#Epilogue

With Kang I-won’s remarkable display of his newly blossomed abilities, the dome that spanned across Seoul and Gyeonggi quickly disappeared.

The first thing Kang I-won did after the dome vanished was to check himself into a hospital. Since his regeneration ability had vanished, the injuries he sustained inside the dome wouldn’t heal. He awkwardly stared at his bandage-wrapped upper body.

Under Heo Do-gyeong’s strict supervision, Kang I-won lay in bed as still as a statue. But it wasn’t boring. Thanks to the endless movies he devoured with Heo Do-gyeong on the TV in their private room, time flew by without him even noticing.

Two weeks passed like that, and once his body fully recovered, Kang I-won was discharged from the hospital. The next thing he did was undergo a reassessment of his new abilities.

Just based on what he had displayed inside the dome, it was obvious he’d rank as an S-level Esper. As a result, even before the official results came out, he received an offer to transfer to the Seoul branch, which he accepted without hesitation.

The transfer process wasn’t immediate. There were papers to sort out, and for the letter “A” next to his name to be replaced with an “S,” the reassessment results had to be finalized. Even in the fastest scenario, it would take two to three months.

For these reasons and others, his return to the center was postponed until after the reassessment results were available. This granted him about a month of complete rest, and during this break, Kang I-won remembered what he wanted to do first.

* * *

Heo Do-gyeong, with a sullen expression, firmly shook his head.

“No.”

“It’s just a quick trip.”

“I said no. Why are you trying to go alone? Can’t we just go together?”

“It’s somewhere I want to visit alone.”

“Even so, no. Let’s go together. I’ll keep my distance when you need privacy. I’ll even drive you there comfortably.”

Even though Kang I-won had acknowledged him as his Guide, the distrust Heo Do-gyeong harbored toward Kang I-won after the events in the dome had only deepened. Because of this, Heo Do-gyeong couldn’t bear to let Kang I-won leave on his own.

Even though Kang I-won no longer harbored any thoughts of dying—something Heo Do-gyeong had worked so hard to ensure—he remained perpetually anxious. He blamed himself for failing to earn Kang I-won’s complete trust.

As Kang I-won pondered how to convince him, he suddenly realized he hadn’t given Heo Do-gyeong an answer to his confession.

“Do-gyeong.”

“Even if you call me that, you still can’t go al—”

“I like you.”

The feelings he had avoided for so long came spilling out the moment he acknowledged them, far more easily than he’d expected. He felt a little embarrassed voicing his genuine emotions for the first time, but also strangely relieved.

“Wha… What?”

Heo Do-gyeong stammered, staring at Kang I-won with a dumbfounded expression. Seeing his face, a small smile tugged at Kang I-won’s lips.

“I like you too. So there’s no need for you to worry. I just… really need to go alone this time. I need some time to sort out my thoughts.”

Kang I-won had resolved to live by Heo Do-gyeong’s side, but making that resolution didn’t mean his feelings would change so easily. That’s why he wanted to change, to steady his heart, and to seek forgiveness from someone he hadn’t been able to apologize to—a forgiveness that would never truly reach them.

The deaths of others weren’t his fault. Kang I-won knew that. Espers were always caught in danger, and those who died were simply unlucky.

But Kim Seon-young was different.

Kim Seon-young, who always stayed within the center, had only ventured into the field because of Kang I-won. If not for him, she wouldn’t have been in such a place, wouldn’t have died such a horrific death. Kim Seon-young’s death was entirely Kang I-won’s fault.

And yet, he had tried to forget, agonized by the mere memory. He had succeeded in pushing it out of his mind. But now that he had remembered what he had tried so hard to erase, it was time for the unfilial to go and ask for forgiveness. His heart felt heavy with guilt for such a belated atonement.

Hiding his sinking feelings, Kang I-won looked at Heo Do-gyeong. His face flushed red, Heo Do-gyeong hesitated before speaking.

“…If you say you love me, I’ll let you go.”

The words “I like you,” which had come out so easily before, felt far lighter than the single phrase “I love you.” For Kang I-won, who had just made up his mind, saying “I love you” was still a difficult thing. After hesitating, he replied in a small voice.

“I’ll say it when I come back.”

“You’re not planning on not coming back, are you?”

“I will. If you’re worried, I can even turn on GPS the whole time.”

Kang I-won’s words were nothing more than an empty promise meant to reassure the anxious Heo Do-gyeong. But Heo Do-gyeong’s eyes lit up, and he nodded enthusiastically.

“That sounds great.”

“…What?”

“I said it’s a good idea. Don’t you dare turn it off until you get back. If you do, I’ll come after you right away.”

Did he really need permission for this? Despite his doubts, Kang I-won, finally granted Heo Do-gyeong’s reluctant approval, set about renting a car. He didn’t own a vehicle, borrowing Heo Do-gyeong’s car felt burdensome, and being on leave meant he couldn’t use a center vehicle.

Once he was ready, Kang I-won turned on the GPS right in front of Heo Do-gyeong, confirmed that his location signal was visible on Heo Do-gyeong’s device, and even handed over the address of his destination. Only then was he allowed to get into the rental car.

