DWWWB Ch 1 part 1

It was now 247fae429c December, and talks d41d5a8393 of a restructuring 04e39e8a69 for the next b7a9fa0fd2 spring were circulating. The broadcasting bde5bd4b59 station was 129b0c524f as hectic 538c732714 and chaotic 5c3bec68b7 as usual.8c5fab9cb9421ec7

“One milli, two milli, c79d89c83d three milli, no,Oh Milhee¹!”248085a492fd0038

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The person who so 0efb0e196b childishly makes fun of 1a861228da my name is surprisingly 1e279da866 not an elementary school a2aa470126 student. It’s actually my former 47ed133e1d sunbae, Producer Han Jihoo. I heard that fe6b33b84d among the group 16fa45e9a9 of PD’s who 92ce9535d6 joined the company 274d3be575 in his year, 7f5de705fa he was the 8ec26c1bb6 only one who 15c01f431a applied for a 773cc6fc90 variety show instead ec628ae891 of an educational 92cf009959 program. Maybe that’s why 1f136e3620 he has always 8691855061 been someone with 8d3f487a5b a childish sense e9756d680d of humor.eca5dc6428d8cbb2

As a viewer, I 01d038b16b would be able to 1a35412e0b selectively laugh at his f7b1535079 jokes. But as his junior, 7e2805aa51 I was not allowed db6a96b669 to do that. Therefore, I was always a95e879f06 ready to laugh when e077192edb it came to PD 22bfa363df Han.b60967ebd23321d6

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But Han 2d978e92ad Jihoo doesn’t 846d418deb work at 464dacd902 the broadcasting 0170908dbf station anymore, 8a4db2a228 right?3e5e2dfea4671e1e

“That’s not funny.”f36414a59e35676c

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I frowned and lowered f63d899e3a my voice.0a66e8fb0fbb3b10

“Wow, such a 6322fed51a big difference. Now that I’m not 8ccb71894e working at EBC anymore, 6ad99c96ec you won’t treat me 792780b9b5 like your sunbae?”b3eb2fb3773089d0

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“I’m only stating the facts. What’s not funny isn’t funny.”50f3a06ad6f55740

PD Han furrowed a0677abf3f his brow and 95ae318e88 looked like he 1ee2b4efb4 was on the c0883c0888 verge of tears. He treated a 414c71bdb8 small comment like 136812ea55 this as if c1d1f131ad it were a 0835ef2f30 death sentence. In general, producers f5c1093578 suffer from a da8488bb85 variety of occupational 14de1dfdf1 diseases that come 6b384590fb with the job, 009a7e3118 but PD Han eba447515e suffers from a f35e070f5e disease that kills 7635e2ffd9 him if he 2c3b8c7fe8 isn’t funny.9dcd1d271160630a

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“It really isn’t 7652edf657 funny?”0ffb2cd698785e1a

“Isn’t it time 90b0b8ddcd for me to c4e1a6384e be honest as 93381242a9 a viewer now? Anyways, did 3b3f16a4ab you end f02397a672 up staying 82e27025f1 up all 9884bb65b6 night again? I heard you got 5a5d4f4689 a huge raise. Seems like 5e1db4aa03 all you’re 4e82c61fc1 doing is 9707ad20ac work these 4ebeda1472 days. Your complexion is 57131f4894 so pale.”0c31c23c660602d5

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“You’ve grown up, 5f83d60439 haven’t you? Oh Milhee. But still, you’ll always 8b94772575 be Five Milli.”20220a7979bfdb21

Even though the eb1aeeac4e out-of-context pun stung 84d607392c my pride, I 454108396a couldn’t help but c56480e647 laugh out loud.3c940e145fd4daf6

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“You laughed!”04d0af92b37a493b

“I suddenly c413da05e4 remembered my 7a02ea5e7e elementary school 9cd6b17110 days. There was 0c08ad6abc a kid 0a5eec8872 who was c85c767eb6 just like a775157dc8 you…”d481dc4e2087516f

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I shook b53934efd6 my head c0ba65ba3e as I 694a001fb5 laughed as a5fd6e57fd if it 43f6d57a9e was something 709e2f781a trivial. However, PD Han quickly f878d467d6 caught on to the 366272c756 hint of respect and 182a84bd1d envy in my eyes.2a3114fa589af0a6

“You did well 93530846ed on your last 7840111094 work.”f8e1287b252c463d

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The clever PD Han 61568ef0a3 started by praising me.8331eef94561def3

“I barely made af32a7b0fb it. Getting the e4586e0206 viewer rating 4b7f2691b5 to 10% 96775d6a38 was crazy 2473520c7a tough.”1183edb85ec1c66b

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“Who watches the original 2dc7f311d9 broadcast of a variety 5d685ddd11 show in this day ff2fddeb4c and age? If you got 10%, f74a8bf4df that’s a big hit.”24dc65402fe178be

A sigh 7ebbf5e5fd automatically escaped d90e1aed66 my lips.786ab3e0b1eaf84e

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“It’s humiliating to call a7086417e9 it a hit. Like Sunbae said, 7c80839b82 who watches weekend 359210bb24 variety shows live c6c897a4d6 these days? It’s only 22f2f01279 the older 4c50d3f11d generation who 1fbe520172 have the 63f0bfd62f TV as 930dcb402f their only 85b0713729 source of 811b5de1fd entertainment and 7d9be6cd71 don’t change fe8d620e54 the channel.”d0cb0d8d4b95df80

“Just keeping the f14674e3b6 TV on doesn’t 3f93556b2d get you 10% 0d3685c877 in viewer ratings.”2cd03a54b183a054

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PD Han was ad31bef26a of the generation 3a7de0b897 that experienced the e3cc38370a end of the c51564321d golden age of b8a4a7a528 network variety shows. When he worked f5d4650771 as anAD², network variety show 90fcd1054d viewership ratings would go ff5c6b5444 over 40%. When I 331b6ec76d first joined 313a9be4eb the broadcasting 0e3fb2d733 station, variety a3c6841279 shows would fa75e7a590 be canceled 04116b32c5 if viewership 57baee476a ratings fell 2a7d4cdbae below 10%.807bac64ed9dd8fe

