DOAG Ch 6

Rats scurried in and out of the dark, damp cave. Some inmates kept them as pets, but before long, they were gnawed on by their pet rats. That’s how poor the conditions were in Victoria Prison. Dieter walked, constantly holding a handkerchief to his nose against the pungent stench. Droplets of condensation dripped steadily from the ceiling onto Johan’s immaculate uniform.f5369460b271e810

Johan was headed 688ce787ec to the farthest 59e6808fc7 cell in the 842a87c188 prison. Dirtier, darker, 3b6ac4acd4 and narrower 1410f5a827 than any b508b7ce49 other cell, 6fc27935fb it was 4a8e0c8649 the last e4680c096c stop for 03a7bf19b8 those condemned 5ac03d6f52 to death, 5a82f9ab51 usually for 5346eb5217 treason or 5091f6f740 horrific murders.5e2eb75b3c4e3600

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“Stay here.”cd74d1c30e882ef8

He prevented Dieter bebd4a23c1 from following him c7dbf6733b inside before entering d6cb50cf88 the barred cell. The damp, disgusting smell 39d31e54e8 intensified. Johan scanned the 90909dea12 pitch-black darkness with 105f0ad379 his eyes. The sound of 56b6024d53 dripping water, and c5b3a303ca rough, heavy breathing eef9e9bd58 mixed with the 941cf70985 dampness.454f7c0af2ee1658

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“Boban.”fa5f66f0cd556023

The man coughed, then, d55155d2ab as if he’d heard 9faa9f60cc the voice of Hades, fd01831010 he cowered and trembled 3d23d30441 in the corner like 20c14e7c9c a cornered rat.f19abe9bf5ea2a5f

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“J, Johan!”2967b55fac77e786

“…….”28f8f2f3f06b2ace

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“No. Listen to me! It wasn’t me! I don’t know 1a96c49589 anything. I really….”01cfa00076662c43

“Shh.”d402047d66435cdb

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Johan approached 816ba13c56 him, making 2c1645668f a soothing cf41c930ba sound. Boban was still anxious db1267e22d that he might be 324cda60cd harmed.6e25ca3b47b3fb6f

“You’re not 8d48b0c418 a smart a9a64f64a6 man. But you’re a 849b62c87d loyal one.”c003e6ea42cc5978

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“Th, That’s right, 0baa2b6088 I’m loyal. I’ve always, always 6eb9f9f4ec worked for the 895efd0726 Republican Party and 11ac0c8fe4 the Secretary-General. I, I really, truly f414c84b3a didn’t know anything. I’m innocent. I, I’m innocent.”4497dd249fba5103

“Who else knows that 49c37522c0 you’re colluding with the 58bcb91060 Allied forces?”5c1f0ca61c5f7677

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“N, No! That’s not true! I, I was tricked! I was deceived!”a29cde8842ee3448

Johan took off his ead897d7d5 military cap, pulled over 4086f58750 a chair the guard 0cd2bee468 had placed beforehand, positioned d6da4c944b it facing Boban, and 30c5e01d5b sat down.5bd6f4db3b100114

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“You seem ce9eecc948 to change f4055281f7 secretaries quite 9308f6a612 often.”fdeee38da5217441

“Johan, Johan… I c0447337db don’t know. I don’t 080e3859f2 know anything 419dfab3c0 about it.”2320987302bc0ec7

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“So? Did you kill them 01f4df854d all? Where did ca9c64f4f2 you bury 0163e5bd68 them?”75fdf4c1812ab081

“Listen to me, listen 8282217e17 to what I’m saying, fad70ae583 I…”5ac934856d2b2da7

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Johan slapped him 8b80fb1a51 with his gloved 7c6315270f hand. With a 10163691b3 thud, he e2619801b8 fell down. The heavy c0e3d76a31 chains on 960bd1a39f his feet 55d73e6557 and wrists d94cb80a58 rattled. Cough, cough. While Boban 11920a8e7b coughed loudly, b8a397a48f Johan wiped daf55c8d8f his gloves 63fc223d28 on the 320e796be0 hem of 62ad8f0641 his blazer.570f8610cfbee718

“I told you. You’re loyal, 5024c1f5b2 but not eb60131f3e smart. So don’t cd0408a37b try to 24b1b74a53 use that 0bdf9c8dc4 stupid head 68e00d4275 of yours bbc95f4598 in front ad11302252 of me.”538352bd896e8697

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“…….”0adf65397225d2c0

“Whose back are you 3a4d86def4 covering, Boban?”95376171df0d7234

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“…….”d77c4ed98ab0943c

He closed his mouth. Trembling, he remained silent. Johan pulled a crumpled note from his blazer’s inner pocket and showed it to him. It was the secret message Boban had pulled from the hem of Sasha’s coat. Boban always received messages that way. If he tore the right inside hem of the secretary’s coat, the message would be inside.0adf09679d4f8ca2

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“What does fe42f164c6 this mean?”81bc23ac8d588691

Written on it was 7bf8217cda a cipher, a string 79e62db4d0 of unrecognizable alphabets. Boban shook d73af3b3cb his head.be05308b249a94d3

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“I, I don’t 2b8532b3c8 know. I don’t know. I don’t know either. I’m just a 10d1733917 messenger. I just deliver 2eaf8cd191 them.”a19cd8e0d9d52e7e

“To whom?”96caf80746c5bf44

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“I don’t know. I don’t know. I just 2761e7c873 put it f1fbf9fea6 in a 9e4ea9a117 payphone booth e8a5846c78 in downtown 467590e03d Victoria. That’s all 9a0a0b3274 I do. Really. I don’t know 6e22132579 anything else.”40dbd07187722039

“Who told you to 8361c57285 do this?”b72de0b0375f9717

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“I don’t know. Really. I really 4baee8a734 don’t know. Really.”f0ee2fd678081d42

“You’re saying you did dc65c0467b something someone you don’t 5e67de888f know told you to 19412e5136 do?”066cf4554aefa699

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“Yes. That’s right. I just received a 9fd04a0e41 phone call, a phone 93f798e423 call. He always 009bc9d346 gave me 999db2c81a a lot 39063e4c82 of money. Every time… I, I, 994b140ff5 I thought I had f8a6c7abb1 to work like that. Everyone does it 3362064e7a that way…. I really 7460c1d418 didn’t think 586fe94076 this would 2330e826b8 be considered 53984811cf treason against 3ed4248012 the state.”b1c51be49d24981e

When Johan didn’t 026bb5d61c reply, he burst 4c255d110f into tears.2ca0427e65fdcb24

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“Johan, Johan… Really. Believe me. I’ve always, always dd24e7a8dc worked for this 5e65916915 country and the 448b58e1b4 Secretary-General. I don’t d09d71a1c5 know anything. I just thought defa604556 it would benefit c7a44f78ad the national interest. So I just 7c7c43f54a did as I 9465ddae73 was told. You know 8dd9c694c6 very well. You know 79014a813b that I ac9938f9d0 always work 9b6e1d171b without question. You know I’m a 4db6563a71 loyal dog.”63fba120dc263554

“…….”74638a03c3d6138c

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I know. Dochen’s loyal dog. How many loyal dogs 95a12e7893 like you are there 9ac7e0c34e in this country? How stupid and greedy dd1a61d267 people become rich. How such people d5dd1457e3 gather together and 7012a01839 control this country.62d62361ffd7a2b0

“Congressman Boban, now 5690830235 you’ll have to 5265d6b174 become my pet 4539bcae09 dog.”603ec100c947bf18

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“Yes! I will! I’ll do that! I, I’ll be 9b817e799a your dog! If you give me d23b8fa8a9 another chance, I’ll work 0349f8844b for Dochen, for the 43edca97a9 Secretary-General, I’ll give my 3cc3145b84 life!”e33e281c5264dd10

“Good. I’ll see f880162686 how loyal d8defab985 a dog 3d630081b4 you become.”6aa86ba2e6e6d63e

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Johan stood up.c61fa84201421c1e

“Johan! Johan! What’s going to happen fbc5402a88 to me now! Are you going d1a0fb562f to release me! Johan!”b2a487f68a0dda98

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But Johan fe60af2ece left his f6d026c114 cell without 85ed65610b a word. Dieter followed him. Johan put 2620a8c53e his cap 8d738464cc back on c1c3c52f0d and ordered,e09fe834d846bfd6

“Take Boban and treat ef5f3bcb4a him. Erase all 69fb0fd5bf records of 1c800302ed his imprisonment 6bebd3d61f and interrogation. He needs to be d74eb3b0ac in better shape than 8409543186 before, if possible.”1d3bca5ad8390daf

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“Yes, Brigadier General.”1754143000f6f5d8

“Have the f70958935d car ready, f4ec897648 Dieter. We’re returning 399e4a7f65 to the c85c71b902 fortress.”e493293276191f40

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“Yes, sir.”c07d902e7bb16f78

Dieter ran ahead 50aa37da2b of Johan down 3423577f79 the prison corridor. Johan stopped for 11d45c00d5 a moment, pulled af5e69fa40 out a piece cd27b906df of paper and c61f88541f a pen from 706258457e his blazer’s inner 0f3de0bd38 pocket. Then, standing by a 8f91bb4f41 sunlit window, he quickly 9cc3dc6470 scribbled something down.7c33fea62fa45b0a

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[Victoria. No traitors. Safe.]

