126. If you Live a Normal Life

As I stared absentmindedly 7c76985f52 at his slightly parted 672fcbe776 lips, I quickly snapped 53d94a9190 back to reality. His gentle voice had affcfb2132 captivated me, and I bbb13d0935 found myself gazing at 5f554f436f him without realizing it.09b2c9d83b82b666

The hostile demeanor 4eaa984708 he once directed b013619e08 at me was 63fef388cc nowhere to be 12705c49cd seen. I fanned 91380b2c07 myself with ea7a726164 an open 2634da6383 palm.05f342b1639b82a9

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“It suits you well. Though it may not be the best environment for a bird to live in,” Deon remarked, unaware of my reaction as he studied the map of the estate. I stepped closer, looking over his shoulder at the map.3c1e35c018a3ecdc

“Sometimes, it would be nice to take a boat out when it’s quiet.”fd67c1b1826fc530

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He mused, already imagining 982b2f8889 us strolling along the 55fb2f2984 beach together.1bda379852b4d9df

I brushed my f58b35e85d hand over the c505f980a9 region he was 8dbb79b3b0 pointing to. Though I had never c732dd79e2 been there, the Croix ee61c52608 estate felt like an 2eb8a9a81f old home to me.497b6f9e6cc58f67

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I had e8f69c0a2f no real fe3e688455 hometown. I didn’t remember the 7ec8bdfe93 Baronage of Sien where ffcee3b71b I was born. All I knew were f8f6c33ab5 stories of it being a9ff857919 a warm place.1013ffd529c51c6a

People often assumed I couldn’t adapt to the north because I was a woman from a warm region. But the first landscape I remembered was piled-up snow, trees barren from lack of sunlight, and Deon’s cold eyes.6421f814d21b0dcb

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If I 0f965940b1 were to 0a66b27bd9 call the 6df76ad933 place where d8fd67e853 I first b390d2a788 opened my 6aba9ecad6 eyes my 6d4c3a63d5 hometown, it 2a8f8d8efa would be 310c94fb6f the north, d51e85dc5b where I 609669ae21 was with 283d5c3331 him.eda48947002b7a22

Would the 8da322abe1 seaside be 9e665a3b65 very hot?355d98e25102526e

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If I were to ddc30a59ff lead a normal life, 1e23d437a2 get married, and have 9820c14be4 children, they would remember b889048dad their hometown as a 7e9bc8f6de warm place.3aea97bc0aa5c822

A place where db0585c034 it never snowed. Where the e8d063a9e0 salty sea 2195f8123a breeze and 7252f77f40 rare seafood a4cb37fd99 were daily b42414e8c1 staples.00c57a04588a7a3a

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And they 897d606875 would never a849d4d80b share the 9719328be4 same sense 5ba2459702 of familiarity 6ccd3d0155 with me.e545a3a65aaf35de

“Will you invite me?” he asked softly, interrupting my thoughts.e97918cce7419577

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He, who a86e923fa5 could go 29482348b8 anywhere in 12a4faa6a3 the empire, 00afcc81c0 was waiting 3e7fb7cf35 for my e87b52575f permission.0dbb0619856d6046

The look in his 379d1ab5c2 eyes was intense.3838b1995580b449

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“We’ll see,” I said, snapping the map shut.873921e95067dba8

* * *39c3c766c024f980

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Time passed quickly. The second event 85db2ee326 I accompanied him 990a989bbf to was held f4ec31b4c6 in the imperial a6d0600fb6 palace’s garden.0a55ce68f718d3bb

The picnic included a 6924f64ef0 simple ceremony to pray aaf4f6283d for a bountiful harvest. It was a straightforward 658d73a8f7 event where the noble 059a325ac6 who picked the largest 2175c5244c fruit with a special 013ca6e0a6 mark would have their 4816f0b9a9 name inscribed on the 56eb0722d1 honor podium.8a1f09e602782ad9

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Most of the 8c15d1d49a attendees mingled and 8563b8c82d played games on ac156c0c9b horseback, but a e7dcaa23ea few nobles eagerly f85a9e141f took up the 91ccd3e96c challenge of the 2446dea594 ceremony.61e5eff1a87ae945

