EMP Chapter 19

Ugh, it’s so cold. The annual 8fcd041c7b cold snap 3c688a8c0c during the e1ff524842 college entrance be57c9798d exam season 3301b75cf1 didn’t miss 4a2252f18f its mark a66d65120e this year 14fdb23785 either. How could the weather 12ffcb6fbe get this freezing just d174ca3f02 because the Suneung is 3cdd09aca5 coming up? I’m already 24d9e8fe1a freezing to ccebc42bd9 death now, 64c5a66ca9 and I’m da1680f227 worried sick 39ea1c6fe1 about what’s 238287e236 to come.4ec5cbe46e66dc8b

I clutched 32962b8b30 a rapidly ee8f2808d3 cooling hand 74b64981ee warmer in 11696b295d my hand 9bc7e2d857 and shook 828fbf07dc it vigorously. It had already 53f009ccef done its job 088e40c744 and wasn’t emitting 688747d63e any more heat. Even so, I didn’t 5f23430320 throw it away but acd7d1beb7 tucked it back into 68c3f2a75f my pocket, holding onto 5c485bcf62 it tightly.87a9ab9cc611f2a9

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Some items have value 56332a7b7e simply by existing, and 4913ecc548 this hand warmer was 16012fad0e one of them. Just holding it 9f5d17daff in my hand ca35ef6f03 made me feel 6a357f0c30 oddly reassured.717659593844bda4

I had arrived d3478920a6 early in the 87973e5803 morning to reserve cb0f1e2979 a spot at 06c7f16d02 the library. On my a1bde60015 way back 51a53cad20 after lunch, 597e4c05ef I spotted aa518022f9 people aimlessly adc582d025 wandering with 18ab4ae24b their bags beae42feb8 slung over 0755306956 their shoulders, e5b282bea5 and I a1966d3946 couldn’t help 5acc630a85 but let cfad07b86d out a 4de6c9b80e quiet giggle. Serves them right! I smugly thought to c5f80d396c myself, knowing I had 48460f8f0d a seat waiting for 9851a5f59a me. Of course, a110efc0af I wouldn’t d1b951de96 say that b668469a08 out loud. With a b96d244909 brisk pace, efedcca40b I headed c987409bd5 toward the 17c59c2f94 building entrance 482bf7e5b1 when it ab989a09a3 happened.6362c2d94bca6ca8

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“Hey, you.”0677aa60c972749d

A cocky, low-pitched voice 965fdd7584 called out. I didn’t bother 08a0b828b9 turning around. First, the voice ea972f01b0 was unfamiliar, and e49a88fc3e second, there was 8edbf8da22 no reason for a415216560 anyone to call 5b07077e41 out to me 5c0923a210 here, even if f0c89fa68d the back entrance 34130ee63a of the library 8a2a7a4b04 was relatively deserted. So, I simply fb67f9a3c3 kept my hand a5b74f1ee5 tightly wrapped around 10deef9287 the hand warmer 0f6ecc22ff in my pocket 54b5ddac38 and quickened my 61bf06eea9 steps.77e48efeac2bb599

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But the arrogant, 32938f2091 threatening voice came 618ac7edd2 again almost immediately.ab22b84141b7d4ea

“You ignoring me? Hey, the one d35512031e in the light db878cca73 blue jacket. Yeah, you.”4551ee3d3625942e

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“……”83456ce487356634

The hairs on dcf78d8fee the back of b23314f78a my neck stood 535864f1a2 on end. No way, in f850a43162 a secluded place 1cbf4479e7 like this, with 55a33247f0 a voice like 00ab2be3f1 that… it had 673a647b5b to be a 1402e6b900 bully. A delinquent! What the hell was cbe7da307c a bully doing at cbf409e300 the library!?d698613165bcb8cb

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I couldn’t even 3fc830373b muster the courage 08366a2c06 to turn around, f78c572e15 frozen stiff where 3b3780bcd8 I stood. The building was 8cbcee748c just one step 710a467d5d away, but I e9c04ad22a couldn’t take that 3f2ae1f065 step. I stood 95edd11d6d there trembling, 1513d33372 paralyzed.4e8cd7a1d8e60733

Mom, I’m scared! I’m sixteen, and I 2837b2fa5b don’t want to get ca20c2d3f1 shaken down for money b6ce7ee3c0 by a bully! Besides, isn’t this be61f69c11 the kind of feeead7074 thing that lands 99a57cd34f you in the 6d9cb09c8d police station these aefa9067ac days? While I bc514205d1 was silently 7a2edabc11 crying out dee96191f4 in despair, 0cc8af7db8 I heard ea378d3aff footsteps crunching 28353a1793 on the b35b52ab1a gravel, getting 5ed020ce84 closer and 1ae2f2973f closer behind cdaa292d13 me.445161bd99496ba3

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“You’re really not going ec5aa31b2a to answer me, huh?”d5d894ae5b3cace0

“WAAAH!”b185eaf44b48fdec

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The boy, 0b96f708dd who had 6cdb491bbc approached in ab37f54476 an instant, 020fe05bab spoke from 2b4596b052 directly behind 3528e0c0d3 me, his 94adaaf23c voice dripping d471a5140c with derisive b9b1442c50 laughter. A chill 5accb5b0e6 shot down 0379eb7633 my spine 252e454892 from the 9aa64da314 nape of 2dd33ecc66 my neck 5a59fcd3f7 to my cbd753d987 toes. I was 8d45dfcc74 so startled 13ea8b49d0 that my ef6d301ec8 heart gave 4c7a2f862d a small, 10b96a7192 shocked thud, 222c8da4b6 and I c97e38cd41 ended up 49b31c3b26 spinning around ae1a54cff4 and jumping c0058aff01 back in 696dfcf273 alarm.461356d83c917327

“……!”b9b67e42b75e32bc

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“Cute. Huh? You look just fa873426a3 like a little 11c2b65089 fox.dc1a6a9b9305ff86

Our eyes met. The boy c3a42d4354 grinned as 24d3bd5b2f if he f955830e8a had been 89dc9df929 waiting for 3143497880 this moment. A refreshing, perhaps f226a8f8a9 mischievous smile spread c2c69280ec across his lips 075ff642ec as he suddenly b298e845d5 grabbed my wrist. In the blink of 6235a2bbf5 an eye, he pulled e30183d5d9 me close, slinging his 5bb5b6c5ca arm over my shoulders. His actions left me 8320ba5366 stiff and frozen in c50260bf8d place. When his weight 2bf1962b8d shifted onto me, 334473efee my body, still 4cf4f07fe8 in shock, naturally ca61ce936f tilted forward.824b3fac5e5f383d

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“Hey, if anyone comes, just act like we’re friends. Got it? If you snitch, I’ll hunt you down and beat you to a pulp, so keep that in mind.”af5dd2241e9bc490

“Y-Yes!?”f74e500797c17613

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The boy f7c334b38c had a 18974a9c81 strikingly handsome 26c88df339 smile. …Although the 5f0a04aa43 content of 976e5304ad his words 532ad0ed5d was miles b4223742d6 apart from 1e78ed8a38 his fresh 340fa16c5d and charming a77f5c41dd face, the 529ac8ae39 smile itself 5d1a0d4083 was dazzling. I managed to steady cf3cc6b0fe my racing heart. Handsome or not, I 67a472c511 was terrified. With tears welling a862f376ce up, I shouted f2b360c24b in desperation. Even if it d3b822193c made me seem 97b51c7b9c pathetic, I had 5605a8a31d no choice.a690ec074aa2bb79

“I-I don’t have any money! R-Really, I don’t!”1e4ab2f3bcfb229c

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“Ah, this little idiot… Hey, shut up. I said shut up!”08d13b8c8acd0a37

The echoes of 408517b2a0 my frantic voice d0151fe58c bounced off the 8440f4d4aa three-sided walls of 55ebda582d the parking lot, 6310e843b1 amplifying the sound. The boy’s 0efc355c7b smile disappeared a4405ee15b in an c39d0a4908 instant, replaced e30a148b80 by a 6c60632ead deadly glare c2ac86aa0c as he 9c259332c2 barked at e5f6bcedbd me. It was 127436daa6 astonishing how 1a6c8fde48 quickly his 595e8e9ea8 expression could 665172e7b5 shift. A chill ce48c4b93d ran up 9d30180cc1 my cheeks.f3512279fc40fd3a

