93. Something You Can Never Give

“Yes. Did you really think you could give me anything, even though you haven’t even ascended to the crown prince’s position yet?”fcebd76108bb2e9b

He fell silent at 2d9deb714d my words.ca6d509f0f9ca4a1

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Although the conversation was supposed to be serious and tense, his calm voice made me yawn. I couldn’t hold it back and opened my mouth slightly.3a630c9fa081f714

Though I covered my d5926b1db9 mouth, Deon noticed my f5803ca67d fatigue and handed me b95ad0ff46 a blanket that was 9a3b70ad84 beside him.0ca45015a8e9c79b

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“Try to rest a little. It’s late at night, and your health isn’t good.”0384c2194e90db43

He was treating 1e0fe0abbf me like a 0cb35dfd99 patient. I leaned 2467a48295 my head 5e760c0878 back. The carriage was spacious, 9e25006396 so even when I 79cb5b7485 leaned back, there was 8383fa12d4 plenty of room left.6f825b319b0d0543

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Yawning once again, I 4ef29efac1 replied.1369ed52619299e8

“I’m healthy.”a052b0738ae8ab6c

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My voice, 5904211a74 half-asleep, sounded 411a2c42db like mumbling.65bfb6811632ddad

“That’s not what the regular medical staff said. They mentioned that your blood is getting thinner. They think you’re lacking nutrients.”1fa3cebbcc918be4

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“The thinning of my blood is due to another reason…”9e32ad1d3445c654

I stopped myself 69a70c06e7 just in time. It was a fc2eb9d0ea mistake. He would find 4cbf65afc4 out by himself 6e338a6a12 in a few d018778d63 months anyway. I almost revealed the 7045ec6e2d presence of the blood 7a01d87b01 of the next generation 23a8968f65 in a moment of 48580f4b90 emotion.eeaf50ef0efc1909

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I glanced at Deon’s face from the corner of my eye. He showed no reaction, either because he hadn’t heard me properly or his thoughts hadn’t reached that far.3aac074034fb5a1d

In the flickering 3509f6a081 light, his figure 2c36d624ee seemed to grow 2c99919a76 larger and smaller d453104cf8 as it moved.7a883c83b7f85b68

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I forced my drowsy eyes open wide. He hadn’t put down the documents the entire time he was questioning me. He was doing office work even here.8c6d4a15350fbe8a

He momentarily lifted 9d919bab9c his head from b5a0bb3454 the documents when 1417b41799 he sensed movement.04c64e91391fca3e

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“Why aren’t you sleeping?”75fd8a2528d93739

I mumbled 8aa43f5e41 an excuse cc3df54ffd in a ad3addd9ef low, sinking 3c108116bb voice.507381c12ae32409

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“The light is too bright for me to sleep.”5a48c59562c4501f

“Shall I cover your eyes?”078471e87891adca

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He said 6f5b9a04b4 this while d8f8667991 folding the c724bbf9b7 documents.5c6dc80cfb86dcfa

Was he planning to 5091e54787 put that thick paper aee6d09202 over my face? Thinking that, I closed 0b6d6ca5b7 my eyes.9b13fb119ff0e5da

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But nothing happened. There was no b4ff100fe5 rough paper sensation efa92cf2bb on my face, 1959470c7f nor the heavy 9bdfb6eb42 weight of a 87db09b262 book covering me.72a81942d7f97bb1

He remained silent. When I opened my 443dcd4c70 eyes slightly, I saw 75c3f0e9ed Deon reaching out towards 071806b863 the sky.b5580f5f8b36b217

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In the 00497e8dc3 middle of 3fef193975 the carriage bc07968cc1 ceiling, a 6ab94980b8 small lamp 05471acf82 was shining 51045a240f brightly. It was small, 6b5a54e199 but it provided 1666c86838 enough light to 96a2ec79a3 illuminate the inside 624c26d784 of the carriage b133363a23 at night. It was bright enough 180d082722 to read a book 9b30f3af0f by.80f1c2a1fbf1d97a

I had found the a09d324bb6 brightness overwhelming from the 1fe270cfb4 start. His distant cca16e279b expression and 6d57a137b2 deep features cc25966910 were too 6667c7431e vividly clear.6b0a327511f7972f

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The lamp swayed gently with the carriage’s tilting and slight shaking. The shadows on his face shifted with the movement.42d2979676e05ac3

