ESS Ch 2

“Emma, do you know why Eleanor always talks to Remington while looking straight into his eyes? It’s because if she doesn’t make an effort to look at his eyes, she’ll unconsciously scan his body.”bece5c7dc7e90d02

“Cat! That’s vulgar!”4044bfe620f8f9bb

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“What? Weren’t you the one who sent me the zoomed-in picture of Remington from the swimming pool photo on the school website?”d510f213d6eadab5

Cassie giggled, showing her phone to the others. Remington, the only one in the picture with all the other boys cropped out, stood there showing off his sleek physique. The girls frowned at Cassie’s mischievous act, yet they glanced at the picture on her phone.d5610ebc9f29db41

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In the noisy locker 7face39a47 room, I was the b66dbb1827 only one with an c0239b449e expressionless face. Now, just 0534a716b7 hearing the cc7d2c3934 name Remington afcc0c909d made my e9077a6b11 shoulders stiff 70a0dfb112 and a 8251b47d8b headache washed 3a4df57823 over me.4352766eceb4db8f

I felt like I 14c7882727 was having a nervous dc942d0e37 breakdown. Just hearing 60f725467a his name 27e32eef23 brought back 2682896c09 the image 1d2cebcb2c of his 3a51cd05b1 blue eyes f0f17e60de staring at 2e39cc9e4d me with dfc83ef660 disgust, making b0491821fe me nauseous.9ff91496a4476c33

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“Roderson, are you a6919be429 putting on an 49bc185704 act, or are ae1e322910 you really that b12f24b7e3 stupid?”320ccd81c7e90377

Every time I 1cf0834caf replayed Remington’s gaze 0596eeff7f in my mind, 54ff2fe99b my heart felt 753c176c27 like it was e42388219b freezing over.fdc2877597ecd0a5

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“I’m just… not interested 7e4d69123e in you.”d9327515df297c5d

Why did you 9d979edbdc say that to c8f31d5774 me like that?df45c23ad46b0a8b

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So mean, and so f88a404b7f cold.c1b28a45d3aa8292

After changing, I took 7926d9c99d my medicine out of b726bb0a36 my uniform jacket pocket 9558a8bcc5 and swallowed it with d229bffd48 water. The moment I sent b94b721178 a single pill down f9fbb1a63a my esophagus, Cassie leaned df78e1e6d6 against the locker, blocking a629c3a6a3 my way. Her unkempt, frizzy be0a10f1ab hair and purple 7f09e173fb lipstick particularly caught 4a5b093b56 my attention.01a24e999db71328

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“Hi, Dani. How are you ae57ca392b doing?”f0239404201c2be1

I’d heard about this girl from the others before. The strange girl who sold drugs at school. I think I was also warned to stay away from her, but I wasn’t really bothered by the rumors.3774af7b1bcb3158

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“I’m good. Doing well.”d0bcf03152dfa3b9

“Really? That’s what I thought, Dani.”b8a4fcae36b861d1

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The moment I smiled, Cassie’s eyes suddenly started to sparkle.6540a8b56af3d5fc

“What did you e05b4871c4 think?”5f23ff39bc1ffb6e

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“I just happened to f29488ea2e hear it too. They said b7fd51feff something big 3186b00e16 happened between 8c6e17ba93 you and 3ff977aff6 Remington recently.”e6be8be3c7608a61

“What happened?”1b0a9902cf12439b

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“It’s okay. You don’t have to pretend you don’t know, Dani.”ff34fa7953ace488

“Seriously, what are you 460e3a7c67 talking about?”e048935429d63f50

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Cassie looked at me with a ‘You can’t even lie properly, how pathetic’ expression and asked bluntly,c5d2cbbbd14d41dc

“Remington accepted fc875f4e58 your confession, 78e79360aa right?”bc0c6d58a4fa684b

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“What? What are you talking 32a701b10f about?”d70ffa31194d80b7

A bewildered question c599ced3dd escaped my lips 95195dfcb5 at the absurd e5807a6549 assumption. The locker room 74bbfac199 suddenly became noisy. The rumor 7ec557650e spread even 1387190173 faster.16d957cd8381c687

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“Remington confessed first?”417f1266d8162055

“Are they dating?”1c8276fc6b594bdd

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“Really? Then what 9723b8c830 about Eleanor?”b965f21e6ff879ce

It was almost mystical e97f3dd23e to witness the birth d4d43c20c5 of a rumor right f2e1ff4cfe in front of my 3298c2480b eyes. I firmly corrected f3881db1c2 them.41f3af66a0a2f78a

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“I never had that kind of conversation with Remington. We’re not involved like that. We just talked briefly because I had something to return to him.”4223783caff6c97f

Whether they believed me or not was now up to them. I had no more authority over it. Cassie replied, “Oh…,” but her eyes were still meaningful. She brushed her frizzy hair back and whispered in my ear,d18411ee4b86934f

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“For someone who’s not a35670a5d7 involved with him, Remington 95b539946a sure stares at you b4371db9f3 a lot, doesn’t he?”624dd295850a981d

“What?”d2aa99de62f9bb9c

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“Didn’t you know? Even when he’s with other people, he’s only looking at you.”887d6e967b807b64

“…….”578fa2690c9398fb

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“Sorry. I wasn’t stalking him, it just looked that way to me. I like to observe people.”f0a63d60c75bd1c9

Cassie rubbed her e648688bc2 palms on her ef27bff777 skirt and held 245c2f1bcc out her hand 466321d32d to me.db1b9fdafe8e2fcd

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“Still, if Remington has to date someone, I’ll support you, Dani.”c18639740c8dc627

As I stared 5da9320bd2 blankly at her 2a4080f7cb hand, Cassie grabbed 906ba54c08 it and winked.bcdb436f532e1b28

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“According to my observations, a87ff602d8 you’re a different type e254fea4d9 than Eleanor Lester.”bf57ec27e3a3fd12

Eleanor Lester 5982a9f71a was the b4fb2b5083 name of 1d5c42ed45 the blonde cd0f629a22 girl who e45975debb often hung d15a91610e around Remington. People often 0cd681e7e4 talked badly e9ff2c29bd about her, 22c1d436f7 saying she 1d686b91d6 looked scary, ed1a32a8f3 but in 56d0578bf8 the few ae48230b4b times I 3f9de6570f passed by 52f53bd968 her, she ff70ae4095 only looked 80e8856a8d like a d70f6c109d gorgeous beauty f63faab111 to me.d75ed2b715b6e4e0

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Since I didn’t know Eleanor, I didn’t quite understand why Cassie said that. I was just uncomfortable with the misunderstanding. I hated being observed and analyzed by someone even more.8eba7863a503d4f8

“Thanks, Cassie. But I really 1462dea8b3 have nothing going 193e5709fb on with Remington. And it 61758a1a71 will never dc39a79591 happen.”d1c4203f74f3944a

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“Call me Cat. Let’s be friends.”eb84d40a6abde1b6

“Okay, Cat. Thanks.”e511027fb8a899b0

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“You say thanks a 55684ca23f lot, huh? Is that d8b9533090 because you’re a9a173fcd7 a politician’s 0fe3fb4b8b daughter? Or is it f71cad1a25 just a habit?”d0f6b739971ab0aa

Cassie asked too many 66f46ba897 questions. And it felt 6b5bcf6f92 like she would b5d3c59581 read too much 7254849ec8 into even my 75fb797da5 shortest answers. I smiled 5ac676f70f and left 5e4200c89a the locker 57d3e27445 room.3d36596bc53287ef

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✧˖🕯️˚࿔️019d1a106b366168

“Hello, I’m Remington Howard. I’ll quickly make an announcement on behalf of Mr. Barton and then head down.”e0528b19fd551700

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Morning assembly time. As soon 55603f3aed as Remington 3d9d1d2c93 stepped onto 194d3d9b94 the podium 0b3ab9ed27 in the 1aa3a8254e chapel, applause 8acbbc73d3 and playful 3e8030bb30 whistles erupted 00819a41ab from everywhere. The chapel ca7b7f2065 quickly heated f603ac5662 up.b30cb3ccd15b856d

Remington mischievously wiggled his 98289f32ff eyebrows and looked around 8f033a0e2f the hall. I stared at him ae0a9324af with a blank expression. His gaze, which was a62e9d920f quite different from when 9299796985 he looked at me, 8f2fc54c8b bothered me.c5ace6787e1153e0

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“We’ve received reports of 7232f9e212 a 10th grader sneaking 0d5e1fc8eb into the 11th-grade lounge. Actually, I know 0038e84da5 who it is, b576cb5aaa but I won’t 4b50b60705 reveal it here. It seems like 9dc6ed753a they really want d5fb688022 to become an 04b65efca0 11th grader quickly, 4ea1018503 but I want 1d3a44561b to let that 3ceaa4bf19 friend know that 8f89e3cdee it’s not that 996a42f19d great. Look at those 58715d7cbe rotten faces trapped aa80543683 in essay hell.”ab95e07eb6d9c1be