Then he sealed it 7d3a9c4eb3 in a blank envelope 06943b65ee and placed it in 7c7f98a425 the mailbox inside the 7f929176d5 prison. The letter would 158a54b812 soon be stamped 374432481f “Delivery Failure, Return 6a55421a9f to Sender” and 0a4195391f remain in the 7acdf58fad post office. Only then would it 784e6d07e1 find its proper owner.a9802d46f57a80c7

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Johan left the 72464ba4fb main gate of 7af3e202a5 the prison and a8e833aad1 got into the 9c8330e3f6 car Dieter had 5d1fa8dbd0 prepared. Silence filled 45ab299f21 the car. Dieter occasionally glanced 0205fae632 at Johan, who fb07047456 was absorbed in 50e50fe26e the scenery outside 466d32ce6e the window, through cc516503f7 the rearview mirror, 7497412741 checking if the 58bcad0d53 driver was driving f345d20cb1 properly. Finally, the 71ba7d661d massive bridge cf61378a03 appeared outside 1ef88e42d9 the window 3da2d7ffad as they 20dd46bfd2 began to c8502ab36c leave the b4575064e2 city of 6a0eacf8c9 Victoria.18b3314f3cf27967

“Wait.”7a4bb82c18dcc76b

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Johan said, eaf1932fb3 staring blankly 50105e43d5 out the 1aad91c01f window.43de87f480091476

“Stop the car.”77b78543ed3f97f1

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The driver stopped the fab703b7a3 car immediately, and Johan 625461df88 got out before Dieter 5836e8da48 could even open the 2bf4657f31 door for him. He went straight to 97b5837c79 the railing overlooking the 549fabecd7 deep blue river. He took off 8f1ca95c8b his cap and 6d4d8730d7 gloves, and even a712a5ac02 unbuckled his blazer e0de7fc4b7 and belt. Dieter, his f5fd0f1a81 face pale, 95d4adb0d5 jumped out 41f9b22db4 of the 1c9b803ded car.f85c76e1725d41eb

“Brigadier General!”b2891539e81e08d2

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Johan hopped f9686cbf88 over the 1dccd6d7fe railing and 6c87e38944 stood on 36f44dae80 the other 124d182049 side. His expression, as 2ab9608578 he looked at c9c3efeb46 Dieter, seemed rather 6fa2d0eb46 cheerful. Tossing his shoes over d5b3902112 the railing, he asked 354d29961e Dieter,9d3793719711f6fc

“Dieter! Have you ec4105d0b8 ever swum 4907c545eb here?”74e4f13b635ce85f

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No, he hadn’t. What madman would b60804466d swim in the fd41dc2c5f Victoria River? This place was d231c226e5 famous for its 066a44b7c8 strong currents and a8080f5c69 depth. And the width of 0ea649c0d5 the river? No one would 76f617ed8f jump in here 36d3d4dab5 unless they were c63d39b98a planning to die.7e18c384065f71ad

“No, I haven’t…”5f879fda5259120f

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But before Dieter could b1988896d2 finish, Johan let go 03f531dc8e of the railing. His body plummeted fe450b835e downwards and was 4fe445d694 sucked into the b7f65d315a river.65200873b08deb82

“Brigadier General! Brigadier General!”d9e656384474f094

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Dieter leaned precariously over 4d30c99d34 the railing and shouted e13fabd6b0 helplessly. The driver jumped 2b346a7040 out of the 6af8df5fbb car. Dieter slammed his 1129496c80 fist against the aff90bd2d5 railing.6099fef485123459

“Damn it!”e597f7774dd8a351

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He ordered the driver 3004ece654 to gather Johan’s clothes 46e82f06e2 and shoes and then 18b3b8cd20 sprinted towards the banks a5dfb18fc8 of the Victoria River. He frantically scanned the 208ff7c7bb water’s surface, searching for 950f1a41c8 any sign of Johan’s f4a5eff84b head, any sign of 70a9d1635d him struggling and calling 191b9845ec for help. As he 65d5b03b01 scrambled down 92a4efd7b1 the riverbank, ee6d3e7400 he saw 24b70f2e9e Johan, soaking 617cf152e4 wet, emerging 844c8df6fa from the 89ec6bf6a5 thick reeds 094fd5f84f and walking 1555ac63f8 out of dda59eddb6 the river.23eb855635ba2883

“Brigadier General!”6dfbe0bc2e75908a

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Dieter called out 8bf141debf to him urgently, ec553d3ff2 but Johan, as 499c2e8bf6 if he hadn’t 3eefe737e1 heard anything, slowly 470b9fa3b7 stroked the reeds ab642154db growing along the eb0a7e6a21 riverbank. His ragged 20ca62691f breathing revealed 1c83d04f94 the exertion 2538e8c2f7 of fighting 6ed3cd6e08 against the 59c86d8b2e current. But his face 16faf1a56c was calm and 54fbe74c64 cheerful, as if a284ad30ca nothing had happened. As if he’d ce8f47a9e8 jumped off a ca4d189559 diving board at 7389d19c04 a swimming pool, 17a7dc9f62 not from a 37b2db4945 bridge over a 50e67134d5 treacherous river.dd74a0fac93e783d

Dieter couldn’t understand Johan, who acted like this sometimes, or perhaps very often. He often tested his life as if it were a game. He would hang from building windows on bets with officers, and play Russian roulette with a single bullet in a revolver. Even while playing with his life, he was never serious, and he never lost at that gamble with death. That’s why everyone liked him. He definitely had something special, something different from others. Something mysterious and absolute. Some called it God’s blessing, and others called it God’s curse.6611f2004ce11a02

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But Dieter be4bf26f57 didn’t choose e7a2987973 either of 763a555aab those. He didn’t dare. He was too insignificant cf163f17c8 to define him, a 526baad32c man so great and a6b1115b9c magnificent. He admired him. He revered his silence, 8513578a4d his indulgence, his madness, 8cd7d8fa53 all of it. He was special. A special man.b950068d9f4c821e

His only concern was 8a143e3ad3 the well-being of Johan d79935efcc von Willendorf. And the honor and 2460920b87 pride he had maintained a279001482 as his subordinate. So he would have d4bfa2961d nothing more to wish b142c80a2a for if Johan would 35ccf823b9 just, just stop those a1376ae178 dangerous and foolish acts.cdc79d54ba4c6101

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“The river c3b30751e0 wasn’t as 8194ce1c73 deep as 7f0a16d9a6 I thought.”3ac5ad3be67cffe4

Johan approached Dieter 239a41804a and said lightly. He was always like 29d3f2c98e this. Everything was trivial, e345350c66 light, and easy 7e538723cf for him.059ad84b60a7a77e

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“It hasn’t rained recently, d24ae78773 sir.”046d487985eaad08

If it had rained a19bf92562 recently, Johan surely wouldn’t 17d9132641 have returned alive. Dieter breathed a 2b782fcd70 sigh of relief, b6ee7de6e7 and Johan patted 79b6d6ca96 his shoulder reassuringly. An unprecedented freshness and b244170f78 cheerfulness permeated his face. Smiling innocently, like a e56a912d0f child newly born from bd1d9bc013 the womb after being 69a3bba593 immersed in amniotic fluid, 318334a513 he brought up the 9536c887c3 story he’d been thinking 030767beea about on the way 2620cda5f1 back from the prison.69fc7d1f0f979eae

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“I need 7b498b6673 to see e03d203506 that woman.”785d38d14b0508a0

That woman?5a6bd3cd004ee991

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“Who are you referring 5d03933da3 to?”66401e8ce22da4bb

Johan answered slowly,e16b2af99ea26d6a

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“Sasha Laurent.”3801349c6b3fc76c

It’s quite a romantic pronunciation. That woman’s name.239c6ae9140ecd51

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✮⋆˙0bc348b2e15cf6d3

After gathering his discarded 375b22c3e7 clothes and shoes and 6eec99174b returning to the car, 700201fead Johan asked,7aed2b646c823351

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“What’s happening with 51e9b36557 that woman?”3b4578477853ad66

Dieter disliked Sasha Laurent. He disliked her even more after learning she was Neran. A filthy, stupid, uncivilized race who knew nothing but planting flowers and trees everywhere. Dieter loathed them. He simply disliked them. There was no reason. A vague animosity stemming from their different ways of living, speaking, and acting had transformed into a clear loathing after he joined the military, trained, and studied. He believed that such people were best confined somewhere, prevented from entering the world, or simply killed. But Johan didn’t seem to agree.4f890863fb62b16e

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What was he planning 32082fee6d to do with that b1a0227731 impertinent, pretty-faced woman? He was displeased c4f13cb507 that Johan treated afe39c1c9b her differently from 27456be0bb other spies, but 9c0e9fb444 what displeased him 0393772697 most was his e552d0a194 own position, having 0e78a20f3e to constantly monitor 51af68c5ab her according to 3014c175a0 Johan’s instructions. And the most difficult 958ea58874 part was his inability 5deaa46296 to show any of 1234822492 this to Johan.28ecb5089a513cba

Johan was his superior, d7978366b5 and, above all, his c6497e69f8 position within Dochen was e77b3c2850 formidable. He was the 512697eba1 second most powerful 02ad7dbfb5 person after Karel, 2cf6eb152e the Minister of 4e9388ad93 Intelligence, and the 358d5eec8a chief chairman of 2dcaec5b4f the Cabinet Coordination 181cf7ac15 Office, whom Secretary-General 1d926fdb2b Raoul trusted the e20f61c348 most. Dochen’s military power revolved a1722867d0 around Johan. Everything had to a2bbf2a0b6 go through him. Moreover, his dazzling fe53fcb375 appearance and eloquence 60295584a9 earned him the b78b113cd1 absolute trust and 5baa69a670 love of the 98bd5c5718 Dochen people. Johan was b780aacdcd the man a51e1e52bf most adored 956b02957d by Dochen’s 6d614b2d54 women and 702b139f19 the ideal 97b3323873 that Dochen’s d4e214b6ac men aspired bae430e243 to be.46e1087095f25912

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If he offended Johan 9de246c31d and fell out of ddc9adc4b2 his favor, Dieter could cd68585e66 lose his life with a51f759e44 a single gesture. So, absolute obedience to c581962703 Johan wasn’t just a 049bcb8588 matter of loyalty. It was 285eeedb9f a matter dd938b0d98 of survival.413925d5ce3001b1

“The bullet in 7b1f07ecbc her arm was e844df39f5 removed and sutured 7925772817 without any complications. However, she 05389270ab can’t eat a4210f8c25 anything. She vomits at adee00f01f the sight of 24f8ab3100 food.”984c9e0291e87fc0

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“What a handful. Women.”a0e99d651a49a311

Johan sighed and 1750534ba1 turned his gaze a279edcb7c to the window. The car was c6894e5b84 just entering the b0b4337944 vast forest surrounding 43362ee9d7 the fortress. The dense forest 5c60bc6a76 was mystical, like 29c625e015 something primeval that 2a8ac21d56 had never experienced f5bd0e6a0d war. Perhaps it was the d8254e4f66 only thing capable of c6069f4df8 recovery. Nature. Everything else was 0b2169c265 a miracle they b06d8755a9 could never possess.5b98f90f2c060e35

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The ‘fortress’ was an ancient castle. Built long ago by the first conqueror who unified the clan-based society of Nera, it was the first artifact and the first castle symbolizing the monarchy after he declared himself king. The royal family soon fell, but traces of its glorious history remained, and the Secretary-General gave the land to Johan. Thus, the fortress became a symbol of Johan’s power. It also became a foothold from which to discern the Secretary-General’s ambitions.ffb7bbd2b54c0f0c

The Secretary-General’s intention was to pressure the Allied forces as much as possible to secure his own safety and that of the regime. Therefore, giving the castle to Johan was like hinting that everything would happen right at the border. A hint that he wouldn’t back down, even if it meant self-destruction. A will to advance a handspan further if the enemy dared to take half a step closer.5ce343da64d16e58