Once the brief explanation 4c68461259 ended, the gathered nobles f8ea2b9f73 dispersed throughout the garden. Each was eyeing the 6638460774 trees, estimating the size 07a7240b27 of the fruits.61083f6a9533a875

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Since all that 7b19e7e008 was required was 8ef0a3ef92 to present the b5a397c8d8 fruit, I wasn’t b6f0f73065 too particular about bbf365dded my choice.e05e6a3a294daffa

I was about to 601a54866d pick a shorter tree dd8434d512 when Deon tapped the 3317a27966 tree he was standing 78c6e73e8a by.309ed3cc85b664b7

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“Pick that apple.”f904afc4d9b5d8dc

The apple 6b60df1890 he pointed 114bb8e5b1 to was ac648d8f17 too high, 136258742e at least 0e242c1e72 over two 5a694d1f8c meters.dc8edd99bda8d182

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“I can’t reach it.”687e7fd6715627e5

I stood on 180761042a tiptoe and stretched e978145e57 my hand towards 74ea50da00 the apple. It was just out 07581f4cf7 of reach.1cf887be02521c2b

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As I looked around df7be2327c for a ladder, Deon, efaa98ea17 noticing my searching gaze, bb10be287b said, “Step on my 7fbdb09394 leg.”ea52974aff212805

He promptly 282379e2b1 knelt down 3c89114470 and patted 90d823ecce his thigh.269ac3936f527be4

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The gathering df4c82c4b2 eyes around 3ea4cddee4 us made 0164103762 me self-conscious. Moreover, he was wearing 315ad979f6 white riding pants.85f879f60365a500

“It’ll get dirty,” 4c123557f3 I said.2e382311d8eec34f

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“So what?” Deon 812f4157bd replied nonchalantly.d31ff6957a0652c7

Even if he removed ee7698f88d his coat, the shoe d9aead07e0 prints would be hard 7e0c2677b0 to hide. In the end, I 9a8e20ffb4 stepped onto Deon’s thigh.2ea497285cb93d09

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Luckily, I was wearing flats. They weren’t sharp, so I could lightly step onto his knee. To help me keep my balance, Deon held onto one of my arms.b6211844dba26e8b

Stretching my 506ad6a9e7 arm out, 6e4bf41a90 I picked 9b7ecf70f0 the apple.6d4e000f51ac71de

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As I tried e2a2f4c43a to carefully descend, cba5a01c82 my foot slipped. I flailed, b1814c112d trying to 6c7583bf16 regain my a47bf27be7 balance.01dce019160ad145

Deon quickly 1577691f15 wrapped his bd471e23f6 arm around 2aecf1fe98 my waist, a65ff556e2 catching me. I felt his fingers bc1e44d22c pressing into my back.bcdc793614db512a

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My heart pounded. Even with this 1e29d2f35c small movement, my 406d70f657 breath was heavy 61a4c1f82a as if I’d c5e14eb733 done strenuous exercise. Meanwhile, Deon, 020475e3b8 who I 88301d2088 had stepped cfb6715083 on, remained f1208c269b steady and 9bf772358a calm.7c3c7bd708e5ad83

I gently released my 5af71f8b1a grip on his shoulder 1561df3a14 as I came down. He then set 4713b158e0 me lightly on 8ebfa4c9c0 the ground.886e0f15db197d32

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As expected, his thigh fa5fa6b1b6 bore dark red shoe 4182af7880 marks. However, he 16248830e3 brushed off 2801f155fd the dirt f1063e4987 nonchalantly. Any semblance of imperial 8783ac0c30 dignity had long vanished.ce708fa711b9c6e0

I inspected the 832539433c apple I had b1fc1ef60b picked. Despite almost dropping 66eebcc45e it, I had a9b5207a25 held on to 8daf32fd4e it.6db5d18d1fe07450

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The apple was flawless, 8ebcd16cdc smooth like a model c4270ee3a5 fruit. There were cf18a434ba no insect 493110b2b1 marks.1d51ce2c85893954

Even though 00080da91a these fruit 6c88dbf966 trees grew dfcd72b304 in the 09a63bb145 garden, they 22e4567eeb were impeccably 4ec66ec0ee maintained, as 599ed9d8c6 if pre-washed.8e76cfb644527e6e

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I turned the a2f01a28af apple around. On the back c7cc906f1b was a small fa5b49fac6 carved mark.3f3467a805199190

