DWWWB Ch 3 part 2

“Cut!”

PD Han’s sharp voice rang out. I released my hands from the handlebar and straightened my back. I really can’t do this. I agreed with Writer Park’s opinion that it would be good to use it as a teaser that we could upload to a video site. So the first filming shoot was an episode with the PD learning how to ride a bike from Gong Mujin in Hangang Park.

“Hey, are you trying to blow this?”

PD Han shouted. The fact that the normally smiling PD was this angry meant that I was doing pretty bad right now.

“This is why I said we should cast an actor.”

“Nevermind. What’s the point of bringing up the past? We’ll try this again.”

PD Han’s voice grew louder as he spoke to the surrounding production team.

“Athlete Gong Mujin, PD Oh is not an actor who is used to standing in front of the camera, so I guess she feels a bit awkward. I’m sorry for constantly cutting you off.”

In response to PD Han’s sincere apology, Gong Mujin shrugged his shoulders as if to say it was fine. PD Han returned to his seat, clenching his teeth and muttering.

“Do well. Okay? Do well.”

I helplessly nodded my head.

“PD Han-nim!”

PD Han looked back when he heard Gong Mujin’s call.

“Can we take our mics off for a moment while I speak to PD Oh? She seems very nervous.”

This was another unexpected development. In front of all the staff, what on earth did he want to talk about alone without a microphone? My heart, which had been beating smoothly, started to pound as if it was weighed down by a stone.

“Yes, go ahead.”

The observant ADs ran over and quickly removed the microphone from Gong Mujin. I took my microphone off myself.

“Can we go over there for a minute?”

Gong Mujin asked, nodding his head towards an area. I nodded in the affirmative. As someone who wasn’t even an actor to pretend not to be able to ride a bicycle, my movements were very awkward. And because the other person happened to be Gong Mujin, I kept stuttering.

More than anyone, I wanted to finish this shoot as soon as possible.

We walked until the staff members became as small as dots. Gong Mujin didn’t say anything, and neither did I. After walking a little, the tension and discomfort from earlier began to fade away. The early April breeze blowing from the riverside was a bit chilly, but the harmony of the grass that was starting to turn a light green and the cherry blossoms that could be seen on the roadside in the distance was refreshing to see.

It was spring. Spring was coming. While I was alone in my confusion, Mother Nature was diligently painting the spring landscape.

“You know how to ride a bike, don’t you?”

He asked with a straight face.

Does this guy have partial amnesia?

I paused and looked up at the side of his face, feeling as if I’d been struck a sudden blow. He took another step forward and stood in front of me.

His back was to the setting sun. As the day grew longer, the sun had time to dye the sky with a crimson red. The clouds passing behind his head looked like pink cotton candy, each holding a ray of the sunset.

“I know how to ride.”

When I gave him my short answer, he nodded.

“Then let’s do it this way. Get on the bike and ride while only looking at the handlebars. Then pretend to fall over and take one foot off the pedal. Next, pretend to do as I say and ride as you normally would.”

I thought he would let go of the pretense of not knowing me when we spoke alone, but he didn’t show it at all. It really seemed as if he didn’t want to get involved with me. He had even taken off his microphone as if we were going to have a serious conversation.

“I don’t think this was so serious that we had to take off our microphones.”

“It’s a matter of trust with you as a PD. With so many production staff members, there could be some people who feel bitter about this situation.”

That means he was being considerate of me. Gong Mujin had always been like this. He still had the ability to confuse people.

“Thank you.”

When I thanked him in a cool voice, he nodded and turned his gaze to the river that was shimmering with crimson.

“I might put my hand on your shoulder or chin to adjust your posture. Is that okay?”

Another wave of heat surged inside me. My heart suddenly swelled, and I felt as if my chest was too small to hold it. I remembered him burying his face into my skin, not knowing what to do, and my chest tightened.

Not that long ago, he had followed me to the balcony and pushed me around. But now, he was helping me. What was going through his mind?

“Yes, that’s fine.”

I answered again as if it didn’t mean anything. He nodded. We returned to where the staff was waiting without saying a word.

“I’m sorry. I’ll try again.”

As I bowed to the production crew, the ADs rushed over. They attached a mic to Gong Mujin, and like before, I attached my microphone alone.

