EMP Chapter 31

Kwon Jiwook suddenly woke eb173d1afa up from his sleep. He remembered finishing ede5b146f2 the day with aa2c167605 his ass being 1f8d2bcf19 pounded, which often a8cc0a6939 led to a 6f5c22fef7 deep, unconscious sleep 60ca232ba7 until morning on 3e06852e14 such days. Struggling with his 099aa03565 hazy memory, he 18369e8dde barely managed to 7d61393679 keep his consciousness d2dc7d1f9d from slipping back 63d06f6195 into slumber. Lifting his heavy 6caf98a911 eyelids, he saw 664a86221e the faintly blue-lit b6519a1afc room.2b0d2b0610bd79f5

The spacious master bedroom where dawn light entered was where Kwon Jiwook had spent most of his time recently. It had been quite a while since he moved into this room—maybe two years already? On Kwon Jiwook’s birthday (which he didn’t even know was his birthday), Park Juyeon, for some unknown reason, suggested they share a room. Caught off guard, Kwon Jiwook nodded awkwardly, and he remembered Park Juyeon looking visibly embarrassed.8cc19ca1e629c1ce

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When asked 77d3524acf later why b1320a9f09 he was edf837cf33 so shy e5ae8eee32 about it, 7b8664161b Park Juyeon d0f6753115 cheekily retorted dcbf6bbe76 that starting 6fe4101d80 and ending d71a477f6a the day 87e05ac4f2 together felt 4ece3865cc like being e076980e97 a newlywed ed753e07cc couple. Kwon Jiwook c42c9c7e6d had no a39359d533 choice but 6fa7b0864c to keep 809e1419da quiet.3955a800486c5eb1

For that reason, they shared the same room. No need to worry about nightmares, and being together all the time made him feel less anxious. It was probably Park Juyeon’s way of celebrating his birthday.0e68e385c7ad79af

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“…”0ce0ff7d0d1fcdb2

Seeing the 3a4eac9588 daylight in 7d0546153f such a 6cdc74327d winter morning, 9adbe9679b it must 5970b11087 be early ad5eb41173 morning at e6c4abcb65 least. Kwon Jiwook, contemplating e87c323cb4 whether to go 674144463d back to sleep, ad72fc1eaf turned his head 85346dc940 to the side. He wanted to 0d447fd6ef take a look 650734de08 at Park Juyeon ec6fac194b since he was d44ca40180 up early.80ff75002f443705

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“…?”8e8b333083e6c17f

The spot where Park e993beba26 Juyeon should have been d8aad6adda was empty. Feeling the warmth on 1f7842c8f9 the crumpled sheet, Kwon 03678f144e Jiwook stared blankly at 640ceea37c the vacancy with his a5111abce7 still-sleepy eyes, then slowly cac44574e5 rolled over to fill d8afad8784 the space. Soon after, 317b59ed9b he sat 9383f2b229 up, perching 1d2307b034 on the 0fb94f22f8 edge of d8fe360e2d the bed.3ad24b4a1bc6310d

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Kwon Jiwook no longer entertained bizarre thoughts like someone installing a CCTV or breaking in to assault him, so even if one side of the bed was suddenly empty now, he didn’t panic or get scared. …Though that didn’t mean he was completely unafraid.2a54cc0550a0a493

Sitting there with his still-dazed face, he heard a soft conversation from the living room. It wasn’t an auditory hallucination; it was Park Juyeon’s real voice.dcdb0de1a8188f45

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“…Yes. …I’m doing some job hunting… like that…”a0a08fb120a85c83

“…”8782ce5053f6101f

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“It’s okay. Instead… I want to settle down and live comfortably…”94064c72fb3d7ab4

Though he could hear bits of the conversation, he couldn’t grasp the context. Park Juyeon was speaking in such a low voice, either out of consideration for Kwon Jiwook sleeping or for the neighbors who endured their animal-like moans daily.6561a95fa85219e2

