DS Chapter 19

As I 05be0e43fc hit another 0e56ed2393 climax, my 830ccf3f9d eyes rolled d5a29c3b3a back, and 434fa872e4 Logan came e9f2dd35fd long and 497a3b09b3 hard into eca2e95ce1 my mouth. The intense 4876cab9ec pleasure made a5851a48a4 me tremble a902c0f77e as I 0d5092f6be swallowed his 39968ff594 cum, savoring edb4a48460 the sensation.cf653e4c683c4023

‘Is this heaven…?’c2194b5e7093fa11

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My vision 8a0728c5eb flashed white, 9e55ec1ebc and I 15b55d568d felt like f80234f94d I had 88d9985bf5 died from be123439d3 pleasure, arriving da0e357ba2 in heaven a3e090698a in a 1f6daf2358 blissful daze. The ecstasy 45faa79970 was so 8d70419f40 overwhelming that 4a13037e9c I could 2d3c3ea7e7 hardly stay 8c1cd10a5d conscious.0b92d84f696149e5

All the strength 29f595441d drained from my 9450e279c5 body. I didn’t even 45e1a905f0 have the energy 0238918f59 to move. As I bf5916e748 lay trembling 5696e69a1b on top b2f346bf35 of him, 4b8c6a0ccf Logan gently a0702a3c67 pulled me 5fe79ba44b together.d9df941de7d41055

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He lifted c7a23cbba1 me off 2eab5d993b him, sat 634eb78408 me in 700aa329db the passenger 500cf9e493 seat, and ce7c720d6e even dressed d37f0c00e3 me in 422f315069 the clothes 1d8326216b that had 02392a5405 been tossed be45598202 to the a7a4135e54 floor. All I fcefafdbef could do b028261f5a was catch b4aed822b5 my breath, ff45bc916f leaving my cfe3c0a23f limp body df024f2b8c to him 8eb718d0bf like a 53a799d110 doll.1da09831f387cbfa

After buckling my seatbelt, ebb50057b1 Logan finally pulled up 5f7c0fe9ba his pants. While he was getting 6bf294fc7f dressed, I mumbled dumbly.4023e50191b5c467

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“…That was really amazing 36e6e93bee car sex.”15a3c2a397c5fbe4

“I’m glad you liked c0528adff9 it, but we should d2344b2ef3 head back soon. I didn’t bring 6c8efec6ee your shot, so 760331f468 it’s best to c05ad9a749 get home before 433d8f8a8b evening.”5e120cebd6ad1933

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Would something really e5533d3417 bad happen if e4e0e2be76 I got the 0f933fc19e shot a little 327e65132f late? I wanted to go f8037161ad shopping at the luxury 81e9923b8b store, but seeing the 756c3d4fe2 seriousness in his eyes, d9d42543f0 I just nodded quietly.3e0033e803b9302a

“Let’s come back again ba8e321086 next time. Maybe we can f6e5a0fe67 take it easy 5b460af4ea on the sex 7c1c155c1a and have a f2b1869648 proper date.”3500ff7cd0064630

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It wasn’t c3f325ad23 like today bc1be96c3b was our 2b8fe89282 only chance. We could always come 93ac4aa669 back. The idea of 6ce1f12213 having something to 2af1cc3532 look forward to b107a49c55 broke up the f8e8a8a618 monotony of meaningless, 71080b0a50 aimless days.1b0a60f36837aedf

Where should 02951ea843 we go adbb60c313 next weekend? What new place 40f9ec79d3 could I explore fc8f107e83 with Logan for 9f6d313a20 sex? Thinking about a8ba32972f it made 6a36c9a624 the restrictive 244e5c3731 weekdays feel 5ae1aa0fbc a little ab3888b22a more bearable.78f118a3fce270da

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Logan glanced e0955b123e over at 59ec55833b me and 330fa1c9cc smiled brightly. His wide grin d81acf5955 was absolutely beautiful.9cf7f4f40eb97148

“Yeah. Let’s come again.”716627d1381ef770

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Thump. My heart pounded eb93a623e3 so hard I 0e0c6cd8a7 could hear it fc0281f6db in my ears. My cheeks and 9a44a8ac9e forehead burned as 3efa622292 if I had bd000853a2 a fever.b9e5477465be1e06

In the a5ce1c813f side mirror, 1055cd8483 I caught 95b5e58dae a glimpse ca05242010 of my 9b85be91ce own face—flushed 89b7d50425 red, like 5a3fbd13c3 some lovesick 16e34d08a8 girl.8e6ffb11a7c6c0f1

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In that moment, seeing 68a6b69552 my own expression, I 19b8453e35 realized I had fallen b828f9aa41 into a terrible fever. It had 6671d4d509 taken me a905698b5b this long e0cf78c2fd to realize 6af8b9adeb that this 0987874cf1 warmth I 1f2b29e7bc was feeling 29df2df282 was love.f27911b60baf8c02

