EOL | Chapter 2.4

“Is it true?”

I nodded. Sunbae didn’t hide his curiosity.

“You used to sing about Lee Gyeon. Saying you came to the Guide Center to be his dedicated guide, that he was your role model and hero.”

“Oh. Yeah, there was a time like that.”

“Did something happen?”

His voice was full of concern. To avoid any misunderstanding, I answered brightly.

“I just changed my mind.”

“That doesn’t change so easily.”

“Seeing him in person, he was really annoying. So I suddenly disliked him.”

“Really?”

Speak of the devil. A guiding request message popped up on my device. It was about him again. I was about to press the reject button when sunbae’s words made me pause.

“He’s not receiving guiding lately.”

I pressed the reject button. The message window disappeared. I turned to sunbae and replied nonchalantly.

“That’s just like him. It’s not the first time he’s refused guiding.”

“This time, he’s more stubborn than usual. I heard it’s gotten quite dangerous.”

“….”

Is he in a lot of pain now? Is he struggling a lot?

Is he looking for me?

My legs trembled like someone experiencing withdrawal. I kept telling myself to hold back. Holding his hand would drag me down with him.

This life is supposed to be peaceful, Han Haegyeol.

“Isn’t this your chance?”

Sunbae tapped my shoulder. Lost in my own thoughts, I stupidly asked, “What?”

“A chance to leave a strong impression. Show up when he’s in danger and save him. Then he’ll take you in.”

Sunbae seemed to think I was rejected, not the other way around.

“Oh, yeah…”

“When the opportunity comes, grab it. You wanted to be his guide. Fighting.”

I nodded vaguely and stood up. I didn’t want to talk about him anymore. Let’s just shoot a dozen more targets.

“I’m going back to training.”

“Hang in there! Show your skills! You can do it!”

“Yeah, sure…”

“If not, you can work with me. We won’t be lonely together.”

Just before leaving the locker room, I stopped and looked back at sunbae. He raised his eyebrows and tilted his head with a pure expression.

“Um, sunbae. I refused. I said I wouldn’t guide him. He didn’t reject me, I refused. I did.”

“Oh? Oh, oh.”

“This time, I refused. I did.”

I emphasized it once more and left.

❖ ❖ ❖

I decided to have dinner at the cafeteria for the first time in a while. My colleagues, already eating, waved at me. I greeted them awkwardly and joined their table. They were talking about work.

“Just because the pay is high doesn’t mean following high-rank gates is the answer.”

“It’s tough if you have a dedicated esper. You have to keep covering them.”

“C-rank gates are manageable, but above that, it’s just hard.”

I nodded quietly, listening, when suddenly their attention turned to me. One of them, leading the conversation, waved his chopsticks up and down and asked.

“Haegyeol, you can’t relate to what we’re saying, right?”

“What? Me?”

I looked up from my rice. Their expressions were peculiar.

“You prefer high-rank gates.”

“You have the skills. You can handle it.”

“Wasn’t your goal to be an S-rank esper’s dedicated guide? You were aiming for Lee Gyeon.”

They seemed to expect a boastful answer. I finished my rice and replied with wide eyes.

“No? My motto is safety first.”

“Huh?”

“What?”

They all looked dumbfounded. But I was serious.

“I’ll stay in the backup team like now. It suits me.”

But no one seemed to believe me.

“What are you talking about? You used to run to gates whenever you had the chance.”

“I heard you did a matching test with Lee Gyeon. Was the result not good?”

I didn’t realize so many people knew I was interested in him. It meant I had tried that hard.

The conversation flowed peacefully afterward. We were all waiting for either death or discharge, but we had our own routines. My tense body relaxed.

“So he got drunk and climbed onto a truck…”

In the middle of a silly story, all our devices vibrated simultaneously.

[Emergency Rescue Alert: Espers of S-rank, Lee Gyeon (SDF107), and guides with a matching rate of 30% or higher, please gather at the Guide Center immediately.]

I had a feeling, and it was right.

That guy, he didn’t receive guiding until the end.

I told him to get guiding back then.

He must have known it was urgent. Yet he stubbornly held out until he was on the verge of losing control. My hand holding the device was sweaty. I forced my legs, eager to run, to stay put.

An emergency alert meant it was urgent. But my colleagues just glanced at each other and resumed their leisurely conversation. Their attitude was relaxed.

Why?

Their answer was simpler than I thought.

“It’s Lee Gyeon, after all. He’ll handle it himself.”

They all reacted the same. Because he’s popular, because S-rank is burdensome…

Suddenly, my mind went blank. The Lee Gyeon I shared life and death with felt very distant. To other guides, he was someone they easily and simply gave up on. I should have done the same. I just needed to see it as someone else’s problem.

I was foolishly entangled because I couldn’t do that.

“He won’t really die, will he?”

At someone’s casual remark, I stood up reflexively.

“I’m going to head out.”

“Already done eating?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

After exchanging casual goodbyes, I tossed my tray into the return slot.

I left the place as if fleeing. Without knowing where to go.

❖ ❖ ❖

At first, I returned to my quarters. Like an insect with its antennae torn off, I paced around the small room, then went outside for no reason, only to come back again.

