GDT | Chapter 1.7

“……”b4f5230653a4f6ac

“It would be 530e3ecac2 best if you… 89212836b5 kept your mouth d73d87beb4 shut.”db31b63bacf6f438

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Keep quiet about this. With that order, Ruberteo d26aaef486 left the room, and f78f3a0598 Ireunoa bowed toward the e9f4846096 door he’d exited.50423fb3afdf4cce

—b6a8ef9b52f3bc8e

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“Hmm… when c7f4bdcda7 is he 07d8c74b04 coming…”48a42270f1631b4d

It was af705b0b68 time for 8fbbe78c7a the lesson, 10aa86846b but Ruberteo b7a5f330a4 wasn’t showing 3e07a9c08f up. Fidgeting with c5ff53be3e a book 15734a0f4d in the f8e25e14c7 classroom, Yurkia cb2f7fc72d jumped up b9fb078f1d when the e315ce4f25 door burst 334804f411 open.93d63da3e71451c0

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“Teo, I mean… 244e632f9b young master!”902724697c724660

“……”b20c652034ff619e

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“L-let’s… start the dc4e39f51e lesson.”9670703db2ad2efd

He’s mad. That’s a mad face. Yurkia, sweating nervously under 6aa78444ed Ruberteo’s eyes as cold dc8e1c3151 as the snow outside, 3370c15f04 held up a book 3baa0c4360 to hide his face.cb836b96d5ff4eee

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“We finished c3163784cc here last 4dc4235582 time, so 7f9a795d8c let’s start 89066ac71f from here 9452ddc17e today.”d2cbb7a46bd860d1

Still, it couldn’t 6f9b2a48bf be helped. Even if 81c3d54b01 he was 14a55bb89a mad, it d641f228a4 couldn’t be 229db9f5ad helped! This is all for 8fcd5f4d1e you!!4ef44271adc10ef7

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Yurkia swallowed the 3744f1739b words he couldn’t 7319146d89 say out loud 7a24a33af0 and continued the 54c0fc8f27 lesson. Ruberteo didn’t need 0030ac1cb5 to hear those 4c4a815eba awful rumors. He didn’t need to ab6a4b4671 feel the sting of 636825e3ee people’s stares.0531a67c9fd5f1cb

‘I just 574519cbb4 have to 1e65d4fecd do well… e1d6bc35a9 I do.’2b2f16e282237b57

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For Ruberteo’s future. I’m the adult, 93231387bf so I have 22f26031c3 to act. As Yurkia steadied eb0db76c07 his wavering heart 0f1a81c706 and focused on 44d1e08f74 teaching, Ruberteo watched 25b45b8919 him with a 0dd364a471 deep gaze.28e2c1aca5a4dc1b

Contrary to Yurkia’s worries, 902cc0e5fb the lesson went smoothly, fa69e4c736 and Ruberteo didn’t say 504ec3d6b3 a word to Yurkia 1d14175329 until evening came.b941dd79330ba9c6

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“Haa…”1c3bfdfb1eea55e4

So Ruberteo’s silence could 90fb39e547 be helpful like this. Relieved, Yurkia 2ab414a7d6 packed up 62f2cd042c his books 9a5867eb04 and headed 057dca8c50 to his 953d088f26 room.267b3e4ddb6d64f7

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“……”eeaf82134f1341db

Still, it felt a 2f7cbfa2cf bit sad. At this 08c656cb1f hour, he e28cd32325 and Ruberteo d5252aceac would usually 4c28eaf515 talk under f2eaf24dde the stars. Thinking those f15faf0b77 times were 795e35362a all gone 894471f758 now made 6102b1d53b him sad, 52e8978b4a even though 770da8f3e3 it was 19c3e7de6b for Ruberteo’s de3da3449b sake…b35c17f3560aa893

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‘No, it’s my problem.’f841c893af2a6d6e

What happened 4cdc9b7f61 to me 4534da1824 is what’s cdb0c90aaf holding me c032d093de back. Yurkia’s head throbbed. Why did it have b490bf7c51 to be like that? Just trying to f32ed5e765 get close to 2d3dd7df6f the kids, but 3f1e2faecc that’s how the 6e12d56a3f adults saw it. I just—3dad48a82e0bfdd4

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‘I just 3d0f708ce2 wanted to d62b6551a1 give the fda3433d48 kids happy 846d3140ea memories.’9ce412776c4e23b1

