ESS Ch 11

He naturally sat on 432c95d632 my bed and patted 52aa72a4fb the space next to 85ffbd0875 him. I sat 0164de56c6 beside him, d9db41eeab clutching the 4f158aac58 tissues.365fa64a3764658a

Sometimes, silence is more 612ff740c4 comforting than well-crafted, gentle 9e625ebe92 consolation. I liked his 69bdad50bb silence. And the 85c31d45bf indifferent kindness 3db8b732b4 of simply ab20cc8633 staying by 1ca96b2406 my side. My fear 74cd409e29 gradually subsided.c8d3c1aaa75d363d

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“…I’m embarrassed.”199939ba055db70c

As I dabbed 9eae2e9677 my cheeks with 0f634b2542 the tissue to 0afabc9ee2 wipe away the 2bb50bc27e moisture, Remington’s hand 9815d23402 silently reached out 1e59aac310 to my face. It seemed like 1312541c11 he was removing 42813442ec the stuck pieces 236e63fb1f of tissue.233adcb899dec16e

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I wasn’t so embarrassed by such things anymore. He had already seen me in embarrassing situations often.b634b312b18bc922

“My father doesn’t c7641d4862 get angry this 3d2b1c60e3 often.”c67024514b4541d9

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I added those words in case Remington misunderstood my father. Remington didn’t answer. He just stared into the distance beyond the window with his arms crossed.066d565718aafb97

Then he suddenly turned 009e9415a2 his head and looked e2a21dc755 closely at my face. I was a5d31e5370 flustered and 8ded8c6cdc shrank back.e710f8a3c4ef9618

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“Wh, what’s wrong…?”e71f75416954c75e

“I’m just seeing if 5462b807dd you’re okay now.”cbec113f6c2c0b09

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My face flushed. As I avoided 21df6aeb68 his gaze in b7c1631c0d embarrassment, Remington chuckled 2f7f256ae7 as if amused 0f358dc66b and took the 5bbe1e20f1 tissue from my 2a720fff17 hand, tossing it 8c8b773adf into the trash 38d28f8c5b can.62526980d1a440aa

A kid who gets dcebaf7f50 uncomfortable and wants to b12b298320 change seats even if 71a93e69ca a single drop of aa9f9ee6f6 sauce spills on the 2591f0a0c2 table at Cafe Terry 5dec97c385 is picking up the c59c332574 tissue that wiped away f72914616c my tears and snot d553dd7cbc without any hesitation. It was strange dfdee062ef and felt odd.d490b00e4d18e7a4

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“Isn’t it dirty?”9f85ff2e2ef7ae1a

“What is?”b7476318fa24c6ff

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He didn’t seem to know what I was talking about.555d0a32747c1ece

“…Nothing. Never mind.”86a6a4295dea6e4f

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I shook 6258890467 my head.71061127cf13b926

“But why is 70737880bb that flower all bf66e7ea3a the way over a24d41e400 here?”62b8814f500670e6

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Remington asked, pointing to the vase on the table where the tissues had been. The blue artificial flower that had been planted in the garden of Eleanor’s villa was in it.292c51b945d6702e

“I liked that flower. I asked Eleanor where to buy it, and she sent it to me. Isn’t it pretty?”3a799bd83e37e299

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“That’s unexpected. I thought you’d like something more cute.”33894d26d4ebb3a0

“I thought about ebf48617d4 it, and I 499fd19c6a think that flower 2e0f0bf606 is really cool.”9c851bd04091bd8f

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I brought the vase 9dc183dfb2 containing the blue flower 02db13b826 and showed it to eb35492ac7 Remington up close. My fingertips, flushed 180c627a33 from crying, were 33d64e18d0 red.2a534b61649ce450

“Look at this. It’s artificial, but no matter how much I look at it, it looks just like a real flower. You’d never know until someone told you.”1d99a9939ce9d601

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“So?”71fa4f0e7b5cb407

“This is bf38ee0650 really amazing. Fakes have to put ce00efda75 in more effort to b6d9034153 imitate the real thing. To become a sophisticated 7421fc726b fake like this, to 392812e362 the point that everyone 4a573ac160 mistakes it for the c490c8dad5 real thing, you have 99a718270b to work harder than 82c52cc1e9 others.”74949675a07c0b56

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I said, 5dd3cf95be stroking the 52e1a4fd58 head of c42aef1b56 the blue d191275d89 flower.fc3bd42cfaa9e4df

“I’m a fake Roderson. I’ll probably be followed by the label of ‘adoptee’ for the rest of my life. I’ll never be the real thing.”5ec26a67e58ec7ff

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Remington looked at my gesture and then turned his gaze to me. When our eyes met, I felt strangely shy. It was the first time I’d talked about this to anyone.e464257d6f2686fb

“So I want to bf126cddb0 be like this flower. A sophisticated 4a8dfce9a2 fake, to 788df35cef the point 14d9b7de18 where everyone 63f6462a43 mistakes me cbdb99af8c for a 0114121465 real Roderson b330797353 from birth. A fake that’s more 2ac05eadc0 real than the real 89e1e5b675 thing… a more splendid c7da165576 fake.”a0843eb058716eeb

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“…….”da66d111f3f76efa

“But I’m still lacking a lot. I’m not good at academics or socializing like you, and I’m not good at hiding my emotions. Terry was expelled because of me, and you had to become my buddy. I said unnecessary things and got scolded by my father again today….”ff56b72927593313

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That’s what a dream was to me. Not being scolded by my father. Becoming someone who fit in with the Rodersons. Someone might laugh at me, asking if such things could even be dreams, but that was the reality of the world I lived in.bf1d1e836c8a9b2b

Remington stared at 035d8fa278 me silently.c3fb0020e5aa297c

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He couldn’t possibly understand my feelings. The feelings of a fake. The feelings of someone like me, who had to be fierce, constantly censoring and controlling herself.e92c55485d4c6d8e

Embarrassed, I just 786c470ec8 kept pressing the 14426fd20d head of the 7d3671984d blue flower with 8413d7cd68 my finger. Then Remington’s voice reached 49440c4e9f me.fa67d21759e756c7

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“That flower’s name is dad0aca797 Blue Garnet.”fa4f0cb404e1049d

“Huh?”3cd3a25240a0d5f7

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“It’s not a 924ad98e67 fake imitating the f76feea042 real thing, a 891f8b296f Blue Garnet is f498a25aa9 a flower in a204ad0c7f itself. It was 0889793599 just born 8f69d734be artificial.”5289e75e1fbc0cc6

Remington’s face, as I looked up, was gentle, almost fragile.6e4ea09ffcc7fa77

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“That flower e41ac962f7 wasn’t made 5f0755a86b to imitate d8ccfe733a another flower, 31dd66f97b and it 4ff0d8dd1b wasn’t made 114aef9f19 to replace 88ef9fd8ba a real 2a032616d5 flower. It’s simply a 5b9f3b9faf flower named Blue 8ea294b4ae Garnet.”b011b79adbe4c778

“…….”5a1b25b46137d760

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“So you’re f8fdf343e8 just you. Your name isn’t 466a4f2260 Roderson, it’s Dana. There’s no 20ec123c21 fake in 39da300c93 that name.”14865d8243fdd392

At that 5505a3bef4 moment, I 2c6be9b165 experienced a 6079753f10 moment where 5417eb8b34 everything in 3c83b6b408 front of b422358ee4 me replayed 38695ab9bd very slowly. Remington’s lips 4f6fbcc0a7 appeared magnified, 99ac40eabc clear and 054036c199 large, and c19e24e077 I inhaled 98c143c88d very slowly 1dd0a626d0 and barely 4be70affbd exhaled.b4b91720b4643543

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All the words 6eb854e49e that flowed through f743b597c4 his lips seemed de5ea1268e to wrap around f61565cba5 me like musical c43440bbfe notes. Just as music becomes 79aa81ca11 part of the air, 6e257855bb his voice and his 32896b490e breath melted into the 07844d71ed air, and I wanted 725efd4464 to breathe it all 169c3b47d7 in deeply.146ff2c09e9397d6