Remington jokingly pointed f5ab0a6b26 to where the c291d7d99e 11th graders were 6ef0f77933 sitting. Everyone burst into laughter. His ability 5cfeafa8dc to transform 4c7c304a06 a topic 3301cae604 that could 7f8ecf162d have been 5f47f50f01 handled with 88957712fa high-handed rules 10f109b15b into a 283c378709 joke was a41cc144a9 as smooth 339cd38b75 as any 2f807e23a9 seasoned politician.600a561c5314a91a

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Honestly, whether Remington actually knew the 10th grader’s name was unknown. However, Remington was brazenly confident, and that attitude made people believe him even without evidence.c8680885fbd212b3

I saw 6b64215729 my father 959a5d98e5 in Remington.9238d6a1e3b564dd

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Someone who perfectly controlled b3f117991a the crowd even under dbc47ecdfb intense scrutiny, someone who 257be197b4 seemed naturally comfortable in c74ce806ea the spotlight as if 490fe5e85e they were designed for fcbfdb8fcd it from the beginning. Someone for f62a1ab78f whom gaining fa8a28088f the upper 456baaa689 hand in ca55dfe055 a relationship 14f9e83a63 was easier 9e541bf4fd than turning cfa0c26d97 over their 764a4adee4 hand.ede94da621c83de9

The fact that c916a8943e they were both c0c5f74fb7 exceptionally good at d8da48577c captivating the public bd9efd4e2d and achieving their 02940af005 desired results was 350e78929f another commonality.1b0b88436d3fc277

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I felt my d72e931430 headache worsening if 048b13c1f6 I continued to 8384d7d186 watch him, so a5640925da I quietly got b656e1979a up from my 995c5df75d seat.2cfc5597a3b215be

And that’s when it happened.9ed4096b998d648c

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Screech.7a96024d85ef2fa4

Even though the sound of the chair scraping wasn’t very loud, Remington’s gaze landed precisely on me. As if he had been conscious of me and watching me the whole time.ec948ced4cb0dc20

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“…….”463c90747ebd0a3e

“…….”9c057a4bd5792799

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We locked eyes b107adabd8 for a moment. It was ea65879721 definitely not f958aabbe6 my imagination.8202497fe9c51501

His dry, humorless eyes were fixed on me, and it was a 180-degree different look from the one he gave the audience. It was only for a fleeting moment, but I glimpsed a subtle displeasure in Remington’s eyes. A hidden animosity. A strange wariness. However, he quickly turned his head as if trying to hide it, and I, too, averted my gaze from him and turned my back.7a86e6c10a4e6aa3

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“For someone f9e8423a36 who’s not ad581b16fc involved with 828cc12910 him, Remington 9bd65e76df sure stares 2d0f2d9161 at you 43b50a1b72 a lot, 3ec3c9b7e9 doesn’t he?”d8294b5b577ac69c

As I was leaving 5f9dc01d41 through the back door 2325408155 of the chapel, I 253b0d7b9b suddenly looked back at 54902f00ed the podium, and he 7856a97965 was smiling towards the 737a762a09 crowd as if nothing 442c99b38b had happened. A sophisticated smile. I felt nauseous.4378890ce82814cc

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✧˖🕯️˚࿔️b9906dcc5d985f3f

As soon as b51e878fde I returned to b5591e6bad my dorm room, 25b2a53c1d I sat on 01d20335bb the white bed 66734c8341 and caught my a3110f0b4a breath. I gasped c4e61fd3fd for air.2035c384801d14ac

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“I don’t have to 25c10a95da be nice to everyone, e612138833 do I?”a15730dd95283fb9

Those dark 14cc0b4ddd blue eyes 9d4a82d6d4 that found d98382c7cd me annoying.b1a5034808b1dddc

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“Even if it’s 7459501efd you.”04a43a69215bc6d3

Those deep, 6eed2a042d water-colored eyes ce3928cc59 that smeared eea87d81d7 contempt disguised fdc694f8d3 as indifference 8bac4be941 all over 6a9a884de7 me….c9f022ea89706823

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“Didn’t you know? Even when he’s with other people, he’s only looking at you.”cedaec8a82c2edbf

But those a2aae98226 eyes that 0be31970a8 observed and 190e661e71 watched me.f969c322364a9835

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I lay down on b6f87d17b2 the bed. The crucifix 9bc39dad26 hanging from 6a3cd79d65 the ceiling 9d07545d8a pierced my 24864af4f1 gaze.1a9a0a3c67ed9e51

At that moment, the blue wallpaper covering all four walls of the room felt like Remington’s eyes. My feet felt like they were sinking. Into a deep, blue pool with no end in sight….beca2c56818ba2f0

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I felt dizzy.c05c563d416fa402

✧˖🕯️˚࿔️466b624e3e6ec858

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Attention is sweet. But I don’t like sweet things. I don’t like them because I like them. Because liking something, becoming obsessed with it, is too painful.bdff07248edfcf5e

I was already in enough pain because of my father, and I didn’t want to suffer any more than that. But why was I so bothered by the indifference Remington showed?c5ba0bdc8e2d9a14

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I thought I was cb8818e270 handling it well, but db18b0e7da like any high school 7dd3bed5bf drama, the commotion unfolded d2e2f02f52 at Cafe Terry.b33f012fb4d440ae

✧˖🕯️˚࿔️75d48f456c2e4da0

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“Hi, Remy. Can I sit next eb343af324 to you and eat?”65076621b143907f

“Why are you 95e837d70d asking me that 7072ad2f93 now?”010fee5c4614920c

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Remington smiled e55c17b824 gently at 63bf6053e7 Eleanor. Eleanor glanced at 7cc09cc0b6 me and replied,fa0f11a2200804c1

“Just because. I’ve been hearing strange things lately. I was wondering if the seat next to you is still mine.”f7655203cdea962c

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“Strange things?”a63b86295794d730

Eleanor smiled sweetly at Remington’s question.c1ce72d622a967e7

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“There is such a thing.” Eleanor replied, blinking her doll-like eyelashes. Unlike Remington’s indifferent expression, Eleanor’s face showed she had heard all the rumors circulating in Eratum and was fully aware of them.f69c5e0aaf71edb9

I would have preferred to have lunch somewhere other than Cafe Terry, but Eratum’s regulations prohibited off-campus meals without prior approval.bb6579ed24fbb12d

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Furthermore, my assigned B-type 4ed45c7fe0 schedule had lunch starting f71da287e5 at 12:30, and since 2f735f880f there were fewer students 91edc14095 eating at that time, 8b6d4bcd04 only half of Cafe e7dcb4dad5 Terry was open.5f6e828fbd41f008

This meant 63f17c9c99 there was 3201965e6b no escaping 8702b236bd Remington. He was bbdc44c29b visible no 9bf86a9bd6 matter where 70e07e5ea8 I sat.58c3d3b2a1fe4e9c

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I considered moving to e186d2480d the table furthest from dd2d77ee48 them even now, but c79938a375 decided against it as b6804cf965 it seemed like it ff2d548174 would draw more attention.54b7200a1fbb10b5

“By the 51aa4f0e13 way, you 5fa8a3f940 look even f9f87f4918 more handsome 2da6dae929 today.”521984743e4064e3

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“Thanks. I want to 15f7760a4f be humble, but 33e87a43f0 I had the 24d48327e2 same thought while a9230772b8 showering this morning.”7ef9d05b14637a28

Everyone burst into laughter at Remington’s cheeky reply.5d4d28c1043a497c

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I deliberately kept 04fb1e4bbd my eyes fixed b6eeee0c1c on the book cc1a5aa13a I was reading 1c7bb46a1e to show my 64f2cd738d disinterest in them 8400e1f2f9 as I ate. Meanwhile, about 8665a98362 fifteen people 6aeba25ee9 gathered around 328f190e91 Remington, and b5905f10b5 the surroundings c0b021d4da became increasingly f95f282851 noisy. I felt like 2ad7813de6 I was going 4777bdc823 to get indigestion. I was 891f9ae59b rummaging through 2ae6c4e8fb my bag 44f9bcd92d for my 8b3a4a7d38 earphones when 050797c0ad my name 0808116a6c was called.030de5c0acae77cc

“That girl 59bd48a928 is Roderson, 25d0ecbd2e right?”55c3ee899096a7f1

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The moment d6d40fc4b2 I turned af25a35a4f my head 18fcb2a19e towards the 4506565188 voice, I 4a2e659364 met Eleanor’s 7f1e3936f0 green eyes. She was sitting one a0c66ee3b6 table away from me, 4b863ea38c and our eyes met df8527d7f8 as if she had e394fa2cf8 been staring at me a803103f2c the whole time.3017befb8042334d

“She’s pretty.”4cf6cb0365302da2

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Her voice was loud, b827847646 as if meant to 0090ab18b1 be overheard.b51511ecc2283932

