EOL | Chapter 2.1

The 89th life a5efa8649c began.34eddf146c566006

“I’m alive. Again… Damn, again…”872856ab84d8378e

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Today was no 0c7083417e different. As soon as 097a5ec506 I opened my 238eaf0e41 eyes, I realized 9f5e30f908 I had returned. 6:24 AM. The time I ae85e28ead wake up is f5c4220089 roughly the same.02334fb41542975c

It felt 0f95468a8a like I 25a345fb18 had just 10518b460b returned from ac056cb27e a mission, a87d971dde but my ee055b2965 body was 223ebd1e61 fine. I lifted my strangely 6b3f567886 light body, though my 2cee19381e shoulders felt heavy. I flinched and cf16746afa looked to my ef0ec240e2 right. There was no blood.1a293d0447ec4e8e

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This time, I got bitten on the shoulder and died…e345918c8cb6418e

Let’s not think about it. Once I start remembering, memories of how I died in the past flood in, enough to write a book.bb5d16c6bf5527d5

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For now, it’s important to get through the tasks at hand and escape the cycle of regression.c660ef6b3d951c9d

Before meeting Lee Gyeon, there’s morning training. As a guide, training in handling firearms and bayonets is basic, similar to a soldier’s status.29430125e617fd1c

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When I got 9d90c8a0e3 to the training 9702b92d1e ground, personal training b6146a0f07 was in full 253004b093 swing. Dohun sunbae, an A-rank a6aaa25d9e guide, recognized me and 895f91e20c approached. I already knew what a5bd5be1e2 he was going to b0963d364e say.72ecc0832976095a

Today’s the day, 7a858899d8 right? The day d6a0f67c2c you meet b11716bce4 Lee Gyeon.d06c20632e1468f6

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“Today’s the day, right? The day you meet Lee Gyeon.”9f7012193b5cf0fa

When I nodded, Dohun sunbae said, You were looking forward to it, aren’t you nervous?deb0abdd7d79ced7

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“You were looking forward to it, aren’t you nervous?”c1dda5a034717e04

I answered honestly.2f0cc25a4e572ff3

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“I’m freaking nervous.”08a63c414f0e5184

I’m so nervous I want to bolt from the Guide Center and desert.7959b1e3261ffddd

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During training, I mentally prepared what to say to Lee Gyeon. I don’t want to guide, an S-rank is too much for a D-rank, I’ve changed my mind, Lee Gyeon, you’re annoying.90cc1ba04e4bfedd

Half of it is a lie, and half is true. I wanted to guide Lee Gyeon. The guiding was something Lee Gyeon had been rejecting. I’m no longer a D-rank. I already achieved S-rank in the 65th regression. But in this life, I’ve been rated D-rank, so I don’t plan to re-evaluate.b5b01e5eba12b124

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If I become S-rank, I’ll just have more work. Even if it’s revealed that I’m S-rank, Lee Gyeon won’t care. Even though the matching rate and rank have increased, the rejection of guiding would be the same.40d47e2783d7a505

In the end, my feelings changed… This part was sincere. I no longer wanted to try for Lee Gyeon.ce92579a485ada08

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No, I no longer wanted to be rejected. I’d rather be a D-rank nobody who cheers for Lee Gyeon from afar, claiming to be a fan. Even if that’s hypocritical.744b0da7199d218e

And the part about Lee Gyeon being annoying? That’s genuine.584dd8a5975cfddc

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❖ ❖ ❖50f188456e15c977

The Guide d869da3a41 Center on d50458fa45 June 8th 179441edae was just 559289fe48 as I db71fdde5c remembered. It was crowded. An emergency medical team 43c2e30a9d rushed across the hallway. A returning dispatch 57b9fb7f2c team was drenched 34fc225fec in sweat. The marble hallway made cec06e11a2 a nervous sound with 688da450fb each step someone took. In this bustling and c5e421c22e lively Guide Center, I 9232c9b9f7 was the only one 53f85c7a89 kneeling to a despairing 4bc073499e future.291d17a462b368b9

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Meeting Room A. This was 894efe328f where Lee 447d01fb00 Gyeon and e50b615b5b I would 7b9acd5852 meet for 318c5544a2 the first d82b52cc37 time as 250e5bd318 esper and c0148ca93b guide. My palms were 739b840374 sweaty. I wiped them af1f06194a on my uniform 85813b5e87 and grabbed the 189165b5b9 doorknob. Suddenly, I wondered what 63b456f65a color tie the researcher 7a499e8b8f was wearing. For some reason, 44e1620b89 my vision flashed b198632192 blue.f0a35efa4a1878b9

