ERSE | Chapter 1.3

“So how’s school? Are you doing well in your studies?”fc3c242cf9639947

“What’s the point of studying well if I’m not going to college?”ed3e343333c42449

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My grades weren’t bad, but I didn’t want to seem diligent. I kicked the floor with my worn sneakers.35bdcab4288f4abc

“Right. You’ve got a skill to make a living, so what’s the use of studying? Made any friends?”e6e01a4eee67fb9a

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“…Who’s friends with someone like me?”6c39c698dcb421b0

I regretted my 257333567c words, realizing they 87425e27cb hinted at someone be9a3294a8 specific.8aa6647e665f9efd

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“Seems like there’s someone. It’s good to make friends. Childhood friends last the longest.”4f7b99fa81dca00f

“My folks say childhood friends are the best for backstabbing. Memories make people naive.”e672c2e9341a0340

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Jang ahjussi thought for a 41a60328e3 moment, then nodded, agreeing. There were no proper bf77d0983b adults around me. How could a child raised a09d1d928a in a world of twisted e272083058 adults have a straight perspective?845ab9123ea1ca3c

After exchanging a few more d7eb994b05 trivial jokes, Jang ahjussi paid 3882507df8 for the goods. The envelope of 0e49fe0667 cash was quite 4b67bdde4b thick. As I counted eef66f38a7 the money, he ad759acf4a said,cbd6f21aa897f1d8

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“By the way, tell your dad to be careful.”c676e025393f722f

“Why bother when he won’t listen?”77797fb32cd884b1

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My face crumpled at the unwanted topic. I nodded vaguely, as if listening to someone else’s story. Yet, Jang ahjussi insisted I pass on the warning.ab8eb878841a3911

“The plan he’s working on seems dangerous. Tell him to get out before it’s too late.”fa88aa5152bf7d98

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Jang ahjussi, dealing with people, 4a23b32982 heard a lot. He was good b8015ee7fb at extracting meaningful 2a3d8d4afa information from the 8b75dae81c lies and boasts c95318a162 people spread.cae06058d6b48f74

My mother said not to ignore his warnings, while my father mocked him for being small-minded. If only they were together, they’d stop somewhere in between…4d3d7fbc476f3fb6

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“Can you handle it with Sunhee inside?”f0ad19cb2b87805b

My mother was sentenced and ff3535edc7 imprisoned last year. I had neither the intention ea375a7149 nor the ability to act a1ff5308d6 as a brake like her.997f41c3c273d9b3

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“If he can’t handle it, Cha Seonghak’s life is over.”881ad3700458f486

Family was a relationship e11459f239 that had lost its 3fe6f014b2 meaning.a9168d1e32102863

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✉︎ ㆍ ✉︎ ㆍ ✉︎dd97cd67c5df0b61

“Be careful going home. There are a lot of drunks around lately.”7fcb458230dc55ac

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The boss said as I changed clothes to leave. His serious expression reminded me of Shin Leekwon’s concerned face on the first day of school. The worried look he gave me when I almost fell off the chair. Unlike my curt reaction then, I smiled and thanked him.c3a8f60179ed1b8d

“Yes, thank you.”7c101e5f003cf8c5

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One should always be on good terms with the person paying their salary. Even if I couldn’t fawn excessively, showing a bit of friendliness made for a comfortable workplace.56e1314f56379d07

‘It’s the drunks who should be careful, not me.’5534352188b73777

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I barely held f29ba49afd back a smirk 6d9567c25c as I stepped 0031ed85f3 outside the glass cc388b691b door. It was already late, 1f4cb67ab7 but instead of heading 7bdcaa7faf to the nearest bus 695b4421d8 stop, I walked toward 7e78e62f8e the park.a647a7a9b4c38c78

I planned to make a f04fd0bb66 quick grab, but the familiar 5023f88999 scene on my way home 253b17221f was disrupted. The patrol car parked in 30d4888bd9 front of the park was 4636a414c7 a bad sign; police were d0f828d57e waking up drunks everywhere.f7234f0073324b35

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“Sir, you should sleep at home. Please wake up.”aa689aeb5ae5e89c

It seemed there had been many reports, prompting the patrol. Not just one officer, so it seemed I’d have to change my plans. Though it was for the citizens, it was an inconvenient execution of duty for me. There was no place as convenient for work as here.bb56582d242c2ede

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‘Looks like I’ll have to lay low for a while.’55ed9c5cc39e466a

In front of the crisp uniforms, I instinctively lowered my head and hunched my shoulders. I hadn’t done anything today, but I hid my tension by shoving my hands in my pockets as I passed the police.2c5c220376b9f8b9

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“Hey, student! Hold on.”ef90dc17df00d99e

A hurried voice stopped me from behind. In a split second, countless thoughts raced through my mind. Had they noticed me stealing from drunks around here? No, that couldn’t be.c5d97aef5dabdee9

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I exhaled deeply, calming my 4b5493e673 anxiety, and turned around slowly. As the officer approached, 432244f9ec a strong tension coursed 6bec483044 through my veins. I clenched my hands tightly 1ade69274d in my pockets.40891000124b9b73