The entire drive was weighed down by a flood of emotions—shame, guilt, and regret—wrapping around him like chains.

Because of this, he frequently pulled over to rest, stopping and starting again and again. If only a monster had appeared, it would have given him an excuse to delay further. But no such convenient distractions appeared; the route to Gwangyang was devoid of even the faintest trace of a monster.

His hesitation and frequent breaks made him arrive far later than he’d originally planned.

When he finally reached Gwangyang after the long drive, the town felt both familiar and unfamiliar. The unchanged parts of the scenery mixed with the parts that had transformed completely, leaving him with a tangled sense of nostalgia and estrangement.

Another thirty minutes of driving through the familiar-yet-strange landscape brought him to his destination. Even after arriving at the entrance, Kang I-won lingered for a long time, pacing in front of the doors before he could finally bring himself to step beyond the threshold of the columbarium.

Since that fateful disaster, Kang I-won had fled the Jeonnam branch like a man running for his life. This was his first time visiting the columbarium since then. Slowly, his gaze swept across the glass walls and the urns behind them. Finding the person he had come to see was far too easy.

At eye level, the urn bore the name “Kim Seon-young,” engraved in three simple characters. In front of it stood a picture of Kim Seon-young, smiling brightly, accompanied by a floral arrangement. The moment Kang I-won saw the photo, the hazy memory of her face became vivid, and his eyes reddened with emotion.

“…I’m here, Mother. I… I came too late, didn’t I?”

Kang I-won’s voice trembled terribly as he spoke. Something surged from his chest, making it hard to even get the words out.

“…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry….”

His mind was a storm of words, apologies swirling around. Yet, all he could utter was the repeated refrain of regret. Staring at the picture of Kim Seon-young’s smiling face, he managed to continue in a broken voice.

“I… I actually… thought about ending it all….”

“You insane bastard!”

“Ugh!”

Before he could finish, a fist slammed into his cheek, sending him reeling.

The sudden impact threw Kang I-won off balance, and as he staggered, someone charged at him, almost tackling him to the ground. He instinctively rolled to avoid the onslaught, still dazed by the abrupt attack. It all happened so fast that he could barely comprehend it.

Clutching his stinging cheek, Kang I-won turned to see his assailant. It was an unfamiliar woman. Her tightly clenched fist trembled, and her face was contorted with rage. She glared at him, seething, before charging at him again.

“What the…!”

“You son of a bitch! After over ten years of not even showing your damn face, you finally come here just to say what? That you wanted to die? You crazy bastard!”

Unable to hold back her fury, the woman lunged at him again.

“You worthless! Piece of! Shit! You deserve! To be beaten! Even more!”

With each word, she punctuated her rage by swinging her fist at Kang I-won, who dodged as best he could while staring at her intently. Her face was unfamiliar yet oddly familiar at the same time.

“If you had just died early, do you think Mom would’ve been happy?! Huh?!”

Looking at her face, a thought struck him—if her hair were dyed blue…

‘I always liked Mom’s guiding the best.’

Suddenly, a memory surfaced, and Kang I-won’s eyes widened. At the same time, the contorted, crying face from his past came into sharp focus.

‘It’s your fault! Waaaaaah…’

That memory caused Kang I-won to freeze in place. The woman’s swinging fist landed on his chest, and she kept hitting him as she shouted.

“Mom… Mom stayed behind to save you. Mom gave her life to save someone like you! And you were just going to throw that away?! Who the hell do you think you are?!”

The blows stopped, but the woman’s clenched fists trembled violently.

“If you survived, then you should live. You should live for her too. Why the hell were you trying to die, you ungrateful bastard? If you die, then Mom’s death will have been for nothing.”

Her anger-stricken face crumbled, giving way to a deep sorrow.

“Even if you don’t want to live, you have to live, you piece of shit. Live stubbornly, for Mom’s sake too.”

“What are you saying…?”

The woman was the one who had blamed Kang I-won the most. She had hurled accusations at him, saying her mother died because of him. Yet now, here she was, telling him to live. He couldn’t understand why.

Kang I-won stared blankly at the woman’s grief-stricken face before opening his mouth.

“It’s my fault. Mom died because of me….”

“Exactly. That’s why you need to live for her too. Mom died trying to save you. So live, damn it. Live for her sake, no matter how hard it is.”

Her words hit Kang I-won like a hammer to the head, leaving him reeling as though he had been struck by something solid and unyielding.

For Kang I-won, death was a sanctuary, a place of rest, and an escape. At the same time, it was the only way he thought he could atone for being the one who survived—leaving behind his younger sibling, his mother, and his comrades.

But what if that was the wrong way?

“I… need to ask for forgiveness.”

“Then do it while you’re alive. You need to ask for forgiveness while living. Why were you trying to die? Did Mom ever want you dead? Huh?”

His mother’s voice came to mind.

‘At the very least, I want you to outlive my son.’

Kim Seon-young had never wished for Kang I-won’s death.

‘Son! Get up and run away!’

Her voice had been filled with desperation, urging him to live. It had always been her wish.

She had known she would die but still chose to save Kang I-won.

