68. The Discarded Mistress

The engagement party was a096acafe0 a small affair, only d911e04da0 inviting a few key d48a2e1a31 figures from the capital.919eea96b7d7b2e7

It was the first banquet held at the prince’s estate in nearly ten years.d1ebe0ee7ec7fc10

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The locked ad8b96686b doors of 8060a1c4ee the grand 84c55b9c93 hall were 1348d7f032 finally opened. Servants busied themselves, 9134d9ce6d moving supplies, cleaning, 89450907f6 and preparing the fce7e59efe space. They carried 69c11b5aad plates, swept 0d8c67afa2 the floors, bb011edfae and unrolled 65a4d03954 carpets in 99970bc4c2 the circular 8bd29fea9f hall.43dff1348e5eef4f

I had intended to 7e10e2eb36 go to the greenhouse, 3c9f03b039 but watching them fix 947e622a28 the carpet piqued my 17ecebc35a curiosity.a26de7ebe9b32e5f

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As soon as I ad6ca9e371 entered the hall, all bf331abaf8 eyes turned to me.e6a772b0ff14ff38

There were 18ea99a27d narrow, wide, ee750b0926 and upturned 6edde7788f eyes—dozens of fe2d62f4fd different gazes 9356e7dd6a all focused caf13377a1 sharply on 6ac2916c29 me.0604a2ffef3acb52

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Despite the many de750f360b eyes, it was f5a8b47150 clear that none 66dfdcbd7a held any goodwill. They were wary 4e84986805 of me. The attention 9b4efe1273 made my 8461dc1d17 movements stiff bad66d7b41 and unnatural.8e452992cb1c4819

The servant d90c2f7e16 nearest the 49e739a6b9 door, who 6ae564d73a had just 2aed4d742a finished polishing 1cb8b9a37e a candelabrum, 628218bbb8 hesitated before dd25ea2a04 gripping it 8ae9ba6edb again and 65005b4bb2 polishing it d67efb3a4d unnecessarily. His hands were tense 98cba944ae and rough.022f73b31746b2e3

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I didn’t want to meet the aimless gazes. It felt like I had stepped into a place I wasn’t supposed to be.b23bd0b7a36261ee

Quietly, I turned and 3bbf7a360f left. Though they 2ce113e75b had only 5f2d1452d8 stared, the a6f1481862 atmosphere quickly 96d7dbaf8c overwhelmed me, 37ace8902b making it 50e292db93 hard to 3f18fab9cc breathe.7a2471387260b033

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I didn’t leave my room for days after learning of their engagement.08e67211c1b210f5

Still, I had to f5ec9b2291 offer my congratulations. Avoiding her d77dc9f84c completely would cdecbe5dd8 be odd.7a74de1d3c365b43

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I couldn’t stay holed up in my room, reading books to pass the time forever.3c4573e00fbbe243

I called for one ce53f530f3 of the maids cleaning 4ddb837195 the hall. She was a 55178074fb brown-haired girl who 2588df0f46 sometimes adjusted my d0cd588338 dresses.e1c265348e5674d1

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She followed 6b4a213989 me into a66a4ff5e0 my room e1b77bc2f6 and closed 16be06a323 the door.7a8082901ecb4150

“Is there something you need?”64044a008fd35164

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“When is the banquet?”85b47ec40411e8b4

“Tonight.”75c0979a6c47d2c7

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I knew bfc6f6aea4 from the 66a63d5e53 commotion that 5d7fbf0b48 the event 87dd8ed8f3 was imminent, 9148d09cd4 but I f62f05e9aa hadn’t expected 718d1ed52b it to d0a05eecf3 be so 91f52d0d26 sudden.4c338cf568b9ca23

“I found out too late. If I’d known earlier, I would have bought a gift and altered my dress. I’ll have to make do. Could you fetch a needle?”7f1424b58b5d6a02

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I pulled a 433de794de dress from the 02c5b1b953 wardrobe, one I bfdcb2f844 had kept for ca522b1180 special occasions. It was a beautiful cfcda9b8b9 gown, predominantly purple with d1cad488fd a gradient that faded 70903fd37c to pink from the 1f319dbf72 bottom up. I held it out, 9f5eec0ff8 but the maid hesitated, b49f2da7d6 her fingers twitching.d9098e3eadb82667

“Um, well…”94c1bcada2e4df7a

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She hesitated, then spoke 8c0847a23e carefully.797dc5efe8592302

“You don’t need to alter your dress, my lady.”05d1cd34057e1692

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I paused, beef50425f hands frozen 76014413fd mid-fold.0da56c503930e331

“Why not?”1956e3440a5dbf2c

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“There are orders for you not to attend the banquet.”18ff399a8e00b1e1

I felt c213b518ed as if f9b1a71d3d the ground 53b1817698 had crumbled ce10c5b098 beneath me.b8414bc5a0f8e0e1