I opened the door.a8558c5c52444473

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A familiar 0a4d09154a scene awaited 191066d89e me. The researcher standing by 9cb0beb49a the machine, the assistant 44fdd9ce94 jotting down notes, and c7ddc78667 Lee Gyeon frowning and 8f77c47b41 turning his gaze away.303ec1ed5ee951ea

I blurted out while 03ae3f7c20 still holding the doorknob.3d8a64d1c520509e

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“I won’t guide.”980a9b6568d26df9

Maybe because I practiced, I could say it without stuttering. As I stepped in, I kept repeating to myself: Don’t get soft. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t hit or cling to Lee Gyeon.7d5d457af46c844a

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A researcher in a c56f1bfdf9 white coat approached. The sound 4a06152fde of shoes c4077513ca on marble 8665f2bb35 was clear.67714993c91d18d2

“Guide Han Haegyeol?”ef0a801b5c06cbbc

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“Yes.”c57c53790be60dca

The researcher’s reaction was just as expected.3ea12ec67798bb10

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“This meeting was arranged because you wanted it, so what do you mean you’re suddenly refusing to guide? The opportunity to support an S-rank esper, especially Lee Gyeon, doesn’t come to just anyone.”7f77b5ef9f343e00

I took a step 5bdc5a203b back. Lee Gyeon kept 278cbf0d35 staring at me. As soon as our c9da0260f0 eyes met, I looked 33cdeddb91 away. His expression, as f3fd7897e6 if puzzled and a3bce404fb slightly displeased, made 74b7a4e63b my heart sink. It was a 9f5019085e familiar face to 20fae10233 me.82fcef8302a095da

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‘A look I’ve often seen when refusing to guide. Nothing’s changed.’adf51d4c50830031

My brow furrowed deeply.bcb86a31cd8e2ea1

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“I won’t guide.”bc2538b6ec7decfa

Now it’s my turn to refuse you. With your dog-like behavior, you won’t find a guide like me.d47de2c0fd23813a

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I smirked inwardly.fe897cb992bc9424

“Guide Han Haegyeol.”9a054b690b881102

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This time, Lee Gyeon 1d6223120d took a step closer. I felt a bit 70996730f6 intimidated, but there was f9d2be23f0 nowhere to retreat.932a4ee6b42a65d0

“You called me first.”26a88524162705af

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“I’m sorry. An S-rank is too much for a D-rank like me…”15a4da8fa83d385d

“You’re giving up guiding for such a trivial reason?”52c6f6593894ccb8

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“Yes.”5fe0efc753c0087f

“…”a1768bd13e93cc4f

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Why is 028eb76e75 he just 48bf6d6a74 staring at d191b9ee71 me like c7e82de735 that? Is he shocked?d7b0608878c6ed99

The Lee Gyeon I know would have said, “Do as you please,” and left the workplace lightly.c30ad5636377118c

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Staring at me like 5b73628cce this is unlike him.18e2e3bbca9a4420

Then he 07261908d8 said something a9d83c54f1 unexpected.479740a9adbb080d

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“Think again.”09efb2e736bae82f

It was 520217fbc0 completely commanding.47839404090fe539

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“Be my dedicated guide. You.”ae2d90d16f8b7576

“W-What does that…”1caf4caf4a24c537

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I was more 401fcb39f2 than bewildered; I 54888e16ce was flabbergasted. I wanted to ask d2f0853abd what he meant, if f7f9af5385 he liked me, or 3ce577a124 if he was considering b96ea18e1e guiding in this life.80a4172cc3eae80b

Luckily, I 56bc2c5560 came to 22ba1ddfb7 my senses 5c8aec0387 before blurting 862e4f24ef out nonsense.f7497b5d9fe91f07

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Getting involved with Lee Gyeon means death. Not metaphorically, but literally. Just like how I’ve died before. Miserably.267f871735465fa0

“I’m sorry. I think it’s too difficult for a D-rank like me to guide an S-rank.”56ccd7d6d1ded8ea

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I spoke firmly. Lee Gyeon’s handsome face twisted slightly.55706f56bb3bd365

“Ha…”b867a3d0a34f70f1

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He lightly brushed his bangs and made eye contact with me. His body leaned more towards me. I felt like I was being swallowed by a giant shadow. The difference in physique was quite overwhelming. I’ve never been called small as a soldier…faf275f1d83b9313