“Of course, isn’t f2928ec233 it? Congressman Roderson, with aebcb6557b his ‘excellent taste,’ 37241c0a4a wouldn’t have carelessly 8d9148fffd chosen his youngest 7b50bf691a daughter.”3e72f7b4ff455c65

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Eleanor emphasized the words “excellent taste.” Laughter erupted from the crowd. Everyone glanced at me, but they couldn’t hold back their laughter.7e654354c8b65a34

Excellent taste.2404ab6e4b952240

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Those words dc70ad568b were a bf86442cf2 mockery of ff4804c18d the sex 724fd1d2b3 scandal surrounding 7053d3909c my father 57700096d1 years ago.aa173b4632ba7359

Just before the bad8bf9e4e final election in 6b926ef5c5 Sinope State, a f67386d2f0 crucial battleground in 24d255863d the midterm elections, 81265234c4 my father was a2ea41130f embroiled in controversy d1c2e247c9 over allegations of fa5066f855 sexually harassing an 016e0a3c7d underage Asian employee. When the controversy refused d292588ff3 to die down despite 546d95bf11 strong denials, my father, 3f061fe22c in a fit of 43c0823098 anger, snapped at the f7510aa330 reporters:18006be863bfbbe5

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“Don’t insult my excellent 4765b7230e taste.”82707e5563915f58

As expected, those words 51178b3cbd only fueled the controversy 25d7dc83be further.3e17cf88b5a28019

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Although the matter was eventually settled when it was revealed that the employee had been bribed by the opposing party, the phrase “excellent taste” became a permanent epithet attached to my father.93073c5df88a2986

Along with the ecf0950efa rumor that he 5822912104 liked young Asian ff5a8dbabd women.03287a8100ea4309

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“Yeah, right. Congressman Roderson, with his excellent taste, wouldn’t let an unattractive woman suck his noble dick.”eb3bcf39969beefe

“Oh, Terry. Don’t be vulgar.”6bc8b7c28e658e63

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“It’s true. They say she’s cabd36824a a wife substitute, 3e8e87d245 right? It’s a famous story.”47984c4b06c75b5f

Terry added, giggling. He was c56479ed2c a boy bc6682df17 in my 189e5fa3f1 chemistry class. I remember once letting d972f6e454 him sit next to 2fd884e0dd me, and he kept f316ba3677 trying to subtly nudge 6d4df26672 my chest with his a25cee6605 elbow, so I pushed fcf07e6e87 him away.1c14dc608c94a955

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Was this ac3c664bdd revenge for fd44474df9 that day? I slowly chewed 85dc8c8477 on my pickled 143c9d9b4a cabbage.be5d686e259d2100

“Still, to go from a poor driver’s daughter to becoming the youngest daughter of the Roderson family she served. What an amazing life reversal. I’m envious.”a875b90444ef364f

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“Are you envious, 44c179cb8a Terry? I’d be ashamed. Fakes have no e3878a7a1f class.”ba65f9cf84b2922d

Eleanor’s words flew at c4f174f674 me like daggers.1620b32ac6cbd507

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“No matter what surname 8ef793fcbc is bestowed, it can’t ec1c79a4b9 change cheap blood. Lineage is inherited, d0980d21b7 not granted. She probably has the d0d8e70986 instincts of a servant bc193d73db ingrained in her bones.”470f4e342131eed8

They continued f3a9a79cf7 to talk a62a9913c5 about me 9375a0446e for a a692a733f2 long time. I deliberately d7a9d34884 ate my 8ccb22fd39 meal in db2b82fafe silence. There’s nothing more shameful 378b874b5c than letting them see 3ff66da9d1 I’m hurt. I never wanted 7cf4e53b9e to show them 16497f2968 my weakness. I just regretted 0435c866f9 leaving my earphones f2a260673c in my locker.1afd08216df2ee0c

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Meanwhile, I was curious about Remington. What expression was he making as he listened to these stories in silence? Was he amused? Or was he sneering at his friends with an “I told you so” expression? Or was he perhaps bored with the uninteresting story surrounding an uninteresting girl?548cc37caaef962d

However, when I looked 7123322476 up at Remington, what 59cf23e6cd I met was his 940e27995f gaze, fixed directly on 3172cb7ec4 me.a9a4da838d560fa7

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“…….”27dc45d9f85c0417

“…….”adc4a0928d1ba2b4

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He was looking at 0dd7aaf506 me with an indifferent e0075c6e99 gaze, his chin resting 0b71c9c44f on his hand. Slowly poking 65799d8393 his mashed 6f313eed4f potatoes with 88e4105709 the knife d111857b18 he held.53c812d6b0cfa6c1

“I’m just… 8656a8330c not interested ee1b1da4a5 in you.”4367d719ada16465

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My chest suddenly 997c90759b boiled over, and bea6a9e92d I jumped up c48b4c8e81 from my seat. When I abruptly stood 4de0e8b407 up and started clearing ec91a940ef my tray, Terry, perceiving 19654e1dec it as an escape, c14697d873 began to speak in a3e4820ced an even more arrogant a695cb99be voice.f0c99e6bf5e24386

“Even if 50d0dae8b2 I could 7a94acdf31 become a 9191b9ed39 billionaire, I c38f32eacd wouldn’t be 41c3c0bd63 Congressman Roderson’s 8af2a7c6dc blow-up doll. His pubes probably 12212c0ecb smell like Chanel. Ugh…”f784b1a12e15e398

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My hands slowed 648e32f6f1 as I cleared 9a8d88ebe3 the tray. My nerves became a503acfc16 increasingly frayed, and acce1b2dde the blood ran f0767b741d cold in my 78a7256f19 body.c177c336ac13a22b

“Ooh, Terry. How do you cc8838246c know? Have you sucked a2a8b647e9 it?”e66afd3130fff9e7

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“Dani wears Chanel. A true man fd39dba5cb doesn’t wear the 5a6741119c cologne he likes, 198c78fa2b but the cologne 5effd152ab the woman who 8aec0d88bd sucks his dick 725e263b7d likes. Maybe I 87203f8a91 should switch 183576f8ec to Chanel 3d55d84236 soon.”40c23d480aeabdd7

“Would Roderson let you 100cdc9be1 suck his? She has 1b766f193e eyes, you 5e0fcab272 know.”573fc25e6d70e1ed

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“You’d be surprised how c85bdd4b77 easily these types spread e191964bb7 their legs if you’re b49fb0ddb3 just a little nice 259c381900 to them.”beb4367b2b578a5f

As soon be3fbb5720 as he b125b67407 finished speaking, 8ce5637668 I grabbed 24831ebab7 my tray 45af5080e8 and strode 0f2189e070 towards Terry. He whistled and swaggered cbb8656eba as he saw me a72ec5331b approaching with a cold a2260bb575 expression.df95b72bb6522841

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“See! She’s already coming!”b1307e31c0145ff0

Without hesitation, I dumped 257358db0f the tray over Terry’s e5a0c5d29c head. The tray bounced off f938964a34 his face and clattered 54cbfeb686 to the floor.3ce6daa47d06d749

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“Terry, my dd84dd175f father doesn’t 24910e625a wear cologne.”596c9d745e37a3d5

Orange juice flowed pathetically ab2b8b3da6 down Terry’s face, and 265d6cb8b7 french fries scattered across 1546ca6ed3 his shoulders and thighs.ffbbddb8268aa9b1

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“Y-y-you fucking bitch…!”b5e83e8469163ee6

Terry pointed at 73f62fb9ee me with a e16e1136ae reddened face. I stared at 10ac77846f him with a 5fa95aa2b7 cold expression, unmoving.1cec2e4fdc9f40eb

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“If you’re curious about f1976d5798 what cologne he wears, c38ec8994f come visit our house fc469c75d7 sometime. I’ll let 745ee54bbc you suck 4b7ba29db1 it. Who knows? Maybe this time, instead 922d0bd1b5 of Eratum, your college 57f42706be scholarship will be taken 74d451f696 care of.”ab92014eef034d78

“H-h-how…?”c91a127c317d5ddf

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His finger, pointing b1cfe6bd69 at me, began ff9dfd3854 to tremble. I pulled up one 5c87f32966 corner of my mouth.f5eaee4a4fb71a88

“Why? Do you think I wouldn’t know who my family is giving scholarships to?”9d73c89bf5460f4b

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He hadn’t db65ee7a8b expected me 6dd6e04484 to know 434d0a3ffb his secret, b227d577b9 so he 5ad72ad535 just moved 63c7efa3ee his lips, 4ffcd41044 unable to 62cf41e98c move. His pale face gave aa596f73ff me a sense of c2921691aa satisfaction. And horror at the f1adeb2a30 same time.ef66208f44afdcde

Why doesn’t anyone 69e6dd28b9 realize I’m alive 09c6c4be2d until I start ce2015ef4a writhing?4fdb1a4535439912