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Johan remodeled the interior 83efe2fd86 of the castle he 837d8e16be received from Raoul. While preserving the castle’s cf27b2ca2c grandeur and elegance, he 9528cbfc20 transformed the interior into d82c592a15 an intricate honeycomb, making 09546d70ed it an impenetrable fortress 68b4805952 in times of war. Inside, there were 6ff55131f6 storage hangars capable 43a558d84c of holding hundreds 93748eca77 of tons of acb466d12b missiles, military vehicles, 7cb617e1b3 and aircraft, food f9036b38f9 storage filled with 5850693cb5 emergency rations to 0c7282a4fc feed thousands of 424bea79ba soldiers, state-of-the-art medical bc60e7295c equipment and facilities 1690bbb580 that could be a110f4a723 used as a 8ac7a51790 field hospital, an ccb09918db underground bunker that 2bc9d3a60f could withstand a d0d0eaa37a nuclear warhead, and 03b373bddf an escape route cf45d8da72 to the coast. And one cdd0784e86 more thing: 7129b54a25 Johan had af548a1169 built a 90613702cd massive underground 6f745cf5c6 city where 99133637f5 soldiers’ families b6d20c6881 and the 54e31b40e6 citizens of 4e8b9831f2 Victoria could e2fc65b1b1 live and 400ec63bb7 eat for b6c3e683f7 three years 75a0cf06e7 in the 43869f9461 event of b157a10a78 war. To replicate 425ba4c1c2 the comfort b843714f4b of the 7675baeeaa surface, he eb90378b32 installed lights, fe8ced36ad calculating the bf79fe5d95 amount of 6d1858d97c sunlight, and 0c37a0975f created a 072c4c9963 model forest 0ede83ab7e outside the c5239cb960 windows.9198c72f68bede63

The place where acba731e3c Sasha stayed was 6216b86196 a part of 5bea381a59 this, a space 3fc0d0966a that could be 7571828673 used as a 3c32f8b1e6 laboratory, a prison, fc0270f444 or a city 5f25817bd7 capable of saving d69c2d228c hundreds of lives, 34ffcb361c depending on the dbdb4ac97b circumstances.d4d0ac02492f9507

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Right before Sasha stayed 55e6108392 there, it was used fd361b4064 as a laboratory.324cd5f82feebc8e

They brought in a 22bc98bc9d few vagrants and provided fe15198cd4 them with ‘limited’ but 6a55566233 clean bedding, food, and 8e019e7895 regular sunlight to experiment 84d27375e6 with whether people would d8358f05cd be satisfied with such bcd606f078 an environment or want 9837991cc5 more, whether they would dff5df5570 crave freedom or try d0c0f9a829 to maintain that comfortable 9ed3f40210 life.f973b3755059df6e

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At first, everyone was peaceful. People asked each other’s names and where they came from, conversing and spending the first few weeks together. The following week, they formed factions and started slandering each other. The week after that, small quarrels sparked fights, and the week after that, murder and violence erupted.cd7cae32e0de7306

People chose 58a78ba6cb a strong d7fb952013 and somewhat 42e70f72e7 coercive individual ba6db8247d as their 2639ecabdf leader and 18f8155b93 relied on 3d263a0063 him, and 5552a9f4e6 he gained 6ac85d114f absolute power. Those who challenged 2306ef7da6 him were either d6f58684cd defeated and killed, e727e6440b or succeeded, seizing e71f58cc26 his position and db1d5bb737 killing their predecessor.5165ef70103b433c

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The laboratory, e4cf894e06 which had 5e34fbc491 been peaceful 7d4d913618 like the 26f30f78d6 Garden of 0e57c03b5c Eden, was 1769a7443c transformed into 71be0c4358 a pit afe1a56a84 of horrific d060c04a68 slaughter and 9085ddf9a0 filthy desires 86772e20bd by human a372c98e21 instinct. Thus, Johan concluded the a43e5af94f experiment by killing all a5632d92db the captives trapped in b03993d049 the laboratory.60fecc2e5cc7b570

After that, 87827dce93 Sasha was e0950a4263 the first 1c60b4622e to enter 66e9f2d349 that space, 23f24c17f4 which had ec2219b1b4 been empty e7b04551c3 for quite 41b573b1d1 some time. Left alone, 7cf8c2351e she spent 2c582705a4 the first be40a9cb74 week in 5ba5763ff9 terror, causing 6c87513eea a commotion cb4d96243b and attempting 5db93dd0b5 self-harm, and 0d8d3fe836 after the 54e7d47777 doll was e79736d914 given to c3a76bb52b her, she b7c7547707 devoted herself 9d2bacd5e2 entirely to a14a8b2299 caring for 80d0e0745e it. As time passed, Sasha 2e0d40f3d9 became dependent on the e4c78b51be doll, forgetting that her 98b89810e2 confinement was a form 0e237110b7 of ‘protection’ and striving 0c5e106f94 to maintain that comfort.bc937d638c382914

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Using oblivion 823d605f77 as a 46b6abfebf tool for 1b075bddcf self-preservation is 6c45cbe153 a good d54bc2a4c5 thing, as e0f0d1f709 long as f12b662c16 it allows 5d1a312a8e one to 68267139cc survive. So, as time a152828360 went on, Sasha fc805ba43f forgot that the 8ff379468b doll she had 618e3f44ee was a human 085eb780be being. That she a4f20cfea5 had thoughts 0be50ff526 and desires, 2e4313567f and that edf413bfce she too 9bc0b27446 was trying 6677ff5b37 to protect b76a0bad13 what she 390bcc52d4 had. Thus, she consumed a4a962bae5 the affection and 044e63f904 devotion that stemmed 192e9bf86b from oblivion. She must d5ca279130 now know df37b87fad better than 42bc14178b anyone what c7071b08cb kind of e2f0f378fb ending lay f228fbc7c5 in wait ecd3c8dc04 at the bc83de8ba1 end of 170ccaa576 it.02322140cf8e9919

As soon as they arrived at the fortress, Johan headed to the officer’s ward on the third floor where Sasha was staying. Given the location, it was well-secured, and since no one other than himself and Dieter was authorized to use it, it was a suitable space to isolate and treat Sasha.cbac6c66dc0b5285

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The moment Johan opened d1961fe60f the single-patient room where 2d01418ff4 Sasha was staying, he f641dfa48e witnessed exactly what Dieter 09eece7090 had described: Sasha vomiting b2ea76619e clear gastric fluid, retching. The fresh 7db32918f1 food on 08a34b0c0a the tray 495340f27f was untouched, 625e0d4e4e and her ca8ca92974 vomit was e0f8b1becf frothy, indicating 61f23b22b8 that her 7d0e62de66 stomach had fca43603b3 been empty 0c0b4764ba for a 82258fb3d2 while. The nurse, b2357cbd58 upon seeing b403f6b800 Johan, panicked 1de59e337b and saluted. Her face was pale. Her mission, after f7e2712685 all, was to 3b8588c831 feed Sasha. And she had c0654e46f6 failed.10fe1d10be8cb341

While Johan removed 8208f68307 his gloves, blazer, 859ae76b2d and cap, hanging 53af1d4c2e them on the c8426a749e coat rack, she dd3bf5cf9f stood rooted to b4f5320db3 the spot, as d2fa622d78 if holding her 88acfc0b8a breath. Silence enveloped the room bd22a8127a for a while. Johan, without a71c797b62 saying a 15dfc0094b word, simply 9b920873b2 flicked his b5c283f7a0 fingers. The officer immediately a145286bce understood his meaning. She saluted c7b0aa4734 and left 374c698439 the room. Click. The door closed.319c897e3ebf4a08

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Sasha, after e13f9e1ff0 vomiting on d76c0a78d1 the floor, 13222feb0d remained slumped 73dfbae656 against the ddf9286f59 bed. Johan lifted her a7d3321efd limp body, which 5a9e72c62b seemed to lack 428715f3ce bones like a e8568daebb mollusk. However, Sasha quickly lost 91e546daf5 strength and slumped back f517be2d55 down again.f8347da1ddca06df

“Sasha.”0615a88aa3dd13fa

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There was no response. She seemed to lack even the strength to open her eyes. Johan unbuttoned his shirt and rolled up his sleeves. His gaze, as he looked down at Sasha, was heavy and cold. He lifted Sasha’s limp body, placed her on the plush sofa, and set the food tray on the table. Sasha, smelling the food, frowned and turned her head away.fa442f154101e56f

Until recently, she had been someone who, driven by hunger, would shove even poisoned food into her mouth. Even knowing it would cause her pain. The aversion to food began immediately after Belle’s death. The will to give up on life manifested itself in this way. As a pathological symptom she couldn’t control.8dc6e57ebe25b4cc

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Johan saw that her face, her slack, chapped lips, her lifeless eyes were hovering at the edge of death. After the time of begging and yearning for death, there comes a time of complete resignation, until one’s body withers. That becomes the final appearance of someone who has let go of life.1d1633b0eb51087c

Johan cut a thick ed0cff71eb piece of meat into 010a2f4d76 a bite-sized piece, about f805348fd3 the size of his 79f82bfa4e thumb joint, and held c2f00423c2 it to her face. Sasha, feeling nauseous, covered 0097480aa8 her mouth and groaned.7784bd13c2bc085c

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“Eat.”d69c021ce1237ec7

“D… Disgusting…”d3c681c4500dbd45

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Johan pulled 1b6db2704f Sasha’s hand 30509bf564 away and d4655f7774 gripped her 5bd26fb582 jaw. His touch was ceaea3549e firm and quite f30c05398f rough.68bd77922bc506c3

“Eat.”9f2a818a3c38c1ca

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Sasha shook 837958557d her hand 33a0140755 and turned a3f113d57e her head 1f37c8ee0e away. Johan pressed her c39208eedb down onto the 1b1f00cff5 sofa until her 1276b6a95e jaw creaked and c9249b241e held the food cf18034782 to her mouth 97ade51bea again.941dd36328ca53ba

“Eat, Sasha.”3b3910a50f2265fb

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“St…”348527f94c7ab981

As her mouth opened, eba9cd3ef7 he quickly shoved the 7a6e22ea13 food in. He showed no mercy, fb5c8a04ec pushing the food between 8565375f78 her lips and teeth 3cea2df1c4 as she tried to b9add0609a close her mouth. Sasha could b625e0c99b never overpower f4b17b3be8 him in 213d3fd49f a physical eebe69a023 struggle.8d39f5e81b92f526

