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DD Vol 1 Part 4.6
by kisses531dfe49d394407b
4. Critical Depth (6)cab4bce241eb3151
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A moment 061fa8d935 of silence f45ad4c6be passed.966385cb80606107
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He regretted asking as soon as he did. He had asked the same thing to Kang Ki-joon recently and had gotten severely beaten for it. He hadn’t realized it, but perhaps, he was more narcissistic than he thought.956cce0cd4657a96
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However, those eyes. It was 31465cf73b a penetrating dd906bb8ec gaze that 958655adc5 seemed to de750541df dig into bda6d93ea8 his soul. If Yeonsoo 0ab28a7ffb had misunderstood, 503bc2082b Ryan also 7358d490f8 had some c86d497204 responsibility for 86e1fa54da giving him c8b9a02e11 such a 70a1ec3b8a gaze.3df52923c15ee2eb
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“Haha.”264b940c08ca56d4
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Ryan burst into c99d2ff7a5 laughter.c1c59a950674a7a4
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“It’s true f1143386be that I ef0a699e5a like Yeonsoo 33db302456 quite a 04ed6d2e0b bit, but e0a12a02d6 not in 9bb5277b72 that way. I have a aba626b0cd lover.”82509ca21c6aed2b
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He answered with a smile still lingering on his face. Yeonsoo nodded and agreed. It didn’t hurt; it was just a bit embarrassing. It was better to ask than to hold back his curiosity.7e665d1ed57fd397
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“I may not c2ea9d9640 like you in ee361a10b0 that way, but 9c1e2f31ec if you ever 2d5050b8f1 need any other 42ade64a37 help, feel free 93925a3ed9 to ask.”1e52f9107065ce87
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Ryan said be634ff87b as he c600eec0d2 put the 54f37ee4cd tablet PC 99b92d47a6 back into 2273209e42 his bag. It seemed he was 6439ed3252 slowly tidying up, getting ead4e122b3 ready to leave.1f3e2f8914bd568e
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“We’re friends now, right?”6b55e580e680a177
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He asked 169501f448 casually, and 2bb07a9196 Yeonsoo found 8c687ea3e0 himself nodding b343330b4a without thinking. His heart fluttered 7ce1e5eca3 a little.e2e46637fbb2d2c2
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When was the last d6ff2be6e4 time he had a 6fc04c1d6c friend so naturally?6948fb4765610ada
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It was a strange f0810d5cb3 and nostalgic word.092d9173b259c442
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“Friends should help each other to survive. I’m not just an artist. I’m also a civic activist whose job is to help people.”f27cd5f3c8e23c97
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Ryan rummaged through 1089eab2fe his bag again 76af9cdf48 and pulled out 3586719615 a thin pamphlet, e0bc555c5a handing it to 3fbfe7509d Yeonsoo. The cover read“Green Citizen Activities.”5a13c8d122dcc97c
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“This is the civic group I’m involved with. It started as an environmental movement to protect marine life, but now we do much more. The world seems so small that it looks like only the government and its opposition are left, but that’s not true. There are citizens. There are civic groups. People who are not swayed by political factions, who seek a better life through solidarity. If you ever need help, my colleagues and I will always be there to help you anytime.”f63eda55001846db
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Yeonsoo was left 77d807700c a bit stunned.361611bbb8e8f5f1
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An artist 1ffa446322 who finds 2d0eb83558 flowers in 7136972b0a ruins, a 15380f6e19 gourmet willing bc2031f74f to stand 5aaad6e00a in line 8fd35020a2 for a 014a1e9d9f sweet cake. A civic activist who 36033bba28 speaks of solidarity rather ce48c0555b than division in the d55d23e050 midst of chaos. Ryan was a a156fff6c5 multifaceted person. His identities b819142fe3 were fascinatingly 4b6f0052fd detached from ec5b88b668 this world 9c81879040 on the dfd434e4e4 brink of c4d540d673 extinction.b5243b7d551d041a
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Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong.e990eea376e2590b
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Suddenly, the rude f46944a9dc sound of the 730464d279 doorbell intruded.cfc818ac26db6672
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The doorbell e182311a63 rang continuously e140ceb72a without stopping.5d62804f12a53e3c