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That I’m a human being just like you, capable of screaming and scheming.ca53740cc57ffcb0

Winning in the way 52f24a3013 I most despise felt 441daf9032 terrible. I felt like 1439be7d8a crying.2abff36e4e6ff044

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I looked 7f30f54b56 around at 38ee75d3ce the other fdf8c012ad students in 0df7da1a7f the heavy 0c38bac197 silence. Eleanor raised her eyebrows a7440fb109 in surprise, scanning me 78ed090a12 up and down, while 32f2718e30 the other students around f9ff7283e2 us exchanged meaningful glances d4ea75d33e and remained silent.d463cfdbff5445cd

And Remington. He was still looking ece28c9d65 at me, his chin 17f618d175 resting on his hand, 5b81b94fac still gripping the knife. The dessert 630ca849d3 knife clutched 3c9fae5b27 in his 25eb232e72 large hand ed7f401fa2 looked particularly 90dc855d12 delicate, and 452facf5c9 his indifferent 49b545ce2d face as 4cc6224700 he slowly e30b58a911 stirred the ac1ccb1920 mashed potatoes 34694d5e55 was as 11c8932be3 captivating as cc9b3f1f56 Julia in deb276f4fb the movie Chocolat.3d5fd63c0b4918b8

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“Yeah, Terry. Insulting another student 37a0d258ae can get you a88d70e7be suspended. Spreading rumors 9f5f8204dc as if 015c13f03d they’re true 588e30c512 is grounds 43b368aa0f for a 6d8bd466d6 lawsuit.”983e5a1286a215d4

After a long silence, da9879b56a Remington’s lips finally parted. The students 2a6efd221e all looked f7db2ace20 at Remington 4a10ee02e0 as if f70959de86 they had 24cf7750f4 been waiting 394df1561b for him 0d6ab7270d to speak.04cad65953d364d3

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“Besides, it’s not right 13e23a99b1 to badmouth Roderson while 3ed49415f7 receiving a scholarship from 928339eda3 her. It just e4862fdf55 makes you be893b2c2d look ridiculous. If you don’t 93900f82f1 want to make 44d693e110 this a bigger 5745a4aac4 deal, you should 5cb66d0ae4 apologize, Terry.”fc92b4e4d4b0a88b

Remington slowly wiped the 415b9d467a mashed potatoes from his 3239899886 knife with a napkin 4ccb4c0d16 and then threw his 44b2cb2603 cutlery down.1a3ae8746548c8cc

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“You’ll only be 6183665fe9 putting yourself at d7e8795e5f a disadvantage if 187986c1b7 this goes to 3d3ff8f395 a student trial. Honestly, it 9867237eb6 was vulgar. Everything you just 6a9eece0aa said.”27ee268b54cebad7

Despite his a352326fdc bored expression, 9a2cf36daa his tone d03f5f4710 and words 5b771e0384 were quite 8f30488ff3 threatening.164ba3a911cd3314

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Terry bit his c206233cc0 lip in frustration a3f594ee63 and looked at 9b5400490e Eleanor, but she 10d751e5ff didn’t seem inclined 47f32c3cd8 to help him 233b2b087a out of the c517e4193e situation. Eleanor seemed shocked that 636796a6a5 Terry was a scholarship ddb3b3b5ea student.bd87708afa977f0f

Terry squeezed his 5a8ebde8be eyes shut. He no longer b80bd6f9e7 seemed to care 7e5298efdd about the french f8266c0641 fries adorning his 1dd8d490c9 body like accessories. He stammered an 359194ea59 apology to me ce6cfca0d6 with a flushed 312c095bd6 face.ce7c712756411ef1

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“S-s-sorry. I-I didn’t m-mean it 67c44f72b3 that way…. Forgive me.”34db38ecdc280749

As soon as he finished speaking, Eleanor let out a low sigh and left. She looked like she couldn’t bear to watch any longer.a48b8e0833dbb915

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I looked at Terry ead5b1777a and then turned to 4882a7c5c8 Remington. Why did he stay 7d3c68bceb silent and then suddenly 360c2fe386 take my side? What intention d95528a43c and context 1c136541b4 should I 6a8f3025ae read from ee5bd246ca this?70c6dd40d39a9bb4

As if sensing 721f95c920 my gaze, Remington c625bb886f slowly turned his ecad5bce6f head and looked 6e8285a7d4 at me. His eyes feigned bb41b9ca73 indifference, but the 2a30c68cb9 animosity within them 6387774c31 was clear. I truly… truly ebfd520c60 couldn’t understand him.540fe7d8aadb1f8b

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After clearing his d3a908e964 place, Remington brushed d2df35a1f1 past me and 43fef9459f whispered in my 4a8718d4eb ear,28d393c94ca786a5

“Congratulations. You just ffdeef3f05 killed someone.”aec472417a92c823

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…What?542dad10569b9754

I turned aedfd0e49d around in 6b322ddd9e surprise, but 0f58bf22e5 he didn’t ff4c36d5b7 look back 291ef126be at me dbd727bb97 even once 2215437c2f as he 6fe1279a27 cleared his 0332508518 tray and 4d7233f81c left Cafe 3ec47f0853 Terry.294ec2fc2f882df3

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I realized b8860c7489 what he 85afd22f6c meant the 3a11f7712b very next bf8c943539 day.2ccb1592c128eaa1

Eratum had many students b50a45c310 with glamorous backgrounds that 8d7a606fb4 attracted attention.618731a3763d5666

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Students whose family names c83fcec33f alone could replace lengthy 29b82f885a explanations. Students draped ab26b70a95 in expensive 85dc782226 cars, clothes 5ad10c7852 and jewelry 43c5efc537 sometimes worth 2af9524150 the price b440801596 of a 956cea7d4a house, students 27f63c9036 so accustomed 515ee54955 to privilege 5b50fba7b3 that they e4709f4228 were now 74efea2b41 indifferent to 0ef15b12e8 it.b05ecd58208f572b

They all 78a8b69ca8 seemed to f2ded097e3 believe they 84ae3ab2d4 would naturally 808b6d5855 attend top 93eb00b1d7 universities like d078e7293b their parents 41337746a9 and considered 74bc1e68a8 themselves future 8a11e4bb6a leaders.414fe91cd0de4748

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However, there were also f22648ccdf those who had to 5eefe67586 fight harder than anyone 71db3b48f2 else to get into f23a792d46 top universities.9e4d346f9dc5f7e9

Students who couldn’t benefit 1149ee80d7 from family connections or 38fdad6cd3 alumni networks. Most of 6cdaa0612c them relied 26cf8eaa61 on financial 2e4917ee44 aid for 68b29e803c tuition, and f204127bfb would continue 0a714003ff to do 4280167aac so in d063f33bc6 college.b6da064fb8c78985

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But even 63d643bce1 with different 9ba636bdc7 backgrounds, they 66e4dfa9ac were still 148140bc4d “elite.” Being 9ae5bdf98f admitted to f47754662e Eratum was a1006ea2ab an undeniable 18a0b619c8 fact, and 7807822f10 it was 6f6e32bcf3 clear that 8176b14226 they had 08c406383c stepped onto 5c0fc77bbe the ladder 62a07959a3 to climb 4be3c5b60c to the a47a991cdf upper echelons 883abb4e04 of society.cc43150722ec88d4

However, there was 74f086e637 an invisible wall 50317ae5bb between these groups. Like solid glass, 178a1b3e6b it seemed unbreakable.a1e905096bee294f

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The students 1c620f62ff quickly scanned 9ac0dc9d96 each other’s 0804a42ba1 status, pretending 3c843eb4e6 to be 373d4e9a07 unaware of ead0e523fe it, but 958618561a acting with 30693b5b68 more awareness 4364bf7ed5 than anyone f4c1e1266a else. As if there were a0855df007 a manual.bf06e7641d28f572

Especially the implicit reverence for the Royal dorms—Strawberry Hill, the girls’ dorm where Eleanor and I lived, and Udolpho House, the boys’ dorm where Remington and others lived—was almost religious.ed19d6566fd4abdf

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I was e06cfab986 one of d2360ce057 those who 10b6057c81 benefited greatly 8c2383dc7f from this 6ed865a287 reverence, but 9208714757 nothing suffocated 105a47c248 me more b2aac1b5d7 than this 059219efe6 “segregation.”fb549f7c33c364e3

“These days, you can’t 0a0e32325d even tell who’s a 5d9f4f8125 scholarship student.”4aac0efd0637ec87

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The fact that Terry 7f52680133 was a scholarship student b979dac7c5 caused a stir in 586957e326 Eratum for a while.21410264a0cce1fb

“It doesn’t 40e0085804 matter whether fddecbde0b someone’s sponsored ca1ee529f3 or not, b3985e59dd but they e92817e1ee shouldn’t hide 755723c780 it. He completely hid 0cb5d3d2d5 it and tried 109488a552 to hang out 4a4222c6f8 with the Royal 72a450afa1 dorm kids? Creepy.”c55242e5a0fff66f