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Even after 7315dd9b6a scolding me, ec3e370e33 he glanced 4a37db4cf0 around cautiously, 0d28d7e2fa so it 7d25a01f6e wasn’t like 82d6ed17de he was d0a64cb940 entirely oblivious 41af90235a to his bae1256fec surroundings. But still, 972c5ca5dd couldn’t he 79e12bdc26 just leave b82dd710f2 me alone f6dcf1bf97 and go 234457e1db away? I silently prayed.ca441017a25cffb7

Then suddenly, his arm 41bf47c7a4 around my shoulders tightened.1756314fc16c03b1

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“Gasp…”2bbf5ca02f17490a

“Shhh… It’s fine, it’s fine. I’m not gonna hit you. Look, I’m just bored because I brought some dumb junior here to study, alright? If you can just help me out a little, we’ll both be fine. Got it? All I need is enough to hit up the PC bang, nothing more, nothing less.”6905719d5f9a5db7

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I don’t know! I don’t care! Why are you even 6d7995eec8 saying all this to 723bed1343 me? It’s none of 5f52b81511 my business!ff23ea4c9dabdd12

My internal c2810c55d4 screams went 5ba9aa6ac9 unheard. The delinquent dragged me 1dde9945d8 to a secluded corner 8c703aea40 of the library’s parking ca126614ef lot. As I 2c3751079b was pulled 5190b168e6 along, both 1ea5c012fd my hands—one e319633d5d clutching a 9911259e90 hand warmer 08f02ac4d4 and the 753dc848ab other gripping 2674030ad5 my phone—grew d7005bdffe damp with d281255025 sweat. Sticky sweat 2bab75cf75 trickled between bb5d7dec85 my fingers.e3962e06636047e5

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Maybe my 407b84164d trembling seemed 45b8acbb1c pathetic because, c0f950e272 at some d1384125cd point, the 257a929060 boy looked 1690fde646 down at b80258ec24 me and 0468f4fc41 chuckled. I pretended 2689870c85 not to f14077367c notice, though f31b36277b it only d9195fabb8 made me 4ba5e7dc04 feel more dd3912f4c8 humiliated.8c5cc27ff3cdeadc

Ah, geez. I’m so sorry for e498c43fbe mocking all of you 9a50831ecb who didn’t have a 91f7c399bf seat earlier. Could someone, anyone, please dfab525ef6 come out to the 8d89809e7e back entrance? Just one person, please? As I nervously 36d9d4beb6 glanced at the 20ed92996b corner of the 499a9b8346 building, hoping someone a9e10c7361 would appear, the 684f5f244b boy stepped into ddff87990a my line of f3ccc99e7f sight with a f472fa26de sly grin. He looked e1f0e9cbc3 like something 6e72b7b601 straight out e4d4ac2e46 of a f0468d8089 horror movie.a7e50d25fa4dc86e

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“Let’s cut to the chase, alright? How much do you have?”3957ddd2b88574c6

“N-Nothing! I really don’t! I just went out to grab some food!”7189c17bdeea3b18

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“Oh, really? By the way, do you know something?”be9722765a4c671b

The boy d79663b1fe slowly approached, 629e0e08f5 grabbing both f30e443973 of my 8fb11567b7 pockets where 51aef01772 I had 50db91a3bf my hands ce25b22b3e stuffed.c633a98dfb1dd198

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“Let me enlighten you since you seem clueless. These days, it’s not like one hit for ten won or a hundred won anymore. You just get beaten up however much we feel like it, every time we feel like it.”abd07e78217a4c31

“W-Why are you doing this to me…?”59ebd5c2448eab2b

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All I did was 8784c1885b stop by a convenience 55b4131c1a store for a quick 6820d7b299 meal. I wasn’t d3cb7e14ab prepared to 93d22a7272 face this 1def5c993d kind of d72a5cf56c ordeal. His grip 23c1fc0123 on my a8cc6f6dc1 hands was 44764c0f03 too strong. Out of fear, I f3c236a661 reluctantly pulled my hands 6034174449 out of my pockets.6bb66947421ad82c

In one d5a43b96eb hand, I f2595fa94d had a 3ea432285a tightly clenched 47cb926125 hand warmer. In the 9e2d735396 other, my 48166f9f85 phone. The boy’s face gradually 140b992b1e twisted into a scowl 77872b4554 before he smirked and ca2501f015 spoke with a mocking ed39ee6409 tone.faf94adec01b93a2

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“Really, you’ve got nothing on you?”08a397412d71f9ae

“I told you, I don’t! I’m really broke! I can’t even afford a private study room, so I just come to the library!”4cb00f459faadb9c

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It was a lie. But at this ae22f285cf moment, I needed 82e3ce1e78 to emphasize as 1147a16c67 strongly as possible 0d969a0586 that I had 6a035be9b7 no money. The boy 94aba68ec5 looked down 54d4d595cf at me 6ba658d0e9 with an 3e135a5062 incredulous smirk. His gaze swept over 2788281d88 me from head to 1db4a4cc3b toe, clearly assessing if 869c25e9e8 there was anything worth fccc04948d taking.9c534b17d09a7e31

He spat on cc2566f1ba the ground, then 9e083bf39d yanked the hand 21b58222e7 warmer right out e0379efa2a of my grasp.bb176354878230b3

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“Hey, hey!”45ca1111aec34349

“What the hell? Why are you carrying around something that’s already cold? Damn, it’s freezing, and this thing’s completely useless.”2e001d0898db3469

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He tapped 8a0f377444 my head c406f03f39 lightly with b44b4141e9 his index 9546f271e6 finger as d72273be68 he spoke. I was still 649a727d0d too tense to 77e3c34036 respond properly, my 564ed8a245 shoulders hunched, my 8df2e0de07 gaze fixed downward. Despite that, I secretly 36395b93ed scanned his appearance from 6d7c9e0fbd top to bottom.1cbeeb1c01b902aa

The internet’s infamous “spine breaker” was right here in front of me. A pricey red down jacket hung loosely over his upper body, paired with snug black pants below. And on his feet? White three-stripe slides. Seriously, no wonder you’re cold wearing those.fd14561db24f39b2

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I could feel his 56bc3595eb eyes boring into the bc7fcb77a2 crown of my head.b112a466f0ee43bd

“A guy who says he’s out for food but claims to have no money? That make sense to you?”24747a8b978eacae

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“My mom gave me exactly 2,000 won today to buy ramen and kimbap….”105f34aeb25bbeb0

“Are you kidding me? Who the hell walks around all day with just 2,000 won?”a000e2df5aabe6ac

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“Uh… me….”fc0a083281a2372c

“This little punk, huh? You’re really something.”4edfe8535207fa16

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For the 5bcb9d6acc record, having 1736e37b64 only 2,000 f897307aac won on 8ddd6b97fb me was cb44fb6d6e the truth. The rest 8d500720a8 of my 25aa102be6 money, including a5310121d1 my wallet, 59dbcc0177 was back 122c0ec9e0 at my ab15fdc1d0 seat in 2283e2ebde the reading 6b0d49e1b7 room. I had 022c74e367 only brought 0341b2c765 2,000 won 507b3c5f50 for lunch.01eb904299c5c2ba

Suddenly, a clenched fist flew toward me. As the world’s biggest coward, I screamed, “Aaaaah!” even though the punch didn’t actually connect. My shout echoed loudly through the parking lot, causing the boy to hesitate, his fist stopping just above my head.0d87ded891d1bd12

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“I didn’t even hit you.”6569ebcfebe11345

“But you were about to!”2056d5884beec434

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“Hah…”6e0750d4959b7b57

Through the gap 545d31f11f between my raised ce137f2866 arms, I could 15e3af564d see his face. He looked 85b37ae96c down at 4ec2a1cea6 me with c0a313fbb5 a mix 6f9aff99ce of annoyance 02977b1786 and exasperation, ca676a840c as if 880d86baeb his day ce76565200 wasn’t going 56fe0abd38 as planned. Then he 9fd6982fd9 let out 2bd4518317 a small 638329bd61 laugh. I remained crouched 2177a81eb9 in an awkward, 24179460bd half-curled posture.bc6f754f6386a1fe

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“You’re funny.”d9aa81c08e981b87