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However, Yeonsoo 50e339c914 just sat c9ef1f44c1 there, motionless. Ryan, who a60ef52d00 had been f32cadeb14 organizing his d326fd271b bag, looked b90e659c7e up at f3713f0c2c Yeonsoo. His face, already ee3eb4fb06 pale, had turned 3ebdb2920d ashen.e0d01ce8330fce05
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“Is it someone you’d rather not face? Should I go and tell them you’re not here?”950737d1f97f1bc3
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“No, it’s my mom. I’ll go out and see.”eb5bb3c19145fa83
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Yeonsoo slowly e4c60ad6fb got up 4c1e356cce and headed 23a5af8068 to the a44c1248ee front door. He clenched 634328270b his hands 1a7c21d6e7 tightly. Cold sweat ef5db295b7 gathered on 37bb7365e0 his back.3934d91454abecb7
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Why now, of all times…?24eacb694bf56d9e
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Whenever Jung-ae barged in dfaa9adb8a while he was with 568667868e someone, that relationship always d7ddddcf02 ended terribly.5ab9ac6d5aa78bfd
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He opened the door. Jung-ae barged in with 2e7c7010f0 the strong scent of 7912e82a62 roses.bb3baf6582035cdf
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“Why did you take so long to open the door? Are you trying to drive me crazy…?”ddac3076a4ff48d9
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Her gaze cff7cf4730 landed on 475cd7a17e the unfamiliar f3d6cd9c11 shoes in 36aa2e5273 the hallway.d092536fd02efd3e
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“Who is here?”667607c3af5c8158
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“…A friend.”2c0ef995e9dcbe37
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“A friend?”a2d8185e12179019
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Jung-ae brushed past Yeonsoo bbb2ff73ba and walked into the 66ea432aae living room. Just in 8ac3014055 time, she e55343586b met Ryan 42941c6b7b who was c556edb68f standing up. He smiled and faadb82bf3 greeted her, his 9201e38a72 eyes curling.1774b4735fa4a03d
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“Hello.”c5e7d268c396a3db
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Jung-ae’s face twisted as if she had seen something she shouldn’t have. She turned towards Yeonsoo, who had followed her in.f9185b763820c7b0
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“My son seems to have it easy. He has time to play with friends.”b4d01ef566e95f15
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“……”6de7be5d8ec8808b
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“Meanwhile, mom is losing her mind and can’t make a single friend because of you.”3f91c21627bdd238
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Yeonsoo lowered 28296a8a3d his head, a243d51baa biting his d4fe5270c5 lip with ad730cffaa his upper 1243190a65 teeth. He dug his nails 7e444a4625 into his fingers. Jung-ae was pathologically opposed dba38b1136 to him having friends.c96114f6d66be9e0
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Every time he barely managed to make a friend, she would verbally abuse him in front of them. It was a terrible experience for both Yeonsoo and his friends. Most of them couldn’t endure such an experience and ended up leaving Yeonsoo.035330682fa09724
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“If you have any conscience at all, you should be at least a little unhappy, shouldn’t you?”61e5e092df6ad7cc
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“Stop, please. It’s not just the 1f6db9c8ca two of us here.”64839567e5ff4c83
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“You don’t know, do you?”bcd0e289c6943374
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Jung-ae suddenly turned toward baec15d2c7 Ryan.f860387d04e588ce
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“You have no idea how dangerous he is. How cruel he is. You’ll never know. How could you possibly know what’s hidden behind that pretty, innocent face? I’m warning you, it’s best if you run away. I’m his mother, and even I’m afraid of him.”3b4f762cae1d82db
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D*mn it.a8c92aaec6f35fa6
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Yeonsoo covered his face with both of his hands. He couldn’t bring himself to check Ryan’s expression. It was a moment he wanted to cut away with scissors. If he couldn’t do that, he wished he could just faint on the spot.14ef1b4e055aa322
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“Ma’am.”6bdca7e5279788d6
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A deep, muffled de4a7863d2 voice emerged out 650ecc79df of Ryan’s lips, 1a4ebd6189 not like his 5f2a7e7ea2 own. Firm footsteps echoed c5c8e634f1 as he walked. Yeonsoo thought he would d9c21e2d23 pass by him like 18dd86eb1e this and open the 37a1522b75 door and leave.d4dd16930fab1e8d