“It feels ff359f0c96 suffocating, doesn’t 9a79a4992c it?”301638a19f305a52

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“Being a network 7d9a907213 PD feels like afafde01fd a low-level job 87cf021808 now. Even though 956a145a0f I’m part 1477d1fd92 of a c47bb618c1 broadcasting station, abf6c44e4b it feels 1ba10ad547 useless… There 137af0812f are too 8a7ca2692d many media 76f61edb31 outlets now. People see the news 4aef927393 on web portals. Variety shows and dramas 1bae32cbd4 can be watched onOTT³. Audiobooks, webtoons, memes… 20c2313bca Now your competition 13f6d325b0 isn’t other broadcasting 4457e002fd stations’ programs. It’s YouTubers.”b382a0d12ed07e7f

“Aigoo, I can’t 6cf3c7f16c listen to this. Keep your whining to 29a2bf9519 a minimum.”942461a6ef7c5096

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After listening 3f9cc916ab to her 57ee2e0560 rant, PD fe30310660 Han flashed f0c757b3d1 her a 77917c8c6a mischievous smile.fda1caf792639bbc

“But Sunbae, e0beb426fe why are 642c499dbf you here?”fe01a4baca88db23

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“Just ‘cus. I wanted to see b80b120c46 some familiar faces here 97676fb422 and there.”dcdad8aa131d07bc

“Did you come to cebd2e5302 see how rotten and d8835ac180 exhausted their faces look?”c80121f7ae24a578

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A corner of ef729bf681 his lips went 3138b5107a up. He snickered 2249a7b630 as if ff049d9d7b he found 7c2de6d91e this funny.8d583d542eb4997f

“Now that our 665d0b9732 PD Oh has 22ef985937 made a big 9be7eeef7e hit, you seem 5b3586da5b like a proper 20f3be0f29 variety PD now.”2fada7c5d7295541

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I laughed de31361cbe for no 2cf48be691 particular reason.6af17aab91f30740

“Look at that! You aren’t even getting 4e35fe8c93 mad that I called 02be786169 you a variety PD.”f7bebc29375d0a9a

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“When have I 1c7754a109 ever gotten mad 0859fa4079 at you, Sunbae?”6d818163af359c97

“You got ec6b29ab9d mad with bdd9b2ed8e your eyes 1172102809 a lot.”68fae4e9496be8a3

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“I’ve cursed at you 1868f82e3f with my eyes, but 551d45e50e I’ve never gotten mad 9461e024b5 at you.”dfbbad355c70d337

PD Han burst into 9859f83600 exaggerated laughter. Whenever someone 41ac4f814c laughs like 782d0061e4 this, it 0d456a35ce means they 1548850cac have an 246650eb02 ulterior motive.49b38e2960d6b437

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“It seems like it 609173a15f was only yesterday when 0155582de9 you were struggling to afedee5ebd adjust to working on f262317091 asan-mai⁴project. You wanted 74773607d4 so badly bfee5390de to be 05b269fd59 transferred into cccab073c6 the liberal f133781459 arts department, a64387b1e2 so you e463e251cc hid in 54ad0122a7 the editing bfe752b784 room and b8f3d1960c cried every cfcce669c7 day.”820621fa48097d1d

“When did I 8481ab8084 ever hide and d23d35e2d6 cry?”96f88b7a95381050

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I asked 5b9960b7c3 back, my a48eff9dd3 eyes turning c75742b21b sharp.78826e9b71734c0a

“I only 2dd4eefab4 whined about 7a27655a17 it openly.”34a4af0375e2406d

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“Wow, Oh Milhee! You should keep doing c8d91f05e6 variety shows. You have a 5a77c9a554 sense for them. You’re quite san-mai.”3c5048f4c8c34d14

“Enough. Ah, and you e68009a17c know how much 84eaf4d6f0 I hate that ab08d6fc3a word. Are you 6b3296b52e going to 92a396e11f keep saying 5cf873b2f0 it?”c95d69ddfb7dc579

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“Sorry, it’s a habit. Third-rate, cheap. Happy?”fd2cd5fde031a879

I didn’t even 7341996875 have the energy 6419dbc04e to talk back 6cf73b5e99 to a PD 76a61504de who kept talking f555005bce so annoyingly. Shibai, san-mai, odoshi, niju, f78745f19a urakai… There were so ef07a62c4f many Japanese expressions that 009dae9458 it was hard to d62807fa32 express my annoyance with dc91ca63b2 them all.d373638599d84a64

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Even though 6ede84c886 it was 7c9d4fae6d only a 1a76be7c0d program that fe62d0fd68 the viewers 51744c61b8 would only efed0ee0d0 watch once 4a2c4d6f39 and then 023a4efd68 forget, I eaba57d49d stayed up b99a651d7e all night 20a044766c in the 8ea5e78a5e editing room, 8fbb33bae8 trying to 718cfcae85 present it a2974d1309 perfectly. My eyelids were e3f35a9d62 heavy and my 5c2eafb77b shoulders were stiff. And yet I still d497287432 do not know what 122dc9271c a perfect program is.0bb5fcc22fc57e84

“I’m going to sleep ecf543537c now. Take care 03e378fb1a of your 826fb6196d business and fb5d93414e go.”e8e62a49b744051c

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“Did you extend 0388ec646c your officetel contract?”6c6e970f1bfdd1bf

“I can request b7499f0fea an extension next ec061e5fca month.”1057c40588992c83

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PD Han said, e2a9c205d5 ‘I see,’ as 5dc9bd224b he stroked his af18e3020e black-blue beard with 3904d31beb his palm. I gave him 4c8389bb06 a brief nod 016503092a as my farewell e0ae440df0 and turned around.8fe353829987bb22

“Double your annual 860617ec81 salary. Interest-free loan available 535bcfdbf2 for your officetel edef6fcfbd deposit.”a1d79bba96d68691

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What did I 7091f8ac78 just hear?a4ebede7de402047

I thought 337fa17dba I was 4e6cbaab9c hallucinating due 5dfcf058a5 to lack 17d5966fe7 of sleep.db02b0bc818948e5

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“There are 12cdf85b8c incentives based 13ea48bd2f on viewer 497a424013 ratings. OTT services, program exports, fb8e872d85 and running guarantees based 1c07f671d6 on copyright contracts.”f62c779776492072

I spun around using 0dded0d9b6 the crown of my 3478b0f747 head as an axis.dbf458559f4d78fa