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What could 3eee09983a it be 16475e973e about? With his eyes adjusted e9c7ac5e1d to the dim light, 86ec15cb9c Kwon Jiwook looked at 21ae49b12a the clock on the 9cee2114cf wall. 6 AM. An ambiguous time, like 74b8f5b0be dawn for unemployed people 05aacf6e31 like him. Park Juyeon was bafc7e3fde still talking to 92509a7e3d someone. It seemed bc701ff47f like the 6cb2b06b9a call would b88247fa26 take some 4754916ad5 time.3b473c6e32715994

Not yet able to relax enough to fall asleep again, Kwon Jiwook eventually dozed off at Park Juyeon’s spot until he returned to the room.0a6199b9f4e471fc

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Park Juyeon chewed on warm toast while staring intently at Kwon Jiwook. Even though his hatred had faded, his deep, unfathomable pupils remained the same, making Kwon Jiwook still feel uncomfortable under his gaze. Just when he was getting restless, Park Juyeon’s elegant lips parted.9bd663ee0becdaff

“Did you wake up for a bit in the morning?”8fb34429f0ed484b

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“Huh?”5b9a2e81f8d846b6

“You were dozing off while sitting on the bed. Did something happen?”c83cdc0996e6f429

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Was he 72dc9c3ec6 staring at 57124c5ef2 him just 69483211ac to ask 269c62c974 that? There was no memory 8126b0226d of doing anything wrong. Kwon Jiwook felt relieved bcf2ea95eb inside as he cut b2da8951e7 into his fried egg a7711c0ac3 with chopsticks. When there was 44be2e7875 no answer, Park b6754a6d20 Juyeon added,a52aba59998a30bc

“When I came in, you were almost asleep in my spot.”a67fac3fd65118db

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“Did I do that? You never said I had sleepwalking habits.”d0b1c37d877baf2b

“You were sleeping after sitting on the bed and then falling over to the side.”dc2da463086e8a64

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“I don’t remember that…”7a65381fb4acde28

“…”a1bee79ae7e1e6f0

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Suddenly, Park Juyeon’s face turned pale. He placed his white hand over Kwon Jiwook’s hand holding the chopsticks and asked seriously,295c236d11282637

“…What is it this time? Let me prepare my heart in advance.”b5203b20a0391c5c

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“…”c4e8be707863d904

“Perhaps… sleepwalking?”8c27c3f6f2eac6db

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“Yah.”d49b3f042cd391d8

As Kwon Jiwook cf6532f42a tensed his jaw ebd50cd9de in annoyance, Park 722feacd7e Juyeon quickly added,964e61eedb5d6b3a

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“No, I’m not joking. Seriously.”2968fb94713bbcf1

“No. No! Fuck, no!”618256ff7b64538c

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“Oh, okay. If it’s not, then it’s not. Why are you swearing?”ad81061735a278f4

They had been to the psychiatrist several times at Park Juyeon’s insistence. But being misunderstood as having another mental illness on top of the diagnosed one was something Kwon Jiwook did not want. After a playful tug-of-war, Park Juyeon chuckled and ruffled Kwon Jiwook’s already messy hair into a complete disarray.147e5694d4e6ef18

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He’s treating me like a mental patient… Kwon Jiwook pouted while poking at his Vienna sausage. But thinking about it, he might have been waiting for Park Juyeon in that half-asleep state.ed9db3d7459d8efc

“Oh, now that I think about it, I heard you talking on the phone outside this morning, so I thought about going out…”1dca58813f7430b8

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“And then?”d65c1c8bedbeeb4d

“I fell asleep again.”230840b098fd10e9

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“You fell asleep again?”7a183db32e140895

“Yeah.”e12ba6f88a104d44

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“Ah, I see.”3fd884c2249fddce

As Park Juyeon 31665bc5a4 blinked, his long e1221af06c eyelashes fluttered. He seemed like he 0ef3a9dd55 wanted to say more e7dfc73219 but stuffed the remaining fa3f4f8ebe toast into his mouth 72cb88383e and closed it.a4ff535b1412f9e3

