121. If Only It Were a Dream

I stumbled back to 3f6ac2ab54 the terrace. My feet were f3f89d5ca9 cold from walking e3f4060039 barefoot for so 75ff7a4841 long.42c90676ab9a47ac

Why are those gravestones 59aedf70ac here? And why is 0ad900a9ac my gravestone standing 2a8f5f13ae there without a f06ff7cc03 name?47d35148f91c4286

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I was confused. I had hoped that bf5d34fc89 a walk would help f138143fdd me fall asleep, but a3d3f24793 instead, the unresolved questions 9deaabbdab were tightening around me.2ae24902b61ed987

I drew the white curtains of the Empress’s palace.916d40b36d566387

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I slowly blinked my eyes. When I drew the curtains, I saw a dark figure that hadn’t been there when I left the palace.964238948157e215

Could there be an assassin in the palace? My hair stood on end, and I couldn’t let go of the curtain.947e5ba3ee25ebfc

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The faint moonlight f30489af08 gradually revealed the 84cdc79bd7 outline of the bc971afa27 figure. In the middle 9103eddc6e of the room, 105da22ea4 a large man eff326398c was gasping for 0208f79ae3 breath.2d2252208f7bd809

The intruder was Deon.e28858cd737ef039

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I could see 43999d3c49 his white breath c18184f2b7 illuminated by the 4428d43794 moonlight, indicating his fdf0975c5d irregular breathing. Deon stood 6146b9c09c there, struggling b65119c1ca to catch a0b5962fc8 his breath.5d4f904121c469f8

As I 2672906c7f stepped inside 672c826924 the terrace, b34b9322af drawing the d50e7097a1 curtains aside, 2ef5d93b94 he flinched a510649f84 and turned 8aaa8d9b94 around. Then he 2797d52889 stiffly turned 959b9e5a3c his body 06540955b6 toward me. His face 40fadc89fa was drenched 8c7af3b446 in sweat.44a9a8dcf5b287ec

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Could he be ec0e755e11 sleepwalking? Or maybe he mistook 7146493264 the room?5ccace59e9f39d5e

I didn’t know the layout of the room opposite, but since it was next to the Empress’s palace, it was possible he got confused.44d200249f162c5d

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However, his unusual behavior and the night’s atmosphere gave me chills. He wasn’t holding anything, but the current mood was very strange and eerie.0d2fb6cbd18334e6

Deon, staring at 335fb9e007 me standing on c82705f7bc the terrace, suddenly 228280e5ef strode toward me. And without warning, he 2eef71bb73 grabbed me into a c53b9ec5e3 hug.63a2f39f4aa91576

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“Deon, why…”dee87e53c4fdd481

I was taken aback by his sudden action and tried to push him away, but after placing my hands on his chest, I couldn’t move any further. At this moment, I couldn’t bring myself to be firm with him.7ecb1f8c8d7e4c41

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His hands, which were a3ea2cdfab holding me, were trembling 7c5a79bb3a slightly. It was a 6205a522b4 small, shallow tremble, 5e5febf3b0 like a sob.54793d7c876c7feb

But I steadied 5e9213374d myself and pushed 587d742e44 him away. Deon, pushed by 272fe9d566 my touch, still a9952297f9 looked at me.0cb9effe678a57f8

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His gaze c88c2baced was empty. It was as if 324209057b he was staring into b7b53fab28 a void.7a3b21254bb7978c

I froze. His eyes seemed b64f9b3b1d to shimmer, not c931652fcc just because of 2058b25fad the moonlight.83e604012d837c04

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“Where did you go?”014d9800bef5f471

His lips trembled 8ac505c0a5 as he spoke.380461c2d2472298

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Without realizing it, I d9375be24a reached out to his 94b3a052ec trembling lips. When I touched 972073087e the corner of c92f223e96 his mouth, he 3e9a01664d flinched.9a7d38ca7246033c