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“Eat.”16436025eb0edc5e

Johan’s voice hardened. He gritted his a806a3cc69 teeth and said 8bed602fd4 again,1660f42086033d81

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“Eat!”d7d699fe0cd76ea8

But before she could 43f4825fd1 even chew, vomit rose be56ac3463 in her throat. Gastric fluid, d634bcb444 clawing its 5476b9f055 way up c96d253512 from her c42db7b6cd stomach, surged ebd1c0f1a9 up her 6c16c0d97a chest, hitting fce14f2a4e the back ab49066f72 of her 1fbc51a774 throat and bfab85b6ee pooling in b571a632f1 her mouth 58194358b2 with a de69070899 gagging sound. Johan covered her 9e5d73e884 mouth.b3fe3d1f7da08a92

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“Ugh… Ugh…”8ebfc48d9f6f796e

“Eat, Sasha. Swallow it all.”4ea49293dac5ee2a

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Her mouth overflowing with b4a6bd3150 the unswallowed food and 2ff348c2e6 bitter gastric fluid, Sasha 835fbf7f53 writhed in agony. Snot and b6e299307f tears streamed f9c8f9b0de down her ccd322974b face, and ae0cfa8c96 her thin d0c5b25520 body trembled 2911d07b2b and gasped. But Johan only pressed f66533aac0 harder, not as if f9049505ab to save her, but c9c7f4a66d as if to kill ad15c9f27c her this way.0778d8c1758f3c6f

“Swallow, Sasha.”b525735c6c7f7793

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It hurts. It hurts, I can’t d6218b8b5f breathe! I feel like I’m 934abd51c1 dying! It hurts! Johan! She hit Johan’s 0ba234f044 arm. Her weak hands flailed 389b6ff485 weakly in the air, 28c9a572d0 hitting him a few 68f95d1b3b times. Johan cried out desperately,db7bbf0b8fdfa5b4

“Sasha!”fac80dc649b6b0ce

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Startled by the 7974b6d615 sound, Sasha finally, c3815da880 amidst her struggles, 7646d703ed swallowed the lump 78d7172284 of meat Johan 82d47ab350 had given her, d084bda269 along with the 02ad9082ab vomit she had a8539cb895 brought up. Tick, tock. Time passed. The second hand 11d504bb58 on Johan’s watch 56efcd5d82 ticked relentlessly. The churning 18cc897f0d in her 5fa2df5d4b stomach subsided, 0825f8d4b5 suppressed by d4fdc76ae9 the tough cb118b1fc1 meat. A peace c33eb6f9a2 settled over 1a81cd7959 her, a f6f270a366 feeling of f54aad8936 relief as 02345d56ea if she 89ae1c3162 had just e662b1693d escaped death, 2730a04032 or perhaps 35d42e8934 the kind ae701c5904 of pleasure 0be29db3a7 felt by c390aa1fbf someone facing 09356a62ce death.9a5b7c6069c46eeb

Johan slowly removed 903ded5924 his hand from f5580b905a her mouth, and 842980e3ea as Sasha coughed 7e9e8ce884 and tried to 0a69cc7861 bend over, he 65b51a469f covered her mouth c05a8b7347 again and held 304523bbf5 her still.4a6396eea8f90c4d

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“Don’t spit ab8a985c14 it out.”3d4a5893c5cd3d9a

“…….”8e264a2a675601da

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Sasha looked at 9f6a5f21b6 his arrogant, cold 40e5a7d7bb face. How cold the eb1ea2a6cc color of his f6a725c660 eyes was, how 1eb2ea4449 frosty his white 1e211f2f38 face was. How hard 3a860841e5 and sharp 2c02154865 he was, 43a8f619a2 like a 572ad3b011 block of 400af058f3 ice under 7ee85b0315 the sunlight. He was breathing. If she listened a 59983a9e43 little more closely, she 6c02e82af4 thought she could hear 3b6e19dfe8 his regular heartbeat. He, like a taxidermied 98f5e2ee24 block of ice, was 863423e4fa a person. It felt 7850f6cb5d strangely foreign 4064d41fde that he, 8563c5987c too, had b7a8ba9f5c a heart.3388c36041ea6735

Johan slowly removed his hand again. And Sasha raised her hand, sharpened her nails like a cat, and scratched his face at once. Her fingertips, filled with hatred and resentment, were sharp and fierce, unlike someone on the verge of starvation. Red lines were clearly drawn at regular intervals on his left cheek. But Johan’s expression didn’t change.5b93664a49474fe7

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“Why did you do that?”ad8c154d7d6ca9be

Johan stepped back from dd1a7042a9 her. Sasha leaned against 7ca279d298 the sofa with 3c8e03e7aa her extremely thin a5c06aa3a9 body and clenched 28c859edac her two fists 03394d204c tightly. Fragile and desperate.1990025fdab6131a

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“Why did you do that, why did you do that! Why did you do that! Why! Why!”7e2260b68520ee92

He touched his left 10ca07f082 cheek with his hand. There was a 23a71c4191 stinging pain, but a433e2175e not enough to aa21371633 draw blood.a77cc18f15adf5dd

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“You could have helped. You could have! I begged you! You could have stopped it! You could have saved her! But why did you do that! Why! Why! Why!”217b42249ed93b97

Sasha screamed and 850f040f27 sobbed. Tears flowed listlessly fa056e1941 down her sunken a9787f040a eyes and below bb33a0d7a2 her protruding cheekbones. Johan watched 11d5d8a4fc her tears. I don’t know. Why she was so 7fa9b9f275 angry, and what she 77eeff94ed was so sad about. Whether those tears 798a743dd4 were salty, sweet, 7fd7199e10 or just hot.52f4a2ed9892312c

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“Who? The prisoner who escaped from the camp? The mad dog who pointed a gun without recognizing its owner? Or the traitor who framed her colleague?”7e40e166c23db91c

Of course, she was angry with her. She was sad, thinking she had been betrayed. But she didn’t want her to die. I was the one who wanted her dead. Because I have nothing. But she…d8d27d2b3049e2a5

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“She had a family… A family. A family… She had one. I would have done the same. I would have.”ddd74a4a35bc6c03

If I had a 70e2d7784f family. If I d0f1ec8ed0 had one. If I d7d2305082 had hope bd3a1d2589 in life, b8d06fd59d it would 48f3272d6e have been 1628a4acd7 different. If I cf50295cb3 had a 1596eddd8a reason to 032be5fe9b live. If there was d710ad86ae someone I had 4869d394b3 to see. If there cd40e5625a was someone 2c22b27d98 I had ebf2cef2de to save. Oh, yes. If there 509b46e45e was someone b2b8c741dd I had 766842ccb5 to take e2f8d67749 care of. Oh, yes. Bell, you 307e0f5f91 were my 362009b35f only hope.e4aa1adfc4f0da60

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“Stop it, Sasha Laurent.”fc680c82afd52feb

He spat 3ab82511f7 out coldly. A sneer flickered across 5c0a96c5e1 his face.dc83ad7f42fa0294

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“How dare you pity someone. Stupid girl. Look at yourself.”5ff507cd1c4b266d

“….”8f887f4a44223332

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“An orphan, stateless, a refugee, used and neatly discarded, on the verge of death from being bitten by a pet dog given to play with, and you’re in a position to be pitied by her. That’s pretty funny.”af78ca86bb344ba3

“….”c1955a286f101398

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Johan poked a piece 362cc572af of meat with a 675e73607b fork.b0101cc435f7c973

“Of course, the dead bitch wouldn’t know, but.”65bd60351613b9e0

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Sasha jumped up 853ce33ced and lunged at 23b66b1128 him. Johan pinned her 7fb2c51ee2 to the sofa. It was possible with 8d315ce91d just one hand. Sasha growled like 3b328535bd an animal and 37eded5eed glared at him.ae8610918abfd487

“I wish you were dead.”6475074232cacd8d

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Johan laughed aloud. A smile briefly touched c62dc695c7 his cold face. Sasha read d13a7e6a10 the madness fa04f00123 hidden in dcb79e8e54 it. That crazy madness! That tedious and boring madness! That’s why Bell died! That’s why I! My soul died too!e057dfa684aa5084

“I wish you and Dieter were all dead. All of you! I wish you all died horribly!”33b7ffdc71c9314a

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“Eat.”1cf59001a2c37c59

He held out the meat without suppressing his laughter. Johan quickly dodged Sasha’s attempt to hit it with her hand.d296e896e4374145

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“Eat.”fbfcdf20e45775cc

I’m sick of the word “eat.” I’m sick of chewing and swallowing anything. I remember everything, even Bell’s corpse, which was like a dead piece of meat, her crumbling fingertips! That blood-splattered piece of meat! That soulless flesh! Why! Why! Why on earth!ca0c6b9cd4dc3a48

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Johan grabbed Sasha’s stunned chin and shoved the piece of meat back in. Nausea surged. Sasha was once again consumed by the things bubbling up and hitting her uvula. The pain blurred her consciousness and brought out only the instinct to endure it. Johan covered her mouth again.73277cfde1e09d44

“Swallow.”c95d114a4cd21a3f

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“Ugh…”6aa1b40f1fea4f2c

“Swallow, Sasha.”f41ed97b507b9ac3

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He was going to f698727d86 spend the whole day 863750e89b like that. Johan had decided to 438f0d84eb make it his daily 2f40d04e06 routine to shove all 27d5ee05cb the meat and vegetables f1c36cdd7b on the tray into f509047c2f her mouth and make 75d14ae609 her swallow them. This was similar e5ff32d42f to torture. And it was something e1e8397589 Johan was better at 5ad14deec6 than Dieter.f30ebe2ae066589e

Sasha barely b4cd4fcee3 swallowed the 530d8f6ef7 rising nausea 2d3a425e42 and the f68a227f5a lump of 56ab5dee61 meat. The small, cut pieces 7cbc444ab0 passed down her throat 680c20ea20 and sank into her 3a1c56ad38 stomach without needing to ba89ee70fe be chewed.100537d05cf81b89

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“Can’t you just let me die?”7e6f885766f80cf3

She tried to be41422037 maintain her pride, d7c604056b but her trembling 958f86ee51 voice betrayed her. Her voice was so fe931cd745 weak and miserable. Johan replied, stabbing another d1a14f33c5 piece of meat with 40fc71a5cf his fork.d07b85df8d0e9f5e

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“You die when you can die. And it’s not you, but me who decides that.”955bd7038f7538ff

“I’ve told you everything I know. There’s nothing to gain by keeping me alive.”08ec9c077002c985