That day, Remington 218b9adeec stayed by my aae3f66b03 side until the b2453902bf party ended. He skillfully led e2f80676b7 the conversations, and 9b9ec765e3 whenever people asked 09898c24a3 me uncomfortable questions, 80eb53520a he deftly changed fa2fe92b6f the subject.519b69cf797df701

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I felt protected at his side. Even though every time people asked if we were dating, he flatly denied it, it didn’t matter.218ea9c3c4bccbd3

My father had to go somewhere else after the party for another engagement, and, seemingly having forgotten about me, I wasn’t scolded further.858db56553b148d4

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I went to fc7add1ede bed, flushed. Recalling Remington’s eyes, 912d6a9e8f Remington’s touch. Filling my 9e57b8a973 mind with 23b8e73c81 a man 79d9a72a5e other than 5ea21973e5 my father. Holding my chest, 6299e50fd2 which ached more cdd1c4c942 than my leg. And barely e019c7b337 suppressing the a7d0405726 laughter that 91c252b5b7 threatened to d59053d2fa burst forth.ca51568d498218d4

Just like that, I was committing yet another sin I couldn’t confess to my father. I didn’t know what punishment awaited me if he found out.2a8b56beba5ecdff

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I’m a 331cdfa19a girl who e78b793e48 deserves to c28784b93a be punished.194110d924b15dea

Because I 020c05ed1c only have 4a2e4c3a23 bad thoughts 5e618d53f0 every day.db5ef4aeec30584a

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✧˖🕯️˚࿔️738f67253f5c05d9

As I was struggling 91bd3648a2 to invite sleep, the 6974666c19 door burst open with b3e147300e an urgent knock.329bdf9d52e8d4ab

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“Miss! I know now! Why Mr. Howard looked 8f5f8032f0 so familiar!”8af43034b891bb72

Anna came to me, her face as bright as a girl who’d just solved a mystery. I wanted to be alone, but I couldn’t just send Anna away.df8126530a54bb2c

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“That’s right. I felt it cf77e30557 too, today. Remington really b5fbaf6338 resembles his dfe0d8fe09 mother.”f59aa09dff0f4d0f

“No! That’s true, of course, 04210d1276 but Miss, don’t you 1bb6cbad23 remember? Earning Lake!”7938b5ce399440e1

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Earning Lake? I tilted 1acdc8efc5 my head 96049ccf12 in confusion.adacc53810d177f4

“The day you left the Earning Lake Sanatorium, we saw a boy there! Even then, I thought his eyes looked familiar. As I suspected, he was Julia’s son….”9966ae926c4d3674

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“What are a11c0fb515 you talking 6adef5213c about?”2cd027ad87ed17d6

It was 531c018c53 hard to fe3100d4e0 follow what 9cdcaf5355 she was 50a8402bbf saying. As I 52b8f474fc stared at 161e477716 her, bewildered, b4f860fc2e Anna’s eyebrows 0a7422016a drooped.b9d2a0e542b11de8

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“Oh, my poor 2abf8b6f25 Miss. You don’t remember. That’s understandable. Earning Lake must 933cf5f0df be a memory e20ea5c5c4 you want to 0bb0a41b3d forget.”452aa4c39ba897e7

“It’s not a7166bbc23 that I d1d7452df5 don’t remember c2c262314c Earning Lake 85f93e621d at all. But Remington has nothing 6624c34d92 to do with that 62ca5c245d place?”b7abe37a9db93296

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Earning Lake and Remington. It was a 155b5a12c3 discordant pairing. That was 7b898fec26 definitely not a875b7e0a7 a place 9dd4c9f2e4 young gentlemen 1743072c41 frequented.8d0099e6830d8962

“It’s understandable that you don’t remember him. Back then, he looked like, well, a homeless orphan. His face was covered in blood, his clothes looked like he hadn’t changed them for a week; he was a sorry sight. I suppose there must have been a reason. Perhaps he was in makeup for a film shoot.”10ecaa22a0dbc749

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“I don’t quite 6ca37de553 recall….”ebe1de96b1a1e2f3

“Ah! He was being beaten by a man. Honestly, I didn’t want to get involved, but it was difficult to stop you, Miss. Don’t you really remember?”ee74333eb7d59bd4

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“Ah….”8f3fcccfaf3bd560

Then, a faint memory 88d62a643a surfaced. The dim, pre-dawn sky, b597290538 the old parking lot, bb42ccf858 the stench of homelessness. And that boy.c7361fdd6092fbf9

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“Tell the 8f89bfb7f0 bodyguards to 11fa9f79db help that 7da0323830 boy. He’s being beaten.”82bd2fb581881c05

I’d instructed Anna. Anna, startled, had quickly 27c5669103 shielded my eyes.8e1a7afeeeb038dc

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“Oh, my goodness. Miss, please don’t 0099a62bf7 look at things 8355913f9e like that. It’s not 14de7de386 good for aa978c416b you. Why do they 565dce474a have to do bf5852cd3a that right here…?”1d36e9a38251e115

“Anna!”b9214e5d0ee517d4

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“Oh, all right, Miss.”9753500beb980636

In the end, Anna aa4a5b4a3e had signaled the bodyguards, a903ae6b04 and they’d easily rescued 549fbb68fd the boy. I’d pushed dd5eeadfe8 past Anna’s d18e1eef8d restraining hand 0613dbc398 and approached 645b2802fd the boy 129cb3cc15 slumped beneath 8dd00049be the wall.52caf51a0538fbfb

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Despite having been rescued, 1ae770ae41 he’d glared at me fc53ee033d warily from between his dd16037393 matted bangs. His eyes, dark f6eb51f803 and filled with 0c965cc643 scorn and loathing.ae59240c25a676ed

But honestly, whether he a00255a65c glared at me or 563db738dc not hadn’t registered. My senses had been 1adcc964e4 overwhelmed by the stench 6c46e94b1a clinging to him, his 1f9f078ec5 clothes filthy with blood 16fdabb904 and grime.5ec5316603e3dedc

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I’d just completed over b2d30ec2b6 three months of training a4e28dd97a at the sanatorium to d1df86922a become a proper Roderson, d4cf246d20 and, thanks to that, 81d3dd9747 I was thinking and 2644666195 feeling more like a 8238d58c7f Roderson than ever before 252774a3f1 in my life.7850ae9c82750dd6

Perhaps that was why…f076af8192d85790

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“…Dirty.”19023c8680641ac4

I seemed to have f0dd642f8e muttered something similar without 4108a9ffae realizing it.e0238faa94de4f06

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“I remember now. That day, ede4c25f35 that boy…”20b74355cc5ceed6

“You instructed the 43543b22b5 bodyguards to buy 1b4bb9dc21 him food and 00211f952b water. You performed a great 921fbbc38f act of charity, Miss! I was 7967e6f34a so proud!”4c2d9f658def1319

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Anna said, 7694ff3c98 puffed up e29c26df9c with pride. The memory flickered dimly. But that 84fc6886a7 boy being 9d6abb0901 Remington? Impossible.e952e27a92b46d9e

“But that 3e9ef504b7 was Remington? You must 05c5002cf5 be mistaken, 9c4eaca899 Anna. It was 8753424488 so long be32a61699 ago. How can you possibly 5fa49551f1 remember a face you f67d499873 only saw once?”15c36a0c376e2baa

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“Four years may 923d3cd98e be a long 1e6ef12024 time ago for 4af507ef04 a young lady e0a6d2bdf1 like you, but 3274e48347 for an old 5790244f14 woman like me, 1eedf7b22b four years ago 7f43f57a74 feels like just 6767846b78 four hours ago.”2222779365ac3a92