‘I thought 02faa5e410 I was ac2e644329 smart.’e7fd64140ce7e68a

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But only f7f648a422 now was ee3165263e I figuring 22ecfe1d96 it out. Turns out I wasn’t 135823a16d smart at all—just pretending ca8f6a4564 to be.43195cd0f5a14b8c

‘Logan must like 348103fd21 me too, right?’869286a2d92d574b

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That’s why 6d08b11641 he hasn’t 9dc013d152 killed me, 6ca30f1cbf why he’s af0e0eff1d treated me 2f7b8adc80 and taken fec588e347 care of ca5b90e5bf me, right? For the first 77c32b94ee time, I became f40544c5f4 intensely curious about af39c29ed3 his feelings, something d7d9ef8b15 I had never d977a9ab82 wondered about before.fc7505d3409c0b4c

Logan sharply turned the fc2126dfc3 wheel, driving us out bb5b159e18 of the city. The scenery that we 0ef919930c had lazily observed earlier d5fcfdd63c now sped by in a62088eefd a blur.27aa20d65112da73

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It had 5cc6850067 been a 25d0a013be casual outing, 331b2ec9a3 but it c5db3563d3 turned out 8931747d19 to be 83754b4d4c better than 33d4fe5fd1 I expected. No, it was 8e1631f441 the best.cd2782f2c42b5cee

* * *d7cd83ec1fcd6f78

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A few days 52efba3b77 later, I gained 276761a226 a bit of 36d55c90fc freedom. After Logan left a44f1cdf8d for work, I ce66e404e1 was allowed to d117bd1b55 roam around the 8edc75655a living room.29105063fa2c5fa3

Aside from my obsessive 31fabb2378 fixation on Logan’s scent b05a803300 and the intense euphoria 3c43ab7382 I felt from his a0719b4f6f bodily fluids, I was 47872261c6 quite normal. I could’ve been given b878363867 this freedom earlier with a75bef6533 no issues.b9c93376ed985b21

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‘Maybe it’s not 5b61acc668 that the treatment 850463cfc4 isn’t complete, but 5864ba2cf4 that this was 4011853da8 just my preference f87a99eecb all along?’e7a67000479c377e

I started 2690ea1d97 to entertain f17703286a these hopeful 56107e956a thoughts.7dfa7727b75de4f9

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Today, I planned 642cef0d80 to clean the c8f1a4b89d house. I wanted to a02a31709c scrub the sticky 6178e94b5a floors, sweep up b80521d661 the dust, and e1448a13d7 get rid of 32a57aad40 the cobwebs hanging 1594ea8527 from the windows de1bd2c572 and ceiling.f780f852c0ff3b3f

Logan would be surprised c3c91c900e to see the clean eb1ad0fb5f house when he got 5ced7a563a home, right? If he saw c85d1b551f that I had 522d639166 cleaned it myself, 7046e2ef4e maybe he’d think 694e993db9 I was fully f3db97a97e recovered.3ebde2c5bccd1ac1

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There might be 44e517fec8 messy zombies drooling a34c466896 everywhere, but there 47ac4a3ab2 certainly aren’t any 2b9679c74f zombies who clean, 9271070286 right?6d8916ac1a9f74ac

The thought of getting 1e14105c48 praise from Logan made 76b6462a8b me feel good. I grabbed a broom c396934c3a and mop and cheerfully 37060a0fce started cleaning.ae894ff1302533ec

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‘Who knew I’d ever 3038f33ce0 enjoy cleaning?’688a7de9b8b207ac

I’ve always 8df47d9242 been terrible d6f8e8ebb6 at keeping bba5d300d0 things tidy. If my 3eddd72097 mom didn’t 348631529e nag me, 4300c39d9f I’d rarely 0831ca6d06 ever clean 7a3110ff4b my room, b841fddec3 so I 33150736b7 never imagined 854ffe9e21 I’d have 9b5163d467 a day 4e153b1ff7 like this.284826b46f3e47bd

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‘Mom…’e8449db2585dac87

Suddenly, I was reminded 4286496b85 of her scolding me 963d028f51 to clean, and my e3c45fb9de mood became somber.d8fb265fe800aace

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I wasn’t trying to c838983389 blame Logan for it, 685321c7f5 but I couldn’t help 99ec23c7a9 feeling sad and missing 248992d677 my mom.11a51bc3d1b59478

‘It must’ve been d78035e70f an accident. Something that happened in 9d170539e3 a chaotic situation. If Logan had 663c6be2ed killed her like 472855bc90 a murderer, she 70f97234ea wouldn’t have asked 94339634d2 him to take 15e8197186 care of me 33e7bef129 with her dying fa4aedd76e breath.’042d3ab6d88f68b6