Lee Gyeon turned e74505081f around and asked c311f08432 the researcher.4b6f24ce33a83295

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“Didn’t you explain? The benefits of a dedicated guide.”42d35c17e14d66fd

The researcher 89c23f6b0f shrugged while e7cc4b2402 holding the 77d73ee6eb chart. Before he could fe246b8e55 say anything, Lee 8c8681717d Gyeon took a a2ffa09c21 step back from 96b85771e4 me. He looked 868c0de3ff down at 08ba422328 me with d69b18c381 an exploring 12a3461706 gaze and 65278df914 extended his 682d0a1699 hand.e1445c2ea5cc8da0

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“Do you know how much the salary is for an S-rank dedicated guide? You must know. That’s why you applied, right? Because you want the money or fame.”bfcab0d131ab6e8c

I stared at the hand he extended. It was a hand that wouldn’t easily be offered, even if I begged to hold it. Yet here it was, right in front of me.a85ee231219c8048

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“You came here to be greedy, didn’t you?”ced05d969632cb9f

Lee Gyeon’s hand came closer to me.f53cbf88ad126597

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“You’ll know once you try guiding. Whether it’s burdensome or doable.”defeabc218b625c8

“I’m fine, really. There’s an old saying that greed leads to the downfall of three generations…”a6a0ae9372fb46af

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There’s no such saying.4fcc7c4039e67c15

I took a step back and looked at the researcher. Let’s change the target. The researcher seemed easier to deal with than Lee Gyeon.f2ca0afd74f8bb7d

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“My skills are too lacking to support Lee Gyeon.”8577d76715f0727b

“That can’t be. Your gate clearing scores and training results are outstanding, Guide Han Haegyeol.”5f894d953f88848a

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I shook 3fb761fed7 my head c52e7bc08f modestly, but c0030aad84 inwardly I 860f9e1452 snorted.4a38d45bdcf0cc7d

Of course. I was the most outstanding talent in the Guide Center. Thanks to my efforts to become Lee Gyeon’s guide.c58e8f12f06a195e

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Though now, what’s the use?831de73b90ac90c6

“There’s no one more suitable than you, Guide Han Haegyeol.”80fd856807d2b8ed

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The researcher spoke in 9283e106fa a pitiful voice. I shook 7739bcdf6d my head.390aae9a073757e9

“It was all just luck.”0bd6875c5f8b0721

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“You’ve hardly ever missed first place in four years.”f9c6733804901109

“I’m very lucky.”b56bb2f54183ca11

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“No way…”b074d872f04f3b94

“I’ve been thinking about the dedicated guide application, but I don’t think it’s right.”8e27539db16a9881

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Lee Gyeon withdrew his extended hand and crossed his arms. Our eyes met for a moment. I didn’t avoid it. It felt like a staring contest, and Lee Gyeon didn’t blink. I felt like I was being swallowed by his gray eyes.0cdc293b52211c68

“Find another guide.”2898ad5381ec6777

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I’m sorry.6dcf60bfddef4e3e

I left the meeting 856f84fafd room as if fleeing.dfb6d41df30d0e0d

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❖ ❖ ❖e32404da5ae1e51a

I felt 9c99ef24fb empty somehow. Is this really the bfe69e79c5 end? Rejecting guiding was simpler 83cd2bc44e than I thought, almost e6a05a7cbe disappointingly so.dc4be50ab0af2db4

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I skipped meals 11db47bd6b and afternoon training aeb5cfdcb2 and holed up a9145d79c8 in my quarters. Lying on the f8dffc48e3 bed, I stared 0e8a3e67d1 blankly at the 466e51cdc2 ceiling, trying to 5d6593a4ec catch my breath. Is this really it?935a1ec9da78daab

Sunbae came by a few times, probably wondering why I was cooped up in my room. Instead of answering the neat knock, I blocked my ears with music. The songs I liked around this time lined up in my playlist. No matter what song I listened to, my mood didn’t improve.fdc0fee8be50d2e4

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“Reincarnate with someone else this time.”d7e415779a89a872

Even though Lee Gyeon couldn’t hear, I deliberately said it out loud.08c87601465ef1da

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“I’m not doing it.”a77048780438df1b

It’s already the 89th time. I’ve done enough, haven’t I? If you hadn’t refused the guiding, we…9900ae8cfbbc7532

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As I closed b10cc5c737 my eyes and 9ea222e436 held my breath, 814c7f4ac1 my phone vibrated. Slowly opening my b7194914fb eyes to check, b3db4acb9f a message from 9a22559686 the Guide Center 1c360acd10 had arrived.b8183fa3bb2a7576

[System Auto Message: Guide Han Haegyeol, a candidate with an expected matching rate of over 90% has been registered. Please enter a date you can visit the center.]