My heart was pounding so hard, it felt like I was the one about to lose control.

After struggling for a while, I decided on a small pretense.

‘Let’s just check on Lee Gyeon’s condition.’

I’ll just see if he’s getting guiding, make sure his rampage is calming down, and then leave.

Yeah, we’ve been paired for years. It’s not easy to cut off those years all at once. If I confirm he’s safe, I’ll feel at ease too.

I ran to the Guide Center, planning to watch him from a distance.

The emergency team was in a frenzy at the Guide Center. Those returning from the dispatch mission looked terrible. The gate must have been tougher than expected.

The expressions of the backup team smoking in the flower bed were a sight.

“They said it was B-rank, but it was almost S-rank?”

“If it wasn’t for Lee Gyeon, we’d all be dead.”

“Good thing we’re the supply team, if we were espers…”

Ignoring the backup team’s complaints, a group of guides rushed by. Many familiar faces. All guides with a matching rate around 30% with him were gathered.

‘Their matching rates are too low.’

The lower the matching rate, the worse the rejection reaction. The shock from rejection could be more dangerous. I knew my matching rate was the highest. Even a brief touch from me could get him through the crisis.

I was torn between the urge to run to him and the urge to beat myself up for it.

Until a familiar voice stopped me.

“Guide Han Haegyeol.”

Startled, I turned around to see Cha Eunha in a bloodstained uniform.

“Cha Eunha…?”

“I told you we’d meet again.”

Despite his injuries, he was smiling brightly. His voice was confident, but his gaze was odd. For some reason, he wasn’t meeting my eyes.

“Are you okay? Your injuries…”

“Are you worried about me? Then how about some guiding?”

He playfully offered his cheek. I ignored it and gestured toward the Guide Center.

“Is something going on? It’s chaotic.”

“There was quite an incident. It’s mostly resolved now.”

“Uh, it seems like Lee Gyeon was dispatched too. How is he? Is he okay? Is he…”

“Well, he didn’t look okay. If he’s unlucky, he might die.”

My heart sank.

No matter how many times I’ve experienced it, I couldn’t get used to the thought of his death.

“…”

“You look like you want to save him.”

“…”

“You can’t even lie about it.”

I intended to just see the situation resolved and leave.

But what if it wasn’t resolved? What if he suddenly died?

I couldn’t imagine a world without him. Was that even possible?

Thinking he might die made my fingers tremble.

I was tasting guilt and an unknown fear. It led to a strange self-justification.

I’ll guide him and quickly escape. Save him without anyone knowing and return to my routine. Then nothing will change.

“Cha Eunha, where is Lee Gyeon now?”

I asked him desperately, feeling my face heat up. I was ashamed of myself for not being able to let go of him completely after claiming I would.

“Are you curious about where he is?”

“Yes.”

“I can’t tell you for free.”

He spoke leisurely, but his gaze was still off.

“Let’s make a deal. I’ll tell you where he is if you become my pair guide.”

He said it nonchalantly. It was an excessive condition. I glanced at the center building and then at him.

“That’s difficult. But I can guide you.”

Guiding was the only condition I could offer. He was injured too. He didn’t seem in urgent need of guiding, but espers refusing guiding were rare. He was the peculiar one.

“What kind of guiding?”

He showed interest. I felt a bit embarrassed and looked down. Of course, it would be a handshake, but his question made me think otherwise.

“Obviously a handshake…”

“What about mucous guiding? I’m good at kissing.”

“No, just give me your hand.”

Kissing, really? Even a handshake was a favor. I didn’t want to reveal my skills. Besides, he had previously made creepy remarks about me being S-rank. He was oddly perceptive.

“A handshake is too little.”

“Don’t joke around.”

“I’m serious.”

He leaned closer and smiled with his eyes closed. He awkwardly raised his hand and blinked. Feeling uneasy, I moved closer to him.

Only then did I notice his eyes. His pupils were bright red. He wasn’t normal.

“Cha Eunha, your eyes…”

“I can’t see. Isn’t it a bit romantic? I instinctively followed you. I didn’t know, but I guess I wanted to live too.”

“What were you doing until it got this bad!”

He reacted to my voice with a bashful smile. In my urgency, I grabbed his hand. As much as he was a problem, he urgently needed guiding too. I drew the tangled threads of his waves into my body, unraveled them, and slowly returned them to him.

Even a few seconds of guiding noticeably improved his condition. He wiped his eyes with his free hand and finally recognized me with a smile. This time, it was a playful and relaxed smile.

“Wasn’t the deal to guide me in exchange for telling you where he is?”

“I couldn’t just leave you like that.”

He carefully let go of my hand. Though he still needed more guiding, he maintained a calm expression. He was tough.

“My vision is still blurry, but it’s better than before.”

“I guided you, so won’t you tell me where he is?”

I spoke gruffly on purpose, and he burst into laughter. He naturally wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pointed to a part of the Guide Center.

“He’s in the First Control Room.”

I knew where that was immediately. It was a place he often relied on. Espers on the verge of losing control were moved to control rooms or isolation rooms for guiding. Thanks to him, I’d visited a few times in previous lives.

There was no way to sneak in.