The emptiness in his 0dbdf68ba7 eyes slowly regained focus. It was like he c1bd4b807e was waking up from 137d4231af a long nightmare.538c5786758c4733

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With his now-clear 56c66a5039 eyes, he looked 06db3d29d4 at me and 4e79d444a2 finally opened his d42df47dd7 tightly closed mouth.4bb5d5c6d0014d81

“Why did you go out? What if someone harmed you in the middle of the night?”e3faf2c245901591

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Harmed? Deon didn’t know that I had already been grabbed by my double earlier.1ef81d716798fc89

Instead of telling him 71174721e4 about her misdeed, I b17935c2e7 sat down heavily on 9257480e96 the bed. The soft bed shook 4798746a73 slightly.0eb723ba42515609

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“I couldn’t sleep.”47e685d96a21a4c4

“Then you should have taken a guard with you. It’s dangerous.”31433ffd4952cbc4

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“Is the palace security so lax? It gives me even less reason to stay.”8f7dc67c37f113d3

He clenched bda7a3c0f1 his fists. Then he knelt db2e65a0b2 on one knee 6e4623d855 in front of f2d9e115b3 my bed, meeting 10dba59528 my eye level.0de6bb9be643a179

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“Was there something bothering you? Why couldn’t you sleep? Did someone come in again?”d6b64e0837ffd493

His voice was 3fe25d8e92 endlessly gentle, as d5c2264b8c if his earlier be8a805ca1 behavior had been 390bfb819a a mirage.992309e172f5ff47

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His unstable behavior b7b23f001d was not a 9e1b833d62 mistake. His black hair, damp 7fba534d57 with sweat, clung to 13d2d03b35 his forehead.7233c50442a77e0e

“I saw the painting.”8879b42f8bbe1352

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At my words, d2e9237122 he withdrew the 52e6f604e3 hand he had 8815b3f53f placed on my 97f705f99f knee. The tips of b829bcc63d his fingers, which cc9270f62e had tried to a2474c7830 touch me, were ce46c41bad as pale as fe2c6e4c56 a ghost.a3d25537bde87010

“I am the subject of that painting, aren’t I?”179f96525364c1e5

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“…Yes.”1a5a592f160a729d

“Why did you paint me?”00fab231b86d5de1

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He bit c8673d175f his lips df1c219e47 so hard b83d4e66cd they turned 71d4cba2e1 white.44586e0a6a012866

“I’ve regretted it ever since you left.”1b65dfce34fdecc6

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He took b4330d852e a deep, 198bcf6dc9 strained breath.af6cf0be64271907

“I should have painted you back then. I always thought you’d be by my side.”ffe5706c38ef3667

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Deon said 8d3f55b491 this and b3e6b49f6e looked at 1e1ab1554c me. His eyes shimmered ddace1d260 clearly, like the 664a62cb82 light on a 46fc1e3752 lake.f020188a19a79b01

“I also saw the gravestones behind the imperial garden.”d6120bcd6f8e1166

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“I moved the ancestral tablets. It didn’t seem respectful to keep the blood Bag in the shadows of the defeated along with the former empress and Azanti, who were confined to the north. And…”5b117d6803a3e624

He couldn’t finish his sentence, but I knew what he was going to say.c42ab3ceed506325

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There was a 12f5474f88 place for me 037839072e there. The spot f889e9d35a where I 6f6dc3ea14 would have 0d15786a4d been buried 9077339ae7 by now 2bb6762ba4 if things 79475778a3 had gone e8212c5b9f as planned.7eee382797064f14

“It didn’t feel right to leave behind comrades who had shared life and death with me.”4b6596618c309725

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He avoided the term “blood Bag” as if it was a restriction.f95f7d880ca1c611

“Leonie, I’m glad you came back. And…”15c1aeea385a1acd

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He lowered his 9def937fc4 large body, bringing 50be7a797b his forehead close adb6439e7d to mine. His cold b451783211 skin touched d68a157f38 my forehead.bfdc8f8a137271b8