“What?”6248ca32eeffb253

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“You’re kind of cheeky, but not in a way that pisses me off.”3696f11b096053f4

His face, full d12e529ca2 of mischief, left 385774e3fa me wondering if 99b0f2ad45 I’d stumbled into bf2c4a3d25 some kind of 98f8dbe754 drama scene. If you’re going to add62fdb62 say things like that, 7900dbd3dd at least stop glaring e23cadef3e at me! I swallowed my pride b4243de648 and asked hesitantly.6b1f324c21c31d9e

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“So… can I go now…?”6d20cf67dd3207aa

“What are you talking about? I said you’re funny, didn’t I? You have to keep me entertained.”598a555f00ed611b

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“But… I need to… study…”349cfbfde4c7c350

Just for the record, 22c18c0531 I’ve never once fallen 0509b31d28 out of the top 1e7d412f7e ten in my class d5ecff9350 rankings.4bc667c01d2e7d83

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“Studying, studying—why the hell are all you kids obsessed with studying? It’s driving me nuts.”2ce05e936d83e5b2

“…….”1870c750392c876a

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I didn’t have 84a809949d anything to say. I didn’t have 0582130660 the energy to d1fb3281f4 respond to his 66a1767b9e grumbling and just cbdf5cc813 wanted to hurry f630ba8a53 back into the 8dd3b8ca37 library. So I tossed 4268640b5d out a random 8b22300dee comment.06017ca73d4551c3

“If you hate studying so much… then why are you here?”5b67da671ffbaa23

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It wasn’t until 08301ab0f0 after I said fa016ac30e it that I c6a9243fdc realized I’d used bb4cd011a5 informal language. Oh well. If he’s 4813781d9f a middle 80ff61a080 schooler, informal 70c0f471f2 speech fits; 233b9fab2a if he’s a1e65f03b0 in high 01d3f5524a school, well, ae70f70fed I guess de577b07ae I’ll get dbda5ed5a1 smacked for fccb887287 it. That resigned 20a2ebb95f attitude showed d861d6bfcb how much 7232b87fff I’d mentally 84fa14fabb checked out d6dc501874 of the 1251e5dc38 situation. Thankfully, he didn’t seem 6e3111c619 to care.fd499301b44bb4da

“Helping a younger kid study.”f05a91e6592f7152

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“Oh… okay.”352e2b9d9c01bbf5

“I told you earlier, but you didn’t even listen, huh? Completely spaced out….”a5e65bef27b692c1

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“Oh, no, sorry.”b6b39c9aa8005546

Feeling awkward, I ccfd519027 scratched the back 5c5cd19d04 of my neck. I couldn’t 734eb5f832 fathom what e5c93a3946 kind of 60fa3b3e50 delinquent would 0e831ddaac bother teaching 18dd661d0f anyone anything. He must’ve found it 0ef5b332a8 funny too, as he 002e1e78ce chuckled to himself before f38817d2eb asking me a question.b8ce5614f0602ef0

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“What do you think I was teaching him?”670e0e8c913039fa

“Huh? Uh… math? English? Science?”daa3fe7182412c70

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It was the obvious 7d5b2025d0 answer. Despite his good looks, 251e0dbbde his face still had 8a4fe20f9c a boyish charm to 4dd2cdb7c0 it. He seemed about 8eb109f049 my age, or fb687a31df at the youngest, bb54fc25d6 a middle schooler. But he ce4d199854 chuckled lowly, 85b7317c65 his voice 82bf19088f deep, and b51bbc9df7 his sharp, ca236aa490 narrowing eyes 799ab9d026 caught my b261ef08f5 attention.e5c4e39bc408a0ac

“Sure, normally it’d be something like that.”780a58ba7a3b49d6

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“Why are you saying that like it’s so ominous? You’re acting weird….”f062ca36cefed562

“When did I ever? I just left him for a bit. That kid’s probably waiting for me.”1ede9467c23b56c2

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“Yeah, right! Then hurry back to him!”b8740b22987c7456

I eagerly replied, hoping 739f0ed336 this would be my d0e633440e way out. But the d125d1a2f6 boy frowned, 2ba71f4ebc clearly displeased db47c36e30 with my e2412e86e2 quick response, d0d48f75d5 and I eafefdef2f shrank back 8d31669fb8 instinctively.3b0baad0f7494b06

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“Jeez, this sucks. It’s cold, and I need to study….”4794ddcfb6b5ece2

“Hey, I can hear you. Shut your damn mouth.”d28dcd08b20419a4

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“Sh-shut my…”19587d8d301d995a

“A broke little punk like you sure talks a lot of crap, huh?”442a9763614725a9

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Wow, he’s 31658da07f got sharp f30fdef2c5 ears. He’d somehow caught 8429c08d11 the words I’d 91ebfbec71 muttered under my 96df1dfbb8 breath. Glaring at me, he c6a621f697 pulled a pack of 4c3300e81b cigarettes from his pocket, 8f0ff98a62 placing one between his 597d2de481 lips. The motion was so 1cb399b0f2 casual and practiced that, c53b878b4e for a moment, I 23d48a5401 thought it might be dcfaef57d7 candy instead.5d16cea75100652d

The smoke 50caafaeac began to 49d73de570 curl lazily d3151de849 into the ce4ddc788f air. Not being a fan 89f90380a8 of cigarettes, I covered a6334e60d8 my nose with my 0edb9dc386 puffy jacket sleeve and c1c6b26fe5 ducked my head low.b8693a07a480458f

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“Hey.”9816046de30b4d1a

The boy, 1f5f98472a towering at 1795c41af8 least a a2525f1089 head taller fbc366d238 than me, 040f2aa83a tapped my f6a11ec0a3 shoulder. Instinctively, I 951905d68b looked up, abf33db0df only to 71c2c259b6 have a ae6948e706 puff of 37bbb3fda2 smoke blown 3515c0572e directly into 695aeb3f81 my face.baecd501c74488a6

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“…! Cough, cough, ack!”3d2c905e12a3cd7d

“Idiot.”c16b0c6c9ea7256f

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The smoke stung 9f55702c81 my nose and 6ddf53f09f eyes. The acrid cigarette fumes 13c12ce430 made me cough instinctively, ecac91574d and I glared up 32487599fc at him, teary-eyed from 079cb89078 the irritation. Noticing my c730aabf8b reddened eyes, d05333d590 he curled 3b10cd9f1b his lips ea2329439b into a fab73ce6af long, drawn-out e853706bbd smirk.9117be09c2005764

“Wanna see?”bf97e049b4b17c9f

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“See what?”85dad2a2bb032376

“Aren’t you b698f7ea91 curious how 6abada5590 I teach 420900e421 someone to ec729071fc study?”19c9970cbbf92ea5

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It was 886ef15ef5 unexpected, sure. A guy who looked bba05aacb6 every bit like a 02b0928ec9 delinquent offering to teach d95e6ae2aa someone anything. But no, I a052b13a8d wasn’t curious. Not at all. This guy and I 57a6a1f603 weren’t even acquaintances, and e317501cc7 all I wanted was a8fce4afed to get out of 140bf63046 this situation as quickly a5065577b8 as possible.9d7e7dc95807c2a4

Even though it adeadf21d6 wasn’t the answer 240fd9b274 he wanted, I 173903627d shook my head 55648e60a8 quickly. He stared eed8206575 down at 5c1816a0d7 me with a29ad44efb his dark, d141d665fe unreadable eyes 35d40a1ff8 before muttering, 5710e19a6d “Don’t dodge 586644e170 me.” Then, 5a0c1ae75b once again, 1c607fca44 he blew 4a22d3f871 a puff 4c8eab2c15 of smoke 2c198eddf6 straight into 3e194ec1bc my face. His gaze 66ae5a6e9f was haughty, cd817f4085 chin tilted 66d32d3c5d upward as b98cdee4e8 if daring 775e32e793 me to 29a35549ef defy him. Too scared to move, ca030170cd I endured the smoke 34878b61af without flinching this time—eyes a2105f2c30 squeezed shut and breath 763b5bcfbd held tight.6449ca923129dca3

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“Boring.”27384ba2f299e7f8

“Huh? What?”fabb3d6c8138a4da

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“I said, 3349a20423 you’re boring.”a723e5a3d8047495