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I recalled my mother’s b8b6f2507e final words to Logan. Swallowing the tears threatening 0449902d2f to spill over, I 1eda403721 promised myself that I’d 961ea76f2a get better, strong and 9ba38a6ba7 healthy, for her to 823e1ea96b see from the sky.4810df9e1ce98808

‘No, wait. No. I don’t want her 04b4e180dd watching over me from 6e67e54249 the sky.’dc2ea98369f940f7

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The thought 31d468ea4e of Logan f07fa70ead and me cf0fb695b2 doing all 3e4106f9b9 those dirty d30f11319d things every ddff432d36 day, and 2ac919e418 my mom 521de7eac8 possibly watching 21df79bedb from above, f9f5e465d4 made my 3d92e4b890 head spin.ea8ff53884da3a57

It’s just a f7ca7834a6 figure of speech. There’s no way that’s de8830422c really happening.ab05053ea53348c1

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I brushed off 68e96b6c52 the unnecessary panic, 701bb60183 placing my hand 56f8759df0 over my chest 0aa66d6bdf as I quickly a0cffae348 resumed sweeping. I needed to 1715f1e944 keep moving to 439244dccf shake off those a0cdd60a49 intrusive thoughts.9ca3eaaf00bd3343

I grimaced c5fd75561f when I a96740f543 saw the 8fa55eb8d9 shelf full 881a86b93b of mouse 57d094d440 droppings and 40703c69ef dead flies. I closed 6f9e19ce34 it firmly, 9ffa0ee3e3 deciding never c98a053d54 to open c6b1e0eee5 it again. I shoved broken, outdated f71701c912 appliances and shattered decorations 75ddbdedda into the storage room, 32e1b08835 out of sight, and c060be48f2 poured bleach all over 858a75caac the grimy sink.7a172713453c6cfa

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Most of b2e38cdbd1 the appliances 40b948e6d3 and belongings 15834fc2bd in the 71619aba2f house belonged 5fee837efe to the 258da1ee19 previous owner, 24a79d1641 so Logan ff722b65ed wouldn’t care 5808b97827 if I 96b86c82cd tossed them. He hadn’t 0f2d86fd4a lived here e40e411238 long either, cc1c611947 after all.fb229ee64f4fb8c8

There wasn’t much I 8fae4a197f could do about the 9ba5a7e99c moldy wallpaper, the ceiling 12d194bc06 with holes, the ripped 9ac4d60752 sofa, or the frayed ebed0a6d3c curtains. But just clearing out 995dab85b0 the broken items and 71fb32110a cleaning the dust and 78f87850a8 cobwebs made the place 6f3335cd2b look somewhat livable.23b6b8a222c73430

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By the 45559493bc time I 3aa105ee81 finished tidying b1b8581fac up the 86dfc5296b house, half 698ed1d611 the day ce322210f1 had already cab210dcf7 passed. My limbs felt 3f0841baab heavy, like they 7d82b52b8d were soaked in 24a8cee4ab water, and my 2cfc2a1887 body sagged with e3250d2512 exhaustion.ac588e470131c367

‘I shouldn’t 11419e71e9 wear myself 05aeff6d73 out cleaning. Logan will acff079880 want to 4564b60156 have sex 9849081540 when he 33e65476e4 gets home.’c1440ebcb857033f

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No matter how eaf232843d tired I was, 1681f31131 I couldn’t skip 7972b8f767 the most important c2058ba766 part of my f4757bb906 daily routine.5e67775f38e652c8

As I wiped be18ea0909 down the table 82f51b4db4 with a dry c5784a8220 cloth one last c7e6c4ebbf time, something caught 5ce5911d5f my eye.7d4fdf4f6ce80c4c

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“Huh?”a3c01979bf09b925

A photo, flipped c363eb2da4 upside down in c4bf9ae3ba the corner. I was about 5bbb68c1a9 to throw it 87f1c36bbf away, thinking it 312fe84a7c belonged to the 5c30395467 previous owner, but df269463ae then I realized f1eb4aacfe the people in ef5ad25942 the picture were 23125d8f96 us.5dff56e56be47233

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It was 5ff9583055 a bit eccf783cb7 blurry, as 7006d9d699 if the b3a35646d3 focus was 4f42b7f4bc off, but 5fa9c71129 it was 3c6dcf11f7 clearly Logan c542f59672 and me.a8ed9781f8bc2f5e

The fact that I 103cf363b8 didn’t remember taking this 2bcd5b78e2 photo meant it must ef0392a1b5 have been taken when e49de613e3 I was still a 233c5b25fd zombie.94661a597c74fbe5