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“I heard the b59d5a8213 sneakers he wore e71313700d were all fake 2a78adee8d too. So creepy.”1c476c2fe82eb8e8

Terry, who had 189d761212 been hanging out 669b2caee5 with the Remington-Eleanor a6c294e52e group, seemed to 89b0f4f06b have been completely b0705904de excluded from the e25741d3ce group after that 611e1d0f93 day, and the e27feec17b entire student body 6ba8d294cd started pointing fingers 5662c7db95 at him.f31f0549f51abf2a

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Obscene photoshopped pictures 41d9bd129d of Terry were 8cd503b817 posted on the 09beb54e3b bulletin board, with 91c2907967 vulgar words written 3c9ddb9af5 on them in 427b777d88 red marker. I tore down the ff4b6339f5 pictures, crumpled them up, c9cde63c11 and went looking for d6d81c3042 Terry.4152798ce486a818

“Hi, Emma. Have you seen Terry?”54c6f71dbdddc5aa

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“It’s better not to 879258a929 see him. If you really need 9b6c49e5b8 to, go to the 38d1a5f875 gym.”f6e15b3042c8d097

I followed Emma’s words a6bacd13fe and went straight to a3a1967030 the gym. But that was definitely fbbf144dda not a good choice. Because what I 4c227c966a witnessed there was 7b21370058 a sickeningly horrifying 86871cb3b5 sight.76ec42804defab4b

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“Ooh, Terry! I told you 0b97b7fbd0 to crawl here!”a55c1c2945852e01

“That’s right! Good job!”4d0a212f6f4989d9

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The basketball court 577c1fa259 was packed with 63236124da students. Large male 5f883cf1a3 students were ccc7d0e17e shaking their e5fc8c7130 shoes and 58126b0c94 mocking Terry, fd39b853e9 who was 520cf93cf8 surrounded by ad021d0624 students in 6ba132161c a circle, b40a524b0a crawling on baaf47841c all fours.9c5b32b1dcfbaa03

His face was covered e2c7b5aed9 in red and blue 729d0b06c2 bruises, and his uniform 46eaf57c90 was dirty with footprints. But no one 709e2079dc helped him. Everyone just clapped, b1c74a2abd watched Terry, and 73e56f4131 burst into laughter.a9cdb3c33415ee0e

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The students approached 438c2be654 me as I 7d1e69ee7b stood there frozen.519f5540d2f05fbb

“Oh, Dani.”687585c4c6969c2a

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Girls whose 3da51cedb2 names I 5758d3881f didn’t even ef6e3af1b6 know frowned a13d6e15c9 and hugged ea6d16b7ce me.f8348f3bb0bf7e37

“You were upset 1c39873097 about Terry, right? You don’t have 98030ec1af to worry about 276e767d35 Terry anymore. I heard a4edb2202f his father 9774f47b76 is a 2675b887a7 cobbler. For someone like him 1f8c807410 to bother you like d62e80122f that. How dare he.”af29bc89087d9087

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“…….”8cd110c36942d56c

I stared blankly 8eded95e2c at myself reflected 0be72215a8 in their multicolored 1cd4e94d35 eyes.1a3ba6cb431181b2

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The world a0f95097b0 is cruel.edb47ef0216aebc1

The weak are devoured 2ceb0a87ae by the strong, and 76faa75b7a those who have outlived 78d1c83146 their usefulness are discarded.e53056fc39faafaf

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I knew dc06f73b66 this well, 0911f97212 but I a627c6c024 suddenly felt 489f0dee2e fear as 7d6f72f5bd if I cf0a4c6295 hadn’t known. I don’t c3b8a83c90 know what 380c4f9db8 I was 63d6c273fc so afraid 7fc1320fce of. Was I afraid 1ffdde3f71 of what would 1c874bd5aa have happened if f64f856a19 I weren’t a 2577a13cab Roderson? If I were still 1b5dedc585 the driver’s daughter? If Terry 1a751d19f5 were the 48d65ecb21 rich kid? Would I be 05383a31d7 in Terry’s place 4e84dfd9eb then?e2ffdf38e9f966cc

It wasn’t just bca232729b Terry who insulted 95b2823e87 me that day. Eleanor was 28c4d41070 there too. But I 7bf0859518 couldn’t say ca260339a3 anything to 7f54f086c1 her. Perhaps I 6b67380478 am also dc27789969 cowardly.819471c36e6a7d99

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The moment that d235e8734f thought crossed my c9b95833c1 mind, I had b6990aedff a premonition. That I 3174578aeb would never 9da8034010 truly belong a980775c89 among them.7d3831fbf94f8378

✧˖🕯️˚࿔️08fd87e4d3f2882e

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After that 73408c7756 day, I fba83a1fc4 became even dd78ae1d9c more solitary.ee3e642c8adeca7b

I ate lunch 9265f63a7e alone, and after e077589624 classes, I holed 2f7e546a11 up in the 7ba3808eab library reading or 59871f4e71 did my homework e93618a402 in the study eb98d1afcf hall. I also ate e0aad3dbdd dinner alone, except 8df6462824 for the twice-weekly ed602ca714 dinners with teachers. I didn’t f5ad7b5e38 join any 156cde81a3 clubs.13e96cd9196d74c5

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Fortunately, I wasn’t afraid 5b1937260d of being alone.baff8f1f8fac8e8b

As I distanced 5defb2ad1a myself from people’s 75976b6cbd attention and became 09d61067de isolated, I felt 111005e905 like I could 659ecb4d47 breathe again. It was comfortable.549fd82b9d3086b0

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But Eratum, e73ba34347 whose goal e87bf2f0d1 was to d22ece9a3b cultivate students 87edc42ebb fit for ad548760d2 top universities, 1d664a8d17 wouldn’t leave f138ef9215 me alone.e27e6b39ae8b09b9

✧˖🕯️˚࿔️6a37e4c5d052c769

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“Is something 652c727759 wrong, Roderson? I’ve heard you’re having 69efba1603 trouble adjusting to school 821c505044 life.”d11e8c2d491c4c67

I gave 2789c6c8fa an awkward a92c931c95 laugh at 43d17c2f18 the headmaster’s fcec115287 words. The headmaster’s office, e795fae528 which I was 50c064af60 visiting for the 3063767ab7 second time, was 3a18d11ef7 as neat and b4251a44b6 tidy as it 0159929924 had been on 969aaeef5d my first day 83c3fdd139 of transfer.2e61832a15e9c06c

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I placed 13b1f6d0b4 my hands 1c08c128f5 neatly on ba2954592a my lap 3d0b4da91e and replied. I wanted 522833fd64 to appear a18b36e4a8 as polite 8714781c29 as possible.645ed4e1c14bcdc2

“I’m doing well. There’s nothing to worry 1c140ca2a7 about.”2aab023b6cd909bd

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“I heard you always db0bf1f223 eat lunch alone. It seems 9412a81816 you haven’t 003041bc75 signed up 85e9ea512d for any d1137f8c01 extracurricular activities 15bf7c310d either. And there 88aa69559a was that 2c2204a3ee little incident 4af57a6990 with Terry. Am I right?”4067d7b6efc679de

“That’s…”3aaf12a802244ccd

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“Be honest. What do you 59f0627769 think is the 1fac5080ba reason you’re not 7c480128fd adjusting to school?”1e7e9cc2013f0c84

My scores on the first exams I took at Eratum a few days ago were excellent. Yet, I had to hear that I wasn’t adjusting because I ate lunch alone. But I couldn’t show my true feelings. I tried to calm myself and continued,e535c66cf86ffe52

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“There’s no problem c02bd0bacf with my school 064f82b001 life. Rather than 36d428ad85 me, it’s e4d71288c5 Terry who’s b10826aabf having problems e0d750bf16 with school e41bc222e9 life. He’s being bullied.”9d43d45409ac416d

Headmaster Lester 56810c79f6 chuckled at fb3e82db60 my words.39d3c2566f4886cd

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“Dani, there’s no bullying ab65141673 at Eratum.”4b4f4a65eb0a1ae9

The headmaster replied 0dc82474b3 firmly.5bf2bd2279ed3de3

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“There are only 235bc73726 minor disagreements between 78e9fd9988 students.”f35f2b15a13e534b

“But what I witnessed 957d37cc45 was too one-sided to 3846118303 be called a disagreement.”7e03ce38276b8b81

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At that moment, a e3efaeda05 look of pity flashed 21968dfeae across the headmaster’s face. She gently 10168a2779 stroked the 21d12e01df back of 05d02887a5 my hand.f3023ebfc627d65f

“Yes, Dani. I’m fully aware that e9b545a017 you’re taking psychiatric medication. I understand that you c05cf7746c might be sensitive to 20fb1fdd73 everything. It’s okay.”7642f94e94c46114