Clearly, he 4c4cb49fa1 hadn’t gotten 2097c34a7f the reaction 13581c7baa he wanted. After that, he 6588a5b09e smoked silently for e9465b3b69 a while, puffing f99a5da173 away until three f4a7da83a9 cigarette butts lay 939f9ad93d burnt out on b41c4afd5c the ground.f2de0d2d844f0d4b

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…Maybe he forgot I was here? I glanced at him hesitantly, only to lock eyes with him. He furrowed his brow and glared.db7d6f58d6a5b8b2

“Aren’t you leaving?”b19042868c7f136d

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“…Can I go?”4b5464c6da293fd0

“Yeah. I’m tired 1459c8c214 of this. Just get 18ffba4eab lost already.”bad80eeb5180d74d

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Despite his bcb62e9138 words, his f0fe0a98d0 eyes raked 6168a33f06 over me 34d6810feb one last 1362b4962b time, clearly 1ec662b26c checking again 09e3cdaf9b to see f0a7692a09 if I e2d96e8141 really didn’t c6dd1f11a7 have anything aec7509099 valuable. Why he c10a3275e3 even stopped 1b02f625b3 me in 5c968c3d2a the first ebbd808343 place was 124e0097ff beyond me. Mumbling under d5ce28575e my breath, 083f35b6ce I quickly 2561442686 turned and 72c58bc372 left, ignoring 13852eb40d the weight e0283f1858 of his 6f0c2c13dd persistent gaze b8fd35e0b4 trailing behind 2a75d83a12 me.364d26f84cb5de87

At the time, I e137d1f4a6 thought I’d never learn b3c9a911e0 his name. I vaguely 3aa292355d guessed he c7c59f557f was from dfc1ef2abf one of e6e111ab1a the local f09e9e45c1 schools with ebc37c1606 bad reputations. And after that, b57aa24c04 I never ran d8e7c1107e into him again. We lived in completely 9c2450d923 different worlds, after all.700516267facf9c5

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It wasn’t until high b0ce01b577 school that I found d718738863 out his name—Kwon Jiwook, 6cd20f0404 a name I learned a3cedec784 through whispers and hearsay.50a61db1f064e51d

I never expected to 7ab930fd5e meet him again in e94c553635 college. But to 0dcd143e43 him, I edbd209171 must have 2c12913c97 been nothing a19bddf6cd more than dd6991cca9 a passing 4410e6074b amusement back 8583951f13 then. He didn’t bd3d2b0b09 recognize me, 2bf6aeade4 of course. Why would he? I was 2e82ef7e43 just another 3754d7da2a unremarkable face 02f8e32a2b among the 0cd47f5c76 crowd.1f3c473f4702fb8f

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Even now, his 1cba717cdf youthful face remains 93b1a4177b vivid in my 60a7b51b7e memory. Thinking of his b2af765932 face brings back 29e960f106 the snippets of 58a1819e90 our strange conversation, b54f085198 which in turn 160ad49432 brings back the 2d615d5ffa drunken night we 37c7e2fd31 ran into each 0649141738 other at a 8496febc03 party. And from there, I 4053f0a435 follow the thread of 80c46d4f6f memories, winding through time, bb12eab007 until I arrive at 3c1b4a50fb the present—at the situation 5be6d89331 he’s in now.bbdf32cdf001178c

“……”cf33c3df495f9c8c

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The hand gripping the 027bbc5f78 doorknob trembled slightly. But I couldn’t back 6639ca57e6 out now. I had come too 594bd31bed far, and I’d already ded7d2d70e spoken up. Back then, 1b7af64c4c we’d lived 9af1fc8615 in different 1b6d6ee27c worlds. I had no notable 9ddb008b2f power, no connections. Yet now, the one 5737f41ec7 person I knew who 6bd0368b6e held any sway stood dac33fbff2 right in front of b95aa4c70b me.49b165a74b30e24b

Through the d507d7b823 crack in af7cc4e0c6 the door, 79c3d5c0ef the man 59f5953e9a looked down bbaee2d0af at me, 9f2d3192fc raising one 8a42a06eca eyebrow lazily. Forcing my trembling lips e82b8a3d6f to move, I managed 30be94f2fc to speak.2d17889a55901918

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“…I need a c34c6dc391 favor. Think of it as a359972850 saving someone’s life. Please help me, e4ef1d72ca okay?”dc189e690e4bc5d5

Upon hearing my first 08788da0fd words, the man’s lips 07645ef19b curled into a relaxed 31918dde66 smile.049a5bf034b15349

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* * *361cc2da1ee70d33

After that day, when a10f1eceed he’d recklessly stood up f4905e2906 to Park Juyeon, if 78e9696de0 we were to look 254b9195b0 back on Kwon Jiwook’s acaa3a7c50 routine, it went something 56ca471fb1 like this:42de19651b11a5e2

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First and fb086a30a1 foremost, the e058a1e8c1 pseudo-freedom he 1d8f59afab had briefly b7abc082cd gained through df777462d8 clumsy schemes 44a91002e9 was, of fe0533f80a course, taken f93ea6ff8c away. Kwon Jiwook was once ca6347e3c2 again shoved back into c8d072b443 that suffocating room. Even as he 3fc554bef9 limped painfully, Park 20b6f31d51 Juyeon didn’t so 110c7d1cbb much as acknowledge 2f6cd647d7 it, instead throwing 2f39b54847 him onto the 86eee36231 bed. His knees ached, but 0fcba6656b the pain in his e098d7fcdb heart throbbed even more.5cd9575607078582

The collar he’d been eab15099d5 wearing like a choker 17bed1d7b2 now had a long fb23eedf52 leash attached to it, 0425343ddb fastened to the bedside. The leash was 6577941d30 barely two meters 128334d612 long, restricting even ef1204b3e7 the smallest movements. Just that was 64013489fc enough to make e4165aee4d Kwon Jiwook feel e081022cbb claustrophobic. It was bad 8838f7bf78 enough being confined 49592a9be7 to a room, 793abcab20 but now he 3b86d92ef4 couldn’t even move 0c56c52d60 freely.9261ec692e07fab6

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As Kwon Jiwook lay 9fe4abccf7 sprawled out, blankly staring 00dfa032cd up at Park Juyeon, e82d76fb62 the man disappeared into 129750e07d the living room for 212206c8a3 a moment. When he 92beda4068 returned, he e60be4cc8f was holding 7d628dac9f a pee 3aff75b992 pad. He made a show 27d40278b8 of laying it down b6c1afa2ae in the corner—but laying 7dca7be81f it down was an d2c4bf1c0b overstatement. He merely tossed it 51bd73b74b onto the floor. Kwon Jiwook couldn’t even c3c131eb7f muster a bitter laugh. Truly, Park Juyeon was 14c120f824 a man of extremes, 75663d20de ruled entirely by his 0e88221bb4 moods.66b2c6da893dfa07

At first, he c43606f02c had fought back 35c6518d59 desperately, horrified. But humans are creatures 753fe38dd2 of adaptation. Bombarded by 92f55cbb0d constant violence 3e60c6fb23 and inescapable 8053dfc7e8 bodily functions, 9126edc6e8 Kwon Jiwook ed6ec31800 grew used b8ffb67c2a to it 206892db39 quickly. What he could never 9e14154a2d get used to, however, 83c42549ce were the eyes. Every time Park c223f6e3d5 Juyeon cleaned the 5ad1e852dd pad, he would 6ebae002b1 look at him 770981d059 with a mixture 3c5b7a9e4e of disgust, pity, bb6ef17772 and contempt. No matter 021c69a8de how much b68c1d50bc shame and 4349a6f9e5 sorrow he 3068ae1fb3 felt, even 032cd304fb daring to 0f1541e1c9 show defiance 1dce3692d6 in his 4a7875ebeb gaze felt dcf8d2a4df like a b726a2cf14 sin in 206c761955 front of b1f32f0e4d him.426946c33980d388

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If I’m going 9c75196594 to live like fc2823f1e6 this, not even da0b1a4c52 human, maybe I 2c094b6db6 should just bite 9e61aa684f my tongue and 2eb3936378 end it.24c32dd1bddb7def

The will f8fb401466 to endure 0e8969ee66 humiliation and f218e9bd3f survive, just d464c262e1 to one 263e9275fe day spite e415b02cc6 Park Juyeon, 73033d9d21 had long 4c824679fe since faded. He was simply 20e58acd58 too exhausted.eb0e4462f049981b