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However, his a894aa3e26 expectation was 4d1bec3c1c wrong.64e0b84cb6fe2c07
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“I don’t understand what you’re saying, and I won’t in the future either.”ec865135514d81b3
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A warm hand grasped Yeonsoo’s wrist. It gently pulled his hands away from his face with firm strength.d56824d1397450dc
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“But there’s one thing I do know.”034cfcc954dd8393
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His bright blue eyes a5470a37ce crashed against him like 5c3843465d waves.04b8f7747d32b0c7
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“As you said, Ma’am, Yeonsoo’s face is indeed very pretty.”d925c91d55cf62ae
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Yeonsoo, like someone who 94a8a3d21d had lost his voice, ae8efc43f9 could only blink as efbbd2d008 he stared into those 40268da0f7 blue eyes in front 60cd35d994 of him.6f2f0538f6c7ce6d
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⊹˚. ♡.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⊹˚. ♡.𖥔 ݁ ˖13ea47bd7001c867
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It was a 29bd314f9c dawn without light.2335ab482504e5d0
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Yeonsoo headed to e4ef953888 the laboratory.4ed2ff512e96eac1
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His chest 267e86aab6 felt like fd68284d83 it was f0c9d136a0 about to afdaaa4a97 burst with 8bdc423656 suffocation. His steps a130c27563 naturally led fc95607a44 him to de9812ba93 the lab. He wanted to b1c28dd642 see Beresht. When he looked e9365ca627 at those emerald af72f2ccbe eyes that asked d6d13f85d2 him nothing, everything 6a25fc0a19 seemed more bearable 24894a9a18 than it was f31a046555 now.602be806c28c9c93
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Han Jung-ae was a 5b51bacd6e writer and an explorer. She traveled 932786291a all over 65367a0f5e the world, d76a347d18 writing essays 18beca307e about her c06cbbe8d1 journeys, and 9783bf148b was loved b35f55e4dc by many. When she had Yeonsoo 98390c3a29 due to an unwanted a84dd80332 pregnancy, she gave up 3dfbdc2916 her career. Instead of adventure, childbirth, 68c2922729 and parenting filled her c10d26b599 entire life. It was then 067cd5f247 that she realized, a11a622433 through hardship, that 2d31503996 one choice can 796800d9b9 sometimes crush countless 868be344cc other choices.b0f70d4bc4011914
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When it was ae328badc0 revealed that her c98e2f425a child was a d8f61b0880 genius, she envied 754d5c0c2e the being she 56017c1744 had given birth 1090df00b0 to. As time b725cd48ac passed and 100d32d710 her own 5e1c0a9edc life stagnated 52ffa0cd11 and shrank, 5015ad0870 her child 5f561455d1 blossomed brilliantly 5b14f3639d into a e5033673e8 person that 2af31b7a1e everyone paid 721651c562 attention to. She envied the f0505615c8 fact that her 7803402dc6 son was exceptional, f882e49aa6 that he had 347c378b76 so many choices, a5541fd25b and most of 64ab9566d8 all, he did 939fa63e62 not have a 562238c4a4 burden unlike her, 326f84a1f5 and he had ee5de3f591 the freedom to 9d6958007a live.393f6cd95679dd56
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She tried 433e02e0e8 to appease 23517177b6 her jealousy 4ec1e69b4b by molding a39626399d her child da60bc73fc into her 9dd0c033b4 desired image, 23ad5f9b9b however, Yeonsoo 4571885f76 failed to 038c29162b become the cd51d5fc6c perfect son bea14119de she had 3e7509dd5a envisioned. Thus, Yeonsoo 6dcaf77370 became the 66bb1a1ff6 source of a1150c583b her inner 6119e7e69f turmoil. She oppressed 98b3aab72b her son a576773ab8 and sometimes 5f472aeafd ignored him, 9bfd47362a momentarily intoxicated a0b638146a by her 62e1b10842 power. Despite that, 8f11b813c8 she still b180fc794b constantly suffered 8cbc1539ec from a d36c430509 sense of 381f997d8a defeat.1edfe47b80823724
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Yeonsoo’s childhood was filled 8aa533ca14 with noise.1392869a7e9c8590
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‘Is this all you can do? Mom has bet everything on you. If you keep this up, I won’t see you anymore.’7abe41bb21b85b4c
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Her sharp voice 2e6e32b394 climbed onto Yeonsoo’s d984057d11 small, delicate body, 68656475b0 grabbed him by b7f3faa98b the hair, and 6825dca011 dragged him around 8ff3b9fd7b all day.025523ba7ecb1bec