“…Yes?”d676329e9018d5ab

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It was too dark to see the officer’s face clearly. Unable to read his expression, my thoughts turned increasingly negative. Was he suspicious of me? Had they installed additional CCTVs without my knowledge? Did they catch something?07d44768a82c468a

But the officer’s words were the opposite.0e7c1ac114a3a418

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“I noticed that area had broken streetlights and was too deserted. Take this route, even if it’s a bit longer.”55fa85b23121f923

The officer lightly ded922a85d patted my shoulder 9e31b591f7 and pointed out 0ee988511a a new path. Following his long finger, 3265899a48 I saw a row 93d08c6bd8 of working streetlights creating c32a479633 a bright path. Even the bus stop f7061165f4 was closer this way.ac485bac6886ccc4

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Yet, I chose the dark e18fce568e path purely out of familiarity. Darkness felt more comfortable c075efd865 than light, misfortune more 5a587ae733 familiar than happiness, sadness b55af7de0d more relatable than joy. Hiding in the shadows put f3a2ea879d my mind at ease.930bee80eae48e0e

“Ah… okay.”c4dbc55b0f439e4f

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But today, I turned onto the unfamiliar path. I didn’t want to show that I’d take a different route after being shown a good one. I stayed tense until I reached the bus stop, but thankfully, no footsteps followed.9ed66d9f89559991

‘I got scared for nothing.’80f2331129b0f230

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I leaned back 5c052c6964 fully on the 2eb983dc36 bench at the c09ad6435f stop. The streetlight cast a e4ba1c64d2 yellow circle on the f3eda7f20f dirt path. A pattern only visible in 2079e87d34 the dark. Staring blankly at 306e0f0051 those circles, I 813bd88545 thought of my a84dfffd9f dwindling bank balance.8ce09858c4a362c3

Ah, I have so many expenses this month… It’s the time when school finds all sorts of excuses to take money. Of all times, one of my sources of income got blocked, making things difficult.c628d09e20ca699f

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“I really don’t want to talk to that guy…”ef4a261704fa61fe

I had terrible luck with parents, but if I had to pick the worst, it was my father. He’d disappear for months and suddenly show up, disrupting the household. I didn’t know how much he made from scams, but he never gave us pocket money or even proper living expenses.5381801972df6218

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“Still, I guess I should talk to him.”a15c2a996a7a3fd2

A 20-minute bus ride. A 15-minute walk 8f105766d5 from the stop. The steps toward f312bac2e0 home felt heavy.cb624082383c9ab5

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“I’m home.”96f99f0d39eeeb12

As I entered the old 6242b804d4 house, silence enveloped me. No response to my 6b9d7eb394 greeting, no nagging about e928455e78 staying out late. I was long dc9fb21b7c past the age bb7c9b41da of being upset d9a78e5a47 about not being 1b46ab945a welcomed home. I pushed through the b0e0b8f400 familiar silence and turned 0c97a070a5 on the light.49473c88e1e7d78e

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The house, twice my age, 8e72fc0cc1 was small enough to see 7d6c3956b4 everything at a glance. There was no sign a57ebfbd45 of life, not even ddd77beee5 a shadow. The person who had occupied b36371c6eb the main room in the 6a93152b30 morning was gone.5cddd247ee5edb48

Instead, a note was 902a615299 left on the shabby f2cc77aa57 living room cabinet with d9337ec36d peeling cheap wallpaper.93548c400cec6536

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Had to leave for 51d5a973bf something urgent.d82364e7d5db3e31

The scrawled writing was my father’s. He said he’d stay until morning, but things changed in half a day. He probably found another sucker to scam.8db68431c20f5477

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With the timing off, I couldn’t even deliver Jang ahjussi’s warning, let alone get help.78e43e7f8ad16e99

“They say even dog poop isn’t there when you need it.”25b0ca1cac985e54

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I crumpled the paper and 25d57fcd6a tossed it into the trash.3a5484765f3223fb

An empty house, a night spent alone. It didn’t bother me. It was a familiar loneliness.46322146f8487369

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✉︎ ㆍ ✉︎ ㆍ ✉︎6f2e1db1cb1edd6c

“Cha Seonjae, come see me for a bit after class.”8d24e9bb43de0dc0

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As the homeroom teacher f744bb4477 called my name towards 0190d49095 the end of the 98fab1e0dc assembly, every gaze in d46073e6e3 the classroom turned to 041a3750ab me with curiosity. They seemed eager to b1c3255bdc know what I had ef8dffa040 done to be summoned 9df4d5c00c so early in the 53632c3259 morning. I nodded, trying to block f8aa08943d out the attention.2bb83bfc8bb5d1ff

“Yes.”b1edcf31b593ea7a

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When I entered the teacher’s office with the homeroom teacher, the other teachers preparing for their classes gave me the same curious looks as the students. Students often called to the office were usually one of two types: exemplary or rebellious.4728f4acd7e8a87d

Honestly, I hadn’t caused any trouble or even skipped class, so it was unfair to be classified as the latter. But since I wasn’t a model student either, I just accepted it.d8bc1ad79b214961