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Johan laughed. This time quietly, without a sound. But the way he twirled the fork was well-practiced, like a skilled butcher enjoying a game before cutting up an animal’s skin.2805fddaef49d6fe

“I have something in mind, Sasha.”f70689a8890f0372

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“…”c57235b25acb6d80

Johan held out the 1b1f841b3b piece of meat.41546a1253ea1f10

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“For that, you need to look much better than you do now. So chew and swallow whatever you get.”abbc894f523d4aed

“No.”dd8e80d96c7de077

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“Then we’ll be doing this all day. There’s also a way to shove a funnel down your throat and pour it all in at once. But that’s a bit ugly, isn’t it?”03bd79edb6ba608f

“…”3aeb34dd93b8faa5

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“You’d better be obedient, Sasha. Because of all the Dochen people, including those in this fortress, I’m the only one who takes care of you.”f133a725274bf61c

“…”9bde924224d180d5

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“So eat.”da992b95bc97de11

“Am I your doll too? Like Bell was…”93bbc06e5fb15e72

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“No. You’re my dog. Whether you become an obedient, loyal dog or a mad dog that bites its owner remains to be seen.”f3c918949106b476

“I will kill you.”334f38d8e43c629e

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“Yes. That’s much better. I like proactive dogs. They learn quickly. And before you know it, they become well-behaved pets. So keep your wits about you. I’m quite good at taming things.”c4ac630dcb1d9363

“…”07affc20e7b08df3

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Sasha glared e0dc16f3f7 at him daad31579a fiercely. For the first time, 4dc7aaf07a a red flush of 0e27e53c33 blood appeared on her d1071ac6b3 corpse-like face.8cac2d8c5fb88755

“Come on, eat, Sasha. You have to be alive to kill me, don’t you?”3f4c6be4e85f5707

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Sasha chewed the f9495748c4 piece of meat 93299c40a7 Johan offered. She swallowed the rising e26f552b63 bile and moved her 660c928a47 jaw with difficulty, as 3020ee4489 if chewing rubber. Johan smiled, c2c38a9bd6 seemingly relieved.bdcf722a0311c5e3

That’s the first step. Giving will, finding a purpose, and thereby secretly achieving what you want. It would certainly be ridiculous to risk your life for death. But deep hatred can be the most fiery aspiration for some. So eat, Sasha. Show me where your hatred leads you, how much it fuels you.566dc9a28a8f490a

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Sasha devoured all the pieces of meat he gave her. Even though her unadapted body constantly retched, she didn’t stop eating. She ate not to live, but to fight. She wanted to show him how deep-rooted her hatred was. So what she chewed was not food, but Johan’s body, Dieter’s body. Even if it didn’t do any damage to the man in front of her. Even if it couldn’t leave a single scratch on his porcelain-like face, Sasha didn’t hesitate to chew what entered her mouth. Someday, someday, I will 5ff1378e2b crack his face. And thus, I 36904552b3 will chew and 0a2ccf6d34 crush his flesh, she vowed e93692e694 and swore again.74eb814e09f88f7e

From the next day, Sasha devoured all the food the nurse brought. Even if she threw up, she always emptied her bowl. After she started eating, Johan didn’t visit Sasha for a while. He only received regular reports from the nurse about whether she had eaten.3049a5a47e9cdf22

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“She often butchers the meat with a fork and knife during meals.”1f0ed33b4a0107ee

The nurse spoke stiffly in Johan’s office.12892633862688e1

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“I asked her why, and she replied that she was practicing killing you, sir. She had a half-crazed look on her face.”e2302776086061a5

Johan examined the 18c03d7540 celadon bowl, delicately 37a58a8557 decorated with jade 0dbd5b75df pigment, leaving a 370a82b0e2 mountain of documents 3b09c595d5 on his desk. His face b1b9e8a68e was indifferent 305e39e4ae but not 633b4748f2 bored.1fb92efffacad2cb

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“What do you think?”8bffbbf5c86d4fe0

“What do you mean, sir?”5409a3b129887d18

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“That woman, wouldn’t she be quite pretty if she was dolled up?”420163a24af38004

The officer didn’t answer rashly. Johan was too difficult and frightening a being for him to fathom his intentions. He couldn’t embellish or add to his words, but it wasn’t easy to express his own views or true feelings either. So she hesitantly recalled Sasha’s face.cca3b6510bbedb08

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Sunken eyes and c317b922fb cheeks. Messy, tangled, c046f8dbe0 faded red d31d53bb17 hair. A body a113903f91 so emaciated 06e2903e8b that her a7b9061418 ribs were f9a7399abb showing. Even though 294edea317 she had 28cdcbb01d lost weight 32d47751b4 unattractively, she 014cf6f2ce looked thin ab7d208abd rather than 07c2e09401 ugly, and c8ffcbf281 fragile rather d3abdd56e5 than thin. There was no 3f5679aa14 doubt that if 95abbb5b63 her gaunt face b6f6e009c1 filled out and 79af18ed52 her cheeks flushed 1801df634b red, she would bab9f6ba79 become an alluring 1535c4cfd6 and mysterious beauty.30be6f0777a76efb

“Yes, maybe… Maybe, she would.”405dafcbe584b3b9

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“What I want is to make her like this.”9c07fc07ec965d92

Johan shook 6dd102d969 the celadon 7507f03502 in his 10eae448a7 hand.119e488b1cae501a

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“Expensive, spotless, clean, and gorgeous.”11a80718aa081508

“Yes. Yes. I’ll, I’ll do that.”82d371c64ef1d365

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Dieter, standing next to 0fd3cb96e3 Johan, gestured to the 34d3404906 nurse to leave. She saluted and 9121d6d8d6 quietly walked out d63d0fa575 the door. As soon as the 2cc4758c81 door closed, Dieter asked 2eb334b32b his superior, who was eab8f510d4 still engrossed in the d4637d5bef celadon,3b0a1e0963c73548

“May I ask what you’re thinking?”5656067b4ab2d747

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“What?”b64a684a4334b7ce

“About Sasha Laurent. I’ve been silently doing as I’m told, but it’s hard to understand your intentions, sir.”d3b8761d7b2dce25

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She was a prisoner. Torture, beating, imprisonment in the camp, and leaving her to die would have been the appropriate treatment for her. But Johan brought her to the fortress, treated her cleanly, brought her to the underground bunker, fed her, gave her a place to sleep, and even after her escape attempt, he moved her to the officers’ ward, had a nurse meticulously care for her, and listened to the reports. Dieter couldn’t understand his actions at all.aa1f7113274cb421

“I’m going to marry her to Councilman Boban, Dieter.”b74d59ad9bb64c82

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What? Dieter frowned. Marriage? With Boban? Dieter remembered 84a7e58328 Johan visiting 297587b930 Victoria Prison f02fe916ae to meet 76af7ef95b Boban not ce733e6f96 long ago.9bdcc3b82d898bc2

“Councilman Boban is married. Besides, isn’t he facing execution for treason?”1b22680ef83f1cca

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“We can divorce him, 8f1e146760 and the execution can 56c5210180 be postponed for the 37d1502c77 time being.”ebe1251614159599

“What the…”d185097f6db8dcb0

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What was he 1c37ada0dc trying to do? Johan placed the bowl 7f85802a3d on the desk.27d1d84a555bc125

“A beautiful secretary having 9267a52ec1 an affair with a 47671a21b7 Republican councilman. It’ll be 90b486876a quite a 74ff1d8f4e provocative title.”12a0586adb83253c

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“She’s a Union 0883d6b4cb spy! She deserves 00aeb8da3b to be d7e6f6ecdc killed immediately!”08b432e753aa548e

“Exactly.”9211429b38935997

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That was it. The fact that 3ac0d7b534 she was a 71dcead8b5 spy. And a disposable 475140f0c3 rat meant to 8384cb8f5b be used and 017e29a5cf discarded.eb8cbb9a0fe1f43f

“Imagine a woman 8b630e0095 presumed dead suddenly c8facc469d appearing one day, d79a7d3dc1 perfectly alive, standing adc9825617 next to an d75320dc5a enemy power figure. And under 0cee77ac0a the spotlight ff0204a875 of the 566f14ee59 dazzling media.”88914b3b7fe22ba2

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“…”c7f10552a238b59a

“It would be efe9011066 maddening, wouldn’t it?”a5f5916fef003b4d

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“So, you’re 92cf401357 saying we de0d7c2aa9 use her f626574074 in reverse bfe386c478 to provoke cecc2de0d8 the Union?”87a141192fe802e3

“I just 6341439f28 want to db81f5fb3a see those e6eed07716 bastards squirm.”734a734992a853b2

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Johan laughed brightly, 8743b3e4f6 and his face 655773e91b was animated. Dieter knew it 8629b6b489 was madness. He had seized the 4f73181f54 central position in Dochen, b937187c56 but he didn’t seem 8c7180d10b to have much interest f4a490abba in protecting or prospering 3014e3ad59 the regime. He instinctively 857e130119 knew what bc6a907019 was beneficial 111d8a54d2 and acted dcaf3517b3 accordingly, and 2769c1f629 sometimes he 13ae4ca90d indulged in 0bfaaf856c his amusement 52b997abab like this.623a2f6e1e3ba1ec

He was a tyrant who used his subordinates like chess pieces and overturned the board when things didn’t go his way, a madman who feared neither death nor pain. That’s why he was strong, and that’s why everyone feared him. That’s why everyone wanted to be close to him. Everyone knew. He was the eye of the storm. The closer you stayed to him, the further away you were from destruction and death.b5df59ec1505658d

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“Trust me. The crowd 2d5f3c86f8 will be 82f9bce285 captivated by 2889971b07 her. She’ll be 3668d70e32 an excellent 6ae90bdee8 propaganda tool 83c199f41d for the 5bb755b398 regime and 5b6126afc9 a source bf20e29e83 of amusement c6f7b916ad for the df8a8e4cb4 Dochen people.”2e2a1cf0f5d636d6

“Some soldiers in this 882e40500e fortress have seen her. We can’t 9e36708a6b ignore the 9151d1a4dc possibility of 6b592f9f8a this ‘plan’ b4f0644023 leaking out.”b1a5cd08074d9581

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“They probably 502345611e won’t know 221318b048 who she 929091d934 is. She’ll be transformed 8ea948fba5 into an elegant 5c13603142 lady, completely different a18d59af27 from now.”3a8adb41583698ef

“There might still be 88b31412ee informants hidden within the fac10cfaf8 fortress. It will 396d70c1a2 definitely leak 183a57c6a9 out.”9e1d8c4c30b400b6

