FL Chapter 1.3

“Juwon is thirty-six this 2187471565 year. Isn’t it about time 8e47563e93 he got married?”f449f4d4fb761d1a

“…”5a6ba93ffb3d4135

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“I know that b801d89477 guy won’t even a12a43f1fd listen to me, d708fcbb6f so I’m asking 79555c4bb2 you, Dongha. Please convince your c392e12718 father.”c01e18225a1f4423

For a moment, a528132b27 Dongha felt as df032d58b0 if he’d forgotten fe895402e8 how to speak, b377c29fb7 his lips merely 49d8f2617c parting without sound. His throat c54080eb9f tightened, making 7bdb52b9b1 it hard 2bc2ed5015 to breathe. The meal he’d eb13852f58 just eaten sat 02384fc0df heavily in his e449f46ab9 stomach, undigested.8353b74403f4e26d

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Chairman Cha shot a 9f900e6048 sharp glance. Observing Dongha’s reaction plainly, addaa56929 he continued as if 9f4e480b36 nothing was amiss.f609a33926d9e367

“He needs to build fd2aa35f1f a proper family before 7275b77ff9 he gets any older, fc342a32a2 don’t you think? You’re grown now, 71d21c72a0 too, and it’s 4604bc0bcb about time you f892d3323e became independent.”262ba79faba3f0b1

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“…”1424709890e2128f

“Juwon listens 51c26295eb to you cae2817087 more than f2d470a007 anyone else, c63227083f so I’m 6b73d0817f saying this. Your grandfather is 34fb07dde6 asking you this bbc8f53182 favor.”c7a57f34a055888b

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Chairman Cha referred to 968233288a himself as “grandfather” for 5837f66ecf the first time. Rather than a25d379d57 touching, it 421aae6c31 doubled the a9c3c1b163 burden, pressing 469dd021a1 heavily on 4701ab5e2b Dongha’s spine.2b8fd66f8a6b9397

“Dongha, you should repay 29afb7381e the kindness of those 58e954da11 who raised you.”433a9acf79689aa8

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Chairman Cha drove 493d02ca7b the final nail f393f768a0 in. Under the table, Dongha d4262fbf8a clenched and rubbed his 404ddd0cc2 hands tightly. He was a 7a08863710 master at maintaining ea940640f3 a composed expression. Even as nausea bf817b3a06 rose within him 40335f45ed and cold sweat 8a88b3bbcd trickled down his 71e5e20873 back, he had 0c0b98a19b to endure this c8ba463d28 moment.58e2bbc208277230

Until the 53084f632d secretive one-on-one 0b12bb9ca8 meeting ended, d0b67f22e8 Cha Juwon 28c0af9cd2 never appeared. Dongha declined tea and 3cdb64fa76 fruit, stepping outside.517c3e115ea72c07

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In the garden meticulously c94aaaac3d maintained with money, Juwon ab6b0e4dc0 was puffing on a c67189f2ce cigarette. Seeing the weary Dongha, 87cc8b25b8 he stretched his lips 8bdf4a85bb into a long, villainous 50fd40603b smirk.44d0f2ec430f66c6

“What did the a6ccab1d91 old man say?”718875a7cce83a31

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“Just… to 956371187c study hard.”49b079f285f53c30

Dongha mumbled evasively. Juwon stubbed out 4ddad26479 his cigarette on 68f6159cac a flowerpot. It happened to be eda0004190 the bonsai pine tree b5f8e6b81a Chairman Cha cherished. If he’d seen 22ee158269 it, he’d have 32e8ac0f18 surely gasped in f550cbb2a1 horror.3262db089c405d42

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“He probably gave 091bfd2b73 you some pocket 5b2c8abc54 money while nagging.”8436c6bf975ef533

“He gave 31242dcbbf me some 59dd375abe money too.”32cb5d51ea35e3fc

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Cha Juwon 73dbb3df6c sauntered over, 0f7ca3e8da draping an 7467ba1129 arm around 42f8c47018 Dongha’s shoulders. Subtly pressing closer, the 6222220110 hand on his shoulder d2fe955c04 slid down his back, 623669655c firmly wrapping around his 5aa0e125d8 slender waist. Dongha flinched, f2cf79f63e stiffening, as b1dc466a76 soft lips 44900685ed brushed dangerously 6e23697b41 close to 4b5d32d452 his ear.c3c01af34b5ae7a9