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“Sit here. Want a candy?”23a640d0c96d6ffb

“No, I’m fine.”cdf86d73b540b233

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I shook my head as I sat on the chair next to the teacher’s desk. The teacher started with the usual small talk—how’s school life, is studying hard, any difficulties. It wasn’t out of genuine interest, just a routine.c9186c512024abfb

When that boring repertoire e9415ea82f ended, we got to 06cd6e2a15 the main point.b5970930816ac26f

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“You were supposed to pay the tuition and lunch fees by last week, but you’re the only one in our class who hasn’t.”59680f84d4ce4ff4

“Yes…”ab0b954afe01c1e9

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Where did I 3d264e8f2d put that notice? I vaguely recalled d41131e0e7 the amount written ff0a05c0dc on the gray 593af6b9f9 paper and bit 500e28e8d3 my lower lip. Paying both would leave 0268653919 me short on cash.e741c4f5899e5c8c

“Tell your parents it’s easier to set up automatic payments. If you can reach them, that is.”37c27f8a3d5c07d7

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Even if I could reach them, I wouldn’t talk about this, but I nodded anyway. After glancing around, he pulled out another paper.b93e30ed302daecd

“There’s government support these days, but you need to meet the conditions… If you need it, I’ll give you the notice.”a425c810616d41d1

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“…”dc5cf50755cc7a22

The paper was filled with a list of difficult documents. I didn’t take it since preparing them would be hard anyway. Another heavy suggestion landed on me.198516394653f818

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“And… if it’s too much, taking a break is an option.”652e23287e944def

“Sorry?”f631cfaf35f105fa

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“I mean, you can get a diploma through the GED.”b7b71223ab602b1b

I slowly looked up at the teacher’s face. Despite the cautious tone, his eyes were dry. Pretending to care, but really just annoyed.652017fceaaa06f1

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It’s uncomfortable for a teacher to act like a debt collector, and a student with strange family circumstances is unwelcome.1cf9df04bbf5ba18

“Okay. I’ll think about it.”fdb56239dd967063

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“Sure. Consider it. You’re going to be late for class. You can go now.”841876066ad7f886

As I left the office, fdd2e3869f I heard low voices through 56b0a1d570 the slightly open door.710469b2cf8e00e9

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“That’s him, right? Poor Mr. Kim got stuck with him.”52591d3dad5b9d68

“He seems quiet at school, but who knows what he does outside.”7872b0622c87b00d

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“If there’s a problem, we can’t even call his parents. It’d be better if he just got expelled…”c5bae9caf71e7e0e

If they’re going to talk behind my back, they should wait until I’m gone. Or maybe they want me to hear.33390daa52f95793

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I slammed the door harder cd392e5ac7 on purpose, hoping the noise 12460dd8e9 would shut them up. The more pretentious they act, 4e63249e86 the more two-faced they are.7a4fa057ffa64d87

“Hypocrites.”4fcca2973eb97761

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Leaving those annoying people 045655659d behind, I headed back 68687f8186 to the classroom. The hallway was quite empty, 92b5199c9a probably because class was about fd539ecaca to start. In contrast, my mind was acde4c3bb0 a mess.4c1177f9d930b238

“Or should I just quit?”08c25946b832d6cd

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Honestly, the teacher’s suggestion made some sense. If I quit school, I’d have more time to work and wouldn’t be called out for not paying lunch fees.9429e5bef3362eae

But I didn’t want to quit school. I wasn’t going to college, but I wanted at least a high school diploma. My thoughts were tangled like a knotted thread.3d53f921c556f7f9

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I let out c937629b36 a long sigh f3cfb82e4d and opened the 24b153dc36 back door of 9e12f974b8 the classroom.06cb1c9b52a4b083

Sunlight streamed through 74c3fd0c67 the windows, illuminating e7016d9784 the empty classroom. Shin Leekwon, sitting alone in 6c78582abf the light, waved at me.8086071d5912ff20

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“First period’s in the music room today. We should hurry.”afc8469cbc878866

I grabbed the 511191631d thinnest book from 51c636ecd0 my desk drawer 1c857cd9b3 along with a ce509cbcf8 pen. Of course, the first period 59e24ae8f5 had to be a moving 6a4817b5e2 class. How annoying.d6398c03a288e4c3

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As I reopened 12719537f3 the door I e514d379b1 had just entered, f5ce6942f8 Shin Leekwon followed f9c99cac23 me out. Watching him lock the back da7211b8d0 and front doors, I thought,c2f2afd86f10ca2a

“Was he on duty?”168e098e8c320809

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I didn’t think so. I stood there, trying to recall his duty schedule, and asked without thinking,cef3324845a99ae6

“Why didn’t you go ahead?”3bcdb03fc5be4a8d

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He pulled the lock 57e6875b67 down with his large 49f53f4a14 hand. Confirming it was secure, 69e513a63c he approached me and 715423f2ef answered,36fe091e08b5863f

“I was waiting for you, Seonjae.”fb4f3565c375ff37

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