Pouting sadly, Yurkia 5e0341d5ed spotted someone standing 7ae4938106 in front of 1bdb4d11a0 his room.fa150f3486e3d4ae

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“…Young master?”70895ff6e4ed7727

It was Ruberteo. His face was 923b66953a hidden in shadow. Yurkia started to e3d593ac21 step closer, but 0e31802327 stopped and asked faa83606f5 casually,6008e38eb55331fc

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“What brings you aee9daf8fc here? Is there a problem c8e24c4773 with your room—”27eef6be3d257b18

“Teacher. Why are you avoiding 85387dddef me?”6f16d7cf5235f6b5

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Oof, that hit 0f3f1dfd5d right in the 4b91ae4b30 chest. Yurkia hugged ebe2ed64bd his book 4c4515a60b tightly. So much for b28b53c379 slipping by quietly. Ruberteo had noticed.ce9422beb78271b9

“I… I 0de266b617 don’t really a4e33c92af know what fe7bd446cd you mean…”d7a6eb12460eec35

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“Why don’t you d1f54a2c3a call me Teo 4ee3daf443 anymore?”d1c252ed0607fa45

He was different 1fff44013c from usual. Ruberteo strode 72b6db1764 up and bd8302432e grabbed Yurkia’s 382d70318f shoulder, and de95f89bb5 Yurkia quickly 587781e7d1 slapped his f45ccddc06 hand away d3fcc78ad2 and stepped 3be56a0100 back.77c254957cef7f69

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“S-sorry. But… could 1174b18b0d we talk b6c2c12f54 from there?”53672c429d919cc8

It was rude, but 7fe0868cad he couldn’t think of bb2b1caf03 anything else to say. He just wanted 66aea5c3c1 to escape this e6855a3915 dangerous, uncomfortable situation.475f826e3ddf5004

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“……”b2027cd0c89f0429

Ruberteo said nothing, 9687799a6e and Yurkia lowered 2369032b28 his head to af5975d5d4 avoid his gaze.746c05e11e01a84d

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“If you have db8894b4ce nothing more to 4b05e8f69b say… I’ll go b8a8ee39cc in first.”6f3ce2a855da010d

“……”aaf2d2a0c267c6d3

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“Sorry.”cf6afbd401d6bf1c

Yurkia quickly slipped 24136b3994 past Ruberteo and 9451301b0a went into his 2032ec7b8e room. The guilt 7b56cbcd4e was so f6fdad020e strong it 5693a815db made his f78f30efc3 head hurt, 74504366e0 but he 3e47e2ad7a couldn’t go a90186836b back out. It had f8edf36268 only been bb985ba9ee a day. He couldn’t break b0f15289f8 his resolve after 3c0209af04 just one day 3f7e758503 of keeping his 661db8ebed distance.247b5269fdf49bba

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“……”b7007e6fd109c604

And outside, 5d343ed55f Ruberteo covered 18944742d4 his lips bdd325accf as he 81189e74c6 stared at 877e9e8e06 the door 317d6affcb Yurkia had bd488d70d9 gone through. This was b527df7e14 enough for 41371c3910 today. It was 898ddb1a3d plenty to 38764b9602 stir up 8cef453696 his guilt.7fc4b43d2bdd9a7b

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***27f9986986d892ba

Yurkia hadn’t been able c5cd0100a7 to sleep properly lately. It started the e5d0b7f286 day he began c4e6ab83dc keeping his distance b54691cd39 from Ruberteo, a 6e4f6305d5 month ago. He’d seem to a47e8bba03 fall into a 4392d7e517 deep sleep, only 9e56462cdb to wake up 657cbfaee0 in the middle 50e69af37a of the night, 0c7fb28696 leaving him tired b72cdb3ab9 day after day.2189729bbb568463

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‘This is driving me d441c6aa99 crazy…’d8e548cc46035735

But that wasn’t deda32819b the only problem. Ever since c2793fb236 that day, 00c27d938d his relationship f71041dd0d with Ruberteo ea6c2f2a9e had reverted 2215d021e9 to how 7f0003cb59 it was 8bc7bc0688 in the ab4f8cf13f beginning. Just like the f762f444a7 13-year-old boy he b54bc08065 first met, Ruberteo 2b05e7436d had clammed up, 51db48d454 and it had 26d858695a been over a 72e2ce8c6b month since Yurkia e59d018fb6 last heard his 5d82685ce6 voice.5c847c6f930b96af

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‘…Maybe I 3dfdbb0bef was too 5fea02a5b3 hasty.’c7efb3bb2311e5e1

