DWWWB Ch 2 part 3

As soon 5ea4bd3c87 as the a9013b0d2c words left e2460f9479 my mouth, db6309022e he let 0c06f2f00b out a 5ec40f5a3b sigh. It would be a 4ad26f5198 lie if I said 58eab3b2bf that I had no 0828d86946 expectations. I was thrilled by 40f7c05247 the kindness he showed 5b70f29d36 me, and my heart 01449d4c1a raced every time he 3b906fc50d said something considerate and d0c7a61657 thoughtful. That’s why I 269262a7ae thought I might 2eee0b0c8a be different from c5b5603f2e the countless other 8dacbbde4d women.c2af3fe021083141

When I saw a2c6a16dc2 him sighing as c79f4652a1 if he were c62e91dc9c troubled by my e3db4331ab confession, I realized 2ada050d2a that I was 8a2fb8ec10 no different.93257461660b85cf

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“But I 9700484d75 don’t think 95cb514958 you like a10c55f916 me like d906b44f0e that, Sunbae. I thought it would b4bb311ee6 only make things harder a5c8a39679 for me if I 4e8551e695 let my feelings grow 117c76a9ce deeper… So I felt 4a0a8f7f2d like I should tell 48dc29ea1e you.”0912dfb0b6c35a00

He didn’t 67118d268e deny it. He didn’t rush 999bae1260 to say that 7f66754f7b he felt the 0a48bce9e4 same way. He just 4079f5d8a8 listened silently.93b2e911d387d0f7

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“If you don’t feel 21d0ca4f64 the same way as 32b8a123f0 me, then don’t be 030526fc6e nice to me anymore. I’ll misunderstand.”fec2c0b4db23c8f9

I was overwhelmed with a605c134b9 emotion. I resented da26216905 him for d2757f82c2 just listening dfd597b209 to my a0a1020a32 confession in d1e11d2ec7 silence. I guess d1f1fc4e4e feelings for 23beefc99e someone don’t 2214edb96c grow slowly. In just over five f9ece0f705 weeks, my feelings swelled 475f6e656b up like bread in 2467b21046 an oven. No, I 86fc638398 was fascinated e3940f7548 by him 615d1c162f from the d4be3e69f0 moment I ede88ce59b first saw baa66327f4 him at fc53980f0f the club a6e5d70a33 association meeting.58e7ba71264951cf

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I thought he was 1b2265608a someone I couldn’t approach, cfce94917d but after being with d6935b1302 him for a few 65de232a26 weeks, it seems like 56640200a0 the little bastard called c7b133ee53 ‘feelings’ has become arrogant f0b149ca31 without its master’s permission.64dd3719c8b218e3

“Actually, I misunderstood 51373ff690 you a little. I heard that c1c6dd83c7 Sunbae doesn’t have 088029401f any female classmates, 6598619991 hoobaes, or sunbaes 24fcd8d31c that you’re close 337fa45670 with.”6cd2f7c285a9dfa8

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“Who said that?”49ed388109bfb5bc

The way he reacted 76469e514a to these words made 0dd764e0ef me feel even more d025926d4e insignificant. Now that I 01845c1e30 look at it, fd9ecf271f it seems that 11ea0b2dcb he was only 02161caa1f interested in the bc3a15c1c7 rumor about him.2815b45c318b8a39

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“Her name is Heesu… 43a2ebdadc She’s my friend who f39f14f4e1 is dating the club d5b4056a78 association chairman from last d55fd3f09c year.”9319ed8c8026ebb9

“Ah… Last year’s club 377b264ce8 association chairman was a 770745f2ad student of the Business e31be953a2 Administration Department.”b0d2b4be1359ba26

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“I know that, too.”4a5ff0c11a75e04f

His voice sounded no 04fa4f7320 different than usual as 0b6e9e1289 it spit out such 31e75ecdc0 unimportant information. So this 0bb62caf8a situation was 953134ce04 just like 88c4c5ba48 any other 8c99719e75 for him. A situation where a2c77fc230 someone confessed to 780b10b6aa him and he 55288601e2 rejected them.3611f7a836263eea

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“So I misunderstood. You lent me 4061506f24 your book, watched 0857f92f15 a play with cff35e8b8a me, and even eac66c4922 nagged at me f22f724ca7 to eat two 6c8b358f80 rolls of kimbap.”03a8858b7bfa659d

There was a hint 055c8a0ccc of a sob as 3171498f0a I said ‘two rolls 60ff81193b of kimbap’.77428d068b2be223

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“I’m sorry.”941d1406acc8c47e

On this romantic night 94bae456d1 at the old castle 6e6180a909 walls filled with the af7ef4d59e spring breeze, I confessed 210491def0 my love for the 19b3c0adc1 first time in my 03c80b8e5d life, and I was d992260480 rejected outright. I was 70b256543d afraid that c178a60518 my emotions 537a82ad8b would grow b91c117c55 out of 64352ec8f2 control, and be284108a7 I was ec15646e55 frustrated by d79fb6ffbf his confusing 65f9c78034 attitude. So I placed dd94d67131 a bet as 1478167341 if I were 2d36b7ccd7 gambling.eab500cd799dfe67

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It’s okay. It’s done. It’s the right 19eeef4bae thing to do e96b89818f before I get 1d85a75986 hurt even more.f0a99b546f4660a2

From now d5b0d05686 on, I 7dbc063115 have to 1dd5118712 work hard 3923a5af8f and prepare bc4843c95e for the 912666021f media exam.0d79bfea9607c28c