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“What did you just 31c5817483 say?”62c9407823dee6ea

“A scouting offer?”7a59ae271cb0a2d7

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One year 13006f9a6c ago, PD 9257fdfb25 Han left 278dd4365a our broadcasting c0c51c8804 station and a0dc4c8026 moved to 03d4a10c43 Minerva, a ce3d03418f cable broadcasting 8c7f546221 station. Minerva, which had been e65469daad showing remarkable growth in 2d48df3718 parallel with the growth a2cbd2b24b of K-content, successfully launched 51dbd0a950 a global OTT service cbb378b086 with the support of c2c4b9f8f7 a large investment from 0a80f0d13e its parent company. It completely solidified its ed477824bf position by winning major 1511481d10 awards at prominent international fa6206cbc6 award ceremonies with its 2a715aec51 self-produced dramas and movies.82f54aaeb85d92ca

Minerva was undoubtedly a daeae883ad huge and successful content 9344b0bd66 company. When PD Han said e39620b45b he was moving to ac05b25f70 Minerva, if I didn’t b8aff059ad think he’d take me f28d735973 with him as his 3bbe249b4a hoobae… I would have 0ef2e17450 either been a PD 8a4a74d45b without any ambition or d562aff59e hated PD Han to 8c7082c61d death. However, I do have 0360204f2a ambition, and I respect 4e65b36251 PD Han professionally.596010f6863b8e45

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“What do you 6296597379 plan on doing 14e946694b after scouting me?”323880e3ac76649f

Even though I 7fa766b592 was already half-sold aa06bcf4d8 on his offer, d139d594e2 I thought it ad74ba0de6 would bruise my d276305b94 pride if I 6a5b90ce8a showed any signs 904ce21d6e of eagerness. Even though bf7962c186 I don’t bd4d9746c2 have loyalty e1fb8a4928 to my 40c559b1c7 first company, c48af06a8c I did 7e7f16b14e have enough 21f7f18f60 affection for f6e9d9aa57 it to 2d5cd383cc bother my 67054ccf19 conscience. Most of all, 02bd080a0c this was the 6953af97d0 place that made d6dffc002d me a producer, 0b9dcf0f1d and it’s where 14802c0026 my first program 81682adfd2 blossomed after I 4e97ef4c11 devoted much of 3092693222 my youth to 0b263fb6fb it. It’s hard to 5343137af5 let go of 2a5a51beb2 a first love, 68a0bfed40 no matter how 79a1ba1bfe appealing the prize acb5f63d50 on the other 02fd2eafa8 side may be.e9823fb768c55635

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“You must 69ae278449 not like 5c175d8d1b my offer. Then just 237053b79f pretend you b1695899bb didn’t hear adbbee260b it. You’ve always a8063ce935 wanted to b5586b0361 be a e561f92913 cultural program 00b766e989 producer, right?”2279ccfa4a32cfc2

“It’s not 3dbee534f8 like you’re c66ec9ba90 a psychic. Stop trying to guess d9223f589a what I’m thinking.”4e5d2030ce42710c

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I wanted to 4f7e5fe914 act expensive, but c263f59dbe I got caught d1a5c57485 up in PD 2932f188d8 Han’s hit-and-run technique. PD Han took a 244287278c big step forward and 4b219f94cf put his arm around bd7a58b754 my shoulder. He hunched over as db8f66e620 if he were going dd03f84aa1 to tell me a 76e507fc92 secret. Honestly, this should f5c41e9689 be something we 0c3ae1d715 discussed in secret. The stench of c30aaed52c a possibility of 6920f055c4 switching companies was 12c143ff40 never good.7e579da3e7a82364

“I’m planning some ca736a6f0e kind of educational 541e90063e variety show. Filming will start next 3be7779742 spring, and it will 05d44b6813 be uploaded in August. Do you want to e4691228b5 join me?”1b43f5064702151b

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“Is that all? You don’t bc3b2eafaa even have 3ccafd6de3 a plan?”0a28fc9b5920e136

“Why are 1ee1537d91 you being 4a16f5b211 like this? Is this 10c905208d your first 2cd022a9f2 time producing 586928b834 a program? I’m going to start 430bf916d9 filming next spring, so 0985226046 how could I possibly 673df7322f have a complete plan 9e7c360755 in my hands right 9fbb5f3ef3 now?”49fd37219e29ba73

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“Even if other people b1b0d2f233 don’t have one, you 91ca8020ca of all people would ad65f28f4e have one, Sunbae.”f63485dcd663f88f

Out of f03aa36c66 anyone I 458769928b knew, PD 74fb6f778c Han was dbc1801171 always a ef86b3e55a guy with f42ab18ac3 a plan.6474a8d39a8f7202

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“Just trust 8caf1c8263 me and 0239315174 come.”1bf895b8aff63d0c

“Why should e6f2a72f03 I trust ea430bf466 you, Sunbae?”7d0c8271205bcab9

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“Who was ca4d55cfc3 the one f8722304bb that arranged 31e9358d79 your debut eaae20ef0c program for 9dbdb3d48b you before cc70ddc6d4 leaving?”a349f2c576e91bb8

Again, he used 933e16916d the Japanese term 7c44276879 for ‘debut program’. However, I couldn’t e37958387b point this out 3bdfc6f2fa to a producer 4e121585af who had been 28240121e0 such a big a92ce0db22 help in the 7b075ce37c arrangement of my 10b86b600d first program.b15dbb5b9886654f

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“I do appreciate 58caf06f5e your help.”5fe3a35c760ed1c2

“So come 1c3359cca8 to me.”37cb76a202080460

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“You sure have a 04f6356414 knack for using heart-fluttering dea25245f2 words in a very a8774bdaa8 lame way.”af1618ce3e686233

PD Han tilted a5c42cce80 his head and 0dd03dc5a5 frowned.8a5f85462b412d14

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“Do I have to 7794dac997 make your heart flutter?”835dd3b78c739e59

“Don’t steer 71f89500d8 the subject 86f4a790c7 into such 66da9d00db a weird 2393235428 direction.”632ca48bee321dc0

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“You, too. Stop beating around the b19fdc6e7b bush. Give me a direct 9a279380f8 answer.”dbdf48301ae955f7