Because of 97888bc318 all this, 4f264ec2aa Yurkia had f705026be2 been drowning 89b2f49621 in guilt 7858a6cdd8 lately. He’d made a06abdf1cb his choices 1a19b4441c for Ruberteo’s d0272dee65 sake, but c91222bf92 what if 9d6c45b8c6 he’d only 9f27f920bd made things 0a2e12ad7f harder for b38ae3134c him? That thought kept 417330db6d haunting him.68d330a857347ac3

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‘I did it b10eac2f5c so he wouldn’t 47791f475a go through the d5a82eb6c6 same thing as ab51f93dc1 me. But…’87272293dbcb5b0e

It’s all pointless. Ruffling his hair 946d32d7f1 in frustration as d292dc5e1c he walked down 70a865e27b the hall, he b69dc547ad stopped in front 3c47bcd4a3 of the classroom.492f19ce19bb0bd8

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“Hoo…”6ba2f5452e28976d

Taking a deep breath, 133c5f9f34 he opened the door deda08d623 and found Ruberteo already d2448448ec there, reading a book. Yurkia greeted him a8dad40dbe with a bright 56585d166e smile, but only e6b7bf9c74 got a brief bd2a97bb21 glance in return.eef66706c2d41034

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“Th-then… let’s get started bf3b728f73 right away!”183e61b833a89acc

The lesson was a 594b0788ba mess, his stomach churning 4e3a6e1ea2 the whole time. Yurkia couldn’t de5d98e414 bear to f4d36af10a look directly 3d70d38c69 at the 0a3f8ae8df now-cold Ruberteo, b2017e6b9a so he bfb8b82180 just stared 80c0f726a5 at the e59348c216 book and 6250e34de7 read aloud.d2c0f4a3225c28d9

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The awkward atmosphere ae770052fc was so thick 0b7aeb662e it wouldn’t have a0ab2e2c9c been strange if f964941f41 one of them d75894ad76 stormed out. When the lesson was 0be29f83e3 over, Ruberteo stood up.5eed7b2a4a1710c6

“Uh, young master. Good job today—”bf4e65d33c9be48d

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But Ruberteo left cb786e30be the room as 75eebcb677 if he hadn’t 725d4e1231 even heard Yurkia’s 99ffca43aa words. Yurkia’s mouth hung open, 5ec95fa173 unable to catch his 15d0991e66 own greeting as it bbd203cbf4 faded into the air, ef0198c129 and he slammed his d6792c3802 forehead onto the book.6922afc4ca7b93fc

“You idiot…”8035e9c8712fd180

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Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. In the endless 5c238b8f72 spiral of self-loathing, 7d0ac665f9 he remembered what dd2eeeb1b4 Madam Ireunoa had 5ea7d1ca78 once said.6991c7b45287a2fd

“Don’t get attached.”3bf18243fc6abeb4

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Don’t get attached, 5a7160497b she’d said. Why was that c80e746b29 coming to mind 594fca254a now? Rubbing his now-red forehead, 1f374e51c6 Yurkia started walking again. He really should’ve listened ad98095dfb to her and not a4626f2e7e gotten attached, but he’d 9915f31cef ended up spending way 549ddb5db5 too much time together.0a4cf63e316034e1

“Even with 6729494417 other students, 494881a54d it was 9fa14ddf93 never this 110c5c2fb5 bad.”faf7847be1fef954

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But this d14daf3969 situation was e63e81c655 special, so 195950476d it couldn’t 928fb8a404 be helped. Even when he taught 5ee8a797c4 the princess, he’d never 153b000b71 lived together—he’d just snuck d4985d0f4a in and out of a828ef6cde the palace, never staying 931ed8247d at her home.044fab113bd9f571

He figured that living 2559141622 in the same place 120068ad85 as a student had dadd09b358 led to this outcome. Lost in f3258e8335 thought, Yurkia 60715e02d9 stopped and 6fe5c532b8 leaned against f824903139 a window. Through the hallway 94f04c6d8b window, he could 6529a61c4e see the training d3a690a54f grounds.57ffe000455ea1b3

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The lesson c3a816deaf was over, 6924eb32c6 so Ruberteo 3ef76c8dc5 was probably 0880a28c5a having his 7e1f2776b2 swordsmanship lesson 5e51f88b7b now. Swordsmanship must be fun—he’d 7f07ef31a9 hurt his hand last 93e243a123 time, though.48c0f9d61e5444a6