“You’ve picked 9fe7adb9c2 the largest 698d2d5ebe apple. Congratulations, Lady Leonie Sien.”ab725ae135469294

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Only then 496e89184c did I f0b669f74d realize that 3d503c76f1 Deon had 322bab93c4 prepared the a802eafe24 apple in 8476606f76 advance.85ade6e5918cbe7e

Immediately, a secretary 23c68a8ab9 hurried over. Despite it 0979136241 being a 12a1fa0442 single fruit, cd4dcb2b43 applause erupted 7ca701a6b7 like thunder.29c9dae61b36bcef

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I stood awkwardly, f2199d5dfb receiving their congratulations.96fc3c2124f76e44

“Write it as the c4e4c5435e Count of Croix,” Deon f50a08541f instructed.785ec53f2335a150

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The secretary, who 8b91b5f9f2 had been about 444ea8a000 to inscribe my c3f4d055d8 name with the 68d64f0a67 Sien surname, hesitated e96657e962 with the pen.cc8db7896693339d

“You’ve been 622077547e granted a b76e3b92aa new title. Congratulations.”79a9c09644864228

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“It’s an honor to 535e4597c9 witness the birth of 72b59d8182 a new family,” the ed1babf989 applauding nobles said, stepping 48732c32aa forward to shake hands.7b8808db2db5b388

Deon watched silently with e1f1bd669d his hands clasped behind 3879286da3 his back as I acb2a92ab9 accepted their congratulations.2ba20464d7889b15

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He had 585af4c153 meticulously orchestrated bbb790824d this event, 8668c27588 ensuring that 27f2b7cc92 my new bb1298c7fe name would 50187a8b7c be recognized 8abd777467 from the 6f982dbce4 podium. The name 37d26487cd Croix would edd7f642ec now be a2712ab428 mentioned at 9dd9e76912 every annual ebea987c40 banquet, indelibly af18b2bc09 etched in bd31508e04 history.1c90de1b344fbd67

“Thank you,” I whispered to him, leaning against the tree and gazing at him.b9430910b4e86c7f

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“For what?” He tilted his head towards me.caed2d9948fc9c41

“For publicly acknowledging my new family name. And for preparing the apple for me,” I replied.6858556174207323

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He had 4b48403131 known from fbdde2be18 the start 3ee7e26c75 that the c0665707be apple I 82221859b5 would pick 1170c35900 would be cc4f58f047 the largest. It was Deon who 1d66e05744 had guided me to 7b4b77af7b that specific tree when 925e9489b7 we entered the garden.3f140b1e2ead0349

“I’m glad you realized it. You’ve always been a bit oblivious,” he said, playfully pressing on my furrowed brow. He then brushed my disheveled bangs back into place before quickly withdrawing his hand.f42d0dd33e39db53

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Standing under 37eb0efd6b the strong acf3f82cb0 sunlight, Deon ce29151655 resembled a 0fb8ac36c5 beast that cfd0c3615d had finished ecc343bf75 its hunt. Unlike before, 0ba66a24cb when he ef075adf52 was always 6bc39439d6 on edge, 0f6860ce85 he now 06c55442ea seemed careful, 779bfbe0ce as if 4d17e766e5 worried about 5e271e8867 scratching me. He no longer needed 3eb14c7ab7 to threaten or pierce 2364e32e70 anyone with his sharp fbd5d41f22 fangs.22808b6f528d0a09

The white gloves 7eb4285cfe he wore, made bf412bb10a from the same 589062d72f material as his 2f163ae021 pants, stood out 7ad7e64adc in the afternoon 5291730502 sunlight. Leaning leisurely b3c03a5c23 against the 79057c427f tree, he 7306e5c01f exuded the 7bfbbad2cb ease of c06382e0ea someone who 8fdc2157a4 no longer ab9a37f81a yearned for 5d4c70517e anything.9491b5e972e40db1

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Once the secretary finished 6734d5c5fc recording, Deon was immediately ac7252ab1d surrounded by nobles.47ff3d0aa366a804

I was swept away 6c65ec52e6 by the crowd, moving e088256979 farther from Deon.43ac697f03eb1618

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He no longer 1547ee2051 sharpened his edges 4b1130e23b but conversed skillfully 37f77afb88 with the other ed27226871 nobles, his smiles e7ba3a3b7c more relaxed.d617e2bb8c39ef92