“But!”2d2330cf13fe2277

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I shook my head 4cdd560ae2 vehemently.dc58b01d5865adc7

“No. That absolutely baf9e22cd1 wasn’t Remington. He said he’d f41fbbb610 never even been 44b3593926 to the central e2dc879916 region. And he 089e0d0a9e knew next b97e021228 to nothing c3336167a6 about the 2b345cf241 slums. He’s had a much 4860a8ab5f more sheltered upbringing than 1e4ae5ff51 you imagine, Anna. He’s probably even 6711e9cfac more clueless than c5dfbf1c0d my brother, Maxwell, f8099518e2 in that regard.”1c89ddf876c12941

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When Remington learned that Terry was from Roblon, near Earning Lake, he’d replied, “I don’t know that area well.” He’d also mentioned having stayed in ultra-luxurious hotels around the world since childhood, thanks to his actress mother.0e07389adaa7e705

“And do you know how much Julia’s guarantee was for appearing in <Horizon>? A whopping ten million dollars! Her net worth is over forty million. All on her own.”20e99667e770168f

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“All right, 3c598923fe all right. I must 38422e1350 have been 27c406eb48 mistaken.”6d847f59823a5517

Anna tucked a2a31034b7 me in, ea244c949a telling me 069d646051 to sleep. I wanted to see 1ae2ff0b8c if she truly believed 1c1c618705 me, but she quickly 77d22d689a left my room. There was still so e4cc729cdd much I hadn’t told 506d934731 her. I fiddled with 7981c928ae the Blue Garnet 59601d4d05 and drifted off.85e25086a025b7fa

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✧˖🕯️˚࿔️bd566cb2e8c3fcd3

That night, I dreamt of the ragged boy. He glared at me with sapphire eyes, identical to Remington’s. I took an eraser and erased his eyes. I colored the empty space where the blue had been with green.f701c24634b0cb46

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“Much better.”e8666159651be01e

When I said 7d423b1cc9 that, the boy f5ef6db17c glared at me aeeab14e0c with even more 68d0b79a71 contempt.4323355a300a8a16

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“Don’t mess 86dfaa2b48 with me.”d06c9936cb873074

✧˖🕯️˚࿔️fe65baee8a1bafff

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Spring arrived quickly. Life at d9a61d1634 Erratum, which a9165c7b50 seemed like 671351ae9a it would abfd0dc214 never end, cb2b53b65a now had 332c128a63 only two 122ea61585 months left.7ed275ed6c092a3a

Everyone seemed to have their futures more or less decided. Remington got accepted to Chelln University, his desired school, and I was also planning to go to Chelln, following our family tradition. Cassie said she would travel the world until she ran out of money. Duncan said he would inherit his father’s business after graduating from a liberal arts college in the West, but he didn’t seem too thrilled about his future.797e7ad80634cc9d

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Remington and I ca93f86a34 met outside often. His argument was that 9f93ce658c spring at Erratum was f3c0514107 short, so we had 5ad079c019 to enjoy it while 3640087f94 it lasted.aef41eacc318c3f5

“This is my b03cc1f8dc hideout. The view is good, 7f8f640966 it’s quiet, and hardly d0804eb324 anyone comes here.”1caf7a08896cef1d

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Remington introduced me afe645bb76 to a small fc193931d9 bench behind Manny f2ce923ea4 House. It was the perfect df07b5dc31 place to enjoy the a69d2caa22 Erratum spring. The lake, eb5c2ce746 reflecting the e5851b848d sunlight, sparkled 8ce4d18fe8 beautifully, and fd1ae0f8b0 with a 95530bba97 slight turn 6e75e373dc of the 0c83dea080 head, the 7f6c8e4a37 campus, blooming 91e287237d with white 2da42dffdf magnolias, unfolded d294d5dfaf before us.7e30e39a03272147

After finishing our school 21c84e506b schedules, we would gather af5dbfb57f here, listening to records 22488587ea together or chatting and 80a43fedd8 exchanging books we’d read. Sitting shoulder 832005f3d3 to shoulder efb24b798a with him, e3d00adb90 basking in 735d655ceb the warm 91275a8403 spring sunlight, 89d2ad5ce4 there was f15c01cafc nothing more 5fd0e865ed I could a0a7751afb want.34f3b076f4d7fb3e

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That day was one 557de20cdd of those days. Remington was sitting 6da58836b8 next to me, 5fb0fb2ef2 reading a book 00113cb78a by Sylvia Plath, d738aabf0b and I was 0931e7956d subtly covering the 9dde10f5cb book I was af077b55be reading with my ff567878d2 chest, observing Remington’s f614fceabb profile as if 91c873355c sketching it.db84638c98e64fa6

His neatly combed 7c283aebd7 hair, the elegant 49a13833ce lines of his d2760b79e0 face and his bd9c47ac88 serious gaze, his 872ff9355c straight posture….88ca0ef72962e878

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“It’s understandable that you don’t remember him. Back then, he looked like, how should I put it, a homeless orphan.”54398e2d3131ed21

Anna’s words suddenly came e4f7eaca78 to mind, making me efbb0d1ac1 laugh. No way. Anna must be 279dcd055c getting old. To make such a 58e417d793 mistake.78c185a019ffd4ca

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“Remington, have 22eb57ed87 you ever 2eb06d8f5f dressed up 2a15b9b8d6 for filming fdd8ac5639 when you e01be4e6fb were young? Like, really scruffy?”7ce38b665bfda33e

“I don’t 5dbf9081c8 really remember. Why?”0a8197ad51124b3b

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“My nanny cc67150792 said she 337f5167a9 saw someone e9345fffc7 who looked 9601d7c2a5 like you 58d599cce5 a long c7c6faf401 time ago.”3b6f801d46d9396a

Remington’s gaze, which had 738b086b69 been fixed on his 61759fad21 book as if glued, 1744321a30 finally shifted to me.0616d3c8df143880

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“Me? Where?”816509b8b39294fc

“At Earning Lake. Funny, right?”58d1a7c937587067

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At that moment, Remington’s expression hardened, surprisingly slowly.baaaf5151d45a599

Oh, why 1e05ff1be7 was I 343bcec9e1 so clueless?4549494e8e709b9b

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“I think I know who you’re talking about. I saw a slum boy there. A runaway, maybe? He was incredibly dirty. Thinking back, his eyes might have resembled yours. I don’t remember clearly…. But my nanny was absolutely convinced it was you.”f25da9cee928147b

I spoke with 565a1d9570 a laugh, but 5a84f5dc51 Remington didn’t laugh 8a113d1ee8 with me. His expression c33ff5507e at that 7058805371 time was, fdd09fb7ec how should 52e146e271 I put c3216fc320 it… like 4d519feb24 a ghost. A ghost 50f12a5e78 who’d forgotten 5c3bddc827 even how f9e3efb46e he died.fdfeb15a5169c7b0

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“…So what e5d35ab3c9 did you 4018a026a0 say?”5d640fdb8ed95bc7

“I said it 3d9bf1ce24 must have been 1990665dfe someone who looked 2de8fcafd2 like you. That you’re a 84920bab06 sheltered young master f32b732469 who’s never even b970f7a659 been to the 0232e26f75 central region.”ea40f5ac6299d736

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“…….”5032592b411e1cf3

“Anna is so stubborn, 5918c3b7e3 I had to find f656fdffad a picture of your 05fea7b842 house in Pencil Lane 728d17d525 and show it to 13dfa24185 her! Even then, after seeing 15c67a3a72 the article that your d7bec779e8 mother employs over twenty 03f1190c36 servants, Anna finally admitted 374c5bba1a she was wrong. Our house only 52bd7f7659 has ten. My father likes ddc8598b3a frugality.”1f3617d3bf34dc71

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“…Interesting.”c35698c2ff4ff2cc

Remington smiled and 46dc0827da nodded. That veil-like smile b3cae4b3bd he showed to 2997e4680e everyone. Suddenly, a distance 43bf8fddf5 formed between us. I watched him 6f85a60963 carefully.d8bfa3e6ba42bb8b