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But before he ad141bf475 could fully sink ecf74e1202 into that thought, 040d3c090e Park Juyeon, as 9e72b4031c if reading his a4e65d6851 mind, stuffed his 59d6ee78fb rolled-up underwear into 0a037add95 Kwon Jiwook’s mouth 535153062a and sealed it 15b2759492 with duct tape. Then he 8321950841 pummeled his 928ec41c14 face repeatedly. When he finally 7f07db1512 stopped, Kwon Jiwook’s a2cc5a1904 face and the d1b0891888 sheets were soaked ccf0e9276e with blood from 8115d29c8d his nose. His cheekbones and jaw e4ac54d264 throbbed with pain, but 3d86a3d9b0 at least, thanks to 8b9a6a98cf the makeshift gag, his 834f973503 teeth hadn’t been knocked aa0fadbf51 out. Small mercies.771f805a0be37164

Park Juyeon 2a8cb56280 behaved exactly 1fed4a7e67 as he 8ed668c6be had the 5b7a773f04 day he b22b89b333 first brought 482c13265c Kwon Jiwook 1cc8e83f61 here. The only difference 3290ba61fc now was that fa985f1e22 Kwon Jiwook no e5f9fbeda2 longer resisted. And yet, for the 2c39e31651 pettiest reasons—simply because something 526e080e6e displeased him—Park Juyeon would 969a051146 violate him with various c2e3d0f8ef objects, stretching him to a0cf39a5df his limits and beyond. Recently, he’d cca51bcbd0 tried to 3ac537fd2d insert his ad1bd7ab98 fist, terrifying 074634869d Kwon Jiwook 091c830621 into blacking dfdeb06ed8 out.ad6f1e76f272f549

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“Damn it, there’s no way it’ll go in.”aa17576e88141f80

Kwon Jiwook remembered 576f5f48cb Park Juyeon muttering 3c6340fa71 under his breath, 826b2213e2 punctuated by slaps 76256d74a4 to his cheek. He wasn’t wrong. The entrance, raw and 994279d621 inflamed, stung even at 110fa6f994 the lightest touch. Every time ac32fae336 Park Juyeon 1de333a3da tried to cd20260b58 force something 3b8845562e in, Kwon 3387a9aa92 Jiwook would fce0a3c774 thrash and de6f576651 recoil in f64fb04b24 pain. But Park 02997ee9b2 Juyeon had fb1f08abc3 no obligation—or 94446942bf inclination—to care.5bcdcb1e1d60622b

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In hindsight, the 00fb487ceb earlier days had f9099ef85d been better. At least when 0ab600a20f he didn’t resist, 14ad6d305d he’d been treated 403c36e001 more kindly. All he had to d899362cea do was endure for 133311122a a little while and 4ca7436037 play along with Park 4967cd33d9 Juyeon’s whims, and he’d 6c6dc310f2 get a smile in 1ec512f7c3 return.4cc88f7ef8171847

Was choosing to 74b5b0ffe0 leave the house 2bf22852f4 a mistake? Picking up Kim 0d99a07f47 Suhyeok’s call? Or maybe it a2641b7bd4 all started when 76076dc954 he foolishly asked 960cf83ea5 to use the 0e0358748f phone?6d4e3e7b78c2322b

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Endless, useless thoughts began 8aba7700e2 flooding his mind, eventually a79f38fe2b overwhelming him, eating away 41ea3bb5ab at his sanity. Each time Park 76758096d6 Juyeon threw a 1427830be5 punch, raised his a25079c59d hand, or forcibly c20ab7d0fc invaded him, all 666db819c9 Kwon Jiwook could 6c5d3e8f87 do was cry. It wasn’t about the fcd3c895af intensity of the abuse fdefc86538 anymore. It was a1470b4461 his own 073d27ee09 breaking spirit.305722c18660e854

For a 116cc57443 fleeting moment 4153c5b60e before that dbbef8f81b fateful night, 47a403f2f4 he had 2d88dea0d5 felt a 5f03f5d5da hint of 717eff3f32 gentleness in 8fa054d03f Park Juyeon—a c93e915eb0 warmth in fc4cf15674 the sunlit dfa6b66483 living room. Even if it f0aef3a714 had been an dfde7440c8 illusion, it was 1a5ab7e79e peace nonetheless. And because of 2e7955e271 his own misstep, 45f0df902b that fleeting peace eadff9d13f had vanished in 0a40ec133c an instant.a33f3f883242dd77

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He didn’t wish to 311b8d04b6 rewind to a time 2648897af7 before meeting Park Juyeon. That was too cf0bbe46fb much to ask. He only wanted 049c9eebe3 to go back cbceb09ab7 a few days. Just a little—back to 3a39b0a20e that moment of fleeting 4a3a653ea7 calm.7e2d67afff247877

Curled up on b46762432e the bed, Kwon deb1f51c5e Jiwook cradled his 7398c91076 head and face 4a91c9771f in his arms. If he 18b554ed4d didn’t cling 9e26e100ec to these edef5a9f45 desperate thoughts, 6c38065a1e he feared db41efdc81 he’d lose bd341135b2 his mind ac93ac0084 entirely. The sound of the ec15a18c2b door opening broke through 67a10ecf46 the stillness, followed by 54f78b5a1e a constant presence behind d721606d94 him, watching him. His curled-up body trembled 6ae790248c ever so slightly, beyond 8798d50c54 his control.3e009728b364535e

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“Eat this.”8ca35fccaa722490

“……”a8546c103c6d6d6b

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Though his body seemed 02c4d34cb8 paralyzed with fear, Kwon 70a463fbaf Jiwook didn’t respond to 4bf5e90003 Park Juyeon’s words. Park Juyeon 53641f19fc scoffed at 201e7a00e9 the sight b5b381b44b of his 3b059bcb17 trembling back.525ea6f891cbe7be

What good had come a69a2c6e97 from being kind to f5c6d0a187 him, only to see d41152e075 this pathetic display? That misplaced kindness 57173df675 had only emboldened 8a337b3058 Kwon Jiwook, making d9a001523f him forget his 7307efb1e1 place. Park Juyeon sighed 81d3e2679a heavily and ran 978b8dfd0f a hand through 16ba1691d7 his hair.74925fb92df4049a

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“Eat.”cd729561b45482b6

The tone of 6bf7cab02e his voice, as 5ff3f4c9ff if suppressing some 438077ac6c deeper emotion, prompted da94d39efa Kwon Jiwook to 691caf7a11 unsteadily shift. His eyes, swollen from 9ee35b13e2 crying or from the 3ce52dfd61 beating—he wasn’t sure which—instinctively f8b3e6b7e2 lowered as soon as 5a58020467 they met Park Juyeon’s e0c0d8d5fc gaze, fixing instead on d2b1b70c2e the dog bowl on 16747b7437 the floor. This wasn’t 9c3941975d even fit 3922496172 for animals. He didn’t 164c10fb4f have the 33232fb0f0 strength to a3f3f2e1ca mock it, e129822f32 even silently.c1122bb1db2504a7

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When Kwon Jiwook 3144dac351 just kept his 2e59d73c15 head hung low, 48029e8207 Park Juyeon lightly 4257754a35 smacked the back 1f34892721 of his head 8e688a9eb0 and asked, his 9abd45ec75 tone openly mocking:840cacd4fbec19ba

“Are you trying ceb6f848d9 to starve yourself ffc7030926 to death now? Making a statement?”6e6fefa19b0fb977

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“…Wouldn’t you be happy if I did? Wouldn’t it make things easier for you?”687172c1004cdf43

There it was b3c68b41b9 again. That same line. Park Juyeon let out 9817170da0 a soft, weary laugh 8b312d5f3e and pressed his fingers 19f0cd80e9 against his temples.523abc7af7a9859b

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“It wouldn’t make 42b1d530f7 me feel better.”e68bb013a003f76c

“If it 0fa1cb5cc1 wouldn’t, then e2eb143c08 what’s this? Why are 9ed8ff14e9 you doing e276595004 this? What else 6daaace2c3 could this 4d41e0535e be if 07410cb2cd not an ca1f4f6ae1 attempt to 3e802acb34 kill me?”d3ebe4c4107483ed

