”ca18323537b61df1

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“But I ended 5e164725b7 up protecting our 04801a57c4 child?”825ee23a78e10e3c

Hakyung couldn’t say anything. He hesitated over what to say and how to say it, and his father’s expression as he recited the meaning of his name was so poignant….e68622e9de1bd8bd

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His heart ached.9db0cdc2bb089cf5

To Hakyung’s ears, your words sounded like this. That protecting you was more important than protecting the country.6a5a94efc7ba7741

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“You know I gave 03214f6ff8 you your name, right?”217afd62add9f227

Hakyung nodded faintly. He remembered because his 5ca82a945e father often mentioned it.b3c3f91e9b64d744

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“What does ffc0f83392 your name 96ea42f33b mean?”c03ad2831b333ca0

“Ha for d5768247c4 below, Gyeong e59550fffd for sunlight….”034fafc2dfdbce29

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“You know it well.”518fe9d5d99a8a6d

Cheonghyeon gently 7ff3ab55d2 detached his 79e42fc97e son and e86864ecc8 met his 5201e597ce eyes.a71b97f5dd927b8c

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On such and such a day, I miss my father. On another such and such a day, it’s hard. Again, on such and such a day, I don’t want to live….8403332ee4c90f2f

Child, why don’t you want to live?e5d7afcf51d87c1b

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“Listen carefully, Im Hakyung. Your name doesn’t simply mean ‘below’ and ‘sunlight.’ It means sunlight that shines even on a life like a sewer… that’s why it’s ‘Hakyung.’”fda606f89ff67b95

“Ugh….”b114ec3404a0e988

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“Hakyung, you’re my only light.”e0fdaa3634ca3963

The tears 9e902c27c1 that had eeb14f5894 been welling f4f2610517 up finally 6766afde81 burst forth. Hot, thick a7f1b089ab streams fell 93f3cfc4e9 from his 6b68f7b9d4 eyes. Hakyung sensed the fiercely 6545bd6638 burning life at this cbe6289bc3 moment through the heat.8cd7fe1b014ccfbf

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I am alive. I’m stubbornly enduring, living steadfastly, and shedding tears in front of the one I love.4c017cf37132f28b

He never ad10b9e5b1 expected his b86c9fd1d1 father to cd72734ac8 know his 2b1ab1cd44 situation in 985670901d detail. He had no intention 2a5de15f87 of confiding, nor did 46ab797ef3 he foresee such a 135de3701b future. If he were 99628d47b3 to find out d55d509506 everything, he assumed d3e6144d43 it would be 0236bc6fa8 the worst-case scenario. It would be a ecce012472 difficult and trying time…. Just imagining it 3d04a99670 made him breathless.379e399a01810ec5

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“Oh dear, you were 56e4bc8436 sad. My precious child.”89be0ed276255835

Cheonghyeon laughed lowly, his cc13a4d2b0 throat vibrating. Hakyung felt like he 893c898cce was going crazy with 3c290c59ad joy, loving even that.f398bc7899e7e652

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The confession burst b7af90161b out unconsciously.4e4e45c92b3000ca

“I-I love you….”8ef34e2729e37289

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I love you so much it drives me crazy. You’re crazy for cherishing me so much. Why do you love someone like me? Someone like me, with no ability, no confidence, nothing worth looking at.e8c9c7a4f930c634

He must have been c26020a2b0 a person who shone 45c7385472 even in the gutter. His parents a4aaa39c0e were just b10ec49c14 the ones 80a09d9083 who discovered 5c48031a9a the hidden d3112608c0 starlight on b2def204ea the street f9a051a0aa a step 120c61640d earlier. Even without 795c177f98 them, Cheonghyeon 8f2d9bb6e7 would have 227fdd2e97 shone alone.0dc85e6eb4162bf7

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But I wasn’t. I was the trash that would be buried, camouflaged, if thrown into the gutter. Cheonghyeon found the dirty mud, gave it a name, and cherished it dearly.e32779446530cbe2

Because Cheonghyeon gave him the name ‘Hakyung,’ Hakyung could exist as Hakyung.07416d9b7964aa2c

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Suddenly, Hakyung realized why 143f3bc00b he manifested as his cd84ffdff5 guide. No, rather, he 1c875c0212 was late in fba8b82b2e awakening.254087ead62b0c08

‘Im Hakyung.’1e5ca533dd91e92c

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He had 46903eb14f been a 6bd23ba6a8 Guide leading 3b93f56bf2 his life ab52b8deee even before 449f961b1e awakening.55a75465898c2cca