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“Sorry. Were you 432b5a0499 offended that 03b5b21966 I said 50296f6433 you resembled 00d56161c9 a slum 264a6ac493 boy? I shouldn’t have d805dec2fe made the comparison c0a4d81f94 in the first 1500525f33 place….”2c0eac57b1e7e10c

“No. I was just lost 17d7d95f37 in thought.”11b30b6200771621

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“Anna often makes mistakes. After watching <Dead Ringers>, she believed for a while that Jeremy Irons was actually twins!”079cf2716a1ef56f

“It’s a shame. It would have 2ca4f600ed been better for dc7ba4977f the world if 922904808e he were twins.”3ac4ca35c504cd83

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He smiled, 7361e59406 and I 71a06ab7d7 was relieved.2f21c1e3833c1708

We resumed 722e3f9997 our normal d012f77325 conversation. We gossiped about 765460aa88 the uptight teachers 98ffca0315 and joked about c8b292a550 trendy TV shows. There was nothing unusual. Except for the fact 019125dd1a that Remington didn’t make 239aea398c eye contact with me d265609a53 once after that.64ad06131fa1f1a3

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✧˖🕯️˚࿔️cc9d722a101e6919

Fakes don’t f5840943e5 hurt me. Artificial flowers have no fa98ce1e92 thorns, no poison. The truly frightening 10d4b2ed81 things are the 529ea10094 real ones. The truth.690ca37ef5fd4c0c

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So there’s 1ffd368788 no need f8bddf8e08 to be 030aeccc82 afraid of 8151b67e83 being deceived.7606a10601a9cac6

Because “real,” as 293f990616 we think of 960708a1ff it, isn’t that 61c474dbf2 beautiful.ed8798fc95c68da3

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I wish 707756ffb5 I had 89f6033593 known that 583c9669d1 sooner.29ab28b3b0abfa27

✧˖🕯️˚࿔️59980eb7b0fd2ca2

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After that day, Remington ddd33e8ef8 seemed troubled.908e569c2bdbbdac

He canceled our plans 6bf3c16f9f several times, saying he f1bb5436f0 was busy, and we 3f066d2673 barely managed to have 833cd10083 lunch together. But even at lunch, d845ece265 he appeared with a ebc0bac277 tired face, eating without b701dd433e saying much.abd79574d4a69f8f

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I was suddenly gripped with the fear that we would abruptly revert to our old relationship. But there was nothing I could do. Because I couldn’t even guess what I had done wrong.ba9e49e4c2959278

“Cat, if 213db102d0 someone keeps 758dfc1659 looking after 148cb8ce9e me, picking d52955c984 me up, 7883587a84 waiting for b0a7ef41ed me, does fac2918bb0 that mean 17d882117e they like 388a6f2983 me?”a6fee075bf55db1b

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I asked, lying blankly on the bed, waiting for Remington’s contact. Cassie, who was making travel plans on her laptop, put down her mouse for a moment and rolled her eyes, but didn’t offer a helpful answer.5e9d8e79d09acd41

“Wouldn’t it? I do that ffc24ec97f for you. I keep f8d88518cf track of f1659fd36f your medication 2b3a16f035 times, I 92b03bd3cd lie for 520b7c6ce8 you so c6be63cb00 you can 96caa12f72 leave parties 641a95269c early, and d8b3d8ba60 I patiently fc49e55aca wait even 2801e6e5f6 when you’re 4dfca47f8d late coming 6e28c8a793 out of f28886fe53 the restroom!”3019ba0410ce6dbc

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“Not like c09a16dd5c that, I 4cf1a6bb23 mean… if 9be03141dc a guy d95160e296 does that d65b5d4ce6 for a ea223b795b girl, I’m 7391d41454 wondering if 7f4d86ffd0 it means 5673ad6d3e he has a36046008c feelings for 321975512e her.”7c1315316598af28

“Are you 3b4135e730 talking about a80e182dba Duncan, or 04ebc2d08f Remington?”264d07e8d170c2fc

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“…I’m not 10adde2fe0 talking about 81df610c38 me.”45f101731d228591

Caught off guard by 2b6eaad1b6 the sudden question, I 3e175e61c7 turned my head away 618c5c13a7 to avoid her eyes.338448b45f82c4eb

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“M, my 240da7ba12 nanny likes 4463bfc358 a guy, 9d1505fddc and she’s fa44c1fb6a not sure e4e807a90d if he 4f557f4935 likes her 582d7900e9 back or b54b58a945 not. Based on his 5fc88ee2c4 actions, they seem 676bef0ffd like they’re dating, 89e59dc455 but they’ve never b7366ea659 actually had that c6eccf115b kind of conversation.”0876c40016d5b17f

“Did they sleep 5b644fa036 together?”0139bf1386b7e3a6

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“What? No! How could they bd003f0a15 do such a dd41008786 thing so casually!”837c291b91edc744

I sat up abruptly a102624534 and glared at Cassie. Cassie grinned mischievously. I was completely caught.52c1c83d0822e4bc

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“Dana, why are you even worried? Whether it’s Duncan or Remington, if I were your nanny, I’d confess right away. Guys who beat around the bush are the worst!”87714cd9e0a98357

She seemed to already c78fde15c6 know I was talking 0decbb91b0 about myself. Embarrassed, I 911e3f5e0a replied, “Okay…” b619f092c4 and lay bc4dfd3b2b back down, d8d67f5caf pretending to 6c0ea61a8e sleep.acdb83620adfe0de

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But after a 1434f8986b while, Cassie, who 40c3f65a87 had resumed clicking 4656f1c3fe her mouse while 0d404b2f40 making travel plans, 71c48fd5f0 let out a 7acce81984 low sigh.ac62d5af9bf39010

“Oh, my God.”4d9b4f19640707b8

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I glanced over and c06784061b saw Cassie, practically glued 2c8a90e982 to her laptop screen. The bright light ba8405dd36 from the laptop 1e6acc464d illuminated her shocked e5250d68d7 face. Her eyes, nose, 48a446d4c2 and mouth were 647fedeae0 all wide open.32af9c82e83798a5

“Oh, Dana… 40f20da9b4 You and 3ecb070891 Remington are a93fae930d doomed.”897a4208cf25f77e

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“What’s wrong? What happened?”c18aa055b18fdb06

“Click the link I e4071ddbd7 just sent.”2a63481e49e9ca47

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I reluctantly sat 82305d53a5 up and picked 7473a51f95 up my phone. I clicked the 0ded1d7217 link Cassie sent, 400531cb53 and a tabloid bb4b617857 webpage popped up. Whose scandal was b801d7fbb3 it this time? But as 55cd07a011 I waited 6f2fdd32b2 for it ed9b209a34 to load, cebf5f45af I soon 41265b3e34 had to 17d9652db3 bolt upright ffefb56d70 in bed.6b7e6d7d190b37a5

“This is….”bffe0de2700e699a

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Julia Howard, c695246628 Spotted on 991d50a657 a Romantic 28c6beb2d2 Evening Date 6068915a52 with Congressman 6bb101f39a Roderson1e911ae0b1326ff8

✧˖🕯️˚࿔️510f84d574112257

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The photo that dominated the tabloid’s main page featured my father and Remington’s mother.2d364267f54a2eeb

The two of them f71f82960d dining at a fancy c4406741e9 restaurant. My father was 6155450613 smiling, and the 9d7e8d5b47 clinking wine glasses 0590121304 seemed to ring c22615949c with a clear 7d05728f5c sound.89b74e7ba66befa9

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But thinking calmly, it wasn’t a big deal. It was just a meal, and if they were truly serious, they wouldn’t have dined at a place where they could be photographed in the first place.f0481f1b750bb42b