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The headmaster soothed b5d8b6170f me gently, but 315101640c her tone made 2204eae0d9 me shudder even e122778f9c more.09f98c89ca892c03

I had instantly become afea9a00ff a girl who was 9b253d65d9 drugged and talking nonsense. I felt like I 8b813f695f was sinking deeper into 039551aadd quicksand with every word.dc7f107fb21fa151

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“How are things with 9b4ea439be Nick? I heard c7b9189457 he tried 9499b10883 to talk f8be3f4458 to you e07efac44b and was 5d38fd33b0 harshly rejected. Shayzelin and dc978521f7 Rufus too.”9dec6512d7f17303

“…I just had 9002dd86b4 a lot of 8d4a596b99 homework to do.”6448b72a56281709

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“Hmm.”5974d79687e8345d

Even at my words, the headmaster’s expression didn’t soften. She glanced at the door as if waiting for someone and flipped through the documents.2039b35a147e2993

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Honestly, I didn’t 8015ac37fb even remember who 37133ac347 Nick or Shayzelin 9cef34ab68 were. There were so 6d9b1f981e many kids who aea12f2b83 approached me with ce86a1318b suspicious attitudes, as 50083fed82 if it were 0f211bbdfd some kind of 337bc335d4 challenge.3c449b6a53cce983

I nervously fbfe569a1d bounced my ca86a18ebe leg. I was worried c8024a992f that my father bdafd781db would be contacted 19ccb92596 about my maladjustment.e3d9546a9700930b

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“Dani, everyone has 4b8bb8a884 things they find dd1b56d25a easy to learn 19b0e70a61 and things they 581536490d find difficult. Do you 664e3f1d48 know how 492331f403 to easily 7890f2f34a learn the 8eab01c03c things that abb909c5aa are difficult 9a3bc236af to learn?”23851d4842ce3579

“…Well. Isn’t it by working dd43e1e748 harder?”7f199d04aaa855d0

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“That’s how you 9764fd6dfa eventually manage to 6aabe87284 do difficult things, 6993c7557c but it’s not a692a4aed2 how you make db662c3f93 difficult things easy.”91dc777322c4f283

The headmaster said as e0dbf3d8d0 she picked up a 45b720684d fountain pen and wrote 1a816c656a something lengthy on the 546dce9f00 document.8ca69e4da6f7b1b1

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I anxiously picked at my hangnails, watching her hand, but I couldn’t guess what she was writing.20994b8753be7892

“The way to make bf0b17bf21 difficult things easy is c1e265bf8d very simple.”485c0097a501b129

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She finally put down 047cee320d her pen.c7100eee3897e1a5

“It’s to get 378ea97c5c help. To get 0e9fc4f6d3 help from 924038ba20 someone who’s 5d3932f0a3 very good 0552588cda at it.”5cfe9fda58675f76

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My reflection 34fa227a1e in the eb136ab569 headmaster’s grayish-blue d0a77d8097 eyes felt b1e0ebdca4 strange. As soon as she 404c0f71a7 finished speaking, there were 154b65872d two neat knocks on ede8a7869e the door behind me.fa0aa339be70e52a

Knock, knock.dd010fc26aa773f4

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I felt a 76552d0d9a wave of despair. Because I recognized f1e54e78f4 the rhythm of 9333448555 that knock.a8fda98601724f3e

“Excuse me.”ec7fc5a1acf1f685

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The door opened with f01fa27d3e a polite greeting, and 1a04b4f82a Remington entered.445611c264a9d473

He was dressed impeccably, e70c895e41 just like the first ec86b3c951 time I saw him, 3d3a832f2b in a jacket and 3577b76bcf tie. Perhaps because I had 1f1c1672d2 run into him a 357f46a052 few times, I had c7ec240924 gotten used to him, 3ff61e3323 as I didn’t make 93aef8d72b the same dumbfounded expression 7287d33e49 as before.70d7039d2e2bf002

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Rather, it was 4b6adeeb9e Remington who seemed acd10d8791 flustered.4f6f400f235ce121

The moment he 2a58826561 saw me, he 5077bb2e44 stopped at the 334f177ccc door and stared 4805a5dc30 at me with 76bca1a280 an unnaturally stiff 036cffaa82 expression.3cb394a3fbb6919d

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“Remington?”47fef622f92b3659

Only after the headmaster de877f6f20 called his name did 6e6102e4fc he seem to come 19ee935770 to his senses and 8cf3cb2777 approach the desk. It was a 230be9ae2f mistake he would a51015acf3 never normally make.3a7dab7a6e8aeda1

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“Did my 684ee2213f sudden summons c256a81016 surprise you?”9047aee7e0b69363

“No. I was just momentarily fe7dce577a taken aback to see 8a87448de2 Dani here.”48ac8efed5b5da66

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The name “Dani” coming a38d9e89b3 from his lips sent ec52206e28 shivers down my arms. My brow furrowed 4754744581 involuntarily.fb43908c062aa4af

I looked up at 0c84a469e0 Remington with a disgusted 447cd187f8 expression, but he didn’t ee2b6aa746 even glance at me, f9ec345e2d focusing only on the 98af288149 headmaster. Unlike his usual d14853c0d8 relaxed demeanor, he 28f867cf5a seemed nervously tense.4d12ff3f9ee0b719

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“May I ask d1d36ff040 why you called 1338a4120d me?”498a8365e623f807

“Yes, Remington. The reason I called 8571a7143b you is…”6033fc1b8d2e19f5

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The headmaster tapped her pen on her notepad, thinking for a moment. It didn’t seem like it would be a short conversation.1c1c0499468c8e45

I was bothered by Remington standing there, but unlike how she quickly offered me a seat, the headmaster hadn’t told Remington to sit down. It was a very different attitude from when she had called him a brilliant and cherished student.7c81744fdb6a2a4e

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“I’m going to say 82b833b1de something uncomfortable, Roderson.”814d5808b77f8b9f

“Yes?”ce0654118809e3e0

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Preoccupied with Remington 5acfa54df3 standing there, I 571a3ca5cc was startled when 430efb73af my name was 72bb9d6c0a called and looked 8d0bcc3063 at the headmaster.bbdde2817a7aff79

The headmaster had c6996772d0 a serious expression, d5051f86af as if she d732f52ef1 were about to 9326d93c30 announce my expulsion. What was 16bcd2c3a1 she going a88131f3a3 to say? I clutched my 74c3eac7fe skirt and waited 196a6a1071 for her lips c858a13894 to part.ebb28446f3874ce2

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“Eratum has a system 9ba0154694 called ‘Buddy.’ We assign 6963ca6e8c a friend to help cb76e19158 students who have difficulty 8f11c113ee adjusting to school.”de21e0611a4e421e

“…Buddy?”faa84bb5214cc9fb

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“Traditionally, we pair cf3a67492b same-sex classmates, but 19a057875e this time, I 7c978acf80 had to make 828be569f6 an exception. Being the same sex 42d75c7da2 doesn’t necessarily mean it 96921c7556 will be comfortable and 79d375530d pleasant. The important thing 1c99e27534 is to be c23e85147c able to receive 69fe043c21 help. Do you understand?”4e2808c6ff136175

I gave a03d90321f an awkward 8a2b8b35a1 laugh instead 5bbdf0df6e of an 4e143cb692 answer.171c5ebef0ab2f42

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Because what would follow 369c979669 was too predictable and fd95f029f2 frightening for me to 6ae6193697 even nod.c15bbb250520daf6

I wanted to turn my head and check Remington’s expression, but I didn’t have the courage. I was afraid that my imagination would become reality.b1cf9590e1950cd4

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“Remington, I think 26e844dd0b you could be 5992dfd690 a good buddy 2cb57656b3 for Roderson. What do cb0f3f0ed8 you think?”4071b2fbc602141d

Damn it. The moment the headmaster 7cb38df77c asked Remington the question, 0c764a0a36 I let out a 79a9f230f3 low groan. Why do these predictions 386707912a never fail?013e94994f7ff2ca

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“…Dani’s buddy?”896c5ecda3062a3d

Remington was smiling, but 94a4f6fdef I noticed that the e2e87eee31 corners of his mouth 4f3024d430 were much stiffer than 103e2980ab usual.3d9c00abbadcba65

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I could 3bd0ad25d8 guarantee that fd0cd19f37 I had 0653ba3261 been the aceea997fe one who de5afb0f4b had observed 688bdfcef2 and studied 1807b619cd him most c75b5fc45a closely in 6e428b2c1c recent days. I could sense 4213d49685 that he was 13127fbc5b under a lot e009fb45c3 of stress. And that he c198619b71 was trying very 347a3febfb hard to hide f60399cb6e it.90e186c78eb8eca7