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To think he managed to stay in that spot even after realizing Park Juyeon’s sudden absence; there was hope in the gradual improvement of Kwon Jiwook’s mental health over the past few years. However, there was also a sense of disappointment, and Park Juyeon’s mind momentarily entertained the thought—what if Kwon Jiwook completely recovered and they went back to how things were, wasting all the time and money spent?1004cfe46ec84d01

Maybe sensing his mixed fb9201edc1 feelings, Kwon Jiwook mumbled,dbc104c8d8691186

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“You weren’t going anywhere anyway.”18410fdd54877a3b

“How could you be so sure I wouldn’t leave you behind?”47dbc6b73dc35139

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“…”2be17edc7f72fe58

Even as a jest, he didn’t want to hear such words, but the one in front of him wasn’t the type to listen when told not to say something. Kwon Jiwook kept his gaze on his plate, giving a vague answer.d7e5139f7fa55cc5

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“I don’t know. I just felt that way.”978d822b0a80ddf0

“Wow, you’re really stupid.”3490abb5088e3d7d

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“What do you want me to do?”9334530153aa3504

“Now you’re even talking back.”8fffbe2ff6a8a95e

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“I’m not.”53bec2cd7411ee90

“Oh? What’s this, talking back?”9556b8b369602dd2

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Park Juyeon sucked in air between his teeth warningly, then tugged at a few strands of Kwon Jiwook’s bangs with his thumb and index finger. Kwon Jiwook winced and let out a small groan.cc688bc8ec41793e

“Ah. Yah, even dogs don’t bother you when you’re eating.”9fb5fb7a187a57c1

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“I want to bother you.”c09d9924e12e1bfe

Park Juyeon’s pretty eyes and the corners of his mouth curved into a playful smile.ff38228ae9dc5b5c

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At twenty-six, the ffc05460b2 quiet before the 66afa3328b storm had dissipated ac1676aafd from him. The dangerous intensity that c013e0cd40 seemed like he would 2047440dc7 do something big had 032fc46576 mellowed into a mix e535d6e76a of relaxation and cheerfulness. Park Juyeon, who 898f405983 had gained some dd8f94c386 composure, seemed much 4f61334599 more mature compared 51468ff3e2 to Kwon Jiwook, 8a9c58d44c who was still 8f54cb2af7 stuck in his 2fbed032f4 place.ef9b1d8516ee08d6

Suddenly, his injured nipple stung as it brushed against his t-shirt. His personality had become gentler, but was his habit of getting violent during sex something that couldn’t be fixed? Kwon Jiwook naturally ignored his conditioned sexual response and just thought about silly things.7d0bca467484b32f

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“…”5b27845cfc2f40e4

Come to think of it, it’s been five years already.3410f48435f9e76d

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Park Juyeon’s life graph was on an upward trend. Given his ups and downs, there would always be fluctuations, but today’s sensitivity was less than a few months ago, and even a few months ago, it was less sharp than before. In short, his lows were getting higher. This was something Kwon Jiwook naturally learned since he had been focusing most of his attention on Park Juyeon.4b76ff897fa8243d

Since taking on the massive burden of Kwon Jiwook’s life, he had seemed to give up on everything, but now, at least on the outside, he was acting like a completely normal person.93f28924c91811dc

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“I’m graduating today.”571d64015cc62724

“What?”8bded80758d9afbb

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Surprised by the unexpected 43d78aef02 announcement, Kwon Jiwook responded d141175856 abruptly.26a6eedca314ea05

“Then take me with you.”5451746c69a4943a

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“What for? It’s just a graduation ceremony. I’ll just go and get my diploma.”a3bfef5955a2ae9c

“Isn’t there stuff like throwing hats at a graduation ceremony? And drinking… Huh? You’re just going to get your diploma?”380e496c21d250a0