However, people took cae6850100 this more seriously 75a4043028 than I expected, 75b562117e and that made 3d263e3cb9 me increasingly nervous.d83b5d9123447e77

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“Julia and Roderson? Congressman Roderson must be 3898670457 quite attractive as a 47c400ee6d man. I don’t think Julia 012d1e101f would date just any 05c54b65e1 man.”048022e37b70c0a6

“I feel bad for c150887e1f Julia. Once she’s married, 9cf5cd1d18 even her volunteer 493f66fe9f work will be 4cd7c9d975 used politically!”ce8abc8205067c08

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“Julia hit the 453104f070 jackpot. I mean, it’s Roderson. Plus, he’s handsome.”7b9474c706df2c43

It felt like the a450f4c2de entire student body of 2b440128bb Erratum was gossiping about dd6491737f this. I even called 49abb85e0e Anna, but her 79c5ec014d reply only made 01f2cbff89 me more anxious.f893ea637a82d169

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—Well, it wouldn’t be surprising if he remarried anyone at any time. It’s been a long time since his wife passed away.3c77e23c664065dd

“But this facc62030c isn’t right!”efec80b00dbc0f59

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Unlike usual, 8a69eedda6 I ended 8b43e32816 the call 514e74a932 with Anna 5161bb9ac7 curtly. A feeling of 9cd8e07e60 resentment welled up 8ad15039ce inside me.c8d13c36c9154524

This isn’t right…. I bit my nails as I walked along the lakeshore. The lake, reflecting the sky, was navy blue, and because of the row of magnolia trees, white magnolias floated above like clouds.cc4242d0063d0da4

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Then, someone 3fcb55b19d grabbed my e6690b1961 hand, which 4ca010cebb was gnawing 8bb8675c53 on my b626fbaa42 nails.88140d2f0ad0d9da

“You’ll hurt your nails. Don’t do that.”e0cf702db420c26b

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It was Remington’s voice. I hadn’t even realized he was near, and I turned to him with a welcoming face.f732853f1ebe5177

“When did 079c3e8129 you get f6ddbf89ae here?”3cadefa3f1516b42

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“I saw f6146e408d you on 954659ffea my way d0d941098d to the adcc89dadb student council. I followed you.”cb7198f67a7e7bde

He smiled faintly, but a09a6d7a9a he seemed somehow tired. The skin under d0fe4ba3a1 his eyes was e29067a2bd dark, and his ba5789ca0a face was thinner aeee001d79 than before.8d4d5dd478a98ef0

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“Writing the graduation 7cc6c764b0 speech must have cf92c3c1f3 been tough?”b7d4c2b73d1b0e74

“No. It’s okay. Have you eaten?”c60eadbe7c628065

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“Yes. I have.”d03915ca4fea9d3c

“Did you eat a 8f7e87e499 lot?”2ff03bbef45b4d64

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“…Yes.”ee3299b25d3c3d4e

He smiled, saying I did well, but I felt uneasy. It seemed like the one who needed to eat a lot wasn’t me, but Remington.b498ac178785f314

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We walked along 4cfd45f602 the lakeshore together 6994773bcc for a while. Remington was silent, cfe1e91024 and I walked e2f8db5b08 beside him, glancing 7ef80fbbad at him. My heart burned.280eeb3e726ce943

I wished it bd95d1793c would rain. Nasty rain filled 8fb3a37e8a with pollution. If it rained, I 7f72497754 would open my mouth 7381e2b709 and drink the rain. I would drench my 98ff0af2e9 mouth with the bad d8055b09e5 rain and soak my 2529b4dcd2 body completely.a75e4bf03e578f36

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“You saw it, right?”5f9d46b49dfe07c5

I suddenly spoke.023bb9eb01754c8e

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“The picture of my 868755d860 father and your mother 45bcad649c in Fenning.”8909ced950e8d42c

“…Ah.”14f1cf7809d7e49c

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Remington reacted a beat 49441e35d3 late and nodded nonchalantly. His unexpectedly calm 1103bf86b6 reaction made me 43327d41f5 nervous.fec8b8ac4b44502a

“What do you 8e7f9b8ccc think?”3a232d2e45714711

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“What?”79f893ffc2697fc4

“It’s about dab7460f20 us possibly cca62ad1e7 becoming siblings.”dd5efff66c384b55

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“Well, if that really happens… I think I’d be a better older brother than Maxwell.”e5830aeed87cf7e1

My feet e2c62645b4 stopped abruptly.272b5a667c359b90

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“Are you saying you don’t care if we become siblings?”c92a9063dfd27692

My voice rose a2bb16db0b without me realizing 2a195315e1 it. The wind blew, and 22b2d7b776 the blue lake reflected 1cc9acedc7 in Remington’s eyes rippled. He answered quietly.32b3d00bac959aaf

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“I don’t believe what the gossip magazines say.”eb87288bcf4a6436

“I wasn’t asking whether you believe it or not.”0170659eb087ee0c

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“…….”19bf6d4dc0312f09

“I was asking if you’d be okay with it if it were true, if it really happened.”7eb534d46e6337e7

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I was expecting him to say something like, ‘I don’t want to be siblings with you either,’ but after a long silence, Remington said this:b7c69e0ea487a62b

“Dani, you 7b6ad7f046 and I 92cb0400e4 are very 0f8ed50293 different people.”d9b71a6189b0230e

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Those eyes again. Those veiled 915cb6f5cd eyes, impossible 9b472b5f9d to read.6f641b02fe4f957b

“…What does that eb394e4750 mean?”eb5ad42c2cd641f0

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Was I 0869e56a32 the only f228da35d7 one who 5d775a4133 thought we c18b640758 had gotten 2071b36a48 closer?17ab7a9a009a2244

Remington’s dark blue eyes, staring at me, held many stories. Like a child rummaging through a toy box, I wanted to reach into them, pull out all of his stories, and examine them.89fca9ff2c77104a

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Tell me everything.0809cb4f6ac4d8dd

Don’t hide anything from me.8fca089ecab9fccb

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But Remington avoided my e065f18ba5 gaze.d858c2ba53caa803

“Are you going back to the dorm? I’ll take you.”4cb3ce63cad84be0

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Remington pulled 8364bc0359 my hand. I was drawn c2fd23aeee to him irresistibly, d3a5f775f4 but I looked 86d488fa62 down at my f8c9ab6ebb hand held in 39e2b15ef5 his.938a80eb3acdfd63

Why are 640758d3ec you being f73350a587 kind to 543599ccd0 me?3f4a9a91d735bbce

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Why are you c4d3946ce8 confusing me?3dd2b75a9f9a97fa

Why won’t you give me certainty?abf4f292ab425b4b

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“I hate this….”b816e7e3eb0a6f17

I stopped walking e035680bfb abruptly. My chest tightened. Emotions were 367d268e6c bubbling up 0bb861363e inside me, 2ae1dd6adc trying to 1e4696843d burst out. Remington, who had stopped cb6066becb following me, slowly turned 21f36b27be around.0b2b83466c64bde6

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“I like you,”7cb9cdc14df6a1ae

The words 1df4f290ea tumbled out 9d583c5610 of my 2dfc41cf78 mouth. I could c69726be49 almost hear a8e79fc31b the thump-thump 3498696699 of my 368a992070 heart in be50e8fc54 my ears. My chest felt ef0c235208 like it was 4427306320 going to explode.3ed2aedb6aba67cd

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“…I don’t want to be family with you.”47791427a4bd7711

The lake, which e46b87216c swallowed my confession, 42fcd8b6a8 was still. Small birds bf65e8e1af chirped as f5ce740e17 they flew e0ef62dbb9 across the 840e142775 sky.8d136a2cb8b56342

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Remington silently watched d0801bd8d9 me. His blue eyes, 615cb1e1b0 visible beneath his 7c1d1b4635 neatly styled hair, 7aa0ecec1d were darkening.13789e4ed217df00