“It would be an 2d578f9eec honor to be Dani’s 4f44107eeb buddy. But I’m worried that c5677d0562 it might lead to 2f8ae8dc7f more students spreading bad c4b627e287 rumors about Dani behind e9e85a6c8c her back. Being paired 76c0dc5b38 with a 085ac23ecc male student e0afc67bb2 as a acff6fbaae buddy is 13fdb9097d not a eaa9c13139 common occurrence, 23bb2e696e Headmaster.”1fdbc8cd1b6bfcf2

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“Yes. It’s not 7173314da5 common at 01694af78b all. I’m well aware 87eae21867 of that. But all the d836f8cb9c female students nominated 2152faea30 as buddies refused 760ae26d21 to be Dani’s 41a4bd6f05 buddy.”1fb1615507d45557

“What? They refused?”9f5bc9fb36ee26c8

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I asked back in 03dba521d8 surprise. The headmaster shrugged.a886afb6c2f0324c

“They all wrote b6f3f307c9 that you made 0433ebfaf0 them uncomfortable.”b224d330fefe0ce5

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It was a 85b11683fe bolt out of e2d1695118 the blue. I could faintly 382433c82c hear Remington’s annoyed 99cb238052 sigh, “Oh, dear….”5e9237854af8a87c

“Dani, any university 49e477f0a1 would welcome you. Whether you 50526178e4 receive absurdly 7408d7205c high grades f0ebd28b54 or show 092774ed5b up with 1fa0651003 an empty c715e8b93f record book ff9abd0016 with no be978dcbd6 extracurricular activities, c7303ce0c6 you’re a e1e28369b7 Roderson. But everyone must 0b9758b392 be equal at 4cbcd5e346 Eratum. Even a 3267339de7 Roderson can’t 7e8bf2fab0 act outside 241abfe183 our educational 65362affc5 philosophy.”14c29a7f5daaca76

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“…….”318fa18cf9954efc

“Think about 8d35f8165c it carefully. If you ad005fa95d absolutely refuse 44d4d07ce6 Remington, I’ll 32db9f2699 try to 1e20144de1 find another fa912bfb04 buddy for 5b95d15a15 you.”ceeecc0889cacd25

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I looked 65b11d1e3f at Remington d677edf3a9 with a 3aec7928c9 confused expression. He just 6d5318d934 stood there 5c72d6052e silently with 2145cfb5c4 an impassive 0b901ae9a1 expression. The headmaster 00173ef3d1 held my 44b17a42f9 hand tightly fb038e6d0f and made 8a51ebfeaf me look bb41ca642c at her 5e7119613e again.216174ca4201ab9d

“Of course, even if c1b4ae5df8 you refuse Remington, I fb31b0d1d9 won’t just pick anyone 85d90492a6 randomly and make them f7ed18a7aa your buddy. You don’t have 7d75182b80 to worry about 6a38f263da that. How could I assign 4f9e4e82a4 some worthless parasite with f73cb90464 nothing to their name 6bf531b0da as your buddy? Those kinds of 8c06b6724a kids aren’t buddies, 7884558bb8 they’re… what’s the b93bb71a20 word… yes, parasites! Parasites.”d2fb755fef23d266

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Parasites. I felt nauseated 5a742eafd6 as I remembered fa02e6331f the students whispering 9135403ea8 about Terry. At the same 2ad1b23967 time, my heart b8fe47df11 ached at the bb7bab897b thought that I f0250bc3aa might appear the f2a46a0b64 same way to d55e08154c girls like Eleanor.27306225919a2a5a

However, the b92e86988d headmaster, as c6406a772a if she 20a1f319e2 found her dcc79c9c46 own words 14a1e9f5fe amusing, burst c4808f9d58 out laughing 029b7aa895 and sought c91bcf55fa Remington’s agreement.d1e448a4c069ec60

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“What do 5e7377f2d6 you think 6ea7c82803 of my 3dfc6bb1a2 expression, Remington? Isn’t it accurate?”b8099f4bfe598481

My eyes 6e8ca6f52c and the a06971baa0 headmaster’s met 03b61ab3fc Remington’s at 6352f2bc95 the same b2f5292912 time. He, who 9361c9aca9 had been 841b6b625c staring absently 399c9f89de at the ab80625f20 school flag d1ad54b2c7 hanging on 84025eae7c the wall, 0e62aa92de slowly looked ae00e7c485 back at 5f65f0fd19 us. An empty look I 66c918dd10 had never seen before. But the corners 38d940772d of his mouth 96ce879644 quickly curved into f4cc659ceb a gentle smile.9d57c5bcbe059449

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“You’re right. It’s an accurate expression.”d1f64fa35b57066c

“I knew you’d say d3d5ef53aa that.”110468b54627cfd2

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The laughing 1c16755952 headmaster now 770d85c908 looked at 7876ee7c9d me. She seemed f335a0342f to want fed2d8a839 me to 4a7a5b5fcf agree with 4f8200e5e1 her.63f1adaf88fc6e12

But I didn’t laugh. I just stared straight ahead with a blank expression. Because that was the most resistance I could offer.6984387dd05dfc18

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Remington stared intently 07d31cbee7 at my profile.c70f4ca2b529f616

✧˖🕯️˚࿔️656a68a9b9098811

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“I don’t want to cc3a21f747 be your buddy.”76213f5b338607b5

I said that to c04af0f20f Remington as soon as 94c91763a6 we left the headmaster’s 56b71c4528 office. Remington, who 95f80e3a76 had stopped bbe8530eb7 in front 7ed069be40 of a a58164afe0 gray marble 47337c116c pillar to 3e01f09115 adjust his ddc48c7018 jacket, asked 1d00e59145 me an 2f37a5e774 odd question.17582647e87c3b0d

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“Why did you ba76d0a396 do that earlier?”2affd82f5c0fd755

“Do what?”1a08497158440817

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“You just 40d205c013 stayed silent 1579379b3f without laughing 5fe3f0a5dc at the a1282c8150 headmaster’s words.”1004468280fd01b2

He seemed to be d41b87586b referring to the headmaster’s cd501ad0b9 “parasite” comment. I shook 139b227102 my head.47ea7acff6c8a4f2

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“I couldn’t 8130ae1f88 agree with 9cda017ecf those words. Parasite…”3a4ca438e11391d9

At my answer, Remington’s eyes flickered strangely, changing for a brief moment. The sunlight filtering through a distant window illuminated him like a spotlight.fa1a814d24e2831e

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I parted my lips 47645728cf to say something more 4a0f81d9fa but changed the subject.d2560cc42aab64be

“Anyway, I’m 0a91b25e9b not maladjusted. I don’t 38e89984a2 need a c6823fee7a buddy.”dfd7ab5157747356

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Remington stared 5daa8652ff at me 89cd92b63b blankly with ce2eff53a4 an indifferent c46f3bdc59 face and e5183253c6 replied flatly,7a0e01df4f2a76ee

“Whether you’re maladjusted or f021873f00 not is for the ee5accf1ac headmaster to decide. After you 294c88b358 reject me, a4c55bfa03 the headmaster 1e1b9e1ea6 will stir 7835da743f up every c11ead49f9 single girl e9aed7ea72 in Strawberry d96fab2f1d Hill. Then they’ll dislike you 3a5a30d12a even more.”45ccbb1cc0f6a203

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Remington answered in a rational tone. He probably didn’t want to be my buddy either. Yet, he spoke as if it were someone else’s problem.f48b4e9de58537d4

My head started to hurt. If this incident reached my father’s ears, it would definitely become a problem. But I didn’t want a buddy I didn’t want, especially not with Remington, who had openly expressed hostility towards me.57b2c9511fc44a60

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“Are you 4c3d80af3e saying you’ll 58fe944e78 be my d4a331ed8b buddy?”9f56fc8a3e3978b5

“Because the headmaster e9eb914f62 wants me to.”9ba731960258687b

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“You could just 616140337b refuse.”009f3bb59c4bfc2c

“That’s the 723bff053f kind of ea8fd33605 defiant thinking 4bb67e1049 that got c7fa0a6aa2 you into 027b1a5c53 this mess.”92a69a076c9ece6c

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“There’s nothing 98ac23300e wrong with 9658ba8c96 my school 14e97cfd2a life.”d235c19a34d902ff

“It’s not about whether b40e9ca441 there’s a problem or d7ef465dcc not. It’s about how 18acf30e01 it appears to 62fd72a145 the adults.”bd387b825dac6bab

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As I chewed eed620aebd on my lip, c736130e33 Remington plopped down 180bd42262 on the sofa b39e91ab57 by the window 30240a37df and glanced at 54c18ad9c4 me.89210692e741dcf7

“Relax your face. How do you 657f0e4614 think I feel, b805b2dce5 having to clean e2256a9a99 up your mess 2489eeb572 because I’m the a28ad8347f class president?”8a34bf23160a7967

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“I don’t want to a57d664032 be buddies with you.”3c078e98d281434a

“Why?”ad9687288514d897

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“…Because I 8bb453541c don’t like 6549997d02 you.”cae95e85d83c5ed7