At the sound of the slate, I got on the bike. As Gong Mujin said, I rode while looking only at the handlebars. Maybe because I was staring at it so closely, the handlebars shook and I couldn’t keep my balance. I naturally took my feet off the pedals.

“Don’t be scared and cower. Look far off into the distance. Do you know how to drive?”

“Yes.”

He nodded quietly. Back when we were dating, I didn’t have a driver’s license.

“When you drive, you don’t look at the steering wheel. You look far ahead on the road. Look ahead. If you don’t look at the road, you won’t be able to decide where to go.”

What path were Gong Mujin and I walking down now? It felt dark and dreary because we couldn’t see the path ahead of us.

“Okay.”

I barely managed to raise my eyes and look ahead. Then, Gong Mujin’s hand gently pressed the middle of my back.

“Straighten your back.”

A large hand wrapped around my round shoulder and gently straightened it out.

“And don’t hunch over. Don’t be afraid. I’ll be holding you from behind.”

My heart pounded. We had touched each other countless times, but I guess I still hadn’t developed any immunity to this man even after we broke up. I merely nodded.

“Look ahead. Pedal forward.”

I could feel his strength pushing the bike from behind.

“I will never let go first, so don’t worry and pedal.”

My heart pounded inside my chest, and the bike lost its balance and began to sway. I lifted my left foot and propped it on the ground. It was the same thing he had said years ago in this exact same place.

‘I’ll never let go first. I’ll hold on tight, so don’t be afraid. Okay?’

As a child, I was a spoiled brat, and I was even afraid of learning how to ride a bicycle. When my older brother was teaching me how to ride a bike, I fell down. It was just a little scrape on the knee, but my father was furious. After that day, I never had another chance to ride a bicycle, and I never thought to ride one until I learned how to ride from Gong Mujin.

“I won’t let go.”

His soft voice stabbed my heart.

“Okay.”

I barely managed to respond and put my foot on the pedal. I stepped on it cautiously.

Even though I knew how to ride a bike pretty well, even though it was difficult to pretend not to be able to ride just a little while ago… I was so nervous about the man running behind me while holding onto my bike that all of my strength left my knees. The bike shook, and I was shaking uncontrollably. 

“Good. You’re doing well. Look even farther ahead.”

His voice sounded more powerful.

“You’re going to keep holding on, right?”

The question popped out without any thought. I don’t know what I was thinking asking this question. The wind made my eyes sting.

“I’ve never let go.”

He seemed to be shouting from afar. My heart sank at the distance I sensed in his voice. I stopped my bike and slowly turned around. He was standing far away, smiling faintly.

“Liar!”

You let go of the bicycle, and you let go of me.

A sense of unknown sorrow began to surge up.

“Cut!”

PD Han shouted happily from afar. I got off my bike, grabbed the handlebar and bike seat, and walked back.

 “Wow, daebak! I totally got heart flutters! I never let go. Liar!”

Writer Park clapped her hands, imitating Gong Mujin’s sweet tone and my aggrieved cry.

“I think it painted a great picture.”

The director of photography also laughed. I looked at the producer as if waiting for his ultimate conclusion.

“How do you feel, Sunbae?”

“Hm…?”

“It was good! Once we release the teaser, they’re going to go crazy! Do you think you can handle the Gong Mujin fandom?”

No one else seemed to have heard it, but I heard it clearly. When I asked, ‘How do you feel, Sunbae?’, Gong Mujin responded with a puzzled ‘hm?’

I continued to speak with PD Han as if I hadn’t heard it.

“If Sunbae is happy with it, then it’s fine.”

I could see Gong Mujin through the corner of my eye. His expression was indifferent. It contained nothing, causing anyone who looked at him to feel even more sorrowful. I quietly erased the voice that had answered my call from my mind. It was something I could not afford to let anyone know I had heard.

“Thank you for your hard work today, Athlete Gong Mujin. I’m sorry filming was delayed because of our PD Oh.”

“I’m sorry.”

Following PD Han’s apology, I bowed in apology to Gong Mujin.

“Not at all.”

He answered in a dry voice that reminded me of the rustling of burnt firewood.

“PD-nim, we’re going to have dinner as scheduled, right? I delayed the restaurant reservation by thirty minutes just in case.”

There were some staff members who hadn’t been able to attend the face-to-face meeting in the conference room, so the dinner was scheduled for the evening of the first day of shooting. The AD in charge of managing the details of the schedule waited for PD Han’s answer.