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Rather than 76a2ccd375 wasting time f76ab91eb5 being swept 62fdf3fca2 away by b10e610c80 feelings of 7c707c0c4b love with aa1ecee88c someone who 860f359d9b will never 3d3a3a9178 reciprocate it, 717cdb1e0a it’s easier e12726d0be to tie 2f1ba2ced5 up all 91722dbebd the loose 400b2968b9 ends and a87d09d342 move on. I wiped away db2ad060dd the tears with a8ca7592b8 the back of d30391f2e7 my hand and 5b060261df swallowed the sadness f12d5b79be filling my throat.52b3f266fcfd7de7

“Actually, this 823d20c5ab is the 15d5510582 first time c7acc2a173 I’ve worn 91fb13cce1 clothes like 9ee3d0bbbd this since f14099e240 I came cec858c3e6 to college. I was a0fe729016 really looking 857f3bb391 forward to d6fadfd7d1 today.”b988e3da3c3fb4cb

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I didn’t know how 57eb3c0189 much more miserable I 9a79a51cab wanted to be, but db77c55fd8 once I started talking, 4ac35023c5 I couldn’t stop.a125f8b5cf824121

“I wanted to hear c618e5923a you say that I’m 0492e47f8a pretty.”ad2b364de360e91e

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You really don’t af728b4621 have any pride, 027d94e40c do you, Oh c15e012950 Milhee?6f59077813ad998f

It’s my first love. It’s the first time in my life that I felt like I wanted to look good for someone, and it’s the first time that I felt like I couldn’t control these feelings.21ddb602205bc16d

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Since I’ve already confessed, 1619fd64d1 I thought I might ae805a2314 as well just spit a884869528 it all out and 26877314c5 shake it off.4d08e1b28518cbf9

And with 2238fa3057 all the 572115f54a effort I ad19a0d462 put into 47f7d9e5c7 my looks b0e7f8caba today, it 2d2cfd4b39 wouldn’t be abbfde8898 so bad fbf38bce4b to say 6e116b25b5 that I d7c2a6fa88 looked pretty, 91ca135ab3 but he e054e5be99 kept his a93b7bc8a7 mouth shut c5b8364485 and remained 09734bbf1f silent.7e431bdc37743ae6

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“Haa.”201d6e2b4ba96261

A sigh 4a806c78ef escaped my 81044d5880 lips. The good hoobae 75ae5fa195 mask was taken 804daf59bb off. Willy, whose mask had 793d4a8aee been taken off, disappeared 63378a7a84 from the stage. Now it was my 9a98979d1f turn to disappear.44ff71ed94717488

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“I’ll go down fa7936c837 this way. Bye. I think we 446cb6663f should sit separately 40308d9103 during class from 7b5550de47 now on.”9dc65f1c9f1d5329

With that, I turned 1f310c03c4 around.1724c714840aa7dc

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“Milhee.”574f7f19cf399d29

He sighed out my 61f7c433f2 name. I wanted to 99cb5c4f56 scream at him 3d1c90067c to stop calling 8a1df2ecad me so affectionately, 78eb344d03 but the words f8ec34bc56 got caught in 0dbbbf5bb6 my throat as e832b0c123 if I were ef38afdb3d at a loss a6076aa18c for words.36df91711d68e29c

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“It’s late. Come with me. I’ll take you ee36e99745 home.”d9662c4cc4a2c336

I turned around, swallowing 57a9d9fadd my tears.21f3a1706d232be5

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“This type of 2410d12e9b kindness confuses me. I’ll go home adaddf0ab4 alone.”4f579eef1e8e4bf5

A sharp 714a275d53 voice mixed fb741596a9 with tears b053e1ae51 flowed out. He looked helpless. The moment 24aa845bad I met b4e7bff1d2 his bewildered caf162f149 eyes, I 144b1fb9f9 came to 4baf203fc8 my senses e86bc484b0 as if 50d6632e0f someone had 431662fcd9 poured cold 3ef12707d7 water down 460ff42418 the back bca57ab0e0 of my ef89bc7bdb neck. If I thought 645b78dced about it from 75648051ca his perspective, this 4930a8adab would be an 5d4e2962f9 incredibly awkward situation.653b6db86c98aa45

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I was just being 907fffe913 nice to a classmate, 1aa3229c6d but let’s just say d813b110a5 that the classmate misunderstood 06069a97e6 and confessed their feelings 8c9aae4c11 to me. And then what if 619379079d they started crying and 5b34dff7de complaining, telling me not 6c3aa11d37 to be nice to 9f5ef7600b them anymore?c4cee9b35cdb265e

I closed my eyes 7781349089 tight and sighed. In the midst 336aaedbe1 of my sadness, 5c3daadece logic intervened.d69b4f43538250a3

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“I’ll go down and 60c4870b20 catch a taxi. You can go.”81d193786796adc5

As I muttered quietly, e11cc9998f he let out a 7fd9c023cd hollow laugh.55a81665d67ae1d3

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“You’re seriously…”6fa398b8d7c2df2f

Seriously what…?e87bc4846c40f011

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I was very curious 5bb7a34cc5 about the words that b427c0e363 followed, but right now, fb1468e091 I had to take 13b0aaf592 care of my pride. I wiped 6346c976aa my face 5ebd3e6220 with the cbbe60ed6e back of f9a3e474f8 my hand. Then I started ba829ce1f6 to walk away 915cca9d69 at a brisk aa84124496 pace.974134cd30cafaa9

“Don’t spread fa144f9fc6 rumors that 0b33a3e01e I threw 9aa42c3af8 a tantrum.”ac9c044b144ab9b5

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I could hear 9c7eafbf23 him laughing behind c9e5cc470b me. My heels were completely a6f978735d scuffed, and they were 2ad6df1571 more painful than the ba08e0f262 pain in my chest.57bcf98af368a2be