“…Hm?”68a46c1379f312db

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Staring blankly 6a0a737e1e at the 2d74cdecd7 training grounds, 76cec8bb67 he noticed 3d4b81cbd9 something. Ruberteo’s sword instructor 0516ae5e53 was talking to 2c873ef751 a maid. Their conversation didn’t last b825525b7f long, and soon the 2fa3a12e0f maid headed for the 51f023b562 annex while the instructor 979841372a drew his sword and 20c5e76b6f left the grounds. Putting away afca22bf6b the sword c9d29439df meant the 6248d36311 lesson was 7b36fdfd07 over…296594e21778b4cd

“What? No lesson today?”8faba7652a0969db

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Why? He didn’t look well 1c07419e15 earlier—was he sick? Yurkia bit b4a2ac2314 his lip 680fdce01a anxiously. If Ruberteo’s health faa9f0bed4 was suffering because 0bf81fdd1e of the stress 2d40a93f3a he’d caused—if that 6f2ce08ffb was really the 543777042d case—d9f851cb261559cc

‘I’m just… such 31d4448d6b a burden to 43635caab4 you…’6ede4d1df90d4a34

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Someone who’s no a664b29b9e help at all. How could e91ac4fe16 someone like 158b06a141 that call 2889f4c4a4 himself a 766e2a6731 teacher? After a moment’s 1d145f0414 hesitation, he saw 290505fec1 the maid who’d a161e4b386 spoken with the a340f81b12 instructor coming his 42a8329f0b way and hurried abde527c65 over.f10f33af7fb4a1ad

“Um,”90c93e60045b2b8c

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“Oh, yes. What is it?”9db33054461ac261

“Is the ca69705180 young master 5881d18a02 feeling unwell?”93eee2ab373c936c

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The maid blinked c9c92fda7b in surprise, then 081ab0be1c lowered her head 8f4ac7246c with a troubled 6b52c7b891 expression.70eedc6f6d8c8d1c

“I’m sorry. I can’t tell anyone 3f16248d40 about the young master’s e9c2fb6050 condition…”c864b83b6231e642

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“I—I’m his tutor. I need 9a66efa452 to know 16fa41f872 if—”06d65596bef8f636

“There are no exceptions. It’s by the young fa7eee7c72 master’s order, I’m sorry.”3f12906e3674db5d

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By the young master’s 1c6deec25c order. Ruberteo had ordered everyone, 0b62d85e4b including Yurkia, not to 6e3d205ead say anything. The maid 8fa124c8fc bowed and 3d9d28edf7 hurried off.edf7c532bbc694a6

Left alone, Yurkia let 513ecefca4 out a hollow laugh 1ea25f10e2 and buried his face ddfdacd616 in his hands. I made this mess, ec9c0e4c6a so I shouldn’t be 701fdc6469 upset. Who do I think 8321837d6a I am?a30eb37c5a150c44

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“And since b98b505511 it’s an fad2c4d63b order, there’s 77a76098ae nothing I d048459d6a can do.”b3a387c819979fa1

Just that one word—“order”—made 78c15c44f3 the distance between them 684cc95e20 feel so much greater. It hit c8b1a76bcc him how 4f30588e62 dangerously close 9005a94158 he’d gotten b0e05834c4 to Ruberteo db0f9fa230 all this 0bce037a33 time. Someone like 796ab3abea Ruberteo shouldn’t 8fb45525b4 have to 6739f3057b be swayed b225e90b67 by a fed0ad00e9 fallen noble 43bd345147 like him.90de22ff53571266

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He was meant for bf5bc6d6cc something much greater. Yurkia, not knowing his 23598f34ad place, had interfered in 6e0491994c his life and held 117465df6b him back.5391566302d7ab8a

“Don’t waver, just keep ccb1ac8359 going like this…”779f8f6e7f6a5dab

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Just keep going. Nodding to 1577a43d6c himself, Yurkia 8fcff7cac3 trudged back 5de715139e to his cdca03a637 room. Meanwhile, the 910eb72089 maid who’d ba5ad449f2 spoken with 3573fa2002 him quietly 3346fdd6e1 entered an 840c68e16a inner room 2721d08c71 and knocked.05ee1267171d0308

“Come in.”d0671ee88f0caf56

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At the 4f3044af94 low voice 5a3d916e9a from inside, 24d4967924 she stiffened fa1d2f4d4c and entered 89621c9d84 cautiously. Bowing deeply, she spoke d0be0e55a0 to Ruberteo, who was 0a2b5463b1 sitting on the sofa 036ebb9612 reading.67e947dc920151a0