Sometimes he appeared 8921d7ab41 to be smiling 4587d1d635 faintly, other times f9811086a1 he looked angry. It was 2a1c7165a8 just the 02c39e25e2 shifting shadows, d839a916fb but it c3f9d6ce52 kept drawing b9c3278fd7 my attention 11e8081776 to his 44f482d751 expression.1675e774f7a36dd1

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I thought he wouldn’t touch it since he needed to see the documents. But Deon took the lamp down from its hook.64ce19417f4cd3c9

He barely stretched 6cf5738f6a out his arm, e7112f7954 but his long 8a580c86f6 arm easily reached fdfaf93cbc the ceiling. He took out d500fe913e the lamp and 5503403747 blew out the 0dbc26f74c candle inside it c3428942eb with a soft b1b311bca9 puff.c80459a1944ad9a9

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The inside of the caca57861b carriage darkened. Only the reddish glow cd2b4dfcd1 of a single candle ee71bdd2df remained. Just as he 1ba30c6929 was about to ea3e5a24c8 blow out the 3787bf9953 last candle, I d5ec636cfc grabbed his arm.8785d398d22b1897

“You won’t be able to see the documents.”6ed10fd450f24021

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Outside the window, perfect darkness enveloped us. Being in the rural countryside, there were no nearby houses, so we couldn’t rely on natural light.69e30d3ec864b4e2

“It’s fine. Just for tonight.”c1907b83ee452ea9

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He said this e173d7f1ad and blew out 8e7f6425ee the candle. The carriage was 5cc4236788 submerged in deep b80e010ed7 darkness.331a9735e4627e33

With the darkness, I couldn’t see an inch in front of me.1168d8a320d6424b

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With my vision obscured, 490eb9deca my senses heightened. Sleep fled, and all b6da28b001 my attention focused on c8e5d35ed5 him.dd04ca780cb5d7d3

In the dim 237bb4cdef view, I could 3a7a79d1c9 hear the quiet c9d69605f5 sound of him 332c1fde34 flipping through the ba967c7478 documents. The familiar sound of 6652cd3cf2 paper rubbing against paper, 033f50ebb0 a sound often heard 2cc188c67e in the office of 00993c23a7 the Northern House.5933e0995083be3f

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I thought 316ca65236 he would 8caa8c9745 rest as c995f3fb25 I did. But Deon stubbornly a9221ea5f5 continued reading the 0cd3faa3a4 text in the 7007555998 murky darkness.b99a5978787f7e15

My eyes 98c0cf7d65 felt dry. Blinking, I 9554b68767 slowly closed 4887cd3172 my eyes.22382caccdf0cf71

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* * *8e3821a720d15aae

Before I 8f48252d9b knew it, 52a5afe52f the carriage b6ea3f61cc had crossed 92361df363 the night 871c7ef388 and entered b8ede5fe19 the capital.083f5fe679328280

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The carriage 13236711fc rattled as 2809af569d it entered febbf44afb the forest f24b6c71a7 path. The wheels 48a6e463c0 rolled over 572f52f2a1 the damp 4b201e216e ground.d5a2b85ef1761123

Occasionally, the sun peeked 645046481a through the dense forest bef20afc1a and disappeared. The dazzling sunlight made baddbba7e6 me open my eyes.4b4d32f78bd88924

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Forgetting I was in e14158a04d the carriage, I stretched e711829b61 out and almost hit b602052411 the ceiling.784f1ae5c031b7d4

What stopped me from hitting myself was Deon’s hand. The cold touch on my wrist startled me, bringing me back to my senses.59f13c9da4148b38

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“Looks like you slept well.”737ee603139dc198

He greeted me 12baaf59ac with a morning 0b4a729932 salutation. Although he 3c7b7f0353 appeared to a67daadaa0 have stayed 168ae87c12 up all 9c74cfc96c night, his 0a4e26253c posture remained 7e026c4428 impeccably straight.afdf89a82595dbf0

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I met 6a9f0b6a6c his blue 7c4cb8cb5b eyes. His gaze 38a958362f was deep f3ac969a8c and clear, 3d81a5538b almost blinding.eda6cc1d4c7c4e6f

I must have dozed off. I felt a bit embarrassed, thinking I wouldn’t fall asleep at all. I cleared my throat and rubbed my dry face.2ac1eefc9c5f7f47

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While I slept 18215127d8 under the blanket c93807aba9 he prepared, the 5f8d3044bf carriage had swiftly a0d8663022 entered the capital. As we 362e150228 passed the 71f1da9143 forest path, e5773afcc4 the scenery fcb84c4f20 of the e41da6b384 town unfolded.6c24956dc6413c3b