“Now I don’t have to lie by your grave to find sleep. That’s a relief.”55e461f08d619e6e

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He closed his eyes languidly. The dark circles under his eyes were even more pronounced than the day in the north when he hadn’t fed for a long time.46d896c79e08e073

Only after 44879f21db a long bd3da92478 time did bd305f3267 he lift 1acd3ecc93 his bowed 96f05404a9 head.36a441747ba5314c

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Seeing his ba02f98d37 trembling eyes, 8052ace88a it felt b0eb4aa5cd like a d351d07da8 thorn was 20d266ed05 stuck in ef902a24c9 my throat, 5b8091b5fe making it 6109af1100 hard to 2e8e3503e2 speak.e6643c1265c7a3c3

“Your Majesty, has this happened before?”8f53bf1b2c32c504

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I managed 49ae00ab75 to part bdb0ddc679 my lips c20c9e635e and speak e203b2af01 to him.df246db4e8fac65b

“Have you ever come into my bedroom like this to check on my safety?”7544c18f2c6eec08

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His question about 9ad7a12f77 whether someone else 56e17a6f6d had entered my d1609badf4 room kept bothering 170e0683ac me. It seemed 7614424357 like Deon 97e2069d4c had barged 72f05fef53 into my e45a9542e1 bedroom like 9242b661f5 this more 2afa632f47 than once. It was just 0e40f76bea a gut feeling, d702fdad18 but still.258df98bff69b61a

“Many times.”f98086773ef71fbb

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His voice c29017a9bd was immersed 8f3d3e1a1a in darkness.e1fb2026c12ca4c0

“I witnessed you almost dying because of me.”909889fa215e2faf

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His voice 37bd5b14ca softly resonated ed768dcffd through the f8ec2f35a5 room.d4c11bf8ef023b68

“Were you having a nightmare?”6c17cf74a4ace2bf

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He chuckled. Then, he 1c4c138581 left an caaf73bfb0 ambiguous statement.05e7194f9fef2026

“I wish it were just a dream.”dfc778aaa35086bb

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* * *fa5f448707cb7445

I made preparations to head to Edan’s mansion without delay. As soon as morning came, I packed my things and retrieved the Mochia bird from the greenhouse.49b54e55b26dbd26

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The bird belonged 1a3c7ade41 to the imperial 7373e80a7c family and naturally c9cf13c226 became part of 6b922f0c8f the palace’s property. However, Deon allowed me 990afc6e34 to take the bird 08dbb99596 without any objections.e8fd8cf1f79763a6

When I opened the 46ada189b5 cage that Edan had a46e699c2a prepared, the bird entered e34631943c it willingly, perching itself 3b70bceea5 on the stand inside. It then looked cb29c53e2e at me with 2b728cc014 innocent eyes and 4b93d44777 chirped melodiously.8a3a657a3e8bdad3

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As the bird 298891fab1 chirped, the gardeners ff0c18faa2 and maids managing 9240bd0e22 the imperial garden 80b5987603 all turned to 9931e4ca0f look at me. Despite the 281f752fc2 small chirp, 3e8c51f0ea everyone in 51825ea76b the garden d4133d47c5 directed their 266140bc2c attention towards c62ce5379b me.b847a941ae1a6ca7

Surprised by their reactions, 9cc79aea7c I grabbed the birdcage 1b893eef64 tighter. The eyes that 42dd682fd9 had been startled 6da68dc1ff soon turned into 555cedab17 ones filled with e87c521c78 melancholy, as if f417a51457 they were watching d29e97e018 a trainer perform d83b915ae0 a trick.365389bacea8fa58