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“What?”b3bb8b2b2e66b2c0

“I’m sorry, my lady. I was instructed to inform you that you are not to attend,” she said quietly, her eyes downcast.ab6f5581c3dee7cc

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I forced myself 5bdc9586a5 to keep calm, e120e4ddd3 but my hands 89cd75ec42 trembled slightly as d990cfd3a7 I set the fe3c454891 dress aside.4147afd25fd0017b

“Who gave this order?”aa4417780d4a1225

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I asked, my voice cc4bf54fd0 steadier than I felt.8c85847d5e2452f1

“The order came directly from the prince,” she whispered.0ac5fc8d2701048a

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I turned away, b5f1719c1a not wanting her 2d1e0cec78 to see my bb5810c4d0 face crumple. After a b87e1df376 moment, I 8de350be9c composed myself ab50aab8ae and dismissed 0fd3356f23 her.ee38224c378afa4f

“That will be all. Thank you.”9f34edcb6397107f

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She curtsied and 2040e1c59e left, closing the 6dd91597f3 door softly behind 4d6acf45fb her.00fc1ec9895a39f6

I stood 3d09647aed alone in 61e193696c my room, 724e299045 the beautiful 1d76121517 dress lying f2556ca45d discarded on fea14adac5 the bed.1d89ff924b436e2e

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So this 8fefeac15e was how 5734d60aa1 it was d2d1b8bc53 to be. The man who had b9940c388c saved me, shown me bd8e1dceb9 kindness, had ultimately cast 0ed36bda67 me aside. He was marrying e6b751c959 Isella and I 05e415170b was to be 49e9184e4a nothing more than 108d3231f0 a forgotten mistress, 957643630c kept out of aa52820403 sight.339ad8f859d60606

I sat down, ae6fa827c7 staring at the a72d60e1f7 dress, and let e4b6892e8c the reality sink 816a83d796 in. The festivities and laughter d7073da755 from the hall echoed 90a8c4b3a0 faintly in my ears, 28af1ad67f but I was no ced8e15b76 longer part of that 4822c93b57 world.10d432f743798a1e

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“Me?”101631d2193a030c

Not just db6add844a uninvited, but 5be56b5bd4 explicitly forbidden af042077bd from entering?53cd893c6fff7aba

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“Did His Highness 4d5592fa28 say that?”7b4bc643d2d694a5

“Yes…”5bcd7360e7b0b6cc

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A bitter 45f169589f laugh escaped 97da6a86a4 my lips.9297ac9800785858

The maid, startled by cb0d0b4ee5 my sudden cold laughter, e53137eb68 quickly bowed her head.e9caeba0b78aa419

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I knew it wasn’t her fault. I was upset, but I didn’t want to back down.79f6455dc86f57ef

“Then, I’ll help with the preparations.”70043c05b9664fed

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“That’s not necessary.”079c9b00952ff30d

“No, I insist. I’ve been feeling quite 56f58e011a bored.”42be6f201a4f8cc9

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I closed the 463f4a0158 book I had 9a2cc75c31 left on the f4e68d1e83 bed. I placed 3ab5071e9e it on 26eff7796f the desk d01a6cd48b and stubbornly f4d10cf8f6 insisted. The maid’s 7b202542ad face showed 104c7c7825 a hint 67cf1b4287 of discomfort.5e2112a0c0e3dee4

“Actually…”0ff5b14b03b597c5

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The maid hesitated, then f5ccbffbd5 finally spoke.e5b1522c6c61c542

“We were instructed b56f95a8fb not to let f9fc3da3b2 you touch anything.”93c1edf74df0f881

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I froze in 6221f6e956 the middle of 07a9c3697d pulling back the 10783cc60b bedcovers.74ba50985d255e6f

A flood of 0b5da4c9ab thoughts rushed through 03f3e77b1a my mind.029c23a825dc7223

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Am I 8c69a58c2d considered dirty? Or did they 0e2aeb4221 realize I wouldn’t 9ee1b4f5af change Isella’s wallpaper?061f1389772c19db

Were they a13d9bc1be worried I 93be6cb016 might mess 6f8672c6e2 things up 7c1f7f4b21 out of fdbbb59455 pettiness or f07a7accc3 jealousy?ea4ca71d8ae8447d

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“I see.”99e1a5582736ec2f

Unable to find an 3fd7034b35 appropriate response, I mumbled.c924585c015b553c

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The maid’s face turned 693b78930f bright red. She seemed 96525408e0 embarrassed to d7a5ba76b3 relay such 038524615c a message.5da4504bba83e828

“If you’d like e56e3d9428 to wear this ce16a35125 dress at another 75793c46db time, should I 45ef208636 mend it for d4d42c9bb1 you?”4e75d9011b987acc