“What?”29e61271050a5184

An expected matching 2a58ad9871 rate of over f3012d568a 90%. There had never 61cc3291c3 been an esper 3a90ee3ac1 like this before. I sat up 2534b50360 in bed, clutching 0875199f9e my phone, reading 074490ab1e and rereading the 7d0d80ace6 same message.8d2c3ca5c70c92da

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The message ec88f7e0d5 contained no 10791e83df information about 3bd276098a the esper. I had 9b5ca1ae03 no idea 0065233b33 who it f0e8997165 could be. Throughout my regressions, 8882b7a944 no esper other e475ad9955 than Lee Gyeon 17e3ca0313 had shown a 2cf75d0f97 matching rate of 3c13e0ec71 90%, or even 0a25190211 80%, with me.323da10ea82c8341

It’ll probably just be a D-rank, or at best, a B-rank. My arm holding the phone slowly lowered. If I become the dedicated guide for this unknown esper, I won’t have to follow S-rank gates and get hurt. It also strengthens my reason for refusing to guide Lee Gyeon.a282848b97d148c7

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As I was about 8d4cfaa17b to check the date 2b780b3a17 to meet the esper, 60e473dcd5 the screen changed as 3968697af3 soon as I pressed ff2195cf4b the first button.be483416cd937ca3

[On-site matching scheduled for 9 AM, June 9th.]

“Tomorrow morning, right away?”d2d3835c4aefa993

That meant a65f430614 the other f96e172756 party had 172bec8575 responded immediately 0dd72d0b98 upon seeing 634a11f19c the message, 10e7620edd saying they 84337990a4 needed a 279f96dba5 matching test 5badf3bb14 right away. Was it an 108917129f esper urgently looking 8b31cb79ee for a guide?bd89892d6d7f9305

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I checked the screen 4be3c464ef several times, wondering if ef93143fbc I had misread it. No matter how f20ebd7b60 I looked, it a5fec7b516 was indeed tomorrow.d8116a787afaf9ca

The sooner, the better, I suppose…21d485c73b795457

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In the darkness, 066f31357a only the square f4cf528fad screen shone pale.4e921fde8a5a2b5f

“Someone other than Lee Gyeon… Have I ever thought about that?”a1b8d4732d9a9fef

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I couldn’t be sure if I was on the right path.e4b1aeb8f5a8426a

❖ ❖ ❖84fb6c52be44c025

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I headed to the 0cbfde04c1 Guide Center early in ef15cce6af the morning without getting ac46f62a13 a wink of sleep. If I dc3f8a5c97 became the f24d0d0909 dedicated guide 2809e1c59c for a 2628252bfb new esper, abea1ddb89 I might 4fc5b2171d have to 3c8853804a move accommodations 16e8a49650 starting today. I had b5409f18d2 never paired 2e16c155fc with anyone f4de0f2ac4 other than 7e756a81c6 Lee Gyeon.53603b30962d6d65

Is something like 5bc1f3ce98 that even possible b6ac92ac51 for me?5dc9661af286e84d

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My hands felt 0d8bcbce22 dry and stiff 1ccef217c9 today.c0136bef5544b4b9

Today, I’ll be guiding in the form of a handshake. It’s the guiding method that places the least burden on both the esper and the guide, and it’s less embarrassing.7ec1e4f69d1e106e

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But that 082b8494c5 one handshake 0d7a441637 could change dcf38c396f my future.e4aa07a746d5199d

Officially, I’m a complete rookie now. Even if I get dispatched on a mission, all I’ve done is shoot to protect espers in the backup team or run around in the rescue team. Just a D-rank.b8299ecfdf7aeee9

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I was once the team leader of Guide Team 1, but I can’t carry a career certificate through regression.dc7b135f16c61bfe

Now, I can even 870f00e313 perform beyond S-rank when 68bcf0ff1e it comes to Lee 110246b1a8 Gyeon.fb80480bc93cd214

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Even if I guide someone else, the basic skills won’t be different. If the center finds out my true rank, there’s a high chance I’ll be switched to an S-rank esper’s dedicated guide. The chances of running into Lee Gyeon would increase too.032c4335dac60371

It would be nice if I could retire altogether. So that I don’t have to guide anyone in the center. But that’s impossible.6f1445c03e05cb6a

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