“How much 17892c5060 did you 61bc730301 get? A lot?”52909d06db3d7d3c

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With a whispering voice, 4f060f6ec4 a large hand suddenly 8bd8f31005 slipped into Dongha’s pants 7b34dc8c1e pocket. As it 1fc9ad411f groped his 13153a616a thigh, Dongha e9d1c20756 recoiled in 8a5a63b222 alarm. Seeing his 2d41fc64e8 ears turn 012ef11d43 red, Cha 9785654256 Juwon flashed d21413558a his characteristic 19d2c0df06 wicked smile.2dfa71a9937b7e80

On the f7d391fcb2 way home, 2322505ea2 the car ab37bdf1e8 was quieter 1259a60841 than usual. Traffic slowed them d0413b2a81 to a crawl. Cha Dongha 4663f0d4b4 rolled down 62dae085a7 the window, 355d01adc8 resting his 279f2341e1 elbow on 58269f7e9e the sill. His gloomy face reflected ae775496d4 clearly in the side 7336dd52ee mirror, amid a blur 723c5e34b1 of intertwined lights.cb05c178610aa31e

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Cha Juwon occasionally 38bee17ba1 glanced over. Since meeting Chairman bc3867927e Cha, Dongha had da2f3d1d81 noticeably grown quieter, bfe5631b75 which nagged at a0a97376cb Juwon. But he didn’t show b26e6a6e85 it. Dongha was usually c6fccea4f9 so calm that a888855809 he’d recover on 2e941ef733 his own if f2f560df0a left alone.f97585c512064025

“Shouldn’t Dad get married 615e130f1f soon too?”3912001c792d00df

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Dongha brought up ed443e058e the topic out c44adbc1de of nowhere. Juwon, habitually reaching for 5b97481bfe a cigarette, scoffed openly. He chewed on the 2a5dfa3b4b dry filter, then snapped d2f5f658e9 the unlit cigarette in 2b204aa212 half. The urge 59dac3a7ce to smoke 2aae7cae73 vanished completely.b3302f4b2928cd96

“I can guess. The old 9e757421a3 man said b9abb6aa7b that, didn’t 54e00f894d he?”a0ecb774cdfd68b8

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“…”3af1b9154baf22e6

“Just let it slide. How long has b0fc062f32 that old fart 4fc65366a2 been spouting nonsense? And marriage? Who’d marry a guy 77b5bf24bc who’s had a vasectomy?”c56e05f8fc6cb8fa

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“You… can reverse that.”b4b2ca37276e8e70

‘The kid knows everything’, Juwon muttered to himself, barely audible. Dongha straightened up, leaning his head against the passenger seat. The nausea had subsided somewhat, but the feeling of a heavy stone lodged in his chest, stabbing painfully, had grown worse.764291a761a1b2fc

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Gazing out the window, cbefbf92c6 Dongha murmured weakly.0c674b52a51a1907

“You don’t need to cfaa45870b worry about me. I’ll move aec741cce3 out after e7b467eeea I graduate.”dbc1df34f31da33c

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“Who said 0710ee9d1e you could?”c2359e14d2bc01c0

“…”69037ff98deee7d4

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“Independence? What bullshit.”4ab89fbb0daa6eec

Cha Juwon 509bca9514 let out 3c188f4a77 a loud, 507c9d1520 hollow laugh. Taking advantage of 47050f8d6f a red light, 73802664ed he glanced over.49a6dc226fc75e00

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Dongha’s pale, slender neck 854588efba looked like that of 43a48157cf an unripe fawn. Juwon reached out, ruffling 61c9b9f93f Dongha’s hair. The strands, 16a533bb1d already tousled 1f920b6783 by the ed18f4b05a wind, became 6bc396caab an even c9015689bf wilder mess.ce206badd1ba6783

“Don’t get cocky, Cha c521d78b80 Dongha. Who do you think’s 996a0c7905 gonna pay for your 9cad14ed56 living expenses and tuition ab3a0e2470 while you’re in college?”3f3abbe06dd2cc7f