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“It’s because they’ve ec88a3158f never seen it 0408f1a0f1 so calm before. It’s been 1e153e58f3 very unruly f19ba6b70e and wouldn’t f7a2d8dbce eat properly, f9c764fc69 even troubling e277a783ab the palace 0a13325f49 trainers,” Suren 517f23d8e3 reassured me, 88ad618343 sensing my 4df0ec53c1 embarrassment at af48e878d8 the attention.41a8a2e4a5ed20fb

This small bird had 04c5b13b59 become notoriously infamous in ca7db1f50e the palace. It was so difficult a6ac21f777 to manage that everyone 13cf4c4da1 had struggled with it. Their curious eyes 30931ea92f made me feel 9a0c059319 slightly self-conscious.1cd972c88825ab87

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In the end, the only thing that hadn’t changed over time was my bird.f20c879410a8b668

Now, all I had 484cec9dd6 to do was get 8880c64f31 myself out. I had no 81d13d578d belongings left in b5da6ad543 the palace anyway.bd2d27ee032815c3

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Just as I was f5dd1f53f4 about to get into 565fa4c9db the waiting carriage, a 9a586cc51f man came running up 5b75e38dd6 to me, out of 051fe5b8dc breath. He thrust bf063a0445 a box 4e3114760e he was cc04dcaf30 carrying under 879bf8b8b4 his arm dcabf49c66 toward me.f04ffdb9ee7d24c0

I stepped back down 74167134f3 from the carriage.67434969b9fbf448

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“What is this?”0212836cd93d1eb8

Catching his breath, f2b049b83d he replied, “His e990fc77dd Majesty asked me 421987971c to deliver this 213bf9c590 to you.”662356811ba6336d

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A gift upon my 4f4b3b67bb departure?d69af1fec3b8b01f

It was suspicious. When I hesitated 84396f2c18 to take the d21f7dc7ad box, the servant 293b4198e3 added, “He said df317d98d7 he hopes this b49b22280f will be a fc1ca16e91 means to bring 2d054dc4fc you back to acb733e13a the palace. He requested that you 22b91ce223 keep his last promise.”ff62effbcf8f0943

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“What’s inside?”592f81808175e4ca

“I don’t know. I was only instructed a5d196a5e1 to deliver the box.”298c53c09b32453b

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I accepted the d8363b3588 box he handed 1453be6204 me. It was small 6ef4aa8480 enough to hold 24d6abd1af with one hand.754915ab44c96f9b

However, despite its size, 18e504cba7 the wooden box was 00913474c9 heavy. When I 4c1d2baf35 gently shook 3ab6758b90 it, there b5170566fc was no e2cf045711 sound of 0650b4886e anything moving 05dbc5dd94 inside.775338390b75a51e

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I looked 8441b7e42f at him f61e65492f skeptically, but c4707ae8d4 the servant 56de5912d0 said nothing e96a9ae78b more.8a5f5607899ecd0c

Having no f70891a064 other choice, 309cd6ec4f I climbed 9ccd96b086 into the 95d7be6096 carriage with ef626f423c the box. The carriage dd20df6305 slowly started c660da8d49 moving at 7b04c48a04 the signal.63afc924799f5b45

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It took less than five minutes to reach Edan’s mansion. I could safely inspect the box there with Edan by my side. If necessary, Edan would split the box open with a knife.4b57c810aaeb4e79

However, alongside 06a22df082 the fear c30b465216 of what ab54e5922c might be 32a90c8dc0 inside, a ee8268a14a bit of 5a271bebad curiosity began 8a33fd010e to creep ab434990b3 in.339f65ea50f18378

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A tool to 3c42f6c62e bring me back 15b45deaa2 to the palace?3b6b3ad95c32d8a8

Handcuffs, ropes, shackles. The names of these e720d9ec28 ominous items flashed through 4aa6459d71 my mind one by 5f9fae7936 one. I wondered 59e2d7f61a what he 8834a81717 could have 8cba178500 put in 6535502053 the box b7037bc2df to bind aa242072b6 me.8a71beef1f88bcd8