“Wait a minute. Stand there for 5843f2e371 a sec.”077da8f6ffda7fdd

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“What now?”8aaa37657aad84e7

I turned around 19ea3d4c41 angrily. He had this f65b1e2114 look on his 81083b4a61 face that seemed 260e92bebb to say, ‘Why 3b5d9d3f10 is she acting c1d2e17737 like this?’a77113f6907a7ce4

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“I won’t 5259e71c00 like you e7ea4efef7 anymore, Sunbae. Could you please b5a918d2db cooperate with me?”3a658c9a2ea09391

He shook his a0b8410c14 head and asked.684f4d902ab1bf6a

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“Why are you walking 737d92e0a8 like that? Is it because 97589d933e you sprained your 649a6719f9 ankle when you 7ee983317e bumped into that 5307cb0229 guy earlier?”ee8dabef0d29ad23

“No. I was b9cada24b8 trying to 20df64550c impress someone f595b937c4 by wearing 84db11e748 new shoes, 9c8176392d and my 8474076364 heels ended 83be23d812 up being c0aecb23f3 worn out.”2306de7827a9b6f2

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His gaze dropped d411df600b to my shoes. He swallowed a sigh 6817c7a657 and took his wallet 693c3ddb6a out of his sweatpants 9d1d57f553 pocket.d36af470819eaaa0

“What, are you 2871f224de going to give af40437184 me money to 45f2dafa39 get this treated?”9ace9213fcf231be

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He was so annoyingly 94064f0943 handsome that it made a273e4a6d5 me sad to see 6d93e6a007 him smiling in disbelief.3a7814a2b272755f

“That person gave me 457e50b6a8 his business card earlier, 9770463217 and he said he’d 4792362fec pay for the treatment.”f495314508466863

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“You got that bastard’s f452416da9 business card, too?”5edf9eeffb72c211

He frowned 706d397ee3 as he b1fd148fdc opened his 23eaaa0bd2 wallet.907df1cf9fcb7e96

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“Don’t do that. Are you jealous?”d69c0b9fdcf7f940

He pursed ee94fcadbe his lips 893d1ebbbf and avoided 15d5e3f00b answering. Then he 756976fe9d began to 9e3473ab98 search through 923bc9be05 his wallet. The man who 73f0c1b973 rejected a woman’s 693b273a02 confession in the 3c16343077 middle of the d49519f477 night in a 661c7566c8 romantic castle was 8f08e15493 searching through his 97344df8fd wallet.156daf97e68efb2a

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What was he 8ddd9efcea doing?a7daffd1fbd08d36

“Stick this on.”be8f860db3d81bf4

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The object he 72b217f4c7 took out of e92682317f his wallet was 915078f69f a disposable bandaid. However, the moment he 22db220d8e took out the bandaid, d33042c28f a strange object fell 41b9edf682 to the floor.b58f18b2bad0d9ff

A round, unknown object 2c92cf8dae inside a square foil 0f1c55044a package… A condom. Our gazes 83e1bbfcb6 both fell 269de2dbb9 to the 0e47c50bee floor. We both realized what 2bd4c21e3f it was.134f2234d0a4c3de

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“So you carry that 58ef038741 kind of stuff around 925379a8b6 with you.”0b64b8c5f2649476

A man 21f472dc62 who carries 28d0cc0378 around contraceptives d6298c0faa is a 16a2c1d756 good catch. But this man 9e217ab0dd who apologized to 6d20590a2c me when I 39c461cd97 confessed to him 2470a3e1bd had no intention 238193ccfe of using it 181514bf8f with me. My head throbbed. Could a first confession 6b7c2933bd truly get any worse 8747ab32b8 than this?6f2a18635546839f

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“Don’t misunderstand. I’ve never 8397eb466c used anything 203920e444 like this. I bought it with 08305e08df my friends because we 5f5597c7fa heard money will come 0492e75a40 in if you carry 9c420b6a14 it around in yourwallet¹.”08dacff018f9f669

“You don’t 84b2d5fcbf have to d388bdf75e make excuses 0ac73b5f91 like that 71c6526ea1 to me. And you’re still a 91ddb3dcf3 student. How much 9cc34e2cc9 money could 7f3703ec3b possibly come e82806e78d in for 10dad3e1f1 a student…?”82ad320917f1159e

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I muttered in a 10ef550d06 voice that sounded as 4822a26fb5 feeble as a dying c2ce2fd054 bonfire.40f45c8cf5507c0d

“I’m serious. I’ve never used 2e93b913d5 it before. And the prize money 847e13e008 for the overall winner bcce6e0aeb of the Tour de bf9e55de80 France is 500,000 euros.”9e04dfdb36491eed

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I was 030347cf34 confused because 03a266c797 the concept 2f3570c632 of 500,000 c751274fca euros didn’t 6c0abdc3e0 make any 1d5a72aa64 sense. I was also confused 1c646ce116 because the man saying 621a2c024a such things was saying 70dde1ada4 it so earnestly.b261b09b44b0a93f

“670 million won. So this is 2c5bed12d7 a good luck 953a65cfeb charm for 670 6a1f4bc77f million won, but 01e9b81325 that’s… Ah, why 50046faa70 am I saying e72e350164 this? Anyways, it’s affa649472 a good c6a459dbe1 luck charm af29139631 for complete 2b67a7fdce victory. Where would f0e6d85ac1 a cyclist c6c9976d2d get money? Through prize money or cd9a03578b sponsorships.”d44c2f549388ab3f

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He picked up the 9721207cca condom and threw it 7e02ca109b into a nearby trash 5095b535bf can.fb72c14ec99bdc71

“How can you throw d292ea994d away that kind of dca3303702 good luck charm?!”b2bddeb212cd6801