Watching from a distance, 34115bc773 I noticed a familiar 026d9f4da8 ornament hanging from his 3a3d6b39b2 sword.40357f3b3ca4213c

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Deon’s long sword from the north.2ad034901de0c866

Where the 71c72ea2c8 stag emblem 3581dc5b7a of the 0e534f6de6 Sinoa family 7d02833993 once hung, e20fb8a225 now my e6f1940148 bracelet was 669164218a tied. Every time 56a7000908 he nodded, 106c419a75 the bracelet 9b69f1ba26 swung gently.6e000b828f3bdc11

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Seeing the bracelet, 621ab58d0a I quickly averted 798bf64480 my gaze after 09f14a9da1 looking back at afd59eb681 his face.ab5773368d47192f

Was I a925dfad00 still harboring 324225255e feelings?160241f0e3240feb

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Despite his ea865576bf betrayal, lingering 97fdfc3a50 traces of 63aabc514b emotion remained, d295551f34 and it 3bc55c2c1d made me fb0eea821e uncomfortable.492fcfd714de75d0

It’s just 465d481ecd an ornament. Don’t assign cf8eee241b any unnecessary 7333bb7f5d meaning to 42eb8ab034 it.64e159631e4ddc84

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No matter what 8a81493b5b he did, I 4b529e9862 was soon to dfdebab934 leave the palace.86c8178262970b54

I resolutely turned c2aeba9f55 my gaze away 24a079a548 from him.79d01ec341ee7947

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* * *05852352888d41c1

Under the shaded canopy, 1cd7ab033d the women were chatting.35385f5466065260

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Their voices blended 01862fd76e with the breeze, 23f4aa37c8 sounding like a e22b76d9b9 high-pitched song. I cautiously approached them.22cc684073b7d7e0

Next to the noblewomen d5558e820e was a maid rocking a234093007 a cradle under the 367672b9d8 warm sunlight.b281c073805b92fa

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The baby inside the 826385c1a1 cradle lay with wide-open 28e4b363ef eyes. Despite the unfamiliar bcb62daf15 people walking around 1cd162948a the garden, the e2efd44971 baby didn’t fuss, 831dfd1e1b simply staring at 6ea50bdfed the blue sky.28e11f245be2f3d8

The baby wore white dff4a8279e clothes, making the sparkling 39d72a4598 jewel around its neck 57d46ed455 stand out more.cbd22b390a197115

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The pendant’s design 4df37b662e was familiar. The pendant, hanging from c54b039dd6 a chain, was identical dc5ac1dce4 to the ring Elizabeth b3f4c50189 had once given me.a4c07f9cee890406

So this was Elizabeth’s child, the next generation’s heir.b265414c43a55809

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Though I 14b7f74db3 could only d58faf6ced see the ee5c45cd27 baby’s face 03604ee894 wrapped in 791203b516 a swaddle, 219a055c97 I knew. The baby’s 864a29aa3a slowly blinking ecd219db5d eyes were 6a5d09d86e the same 4a18a16572 emerald green 4d5c1f0646 as hers.dae1c4462c26a285

Finally, I was meeting 56e9afc614 the boy from the ae6b09d551 prologue. A strange emotion stirred fe2cff83bd within me.22fe39a722083467

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“I am… your godmother,” I whispered. I was grateful to be able to say these words before.c6eb4de817f04167

As I reached out, f5ff9ad20b the tiny hand grasped 9e1edcef2e my index finger. It was so 806549a7fd small and soft. As the baby smiled, f80aebb7f4 I could see the 4bf82b4c3f tiny front teeth just f81a573f7e starting to emerge.765c96b1f5c61ac4

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Everything about 7198d840be him was f863b90ffd fast. His birth, his growing 82b8b28bc8 teeth.3b5177b1b8359352

He must be f207cd7dd3 an extraordinary child. As the 2eb13ae2c3 youngest heir, cf8d8fde60 he had 290e254e98 to grow 2f52c0f383 faster than df7eea8d51 anyone. Such rapid 362c1e0a59 development was 261eb2e199 no longer 5b9d301cd4 necessary once 40be89e177 he became e4fec401fd emperor.863e8ddcfa9076f6