“Athlete Gong Mujin, will you be joining us?”

“Of course.”

PD Han was a popular producer among cast members. He always moved in the center of the cast, so he had great skills and connections when it came to casting people. When he heard Gong Mujin’s answer, the AD shouted out to the staff as if he didn’t even need to hear PD Han’s answer.

“We’ll meet at the shed at 7! Please make sure you attend! If you can’t find your way, call me! I’ll post parking information on the group chat. Please make sure to check it!”

Putting the AD’s cries behind me, I reviewed the footage with PD Han. Gong Mujin left first since the filming portion of the shoot was finished.

On the small monitor, the backs of me riding the bicycle and Gong Mujin as he pushed the bicycle were captured. Even though it wasn’t intentional, I looked awkward as if I were really riding a bicycle for the first time. My face was captured at first, but that could be cut out during editing.

The moment the bike started moving smoothly, Gong Mujin slowly let go.

— You’re going to keep holding on, right?

My recorded voice sounded unfamiliar. The voice was so stiff and shaky that it sounded like it belonged to someone else.

— I never let go.

Gong Mujin answered in a gentle, solemn voice.

I watched the video from different angles, one after another. It was a close-up of Gong Mujin that was recorded with a bust shot. A faint smile hung on his handsome face. The atmosphere created by the dimple on his left cheek and the sunset in the blank space next to his face was heart-warming. 

— I never let go.

Gong Mujin’s gaze as he looked into the distance made me feel sad for some reason, so I cleared my throat.

— Liar!

At my aggrieved cry, Gong Mujin’s face slightly collapsed, and he laughed. The laugh only lasted a moment.

“Hey, who else could have taken such an amazing shot?”

The director of photography grumbled with pride. PD Han nodded, indicating he also liked it.

Next, I monitored the wide-angle shot that was often used in youth dramas. The screen floor was level with the road, and Gong Mujin and I were as small as lego dolls. The harmony of the sunset-colored Han River and the tall buildings behind us brought a sense of nostalgia for an unknown time.

The screen was filled with retro colors that reminded me of the first time I rode a bike in my life and the times when I missed someone. Gong Mujin ran while holding onto my bike. The two of us were on the bottom right when the screen was divided into 3×3 shots.

Gong Mujin stood there as he watched me. The bike I was riding slowly moved forward. Even when the bike I was riding moved to the lower left of the screen, Gong Mujin was still standing in the same spot. Staring blankly at me.

— You’re going to keep holding on, right?

I asked.

— I never let go.

Gong Mujin answered.

And then I looked back and shouted with a voice full of resentment.

— Liar!

The two people facing each other with the vast space in the middle looked like a scene from a youth drama.

“Liar!”

Writer Park laughed out loud, imitating my voice again.

“Ah, Writer-nim.”

I blushed and told Writer Park to stop. But the people in the entertainment field wouldn’t give up this kind of fun so easily.

“Our PD Oh can be quite cute. Look at that. Even Gong Mujin is smiling.”

The screen froze over the momentary smile that Gong Mujin flashed. In an instant, it felt like I had gone back in time. The days when I could be completely happy just by looking at his smiling face came to mind.

“I originally planned to use only the footage without any dialogue, but I think I can use this as is. Is that okay?”

PD Han’s question wasn’t asking for permission. I nodded helplessly. If Heesu or my older brother saw this, how much would they tease me? My vision already went dark.

“Let’s go in my car.”

As the filming set was being cleared, PD Han suggested that we go to the restaurant first. I nodded without saying anything and followed PD Han.

As the car passed in front of Yeouido High School, PD Han asked in his usual voice.

“Why are you so quiet?”

PD Han knew that I was the type of person who couldn’t stand the silence.

“I’m just tired.”

PD Han nodded with a slightly apologetic smile.

“Thank you for your hard work.”

“No need to thank me. It’s my program too.”

“Still… Standing in front of the camera isn’t easy.”

You were the one who forced a poor PD in front of the camera to create a picture that would grab viewers’ attention. But now you come here and say you’re sorry.

“I saw that Athlete Gong Mujin attended your college before dropping out. Did you know that? I think he was quite famous when you were still attending. Have you ever seen him on campus?”

“The number of enrolled students is over 20,000. How would I know him when we’re not even in the same department?”