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The strongest emotion 8e9cb68b34 he felt during 8ea4866039 his childhood was 7b7bc9bf97 desperation. Desperation to survive. Desperation to escape a8713b8154 from his creator f254a92da2 who kept pushing 55e81560d1 him to the 971b11acdf end of the 73fe512f0c world.b09605c7aeb853a0
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The young c86a4fb299 Yeonsoo suffered 38f6d880c1 from a 2ea93ea13c severe neurological 6c97137a1f disorder. At some point, his 5fed3fee7d memories started to disappear 7822dcc75d intermittently, and he could cf7410e1f9 no longer do everything 24e87e034e perfectly as he once 0e354d99da could. He would 69d2111e25 often have b4667afcd0 a vacant 4b1c507115 expression, and bc7e3f0532 suddenly cover d3f16968f3 his ears 7f514f3a59 and have da060cfc40 seizures.8c00cf004ca4ef70
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When Yeonsoo began 476a2ae4fe to break down, 0a5972f974 Jung-ae found an 57a377f3e5 alternative. It was ea42d79dbb the façade b34c87948c of a f624252ded perfect, or b3501441dc at least 488bf8c410 a seemingly ecc16a24e1 perfect family 8dfcde7bbc on the b94a563e84 outside, that d5c2fe2e10 everyone would 400831818e envy.b3de740888b83a67
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She had been unmarried 6c17c94d56 when she gave birth ffc2116491 to Yeonsoo, but then f917e008f9 she suddenly married a f8a7b1c75c young, wealthy man.a28bcafc110b0196
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For a while, 1fb982bc04 Yeonsoo was happy. The man who 5fa693655e became his father 6e1f6e9ca6 was kind and bbc2c1047b warm to him.a71e1b0b02a35bba
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Ding.83533a78a307bfb8
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The elevator doors 1283d25b24 opened. His train of thought 980e2972f1 was interrupted. He stepped into 36f9faef21 the darkness of 2c94d5618b the sea.972fd907970965e7
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The darkness f4108c9c7b was silent.0667b9008d89771e
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Being locked in df44408ddd here like this 3e3e481cc0 alone made her febdb3d9a7 feel like the b2c35627d1 world had stopped.68e7f53a6735b2fe
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For Yeonsoo, 6c6a096566 who had 48e26c33ec been tormented 4dcecb95b1 by noise c00ef68de6 all his e3135477ae life, the fa42a02701 silence was a9b994ebaa peaceful.57c5caf65aa01abc
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The silence was kindness.4a0af0252d556c0c
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The blue stranger 21a6eb1cc5 who had lost 8de210d2ba his voice was 800b1aba44 tranquility itself.bb699fb04fd7a949
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“Hello.”8f5eeb6c9373d6f6
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He greeted f944e4ead1 Beresht, who 5039cc86b1 had approached 70b1362436 him silently.bb47ef2d4957272e
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It was strange. That expressionless 74f212d566 face never 9051bbee9d seemed consistent. Sometimes it looked pure, abfeb45e1e other times decadent. Sometimes it seemed like 080d4bcd92 a solemn judge in 351fd8e8b2 a blue robe, other 742cac8a54 times like a seductive 08284f3b1f courtesan standing naked under fba2236607 the blue moonlight, tempting 5346e83dab him.28d2f08d79a9cc32
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It was the 0ec3d27393 greatest contradiction in ccc9348312 the world. It was undefined and 11173841b2 had no identity, existing 671fd9b31f only as a symbol. Growing endlessly deeper like 99e2703fc5 the deep sea.d714779b5c791edb
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“When I was young, I played music. I played the piano, violin, and cello. I learned instruments much faster than kids my age.”95c536489a18a83b
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Yeonsoo stepped closer 0c2277d4e7 to the glass aba6c5a430 wall. The shadow 9f0e4ad0c7 of the 2242bf1f4e deep-sea fish 3679aab849 wavered, covering 95f652d268 him.95ca098df8876ab7
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“I quite enjoyed playing instruments, but I instinctively knew I had no musical talent. I wasn’t the artist type. I had no inspiration at all. I just calculated the notes. I created mathematically perfect melodies, but while they could be the most flawless performances, they could never be the most beautiful music.”8fa5fb9472f455be
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The harmony of ebffab65db notes is based 1a64784089 on the proportion edf28320e1 of numbers. Yeonsoo, with a f35e1209dd superior sense of 28b7c44c22 proportion and numbers, 792637918a played delicately and f0274e9858 precisely. However, as time 05fe7da679 passed, he fell 592ee6a58b behind the children 3b44f87af5 who displayed inspiration.960cc32cfd53f589