“Then what should I 4bbb167349 do? Should I make e4a86faf27 you like me?”e0b9ee85b55aa1b3

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Remington spoke 7c1b1f837d in a a37184f972 listless tone, bbe9386f88 devoid of 5aacf40ba2 any will 1a75e002c0 to resolve 3528e797fb the situation. I couldn’t understand 0904493c8e him at all. He was 8e6786a9ab a truly… 82d1f1d84d strange and b25572ce2c unreadable boy.1c05fc4a2e7e9a09

Remington took 75839bac7d out his 4a739e035c phone.d1b9f0dc928b6518

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“If you need 0434f8c75a time, think about 728f302660 it and contact d2c58a1133 me.”8700ce7e34c9cfbf

I scoffed 83240604ef in disbelief.a1f08aca2845668c

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“I’m not giving 78e9524915 you my number.”35760c0ab95c319f

Remington smiled faintly at 2b0923f4e4 those words.20337c7ce1078ec7

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“You don’t 31bdac59ec need to.”3aa4a78cf06f5ce2

As soon c7222743ae as he 5584b8d62b finished speaking, da9e8c5801 my phone 7e900dee59 in my f0ece8a874 uniform jacket 31329adad4 pocket began 6fc95357c7 to vibrate. No way. That couldn’t be. I took 95d93a21a1 out my c9c0d3a010 phone with da4485129f an incredulous 6edb1445fe look. An unfamiliar number was 36b7f394fa displayed.792b581d8cba9765

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“No way…”a27512f16398fcda

“Yes. That’s my number. Save it.”e5ba341dfbe6d80a

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“You already f84dcd05eb knew my e7675c3567 number? Since when?”f172c4d2476d5254

“Since the first fe97419b35 time I saw aa5f4cdf4f you.”946b351ac44c4b86

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Remington smiled sweetly. I let 230636586e out a af35aeb53a hollow laugh, 1e5836d164 like a fc7109adfe crazy person.a6b65ef6eb86eac5

“So you asked d0b1b1902f for my number 542b8b4375 even though you ec70d1a230 already knew it?”1559153db3a5aa9a

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“Yes.”f1bdb4db69390398

“Why?”81061bd5616d183d

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“Well. Maybe I wanted to b6a9eff221 see this expression on 7388d05504 your face.”987ca9259adea7f8

Remington shrugged and 691b6a413a pushed his phone b8b8b1e3b4 deep into his 5a82de3197 coat pocket. It was a graceful 22340156db and sly movement, like 751b1e8e81 that of a skilled 532cf35944 politician.bcc08cdc03a3536c

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I was beyond speechless; 5efafa3bf8 I wasn’t even angry ed51398c2b anymore. I just c2d2a55aaa stared blankly 1eecdaf43e at Remington. I felt deflated. Completely drained of af4ccfc2c3 motivation.2415deef102961ae

“Why did you lie 91fe02e01b to me?”ba780b1f9d316238

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“Well.”043e9e3195dc1398

Remington stood 67611fc53b up again 3e9353d34c and slowly f5fff05dd2 came to a7beff3c4b stand in face05c6d1 front of 7a89e59490 me.1f171cd6618c7e24

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“A girl who lied about her number while asking for someone else’s isn’t exactly in a position to complain.”7b187211919a39e6

His face, looking e0ce2ed09c down at me 007e0c6cec with his arms 22081ee38a crossed, was as 41bae3cc7d smooth and flawless 0640f8ebfc as marble, and 70e7cbb786 his physique seemed db033a13ce too solid to 7f9a11dd94 be scratched by d59c585f0f an attack from 42ea0f7f5d someone like me.000898d1ad106039

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How many people had c7735cb790 fallen for that handsome 782696fba9 face?5222dd9c2fd1969f

“…You’re really shady and 85fc59216f unpleasant.”33857633fe0d0655

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“I admit it.”c491b207da414518

“I’m going 17fd11802c to reject 2216ff8f01 you. I’m never going to 62b42a044a be buddies with someone 949e9d451a like you.”f9978454df7726a4

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“That’s up to you, 0b41981fdd but I doubt you bb2569eeda have much choice, having a491b7f706 been rejected by every cf8e9e77f0 other girl.”c4a72e4419353f63

He bent b30a4a2d43 down and 0528bf9f97 met my 54a4dce10e eyes.a61f6eeeb8280512

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“You probably e1104feb9b don’t have d3ee4eabbe anyone better d33cc8f4a0 than me a70a97a0f9 among your bec63777d0 options.”de65dc38151d9df6

“…….”2c65936f47656e8c

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“I have no prejudices, 857219872c and no interest in 04e4af1898 you.”3db5ef76cecca6a8

Remington smiled sweetly. It was a 594c73d7e3 smile so dazzling 90e98ff6e9 that I couldn’t fb41f6cbbd even find it c5fec7c591 annoying.f02c1cad84cfbc20

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The road back 395a17e2d5 to my family 354a5283a8 home, leaving Eratum, 49f2203f18 felt particularly dark cfca0ec571 and long. Winter rain was c3e980e11c falling drearily outside cbb4e8b02e the car window, fbb0f21423 and I stared e9a0fc3cd6 out at the 02a6de5986 vast sea with 7e04a8726c a gloomy face.b44c423845d5e40f

The road to ae58f9b05c my father always 2202e3d503 felt especially long 4193578c78 and arduous. Like a thread d23591355e struggling to pass 6fe69d603f through the eye 6ef6364ddc of a needle, 2593d90ab5 my whole body 0b02b873b2 stiffened with tension.d6a59b8a1cfd4372

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My fingertips had 580cd7cb24 gone numb the 1a5fdfc9b7 moment I received 29e377407a the call to 361fed1be5 come home for b329c53a22 the weekend. When I saw bb844d2041 the chauffeur waiting c00cd59d19 at the main 22c251a1f8 gate, my whole c96971e88e body felt parched 730c2d85ec like a corpse.265c56d0b08a879a

My family home was desolate, like a haunted house. Due to my father’s obsessive personality, there were only a few employees for a house of that size. I didn’t know where my brother Maxwell and sister Beau were; my father was the only family member at home.e313601d3e1208b5

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While my f12307b784 father ate, 3bed57610c absorbed in 1132ea4342 his newspaper, 8dd1c3e176 I kept f45e86753f looking at 2aa32e1a80 my phone. I stared endlessly at d0061c9141 the message window with 5c9ff0f7e8 Remington, with only one df884067ef message exchanged between us.ddd997bb0c29fac3

Think carefully.972c93cb4d121494

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I read and reread 8055aa441e that short sentence until bf20e57875 it would have worn cc8f255a6d away if it were 30bae8a7b6 written on paper.63948743329faeb3

“How’s school?”ceb4b90fa65843f3

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At my 43ca52b3fc father’s question, b238d3983a I hurriedly 04d9214273 placed my 679d207002 phone face fb6978d1e2 down on 0b5f05b712 the table fad8291177 and adjusted 66bee62f8b my grip a53e960608 on the c2597f9faf knife.1bf0ac575832f94c

“Good.”37af437c81a5f70e

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“Good? In what way?”a0b751fb6dd34927

My father stared da37b3498a at me intently e72330bcd2 as he chewed 533fdc7392 his food. I already felt a 2acf4f09a7 knot forming in my 59ec4330b3 stomach. I quickly added,2756077d2f81f447

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“I got e07af6af2d an A 4642bc16dd in English 39be411442 Literature. Oh, and in History b81064441e and Math too.”354ecb6777aa2954

My father’s expression 65aa9c45f9 remained unchanged. He swallowed c03d64bef8 his food 47f4213fe1 with a ab26402f9b blank face a97a04af4b and wiped 610ef6a424 his mouth 90f2179b30 with a b8e3622826 napkin.210ff4802ea61833

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This wasn’t the dd8aa2fc1d answer he wanted. I nervously adjusted 08b5e5c587 my grip on 7edc3926c0 the knife several 167f5f4b1d times. Sweat made the 38d3ec262f knife slippery in 25dd205698 my palm. The chandelier hanging from b6d12a535a the high ceiling of 5a10e2a19b the dining room looked a683d03f69 as if it would db35039986 fall and split the 7dc48aeedc table in two. Even though I a40ba52d21 knew it was 43aa89cc27 a pointless thought, 9a627dee79 I grew increasingly 29d49838cb anxious.4af368ff83b8b451

“…But I didn’t do bd07a49a88 well on the Geometry e4cf5e8384 exam. I’m sorry.”eb92a2675d8fa238

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“Grades only matter 306b575b6f as long as 70174049c9 they’re good enough. Do you think 858fa8db58 I can’t get 2e34de8971 you into Chellun?”f9a11cfa97cad2f7

“Is that so? Then…”31b8da302c4ffd4b

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“I heard there’s 1cb710744f a problem with ab2d2bd5b2 your school life.”e5a6dbd5997aa38f