I answered nervously as I glanced at the driver’s seat. Had quick-witted PD Han already caught onto something?

“Well, I guess Gong Mujin wasn’t a famous athlete when he was in school. I guess that could be the case.”

PD Han was five years older than me. He was also my brother’s elementary school classmate. This means he knows how spoiled I was when I was young.

As we arrived at the restaurant that specialized in Korean beef dishes, the staff who had arrived early were already pouring drinks.

I sat at the same table as Gong Mujin because I was a producer. I happened to sit across from him. PD Han sat at my left, and Writer Park sat at my right. Next to Gong Mujin sat the director of photography and the lighting director.

“Does Athlete Gong Mujin drink?”

The chatty director of photography asked.

“Yes, I do.”

As far as I know, Gong Mujin hardly ever drank liquor. There was a time when a glass of beer was all he’d drink. But this time, he drank three glasses of soju in a row, handed to him by the director of photography, the lighting director, and PD Han.

“Aigoo, drink slowly. That’s stronger than green soju. It’s 25 percent.”

“Let him be. When else can he drink such expensive soju?”

The director of photography filled the glass in front of Gong Mujin.

“Have some too, PD Oh.”

The drinks were quickly consumed, so I also emptied three glasses in a row. My vision grew dizzy.

“You say that, but you know how she gets. Our Oh Milhee turns into a dog whenever she gets drunk.”

“Sunbae!”

I got upset at PD Han’s playful remark. Writer Park clapped her hands again and laughed.

“That’s right. Our PD Oh once drank a bottle of soju and got drunk. She went down the stairs of the meat restaurant on all fours. ‘Writer-nim! The stairs here are too steep! Be careful!’”

“Not anymore! That was back in my AD days when I was chronically sleep deprived.”

“Okay. So now that you’re a PD, is this okay?”

When the director of photography filled my glass while listening to my rebuttal, Gong Mujin stretched out his hand in front of me and took my soju glass, which was now filled with the clear and transparent liquor. He brought it towards him.

“What are you… doing?”

I looked at the soju glass and then at Gong Mujin’s face. Gong Mujin stared at me as he gripped his own soju glass between his middle and ring fingers and drank it down in one gulp. He didn’t take his eyes off me the entire time.

After finishing the liquor and putting down the empty glass, he lifted up the glass he had just taken from me.

“If I drink this…”

I didn’t think he was going to say the cliche lines from movies that usually finished with, ‘You’re going to date me.’ He didn’t continue and downed the soju in the glass that had touched my lips in one gulp.

“Wow!”

Writer Park covered her mouth with both hands and screamed. Then she slapped my lower back with the palm of her hand.

“Ah! That hurts.”

I stuck myself closer to PD Han and grabbed Writer Park’s wrist to stop her. Gong Mujin’s gaze turned to my tilted body and quickly returned to the soju glass. The atmosphere at the table suddenly changed. His lips, which usually became even more red as he got drunk, were quite provocative.

“PD Oh, can you grant me one wish?”

The broadcasting station people’s eyes began to sparkle. My cheeks felt warm. I don’t know if it was because I was drunk from the liquor I had consumed so quickly or because of the burning gaze and red lips of the man staring at me.

“From just one drink?”

I asked stubbornly and brought the two soju glasses in front of Gong Mujin back to me. I snatched the bottle from the director’s hand and filled the two glasses. I put the soju bottle down on the table with a thud. Everyone stared at me with excited gazes. Of course, Gong Mujin did, too.

I emptied the soju glasses one after another, just like Gong Mujin had done. And I filled the glass he had been using once more. I drank it again. It was hard to swallow. I realized that it was time for me to stop drinking. In the end, I drank one more glass than Gong Mujin.

“Then does this mean you will grant me one wish?”

The director of photography burst into laughter at my question.

“I really can’t stop you. Here, have some snacks.”

PD Han put a piece of meat into my mouth. Gong Mujin stared blankly as I obediently chewed on the meat.

“I’m going to go out and get some fresh air.”

The alcohol had taken its toll on me, and I was starting to feel sick. I staggered up from my seat. PD Han smiled and muttered something to the people sitting at the table, holding a pack of cigarettes in his hand.

“I’m going to go out for a smoke.”

“Alright, alright.”

Before I knew it, the conversation at the table had moved onto something else. Gong Mujin gave indifferent answers to the people’s questions.