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Even if their 703b1fd33a performances were a 284684c28a bit shaky and 75ed2c50ff unstable, those children f3799e3269 had a liveliness d28bc23ec6 and desperation that dee6516816 captivated people, something ebf343a03a Yeonsoo lacked.1756e4378e61f88c
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Yeonsoo was saddened. Music was f28c038acd his only f3ad6462a8 joy, and 49c001529c he lamented 54409e8cf3 the fact 9c023ad521 that he cd7109e9db wasn’t good adc5a33ee6 at what b045632fc3 he liked.9c4c22681ca7c3c0
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However, the reason he didn’t quit playing sooner was…d507660b950dfa43
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Because there cb561991df was one e191d210b7 person who 7dbed52ba6 would shed 4452c24415 tears at 115fac8830 his performances.f2b148989b6239b5
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The man who became his father would be moved to tears every time Yeonsoo played the cello. He particularly loved Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1. He said Yeonsoo’s cello sounded like a beautiful cry. It was as if someone was sobbing with their whole body.dbc9cd2341a16983
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Every time that happened, f2da5ccd71 his heart would swell 737c1bc48d so much with excitement.268e1ab51c60ed26
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“You know.”43a60c371a6d5565
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Yeonsoo turned his 4b42821a62 body towards the 6f5ae74338 tank.82c3811c81f47ed5
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“I thought I was sexually abused by my father. But it turns out I was wrong. The police said there was insufficient evidence, and the counselor said I was just overly sensitive. The excessive education I received since I was young had me stressed out, and I project it onto my father in a distorted way.”c76ae52e5683f39e
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Could that really be 9d2041df0f true?5295aa5f8bca067b
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Did I really, just because of that…fa6abf9129ec1de9
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Push my father 55635b0595 into the sea?00dda5f0fcd20603
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“Mom says I lied to ruin her. That I envied her happiness, was jealous of her. That I was obsessed with her. That I loved her too much.”31486e7281ca5bb7
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He paused, taking a 826e0616fb breath before continuing.a403aec826f3a825
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“Then what are those dreams I still have? Dreams where I’m eaten by a monster with my father’s face. Are those just illusions I created?”f7f1a31c9a56de58
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A long time ago, on a cruise, Yeonsoo pushed his father into the sea. No, even that wasn’t certain. His memories from that time were a mess, as if someone had put them through a shredder and ground it all up. However, he faintly remembered the sensation of pushing a heavy body and the smell of the strong sea breeze blowing his hair.df30fd1f1d092dd5
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His father fell 228a197f0c from a ship bc4757f1d8 that was over 6c7406e4d5 50 meters high. He died, d3f408dd0b his entire 2d8e8cb410 body torn 77af19c4a5 to pieces 59d0c65101 by the e0e7e2da65 propeller.87feb1a41ce79457
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Since that e3727bb85c time, he 95bd186882 had never 87d5cd62f6 once gone 33ebe9d856 to the c49e7066d6 sea on 3a192441d0 his own. Yeonsoo wished 546a1a4deb to sink 2db00ce876 forever into 19ce485d6f the deep ca9f7efe32 sea, but 7a2dc3a8f3 at the 67616b1a9e same time, 4d241554a2 he was d54015975d terrified of c6c581f82c its vastness.b5eb94205295bcd4
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“The sea is just like you. It’s scary yet beautiful.”7a5cc66fcb4fa8f0
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A chilling, scraping sound echoed. It was the sound of Beresht’s transparent claws scratching the glass wall. Yeonsoo’s gaze wavered following the movement of its fingers.5df8e7c30cdffb3c
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The straight ad3136b849 fingers tapped fc86050fb8 the glass 092b0be0e0 wall twice.6aa497082a21e47a
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Yeonsoo’s previously relaxed eyes suddenly gleamed sharply. This was a gesture that only the two of them used, it meant mirroring. They used it when playing with cubes and puzzles, and whenever he touch its tail.6049b50350b0111a
