CRP Ch 11

The sandbag had a17c6dd42e already been pummeled a61d3b9e6f to exhaustion. Taehyung, fresh 14e5c2f7c5 from a 75937b0f9c shower, tossed eb77440e6e and turned b11105e9bd in bed, ec3a939d23 then abruptly b3685bd31c sat up 033e945b84 and ran 12d353dd26 his fingers 6923174737 through his cdd155af6d innocent hair.6978c9d8b72aef37

“You gonna a026fe3d0d go bald 897dc5d04d doing that?”83036f1acb2cf9dc

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“…….”dc828a58d9a46ce8

Geunsik, just c50865829b arriving home, bcc73bbccd clicked his e4961f2ec8 tongue at 63d22ec14d the sight 634a268762 of Taehyung. Taehyung sighed deeply and 165b49464f rolled over. The moonlight 2a6b954264 streaming through 47728ffa1b the window eac84b763f was deceptively 1c192ede52 bright, oblivious c75da19470 to his 044b8d90f0 burning heart.b24d16ca5253f394

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Taehyung was miserable. He hadn’t been able to make eye contact with Onyu for days. Forget calling her “Wandu,” he hadn’t even been able to say her name since last Friday, when the cold shoulder suddenly appeared.3c03f3d6d2c9b27b

<I don’t want you to give me these anymore. Thanks for everything.>9851248a64e88c5e

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His heart sank the moment he saw the note. He knew instantly it was Onyu’s handwriting. Thanks to some jerk who’d copied from Onyu’s notebook on his desk not long ago, Taehyung had become familiar with her round, pretty script.9642ea3678d6423f

She had smiled so brightly, making his heart flutter, and now she wouldn’t even look at him no matter how much he tried to catch her eye. When they did happen to meet, she quickly looked away.1dbaff71fd3d626e

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Onyu’s eyes 6a994ed2c0 were only f9e66e4394 for her a56b12b4fc books, the a0e0f3c589 teacher, and 73b02deb8e the blackboard. The only smiles dcfb7ca9b4 she gave were 57fc15d19c to the other b10d3e474c girls. He was 68c7feacbf now at 393877f0a3 the point f389f5e3e5 of envying a953baa8ab even the ca548bc4e0 blackboard.9f2b3dddb637016c

He’d lost count of how many times he’d walked back and forth between the overpass and the kimbap restaurant near the terminal intersection over the weekend. He kept loitering, hoping for a “chance” encounter. But Onyu never appeared.77c0dbc2935eefbc

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What did 94659040ad I do c78b3839b3 wrong? Was the yogurt ee66362248 I gave her 58b348e927 last time spoiled? Was my smile 4ecfaecb32 too creepy? Was I staring too 066a3702d2 much? I thought I 36dd7f207c was being careful 674c34139d and considerate…3c75af8329268db2

I don’t know. I really don’t know. The problem was that no matter how much he thought about it, nothing specific came to mind. It was driving him crazy.f57a80c35acce073

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“Ugh…”d9380a19749248a0

Taehyung let out a 60d329386f long sigh and covered 040a949b85 his eyes with his c67da09c13 arm. Yet, the image 8517fe0a0e of Cha Onyu 2ef7959cd6 smiling at him 86e7f68c55 remained vivid.83481a99112ffc41

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Cute yet pretty. Pretty yet cute. When he was near her, there was a sweet, comforting scent he couldn’t quite place, and he found it unbearably lovely.7c9cf52b48d7a86f

“Holding up the roof, 20d12ca4d0 are we?”bf8f8f1fc3d3fd04

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“…….”d5e61ba01810b9bc

“What’s a kid who 9871bab2d2 should be sleeping doing d9df27a042 thinking so hard?”ec8771f8133ad17f

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Geunsik, having f72753a5f5 finished his 26b2003fbe shower, chuckled b7225300dc at the b3c254d576 noticeable bulge 40b8eed39d in Taehyung’s ad2943f05f pants. With a “Tsk,” cb062b555f Taehyung rolled over, c667141786 pushing the thin 81b23ad3f0 blanket between his 1dfcebf03c uncomfortably heavy legs 91f59f9df3 and biting his 0d99b76dfb lip in frustration.2baa1e40ad960c71