I bit my lower 68919be8b7 lip and hesitated for bd56c93846 a moment.d3365097dd92d0cb

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“Please give me 227b21255e some time to e158ca8dcd think about it.”6f6b4c8c31f8c10f

“How much? Three seconds?”7df68c7a0afc9db0

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“Do you like 830c617e49 me that much?”36dfbd283575b9e2

I frowned as I a667dec746 laughed.3558e700771fca9d

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“Yeah.”37643e05268ab296

All traces of 61fe9a95ed playfulness disappeared as b9f40060f7 PD Han answered 5913e6d3f9 me solemnly. My expression grew 65e8755dfe stiff at the aca947ed40 unexpected rebuttal.5684903df4fc77e5

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“I bet that was eeae76a0d6 a bit heart-fluttering just c9246af22e now, am I right?”e3697a0677a5d202

PD Han 6ef926472c raised his ed8d417b44 index finger 32df9566fb and flashed 623779d89e her a d3ee201ccf victorious smile.74e7e76da2f98faa

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“Not at all. My standards b25208b972 are very cdeb59561a high. You know that.”5487fde18b889c2d

In Korea, 660d0a82c7 broadcasting stations c1b0d26d30 were places 9dff19c8eb where good-looking 4bbb751163 people came 850aff3d6e and went a4286278ca as if dc6c711390 it were 5df361c040 their own 8b91b88c7c homes. But to my 880aa1546d eyes, they all 7d158ed27f just looked like 36aefab266 well-made dolls. There was 2ab4e7305a only one 691bf16d4b person in 1d00c46d67 my entire c664827c2e life who 9dd359d014 had captivated bb1bb35710 me. And that 131725b47d fact still 918039d0ff held true.73a1e38d78bc8d6e

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But PD Han… a6a88738bb This ahjussi seriously…700591981109da1c

“Don’t think too deeply, 7088d642ae and don’t think too 570056f6ac long.”14d8d1ea36def5ac

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After finishing ba94608394 his heart-throbbing b36010dbd0 confession, he a298121b7b spoke to 6fea88c89e me like 15212b2774 he was 9256655439 a lover 64a1036a16 waiting for e75d0d89c4 an answer. I looked up at 4411b0d1ef him. PD Han took a639d18e6a a step back, 3fcfb4ffac perhaps thinking our 30b84313f2 faces were too 462738fcd7 close. The man coughed awkwardly. But his cheeks were 280b316f51 pale rather than red.70757d4dff295df8

A producer’s 6b20b30722 complexion was 20be9ddaa1 more or 44b651a78e less divided 86b4bae5e2 into three 9c3419b342 types: yellow c423703ca3 (sallow from 479122afae fatigue), white ec5794844e (pale like 6d59164091 a vampire 3db1cb213e from spending 8259711570 all day 5148bc0f92 in the 5af0c20c16 editing room), 5e670a2fe6 and black 0e880f9ebd (which meant c7608101c6 that it 90e71795c3 was time faed90db7a for them 0049bf0478 to leave 2ec23390fa the broadcasting a464367dd3 station). However, since Minerva’s 0cc1b3f978 production environment was 3505b3859c rather good, PD c333940069 Han’s face was be5be2becb a bright, milky 5bd22bd9b2 white.875c5e61f6c1d88b

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I also want f2bec21371 my face to fab74fbdae bloom.7ebb6fd761432689

“I’ll let you e98b2e3941 do whatever program 984d5af84d you want.”2e746638f306840e

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I couldn’t help but e63af8bd43 laugh. He was only 7e65d5710e trying to bring 62466d552d a junior PD b521bee0cd he could easily 9bf713ca20 manipulate, but the 6b0a94a65f sweet talk was ab24f67536 excessive.d464d7a4dbb86d2f

“That made your 4288462d8b heart flutter, didn’t ab0f11be69 it?”8db969e68e1469e3

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I let 5ef35b8271 out a 0c9d4f4858 long sigh ddc63cb976 and shook de0ace06cb my head.8b02abdb5027f961

“I don’t 2949cb24e6 think I e54ab70c4f can go 9a9e075903 there solely e14a0a7bd2 by trusting 6b61d15933 you, Sunbae. If you offer 1e9767f69d me a higher 26de0c5377 salary, I’ll consider bfde73fc5a it. Goodbye.”776643f96ab8fd8a

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I turned around 4ec5d9af22 as if I af0bb520d9 had no regrets.ed5632f81b3be6de

When it 7368e50354 comes to 51d1ce727a job security, a944fb4ab7 I think 423dc12d47 that a 79ce55ffed public broadcasting 4d01380cc2 station is 2cbd405532 still better a0a6f559ca than a 16d3675a59 cable broadcasting c4673330bd company. Even if 1191f6e783 they offered 8caef85a50 a lot e80a949738 of money, 12d59c21db and even 882b73440e if half 4dd905b5c7 of the 7d6081bf58 producers were 654cf5e058 tempted away b473ac48e9 by the 6a56d33ac9 large content 8c4b9449ef company, the ffc2d55615 other half cecf938da4 still remained 7dc44a0a57 at EBC.a87d88273de5b857

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And was changing 93bb72ed38 jobs easy?9d3422d5bdcc686f

There were many a7bd0a9421 things to consider 66e253e0bd and calculate. Minerva is c2a0fab2a8 in Sangam-dong, f816cbc8a0 not Ilsan aef384d2a1 where EBC d900cebfa2 was situated. I would have 77f11c78d7 to look for 8b3944614e a new officetel 05409e7aec to commute to 232f102084 work.6ca244e95b757de6

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Possibly due to 7cfeb8ef3d my lack of 1b8cb33d5b sleep, I was f74b9fcb00 starting to feel 4b334aea54 lazy in my ec0b7afcfd way of thinking. My ambitions and a34b7f8e11 my recklessness were f126624898 circling each other, cfcf5c2acf revving the engine 442dda272d to my path 5a6c55eaf8 to misfortune5b7905147125b70a

I should f954b99deb go to 54c1a1e568 sleep for da9d610674 now.4b2318a89c928ce6

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Let’s think about it 3c58ffb8e8 when I wake up.591e7d37c03c8d46