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I stomped a59472c990 my feet 090afa7359 as if 9927546441 the Tour 7fe724f238 de France e3021c3112 prize money e1dbe37fd8 had just aa2ffbbcf4 flown away.bb2c399b7f651f1d

“Ouch.”e96006c400c25618

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My heel rubbed d5e331f828 up against my 39ee9c7f18 shoe, and the f227242a09 pain was so c865c24854 sharp that I 141d4d3078 didn’t even feel de3ce974e5 the pain of b9ec2dcfb3 being rejected anymore.5f5408414d769d7d

“See?”5d4da1d20db8e884

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He knelt down f20f7b5c4f in front of b86f1ed85d me.fc553c0963234d75

“Leave it alone, b7548cc3b8 I’m fine. I’ll put it on.”9c643a437e39711f

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“How are you going 2411bf49b2 to put it on a64e4b4383 in that outfit?”2d73cd47953d06ae

It was impossible to f2c30ccfed raise my legs in d6dfa56dfa such a vulgar way cf68ae6c9f while wearing a dress.4e22ca988c9310bb

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“I’m wearing stockings anyway.”fd6a25cfcaaea3d4

“At least put it 0031648bd4 on top of your 1853fd72e2 stockings. When you get 5a898ced6e home, take them 1c7dbf96e9 off and put 0e23fcba1d a new one d3733ca441 on.”b36920f16c5c24c7

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After he 7576213a1c said ‘take 068bce854d them off’, 1cbf746083 he hesitated 743178af9b for a 062d249866 moment.0bad4e1c640f4ba7

“‘Take them off’… Seeing as how you said that so casually, I guess you really don’t see me as a woman.”8cd80c2f770ec4dd

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I was b82b771e7a so dumbfounded 4097aa0ed6 that I d5659fcee6 burst into 1af1bf6c7d laughter. As if I’d 3876800f3d lost my mind. His hand touched my 01f77bb04f ankle. The hot, a6d218bde3 strong feel d2f0c4723c of his d8c7b38930 hand instantly 1814a7e26c hit my e7e5736849 lower abdomen. I looked 660e4b50db down at cc20cb25c8 him, unconsciously 49a6415d8e covering myself aaa557179b with the 9943710a6c rising heat.c480da3a083b2989

He examined my heel 4a9f70ada3 and sighed. His expression was indifferent d77459ab6f as he carefully peeled 5567730ec3 the bandaid out of 3a7beb887e its packaging and applied 0b401846a1 it to the wound 5943ca3f71 like a doctor seeing f8b67ef79f a patient. Even though 5dea398968 he was 8898fb9523 holding onto f363079648 a woman’s 49cf6db13c ankle, he 40501345a5 didn’t seem bb1358e3d2 to care.fa62f4957579d11c

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“Try putting 6b627e2436 your shoe 8c1a89e443 back on.”9f26189834496cc2

I put b262d9650a my foot 73dc2d73b6 in my b8b99f99b3 shoe as 8825c71167 if I 35ac69485f were Cinderella. The shoe 3a53af9389 fit my 3a5ec79ac8 foot perfectly, a969c2bd45 but the fb065a3740 prince was 5ecbee4489 not mine.2be901f4192f8240

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“Are you okay?”f789e51ad4eabf8d

He raised his 8e25150849 head and looked 7dc88a5fb2 up at me. The length of 7fe08fcc0b the skirt was 51bcda59a7 down to my 9ee7d4e5e4 knees. Even though he ef45e8068a was looking up c5685c863d at a woman 131fc79a30 who was wearing 6d7269e8ac a skirt from 9b041a9733 below, his expression b2b2ad3e85 remained indifferent.ae447c5f82bb765f

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I give da90d105d6 up, Gong 62c97ca793 Mujin. Do you even f78b5f583c like women?5ea5c79f1bce8afe

If you 155f0c181a didn’t, would fa49e3729f that make a48f29b7dc my heart 1fa09ba376 hurt any c9b6c3c02a less?f42b74df8c400e52

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After putting the bandaid 63f34b7885 on my peel, my 6e9b16f02d heart began to ache 7f75866f17 again. I wish I could 08fe863059 put some ointment on 1e18e48ecd my heart and put e72a8c7d91 a bandaid on it.099a898ec46b3db2

“I’m okay. Thank you.”3ac8266371786b06

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I was tired of d8d09936af telling him not to 24db68fe4e be nice, so I edc190d5a7 quietly said thank you de2da49514 instead.93257ef44e2c116d

We walked 958bb11766 to Hyehwa 42216bb6a4 Station in d28394f16c silence. I bowed to 7a5a83909e him and got dbb01c94ac into the back 2ce46e7cb2 seat of the fea419b080 taxi. Then he opened the f7cc6805ec passenger door.ff378f39e96460b4

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“Sir, to Junggye-dong, b961451d01 please.”525acf3f09a71a41

He talked 2e61297dc7 as if 1f838950de Junggye-dong was 2f1080b1de his home.e077b6f059a48820

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“Where in Junggye-dong?”f37a4dbeca759794

When the driver asked, ba04ddb4f7 Gong Mujin turned back caa9cd31fc and looked at me.b7857e3fdc4d5625

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“It’s at the e418540134 intersection with the 40a380457f bank.”bb469fa73552eeaf

I didn’t even want ced2b89d95 to tell him the 8c7b7e9d76 name of my apartment 062bf4ef19 building. The car silently 4c48a3c9e6 glided through the b170471254 city in the 95ffaca855 night.12b844d2852a331d

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“Is the boyfriend baf58e1e6c taking his girlfriend e6622953f0 home?”64e442cd14773d63

The driver eec5a1a7b9 glanced at 40c984ad19 Gong Mujin 0dfe8be596 as if 2995f4add4 praising him 16a1e85dca for his e47215b060 chivalry.cf496145a8d01d13