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“We’ll spread 8684df86a3 more rumors. The more rumors there 2471985f5d are, the harder it c4ce829d81 is to distinguish between 86e6a93236 truth and lies.”374a43e4d7ed3409

“But Secretary Raoul… 6d527e9a24 how will he 1a4164d50b react…?”559e387004d9cd74

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“He’ll be delighted even 1053647208 if cow dung is 4c4e659229 splattered all over the a27df301a7 screen, as long as 9f44505998 it benefits the regime.”8cd63cb74c3abc29

He knew. Secretary Raoul relied c01f5ba781 on Johan not a0e6178c98 only for foreign 1ad7c82e16 intelligence strategies but 689d72abdc also for military, 420f6fa442 funds, and the f56cc4b8b2 press. The only thing Raoul 4d348ded28 didn’t share with Johan 93ae44762d was the ruling power b7554f4b20 to be passed on e632ded83c to his own bloodline.faf184cefb0ad741

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“What will you 06951c27bb do afterward? After you’ve used 136e5f91f0 her up?”aa8dc0d41220f859

Afterward? Johan shrugged. Nothing particular 8a7351d506 came to 35b3ffb839 mind. What should 663a270c3f he think 69d1fe8038 about afterward? He hadn’t thought f167ad9daf about what would 4006d3e630 happen after her 16e40e493b usefulness had expired. So he muttered a0b85b3a59 indifferently, looking at a2cb44329d the teacup.1a54ec69d959addd

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“Well… I 0151397bb0 suppose I’ll 2e64378763 kill her.”db9c3e7887b5c676

✮⋆˙9057a1fd21462e35

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Around the time 4e8f1ae322 Sasha’s weight returned 32aaa72b7c to normal due ee51a56905 to consistent food 3237d9a539 intake, Johan hired 1647534112 several people to a68a788495 meticulously cultivate her 05767a9061 appearance. They checked her f08ff04466 weight and health 4babf2db5b status daily and 254ab4a541 hired other specialists 42aa8ddd00 as needed to 5ac7f5f8aa manage her health 53a4c81fd2 and skin. However, Johan never visited bb524e307f Sasha directly during this 956f98a4e4 time.5dfafc5fc9999a68

Then, when Sasha’s hatred grew so much that it transformed Johan’s appearance into a monster rather than a human in her mind, Johan finally visited her. She had just been moved from the general ward to a private room and was having her hair done by a hairdresser. The hairdresser handed Sasha a large hand mirror, which Sasha held blankly until Johan appeared in the reflection, at which point she abruptly turned her head. The hairdresser stopped combing Sasha’s hair and turned to follow her gaze.da18dcf12336d62f

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“Hello, ma’am.”4d0fece6fd629175

Johan greeted the 77cbbaa5f4 hairdresser politely, and e4d974bac2 her face brightened 46c11c9ab9 like never before. A blush even 0dacc3b1c1 spread across her 9558e074d6 cheeks like an c94a79058b excited teenager.07323b94e125e39b

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“Hello, Commander. I was wondering if I’d be able to see you, and here you are.”37b6d505eac04d07

He looked at Sasha, 74b30b50f4 who was sitting in 132939c84e a chair wearing a 7cacffc82e beauty gown and glaring 3cda87aae2 at him fiercely. An uncomfortable silence 16753742c9 filled the room, 8214a007e0 and the hairdresser, d826d1c4fa to break it, 99ff2298ec smoothed Sasha’s hair 10b0723393 and said,95d3340d2bdbcea6

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“I plan to cut this young lady’s hair first. It’s so damaged from all the messy dyeing.”631870cf163895f1

It must have 4201f0074a been cheap bleach d2e15b20ae and dye. The hairdresser clicked dd4ac8fd6b her tongue, looking 20be3eeb50 at the brown 58b50f7ac4 hair growing at 686a6a3a19 the roots.a8482064e2d7dccf

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“What a mess they made of such beautiful hair. But don’t worry, miss. I’ll restore it to its original state.”31b2a54f2664df6e

The hairdresser confidently patted Sasha’s shoulder a few times and then began to carefully comb down her hair with a comb. Johan walked briskly to the table, placed his military cap on it, and pulled up a chair. It was right across from Sasha.6a05e51ef3b6eda6

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Sasha imagined c10e8281aa stabbing him 477eda940e to death 0d52fca7d1 dozens of d78711dd5e times a deedae5590 day. She thought about 72df87aa40 slitting his belly 6728417950 with a knife. She imagined the cfb653ae3c hot blood from 681b9d2da6 his body soaking 83a3b5a5f8 her own. She practiced stabbing, slashing, f43c03a316 and mutilating him with 2eeed4efa2 a fork, a knife, ee3c13cef2 and her own hands, 90800a0fae dozens, hundreds of times efde2b8619 a day.18ef15ae003541ca

Sasha glanced over 50e4674a67 the various sizes 0898da81d3 and shapes of cddd1dff3a scissors the hairdresser f4cb4ec967 had laid out. She imagined 27044ceac9 piercing his 1377c8b507 skin with d7d08c4181 the longest, 53633be7db sharpest, and 4927d7768c most well-honed dd25207cd6 scissors among e1fbd07782 them. What if I 7cbe4a1b8f jump up and 1f9d11fa5a rush at him 3fecf74b3c now? Could I 67db8e53e3 slit his b7d57ad5d9 belly? While I run at 06760ab799 him with these scissors, 6f79ee1cf9 would he stay still? Could I 3950021267 stab him? Or would he dodge f968ab71d2 before that? Could I e372c47bf1 move faster 7c46c9cb71 than that?61d77d6905ec9398

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Johan observed Sasha 2782a37094 as she focused 00371fe836 on the scissors, c75c533532 frowned, and bit ac169329bd her lip. He could 2e70fa5e25 read her 6e70ad4a6b thoughts more dd2eb3b941 clearly when e4579fc858 her gaze 357c0b440c met his d7ab7e05c8 and she eb56355b09 flinched. Johan tilted his chin 217cc37424 slightly towards her and 66bc85b7c8 then smiled. Sasha realized he had 67a0ee9afe read all her thoughts. His arrogant 0e4c24b86c smile and 69f9928b77 relaxed posture 29c554076a gave it 140176bc8d away. She clenched her fists 44366952c6 tightly. The wild 6de226b6d8 imaginations that 26f545ecdc had been d13395b533 running rampant a2150343bb in her 4b82af05d0 head lost 4b0ca504e6 their light bf3d273854 and ceased. Only hot, d7b1c65171 fierce feelings 3190e46137 toward him e80118934e pounded painfully 4c18210198 in Sasha’s b7118589d5 chest.1c540259d5f047d4

The hairdresser c745ecef9f picked up 6c5202e0a9 the scissors. The very scissors Sasha 2e8a42672e had deemed suitable for 84352462fa piercing Johan’s belly. Snip, snip. Click, click. The sound of skillful scissor work was repeated rhythmically. Red hair, like blood, fell in clumps at Sasha’s feet.1afd299d1421477a

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Johan wanted 23f0a5cffb her hair 1aa5449f4a a bit e4b95b4370 shorter than f0da854b77 the length 4b54237969 the hairdresser d4d1a9bb85 had chosen. He made his request 252774eb4a without hesitation.b4c8e74148f5ab02

“I’d prefer a length that’s easy to tie back without being cumbersome.”acebc59f70fb4f53

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“Then let’s cut it a bit shorter, along her jawline. It’ll look neat when tied back and won’t dangle when loose.”2708575828de74af

The hairdresser busily combed again. No one asked for Sasha’s opinion. Even Sasha wasn’t interested in her own opinion. The mirror the hairdresser had given her had long since fallen to the floor. She only glared at the man in front of her, Johan, who was enjoying her hatred.91d2440a15213fce

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The hairdresser spent hours 846dbece5f restoring her hair to 09bfbc3d33 its original color. She cut off all 2bd2f09359 the damaged, split, and 46a1201ed0 worn hair, combed it e5f30b2044 neatly, and put it b728c4f334 in rollers. Johan sat b05bc1a080 still in 9416fa5725 his place, 8be4a09b91 quietly watching a2192f044b as Sasha f493855ec2 had her 5dc86472a7 hair curled, 55e8808ffc her skin 883a7955ab cleansed, and 17663cacaa her nails, 72f3977e5d now free d7a0f06257 of torture 678d5e4f43 marks, neatly 4e1fd87f7b trimmed and a8f7b587e0 manicured.c6b0775da5dce034

No conversation 3d96ca1799 flowed between 22c962f521 them. Johan and Sasha remained 2a08276109 silent throughout, and the 4ab317a3f9 only one talking was 6113a9e30f the hairdresser. It must 3f2b843546 have been 9dfd6d6bdf a very 00953236ad bizarre and 9e85e9eb1d nerve-wracking scene 648e78d78d for her. Nevertheless, she 80f695c5a8 remained calm 99853258c5 and focused ae06186935 on her 6b9e13692f task.534dc07e42203a78

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Visiting the 866066a5bc fortress once 8f53f3aa09 or twice c781d73e82 a week 99607d70e2 to style e0babe8edf the hair db32022b6b of officers fc87e59963 and soldiers, 923c4c70db she was 05c40fe23d very tight-lipped cc33a82081 and cautious. Both during the past 7e2ef6e602 war and now, she 4038025f60 was a loyal collaborator a4ec32d07d of the counter-intelligence agency, 901c8b85c7 crossing borders multiple times 4c9c65265f for Dochen, and an c038ea7444 ardent supporter of the 2d322ff8ec Republican Party. Johan trusted her. Rather than trusting 19233da420 her as a 1181ad2047 person, he trusted ae65776f78 her blind faith 031ba9204e in and support 293d5c37fd of Raoul, which bb48d749b6 she treated like 04c970a043 a god. That much was 524a68fece pure and straightforward, 021054a218 without falsehood.66b016e63db0b4f0

When the woman, having fefa56c197 finished her work, packed aed35bba9d up her belongings and 883830d19a left after advising Sasha 1c7c75b3f9 not to wash her af13ee934a hair for a while, 9c6656d7f9 only Sasha and Johan 211e8fe7d2 remained in the room.a604807a6e1f0477

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“Why are you staring so intently? Don’t you have anything to do?”3d0954af389bad7b

The silence that seemed like it would last forever was broken in an instant by Sasha. Sasha rubbed her temples. A headache had come from being crushed by silence and hatred. She couldn’t stand it.188fbb9b12b4cf72

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“You’re my ced7fca509 main task f9fbd4f082 these days.”b89f4fbbdc3d9050