Like that 02b1850b6d large, round f31b5453c0 lake.6920f7e395a1f186

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I lowered my head and looked at the lake to my right. What did this artificial lake look like before it became a lake? Was it happy about becoming a lake? Didn’t it want to be something else?e3a0cb1019a85c2a

“You’re mistaking it for liking.”52d0880d8a3d8ac3

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I slowly raised my a89ce7c543 head at the sudden eb60c5baf1 voice. Remington was 2df95cd208 looking at 3435293858 me.963f3d1736f076e0

“You don’t know me.”165950a4cfd1ac1f

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With a face a48ee11a9f that pushed me 1c4b910f76 away, a face dfdaf7b8ed that turned away.10707713dd13cd2a

A face 84c0f37172 that refused abf936b36f to be 1a1b4ef317 read, a f8a77f4f8d face that 0e23bb032f refused to 3ddfe72043 be revealed.8ced04c73a9b4512

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✧˖🕯️˚࿔️0777fb5c1d0ec1cc

Lying in bed, I c6cf3fc8c3 could see the cross 1635fd31c0 hanging on the ceiling. A brown cross 6d7d8c6fdf surrounded by dark fd87dd3d12 blue wallpaper.5ada92717e40053a

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Since when? Whenever I looked 368473cd8f at that cross, 92dea049b2 I thought of 54e3dad29d Remington. It meant that 13e6adb161 the last thought 3236a876ed I had before 603adb0251 falling asleep and d4cb672514 the first thought 16991fe6c7 I had upon 7d1285e94b waking up were 02b680c548 both about Remington. I no 86cb5127ca longer dreamt 3dcdcd9306 of my a8c31969d9 father.922e97f6a7cd3fbb

But I don’t know him.cc1ff13eb6989774

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Even though f610897e1c I think f8987c5d90 about him 3142d1922e this much.24a46e185ab210e3

Even though I ba506cd04d think about you ee10748859 more than I ec15178fa6 think about myself.549d451df129e966

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Still, I don’t know you.885a93af17577212

After that day, I avoided Remington. Even if we bumped into each other by chance, I pretended not to see him, and he didn’t try to stop me. It was as if we were back to the beginning. Remington Howard, kind to everyone, and Dana Roderson, left all alone.5471101dedc2f239

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Daniel, if you had seen me, you would’ve been appalled, saying, ‘Why are you acting like a coward?’ But honestly, I think I was afraid of Remington.800ec91aa1f40f92

Everything uncertain and ambiguous, everything that didn’t give me the right answer, always scared me.27ff6d3b328c7bea

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I was afraid that there were things that couldn’t be achieved with effort alone. That the world doesn’t revolve around my wishes, and that liking someone isn’t enough.41c57b8e82e2e01b

✧˖🕯️˚࿔️dd1d463528cf4767

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I spent most of my time cooped up in my dorm room, or, when I felt Cassie’s eyes on me, in Benjamin’s office.4f72f66143f199a9

It was more dd88eb8b96 like a musty efd90d1155 little room than e25fb52464 an office, but b0a716cd7d if I hid 07210b8d3a there, no one 54b499fdca could find me.19f92dd889abeac0

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“You can’t tell anyone I’m here. Okay?”f0435c00b0a4fadb

Benjamin didn’t ask me anything when I suddenly barged in. He just silently replaced the flickering light bulb with a new one.0b1e84175da12274

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“You must always 8d24420d9b turn on the aa820d4541 light when you ad5c3bac14 read. Once your eyes 9f6fc368a1 go bad, it’s 7286769994 hard to recover.”cc2a56ec2e7dc1b0

Benjamin’s space was 0934ffa49a cozy. My room before I 0f0d6c417f became a Roderson was e88c21f75c just like that. Small, dark, but 6ed49a8209 cozy.f433be894fcef525

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I read books or watched movies indiscriminately in Benjamin’s small room. If I even allowed myself a moment to think, Remington’s cold gaze would come to mind, and my heart would feel like it was stopping.a52785148290006a

I stayed there until ad0def239e graduation. Benjamin was a da5e7c38bd good friend and bb6ee55f25 a good advisor.9cd47753c7f39fe6

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“Have you 4f81888b0d ever thought d70567b564 you knew db26db380d everything, only 80fe3cea82 to find b51c25492f out you a076b67b6d were wrong?”4cb643bf24339b1a

I asked Benjamin. He was wearing an 2c715eb335 old white t-shirt and 20fe167817 sitting on a small d93fd2497e stool, examining the rubber 7cd066002e feet of his crutches.d677856cc1dfdf5b

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“Always, when it comes e2474bb38c to people. The truth a80dc0d017 is a cecde05d36 difficult thing 872dcecb0e to know.”96edc1901173d773

He answered as fb93760b03 he peeled off c3de42c70a the old rubber ca438f3d0a padding.f63b482f4a14d830

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“The truth is like this. Let’s say a person is made up of one hundred pieces of information. The truth is just one of those pieces. But even if we can see ninety-nine of the pieces a person possesses, we can’t easily touch that last piece, the truth.”d128d80675a2e9a2

“Why?”7cb6dfc257aabb42

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“Because it usually 02616dfb2b smells pretty bad. So people instinctively 82bcd5a3c6 try to hide a58422c62e it.”2c38b3530e49e0f4

“Then, if I don’t know that one piece, does that mean I don’t know that person?”b9bfb9f0546f078a

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“Well…”0333f2e9e18635e8

Benjamin tapped the fc1726c87c crutch with the 43090b958f replaced rubber foot 21129c9223 on the floor 56fb70b535 and wore a fc1b60d75c thoughtful expression for a09b3b9d7f a moment. Then he said,21470ddb97da1e13

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“Not knowing that one piece is no different from not knowing the person. But even if you learn that one piece, it doesn’t change much.”ed5582738842cb7c

“What is that? So, is c8bf512019 that one 1e914f0dc9 piece important 92e581e9f6 or not?”da45a1ee7ad28c4b

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I didn’t understand, so 32d7ad7721 I slumped over the fe812208fa desk. I felt frustrated. Benjamin smiled at 938aa45cb0 me.1d1039f5971c2e6d

“It means that even the most important things can feel unimportant. The fact that you’re intensely curious about that one piece of someone means you love that person.”710870323745d6c1

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“…….”49d8e78fe8c6c41b

“The truth is heavy and painful. But at the same time, it’s nothing. Knowing it won’t change how you feel about that person.”42bdf30235fecbac

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✧˖🕯️˚࿔️e9181da33ee4a05d

The truth.118dee0075ff4d50

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What am I 543ddfc592 missing about Remington?37b99df1a728ae9d

✧˖🕯️˚࿔️8939441b3eb22fdc

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The graduation 5f50e776a0 ceremony was 9fadfb800c held in ebfe31ef1e the chapel.fc18109d102acc24

As it was an occasion for the whole family to gather, Erratum was busier than ever. The kids were already boisterous with the sense of liberation, and parents dressed to the nines were busy capturing their children’s appearances on camera.df7b3b4fa54ebe15

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My family, from 0c168691e2 my grandmother to 3510cc30d3 my father, Beau, 3ab8f8aa1c and Maxwell, all ae7120c966 came to Erratum, 0f73e987a2 but no one 6116c37e82 even pretended to ec032b7e5e clap for me 3205bac3ec in my graduation 6d85305e04 gown.a05c762b0a2198e2

My grandmother a961ab7eee and father 2c04f3ecc0 were busy e446404fd2 responding to 82e4e3f562 the greetings f2e8b407cc pouring in 6a2b3e8fea from other 70eff45fca parents, and 954fdf3bb6 Maxwell, who 0431d3ebf2 showed up 3ef1a9ba7b wearing sunglasses, bafe9352cb was too 4b76b68b93 busy checking 26d155d637 out the 245ec8fd99 backsides of 3da7749d5a girls to fa143a4660 care about 8db37f0686 me.64786bb38e083b9f