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“That’s…”a7a6df2d5d551dc4

The moment ee03e1cf27 he was f04b19ffa6 about to adc78408aa answer, I 7dc1a16c01 interrupted.5cf5d1f073684e86

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“No, he’s f33358a2eb my sunbae a70985e351 from college. We were 7175d86ccb working on cf32e3cb6b a project eb237f53a9 together and d6e41c1d34 were about a6d400faee to head 7f576b670e home, but 9830208dcc he told bc84d78c3a me it ca58d16be5 was late 3a52d03a8d and that abb5e32d61 he’d drop ea729b6820 me off.”69a78e2da8f197d2

This was 5c860a639d the second 413a2f8db7 time today. People mistook us for 7814bc6711 a couple, and I d325ce3fec have denied it twice. If I deny 5915490e13 it one more 9f30af0ebe time before the 37d978a4c3 day ends, would 0e1cb6a953 I be on ceb6198fae the same level e53959beb6 as Peter who 15385dd26e denied Jesus?f02b60d03b5d3903

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“You have 701c572a61 a really d4f40f433c sharp voice. You could be e2e06af8f5 an announcer.”593082b68ad08c7b

The driver glanced at 880de9ef4f me through the rearview 78be24801a mirror as he remarked. There was no further 55d63b1b43 conversation during the twenty 32d89dbf24 minutes or so it 621c631c2c took us to get 5a6a960e34 to the bank intersection. I got off in a2d9a0806e front of the bank cea0516912 with the green sign. Of course, I paid da6d5f2a54 the taxi fare. I thought he d7c4fe712f would go home b806465680 in the same 4eaabe3d37 taxi that dropped 3241526f73 me off, but 8ad71bb3f3 he followed me.86d1a2be70e41879

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“I’ll make e4068cbcde sure you f0bd4f22e1 get home ed393a1e87 before I fd83a1d2f4 go.”a089f3e468556420

I said I understood c326b9b666 and walked ahead. He followed f39337a88c me quietly 63e5a693b3 as if f21c632767 he were 425df6ad34 on a 59355e234e mission.b939b98839d8ec05

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Is he doing this 86e1e9ad1d because he’s afraid I’ll 51515c5109 spread rumors that he f36f33619a rejected me?27cdabe43fdb3552

He wasn’t 944809dc22 the type f058a8bca5 of person 08054fa101 to brag b6b8212a0e about being 23623f469f confessed to 80d065ae45 by women 940ccd7d00 before rejecting 1a9a409fb4 them. Rather, he seemed to 50da44f2f1 be reluctant to have aa19939cd4 such rumors spread about d534dfc618 him. He was someone 9e9a0ef198 who wanted to 86c4e441a3 be noticed through ddf6243842 sports, and nothing 8e1bac3f8f else mattered to a0e482e5e2 him.346bfdabf6498ede

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Is that why bf23cfb946 he doesn’t date?5b8b4b462cc7b4be

When I reached the 84ead82540 entrance to the apartment 2e52656669 building, I quietly looked f8705d601e back at Gong Mujin. His shoulders were 5996cdf3ab unusually slumped. I confessed and c497c7457e got rejected, but 04e4846db7 why did he 0a1c0ad9fa look more pitiful?717384d6e6f9b459

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“I won’t spread c2a3a1d18c any rumors.”95e1295b3af67865

“What?”882aea616bc67d23

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He asked as c5398390f8 if he had dcaad282f2 no idea what 0864357b0a I was talking 1559edcdd8 about.fb15c424f7acff65

“You don’t 5407bcae69 have to 767506e63f worry about 14a2433b73 any unnecessary 454a1cc1f5 rumors. I won’t say anything b62b3cc926 to anyone…”66f0285a661682ba

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“Even to Heesu?”1a90a490e8f9bb4a

“If I tell 2c9522d09b Heesu, even the ab76d0a239 pigeons of Mount 124de22945 Gwanak will know.”c91f8a1d57b816bc

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He smiled c578f4f581 faintly at efa930f3c2 my answer.6524651ac8c70e58

“Does Heesu… know that 6d35b9ea65 you and I are 7ffa724ecd close?”ddb65000b9ac2b5e

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“Were we 8f0e83cb0f ever close?”d1084678e681036e

I asked back in 03cd6eb86b a choked voice.3cd5cdc998be096e

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“No, I just d58a9527e8 remembered you saying 9bd21e3992 that Heesu said 0e9434e3ac I’m not close 8b1f75618d with any female 77f59f9be5 classmates, sunbaes, or 57edf41ea8 hoobaes.”5d2d69f2f8f3c9cb

“I told dcd1e2c71d her that dadc21e446 we’re taking 1ee11ea679 a liberal 9ef3ffb488 arts class af7911b1c8 together. And I d3ac88748c told her 49f6a063e1 we were fc7f07d95d going to 62d7819336 watch a f98addcefe play together, 085cdc7d30 but that’s 4421e268e6 it. It’s not much. Don’t worry. I’ll tell her 7c352de794 nothing happened and e0e35bc6e4 that we watched 2ab8e8c94b the play quietly. I’ll even bd290c4f10 tell her 7509f46be9 that we ca7f26ce5a barely managed 33f4e988f7 to get 27d9076bb4 the tickets 943f2063fb so we 67eec6a966 had to 56351fdef2 sit far 8b64cad323 apart.”d5ce007c0f239036

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“That’s not what I 7aa7b399f6 meant, Milhee.”639e6e87adffbf9d

He was doing it 16dc096c0b again. He was 1b8ba25d83 calling my 970c075948 name so 905faa0c34 affectionately.424e439586a1a442