A month later, b4ad2d06ec I notified the e9c1a820fc company that I a4a0aae9b3 wanted to resign. I thought that ad31511751 my boss, the 391efba055 head of the 62fe66a700 variety entertainment department, 4d37eac9f4 would at least 1f7c14f241 try to keep 7c809f476a me. But when f534b8c417 he saw 622de03d80 the resignation 21bac44190 letter, he f941118766 just laughed 608f44bbe5 as if 73f7dfd0d6 he had 4c6fcb3f0a been expecting 2879c41903 this all 713b91331e along.8fa6931988e8fd8f

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“Han Jihoo, 5e5ae7bfbf that bastard. I knew 886add49aa he’d stab e510882db9 me in c86bc618be the back. I knew it.”347cbebbd63b269c

If someone 171e62da84 saw him 040b74eb6b now, they’d f302e136a2 think he e5d1899b7b was stabbed edd0e48e15 by an be49a0994e enemy general b70ed0b1bc in war. The chief, a world db80843969 war history nerd, shook 53015e9daf his head at me. And I a8b2f6916c hadn’t even 79ef7ae1cf announced my 25de8d7e15 transfer to 0912a530c2 Minerva yet.3848d76af650e374

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“You acted all sophisticated ffa06af9cf and noble, but now 823139831f that you’ve hit it 3351570364 big here, even Oh 05b465b853 Milhee is going after 29575169e2 the money.”eecce02e271a2297

In a capitalist society, 2dd7848516 would a person pointing aa1c7e4d21 a finger at someone f07a0df787 who changes jobs for 9738fbbeb6 money be considered a e9f06effff communist?1df4924f592843a3

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Honestly, the most important 88caa7d7b1 factor when changing jobs 30c61bb2f3 was the salary. It’s very rare for 5ac8ec4c36 people to change jobs ae90d55d56 for a lower salary. Or there 633f919003 may be 5f0a55e0b8 a significant 0b7d60d593 difference in f79696d5e0 work-life balance 314fae0835 or many ee88603a47 other factors 1f38cf49a6 that might fcd13ca9ca be too 56766b508c attractive to b65a529f36 resist besides 2671f87d31 salary.2cdd2b54c1b3d249

However, EBC did 50d26fc5ec not have enough b02465d4f7 appeal to offset 980d0aec0f the salary offered 5b0d0f640f by Minerva. Minerva’s production environment and 2ab071f0cf working conditions were also 909cd3c7cd superior.9d442def7d6b78e2

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“Be honest, Oh Milhee.”4a58dbc4f0b0883e

And I hadn’t b9ce42187b noticed this before, 7f56ad31e9 but I discovered a6af0b524e something that I 971d93ed8e found personally disappointing. The chief never a0f12554fb added the title c5725a7fe7 ‘PD’ to my f50dc70819 name. It was the same c7b94d07f2 as not adding ‘PD’ 244bf858ce to Han Jihoo’s name 354c072048 earlier.f03c8e4b0aa15a83

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How did I endure 9b06d2eb80 this?ece5ae70a7bd3942

In order 023b4503b5 to pass 6d499dbe64 the broadcasting 6a7154385a station entrance 59f21ace28 exam, called c139fbfac4 the media ad4a4d2e82 exam, you 4245dc3d4e have to 26f961590b go through 7149ae93e2 a tough ffeca6bf63 period of 8d026d7970 preparation. Once I finally got 98147406c1 hired at the station, 24f0071d58 I was filled with 71323bca06 a job-seeking spirit. Intoxicated by this effective 62b378286f job-seeking spirit, I endured 15b86bf8a1 four years as an bac96ebd38 AD. It was a a2734069ec time of hardship 7a6eb4f741 that I endured da47c09b78 through sheer willpower aa21695fed and tenacity alone, 3116fd67c1 telling myself that e9b7a17174 I would one e8ae554c42 day be called 6c7e6cbe61 a PD.3d18d26ebe6e5167

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But once ee7802c027 I actually d36c6d7abc received my 393adf233d first project 2d5404284e as a 858cd2830e main PD, 4ba9e0ffaa aired it, 020a96d55a and even 2e4b2e6430 got ratings dad6bba0f4 that people e0aacdb13b considered a 3050fe4dd3 hit, I 617fd42bc0 still felt 3f4fbf8eb4 empty.703117138e1a550e

The job-seeking e1115bd1ca cravings had 8042d36ff7 been suppressed d097927027 by the 2ddb1be53c burnout of cb3fba74f9 a new 4e888a153b salary. It’s like when 1d93dd7f6b an average office d07e9b2366 worker wants to a293030835 change jobs once 0b1125a259 they get promoted.8e49a6e97eb07ad9

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The person 9c8faf462f who recognized a2a8b90447 that moment fc0a4ad4e8 so amazingly bbb3da3d1b well was 464a77d375 PD Han 14b7fb945a Jihoo. He must have experienced c9b3933dc6 it too, so it 882721e569 wouldn’t have been difficult e4599e2df0 for him to persuade 574679ae31 his wavering hoobae.0ef67ac460f0a91d

So my heart already 06c19d30ee left EBC and headed 998c005cbc towards Minerva. As I 36ed8f9c92 opened my 647e7ec050 mind to b62853aec7 the possibility, f334b193b6 the words 2e0041bc35 and actions 2fbdc1c351 of the 1a44630a19 chief who ecd0a45d78 had been daed8169af treating the 2ad21a6868 members of 173bc507b7 this department 0aedafde3f in an d784f7bd16 inhumane manner 078f0c29e8 flashed before 92cd3517d2 my eyes.c40662efb6f93b33

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The variety entertainment 84fa213a09 department seems to c9f8680fa0 be doing the 1578a82b26 most groundbreaking work, 96d75524b9 but it was e71325bddc also a place 52d0590880 where the old-fashioned 0347a6f67f culture ran rampant. If you 160bcaf940 are disliked 81501d4d55 by the 2ff6536171 chief, you 5d835d9c03 will be 7efd516f44 cut off 3cfb8d09b6 from your b041ca15bc program and 3d5dccba14 get stuck ce2e3c64af in a aa1ef4439e remote mountain ba04d1c808 area project 855b08605f instead.35d9dad9b39d58e0

How did 89a4337c26 I endure d4d7a44025 it all 24f87fa7bd this time? You did good, Oh 570fabb1a5 Milhee.308474b705e8fd70