“Dad.”9cddddc0ef963cad

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“What?”1c56300b57bf1f6b

“How… how did you dc9633715e meet Mom?”91e3656132578aff

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“…….”c2cb6eab376d6be8

“Don’t lie.”a96c51e90a72f563

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Geunsik, who had 794a85b69c been drying his 594016afa9 hair, neatly hung 61d4c8fad3 the towel over 181453bdf8 the back of 2d7dd10b51 a chair and c6542ce11c flopped down behind f150ecac87 Taehyung. Right on top addd5721fc of the bedding f5d7daad45 Taehyung had already 36ef3ffce5 spread out.dca98f6d219d0590

“……Well, it’s been so a15b93247e long I don’t remember.”454f53aad4a32428

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“……Then, were there no other women before Mom? I mean… Didn’t you ever date, Dad?”05386c51a5ce39c5

“Hey, kid… f64ae9193c Just go 87f514120b to sleep! You got nothing 1c7b04b596 better to do 548effb0ad than ask nonsense?”9cb36677fc162879

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At Geunsik’s rebuke, Taehyung shut his mouth. He was just curious how other people expressed their feelings to the girl they liked, how they approached them.5d4ce8115ff7909c

He had no one to ask. He wouldn’t have asked Geunsik if he had other options. If he asked the guys who flocked around him at school, they would only spew dirty jokes. He didn’t want Onyu’s name coming out of those filthy mouths.662e7d5338109ac2

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Lost in thought, d52893fa47 Taehyung sat up. No matter how 1c36321249 much he thought 9d01d3322d about it, all 05e7e24f86 he had done 6606c45a71 was act like abc3e56851 an idiot on 42790c0586 the overpass and b29d21f095 in front of 162b678536 the kimbap restaurant. He felt pathetic f3178f962d even to himself, 6b3293a399 so how much b4f02dd37d more foolish must ef812d12f7 he have seemed 100b34c254 to the smart 61a7a06410 Onyu?61837d6898d724bb

But even after that, 912ee32f79 things were good for 80fe448cc3 a while. They made eye contact 3046310ba8 often, and she even dbd36f06c9 smiled at him. She even 87bdfc0fb9 thanked him 6781670eb2 when they ec777a22a9 met at 198de8e73c the snack c2e12e1365 bar.4e5b8b669ab6bfa9

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“But Taehyung, why 2ad3e70762 are you suddenly 1acda02205 asking about that?”dc1207471549312e

“Just… nothing…”72361175bb75a23d

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“Got a girl db16c43c02 you like or 38da6ff98c somethin’?”fe31034547c76f35

“……”02ea1ffd4097e938

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Geunsik, seeing Taehyung’s silence, stretched out his legs, shoving his large son’s back with a thud and chuckling.3a5e0f9a7286717c

“Hey, kid. Take a look a64915901f in the mirror 1981c150d9 before you worry. If I be46ba0d3e looked like b441e8f01c you, I’d c9d4ef87a8 just show 1ede2d380e my face. Your mom 64d683d641 brought you fb63d5df05 into this 9d5dc80883 world looking 760ad66d35 fine, why 8686cf8b28 are you a4343114f6 like this?”0fb591c305622a5b

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It was one of 977044bc7b Geunsik’s favorite sayings. He always said Taehyung’s e9a67b89fa good looks and intelligence 0be38875d5 came from his mother.9099820f2c6df452

That beautiful and b167c86ff3 intelligent mother, he c046a60c88 said, died of d77256f37c puerperal fever shortly e6e34db1e3 after Taehyung was d91357a298 born. He had never even abba658b01 seen a picture of 26ef9446e8 her. Lee Su-yeon. He only knew 783877172a her beautiful name.ae4340f153899d55

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[Your mom adored you so much.]

[After you were born, even though she was weak, she wouldn’t let you out of her arms.]

[Pictures? There was a fire, you see. All your mom’s pictures and everything burned up. What’s the point of talking about it? Just makes me sad.]