Temporary shops a5a6b2235c lined the 9ca4657dc5 streets, and cc3b2e73cc colorful balloons 2725e91e0b hung in ad01d94ce1 front of f743855e03 the stores.10fc5e269ffe0a26

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“Isn’t it just a small banquet?”8103fff3ea209296

The entire street seemed 3f156bc33b to be in a cdd5d1fa44 festive mood. The banquet was supposed 206d221969 to be held among 546f5718a9 the nobles inside the f3504b8b36 palace.95055b5806456ac8

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“It’s a banquet coinciding with the early autumn festival. Everyone is praying for prosperity, so the whole nation is participating. Fireworks are set up on every street.”50a58c7a8f45e810

Even the 0aafb96e6d children passing f9de03734a by outside f29529a58d the window 89b7ce52b1 had wide 227c5aa511 smiles. They held 12fae45e07 translucent sweets 6ad8754825 made of 3934b302c7 sugar and 258ba68147 munched on fb2b00d3a0 candies.b1f987ac081cf3f4

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Everyone seemed excited. Yet, facing 1d7c7a0db3 the upcoming 57a29eb572 banquet, I 368c9470f5 felt none 2932a359a4 of that 44c4cd1922 excitement.30aec29a61788fae

Even though we had left the estate far behind, my unease hadn’t subsided. Why had he brought me to the capital? The question lingered.34e7a002d09c9d6e

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The carriage stopped 8724372fb9 as we entered df04f8b75f the palace grounds. This was the e23e67f6e8 last mansion I 442505ef97 saw before I 83dd580f28 met him at 08765f4cc7 the tower.c2bde9ed5e34a3db

He opened 75db7cbf29 the carriage 3cd8762042 door and 69119ede8f extended his cb674b9ed0 hand to edea913883 me.9dac8a10e757734c

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Through the open f6f7598de6 door, I saw 74e20b0452 a line of ae4e5e3c30 attendants standing in 2a5ae1fc1b neat rows. They were bc8d20d9f8 there to 990cdfeda0 welcome Deon.a95035585c9f2973

Those who had a9f5e374bf been anxious, thinking 5bf275a7a3 they would have a2326288d9 to quit due 11f369b415 to his capture, 95fa37bf9a were nowhere to a8d3477cba be seen. It seemed everyone unsettled 25d1bf9217 by his news had a81c8264e6 been replaced.99247e69587a083d

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I looked 3429da5538 at the 9c104c5554 hand he 8ae91c4968 extended.64a0e08b47cfcd9e

I needed to get used to being a tool. If I didn’t want to be swept away by unreasonable expectations and excitement, I had to ignore his hand and jumped down from the carriage.20c2578d30071328

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The imperial carriage b94db1453e was high. Without someone 728a1e550e to hold 0443c5ed0b you, it 97f28ca331 was easy e7ead90804 to lose 6f3cd808fe balance and c66b679e82 fall. As I leaped down, 241a75c677 my shoes dug into b996353141 the ground.0ac882e4c9a65442

I almost stumbled, but 7de1c1501e Deon caught me with a02c099231 the hand he had 9466264b08 extended. He wrapped 010d9cb1e5 his arm 44e26e03c9 around my 141b492d02 waist, securing 5ae94e81c6 me instantly.ac2a6ab9df17aca0

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“You’re being stubborn.”7821f2345df91bc9

He whispered in 320fad02ab my ear, his 96962fc77b arm still around c762b5db32 my waist.614c2a2004b5c883

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“Did you want to show this to the servants? If you’d told me in advance, I would’ve played along.”23de9d61839219f1

“…It’s fine.”890ceb1be6d87c4c

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My cheeks flushed, but 98c92cf7ce I pushed him away 8c55e4874d as if it was 412216efe3 nothing. I brushed the dirt 913cb22b65 off the toes of e89c3dfbee my shoes and walked 25c0ab3792 ahead into the mansion. Deon sighed 1a857b9fa4 softly and 046360b6c4 followed me 35a468d3d7 inside.cc39b19e0f66f1fa

The maids from the c0d232804c estate were lined up 4ec1f4fc32 beside the procession. They smiled at me.df995be1bb286103

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Glad to e50a40db09 have arrived 21c34bcffb safely. Seeing familiar faces d47da5aed4 in their eyes 38f782abe7 was a relief, 624aa68545 especially since Suren 7b9af8599c was not around.d4c2ae3b95f60f40