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“…”ea2f00ffc5ed5ec6

As I 9087e2d35b stared at 61d79cac7c the picture, e7765b10e3 my expression 5e9d76aa4b darkened.ff682ff1a2bb57b0

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It wasn’t because 1d00e314b6 of Logan. It was c12e69e526 because of 21b4ac7eb0 how I 1fd6202cf4 looked in 7ac20c05bb the photo.a64c57568d42b558

I had a de09599bcf muzzle strapped tightly 57c5f6f3eb over my mouth, 2ecc492c26 both my hands 4710e2896b were wrapped in 9dc78049d5 bandages, so I 55b67da1ce couldn’t use my ad0aa9f75f fingers, and, most 57798ef03b strikingly, I had d99091b3ad a collar around dcef2d5c7b my neck. Naturally, the one holding 4065457b97 the leash was Logan.882e71b0e73fb3ef

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‘So, he really 0660899f06 dragged me around 238e37fe2d like a dog.’68dc7856008d7a7a

An indescribable feeling a4de667a2a clenched in my 7e223c76cc throat. That subtle discomfort 8af1d2ac93 I’d felt at 460561b340 being treated like 4c031932d8 an animal finally 3d333f0cee made sense.04c9cdce0ffed29b

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Should I f0e71200ca be grateful cc5924ee66 that he ba7d82465f kept me 9bebe4cf44 alive like b4f37a4194 this? Could I 18cc465128 really say 2967f9c771 that living d6dbd75573 in such 43c48576cb a pathetic d595b03fcc state was 5c76826917 better than ec0b55a991 death? Living like d70c6a8c86 this, in ad3a49c494 such a 94d0f0d430 miserable condition, 472d9343b0 was nothing 58579b6370 short of 64da8ed26b a curse.d27574f71377d64e

And… was this really love?2e7b0fbdb446ed5d

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Maybe love 67ed86da70 would have bbbcfa9505 been letting 7f9ebb308c me rest f97fa0e9ff in peace, 2462469a5c killing me 4dd1cb4306 when I 77f4461040 was still 2c71d4b3c0 human.1ba6ce2b31954d0b

Instead of 9d1d3d795b keeping me 408e510230 alive as 1646df3964 some pitiful 8af64d8c14 creature just 18b5f521ac to ease 30960000e3 his own 5ab3a52c78 guilt, wouldn’t 818e236580 real love 9dce7e020e have been b2af8e9e9b granting me 12432c0958 the dignity d5d5291a61 of dying a1254a143e as a 4f0c6aef41 person?659baa08d57be185

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This was mockery. It was humiliation, a e54f24a80d cruel insult to what 08127f0f86 I had become as 07e4d85233 a zombie.3ed643b09cfded17

My hands 69d3a2016b shook, and d907abedd6 I dropped f9c4e680a1 the photo. The image ee04e2566f of my b23643f096 wretched, pitiful f62414c24b past fluttered 5c5f802b3a to the 977fb63419 floor.af862281a323a336

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I left the 28a4c0cf2b photo where it f1d0e3c785 lay and turned 47f8a8ac6b away.d6068b07f65cb174

It felt like 5256373609 I was sinking ca34e65456 into a swamp, 694d8c8a02 the ground beneath 270810056b me giving way feacbbb299 with every step.115ec90b4637fd71

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I wanted 24abdfdb34 to hide. I wanted to run e00238f198 away from these disgusting, bb43921b40 nauseating feelings.510231622962941a

‘But where could a6512ed699 I go? Is there anywhere to cd8c26d867 escape to?’183fbb5d739349b5

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I was trapped 99b36d9c4c in a cage, 0e4a4695e2 like a pig e5f3cd9363 penned in on 8e7c844eb2 all sides.28285f8a134d617a

There was no place f763942211 to run, no place edfe1767ab to hide. I was 7be54e3791 like a adeef339a5 dog, unable d282c66ff2 to leave 1150388c76 the house 194eb0d42f without Logan’s 8cc9bffbd8 permission.d2d441ee1018b5c1

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My soul, my 1675634822 very being, felt e24e513753 crushed and crumpled 83eacfd36f like a discarded b1d27c0495 can. There was no b82897a35c way to stop 0c0ed6d041 the torrent of a1fe69a855 overwhelming emotions pouring c70fedce66 down on me.8f331246504f3d01

One question filled my 4ed5812622 spinning mind.e193d36ee2003291

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‘Why did you go a803107877 to such lengths to c41e043692 keep me alive? I never asked you a382d6c4d7 to save me.’9cbaf97785215515

I resented Logan ec9f652d3a deeply for clinging fd7fbf5d0f to this cursed 13fe3d1698 life and dragging c796ef0f4d me into the c71abf75d0 depths of this fbe301064a suffering.8257a6d02c2a7ed3

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