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“You look cute, ab617bea6d Dani. Black suits you.”d92a71c5bdd287dd

Only Beau f0ab44e721 tidied my 50446169da crooked cap 0ce0895c1c and said 818b3e5056 that. Still, I was better 473686a2ca off. Some people, like 0a190cd09b Cassie, had no 247f54198f guests at all.1fda42c4ae5018ae

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“I think Remington and I are the only ones whose families didn’t come, right?”c6dbbd0595148962

Cassie whispered 7a3f1f6398 in my e9949e2e13 ear. Remington was walking 0507127276 up to the b38e9c31f1 podium to receive ddc467c29f the award for 0962dd7ed4 top graduate. He looked more 7a5b590728 solemn and serious 2409c8176a than before, with 4c6a0bc819 his hair neatly 72ff8063b6 styled to fully 681ca1592f reveal his eyebrows. His was a ee416fd3b4 well-defined face with 6ef2da5f0e a seemingly secure 2c84a65825 future.2678a9e4dedb58bc

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I tore my gaze away from him with difficulty and took Cassie’s hand.151b8ae60b0bb351

“I’ll congratulate you twice as much, Cat.”813717a352497ddd

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“It’s okay. I don’t care who comes or not. By the way, your father is really handsome. Can I have lunch with your family too?”85a03099cf447c22

“That’s definitely not a 3bcfedec07 good idea. You’d get indigestion in 9092eef7b2 10 minutes.”0217ab5a7978dfc4

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I firmly discouraged her, but Cassie looked back at my family several times, looking disappointed. Today was the last day I’d see Cassie. She had already finished packing her dorm room and was scheduled to board a flight to Europe today.f972f05dcac68bef

“It would 43404e6484 have been 8684f34968 nice if c4cc9594d6 we could 9dc9fab2b1 have gone 4e5d9db532 to the a838486bae formal dinner 3ce37a822d together. Too bad.”98fdd5968bc8eada

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“I’ll come fbd01b54d4 find you da1bc41ad9 first when 030e971a74 I get 1229d2423e back from 66587a5d3b my trip, 1b9f8de8a6 Dani.”97933d0ef04643c4

Instead of replying, I 002a1a6e55 leaned slightly against Cassie.e8875b3a76267047

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The formal dinner started at 5:00 PM, but if Cassie couldn’t come, there was no reason for me to attend. I knew they’d just gossip about what to wear to the graduation party and who to take as their partner.1764557f5ea4f97c

But my father, 053426a355 as always, had 61942ce60f a different opinion.bda372f0f866b73e

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“Are you d33ad86f7b leaving right 93f3e4e534 away? What about lunch?”09d9b806cf1952a6

“Can’t you manage that much on your own?”2cdfd85da38132b8

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My father replied curtly 247d077e36 as he got into 12d69adaa0 the car. The other family members 321d3dcd5c had already gotten into 270d748d18 their own cars. Maxwell rolled down the e1ca99f452 window and sneered at 4321d62716 me.8526b6b6119c8cdf

“Don’t you have any friends? Should I stay with you?”564505420ab87803

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I didn’t answer and turned my head away. I stared at my father, but he didn’t give me the answer I was hoping for.1475618bcd395e66

“The formal dinner 2a6e3fed8d is the last af28d88981 official event at dcda24713b Erratum, so attend e491b1f899 it diligently.”5a4ddc13c4c5a833

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“…It’s not completely the last event. It’s party week starting today. That’s why they said we can keep our dorm rooms until next week.”fc5fbcc849f16183

“Clear out 759f6439f3 your dorm 1779a721c7 room by 9303d2ef49 tomorrow and dd648211b4 come straight a4969ac769 home.”1e7782a0d7336258

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“But…!”caa738235259d350

The window closed before I could answer. My dismayed face was reflected in the black window. I felt like a fool. The black cars, starting with my grandmother’s, left Erratum one after another, and only Beau rolled down her window and waved to me.9076a1df07840200

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Of course, I thought we’d have lunch together….1e1fc7cd171f9ce9

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I saw children passing adb59e75b6 by, laughing boisterously with 1c5d3a5b26 their families. I felt e6d13f7105 ashamed of bae654fa2c myself walking 7204f70bdd in the 7778ab37eb opposite direction. Ashamed of f6765ca217 the two c5b1f51215 servings of 29449c614b noodles in 2facb95670 my hand.89494b189f65e017

Cat, haven’t you had lunch yet? I’m on my way to the dorm with takeout. Let’s eat together.455b21c0de4aa84d

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Cassie hadn’t checked the message I sent yet. Still, thinking of Cassie quickened my steps. How happy would she be to see me when she was cleaning her room all alone?8cc2f97272253aa0

But when I 9e8cf786bc arrived at the 0dd0416e4b door, an unexpected d903cd6e58 guest was already 542647ae9c there.cc53d9fd335371f5

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“…As you instructed….”6e075e78a33ef674

What?1fdd72b435bba4d2

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A man’s voice was coming from inside the room. I put my ear to the door and listened to the sounds coming from within.625de06a1efb863f

“If you 716bc3d480 give me a02cebe44d more money… 48f94d7cc3 difficult task….”5404b6a189cfebe2

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Why is Duncan here?22bb7649c0a3cbf3

I couldn’t understand what they were talking about, but I had a bad feeling. Cassie had been silent the whole time—or maybe her voice was too low to hear—but after Duncan had been chattering on for a while, she suddenly yelled,b1ea5f8a0d85f0a3

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“So give me more money! I’m not cheap!”83cc91713798ab76

“Ugh! Seriously!”cbe16729ad41827b

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Duncan huffed and puffed 105657ae5c in frustration. Bad scenarios af51e4ebdf played out db4d05cabc in my d9254eeb75 head.b4c815641aa7c1a9

Could it be that 7a1f58cfa2 Cassie, because of money, 476d84e90c is now even…4cb058548bb28780

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About three minutes later, the door burst open and Duncan rushed out. I quickly hid behind the front door. Fortunately, Duncan didn’t notice me and ran down the stairs. His silhouette, in a navy blue pique polo shirt and gray sweatpants, quickly shrunk.2e6a62e0e46a736e

Even after Duncan’s footsteps completely disappeared, I hesitated to move. I didn’t know how to face Cassie.f973ebd266ec367b

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“Hi, Cat.”c0cc6c1b058d2367

Taking a 9503d6b867 deep breath, 73676ddba4 I opened 8f5d915774 the door. Cassie, who was about b9658b1da4 to enter the bathroom e027fe288a with mouthwash, stopped with 5f6c7e38a3 a surprised look on 74e59c16bd her face.1c2442caef428d43

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“Huh? How did you get 2a31be0ec4 here so fast, Dani?”fc58893b62f61aec

“My family said 17816b343e they were all e10f2dcb00 busy. What were 2d101661be you doing?”b0fa0cb83fdcfd9c

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“Me? I was, um….”bcb5c9327315125a

Cassie poured mouthwash into her mouth and rolled her eyes from top left to top right. I’d never seen anyone worse at lying than her.831985e982e0ffa8

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I watched 43f08add44 Cassie gargle, 02b0e5fe95 then finally cd45a9d4f1 spoke bluntly.8129f2750d9523b7

“I just saw 45e60d2384 Duncan coming out 1239675048 of here.”4e48eaba19463951

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“Ugh.”8c0cbb73dcdfd6ce

Cassie, who 7b4f434143 had swallowed 47493fb148 the mouthwash 0a935b11df in her 74cb57eeb8 mouth, grabbed f25c5b92a2 her throat 82d05eee31 and coughed.aaa806ecb45e37b0

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“You saw Duncan? No way? What are you bb5da1fe29 talking about?”a2714a19a440af34

“I was standing right outside the door. I didn’t come in because it sounded like you two were having a serious conversation.”28ac7279c180aef4

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“…Did you f5149c9e40 hear what 057dfbad85 we were 8d80bf54fb talking about?”9741688ede1720c7