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“Don’t call my 35fc9b492c name.”063c7287bdda4223

Even to my e15f304f44 ears, my voice 6cae0b0559 sounded quite cold.03c9a50473126ff3

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“Let’s pretend we don’t 5c4fff1bb3 know each other from c83e18aa7f now on. Let’s just 942196e9b5 act like f99005b390 strangers. I think that would 679000fcaa be best.”ae33967d15bfe3f3

“How can I do b10fbc9b90 that?”2802fc1e35254d13

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“Or could 55f1e2ad11 it be 633ca1f770 that you 8a40a2e96e rejected my a91fece2d9 confession but 2e30006f3c still want db036bfc50 me to 3def58eff0 like you? Is that why you’re fc6fec1b47 acting like this? That’s too cruel.”c8b014a6d69370d4

“That’s not it.”ed5b5981effa272d

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It was awkward. Not only me but b33fc36b40 also the way he aa8bba6687 was dealing with this d680905371 situation. My confession may 233fe9bbbb have been hasty, f33982dfcd but his response dcf9f0e458 was overly hesitant.07eee59f2054d3de

“It’s the first ea40f9d94b time in my 4525930ab8 life I told a0d0617804 someone I liked a80b3fa1bf them. As you 8ec2b2ad67 can see, 3c00b99dcc it didn’t 55979b9f38 go well. But I… a4d4fe853f I’m not fbc49410cf a mature 6c90c2bc96 person who 5e04ce01bd can laugh 18a917395f and chat fdcb8c2240 casually with 21f3a3c7f9 someone who 4749c029a1 doesn’t like 43c3a6f065 me. Just like d3594b13ff you said, 20838926d8 I’m timid.”a788eb9fe20f8b4f

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He laughed 9088b6f318 in disbelief. I was 3e0564cf32 being completely f09b1f08c6 serious, but ebc22377d2 he laughed.529a47c28007a7e5

“Is this funny 1ae75eecaf to you?”f9de2240b3a8f9ee

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He shook his head 451d1946ea with a bitter smile.79111b9cf9287999

“Sunbae-nim, you rejected c29049c479 all the confessions d38917fca7 you received because ceab9c4b82 you have your fc2f4c7793 own convictions, right? Of course, not 956b7d59b1 everyone’s feelings for f4a2dded2e someone are determined c117fec6cf by their convictions. But I also have ab63923cc6 my own convictions, too. I keep f92f6fa266 misunderstanding because 95c8c8cce1 of you. I keep getting excited, 58974643e3 so my life is 17a3d8f3fd a mess. I get absent-minded, 0a231ac374 I can’t focus, dfb846f4a9 and I keep 4bf9a6b323 thinking about you. And I had d87f586a21 a tiny bit 134bef3aab of hope that 9b48557a21 you might feel 5cc4ce8611 the same way… ac6a152264 That’s why I b867f612b0 told you. If you reject me bab61fed84 and then tell me 39f7b84a63 to go back to 4eeb483688 the way we were 371116c263 before, it’s too difficult faa68c4b54 for me. I’m sad I got 5859785bde rejected, but I don’t 944bcc8edc want my school life 5f9cfc47ed to become a mess. So I hope that 119dbeb0c7 you and I become 66d31d0094 strangers from now on.”a09201a944d6ad06

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He didn’t say anything b2d4340053 in response.5db340ac297d9fff

“Goodbye.”5356a16b67645a01

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I turned 9fcaa708ad away without 1a2cb1dd2c giving him 0d3c34b66e a chance 293926a558 to respond. Even if I 9dcdcb606b listened to what 7a4f139ec0 he had to 97350c6854 say, it would 14defdcbb0 have only led 5043ec4696 to another rollercoaster 61130a65de of emotions. The man who apologized d5483af8fe as he rejected me 5a9ac47602 stood in front of aea2c7f035 the apartment entrance in 11ae0eac70 case I turned around 8fa105ca3c and looked back at e56a430ff4 him.b072daac29c71d70

If anyone 4e296082dd else saw 949f70d52b this, they’d 5495e2d9bd think I c3a098f51f was the ad1096b13d one who 888278457c dumped him.83c34548051ebf87

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Tears fell ee23279064 uncontrollably down 5c057b0030 my face. I felt that I 03c5636702 was too immature to 4545d87ea9 handle my immature emotions f9a6bb5f0a in a more sophisticated 88d93cc581 way. After walking away from 9cb49e1997 him, I got on 63eca4124c the elevator alone. I felt ashamed of 2ac3ebaa59 my immaturity. I was annoyed a90126ff4a by the emotions 9b286aa565 that were surging 431b6218db inside me.766366dfe65fa5fb

When I came 4316915d2b home, I didn’t 5d80f5e15a want my family 4920071f76 to see my 6f029d9aaa tear-stained face, but ae3dcf4464 I ended up 56d0696c40 meeting the eyes de0a178f58 of my mortal d1e3f59d53 enemy, my oppa d036cfce00 who was five a1deffbd38 years older than c03e19480d me.666f656c8fd47c1d

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“Why are you 85dce18afe crying?”34fc76edf2d373a9

“The play was so 48b1e554a6 sad.”7994ba5c31a58ec6

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“And not because you fa285613d5 had a fight with 9c1b82c3e4 your boyfriend?”c902f03c8cf43576

My brother da4474e909 spoke sarcastically50351d591e4565d6

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“Has our Milhee 526a9bb0e8 gotten a boyfriend?”78ec311de78eafea

My dad, who had 869cd0214c been sitting on the 4d9614ffd9 living room sofa as 18018e56d7 he watched TV, suddenly 214e985cbd stood up.1f5da3fa3bad636b

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“Aigoo, it’s about 62046fb785 time.”54a5a7d7db9b45c7