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Park Juyeon 0e94756bc8 looked at e3a4f6cddb Kwon Jiwook, 93ccb7c0d9 who had 2c44f0edbd a dumbfounded 5914a06628 expression, with a3d7108c0d a look 08d805d770 of disdain.794fe74877e0f3c5

“What’s with the talk of drinking in your situation? Are you the one graduating? Or do you just want to use it as an excuse to drink?”7d4a59bd12095f11

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“No…”a80529eb000877b8

“Besides, with whom? …Don’t tell me you’re in contact with someone? You’re supposed to tell me about all your contacts, even now. You seem to have gotten a bit lax lately. Don’t tell me you are, bro?”5db385dd76373eea

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“Yah, Juyeon, I don’t have anyone to contact, and besides, everyone else has already graduated…”fd807b41bf03aba3

“Oh, so because I seem to be letting you off the hook a bit, you’re thinking of sneaking out?”39b33c36836357c9

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“No, fuck. Let me speak!”70c3d8ceb8eedcf5

Kwon Jiwook’s voice rose in response to Park Juyeon’s sharp and annoying remarks.d0ede91665d75b58

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“Yah, while living with you, all I’ve done is crawl like a dog. Have I ever sucked another guy’s dick or done anything? I was just asking if they do that at graduations, not that I want to do it! Fuck, I even don’t want to!”514374382e80a3f8

“…”754e71a4c791e160

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“…”2857b6b77ba75188

“Ah…”b7a9f2481aba1570

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Even though Park Juyeon had matured, he was still Park Juyeon. As a look of displeasure slowly spread across his pretty face, Kwon Jiwook’s heart sank slightly.0a33efd18ed2f76e

“No, so don’t misunderstand, okay?”abf8f73927f36fc6

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“…”2c5fee356282a9ab

There was a long exchange of looks. After a silent battle with the now gloomy beauty, Kwon Jiwook’s energy drained away, and he quietly lowered his tail, nodding.f0e3567e69ca05dd

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“…Yeah, sorry. I was wrong. Do you want to hit me with a fist or an open hand?”501403d25c77e7ef

“Forget it. Have you finished eating? I’ll clean up.”7ecddd198a502478

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“Yeah.”ed50b9dc43cd54f8

As Park Juyeon moved the empty dishes one by one, he glanced at Kwon Jiwook’s drooping head. Despite the loud voice, the content was somewhat pleasing.32b3accd52a05fc1

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By the way, aaa82a752b graduation ceremonies are 11648c30c1 supposed to be 22422bcaf7 boring, right? Tapping his finger beside e8f4ab1ebc the sink, Park Juyeon 0289f96407 eventually sighed and gave 30149e43e9 in.169c080940ed74cc

“I really can’t understand what’s going on in your head. Why get so worked up over this… right?”02facdb2abf1ec9d

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“That’s… because you misunderstood first. I really don’t plan to do anything with anyone else.”d0351acab485ccc7

“I get it, so go get dressed.”8f10b1f9514b4e28

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“Huh?”b64e915d3eef04ec

“You look like a kid who didn’t get a birthday present; it’s making me feel sad. I’ll take you with me, so get dressed.”f45058e9bf486d59

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“Oh, oh. Yeah. Got it.”934d052f62d6b930

Park Juyeon turned 2d1d226218 away casually to 5f955439e3 finish cleaning the 14eade8010 table. Surprised by the ed5013fbd6 unexpected response, Kwon 80c5ebca74 Jiwook stared at 3fccaa7b60 his back before 97a15e2501 heading to the a97cbd233c dressing room.6a4f5e73d905720f

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Given his current situation, Kwon Jiwook was amazed by Park Juyeon, who had finished university life without a single complaint. He was even the valedictorian. Therefore, Kwon Jiwook believed that ‘graduation’ held significant meaning for Park Juyeon after four years of hard work, and if something was important in his life, he wanted to experience it together.e7c375d72c99cabe