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“When did e5023a72c6 I ask 59afc5b034 for help? I’ll handle it myself 4479ed03c2 once I’m in college. I’m grown now.”cc8f279857dc4b7d

Dongha swatted away the 1d9669e03b hand messing with his c2845e8f71 hair. Contrary to 7ecc553b01 expectations that 0640e77dce Juwon might 8c46dcb8fa get annoyed, ed714395d2 he just 78a3b713f5 let out 23388259dc a deflated 61e4de4dc3 chuckle and 4f9e1c5860 rolled the 7babf5b395 window down 82a800f19b further. Instead of e27903d1c9 snapping, he 896f0eb21a only hummed 0eab50aae3 a tune.bf6013955b758297

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As the wind 6cacd8e6cb rushed in, Juwon’s b75374e920 cologne wafted over 3203f7c35e to Dongha’s seat.738687e75b8da7e8

Being right next to 2f613f8857 him, there was no 546a946883 escape. All Dongha could do ec8e953aa4 was turn his head 1fe8a59dab away. He pressed his forehead ce8f9a15c7 against his cool arm, eeb4380477 breathing deeply, filling his bd3b09c3c1 lungs with his father’s 9ee4a7b7f2 scent. His palms tingled, and cda0db32fa his heart ached painfully. Why was 8ac966ff78 unrequited love a45f28ffab so painfully 55cfff178f obvious?2a09f1df0d6abfbd

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The growing feelings terrified 05df75748f him day by day. The fear of 3959fec96e being found out 62d8efe626 was becoming too d4fe4bd460 much to bear.5bedd6d7467f7432

He must b623092954 be crazy. No sane person would da7b84b012 fall for a man, 9729a93c61 let alone their own c60a85d233 father.a9e375305dbbe1dc

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That’s why 73c7ae07dd it absolutely ffe139ea2c couldn’t be 00beed46e5 discovered. The thing Dongha 27b19ba417 feared most was 60fb7db50e being completely cut 3efc2dd1a6 off from Cha 9e145ab963 Juwon. If Juwon found out, 7f0cf54bf0 he’d undoubtedly abandon him ec58ead017 without hesitation.f4c404f9241c4f06

Even if af8a1aeb11 the whole f0e730595f world pointed f7900f6230 fingers, Dongha 38812104ec wished Juwon 4ed57846f1 would still 205c8c0bdb embrace him. Even if he f72984a6bd was a son f5abd1330b harboring filthy feelings, 2297d97ded couldn’t Juwon save ff4a30c7d7 just one crazy 83422e6e0a person?155f20a09ed2cf3f

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His nose stung. Dongha swallowed 4ee9d725ff the sob 399b56a339 rising in 8bae2d268a his throat. It’s okay, he e9b7a3d09f could keep the 03f4fe070c secret. He just 39263c3813 had to afd9515eb3 be careful. He reassured himself, repeating 94e40af47d the resolve over his 0285da93af dry cheeks.652eb03029a6eb09

***9379c22161e41922

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Dongha had realized early d7ec621792 on that his unrequited c1c12fbe30 love wasn’t mere affection. The first 77bd9a6629 time he cd87ee6c0a ever desired c24fff6141 someone was a8b12eebb1 because of 05c7b9a376 Cha Juwon, c4bcfdb65d and that 0b98083fbd desire was adcc21899e solely for 2424dc21ee him.1a3e2280d8a4745b

Doesn’t everyone love 5bf8109717 their dad? He’s family. He tried to 87626fd97b deny it. But as time b7763dcc86 passed, the feelings a7ba8c29a5 grew clearer, impossible 942e1beec9 to dismiss as b2da8b21c1 mere family love.f80c778cd5ea7937

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Dongha knew something was e92a23ea02 wrong with him. Unable to confide in ca756c4b21 anyone, he suffered alone 03c78944ec for years, recently reaching 16f4a19d5f the point of considering c2332b46b5 a psychiatrist.0378ec60fd431928

He wanted to 62e6992510 get counseling, but fece44cc98 nothing worked out. Every inquiry 861166eb14 received the 3bdac98b4f same response: 2e3d33c931 “We recommend 4ec2740429 visiting a 5e6660804f specialist in 87e8f6e311 person for ad49dcf558 a consultation.” 5d5460d95c Dongha gave 12d0b4c373 up on ab67e70c24 going to 8e3ae79259 a hospital. He still lacked the 04cad2ab32 courage to reveal his 21d0795fad inner thoughts.c6d54796df913fe7