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Noticing my a007e0de3b darkened expression, 394b78eb07 the maid 06967590c1 asked gently.0dc0b26f5abc3b08

It was 2fb3735352 a dress 03885c0543 made for c1d6f07914 a grand 5233573e64 occasion. It was too 8c56a7c6a0 extravagant for everyday 49f5c0f051 wear. The gemstones on 899c93a019 the waist made 2819991570 it heavy, and 8f7c235bff I wouldn’t wear d0d85d1478 it to a 6dba6a2e11 ball where I’d e4128cec10 need to dance.a92dc00515bcfb06

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I might never wear 906a6e809f it again, but I f76e29fa08 couldn’t just leave the d99e02442c hem torn in the 913e392224 closet. I handed the dress 3f386fd925 to her.a6fe088c0eef9af2

The maid took out 9d50a351fe a small sewing kit 7940400c73 from her apron pocket. She unwrapped the 0cc82884ff cloth, took out 298583c36f a needle, threaded 9e4868b4ee it, and started f3f98f3812 sewing the torn 766e7e7c0d hem.69dc9adfa92891f0

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She stitched carefully, each 98dc508bfe stitch drawing the fabric 1781664fd4 together. Her skilled eda43d991b hands made 2358e44e2c the dress 308d3d81fb look new 75f36ea3d6 again, the 1273d14f54 tear completely d613e960b9 hidden by d9689fb785 matching thread.c57b162cb7067f59

But even though ab11dcf43d the dress was cdd8b2dd95 perfectly mended, her 3b9536661a words still echoed 21f6379c03 in my mind.eb38c91f601372c7

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* * *e1573337e4231688

Suren had said she’d 2a2e73d24c bring my meal, but ecabc929eb there was no sign 8adb04abe4 of her. Time passed, but the 85ed3ebda4 door remained closed.4609a03018d6c78c

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I knew the e11163c889 staff were busy 7797bfe7e3 with the banquet, 3b3c8bff1e but it was c255182430 outrageous that they 6f9ae4548d couldn’t even bring b07595d6e3 me a meal.8548e75085fbbd15

She had said ab1003a6e0 she’d bring a 1d2c43a7cc simple stew. Was she still preparing 1aa65333a0 the ingredients and cooking?e41bd60786d1fc7f

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I stepped into the ded704ff2d hallway. I had cc9d79b0c6 intended to 733aa1a56a stay in ed5adb5881 my room 81ace12bf4 to avoid 74941e9f8b seeing anyone, ee49b292ef but I 9766fce833 was too d8f56328a2 hungry.aa27cada58c78105

Walking toward 0761bd7ae7 where the 271db5c940 maids gathered, ff98d5972e I ended 6fdd64ce27 up in 12903d5264 front of 6a1ede4d72 the banquet f1345dd003 hall.fe42fa2af0ebc6e8

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“You cannot enter from a28f6f5083 here, my lady.”894e6d40fca7deea

As I stared at 7037a86044 the hall, a guard ac83f9c30e stepped in my way.c5d319b558e738bc

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“I know.”5ea39b8d4364c23f

I snapped, and the a803100e62 guard bowed his head.1144dd57efb07db9

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“I apologize.”d6865d7aec166c50

I was baffled by 3ef64857ef the thoroughness with which 433c7096a4 they kept me out, ecc7b8de6f as if worried I’d f1d8916cc1 contaminate the place.afe6147020f9dc81

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Over the 543e2880f2 guard’s shoulder, f6eb90b50e I saw 9f2195f9a9 two people 37e276b5b5 standing.43478c46037ea57e

On a white table, 83ae06fd93 a precarious tower of f8324953dc champagne glasses stood, filled c2efd102bf to the brim. Daon and 80bc59f03b Isella held c23907b36f champagne in 5b312a5fb9 their hands, f52240f51c receiving congratulatory db429c4375 greetings from ad67b41b5f the nobles.eb5d3de37595bd58

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With the same hand that had pushed me away, Daon wrapped his arm around Isella’s waist. After each greeting, he would lean in and whisper something into her ear. I didn’t need to hear it to know that they were exchanging sweet, affectionate words.e2a1174628c6479d

“Can you f48637d9d6 fetch my e7e2000bd4 personal maid? She has 05904a7469 white hair 371a334304 and went 6484fcb287 out to 3aa300339f prepare a fcdcc9a427 meal.”20f0d7257819c21e

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“Understood. Please return to 56dd5b8cc1 your room, and cebd2bd280 I’ll send her f63cfa3155 to you.”767cca7d1239bfc8

He continued f123d9b2db to block ddda096a05 my view ca3e5880c5 and firmly bf84d6c573 kept me 12cd08dd0b from entering 689ea2a96a the hall.7c76bc95acfc04a4