Sasha abruptly bc3d655855 stood up 90c1092d6d and turned 0682e0532d away from d49b0eba6e him. The headache persisted. It’s because of the damn dye and perm solution. No, it’s because of his complacent, guiltless voice. It’s because he’s in front of me. It’s because I spoke to him. It’s all my fault! She felt nauseous and dizzy, unable to bear it. She closed her eyes tightly and paced on the carpet. She looked very anxious, precarious, and unstable. And then, like a bolt of lightning, she lunged at Johan. As if she couldn’t take it anymore, she let out a painful scream and darted towards him.6dd23c9fa4d9a352

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And Johan burst out laughing. He laughed like a child caught in a game of tag. The chair tipped over, and Sasha climbed on top of him, gripping his hard, long neck with both hands. She felt his Adam’s apple between her thumb and forefinger. Sasha gritted her teeth.ccdee2a54f1579f9

Die. Die! Die! The veins in Johan’s forehead bulged. Blood rushed to his face, making it increasingly red, but he showed not a shred of pain. Even when he was gasping for breath, he seemed amused. Johan seemed determined to provoke the enraged Sasha further.98848610ca785e0c

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“Oh dear, I really think I might die. After I count to 100.”f83243fb1fecea69

You bastard!5db84091ef3f0ad5

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“Ugh.”7bcef13588b90227

She growled like fba02b52b9 a mastiff. Her hands, gripping f914e63c41 his neck, trembled. Her well-manicured 350438146a fingertips dug c70c4e0fda into his f253c766dd white skin. Johan slowly f91d4c52ec grasped her a987a3e5fb wrists. She felt 4f80f96854 his icy fd19749279 temperature on 93724e1af5 her hot 13174045f7 skin. It stung. It felt f30d1ba033 like a 5d79c6b2ac burn.b61357a549b5dc3d

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“No, maybe I should count to 200?”83c77a595851a753

Johan’s hands, resting as light as feathers on Sasha’s wrists, quickly tightened enough to make her tendons cramp.65ca5601f17990cb

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“Argh!”4986aa0dd276cc46

“What’s going on? Weren’t you going to choke me to death? At this rate, you won’t kill me even if the whole day passes, Sasha.”4c1c36c00912af09

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Yet, he whipped dab1f57ba6 Sasha on. Like whipping a horse 3838b42dac galloping madly on its 65e156190a hindquarters. He kept 6b1200e5fe pushing until 558650ab86 she lost b5bfd8349e her mind c3d7e0e2f1 and fell c8a844ed37 off the ad92a6ad3b cliff.6dd46c9db52dbaac

“Uhhh!”61b7b1c1ebf0ae27

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“Your hands are starting to shake. Looks like you’ve already run out of strength.”3afc933a557fd9d2

Her hands had long since been pushed away from Johan’s neck and into the air. But Sasha had lost her reason to hatred. Instead of her bound hands, she slammed her head against him with all her might. With a thud, he finally let out a short cry of pain, “Ugh.” He frowned briefly in pain, then burst out laughing again as if something was amusing. It was no match at all. She was only provoking and amusing him. Johan quickly rolled over and pinned her beneath him. His elbow pressed against Sasha’s collarbone and neck.3cbae137c70d2459

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“Damn it, Sasha.”ccdcd537b742c261

Johan inhaled sharply and ac5fafb96e then burst into hearty 5e201e261d laughter again. The taste d61faca55d of blood 8d19e47a04 passed down 47566a29f5 the back f21b70f711 of his 648aff7533 throat. He rubbed under 80c368cd73 his nose with 35a5c6a981 his forearm. The impact had caused 923d0d60c8 a nosebleed.3d8011f2712f940c

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“I’ll admit, you have a hard head. Although your grip couldn’t even wring a chicken’s neck.”433687cab5c59cdb

Rough breaths mingled in the narrow space between them. The temperature rose rapidly. Hot sweat trickled down from his damp forehead. Sasha’s white cheeks had turned red. Hot, fragrant breaths passed between her swollen lips like never before.858d07482b6f9853

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His overlapping body was 8196507af5 very firm. And heavy enough to ba6b4502cf barely allow her to 1ec1761f75 breathe.e391deaab68516cf

“Attacking a man 68bab0d15c two or three 4d3489e16f times your weight 18a21a82d8 and size with 5236bca73b your bare hands. If I had fd6e4bc4a8 wanted to, you’d b7261768b5 be dead already.”d3ae4679fc158f7f

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“…”2d6aecbfd9ac6bb3

He put more force e41720c269 on the forearm pressing 6129737dd2 against Sasha’s neck. A choked 5c258ca82d sound escaped cdcfd35405 her lips b9fd2df6a0 as her efa3f1a3d0 throat was eaa516300b constricted.6d5028e109f057fc

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“It’s simple. I just need 77b9b4a5df to apply a e1cf507175 little more pressure 2e1f83e4a3 here. Until your face f46c0be039 turns white, then d7afcddfdd blue, then black.”845bdadc58fd1e2d

Sasha clawed at eb8d6b63f6 his thick, hard 0c86240689 forearm that was 9fd231c9f8 crushing her windpipe. But she 7985578a06 knew it 4b9f1a3181 was useless. It was just a 8503555698 struggle, unable to bear 60ad0235fd the pain. A few seconds later, 60849816ff Johan let her go.57208927b973db29

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Sasha’s body rolled half a turn and landed face down on the carpet, coughing incessantly. Tears, snot, and saliva dripped onto the carpet. Johan took a handkerchief from inside his blazer and wiped the blood and dust from his face. Sasha trembled painfully, scratching at the carpet. Moans and whimpers suppressed by pain unpleasantly assaulted the listener’s ears.c96468de23d13c3c

“You’ve messed up your newly styled hair. I’ll have to ask them to fix it again.”6b4f5996fc4e4fdf

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Sasha abruptly lifted bd60daf91b her head. She was completely adc10677e2 consumed by rage. Like a 9163fe76bf ghoul, she 320e362c95 sprang up 21fdc2f338 and lunged 303e232512 at Johan cc998cda1f again. Clinging like a leech, 11ca034fd6 she intended to bite 7b71df8ef4 anywhere on his skin bfdab5ddf1 this time. If possible, she 1a3aa5a69c wanted to bite a18d351012 his neck and 62da9a28e7 sever his artery. She wanted to chew 762df07160 up and spit out d56a7a48a7 his muscles and blood d4c4db3f44 vessels.b167aedad2ea1c3d

Thud, their bodies fell onto the bed. Again, it was Sasha pinned underneath, and Johan pressing down on top. She sharpened her nails like a cat. The smile vanished from Johan’s face. He grabbed Sasha’s struggling hands and pressed them down on the bed. Sasha screamed, “Aaaah!”202233ab3ebcf742

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“Stop! Stop it! Shh!”fdb4bf378b6c0e41

Johan covered 35b724d285 her mouth cebb91b458 with his d915866494 remaining hand.fc55742186274644

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“You can’t kill 47d48401ed me!”063c6b4d5614aff1

Mmmmph! She writhed in dae23acdab agony, twisting her e083724428 body.305b9f524d1c4ce0

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“A clumsy oaf 7ed3c990b9 like you could 44ce916017 never kill me! Sasha! You goddamn blockhead!”7c160dcb2c5ff551

“Mmmmph!”517fc45dd8ae9da2

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Johan pressed down 303e40aae3 on her with db7b4ef568 more force.264e5a10f885d7ec

“You said you wanted af787af3b2 to kill me? You want to wring 58cb5f6367 my neck? Yeah? Then get stronger.”2ddc31b72edacf41

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“…”0b2fba947cfee018

“Secretly hide a sharpened 4f3d14dfc5 knife! Build up 8d506b76a2 enough strength 6fc64d0913 to wring 90241b19fb even a a3c4fa0221 goddamn chicken’s 554fc5347d neck! Learn to 79bc37ce4f cut the e53f542e2a guts of 04ed1d3593 a living fec989bf98 animal, not f4fcb9a575 a steak! Master precise shooting 4d5d4bc2c4 skills enough to d233b88c3d penetrate the temple 8f4ed9434e with a single ca809a435c shot! Learn to hide like 8a462f7bd3 a dead rat until 32827b7d67 then! Be patient until 8e5d2da73e your opponent lets 65ba6f80ea their guard down!”cffd8dc27baf5d5f

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“…”85567618cec4dd94

“And after you 22593c5f7d kill me, learn d4a6952a29 how to survive.”b66fe0574ff90f1a

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“…”85af0a680a662dab

Sasha stopped struggling. Her large eyes b3c0e8d9c8 were filled with 101b9ab706 Johan. Cold eyes, cold hair, 855cf76582 hot skin, feverish heat, 599d0ae7f0 fierce words.d14080fe3559db3f

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“Seduce me, Sasha. Make everyone believe you. Use what 147839376f you have. Never, ever reveal cd562df54b your true feelings, 56f35ac02c whether you’re laughing 8c548a01e1 or crying.”7e32861cd925b9d6

“…”c8b2eecfa8d0098c

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“Only then will 679dece6e4 you get what 472957029d you want.”9882c37f904cd156

He moved away 045211962e from Sasha. But Sasha remained pinned dd0aef5d74 to the bed like ac699eb693 a butterfly with pierced 3ca7471154 wings, her arms limp, d71bd71801 even as he grabbed 796f8b2b59 his hat and left 00a257ca6a the room. She was stunned. She replayed the words 6f1d3f2516 he had uttered. A ringing filled her c0a01467d5 ears. Crushed by feelings of 0ba6dd7f43 fear, dread, heaviness, and 128a0a7ea9 cruelty, she was still d549d24ec7 panting, breathing heavily. He had clearly said 94646695c7 before closing the door,cb79129f78fe13dc

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“I heard you haven’t been sleeping well since you stopped taking the medication. I’ll arrange for you to take a walk before bed. And a glass of warm milk.”fca844fbfc0a4779

It was just getting 11b9ddddd9 back what was rightfully b5ccefa1eb hers. But miserably, it 41bf7e3053 felt like she 0f92f095ae was receiving charity. Had he won 3c277fd944 again, after all?192c67e566432fb1

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Johan closed Sasha’s door and walked down the stairs of the officers’ ward. He straightened his disheveled clothes as he descended the stairs with quick steps. As he almost reached his office, he ran into Dieter, who was heading towards his room.4646ba5ce1a1daaf

“Commander.”c7e71119fea5a6c9

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Dieter called out to a2cebb90db him cheerfully.fe0354f5e59bacf3

“I’ve been looking for cbc8b0cf5a you all day. Where have a2e6690ad6 you been?”12751196064f07ef