My mom soothed af40bf15e7 my dad as 27333918aa if it wasn’t 34954694c6 anything to get 531a524a6f so worked up 4ed5602ea0 about.419b7dfc74b9ff9a

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“I don’t have a 24012bf60f boyfriend!”de9879d2acb77e17

“Then who c10f23079a walked you 317827111b to the 620e34d2b2 apartment entrance 86f37a34a3 earlier?”4c4faf8297603448

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Why did my 61d198e61f oppa have to 917d2d6d46 see that?ca866ba3be0b587a

“He’s not my 9af097c487 boyfriend!”6fc0cfb078d3b666

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“So a guy walked 6435cc11ab you all the way 88e8a4c8b4 to the front of 80844804d4 your home even though a4a79f18c4 he’s not your boyfriend? That kid must f4b3a3cf16 really like you.”246c52c5ad8d900e

I’m the a7b329118c one who d7096b05be likes him. That bastard 432b9b44f4 doesn’t like 3233c8e1ae me.176074c5e4184ff6

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If I 32cc9753bd shouted this df01a24a56 at my a7279853bf brother, he f7ff813b3c would make dd80ab36b7 fun of 5923b614b8 me for 78e2a47053 the rest 9dc6a3c7e5 of his c49dea37d9 life.f3fd9491654eaf71

“I-I said it’s eebe8eb89d not like that!”b4a1f04f2d5bd618

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“What do you de2168d325 mean? Does he have a e590650389 screw loose? He took a 9aaa69b27f girl he didn’t 9fefd4a5b6 like all the 23e17d6106 way to her fa8c0f23da house and stared 5895715030 at her until 02ab2debcb she got inside?”91790a9bcf967197

I turned my 37e26c89d4 back on my 09f6e0f998 loud, ridiculous family 1d39047cb3 and went into 88ab0971f8 my room. I threw 31fbe3667a myself on 5b2c76b48e my bed 359a4f05e8 and wept.6bf47a7b231ce717

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Just like Oppa said, b1fd9838ed Gong Mujin must have 4b3754ae4c a screw loose in 5e65bcdd14 his head. He took a 88a24ea552 girl he didn’t 4dd43f95e0 even like home, 48ebb9307b put a bandaid c1c63cf3ff on her heel, c2286c45a1 watched a play fc59d0f8cb with her, lent 95c7d2c2d3 her his book, 561ab36d27 brought her coffee, e42cf5d974 worried if she 27857d608c was sick, told 2a36ea575a her to eat 50bbd3a9b0 a lot, carried 5337ad4661 her bag, and 5e55875281 smiled at her fd853bd8dd all the time…8532c0702c738e3b

It was clear 26f4e9583c that Gong Mujin 8e46775cc2 had a screw 61e09c6e7c loose.4d796c0e5405c87c

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* * *25ae7db5c424d601

I layed in 98299ee61f bed, staring blankly c95a9035f4 at the ceiling. I had to 07e0a0f261 get up, but 60fcc9bcb9 I had no 4b0f52e278 energy at all. I checked 79e0a0d5d5 the time 7906013f56 on my b4afbb7cb7 phone and 881e1b1f36 covered myself 07f9acfebc with the 3b89644e70 blanket. My family had d4be8df14f all gone to 915621ea59 work, and I ff9652d95d was the only c2014155b2 one left at 9c11baf67a home.581c53656ab0b267

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It was 10 368f26bff9 AM. According to my schedule, 4b3222c577 I should have been 3c8ae87cb8 attending a sociology class. I didn’t want 6fc1d99e7d to go to 34cdfcd2e6 school. I was afraid 47b12a94f8 of running into 847375a2b5 him.dd1fa58d829f7a60

I’m such an immature e72bb888d6 person. I thought 42d7e5e9d2 this to 696cfdd7a9 myself, but c29e91790e I didn’t 51d72f34ae have the 251a421829 strength to b920dceb4d get up. I lay ebedc1d74f there listlessly, 80fca71af1 half asleep, 28df9f6ac2 when I 8d5d7fbdbf suddenly felt bb9e986bfd a presence 9b0d3146fc outside.6c9bf2b85ee3de82

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Who is it dd1c46249f and why are f7a4ce0176 they here at 19f35ae8e7 this hour? A burglar?aab9570a0abd0653

I clutched 038645d29c the hem ee9311a584 of my 974e757d31 blanket, wondering 13104e2f1b if I 4d3d470c4c should call 24772ed0d0 911. I had just 739c759632 pressed ‘91’ when…92d4fd3fd62ee6fd

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“Oh Milhee. Are you 904350549e still sleeping?”2749621558169605

Unexpectedly, it was 87dfbf670b my brother’s voice.5810039eb8e5ae6b

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“No. Why?”cc70f463fca44748

“Open the door.”62f790814501bd00

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My brother’s 2594b66bd7 voice sounded 7cd6635edb serious. My brother, 400505eaab who was 1fbc4b6286 five years e901344d7f older than 7294b5f1f2 me, was b296787cec usually a f4d8520ac3 nonchalant person, 00a4fd292e but he 7192a1ccd8 was the b646b82729 type of 54cb72b1d6 person who 4b121cdd91 had a 75c7d54e83 keen intuition 4968ae5f29 like a bb8963b34a ghost when 8f8469089c it came 2dfddcab2a to something b89b8a3ff3 that happened f6c018ee4f to me, e0d797b053 his younger bd98da1576 sister.47132a803a74e939

“What is it?”054c4260a99ab502

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I opened 15a37f86dd the door 90e3f7627f in my 545bba2243 pajamas. My brother, with his 24536b75eb brow furrowed, looked a 7c1d6a1f52 little scary.ab23bd7d28bb3f71