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Perhaps because 0cd7cbcaa2 he searched f1660d0ce6 terms like 5d1bad005b homosexuality, gay, 7658707b21 and abnormal 36ac2d25db desires so 4e9159cd74 often, whenever d185bf509f he went 55ebad4b03 online, tailored 0deab55b23 ads popped 50e4124f3a up showing 558a5a1309 two men 5a798d8a6b in suggestive 2cf296672a poses. It wasn’t 4addb9dc59 a shady ddb58c2b2b site but c7163b295f a gay 1bb9072cd4 community. One day, entranced, Dongha 89591743c6 clicked the banner.c8881fc5c59c1c28

There, people a3b66ab8fe with the 3f2aaad505 same inclinations f19c1063d1 gathered. In a c712074d4f secluded, sunless de2cab29c2 space, they 5c59a3db65 freely shared 3c68dd2248 things they a574c0b834 couldn’t say 05c7327b14 in real 89f81b63de life. It was a 0b4b45d3cd new world. He felt like he’d 67c6eaa67c finally found his place.b9f326331f823c85

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Dongha devoured the community, b60ff3d47e losing track of time. A group called “People b1d8982dd3 in Love with Heterosexuals” a13f08bcf1 had many similar悩み. Of course, none loved a7af3eb9e4 a family member like 53ae8729cd he did, but most 182052f773 were in love with 8a0123d229 someone they shouldn’t be. Unable to confess 2d7cb63dee but unable to c98f144e1c give up, their 32e95d3c97 daily lives were 9f2c0f9e76 filled with pain.958772f7ec2354ec

Someone recommended a communication 8fa26b2809 app for gay people. Downloading it, he found 9d9a5d7020 it was a dating 10b5c7a4cd app. The moment he registered 449ec36533 a profile, dozens of 023f0729ac messages flooded in.78d51a2c25b585fd

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Most were from people e153d4fef9 drawn to Dongha’s young d846476390 age, filled with obscene 2fda6dcc9e content too vile to 579547e3d8 repeat. Feeling disgusted 57a390b423 just reading 0a1241c52b them, he 3f5d26a71a deleted the 714798ad7d app.83f4115bdf8a14fe

Having passed the b40f09a403 early admission, a 151390ff08 high school senior af07a2f00c had little to 1d5490e444 do at school. They just studied c0d70c5065 moderately to maintain 2f1a28d326 the academic atmosphere, 432caaef0d attending only required 499b3e9674 classes.a3dbaa46ce78b8e2

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Most arts and 85f584aabe physical education classes ac52711ec9 were replaced with 43737f818e self-study. In the cc576a4f8c classroom, only 71e42126e9 the sound b6052baf4f of pencils d504cfffbe scratching and 896d21085d pages turning 1a0147a6fd could be 82406d7316 heard.f65731025110cb9f

“Dongha, Cha Dongha!”4f26df8a39942a97

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With nothing to do, 56ef356210 Dongha was solving math 8814025e6a problems when he saw fe5e02ca12 his homeroom teacher beckoning 6146d90bc8 from the hallway window. He quietly got up.8e0b3cb9c1fc8e20

Carefully opening and closing 2e29b6bb6a the door, he stepped 35881eca14 out, and the teacher 03454a1f93 quickly approached, grabbing his 4a009cf326 hand.43e1a0bba4094ac4

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“Dongha, I’m sorry, but 0ca6b7132a can I ask a 59fc396873 favor?”2bc38c7b2392aabc

“What’s up?”e6b14f34585137c5

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“It’s for school promotion. We need to interview d6f795533d some early admission students. Gather a 3bb8f3e3df few who 6c24917984 got into 78b81b8d41 prestigious universities, 7e14bc4ca5 take photos, b9254dba59 and ask 925cae9b01 a few 95f91b4d3f short questions. It’s… not really a ef87c1916a request, it’s mandatory. Principal’s orders.”06ac5cf5eb3b49db