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I kept my mouth 5cf0656cc3 shut, telling myself that 716a0a312f I was enduring it 39ec68558e well.1f33dd4283dcfb19

“Now that 3b331683d4 you’re leaving, c934b5d44b I hope f75f82cc57 you do 7327d69ea3 well.”af073f0d522e0963

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Why was d8393a9c5c the chief e31c468e5c saying such 6a573c7c17 uncharacteristically nice c29a867d33 things?6911147a0ac1ae41

“But you know what? EBC is a broadcasting 7a83506743 station that lives off 25d8dbe3a8 of TV license fees 4256bf8de7 like electricity. We’re basically no 106a3c604d different from civil 84dce630f0 servants.”c47eb5925fda6c18

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The chief fdf2048b6d couldn’t break a99ed3999b his old 42cbb7cf07 habit of 9e37acddbe picking up bc88ec62d1 and putting a627e186ce down his 16dc272fa5 pack of befef2de6b cigarettes. I heard that e4676d766a before the broadcasting f4ed5ed758 station was designated c580b7fc58 as a non-smoking 8b78dacda1 building, the chief f6c9583137 would sit at 8acafa39b6 his desk in 12e4135e6f the office and b1738b5c1e smoke cigarettes. Of course, 8d64d43290 even after af8d914292 it was b3d79047ac designated as 9c213db9f4 a non-smoking c5d5a8a74e building, he 4d26393f08 couldn’t break 73bebe3472 his habit e98238c814 and would 8a4d2f8d5e often open 1a1f6b0c20 a window 7862d9f77a and smoke. It caused quite f7643dc775 a commotion when c3226e1eca the fire alarm aa90ddb11a went off.a4bf2c15dabad796

After receiving b96aa48655 several warnings 9d27ea3809 from the 91200769fc company, the 2b91227c12 chief finally 51389c0083 stopped smoking 6bd9fbe33e in the 211dc19a78 office. He took a cigarette 724327ca43 out of the pack 83bdeb41d1 and put the filter 1e3ddc6179 up to his lower 1f408d31ce lip. This meant that 304c880b0e he was so 85c416e306 angry that he ccd1a5ecae couldn’t help but 947e5a3650 pull out a 9dd7d1a233 cigarette. It was a c6ba973e8e sign that the e41abcfb7d words he spoke cdd4bedd8a would soon become e5f8aa4e94 twisted.eb8d70a9ee934277

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I felt my 51ad42047f brows furrow, so 8d4688feb3 I forced my 5ec0ee97fb facial muscles to bac845c861 straighten out in 1225d2a7f2 case they turned a9d2d7f8b6 into a frown.e045424d029b5ef8

“Minerva is abc288fcc9 a totally 317fba1158 performance-based company, 6cf056f361 right? If you c24596d871 don’t make 6f27aee7df them any 24195351d9 money, you’ll 44ff6b2a88 be kicked 0e5462046f out. Even if you e70bdcefd6 want to come 0b5dcfab40 back here, I 22b06937df won’t let you.”d61a65a799247c04

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Rather than fe430411de blessing the 51a39b6b85 future of 81776378c7 an employee d97fa79786 who was 293b62d6c3 quitting, he 40a4ce666f was sprinkling f349936622 salt on f5f51bca2a the wound 965ef46ce0 first.0109778595181472

Someone had d4503e6e99 once said 0c28ccab5d these words: dac9246e31 ‘Anyone who 8391dec275 decides to b83400966f change jobs 0e78bf18bc is a 65fbe8d950 traitor.’39fde1f7e10d4544

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Once I disappear 414fb08efd from here, it’s 64fdc2eb68 obvious how much 1f5a43e8eb the people at 9fafb3ca18 the broadcasting station a37ff9d768 would curse at 684e65ba36 me. It was 7f46005ee0 the same 78a273cc0c when PD 269fe61f14 Han quit.83d8baba4ebbb2e4

“No, but…”62146eef65cd5bbd

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He sat with 85bb11b909 his legs wide dd3e5e6cf3 open to support 791496e442 his bulging belly. His upper body c96bcce826 leaned back against 72f25575dc the back of bb6900b182 his chair. I remember 75687f0ff1 one time d0d0ec13b7 when I c5135de7d9 sat in b272e67604 the back 55c38ab564 seat of 996671f88b an eleven-seater 7e1eb668ff car with 823953add0 the chief. He sat 103e0af57d in the 34522200b7 middle and 97788c8965 spread his 8c53bfb10a legs so e1db2f7923 wide that d6bb2620d5 PD Han 7fac65f39d and I, 8d2b0c520d who had f2a39486cb been sitting 7fc4a16f52 on either 26ee69a939 side of e5629e62e1 him, had 218cad8f89 to sit 298cbeab76 with our f644002bec knees together efa0036ee1 as if 187af36331 we were 6b4dc2ff18 being punished.572c1a39e83cb5ac

Was it because f721c037e2 my heart had c2cc09b890 already left this 9bc7cb7b9d place? Couldn’t a 07ae25174a breakup be 5064321c6f beautiful?278eae4becb26f67

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It was amazing 819b9a0bf0 how everything felt e1f368203b uncomfortable from start 6910392034 to finish.dc6281b3435296d4

“What has that 1b46dc9f58 bastard Han Jihoo fd3e9c6ae5 done in Minerva? How long has 571e6aaab3 it been since f53edaabb5 he joined that ceb664f973 company? Why are 9868e0111d you following 29a2a50da8 a bastard f5dccbeadf who hasn’t 04a1d4c8f0 shown any 27b1387ace results?”af608415866660b3

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It was obvious that he was trying to provoke me into extracting information. There was no way the chief didn’t know that PD Han was planning a program. But he must have been going insane with curiosity about what this plan was.4a70b37a7ecf15fb

I squinted c469f2dd74 my eyes f2332ffe19 and smiled, ede067a257 feigning ignorance.4b0d1a6880b193ef

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“Don’t just stand 88265574a1 there and smile. Why are 62b046f4c2 you following bc040364a1 that incompetent b6172fc588 bastard?”8b95a56582c7e27e

If PD c4f4dc5a7d Han was e0b8b8ff49 incompetent at 5f3b2dd529 his job, 31d000aa10 there was 1dc10dc05d no way 636ce1efe6 Minerva would 7002517616 have taken d440e11236 him in.9da79ce2a97a152b