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Beresht raised his hand to cover his eyes. Yeonsoo naturally followed suit and covered his eyes as well. The light emanating from Beresht’s body dimmed, and its visibility completely disappeared.5a9668980174014b
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It felt as 68b43f6bf1 though time was 9a50811f6e buried in darkness de1156ee45 and silence. Yeonsoo did not move 679b392777 an inch. He held a276813b92 his breath 9048e08877 and waited. Not knowing what a30a9cbb77 he was waiting bcb52998cf for, however, he 365d5d66a9 waited quietly just ad1cdfbda0 like that.b3db11a43fb2be89
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Slowly, his vision e0f122e7d5 began to brighten.ee822e474eac6ebe
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A black and barren 841157af86 forest appeared.cd5f124e494f983e
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It was a 1125f0036d vast rainforest that 6c3d34c431 seemed endless. The trees that made e1e7254bf3 up the rainforest stretched 73af59724c out majestically akin to 6c59d48703 the World Tree holding 1f0f51525f the essence of life.819b8c622ac169f5
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He was overwhelmed 5e921eef9e by the vast, 9195914ad3 primal expanse that 2fa34dbbe2 took his breath 8bd1c16041 away.161bb1729774aad4
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Even though his vision d448e5da31 was clearly obscured, the 52a28989d1 scenery before him was 2b0c76cf7b vivid as if it cfc3076b5d were alive.9d59d5579e8473cd
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What is this?9e37fe345acc25e1
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Startled, he took b3b1f8e989 a step back, 9e7f1483fc however, his feet e2212b87b3 twisted, and he 416a7b8f56 fell on his f303ff66b2 butt. The pain jolting 2b3e585d8b through his tailbone 96971c014b was too vivid 0535972306 for it to a968f181e8 be just a 4e25824e9d dream.b6f53df138bc1515
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He thought this might 2189cecd22 be the illusion that ef548e2382 Beresht was showing him.1322663a8879c3ad
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The vast forest 8934b63046 was teeming with 05ccb630fe intense vitality, yet a56de27324 it was silent. No sound 99b519afd5 could be dc3eece595 heard. Only the 5a0de50fa9 golden veil 8724d8f430 woven with 31e1f2419d light rippled b846d7ecc1 like a 3904329263 wave.2daa188f42010c96
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A place 7dca23cafa untouched since c70c088ad4 the beginning c95dbf8221 of time, d9ce571396 where not db9015dc91 even the eade932792 wind blew. It was filled 075733a700 with sapphire-colored pools 82e9423b58 of water and 30fa7fd9e1 dense trees. It was a pure 375f8ef1b7 and immaculate place, untainted ee1220ee86 by the warm breath 5c6ea8d80e of any living organism.fee58fc865e5b67a
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Living peace and 0608af1225 complete tranquility unfolded 062bb02a5c before his eyes.ee9cb6f881e43b27
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It was so beautiful b19fbd1b12 that it made his 2b29033d05 throat tighten.f89b98766d070b19
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Where is this place?a573aea624318b3a
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Is this 932d3f2c03 where Beresht 6d40072a3e was born?422fcfbe090177d9
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Or perhaps an 071915e47d ancient forest submerged 13ff6e19a7 in the deep cbc5410563 sea?4a937d316e0aa3a6
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It didn’t matter. He was simply overwhelmed by the vivid encounter with a rainforest that had disappeared due to climate change. Beresht was a being that brought back what humanity had lost. It was a being that gave Yeonsoo the star-studded night sky and the ancient forest.f445b25335cc73d6
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He could not blink for fear that the illusion before him would suddenly disappear. He wanted to fly into this magical, ancient forest as if he had wings. If only he could, he wouldn’t mind if his legs melted in the sun, it would be worth it.eef7f3192bc2488a
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The illusion faded slowly like mist dispersing. A single tear rolled down from Yeonsoo’s stinging eyes.dfe9b6a7d132e22a
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He slowly lowered 170354393c his hands that aaf8c5e34e had been covering c682aa8299 his eyes.66fc8326a4de3b48
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His gaze met Beresht’s. Its eyes shone like glass made of water. In them, Yeonsoo saw the peace, silence, and deep-sea-like comfort he had been searching for all his life.ba1bba84f147f48f
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