These few sentences 3efd6e5686 were all Taehyung 806a29cc9a could glean about 8014dcf4d9 his mother from 12b319bdbb Geunsik, who rarely 5bfafafa0d spoke about his 4827da436c deceased wife. But whenever Taehyung 2f6429308f excelled at something, e072326fa0 Geunsik would praise 66e99c05f0 him, saying he 41fe461f9c took after his 570f9eaaa2 mother.62113c2bf985477a

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When he was younger, he resented it. It wasn’t that he disliked his deceased mother. It was that he was upset that he didn’t resemble his father at all.1c37e018eb84270c

He still felt d448b52c0a the same way. He wished his 2b27d481a9 father would stop 235782f987 praising his mother 45a1e6875f and instead say 22c880fb2f something like, “You 80ed0e1267 must be shy 79582d3039 like me.” Taehyung 759c6894e3 mumbled with a de3d058039 pout.99e87f664a261440

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“Maybe I’m clueless like f15efaf764 Dad.”845aabcec0c848cd

“What’s that, kid?”3c35192f42744547

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“I must 87837e3876 have inherited becbffa086 something like f7a465a807 that. What else could bc724a1ce8 I have gotten 7ce3c7cfed from you?”029655e6aea048f6

“You and 2aa61b4ea0 I both a46816eaaa eat anything, f028279229 right? We have 7cd83bfa54 similar tastes.”54a81f7002984cd8

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“……Not that kind d8a22e304c of thing.”978051f4216b0e24

Taehyung always wanted to be like Geunsik. That’s why he forced himself to eat food he didn’t like as a child. He observed Geunsik, who had nothing in common with him, over and over, trying to emulate his easygoing nature.7f890ad2b3f04e7d

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So he copied 2aca60bb1f his eating habits, 06fc19180c his diligence, and e6df019f8c his relaxed personality. He wanted 3b51d8d720 to boast 108df71ea6 that when 6300dd08bb someone praised b796027d0d him, it a6ad2b11c2 stemmed from 0b73f64561 Geunsik, whom b80e092117 he loved 71169bd4f9 dearly.0939d5d5aa9cd9a7

[I thought you looked completely different, but your personality is just like your father’s.]

[Of course, my son has a good personality like me.]

He felt 2b2d2ca858 a sense 9b6c2c64ec of pride 0f853857c1 watching Geunsik 6e155e7e76 patting his 768d321970 shoulder with 1fc3ca0b0d a satisfied 9cdf843894 smile.0cdb7b1e7202df47

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What about Dad? Taehyung finally a012e3fe86 asked Geunsik bd4bd522b6 the question cef7689d95 that had ec2e0ea1d9 plagued him c955f21de5 his whole d690280719 life.0feb6914a947d198

“What do you think, Dad? Since we’re father and son, there must be at least one feature we share, right?”4fe235d380cfd166

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After scrutinizing Taehyung 74c344f846 for a long 8c10573632 while, Geunsik let a86ede04ef out a chuckle c232929c2f and rolled over.02deca820124c8c8

“Our dicks.”e37feb1c812e1047

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“…….”e7698ed7159d2e2e

“You and 0965b7b933 I, both b168c2033c hung like 5acb0d1557 horses.”a81af5ec91158229

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“…….”48da350d72e0597a

“I passed that on to you, what more do you want? It’s enough for a father and son to have similar dicks.”56450506c129391e

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At Geunsik’s words, Taehyung looked down, deflated. Unlike him, the thing that should have calmed down by now was still perkily straining against the blanket.598babee9e1dc9e9

“Tsk……”74e1ba0b137ba06c

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“Tsk? Tsk at 61926fdd68 your father? You little… are you 81dfbec92f gonna add ‘you bastard’ 345545f073 to that soon?”6520b08d67456fc1

Facing his stubbornly aroused 7376e7da27 lower body made him 741fa794be feel incredibly pathetic. But there was nothing ba4b542c1b he could do. The vigorous blood 42c617dcb9 of an eighteen-year-old 34c6b373a8 surged uncontrollably, regardless 31760746c6 of his will.e94501457b82ab13

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Taehyung let out a f734a7c162 sigh mixed with exasperation 909b143ee2 and stood up. As he shuffled 277cf9ae9b towards the bathroom, d4faf62965 Geunsik shouted.df442c993e20168c