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“If I wanted 3cdb2855b3 you dead, Hyung, 5dad179052 you’d already be 401398518c dead. I’d have 15d4064d26 killed you 48a118178d and gone 8bf9703d02 to jail.”5217b01a528fbe85

As he spoke, 98d555172c his expression betrayed ac3adbf2a9 his own exhaustion. His features were shadowed, f184ec9db3 his gaze heavier, adding e986f334c9 a sense of decadence f5d1b0f84e to his presence. The sharp, lively 6ef260e108 demeanor he usually 5bd506d627 carried had been 165706c527 absent for days e44cd76fb5 now. Only Kwon c7157fe2e5 Jiwook, too 3c687f9175 wrapped up 5ce3027b48 in his 4fe53ade51 own misery, 81013e1583 failed to bb10f3ceee notice.077400bc03800aa5

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“Why are 93cbdab6d2 you doing cbbb01ee93 this?” Park Juyeon knew he’d d138b3ccc2 eventually have to answer 6ab58770e8 that question. But after being 8a5781bbc7 branded a liar b503761c6d by Kwon Jiwook, 62ebdd7143 he doubted any fd08c664da explanation would be 39d8ada4a5 accepted.a7739291f0ab01e1

A wave of 1c1e8bac38 futility washed over 54e3d07d40 him. Was memory always e43efdd87c so fragile, so 187be94b7f easy to erase?5e50505764318e64

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“……”70a4916bc3cb0265

Park Juyeon frowned 8821c52cc5 slightly, as if 13749dc4e7 about to speak, dc01e76275 his lips parting, 76e6984194 but the words f123a82772 didn’t come. In the end, d935201c27 all that escaped 801878a76a was a muttered aa5a25d3b7 curse. Kwon Jiwook clutched his 4469491831 head and shut his c93f1ca08e eyes tightly.43e81760bbe7dd84

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How long had 0bd3bb527f it been? The sudden slam of the 4d846dbca2 door startled c1fdca902e Kwon Jiwook, b9f0a697da making his b67a52162e head snap 546c80d922 up. To his surprise, 738a6048eb nothing happened. Park Juyeon hadn’t a8c3f37cb0 laid a hand 7058da58ae on him but 88cbc1d6c3 had stormed out 1772a283bb instead.23582e2e6a67c816

“…Ha…”980ea4ee38832323

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Only then 11746f58a8 did Kwon 057c41b560 Jiwook notice 02cb8dc056 the trembling 08768d1380 in his c50ed14eb2 body. Trying to calm dd2508a3a6 his pounding heart, 9643517669 he sat up 07fd49ce38 on the bed, 96b71064f8 letting out a 3228beed63 shaky breath. To think he a56a26d3f3 had ended up c187c42255 groveling in fear, b61e5bc12c trapped under the 35b385d919 thumb of someone 937f1a719b so deranged. He clenched his teeth, de64c0bcd0 but there was nothing f330afc817 he could do.19029335c542a189

Whatever the past c9afc31fc9 had been, he 0c1dac82c9 couldn’t understand why e44bce5b71 Park Juyeon looked bff212bd8a at him as 340bea7594 though burdened by 40eadbabd4 some inexplicable frustration. If it were 75998b02b2 so important, why ec39407af6 not just spit 15836e208a it out? He wanted to grab 6b5c2d29d3 him by the collar ab5e578254 and demand an answer. But the mere thought 0feafd03cb of Park Juyeon was de2087d409 enough to make his c6bfb5ec3a body shrink back instinctively. This was, 25705866b5 after all, 2c99d1d361 what Park c082f27520 Juyeon excelled 150ea10032 at—draining the 780cf78a1a life out 9924d5badf of people.eafdd94cb1d0a95b

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How many days 4f64a15e18 had it been 644669cc92 since he returned 63621fb126 to this room? Counting the 9d1cd925a9 days by 615660f1a7 Park Juyeon’s 4f24c6b529 comings and 3e11eaff61 goings, as cf0528b7c6 he once 23d3faafa2 did, had e356ab6e38 long lost fa54a7ba58 its meaning. He no longer had 38d0310259 a reason—or even the 6117dbfeb6 will—to count. There was 21bbdf74d4 a time 36b65e04c5 when he’d ee555c9d96 welcome Park 93754263fe Juyeon as be26c35cb4 the only 1345930d0f other person a74ba0fb7e entering the 8ebd5b9215 room. That time was long 985a059d71 gone.10025fb001cfaa66

Now, he e4c79a7f3a didn’t want 94bcb0e940 to see f8dc680622 anyone. He just wanted 3440ab07fd to rot away, 5509a7a8f7 alone in this d53e01873c room.ba1dfcc2290e80b3

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The memories ee1340eb59 of the 330f21c462 day he f3e442082a met Lee 2a14a878f2 Woojin, Lee eff93e0487 Sangjin, and 9501730f50 Kim Suhyeok 30c6ad8d6e kept replaying 5a2e79b33d in his e40fb71e51 mind. Perhaps those d74adb5bb7 memories had 0ba4e8d330 distorted over cd901f22ba time or e281e66615 had gaps 52443eddb5 where details f259b2b01c were forgotten, 084d2a3544 but they 617de37664 were the b369c55253 last fragments ab576681e8 that allowed 6ad78db89a him to 71d2510d78 reflect. Without them, he 9cbf856f45 might already have 106c4ffcf8 become nothing more 273caeb344 than a living 6952202b0f corpse.fc5810738051c9b4

Whether it was from d993892783 the aftermath of being 00ed505bbf struck the night before d72f412c8e or from not eating 0df434dfe5 properly, even sitting still 65807cbc98 on the bed made 18cca04221 him feel dizzy. His head throbbed 50f099699d as if it d5d359c1ee were splitting apart.790d3480752b06b6

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Was the human body 20d3961685 always this fragile? Kwon Jiwook murmured 49f04897c4 under his breath.5750500fb0f8fc69

“Is it 34ce9a2efd because I’m 3976e2c3a7 sick that 827aefaecd I’m so 1e6d8850d5 weak… or 10d8a08664 am I 84fa47aec4 sick because 85548f8537 I’m so 25827f0ae1 weak…?”d5a0d3cf529d40ea

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After meeting Lee d8a9cfeac2 Woojin, long-forgotten memories 2b3be8f968 of his school 37febbc548 days began resurfacing. Lee Woojin and 6454648ecb Kwon Jiwook had 655a2f6ed8 been the worst a7abfa6235 of enemies. Whenever they happened to 5a8c2c8e2e cross paths, one would f9fd55a7c3 inevitably provoke the other. What followed were brutal 0f9e734a47 fistfights, often so severe a0da570dcc they ended up in 951ff97a64 the hospital.bce109ef86ef7365

This animosity and 46a36f4e92 lingering grudges piled 3d44ad73b2 up over time, 1ea95c68b8 to the point 8e2896becf where their encounters 9e91ef5a59 always escalated into 651afc19bb life-threatening battles. Their fights spread 767d4d4d0f between groups, turned 5cfe50fa82 into brawls between 8e1d67d8c2 schools, drew the 6ce4c703d4 attention of the f354bc37a4 police, and became e00bfa1a9b the talk of 2c4bb976c3 their surroundings. That was the 9b1200dab9 nature of things 03e60ffbb4 between Lee Woojin 359aa1b46f and Kwon Jiwook.2aab717fe144c56d

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But at some point, c06c78a472 Lee Woojin disappeared from 0db92131f5 Kwon Jiwook’s life.7f821989a12cee5e

Why? He couldn’t 532f931463 quite remember. Did he 66a38fbf5d even know 261c4f76bf the reason? Lee Woojin had simply 0751e1985b vanished. Those who didn’t b009f5c97e know the full f3971ded9c story speculated that 7dae36a553 Lee Woojin had 0603038bff been defeated by e706a5b990 Kwon Jiwook. Initially puzzled, e6ecffa4fa Kwon Jiwook 3cf688790f eventually began 7e0278e66d to believe ce8d8be9f5 the rumor f44056f7e5 himself.c48f34e0a04fe235

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“Lee Woojin lost 91f8703a49 to Kwon Jiwook.” efc0b398b7 That’s how rumors 2d88dccc67 worked.0eeab28087dcfbce