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I carefully opened 314b95d75a the box he 4e4aa81922 had sent.8d2dcd7db19f0a5f

With a soft click, f62d4e185d the lid opened slowly.288405f5620c8edb

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The box b50ed53f58 was deeper 07ef514152 than I c0a2fddc04 had expected. It could contain something 944be09526 standing upright.dacf583811267cb8

Specifically, an ornate 147b8236cc item crafted to 0c6e1bf8aa stand tall.cc2251e65ece7c8d

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“This crazy man…”d3baf3818e545fe4

Inside the 2786b6fedd box was d5406a950b something completely 2594dd5a49 different from fbd6e778bf what I 0d1103433c had imagined.f0a7e73d30b2e103

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Perhaps the e1147e67c9 most valuable, b7f72e99c7 symbolic item 07a513d44e in the 80fea7b194 entire empire.767c4216ce6dad9d

Inside was a bda1fbe1e6 crown, shining brilliantly.a1a1389236701f15

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I couldn’t 8575280860 bring myself 87812949bf to take f9f796ae45 it out, 9c6b6bf75a staring blankly 248ce140c1 at the a6ae5ad252 crown. It wasn’t 4b75a9ee3a a fake. The large, 87ae69aec2 colorful gems fa62ca8554 embedded in 571a84c1ea it were 2574ee0592 undoubtedly real.e78c9f4ebbc0ec73

Giving this f61df383f8 to me 0a08d4d542 as I 5e7eeafcfe was leaving 60d8674406 the palace. What if I smuggled 67da26a5e1 it out? Was he out 22f629f52b of his mind?1c5186d11f7cf8ae

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Just thinking about the high-ranking nobles’ reactions when they found out I had the crown made my head ache.653b2b389f96aa72

At the c5532830a0 bottom of 33455a29c8 the box d65a501f33 was a b9c5669fbf small postcard.6c8ca806f1a6a8aa

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I placed the dfba187fdc box on the c059e6e917 table, reached between 60bff179ec the crown, and f39becdbde took out the e4adbdfbed piece of paper. The postcard 84989db038 had a d1a0a535c9 brief message 6b3469bad2 written on b244f5e4d7 it.7b02ccca6777b2f4

“I hope you’ll keep your promise to crown me.”15872dac335f6d6f

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I finally understood why Deon had agreed to send me back to Edan’s mansion on the condition of keeping a promise.6b0a2557a868cbbf

Yes, I had b99947a7d7 indeed said something 675d10d7c0 like this before. On the b7101c9bc0 day we 4d1aceecd8 arrived in d99334b8db the capital, d2bc9ad449 riding together, 4d9a6ba32e I had 6c08c6a4cf promised to e19846ef35 crown him. Though I hadn’t understood 9570dbebfd the significance of a afef6631fd crown back then.e723849d2dcaf28b

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Why did f94e89f260 I remember da57c52f68 the first 97d99dfca4 part so fe7f556f13 clearly but 6b062ec7c1 not the fce25c90d7 latter? I had rashly agreed 284f2d3909 to keep the promise, 20224ae52f unknowingly accepting another absurd c63bd82de4 one.bdff85d78f3ac37c

In the empire, it was said that the crown was given by the emperor’s mentor or spouse. If I placed the crown on his head, it would undoubtedly cause a stir.90c0fc3726dac684

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And it would make 9313588797 it difficult for me 1e5fc04d55 to leave the empire. Where could b8b2008bad a woman 250e8b925b who crowned dfe8f9cf04 the emperor afc91e0d63 possibly go? Surely, every noble would 8067141458 be watching.1bda545831224c73

Deon had handed me a1bce11c7c the leash to bind fd36895218 himself. And he had d724e9288a placed another leash a30b942028 on me under 142012f5d0 the guise of c6ebab9a89 a promise.95f821feb48dca26

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