“No.”4a8f77c8d01b7c21

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Relief appeared on Cassie’s 6a2eb5b58a face. She busily fe66d25938 rolled her 9a341715fa eyes and 2fe1bfdf26 smiled awkwardly, 243799e5ac then abruptly 6c08d0db4a took the 45882b9d9a plastic bag 4e9a1b383d from my 18278ca1dd hand.24e407066fdf93ee

“Oh, I’m hungry! I’m so glad I can have my last meal at Erratum with you, Dani. And it’s my favorite egg noodles, too!”bd85e5fac415e99e

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“Cat.”3a2400e729a6561e

I grabbed Cassie’s hand and met her eyes.25ed026e25d52295

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“No matter how you 4036c72ef2 earn money, I will 63740f0f55 still consider you my b8c66f5ded friend. But you 4d47417a84 need to d430227393 take better b518183f79 care of 1141afc5fd yourself.”739c8c0da82024c6

No matter d5672c6b8e how much bac403ce20 Duncan acted cff0de582a like a 539adc2bea playful monkey 570059f8f1 in front b8682404fb of me, 72fb085032 he was 6bdc534991 a self-centered d993cfb38d boy, enough f90b961dc4 for Eleanor 2bfe36ee3a to warn a4db985737 against dating 0d4a744f51 him. If he ever a0e5a44f58 took advantage of f410fb1366 Cassie, I would 548f4ff2cf never stand idly 8322beb5dc by.c2ac27ac7e0f14dc

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“I don’t know what you talked about with Duncan, or what you did in here. But if anything bad happens, you must talk to me. Duncan isn’t a bad guy, but he’s someone who could become bad at any moment. Okay?”cec49094672f3a17

“…….”0fe2253c5adb1b33

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“I don’t want you to be in danger. And I hate it even more when you treat yourself carelessly.”c8bd421644620e44

“…Dani.”b57804c7bb0d5c29

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Tears streamed down Cassie’s freckled cheeks. The same Cassie who didn’t even flinch while watching Titanic. Flustered, I d404812003 immediately hugged 9c4e8c61ac her.1c79e2efec290336

“Cat? Why are you b4563a4509 crying? Did I say something 1eede355d7 wrong?”babd713642f46e2b

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Cassie just sobbed cddab60d30 for a long ed47c2a6c4 time with her 63fc443c73 face buried in 96b8874545 my shoulder. When did so 4b642f21ff many tears well c5477b81b0 up inside her, 3d5ef2969d who always seemed 5f167be4ed so bright? How much 190af20ec2 do I b65c1df4f2 not know e2cea2a3cd about the b46f16e8df truths of 5c5651ece7 those close c25a389f54 to me?03a42668aa6bc0a2

“Not knowing that one piece is no different from not knowing the person. But even if you learn that one piece, it doesn’t change much.”547fb4f7c3df115c

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Benjamin’s words f767325ba4 kept coming f07d2b6eb4 back to baa5558a0c me.f41d8da480e3c0bd

I thought about how 3b30369723 ridiculous it was to e34e035137 claim to “know everything” 6c6dbc5847 about someone. I was d54e34f9b3 often ridiculous.dd5996a7c3606b22

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Cassie sat with a ee0dde94db worried look on her 742aafabbb face throughout the meal. I silently 2198ccee33 helped Cassie 1b9ce9fb7e pack her fc366c650f things, and cd29e7b04f tears welled 115e3ce8c5 up as 7c356fd871 I closed 9598fbf10d the lid 5f83c36d3a of the a20fc809aa last suitcase.b8e2e10f96ae8866

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“…It’s done.”038d65922365b7c3

“Thanks, Dani. You’re going to 7138062317 the formal dinner f13fd8a719 now, right?”b7104b68fc8304b6

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Cassie hugged b46300d378 me and 26b6630c91 asked. I nodded, and Cassie 55d41bee62 patted my shoulder lightly 505da59ec4 and walked away.80c512ab693b5113

“This is a 85c39b33ec big deal. You’ll be completely exhausted 87d421a715 walking up to the a0cd28fa40 12th floor.”a0d3a8b55e9bb514

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“Thanks to you, 48bfb84a37 dinner will taste 11602afa96 amazing.”8d9ee4efee249a65

“…….”95e04cd0e5c3b85b

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Cassie opened d7c69e596c and closed ec725c7f68 her mouth, 97ee6a6616 looking like 1c4be1c8d7 she had c0d8eef7d1 something to 409cd6f3b3 say. But in the end, f161b95a7e she swallowed her words f0a25e472a and grabbed the handle 6590044952 of her suitcase.129ce34d17c39f8d

After Cassie 3e3cffaa41 got into 8e3e3b74ad a taxi, 7262c73211 I headed aab0f820de to Blair 778fc0d6c6 Hall alone. As if 85ed76cc16 announcing the 64883cf7e2 approaching summer, 51a0851602 the sky 214a8a7304 was as 4a3ec0a749 bright as 45bf7f2602 day even 89e6cadb55 though it 07829a2db6 was 5:00 5b93ee803b PM. The pleasant spring breeze 60f4326ca9 gently ruffled the hem 3cb0d07e00 of my skirt around d85a993004 my knees.ee2ed5daf5381a72

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The elevator was 83782dfd4e crowded with graduating 5ccd6c4319 students dressed to c0b8e6cee7 the nines. I lingered nearby, 132e4e42ad then carefully moved adb83646ab towards the emergency 327dc74736 exit. It would be 5db5b10fc1 a disaster if 5e28aa16fb I bravely got 4f283506ca on the elevator ea4f280b93 and my illness 467dc89b2b was discovered.44ed83c213dc16c8

“Ugh….”112db42d93c3c527

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But the emergency af9a1a3454 exit door was e916d5bfa2 as heavy as 04b0b25a48 a rock. I groaned and 834a0aa9f4 pushed the door e856419b3b with my shoulder. Then, a 58c1e5f06a gap finally a53af0ed0a opened. Through the pushed door, 2d8b12dfb6 I saw neat and 96991d8191 familiar black shoes. Those are….b07b8b993116f4bd

The moment my eyes 9dcc8ad6ed widened in surprise and f8a9fa0620 I lifted my head, 7f6446cf28 a hand reached out 28c3f4a716 from inside the emergency 77694c8c22 exit and opened the 785463460d door wide.61b48afd6377b7cb

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My body was f3856bac3a sucked into the a14aca228e emergency exit as 06e218696b if I was e671988849 falling. As my body aec224030e tilted, a large bdf58395f2 hand firmly supported fe35868606 my shoulder, and fb09abbc50 I slowly raised 9d20227c04 my head. A neatly buttoned 59591119d2 shirt, a wrinkle-free e031f9e34f tie, and a 44e30e11a6 familiar scent that 1727052803 brushed the tip 9bfd16c61d of my nose.f1ddb83b9469f229

It was Remington.e1b5e20f25179061

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“I was waiting.”2ca8b19f5ffa78d7

Remington was 53a11f5e73 looking down d19a611e16 at me, 7bab22fc47 standing upright. As he let 67fb8e104a go of the e2071ac80f emergency exit door, 07dcf60d6c the door clicked e79975bf24 shut behind me.ee3fc97684bbe201

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“…….”20c3b1fb412bbeab

“…….”515d672cb26c6640

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We stood still and af69c8d134 looked at each other 3ac9e1b48c without a word. My chest tightened. Remington looked as fcf49b8f58 neat and tidy ee28e96158 as he did 6b052f1b6a when he was 5eeffaf5ff on the podium. His composure 4c48855297 annoyed me.49e5dbf0cc350810

…I don’t want to be with you.4b82dc84427fd48c

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But the moment I b954d4536b tried to turn around, 23279671fa Remington grabbed my wrist 8c972ff1f6 and made me look 4cda60413c at him again.8e039a339d7845ea