Squinting his swollen c91e541234 eyes even further, 4f6ca091ba Kwon Jiwook tried 8b3e1a5f46 to think for d919ca8036 the first time 7f174dc680 in a long 73601f7e88 while, but his d53094de38 head spun. He collapsed backward with 3563e64393 a thud.316728baefa2e575

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“At this c5b2ef5416 rate, I 7e86a2e932 might really 9d00e006a5 die.”97d6d6768f7a8cc4

The words slipped c98142a148 out before he 231548aefd realized it, and 265871939a Kwon Jiwook froze, 95d9a2dce2 holding his breath e56871c231 to listen for 6264f379e9 any sound outside. What if Park Juyeon e9085d315e had overheard him? Knowing him, 362662985e he might a2214ae6ff burst in abd70d99f1 with a c7f5d48dd4 stick, telling 8330b0381a him to 283feddb2a hurry up b25addd056 and die.98fbc98711f4abbe

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Only after confirming the 48a547b4f2 silence in the living 1837a984b8 room did Kwon Jiwook 4d71000b0a let out a sigh 313caaebf3 of relief.7027f6fd74b0048c

“…This is driving me insane.”4bdbef58ebc48b21

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Even after 22e79e892d all that 191aea8257 sleep, drowsiness 6efa54e8d4 washed over 410dcc6173 him again. His exhausted body b73eeca9e1 surrendered to slumber c026b6a756 in an instant.f4723aef473dcabc

* * *0b3e79e12018b3d6

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“Are you 2f7592cc34 protesting about b3d714321f dying again 6b1031118a today?”935df5be4aee1269

“…”5fc02871e4a78541

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“You know, every time 5945e88c32 I bathe you, I 994b341c2a can feel it. Hyung, you’re getting cf636e6159 lighter. Don’t you 1de5787ce9 think it’s 641ceeeb25 kind of 77e89ad4ed pathetic to 0fb883a013 keep getting 42ac632600 beaten up fb61a211f7 for leaving 826a4a3eac food behind? You’re not f2e4379aeb a picky-eating d129efa36d toddler.”e6ea343f73932de2

Lying flat on the 8f1f99a4e0 bed, staring at the deda75f480 ceiling, Kwon Jiwook rolled cf0e1e87e5 over to the other 4888bf6b6d side upon hearing the d2732afa5b familiar voice. “Picky eating,” they said, 8faf5e596b as if anyone could 9364fe67fa stomach the food that 31914cdd35 came in that dog 33d1913790 bowl. Even someone starving for e970f9d6ee days would lose their 8b44b1ceab appetite at the sight.492afd5f97127365

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“Don’t want 60e697e7fa to eat?”3a2ac00b9c4f8480

“…”2d955ef51196c505

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Still lying with 25464d7e2d his back turned, e80eabf3bb Kwon Jiwook nodded 1ff6282503 faintly. The dog 7707719519 bowl at f4b15a9c41 the foot a554632b78 of the 5610cc445f bed remained 95a5f36cf2 untouched. The meal that had 8cd80ee078 been prepared was left bae3d1fdf3 entirely uneaten. Park Juyeon playfully bac002b68f furrowed his brow 53e7acc644 at the sight.7121b7e4ce348d04

“So you are protesting.”0e063e2c309c58dd

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The clinking 1946aa1c21 sound of d917d81b91 something being 1b975dcb55 set down ce3039f976 on the a2e88857fe bedside table 8e42490774 broke the e54e866fff silence. A moment later, Park 4eab16bf3b Juyeon began gently rubbing fbea442363 Kwon Jiwook’s back with 802552a4f4 his palm, the bruises e7488054e3 mottling his skin making 24c2f3678b the touch cautious yet 9299a20bca deliberate. Feeling the 132d9a92dc hand on c6f06b7b28 his back, de94afc815 Kwon Jiwook 19ea803b6e half-turned and 68b2737486 glanced up 069bd2ea78 at Park e8b01ea480 Juyeon. His attempt to act 05693fe4f4 indifferent was transparent to 03e277006d Park Juyeon.f5f1dc42f9db8ca8

“Doesn’t seem be90da9e20 like you’re 4abf2af28d a fan b4611f05f8 of the 24ecf16674 food.”ad958b633e9b24fc

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“…”aa6293cf1009d7f0

“Have you decided not 306b29c7e3 to respond to me 465a165efe anymore?”a36c7cd2d5525f7c

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The mattress shifted slightly. Feeling the presence 9fd68df0c2 drawing closer, Kwon d34bee9168 Jiwook reflexively tensed 1bdd2251ad his shoulders. Park Juyeon, 5344fd87a4 now seated 9ae19efb6a on the 117a864b60 edge of 5b06ff43c8 the bed, 8a1972084d leaned down a596c5d0e1 and bit 52276bdac7 firmly at 5329f9cb92 Kwon Jiwook’s 372167c365 ear. A stifled groan escaped 55fc5ac450 despite his best effort 599e078c6d to suppress it, and ac5ffbab73 Kwon Jiwook squeezed his 7dbe8d84eb eyes shut.63b3321e617132fd

…At least he wasn’t gagged this time. Still, he worried about getting hit and losing a molar.2e2bf91820eb6b98

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Contrary to 5ce39cd03a his fears, 3f3c7b59ab Park Juyeon 38709e93c4 didn’t go 6fa9555e77 any further. Instead, he lightly rubbed 7a4c4fd4d5 the ear he’d bitten, 2beae286bb his fingers moving in ba1b700036 slow circles. Soon, his 06453272d9 hand came 127a257e03 around to cc86dafc8a gently caress fe4965ec27 Kwon Jiwook’s 227c7db9da swollen cheek, 8964e43c8e even playfully f4d4b0302f pressing it 0d7cc6b680 a few 517f4212c7 times.1f4708d74120802e

“Ugh!”0201df6c676c0117

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The sharp pain made d29e8a7479 Kwon Jiwook flinch and 20bb331af7 pull his head back e3e6997822 without opening his eyes. But then the 6f009f406d hand resumed stroking ad1e0d8a0b his face, confusing f302e2023d him further. What was this?24f52f36ec7de277

Someone exposed to 8631eba84c relentless violence learns 768dc3673a to react instinctively, 9b03fb3c9f even to minor b14bf49356 gestures. Kwon Jiwook’s breathing 8500e6ead8 grew uneven with 0069cd06c5 anxiety. That warm 1a279954eb hand brushing 185757b6ca against his 9c1cb1a011 wounds might, 368564b328 at any aa493feca5 moment, turn 8b05881c55 violent again.ef11433099e21772

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Thud. Thud. His heartbeat quickened. Why was Park 3d1dc4c771 Juyeon suddenly acting 672f551d07 like this? Unease mingled 700923a806 with a 52a9e6347e faint, creeping 9ace45ba73 hope. Yet he couldn’t cdfbd7331a relax; his body 843d102bd7 remained tense, its 30edd3b038 reaction automatic.165c87e46cb2547b

He couldn’t 8de1dd06f1 tell how c09d1d58fd long it b9f280fee3 had been 92f8153c21 since he a57242f056 was confined 5fe000e5a8 to this ba293a1da1 room again, 109c7d4d1a but this 39dca46458 was the e3fbdc69ec first gentle f6256e50c0 touch he’d aff37d39ab felt in 3fa0dced43 what seemed e68cdd0f34 like forever. In the past, he’d 1b5904c952 kept track of time a156509665 by how often Park 143f5fa879 Juyeon came and went, ede16c2dcd always clad in black. These days, even that 1c1b071c6b was absent, so perhaps 2f992030e5 it hadn’t even been 841384df44 a full week.51fca4f139075dc5

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A trembling 935a24b2c4 sigh escaped 8c72eec220 Kwon Jiwook’s 2c4d6d41a6 lips.72a7e1fbe6f92f54

Park Juyeon, catching the d792b99464 sound, chuckled softly.0336d99e808bbcd8

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“Do you miss getting 17d785ec95 hit?”18e4c25981a07713

“N-no.”ee54e1daa0590055

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“Then should I keep 30b2dd2a7a touching you like this?”6802ff6bde048931