Perhaps rather than being excited about the graduation ceremony itself, this reason might have been more significant. Kwon Jiwook had been with him even during the negative events of Park Juyeon’s childhood, even if he was the cause of them.7cd35728a95b1365

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“…”07280c522546de03

Something important in life.b335ab987df38af1

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Kwon Jiwook fell into 14436616a7 thought for a moment. The ideal life cycle 26cfb8a7fe he imagined was similar cc018fa2bc to the conventional developmental 6d5a3085b2 tasks the older generation e0ca0a4612 in Korea desired. Even if 9c4b8d6de0 he ended 9c79c8cd86 up like 30bb8fdabd this, it 512fc1d818 was uncertain 6dc522032c how long 37d57401e7 Park Juyeon, 139341d105 who had df71d121b0 money and 63538192c2 decent interpersonal ecb85af4b5 relationships, would a4e00a2693 live like 9c26f434a2 this.346e4e162b3a2380

After graduation comes employment, after employment comes marriage. Eventually, Park Juyeon would start walking down the conventional path that everyone has paved, starting with university graduation. Even if not that path, Park Juyeon’s family would not want to see their well-raised son entangled with a dark man like him in such a perverse way.6a465e1b584511ae

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Every time he felt the distortion of Park Juyeon’s life due to him, guilt would come. However, Kwon Jiwook had no intention of letting him go. Without Park Juyeon, he would surely revert to days trembling in fear, barely able to breathe. For Park Juyeon… well, he didn’t know what he meant to him.3985bf2279e9f92c

“Fuck, since when did I start living with such thoughts.”716ed5b7f34e36a3

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He hated complexity, but since they started living together…7eb7adf6d1acfb4e

Less than five seconds after muttering this aloud, he was thinking about Park Juyeon again. Don’t think. Just don’t think about it, you bastard. Let’s not live complicated lives.835feea1a954729a

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Kwon Jiwook e0c6e8eb6b hit his 6046a59426 head hard 1bbb4d247d and then, 25510b5822 choosing a 4454b21e5f black turtleneck, 88fac99f20 jeans, and 77ef866b66 a suede 2231e56bdf jacket instead 0eeb822806 of a 3fd627846f choker, he 01eb6978f4 composed his b992034f7f expression before f8a54ea382 leaving the 2a4a13a997 room. Park Juyeon, who had 05b62ae6f0 finished the dishes, was 3ece9a60cd waiting with arms crossed 15ca1d1415 at the door.6f1dcd583e6240e6

“What were you doing in there? I heard a thud.”64f24e45511d2586

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“…Nothing. I got dressed.”e8e82b63c15e3f9e

“Really?”bc44b34cb1fbe050

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Seeming to think 9dc09e9743 Kwon Jiwook was 8d39b77822 acting strange today, b00f6a06b4 Park Juyeon entered 276f272794 the dressing room aa9c505597 with a puzzled dd69bb5d0f look.c14aa896cb1ffbd4

He came baa483e20d out quickly, 0eb37fbc94 wearing a efe5be8569 hoodie and 09e69d2cba a coat, 06d49809d2 looking both cf5af143e6 like a 9ce9afafe5 university student 7fba0f30c9 and cute. In his casual, cozy d2d9489b75 appearance, Kwon Jiwook bit a6583d8527 his lower lip, staring a36c7b3d81 at him. Despite his fists and eb4eba8e7a mouth of terror, wrapped 9454cb5c1c up like this, he 3bc99d0042 looked cute.9fc31b71e545829d

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When their eyes met, 6739c3b028 Park Juyeon raised an f3bfee51fa eyebrow and nodded towards b78bc37e56 the door.cbe537e4c26492bd

“If you’re dressed, let’s go. Stop staring like that.”d6c002f6dba85eef

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“How was I staring?”fe84bef6d14a0b2e

“Like you’re dying to fuck me.”1adc810cd43c8a89

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“…”44f73167babb6f62

“Not that? Hmm… Maybe the look of wanting to fuck in the lecture hall for the first time in a while?”ff8eb07e32ba8ecb