“Why aren’t you b37f47a345 going to school?”d45b714bd41a1dd7

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I was always the b694eaef2c last one to leave 4d32456fec the house. I would 8bef9d2db5 usually stay feba7ad847 out and 39095f3d69 kill some 0c6b8272d9 time just 84da90d7f4 before my 33b499461f family came 0f5089c0b3 home from 521bd0d74c work. I’ve been doing this 5fd846f460 for two weeks now. I pretended 2ae08d6ed6 to go 9fd1d41c67 to school, a13b3d325f but I 280753df9f think my 37cb27b167 brother noticed.eb64e12e3c0b087b

“Why would I not c6be8aa1e1 go to school? I don’t have 0ab310f722 classes this morning, 2d2c6af8f3 so I’m going 6f8c0839fa in the afternoon.”fcefc9affc87cb6a

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“Then go 83f07a8cb3 wash up 15ffd76a49 and come 9209283cb5 out. Let’s grab some lunch, 312e154b29 and I’ll take you 947a4a152e to school in the 680dcf8114 afternoon.”e62688685353fa4c

My brother 807bd3e009 was stubborn. His thick eyebrows were aaf169ae54 drawn together, and there 9fb724ad18 was no way to c1a5991353 avoid his glare.3a9628d64db656f4

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“Or do 1aa370eaa7 you not 91ae1157c3 have class 3b42af9719 in the f76b53a356 afternoon either? Should I call the 70240b165f school administration office and 436c069dc6 check?”25e95c2a743b91bc

I felt really 1c89d829c4 sorry for the 0422d294f1 woman who was 785aa8c6bc dating this man. My brother d94c96a7f6 had a 61d2af7b10 very persistent fa37c586c6 personality, and baccb0f21c whenever I 7a6c3559aa showed any 33c6cc7013 signs of 0b45ca53c1 being strange, 2cda6de0f8 he would 333c14ed37 bring up edd06878dd public information 2f033570f2 to scare 20d7147b0a me.da83b32ec496ba61

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“Do whatever you want!”9b5a8ce3409246dc

Another piece 9572e45c70 of evidence 65d0383980 to confirm 1139961509 that I b8575cd246 was an 8edaf92d5d immature human 4fc58a22c9 being.8b9f7e0b005c5d82

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“You haven’t been 3ab194024f to school since e2789ad6be that day, have 467a2f8cb7 you? Did that kid who d92379f3d3 followed you all the dd36f1af18 way home bully you?”0d854b345cc7e7a0

I wanted to 2e2205aaae avoid answering his e327b2ec4b question.b336b9a496346710

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“You didn’t fe1f594af0 go to 5d65fcf3a3 work today, b580840d6e Oppa?”a5c26040200080a9

“I took 2b6809900f a day 54c58afac4 off.”059ec77fca9e81dd

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“Why?”d9ca28fd5cb494ee

“Because I felt like 7f8a4f0e9b something was wrong with 90f3efbbbf you. Why are you 5d19c78407 acting like this?”c02e7932ad8dddd5

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I bit 5f7f898606 my lower 3853a62ab3 lip. Suddenly, my brother’s ec36ea7dea warmth brought tears 16592a4011 to my eyes.2eeba51fad07390a

“I confessed and 951f4f2e5c got rejected.”00ccc16f443fdbe7

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My voice squeaked out.503a90c0bb349e7d

“He dared ce5ab57596 to reject 3e4501405a you?”4cfcaff8d0eb69fa

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My brother began ba261e3ff3 to comfort me.1724466ccba629f1

“That bastard must really 98fcb77b94 have a screw loose. Did you confess e5a7787c91 that day? Is that why d88fcb430c you came home b8a4630395 crying? Because you were 735374fa14 dumped? But that bastard 949b96f7af brought the woman 9ad3732c1f he dumped all 36fa181e0e the way to e3f689da71 her house? Wow! He sure knows how ceea0acb71 to play the field!”c199ba28ee9a9607

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I cried and 97bc7047be laughed because I 533fae8ff7 was grateful to 462b757a69 see that my bce62ac669 brother was angrier 86df18b86a than me. Blood is thicker 7a6ca605f5 than water after 14a36f598c all.e8886ffe9763e13f

“Go wash up and 564cdb2b1f come out. Let’s go eat something a953fb8758 delicious before you head 8804c698a6 to school. You can’t keep skipping 3e23f2d882 classes because of something 787fbe6592 like this. Are you going to a68fe94aef give up on life b5e40a6f1f just because you got 0b8ffd83ea dumped once?”344e1eaa3846081e

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I shook my 66a6047e4e head.7023caf594593277

“I know it’s af2c3fb733 hard. I’ve been through times ffda32c798 like that in my ac6e43eadd life, too. Can’t you tell?”e47bab33f99f68bc

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I looked up 0eecd2ccdf at my brother. Today, for 4bd63c449f some reason, feaef82ecf he looked 563f9eb4f1 very mature.e52bcf36408e9ae3

“When did you become 9881f205df so grown up, Oppa?”36dfc77165bc2e05

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“I’m not e830243300 fully an b950995d34 adult yet.”8c29c7b86480687f

My heart ached.6cf90905e3ccc1b5

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“Hurry up. Wash up and 87f437f687 come out.”9e932966e8a27fb0

“I want to 56a3f47ab7 eat pork belly. If I wash up 4f834de691 and then eat meat, 7016da8469 I’ll go to school 6f7d356ab7 smelling like meat. Can’t I d71af921a1 wash up eeaa1ae62d after eating?”13b3d6282a30a3d3

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My brother smiled as ac00961e56 if he were willing 8ae7a26c8d to indulge me today.1073976aa5d97977