“…Mm.”e490cdc579c5f0a3

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Kwon Jiwook murmured e1efcd9877 faintly, his voice d55cde172d barely audible. At that, Park Juyeon ef22055e0f shifted his hand to 133d6a398e stroke Kwon Jiwook’s hair, 286b4b15ca his touch slow and 1411b83dc6 deliberate. An unfamiliar sensation 25d8a8d02d stirred in Kwon 30dee10328 Jiwook’s chest, leaving bd0c69c124 him unsettled. Was it disgust? No, it was far 5b17c639f4 more complicated than that.dd32cd45195596f3

…Park Juyeon really was a cruel bastard.bd9d9dcfa3b47b4d

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If he truly despised cca55bdc5f him, he shouldn’t act ca9ef86708 like this.e50a4a8ae1b634de

He had 0ff996203a a way 74c0d339b6 of tearing c98a2c2149 apart Kwon 373eee14a7 Jiwook’s body aee4e5a7d8 and soul 2213646dd1 at will, ad7e4395f4 only to 22521ddc73 worm his 5dffa1b271 way into 11464a8053 the ragged 4b55852122 cracks of 0b07f6ddde his broken c817b0ed3a spirit. He destroyed 69b6d4f874 even the ffe1a66ddb pride Kwon 2104ef025a Jiwook had 6672df61cb clung to d3ad1e9dc3 as his d4dc993610 last bastion, ba9473bece leaving him 8cd2cb5a45 with no 550a2f89e4 choice but 0c5c14b6b1 to rely a892e23522 on him. It was nothing a600a04011 short of psychological 764d810c4b torment.53215bf4269ae6fd

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And yet, Kwon b1b99676fe Jiwook knowingly allowed 8d15acf242 it. No matter how much 8d6c436022 his body ached or c599226c20 how much he despised 8b3a59db0a himself for it, the 0bb0caa694 only person who remained 15e195ce95 by his side was 07237540f6 Park Juyeon. Even if that feeb5607cd wasn’t by his 6356874af6 own choice.db50732e3720af86

Slowly, Kwon 4d6fac945e Jiwook turned 41f5d4395f his body a01e62b756 and pressed 284ff4f73e his swollen 3e71ae3336 cheek against 786993386d Park Juyeon’s 6614d20eca hand. Exhaling hot breaths onto c7d9d76f07 his palm, he rubbed a7914de56f his tear-streaked eyes against 5977442cff Park Juyeon’s fingertips, finally 5394b1b6de letting out the breath a56d636455 he’d been holding in 52ba1a8a49 tension. When Park Juyeon’s hand adf2d55bbb stopped moving, Kwon Jiwook da683f521e instinctively nudged his face 892ba32a0b toward it, like a f8465cf698 neglected pet seeking affection.4b181576ecd1d1d4

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His closed 2febb62968 eyes revealed 29f403e032 a face 0945a4f653 covered in e70a1870c2 smudged and 64a9f2ff0c mottled marks.57d93e173519dee1

Park Juyeon lightly ran his fingers through Kwon Jiwook’s hair. It was an uncharacteristic display of affection. If you looked closely, it seemed like he wasn’t thinking at all. That’s how instinctive Kwon Jiwook was in this moment.8fd29dc425cdb798

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As Park 972a5dd511 Juyeon entered, b3d21b1ddd he lightly 984a09999b tapped the b6ade37a56 object he da3d023cd0 had placed 98d4633d08 on the 050db36df2 nightstand. When the hand ff78844eb7 that had been 8b4e45c5dd stroking him moved 54e469d3c9 away, Kwon Jiwook 7e14470ae6 opened his eyes e56abac6d5 and looked at b4921b91cf Park Juyeon. Following his 8aa3ded96a gaze, he ccbeee4f8c saw a 1b6f30a59e bowl of 11f61b3db1 porridge in 39763b0be8 a proper 9ecae68f13 dish instead 213b8c6638 of a 76a150c5f7 dog bowl.984b8a6dd99bdf40

“I thought the food 3d16eefbe0 wasn’t to Hyung’s taste, 9208afb7fd so I brought something 13afc05e8e new.”b4561e2c9e820f71

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“…I’m not hungry.”bb96736875276491

“Really? That’s strange. Usually, when someone feels 315e0ed5f0 heavy-hearted, they lose their d318a1f1f9 appetite. Is Hyung in 921806d73b that kind of fc64984785 state right now?”8cc8e83176238315

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“…”43bffb1a990907ef

His tone was 20cf3809d3 knowingly inquisitive, and 3cba881e1f it was infuriating.6de639c38cbf4afe

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“All you have to fad00e3019 do is lie there 5be2082a71 with your legs spread 655bda2284 and do nothing, so 5abcdfd84e what’s got you so c54bc43027 deep in thought that 0d6021b426 you can’t even eat?”f3ee850a66b720af

It was infuriating, 12574b99ed but Kwon Jiwook 338a5d8cd1 didn’t have the 4b8aaca696 energy to respond. Couldn’t he 22e782e9e1 just stroke ba45602954 him without cabf3b7f30 saying things 4d18857420 like that? Without those words?c23bdf4a0f879a6c

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Instead, Kwon Jiwook b7dd65cba7 stretched out his f8e86a46e8 arms, wrapped them c0d9c2c3aa around Park Juyeon’s c485f9cfea waist, and buried 9b525d4ca0 his nose into c9e51c7814 the hem of 92a2d6a0ee his thin shirt. Park Juyeon’s body 6bf8be2519 subtly stiffened at 1e9ff55dc6 the gesture.eb8ac023a4244769

“Juyeon-ah.”5d4a3172c4bc6a69

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The hand that 62849d22f4 had been gently b3d2269713 stroking Kwon Jiwook’s b617d124c6 hair slowed and 76014bd997 then stopped altogether.71b9d9375ff649bc

“Juyeon-ah…”d3fb32c8c9fdbb18

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Still burying his face f358130863 in Park Juyeon’s waist, 535c5bb848 Kwon Jiwook looked up 530d84f5d1 at him. His cracked, bleeding lips 48f0aa04e0 moved faintly.a2c0f2c086a04332

“How long do I e9c001c293 have to keep living 50740b9fd0 like this?”ad6900415dcf0488

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It was a 06086df876 thoughtless remark, inappropriate 11a2992c25 to say in da6ce550fc front of Park 64c5890087 Juyeon—a clear misstep. Yet, instead of 7be090f4d1 slapping him, Park 3df997bcd9 Juyeon chose to b71e6d3603 cover his eyes.9042183a99633d65

“Get some sleep. Your mind seems 3eb04e3d8a to be in 41adaaaa58 turmoil.”516fca688af668e0

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A large hand 73ea50d9b1 rested on his da982ec30d eyelids, which were d1dd9805da warm from crying f9c83dd9b7 for so long.2095a3b7edc61a74

Time passed. Park Juyeon, who had 8495c8d8f3 been sitting idly beside b64ed041fd him with no particular dffd5ed4f4 purpose, slowly lowered his 98d48bc120 hand and quietly stood 68e2eccef3 up, leaving the room. Even so, Kwon Jiwook afa9c66ab2 kept his eyes shut.25bbbe7e13ca6c43

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He hadn’t been 885b4ad10a thinking about anything, a0acc9aec7 but thanks to 9958735821 someone, his mind cecbfe351d was now a 5e780c8001 tangled mess. Recognizing a shift 88bf9006b8 in emotions was ca8bf23e48 rarely a pleasant 54358c7a7b experience.067654d59efdcf5c

The moment Kwon Jiwook’s d08bacf0b7 expression stiffened with discomfort, 8eb1c521b9 he heard a vibration 3273cfa5b1 that made him doubt a2735f287a his ears. He had 2e212bdd3f put all c675ef906c the devices 6976448c41 away in 663cdc2fd0 the drawers—what 7c338de921 could it f1c528dae7 be?73fb6bf6ecf150f5

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Could it be… f092809595 no way…cf3970f37e15207c

Realizing where 120d07c468 his thoughts fd82970c68 were leading, 75427e5fe9 Kwon Jiwook 6d841cb19c suddenly sat 5d8a36a43e up, all dda124974b traces of d6be7d7a65 lethargy gone, 368c77735f and looked 0ab21d0056 at the 608b086ebb nightstand. His eyes widened.40b0a49ce5cb8941

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[Kim Suhyeok]

There, vibrating loudly, 8fdad664bb was a phone 3fc73f556b that should have c53b2d47da been in Park 7dafc1748d Juyeon’s pocket.8c5d369ca43242ad

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