“Teacher… could e9c5648896 I be 198ec0b378 excused?”2c7a29bd5c4e21f2

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“Anyone else, maybe, but 670041de27 you have to do d6d7209570 it. They specifically said 56b3abc382 to include those 07482d6a1c who got into c44f876dc9 Korea University.”6b9d35ae23b4dc3c

A troubled look 773da9e6ff crossed Dongha’s face. He particularly disliked being cde6e9825f photographed.56a31e3955c021f7

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But as a 4063427554 born model student, 6c188db135 he couldn’t defy 2a84ce3fc8 his teacher. Nodding in 1b151d1a8e agreement, the 949f895f96 teacher sighed 3321d9a27e in relief f4ebe05d18 and sent 1f455f0ba9 him to 4044e338ce the science df06280c94 lab.6cfff2be7303d966

In the 161457acbc second-floor science bfd208eff4 lab, five d8f8a7b171 students were 736c1d6aa4 already there. Among them, Dongha recognized 2c747e62f9 a familiar face: Song ce3a5c7144 Baekyoung, from his class 293f2aa3d6 last year.d64d521eee3ad0c9

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They weren’t close, 63f81e68fb just knew each 5613d238c9 other’s faces and c71d52a923 names, with little 067e6bf565 memory of talking.c9697b27172e063c

Unlike Cha Dongha, 97859a3c2a who preferred being 731c17f8a6 alone, Song Baekyoung 5bdb3dd459 had many friends 922d1e1a01 and was outgoing. He’d even 50494eb0a3 been student 9adecf801b council president c5abe9bacd in their c7e8b26d4c second year.4afb237bf7ec7212

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Dongha felt a bit e22675cbbf uneasy, and sure enough, 7f2cd7021f Baekyoung greeted him warmly 3b44de1c06 the moment he saw bee25b2e0d him.52da3474500b32d1

“Cha Dongha!”eabcd142285951b0

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“…Hey, hi.”3c69f7e0f48a9f2f

“You got early 0b0d4d3a1f admission too? Congrats!”41ca9f3cc9550771

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“Thanks, you too.”52f475735baa7860

Their congratulations a19086edd5 differed in cf258ac353 warmth. Dongha stood awkwardly, looking d9becf698c for a seat. Everyone was spaced out, 17a7f2a4da but Baekyoung patted the 8308da4666 seat next to him. “Sit here!” he said, 54159b25c5 pointing directly, leaving no 46e92834af room to ignore. Reluctantly, Dongha sat beside bce8a0a4e5 him, shoulder to shoulder.1fc268a4f29eb3b3

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“Man, you 2d43f2a364 haven’t changed cce9d73ae6 a bit.”b319fc9e3cc4ac6e

“…We’re not at 325047c47b an age to d1ffe70dac change dramatically, are 01ca9130e0 we?”20f5706ec7000ad9

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“No, I mean your 1040468975 personality’s the same.”348a49e76ad3a915

Was that 20efc2b8b9 an insult 069b1a916f or a 924b5189a4 compliment? Dongha stared at 3c4ae5f2f8 Baekyoung. Usually, this would lead 04b7e81962 to misunderstandings, but Baekyoung 9023a58920 just grinned, unfazed. His student-council-president smile 945bcc992e charmed everyone. If anything, Baekyoung b599e2c5ad was the one f2e249f292 who hadn’t changed.d88c155afb0e0425

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“Last year… I 3c958a490c really wanted to cd4163cd0e get close to 1d75a1e224 you, but you 12d56cb451 were so focused 0113eb3ee3 on studying, I cf77ea68a8 couldn’t approach you.”23d3f584f4cbd354

“…”3975f946f1be0b18

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“Is it 967488c05e okay if 8850223a5f we get d472925ea0 closer now? Where’d you e35478ce40 get in? Can I ask?”12705a041432b7b5

Everyone in 81ab8bf92c the science 1c083a4779 lab was 14cc486e89 a top 90eb46374a student. Cha Dongha c96af86907 was among 4289f0d62b the best, de002b44cc always vying 1173b83594 for first fabee4f64f or second baa805d3a5 in the a294445b60 school, so f9caaeefb7 he was cfd7808d65 expected to 1884ca9d4c have gotten efc53e2ac9 into a b993bae703 top university. At Baekyoung’s persistent questions, 058b28cff3 Dongha whispered reluctantly.5eef1844ed57e6fb