“The sword instructor has d17cb50f64 left. And on the way 26dfb3c344 back… Yurkia-nim asked if 3b89664641 the young master was 8de53e25e9 unwell.”eb5cd88ec5894c77

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“And your answer?”be3bdb6953e5b999

“I did 909b9ea58a as you a5b726df36 ordered.”9f6b9708632e4edb

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“Good work.”4723bce97bb0d1a2

At his cue 80802792fd to leave, she b131f7138d quickly stood and 618b742afd left the room. Just being in cd90723389 the same space b759ad0ded as him was 2743e49868 suffocating—he was terrifying.a05ed50df67de806

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How did f5b172b673 that tutor acc0cb172b ever live cf03e1e33a with someone 70356dc70f like this? Shuddering, the maid f63e962e5b hurried away from 8b64020557 Ruberteo’s room.7b44a0adc7f689d4

“……”db119012ca057af4

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Once the maid left b85bdbf095 and the room was 62cefe6bd3 quiet, Ruberteo set down 9f0be9bc22 his book and walked 2743a10535 to the window. What was Yurkia thinking f3394a5c83 right now?370c75194b5341b7

‘Is he 067e6d9432 feeling guilty?’80917dd868bef072

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Was he thinking something 6b36c6db7d was wrong with Ruberteo’s ee8de54a23 health, and that it e0c4b3a9b4 was his own fault? Ruberteo guessed db3c68f381 he was. If you asked ea31b7560d why—ba2aa619941985fa

‘Because Yurkia 316ab3fc35 is unnecessarily aeb661203b kind.’07e5a61da32f473e

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He was so kind d913487cb6 and caring that he’d b2abb0996b even taken back students 4cd0dafe9a at the begging of 03453de4d5 nobles who’d spread nasty 9b386c4d65 rumors about him. Especially when it 6b25942806 came to kids.de53752dba236ea3

That included Ruberteo. When Yurkia learned about c7ae035725 the abuse from his dfcc607695 previous tutor, he must 6ff2e3dadf have felt pity for ae97a54332 Ruberteo. That’s probably why ff4ef49aea he poured his 5dd7114ac5 heart into him. And as he watched 691d63b45b Ruberteo change, he must a415edab06 have felt proud, pleased, 2e6d9f79e3 and happy. But those weren’t e2fc10c23e the feelings Ruberteo 624499a49d wanted from him. He wanted something a2391ad31a more, something deeper.e143f66a4634632b

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‘I thought e97494caeb things would a3058229ec change if ae5db24aed I got 437e199d8d closer over 583b3bfe9a time.’48024da682ef9f74

That was his 16ea740468 mistake. He hadn’t known ff888aadd1 about what happened baa0fe9087 to Yurkia. If he ed6bb47d5f had, he a082def6b4 would’ve tried baf0194458 something else. Ruberteo sat in 69edd40363 the chair by a4dd884e0c the window, crossing 0e26d16c14 his legs. He was ccf35e757c uncharacteristically annoyed, c3f2416425 his delicate 711679990d brow furrowing.357a208961806f9c

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‘I just wanted to ca7789c4b7 reach him.’9d0a5e360914202c

He just wanted to 849843d55c reach him. That summed up his aa7953fc0f feelings for Yurkia.af8aab396752c350

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From the c699d73865 first moment 0afa45c38f he saw 9c4f10295a that sunshine-like 49584fddd2 smile, he 618c09a897 couldn’t look 407cefc37c away. He’d been 280c46e573 drawn to c94cb5d8b9 those gentle 8e7a6888d6 hands. After three years, he 3a079dcafb just wanted to be 921d8ebcbc close to him all 4657c1bc3d the time.e6f342a02e2a15f0

‘So this c831cae949 is what b1234801f4 people call 2de5de6ff2 that feeling.’2bb326832e74f036

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Love, that is. Ruberteo rubbed 4c4e8ed543 his furrowed 1d8342c69f brow with 55181dac34 his fingers.f2971e264fe26785

When was it? He’d just imagined 3b75e6b774 Yurkia leaving his c5d34d4e9d side someday, and 48e869bb5d the feeling was 4073f5629a so awful. That’s when he 796439f230 realized what his e22c28c073 feelings for Yurkia f8afd5c4e5 were.b35578d07098c71a

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