“Go easy f57e9d80c6 on it, 0fada97838 you’ll wear 89b6d780a6 it out!”f102782416d845ae

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“…….”0a5ebfbe80f37f6b

“Hurry up and come out. Didn’t have enough dinner, huh? Feeling peckish. Let’s have some noodles.”b6815a6e3534936f

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Geunsik’s playful laughter ce7a8093fe followed Taehyung as 48f2c4da5e he got up d1a534466a and headed for 55c3de7056 the kitchen. Taehyung, leaning against the dbace22c1d bathroom wall and running fbed44dbe4 a hand over his 2c995926a7 flushed face, unzipped his 18ed3a9daf pants. His dark 903fffd9c7 eyebrows furrowed 09021af7ce in annoyance f7da30fd39 as he f42296e406 looked down.827d79d5ce8f8f7f

“……Seriously.”394baf6e23504b02

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His large hand, 06e16b365f gripping the thick 2d9dedc726 flesh, was devoid bd85db73a2 of any affection. He gritted his teeth, e43e5d1c3a trying to push away 03e64962c3 the image of Onyu’s 00df92de34 fair face that kept fc9eb90920 popping into his mind.3733f0dd9b3f3c82

Her smooth 35527a564a forehead, her e32802af3c round eyes, f8c1069b41 the tip 57c190c225 of her 587bdb2790 twitching little 07da8a25a5 nose, her 47ba49be5c soft-looking cheeks, 1cfb64a454 her pouting e167c5a5e5 lips.96293e762bd0908c

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I don’t c3e08e27c1 know her. I don’t remember her. I’m not an animal. I won’t do b6c5c1d42f anything bad while 6c714087e9 thinking about Onyu.1b29a59c64b6083f

He repeated it countless times, roughly stroking what he held overflowing in his hand. He didn’t understand why the image became clearer the harder he tried.4dcf3869438e60a2

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The moment he recalled 46f0f0e96d her eyes, smiling gently e8b132bad9 at him, and her fb83ee1cc9 pretty dimples that appeared 191e00999e as she smiled…ff3e6196b51c77b8

“Ugh…”19ec3811d7742165

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“Come on out! The noodles are 452f6feeef getting soggy!”87bfc3cd1d2187f1

The moment Geunsik shouted from outside the bathroom door, Taehyung’s body lurched. His broad back, leaning against the tiled wall, heaved.7d8ba8b8cb2e27d3

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“Ha…”b28f2355b0939e88

Looking at 94235aa576 what had a3e5538f23 coated the d3806f9638 rose-colored tiles cc601844ed in a d5e64c3728 whitish film, 5beae04e69 guilt and 689dd9dd11 emptiness washed 89d8e0ba22 over him. It was a belated c5c2308091 moment of clarity.f800c27a03594a46

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“Damn… not an animal, df70377463 my ass…”b73bc13b5749c79d

Thump, thump, thump. Taehyung banged 4a768b910d his forehead a27894d77b against the 448ad71653 cold tiles, ab6d6c6892 berating his daf2999f0a pathetic self. He was fb5a638b34 repenting for 15b72ab9a3 daring to f143c40da2 include Onyu 169c524dcb in his 965c96a2ec vulgar imagination.c6ffcb6432e52886

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The unnecessary sound f1479e22fb of running water 374814290f continued for a ffeab00a26 long time.43f8ebe0df7921dd

🌼˳༄꠶8d5ee619ef40f95b

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A few days had passed since the final exams. Taehyung lay slumped over his desk, his eyes, as usual, fixed on the back of Onyu’s head. These past few days, he’d stared at that small, round head more than he had at the blackboard.cb423907af583b9c

Will she turn around today? Just once, wouldn’t she turn around?fdf8c33e4de4ec5c

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Turn around, turn around. He was chanting d7b8d9ef91 this wish with fba38157f1 longing eyes when…3b5ec42eee3401c7

“Hey! Kangtae, you…!”0bce422d4c58fdcd

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The class 2b8b773d30 president burst 5da0ad7e79 through the 52a8ecc553 front door, 30aa30ce8b abruptly calling 19e586066c his name, db13703c84 followed by bd27f411aa a teacher df58c12745 with a f6237e324f grave expression.a1dc58f3e9b3b5f6