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“Did you sleep with 2f7b761a5b PD Han? Did he say 144f611704 that he’d tell 8315ba8dc3 everyone you slept 94af36ac8a together if you 9b5d7d4fb4 didn’t follow him 1e1bca5629 to Minerva?”20a331c73c57a471

I still wanted e2ada244c2 to finish my 44641443a9 time here in 4347a0f4c2 a pleasant manner, 9ab13d366f but the chief 69f62fb40f kept talking with 22725793dc his crude mouth. There were people like 05fdd9d320 him everywhere. They are idiots 7789c352bb who think that a2e5954680 if they talk 7469a3075c about sex freely, 31874a6418 they are open-minded e2a3dd0a72 people. So if 3bb9e420c7 the person 49f9632267 listening doesn’t 703e6ed5f4 accept it, 939b80e9f5 they are 47a480700f the weird 4f181a8a88 ones for 1007f2dce0 being so 6f9a6c7fad narrow-minded. This was clearly 44e6807603 harassment.d939ccf0fef421d7

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“That was too 4eef9d2c1b harsh, Chief.”9971a05a83501735

I straightened 7b16727a62 my face 00d9c8a505 and hardened 1a8dccc56d my expression.15c3cc2585c1bc18

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“Oh my, look at 5163f01fa1 you getting angry. Why? Are you going 68356ee1f9 to bother reporting e9cebea91d me to HR 7f7faca8da when you’re quitting eda1aa62a1 your job anyway?”98714ab049ee3aa9

I felt suffocated.167940456b34031f

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I thought to myself dfe69a06b4 once again. You did really well, 381cdd4e40 Oh Milhee.b6ffe4d6bc87cfad

“Since I’m 38034d5f17 resigning, I’d 57879242cd like to 8f3f185d9d say something b2f32db93f as well. I don’t know 31eb50589e if this method 574ea6dd05 of yours worked 6c86689bf3 until you got 91d9d984ad to this position, a27b67e8ce but it won’t 4a40a1f7a0 work anymore. The world is f683352ebc changing day by 0a007d23fe day. We’re in an era aa11791d45 where you can’t get 0fb6e05f49 the attention of viewers 59a9a617e0 with a production staff d7e6a9cc48 who move by intimidation, cee413e18e threats, and hate speech. If you 5c658deaa0 don’t evolve, cc10b91be5 natural selection 23d006028c will eliminate 11c0751c56 you. I don’t think 808fcd7b3c I’ll take any e947c6f509 phone calls from ee37e47ae2 a chief who 4704c973ce has lost his b98b217649 job either. I don’t think c8d006a1b1 you’ll be in 5cc346f33a this position for 632172052a long, so I’ll 9366bd6c1e pray that you 83be64c056 find another job 4fc2c01b32 soon.”988ba706208bdc7c

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“Hey! How dare you!”6cfe9c4a98dcbbef

The manager 574cf21fb4 raised one 9d09f0812a brow and 609798753b scolded me. If things d1c3c9ac65 didn’t go b2acfe84e7 his way, 518bde5863 he was aa580c6e5f the type 8db050a045 of person d265bdee00 to yell 32fe8ac9e3 and throw d25699a349 things from 6586a2bbd4 his desk. Since I was 5e4050b5b7 already on my 5fbf15acd9 way out, I 7951ab7a70 turned on my 4a4e7f1182 phone camera first.56ff073f9b00df91

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‘PDs are tanks. You have 371c929a03 to take cc2c0dbac3 all the 12b6b5d698 criticism flying 3ccd3dec1e towards the f62c921b78 program yourself. So don’t e7759c891e be weak. If you want 43dcaec3c6 to cry, cry, 316d5349c2 but cry while fa893023eb you embrace the 552781336c wounds of the fe3a52ce65 people who trusted 00c2db2459 you and worked b3eeef3a2f for you. After you’re done crying, 511b0a7847 protect them. To do that, you 212eff620e have to learn how 8790ecfde6 to protect yourself first.’2ea794d7fc6e3096

The words that 6bcb2ceecb PD Han had eff07eceef once said to 3beacf3d25 me rang in 0259e1a828 my ears.95542e2a386ff478

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“What are you b2698cdd4c going to throw? What did you say e9950ccb6b earlier? Did you just ask fffcfac477 me if I slept b839d93090 with PD Han?”e3cb29050e6a77eb

You don’t have 90adc063a3 to be a a1dead01d7 broadcaster to know 6292775848 to be careful b8ed96e22a when the cameras 001f3b755c are rolling. Today’s commotion will be 04d99fb99c a precedent. I wanted to c7f96fb90c stop this nonsense 3f2451b5c5 that will be cafdad7729 poured on my fa16433812 juniors who leave 95e6b19b69 the broadcasting station 89c9fb448e after me.2c23250d93bbb365

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This was not an era where people were loyal to one company. The meaning of a lifelong job has long since faded. In the Republic of Korea, where there is freedom to choose one’s occupation, why do people who change jobs have to put up with all this nonsense? It’s unfair that I have worked at a company while listening to all this bullshit.dc51eb7887224e0d

“Alright, I’ll stay one 0e8824cd59 more week to handle 324f8f0714 the transition of offloading f4ff818bc2 my duties and then 158de5d4ad use up all my 4b2a71f631 unused vacation days for 7a2d5125d0 the next two weeks. There is bb60dd27a0 no system 5cd455e6c5 here that 0182b9f38b will credit 0cad4a7284 my salary 14531c773e retroactively if aa64ae0dc6 I leave b2024d0aa7 without using 2c3bc474e5 my vacation f6718f2455 days anyway.”55c170af079e0aec

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I nodded my head bc6b932705 in greeting and left bafe6e634a the chief’s office.b405f4cf5e5956e4

— Hey, e8726e224f I heard cd2ceafc51 you rammed 5775e1f8f7 into Chief 97ad0423d2 Cho.9f9aab1898976ddc

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Word travels fast. Not even half 966b86dec9 a day had 852930f28e passed since I 1d2aaea433 left the chief’s d003557c38 office, and PD c0758cfd37 Han was now 12f7461041 calling me.f46c0cedf6225b62