With this belated realization, Kang I-won shook his head with a contorted expression, his voice breaking.

“…No.”

“That’s right. Then you have to live. Live so you can remember and honor them to the very end.”

“But… because of me, Mom and my younger sibling both died….”

Hearing Kang I-won mutter, the woman hit her own chest in frustration before responding.

“Do you think you’re the only Esper who’s lost their family? You have to live twice as hard for them. That’s what everyone does. Everyone carries the weight of someone they’ve lost. If you follow them in death, do you think they’ll be happy? No! They’d be even sadder. Why don’t you get that? Why is it just you who doesn’t understand, you idiot?”

The woman let out a deep sigh.

“You’re so stupid. That’s why you’ve never come here, not even once. And I… God.”

“I’ve always been the only one left alive.”

When Kang I-won muttered those words, the woman let out a hollow laugh before replying.

“And how is that your fault? That’s your ability, not your sin. Why are you blaming yourself for that?”

“……”

Her unexpected words from such an unexpected source gave Kang I-won an odd sense of comfort. Something welled up inside him, and his eyes burned. The lump in his throat made it impossible to speak.

Seeing Kang I-won’s silent struggle, the woman sighed deeply, raking her fingers through her hair in frustration.

“Ugh… I know too, you idiot. Damn it.”

Biting her lip hard, the woman continued.

“I know you couldn’t do anything about it. I know it wasn’t your fault. What could a weakling like you have done in a situation where everything was falling apart? It was Mom who chose to save you, and it was the monster that killed her. Damn it. I know. I know all of this.”

But at the time, she couldn’t bear Kim Seon-young’s death without blaming someone. So, she blamed Kang I-won. It was how she endured, cursing the unfilial child who hadn’t visited even once, until her heart grew strong enough to accept Kim Seon-young’s death.

And now, seeing the unfilial son for the first time in years, she realized he was even more foolish and weak than she remembered. He hadn’t even begun to overcome their mother’s death. What had she done to this pathetic man? She let out a long sigh and rubbed her face with both hands.

“Arghhhhh!”

The woman let out a deep sigh, making a distressed moaning sound, and continued speaking.

“Come again next year. Since you couldn’t come enough to avoid making mom feel disappointed, make sure to visit regularly from now on. Understood?”

Since it seemed like tears would spill as soon as she opened her mouth, Kang I-won just nodded silently.

After the woman finished a brief greeting to Kim Sun-young, she left first. Kang I-won, who stood in her seat and etched Kim Sun-young’s smiling face in her mind, left the late memorial hall only after quite some time.

Then Kang I-won looked at someone who shouldn’t be here, blinking with teary eyes.

“Why are you crying?! Are you crazy? Why are your cheeks like this again! Were you hit? No, who hit you?”

“…I-I’m crying.”

Kang I-won said in a muffled voice. However, Heo Do-kyung, who hurriedly approached, was flustered and tightly hugged Kang I-won. Heo Do-kyung’s large hands gently soothed Kang I-won’s back.

“For now… cry. I don’t know what’s making you sad, but cry for now.”

Heo Do-kyung’s words seemed to act as a catalyst, and the tears that had been welling up in his eyes began to stream down relentlessly.

“Why did you come?”

“You said if I turned it off, you’d chase me away.”

The device’s power had already been turned off. It took considerable time to get to Gwangyang, and recently, it hadn’t been properly charged. Still, coming all the way here alone was extremely dangerous. Kang I-won opened his mouth to say something but fell silent.

In that moment, Kang I-won was glad Heo Do-kyung was by his side. So, without saying anything, he leaned against Heo Do-kyung and let his tears flow.

Heo Do-kyung had given Kang I-won a reason to live, but it wasn’t enough to prevent him from wanting to die. Even when he decided to live by Heo Do-kyung’s side, that was still the case.

However, thanks to Heo Do-kyung, Kang I-won found a reason not to die. He realized that his form of atonement had been misguided.

“Do-kyung.”

“Why?”

“…….”

The words Heo Do-kyung longed to hear still felt unfamiliar and difficult to Kang I-won. So instead of saying what he intended, Kang I-won chose different words.

“…Now, call me whatever you want, comfortably.”

In response to Kang I-won’s words, Heo Do-kyung, who had been gently patting his back at a steady pace, widened his eyes and spoke in a playful tone.

“Alright, I-won.”

At Heo Do-kyung’s brazen reply, Kang I-won burst into a tearful laugh and said,

“Don’t be cheeky.”

“Yes, hyung.”

His natural response made Kang I-won smile involuntarily. Yet, the tears didn’t stop. The guilt he felt for those he had lost would haunt him for the rest of his life. However, he now felt he could finally let go of some of the heavy burdens, making the sense of relief feel awkward and causing his tears to continue flowing.

<Damn My Guide, End of the Main Story.>

TL/N:

🎉 Hey Amazing Readers! 🎉

I’m Bree, and guess what? I’ve just wrapped up my first-ever novel on this awesome website “Lily on the Valley”! 🚀 Even though it’s new, we’re bursting with hope and showering it with lots of love. 💖

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Bree 🌺

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