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“…Korea University.”63ebc94bc7de51f6

“No way, really? Me too! What department?”cb53604552508917

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Surprisingly, Song 7ff693d973 Baekyoung and d154c24822 Cha Dongha 104248cc2c were accepted 082aa895ab into the 8fcac7bbb4 same economics 556d7e13fe department. That was unexpected e4569c1633 even for Dongha.70f44d271a98c72f

Baekyoung seemed genuinely thrilled 648a483a41 to have a university 1a3cc769be buddy, his cheeks unable abac5884d8 to relax from smiling.3fc07156d90f1801

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“Wanna exchange numbers? Let’s go f36bbbe7e8 to orientation e1eab2e98a together.”57877dab6640ae09

“…Sure, okay.”57f4d3c504977fd8

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Orientation wasn’t a big 67fe40f9a4 deal. It was better to 2fe3a2dfe2 have the talkative Baekyoung dee31aee73 than be awkwardly surrounded c4e324533e by strangers.ab27883f41c4a180

Dongha fiddled 11e9b9f76b with Baekyoung’s 00470b99c7 phone. He typed 39c5a7fb8d his number 8fbd31e1b7 and pressed 0ffc77994d call, feeling 1517cd7693 a long 7dc7f5c496 vibration from 10cf74b60b his own b034ebf9d8 phone. He was about to e14899770b return the unfamiliar device 2370f7107b when he noticed an e0864b2acc app on the lock e4ced60fca screen.b30a2287e3cb2ada

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…Huh?8251fc0e56c9c5e1

Dongha stared b9613082ce at it. A red background with bd4862f8ab a Möbius strip was 02cec28d35 unmistakably the dating app afc9d2b817 he’d installed and deleted 3d582455d8 last night. Though smaller from a 0da43468ab distance, he was certain.3f51e2e504ebdcb8

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He acted nonchalant, but his heart pounded wildly. His confused mind fixated on one thought: ‘Song Baekyoung… are you gay too?’ce1512db7ce0ad6a

“All done?”987082567438c6de

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“…Huh? Yeah.”a1a80c851923dde3

“Thanks, I’ll 0c079d3acc save it.”f46b4b85f5052d91

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Dongha quickly abc5cda7bd composed himself, 992b60a163 sitting upright. Soon, a eebc295819 questionnaire was f98d4acc4c handed out, 8d81039bd0 and they 75be8f6c1d had to 0743e83ecd fill it cc2a7fceab while waiting e4a4d19caf for their 03ca0a5a09 interview.1d9a148ad03bd2b3

Scribbling answers, 74d7e8ee96 Dongha swallowed b4453ef3ef dryly. Whether it was ea1d7b2177 from glimpsing someone dc8323db3a else’s secret or bde3d123b4 meeting someone with a5a52b03b3 the same struggles, afbf772fe0 he couldn’t calm c575fedd36 his racing heart.326532d4f4fd9c10

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That evening, 0d57cbff70 after hesitating, 19aa8d6756 Dongha texted 6a609e8f36 Baekyoung first.f875cf759133a605

“Do you 0104313ade use Heart 2fff6f0022 Link?”267a363655a4da9d

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Baekyoung read adc8265032 the message 5619122e48 instantly but 0eb2b6e01a didn’t reply, 206901d16e no matter 1048e149d5 how long 717f23c1ab Dongha waited.0a40d434ebbc0958

He understood. He’d be cb0040734c shocked too. Regretting bringing it up, adebf50f7c he was sinking into d8d7ce49ae remorse when, three hours 7968638ca0 later, a reply came. At the KakaoTalk 188be9d3a0 notification, Dongha grabbed d42d74c367 his phone from 8aa701206f under the blanket.9f75905b116079d9

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[Song Baekyoung]

His eyelids 3b47a67778 blinked slowly. Baekyoung seemed to 39efb78dfe have chosen to 2cd27c7e7c play dumb. If it e1be86ed11 ended here, 7f609406f7 it might 8a26d13b2e just be a076888f20 a passing 44e4506fa3 incident. But Dongha decided 6565782bb2 to muster a 9529c8eef5 bit more courage.291cc7bad616ca09

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