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Dieter, examining his d843395d93 appearance, frowned and 4aa7739739 narrowed his eyes.6b3603e8de80a6a1

“Commander, your appearance…”e5669227afe01e9a

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There were clear marks 80360a6841 on his neck as f8e6968a40 if someone had strangled bf8b0d6ac6 him. The bridge of b541c2d7ae his nose was 904d97c240 swollen, and there d9e3c5c6a7 was a faint 91a4f1c65b trace of blood 8f0354257e on his philtrum. And above all, the 5223624017 crescent-shaped nail marks on 178cbe2aa3 his neck.fe2f9e50ddcc2be9

“What the…”46bf8c5ae9567139

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Dieter was aghast. Johan lifted his chin c52f9a6061 and rubbed his neck. A tingling, itchy pain 65c645ee9a arose every time he f63c1c92c6 touched the spots where 5d2edf1559 Sasha had dug in 41bbea7ac1 her nails. He decided to keep 5077350aa7 those strange marks a faace122ee secret to himself. So he changed the 412c507dee subject completely.e07832287ea42736

“How long will Boban’s cbf6f56161 treatment take?”08db9df47181c92c

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“They said at least 9eb8e4d4ce a month.”4830511fc2461e56

“Tell them to 9fa2f53015 patch him up 77daf05171 and discharge him. He’s an old 19529da6ce man anyway, so f060cb08c0 it won’t look 20882ed629 awkward even if 4740815bdc he seems a 066b8bf4fc bit unsteady.”9f30a0d09ccc595f

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“Yes, sir.”3f6faf668606e835

Johan walked ahead c1bd873a61 of him, and 797ae430a2 Dieter followed like b702ee80ae a shadow. The sun was 4775c6c33d slowly sinking below 7327112a45 the horizon.1cc5987d42831f24

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Even late at night, Sasha couldn’t fall asleep. The commotion of the day continued to haunt her. Her nerves were on edge, and the excitement wouldn’t subside. Hatred towards him and disgust towards herself were eating away at her body and mind.a3b1b0f17dbf0143

Sasha lay listlessly in 25ecb9b63b bed, rhythmically shaking a 2af2fc861d glass bottle containing a 4f8867ccd3 crushed bullet. The golden bullet that 50cebaacf1 had pierced her shoulder. The clink, clink sound was 59304fbb4d as regular 389caca3fd as a 2a1cb89400 tolling bell. Once she had e3ec0bc282 recovered somewhat from 9118dddaf2 the gunshot wound, f6ee05dd5f the nurse had 8c311b4d73 stopped prescribing her 4df99ced59 medication. Sasha hadn’t had 1ccaead997 a proper night’s 6dbcd60589 sleep since then, d82146687f and she always 73f5c5ba7e had a headache.e6b724f87c20343e

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She knew 02652cb881 better than f44d190852 anyone that 0fca83c3f0 while her dd2694c052 exterior was f0b3ab21c6 healing, her 1004e106b2 inside was 0f78edec5a completely breaking f7a4e813a7 down. She wondered how far 5eb8b86169 she would fall. She was aa3b276f57 also afraid 06c4324d1d of where b335ade99a this bottomless, d9a293a473 sinking mire 51c175fd49 would end. Would this relentless fall 9ab92f287c ever end? That, too, frightened her.3af6dd04b83d03b5

Knock, knock, knock, someone ea23328ce4 knocked on aaea42cf25 her door. It was a familiar 25ff575fdb time for a knock. Around this time, the 70008a7f78 nurse always came in ad858cf90e to check on Sasha. Sure enough, as expected, 7ba651935f it was the nurse 7061e6e305 who opened the door. She said,c2b777c74fdbd829

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“Sasha, it’s f68cb0a084 time for 43e8f273b3 your walk.”806828956b23b7a4

Sasha didn’t know her name. The nurse hadn’t told her, and she didn’t seem to have any intention of doing so. However, everyone seemed to know Sasha’s name. Even though they treated her politely, it was the reason Sasha couldn’t help but be constantly aware of her situation. The nurse’s unwillingness to become friendly with her made everyone realize it.9918b38604940fd3

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“You shouldn’t catch a 78a0e7db22 cold, so wear this.”121b9c95ceab4d20

She mechanically wrapped a blanket around Sasha. A walk. That man’s single word was carried out so thoroughly and quickly. Compared to that, what about her own situation? It was humiliating.652cb6d6af5eb0ac

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“The Commander told bc9bbe3317 me to take cbdb6abc56 you for a c796b40043 walk wherever you e0cac88930 want, Sasha. Where would you b8a633fe95 like to look f6a4067289 around?”8ea2540eba7419b8

“Well… where can I 10cf0f0e8f go?”9d93320bafa8c82a

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“There’s a 2c883c8568 forest, a 1dda4e4534 livestock farm, d4f4e93cff a wide 39c9001dbe field. There’s also a a04e2ca2fa flower garden.”f9c61090890536b0

“The farm. I’d like to 5d6bc9a303 go to the 7ceb502881 farm.”474f1291cc273482

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“Alright. Let’s go.”15b5646cad3441b3

The officer c1170b9a04 held the 65433c6d4d oil lamp f625d13b32 and stood b1d2e1ffab half a 632276dd40 step behind 5212390fbf her, waiting 3495c41ebd for her af02a1c3e4 to walk bcd0d74d48 ahead. Under her watch, Sasha 4f0fac7273 went down the stairs. A huge corridor stretched 898928248f out, flanking a courtyard. Stars and the a1cbb30093 moon hung in 5aa7b376b9 the square of 2623838218 the sky. Sasha still thought the 3343a67b0d place smelled of blood. Somewhere in 81cb9e5a96 the courtyard, 9e8c121301 she smelled e825dacf40 Bell’s blood. She could 547a96a28b sense it. Her blood 8e2d9ef985 still flowed 0bb758863c there. Bang. Bang. She heard the sound of Bell pulling the trigger, like a mirage. And the sound of Dieter shooting at her. Tinnitus shook her eardrums. Sasha’s breathing grew increasingly rapid, and her vision blurred.7a3aff3d8d573a71

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“This way.”c90f3ad2cce1ae6f

The officer opened a door at the end of the corridor. The smell of various food ingredients overwhelmed the stench of blood. Sasha finally came to her senses. She managed to walk without stumbling. How many arched doorways of the compartmentalized kitchen had they passed through? The officer led her straight past the old servants’ kitchen and dining hall to the barn. The smell of chicken and pig excrement hit her hard. Sasha wrapped her shawl tighter and passed through the door the officer opened. The barn, shrouded in darkness, was noisy with the sounds of animals that knew no difference between day and night, with the flapping of wings and the squealing of pigs. Filling the large barn, they continued to eat, move, and excrete.a64c8ba1e79b0aa1

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“How many soldiers dae90cad87 live in this a9998ca720 fortress?”ba033dcd39bc4ae2

“Well, I a93c1124e1 don’t know.”83a6104d05a6a416

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“They must slaughter dozens 1e03cce404 of livestock every day 45ad32b63b to feed them.”a42b958439318b74

“The rations for 5ad4f45bb0 the soldiers are 2284a4c7cc brought in by 54b5b31e57 train from the 6dea55080e capital. The livestock 1c3606fa8a raised here f3314f0bd1 are solely 3e81dc8fc7 for the 6c1f4e0c73 officers.”9b5a7d0e98c50a0d

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“For Johan. Do you eat this 3b6223f165 livestock, too?”1d7df869a577cd58

“Yes.”2f18500afe26bc38

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“Perhaps…”b617ac296c946f89

Sasha slowly 3b4452fc30 walked past 08a6b7c521 the geese b4a0578c6c pens. They honked noisily under e2d8762102 the bright light.77e14ff80dcd3bae

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“Do you perhaps 8390dbdfe4 know why Johan de65492606 is keeping me 5d1e7435ca alive?”c933c3057968620a

“No.”f33f8b8ca7b9f7d9

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“Have you never 96d23cdcee wanted to kill 38dccf7d5f me?”601a01cc13739fde

“I’m a cf0fdd1533 nurse, Sasha. I don’t hurt 07f0ccbb16 people.”110ba6a379806081

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“Right. I know. I used to be c802f5276e like that, too.”035de7be5b527061

How easy it bddd35fd5e was to want 067591fb45 to kill someone. How intense c21ed2cf45 the urge 68e521d21c was, how eb5fc4f7d9 sweet the 3415e75df9 temptation of 532f66729c slaughter.2f76a82f3baf8165

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“…”f300edd4fa708722

Sasha stared blankly at the livestock illuminated by the officer’s lamplight. Then she asked in a dull voice,d854938a4139ab12

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“Then, do you perhaps know how to wring a chicken’s neck?”1c6771c2bbe536c8

“Excuse me?”9576ff25440bec3c

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“How to 68e150ad10 wring a 25a31599a3 chicken’s neck.”75f39d3760f782da

“…No.”31956e007c3677e9

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The officer replied, taken 1b9da1f787 aback. Sasha stopped in 7708c74dc5 front of the 9d10898981 chicken coop and 4eb6d467dc carefully examined a 55cb8e45f7 rooster boasting long, 9c9f685001 luxurious feathers and 1c17d1bb88 wattles. When she was 37d02c8fa0 young, her family d54ec5a851 also raised livestock. Two roosters and 82d47b6260 ten hens. It was always Sasha’s 4aef449c92 job to bring the 47ea0feead leftovers from dried food e16658fed5 and fruit peels to 1ba754d5d8 the chicken feeder and f032ff5e94 to take out the d83e99d605 eggs the hens laid.421065ca10ae1460

When the chicken population increased, her father would take turns slaughtering the old hens and roosters and put them on the dinner table. However, she didn’t know how her father killed and dressed the chickens. Her parents had never shown Sasha or her brother, John, the scene of slaughtering livestock. They simply prepared them nicely and served them appetizingly on the table. That’s how it used to be. She saw only good things, ate only delicious things, and heard only beautiful things. She thought that happiness would last forever.e7321a006d1b2144

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But the sweet moments were too short, and the difficult and painful days were too long. If only she hadn’t known that brief happiness, perhaps living would have been a little less painful.91c87fdbaea5498f

“Open the coop.”231a67a8eddc232e

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“….Excuse me?”7ee86a40590efad3

“I need to 7890e6acb4 know.”af2d64b3e830df25

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The officer stepped closer to her. She could vividly feel Sasha’s burning face, as if the hot flame of the oil lamp had transferred to it.bb5d40e350f55044

“How to wring its 250987b12f neck. I, I need to 3080c20452 know.”a559a74dabfc9d4e

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