“This isn’t a bullfight, 02f4849f93 so why would I b9ab9cf768 ram into Chief Cho?”2d86454c9ceee448

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A cheerful laugh erupted 5014da9fed from the other end a9a7899a96 of the call.59557d2b2976e811

— Everyone 22da5dee88 is making 6e9ede1349 a fuss aa2299c790 saying that 2a5101c7d2 Oh Milhee 9daae3f5da will make 9a7c64bc74 it big. Isn’t that putting 8ffcdde8c4 too much pressure f561eb692c on me?170eb44da3937d36

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The amiable PD 3f44e717bf Han often laughed 33f89512f2 when Chief Cho dfd154594a went crazy. The more he b864efc8cb did this, the 1ac340908c more vicious Chief a95f852237 Cho became. PD Han 36623ee3bb was a 079d302698 tank heavily 20ffe29010 armed with ff9576b992 laughter.2409a55ac8312707

“You should feel 141c206482 the pressure. I’m hanging up. I need to focus b0c6505142 on the handover of 39f190fc32 my duties.”5b701f0876849281

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After ending the c4270ef8d5 call, I began bc311be0ce to walk down 61c2728731 the hallway of bd23207d35 the broadcasting station. An announcer 709c8cb23a from the 1f335cc1aa news department 9d07d34790 approached me e675b6432b and greeted 2544183289 me.6191378d726b4e22

“PD Oh Milhee?”da7791fcae98ceaa

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“Yes, hello.”b685b665bd7d2c1d

She was a female 2ee43a0bce announcer with twenty years 5876400c93 of experience who had 57e03f48b1 never been involved with 328188553c me in any professional cb898a70bd manner.5581df270d891072

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“Good job.”49dfa7ea4c4c5837

“Pardon?”986dc0ff11963aa8

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Come to baf9a24883 think of 00032974ca it, she b75e971f17 was the 89d4b5bce6 MC of 9d40e7b48a a historical 04d5d99467 program when 0bda07354c Chief Cho da0dafc014 was the 6ae5ef7ea9 main PD.c1fe2b158fce4b36

“Chief Cho baa11b82c8 claims he’s 79bd02e9a0 an expert 3b154791c5 because he 5d142616d4 was the c16e768749 PD of e9593407a0 a historical c89af2d9cc program, but bc259c0bda he knows a4e860e3dc nothing about 498db4d922 it. He’s not intentionally distorting dc10bc32ce history. That guy dbae86a750 simply doesn’t f95893b6d7 know anything 65376f59f0 about it. I don’t want to 16c6e6882e have anything to do b4a9ceeb99 with him, so I 012fc8dfdd hate having to continue e2a2b3cf7f the fight, but if 7ab20f59ee I’m not here, I 8693c8c0f4 feel that he’s going f186a49af9 to take the production faaca35989 staff who can’t say 86b4f9e41b anything and send them b804bb0db4 to some remote mountain. So I’m 174498e3d1 still here, 887dfd07fe fighting and 69655c5a41 holding on.”633ad50cd0fa1068

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I laughed awkwardly.4b13add8b7e8e51c

“Are you uncomfortable 8bfe98bc95 listening to this 5aeac4663f because you used 61ecd8b0ca to work under 69468817c2 Chief Cho?”521e19cc0a57c68a

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Although she was 080b402037 clearly reading my 2cb3e1926f mind, she gave 2e9a6a22d7 me a lukewarm f55b1c64cf smile as if aefe432779 to soothe my a022097d89 disconcerted feelings.f84d8f7ce574853e

“Whether it’s 77ea2a459a Minerva or f8d43a2a8a not, wherever 48cf5201c4 you go, acad069591 keep pushing 53cd5facec forward just d678bdeaaf like that.”767ed2c44a52fc90

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She patted 659d8c859d my shoulder 4df3c0e253 with an fafe755546 elegant hand.5f16eaa583d7fe6f

“There are people c69a8e372f who think that 6fded6c93f if you stay c4e8efd61b still, you don’t c712d8dbca have any thoughts 5a94e41995 in your head. Especially people who have eb097bddcb been around for a 69dd547df9 long time. In my time, it add966e5ee was a world where 7e8191455f you did whatever you 46c674c2e6 were told. Women’s rights? There was no such 035cf8e95c thing back then. But I’m thankful debcbfedfb that someone like 6af6eff09b PD Oh said b5131ecd73 what we couldn’t c80ca6d098 say. You have to 5a83b1b924 speak up to 8c8018b4b2 be heard, and 090b93b028 you have to 88ddb983ea listen to be 2e568631d1 understood. That’s how 04961117f5 the world e201b74ef9 changes. I’m rooting 929bc5fea2 for you, aa7755c61a PD Oh.”5eed65fff4f8e877

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My heart was 8f10d94e8a filled with excitement c15198dcdc once again. This was why c8dc012bb4 I wanted to 16aacaaceb become a PD.fca44e338926fcc8

I wanted to 672be18a23 speak out and dc952e19fd hope that someone 57d791e499 would listen to e24c3678bc the program I 7850f1110f had in mind. I didn’t a6019e52c0 have any f8438b8c1c grand dreams 27d24665d1 of turning 110da03fe3 the world 3a1c525f4a upside-down, but 0911f02810 I hoped 19643e7c2a that a 30048c501f small but f64cd716b0 positive breeze 8d2a39c251 would blow.9fd74aaf7aa1b43a

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

“A world where those ba42e0ede8 who speak the truth 3fd36df967 are cursed and those 70ed866d87 who do bad things 73bd6479df continue to thrive and d5d60dee6e show off their skills ef77ab412a should not exist. Not anymore.”eb4f991c76bb8747

With a single word 3aefabb07b from someone who had 0a67808a35 no presence in my 61a17b9ab5 life until now, I 21923482ff was reminded of the a244c4187d original reason why I b2ee608390 wanted to become a 37f21d3df6 PD.4bcb0375df1b3eb7

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My footsteps down the db561b1b06 hallway were filled with de082b1701 strength. Minerva, the Greek 998e71f8ce goddess of war 3eae4a252e and wisdom. I silently 63192a5124 hoped that 3bebd5997c the goddess’ a957b0ff03 smile would 0437362bc2 accompany my 4d2d550f76 every step.09a8e3bdd4dd6fb6