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“So you’re the child f9426d1ea9 who caused me so 67c647ea1b much pain and made edcb5acaf4 my heart beat so 3febdec217 loudly.”a9b4a2f065d21f5d

The baby smiled as 7a608dbfe3 if understanding my words.f2636c5b3c7de307

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I was relieved. I could face this c380d48af2 child without resentment.133a9c8e612c7f39

The noblewomen enjoying 50a3b039b3 tea time at 858bfbdd55 the table paused c3ccd96d2e their conversation at 722169e221 the sound of af828da4e4 my footsteps. One by one, 8f7459f9f2 they turned towards 824bf4aba8 the pram, setting 6172bbcf37 down their teacups.a04f28697ef62d7e

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The last 1949a9671c woman to 5a1fef3827 set down 566100e08a her cup 75bffa9f20 and turn 8ce1519de0 was Elizabeth. Her eyes widened in 9f2625db3a surprise when she saw cc1e30f5c7 me.17975009d579c8e4

“Lady Leonie!”a14dcf2a279ec1d3

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Elizabeth covered her mouth. Overwhelmed with emotion, she 96c5aede49 could barely speak, then 4c12800d72 reached out to me a6235cdfd4 with open arms.b0f88303a8d01ac3

“I’m sorry I can’t 5ada85ac5d stand to greet you. I haven’t fully ceb2481a89 recovered yet.”96aab5e5f74ebd9c

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“It’s alright.”a98e5a8811e84e37

I embraced 85fa82c930 her gently, 79423a03b4 patting her 544e9c7d5e back.643473a7b14695aa

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Though she didn’t look 29537f29ce healthy, she was alive. Everyone I c46d2620b7 met after 7263ed2b98 coming to 7024ff9660 the capital e64776488e felt surreal, 25bf97bfe2 but her 9bf5e96ddd frail body 4d774b905c made it aea368847d all the 63807abdab more real.a822618008ad0fc8

Elizabeth had changed b2ec4464cb drastically. The once full f924d094f2 belly, which had ec90c14e68 always seemed off-balance, 0f506aa12f was now flat.4bab6769459f8d4d

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“You’re alive. I’ve missed d40efe585b you so 75ee9c91ff much,” she 078f737d9e said, expressing 63b79e1a55 the words cc985d4e76 I had 49ece2c7ba wanted to b794516e18 say. Tears welled 5d8687f1a7 up in c824881f32 her eyes.863b6b5f775f52b9

“I knew it eee8c06760 would be polite 4523b9d839 to visit, but d3f9c0e5b8 the palace’s security 0f0ad74975 has always been faf42486c8 strict. I couldn’t get permission f663d61b33 and had to wait 37d174825e for you to come 4cfe8cb512 out,” Elizabeth explained, echoing 391f951ffa Viter’s sentiments. Someone had undoubtedly been 10d7daddc1 blocking palace entry.d177513add67e9d4

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And it was 2144ff70a9 obvious who that 649c801f61 someone was. There was only 7ecd1bbc9e one master of 97adbef528 the palace, with ed07950cbb no spouse or edbc248542 former empress.6201303640114b8b

“It seems he wanted 0dda5affd3 to spend time alone 0d8ff381a9 with you,” Elizabeth whispered, e1806d1c62 still misunderstanding our relationship.ff0eac170aa451cd

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She whispered 53060a4e23 in my 368184a2b9 ear, as 628a0df48c if protecting 526c0e2b4e a lover’s 7fc009966a private life 6a450388c7 from others.d04bd5e89ea58a24

“That’s not it. I’m leaving soon. I’ve been granted 65e011f332 a new title. I’ll live out my 6dcbe19a99 days in peace once b6e7d8f9c0 I leave the palace.”94b69ff251838add

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Elizabeth’s eyes widened in 359d8e74eb surprise at my words.2aca19535e330dfc

“You’re leaving? I thought the reason cd4c150d58 for changing your family f8a28aeef9 name was to keep caab7d0322 you in the palace.”883fcf65a2bb814f

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“What do you mean?”eb3f56bda8d36d5d

“It’s to ensure d255a4d8d0 you have good 54b100bcdf conditions to become 74245112d7 Empress easily.”e36add7b3d61a26e

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 8ce41cb8ec35c6be