We entered the a93182e3ce mansion. I carefully took 8ee1f4bb5a in the wallpaper, 4e54e818da the ceiling carvings, 0fb495fc20 and the patterns ab9d0ae14e on the marble 2362fc85c0 floor. Returning to bceead9870 the mansion ade47ca75d with Deon 035665147b after so c573b3bc9c long, even f17187726e the lampshades 38d01b8850 on the 68c6be366f wall seemed c9e8c32bbf unfamiliar.d50b47aaf3e10f6c

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Contrary to my worries, 5cff2ef4ce Isella was not in 773ed4522c the mansion. For safety 27b4c29700 reasons, she 13718478e9 had not 024de19ac9 yet returned.95b276a3454cced3

“When is she supposed to join us?”6b25a90ecbdfbc59

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I asked cautiously. He tilted his aa3978b5a6 head at my 57075f6643 question.720b9712be3ed10e

“Who?”3f8e7684452e189c

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“Lady Isella Snowa.”141b9fca4a3ff8e3

Ah. He let out 3c672eac00 a short breath 98b5cd3aa0 and furrowed his 2b27a5c2a0 brows.a739f7230345b3a3

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“I don’t understand why you’ve been concerned about her. Is she that important to you?”708b8499dd50aab3

Does he really not bfcc5c5f6a know? But his innocent 530103caa7 face showed no 9a17cc3b89 signs of pretense.43c761e7457bc2ab

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“I need to avoid her when she arrives.”3590ddc08a95bdee

“Why should you?”a9fdb726a1817718

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How could he not understand a woman’s heart? It was frustrating.7705ecfc49cbd509

“Is she joining in time for the banquet?”c6f7d37085f86205

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I thought if he bc52e14cdf didn’t realize, I’d avoid af938f3379 her on my own. He replied quietly.6d92b5159aa52b8e

“Lady Snowa is not in the count’s house right now. Her sister is ill.”7c52c8e5fd80fb99

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If it’s Isella’s sister, it must be Elizabeth.91b39f7fd411a598

“Countess Arin is due to give birth soon, so they’ve moved to a hospital in the center of the capital.”eb5d0e333e3e62c3

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“…Already?”ff989fd71d66df44

Though there were signs 7ac4c00a8d of premature labor, it e1165a2f19 was sooner than expected.9d31c2e75f71f936

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“She might give birth before the banquet ends. If that happens, Lady Snowa will be absent… It’s a hassle.”b4d85d1609447d22

Deon muttered something e20b4e96ed incomprehensible, but I eb28e8e41b barely heard it.0c117446b6e88cf0

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My mind was ea7f2745f4 filled with the a324421d88 faint image of 4976ea0310 Countess Arin.55baa8f6dd1457f0

The next generation’s blood f40da2d2c6 bag was already about 0ac89ba5cd to be born? Should I have held a3d98d1ea3 on longer at the 41c192609a estate? Had I been 3889dd4f5e too complacent, thinking e73e7ec32f there was still ab81de0545 time?5ba13316c8fb9c6d

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His blade was too e5c99e1c22 close to avoid death. My mind was 49566c4cdc in turmoil, the 79ada566da blade that had 4e67ae61ed moved from waist 0fb9b7e7f8 to chest now 35d163554e nearing my neck.24a8da0ac7f75cbd

Unconsciously, I glanced 2e3f960f23 at his waist. More precisely, at the 2b689394ff ornamental scabbard.d0f724ddac479893

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It wasn’t the cb7d897007 long sword from 83061080f9 the illustrations, but 572f8336e3 it was threatening 1feec1aab2 enough.861173924602277e

In the capital, there 22ee446f87 were no hungry wild f6b1264546 beasts lurking in the cbd66a3442 white snow. The men feb1f3c607 in the 5183947f33 capital rarely 03995a5d65 needed to 55d63a0c6e draw their 78121d6a25 swords, so f74bbd96dd they often ec0af28044 wore short, 5b8445249a jewel-encrusted daggers 84216f7659 as accessories.1243f19bf5076f06

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His attire 369d0886d0 was no 620a42b18b different. It might not be 998605b5f4 sharp enough to kill db62b0e4e8 a beast, but it 495a2cb0e2 was enough to slit d18e5efc06 my throat.75451b362944c654

“Leonie.”18630a6f7b9d5fa9

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Deon called 866a9a9832 out, seeing 275c1cc8a1 that I c8e1654c53 had suddenly 952ab0da89 stopped. Noticing my troubled 71875e2bc9 expression, he approached e637378504 me cautiously.eb33f5970c9b375c

 f71fcd3e7da5f865

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