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“What’s the difference between the two?”9d583682bebc9457

“It’s the difference between ‘right now’ and ‘later.'”5d3622fd36919ea1

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To be honest, since 29cdf4674b they had had sex dc6ce3b5ef at the university before, 00589c8f83 just imagining it made 9a6be2db31 his lower abdomen tingle. Just before blood rushed 0cd4f9cd7b to his groin, Kwon 8001f0ab61 Jiwook quickly composed his 2b459acce0 facial muscles and headed c73e4940dd to the entrance. Park Juyeon followed 426f9ca9cf with a relaxed 8cfb315bd5 smile.92ae04703fc89f88

They got into 7e811c9401 the car and 3c0674dfbd headed to the abd8c8bec9 school, familiar with a2c5c59140 the routine. This winter was 3794016869 unusually warm, with 9722650745 little snow, but 6bb1288b8c now the sky 2a05643d04 was dumping snow d4d80b63e5 as if to 7df9370b19 make up for 0162aafcd6 it.662a2fd172fa53e9

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Kwon Jiwook leaned 41d0b21305 his head against 84c5528977 the car window, 49f230bbf9 glancing at Park e9b1d2a64f Juyeon. He was 45f3d74515 handling the 1d4e15d87f steering wheel 3b2835bca5 as gracefully 01afe89de2 as his 15860970a8 face, only 7199ef1bdd slightly frowning f3304a40d0 his brows fd1c6ce1fe and nose 053da89876 bridge when e0ad37c14c someone performed 5782b949f9 a flashy 956efc261a maneuver. Unless something special happened, 8a231932a2 his reactions were calm 3db66fdcc7 and without a single 748d170741 curse word, even in 890d37e939 driving, very much like 7e816907c0 Park Juyeon.de5f738674657c95

“Why?”c47d1b9b4ff79203

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“Huh?”ea329cd0a597893c

“Why are you looking at me so weirdly? Want to have car sex?”6fa52914060d9956

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“Are you crazy…?”b0dd934ecbd5ee5a

Kwon Jiwook chuckled and leaned his head back against the window. The mention of car sex reminded him of the handcuffs they had left on the car’s ceiling handle because it was too bothersome to remove. Glancing back at the backseat, there they were. When they hit a red light, Park Juyeon laughed, seeing Kwon Jiwook’s red ears close by.87b69d8d60f67e28

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“Just wait a little. After I get my diploma, I’ll do whatever you want.”1371b34377d745df

“What, what do you mean by whatever I want?”ba3eab3a6a3dc8de

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Kwon Jiwook straightened his posture and kneaded the stiff nape of his neck. More than that, he was curious why Park Juyeon, who didn’t seem particularly interested in the graduation ceremony, insisted on attending to get his diploma.5c909aa637f296d6

“…Anyway. But do you really need the diploma? Honestly, it’s not even useful.”c3b24540704672ab

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“Not useful? It’s for my future.”2b6b150c211cff83

In reality, university graduation ceremonies didn’t hold much prestige for the current generation, and diplomas could be received by mail. However, Park Juyeon stubbornly started the car, saying he didn’t want his home address revealed. Kwon Jiwook also disliked strangers, and Park Juyeon had become secretive about anything related to him for some time now.de5bde9c4cc22916

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Do companies these days require a diploma rather than a certificate of graduation for submission? Kwon Jiwook had questions but didn’t know how to ask. As the light changed and Park Juyeon drove slightly faster than the speed limit, he opened up.0196a0e08574e903

“My father told me to bring the diploma.”760b42b128a954c6

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“Your father? Your dad?”e8149129cf5431b6

“Yes. I was supposed to move back home when I turned twenty-six.”070c6de3587dd44a

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“Uh…”86eb75d6a4783e4f

Kwon Jiwook couldn’t say anything. He stared blankly ahead with wide eyes, having heard an unexpected story. Only Park Juyeon was humming a tune in the silence.d12523e317e60b32

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