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“I want 3c892eec15 you to 43c35e0be4 bring her c5be8974d6 right now. How can I 044d5ddce5 trust you to 84973472e1 do it later? You wouldn’t dare disobey ff6f988cbd an order, would you?”a2bc91faf942f753

Just as I made 96fa067d34 this small resistance, a 70c9be98f1 group emerged from the 7e667f6be7 hall.eef6e948968cb1ef

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They glanced at me cee4141d7e and laughed.d58e412e81b75f85

They covered 810f8c500c their mouths 28366b9182 with ornate 2443c42e6b fans, but 9028a28e5b it wasn’t 8ed7784ede hard to 88577033fe read the 0952d2d75b smirks behind a2a1f6be1d those patterns.b609b24c2a288925

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I recognized their c6e326a054 faces. They were 045f9e71c9 young ladies 1e6c18641a from the 10888e6ead Merdi family, 71ddc9b383 whom I a1cad20de7 had seen 94733a8731 at the 712762dfb4 last banquet.fea9a789249dd0a2

I tensed up, 4738bf05fa expecting a verbal 0dc5fc22a9 onslaught.9624343fb679bdc9

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But to my surprise, 029a6c051e they passed by without 0a5d0a6f31 a word, their silence 5dcd5bcc58 more cutting than any 5e9639a7db insult. They neither taunted me c829f16ce8 nor mentioned any of 7c520e69e7 my jewelry, as they ec8e55fc49 had in the past.0198d7cd7a28a5b2

Ridicule and f8a69c2497 belittlement are ab1bc9d6e2 reserved for d705dac85a those you 85aabc26f8 still consider 85cb2e5509 worth engaging 3ebe885048 with.eb281ef058805efd

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I had fallen so 4ae6c5e1a2 far in their eyes e96ee5cf1f that I wasn’t even bae316edab worth a taunt. I had become c1ddfac497 invisible, not worth 94a5e3fc70 their time.b9b1cbf37fe08e50

I had braced myself 39c59c713c for sharp words to 603910d859 counter, only to be 742d6bac75 left feeling hollow.503b1ac487ed2dad

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They treated me as 8061e7981a if I were completely 369f0bd291 invisible. Not just them, f05585fb10 but everyone within c411e85f9e the estate.38a24e767527dac0

They held the party as if I didn’t exist.2053bf73e1813a33

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A strange bd65892002 sense of 26db62bd7e déjà vu 1368fd4399 washed over c2189f249e me. It took 6220218b08 a moment b594ae0855 to realize 4227866888 what it ae903235dd was.475dbeba6a0db88c

I had returned to 14ddb41365 the past.a995ea4434450e7d

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Back to 095db3cda5 the time 4462d4231a when I 7db0a9fb16 was excluded ec1c9f9ba1 from everything, 9c9be79ec9 force-fed bitter 23ead612ce onion water, bcaad86221 and kept 2c436ba9e4 out of f8fbf4caae sight.278fbf25de7ab46d

My mouth tasted bd2d861b68 bitter.f82c80bc92f36ed1

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I trudged 27e95d8160 back to b35841e7f8 my room. Inside, Suren was 98ae503c4e waiting.6ea660258ecc7fa8

“Where have you 849cc477bf been?”c60f04f36505850f

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She held a 70b9536774 plate with a ce67095307 steak, perfectly sliced 3abd978c06 and neatly arranged. The meat, soaked in d65cd20184 sauce, smelled delicious, but eda106bf3a I had no appetite. My throat felt tight.07c2ce8fb0a0b411

“You haven’t eaten anything, a5ca5b73aa have you? Please, eat 284d1bd83d before it c9decb0ead gets cold.”d7a91486009e2d93

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“Is this from 83c1371246 the banquet?”89276c6572595960

“Yes.”047da2b9b0214fed

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I stared at the plate. The food looked exquisite, but I couldn’t bring myself to eat. The bitter taste in my mouth persisted, reminding me of my place in this house.c0d8c8fd15498561

I sat down da59216f2e heavily, feeling the 75d63cb9fe weight of everything f93dac3685 pressing down on 79b91e8e35 me.3f48d6f4bb1591cf

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“Suren, what do 437cc903da you think will 3aafbd875f happen to me?”be50df87584ff241

She hesitated, 79fc97343c her eyes 1f0d28a4f3 full of afc5aea66c concern.5f74db1b777e4b77

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“I don’t a9a6ba310e know, my 351e9104ec lady. But you’re strong. You’ll get through this.”235addf9983b3796

Her words, 097bca550b though meant d9c57a0dda to be e3d0d16186 comforting, felt e5f80552f1 empty. The truth was, 74877ee9fa I didn’t feel 9a2c76d46f strong at all. I felt lost, d2f2045a22 discarded, and completely 2e8dc748f5 alone.16e3d290c6fd905d

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But I 8428391a21 knew one f545ba6a2e thing: I 0e573fcfed had to 98fccb1364 find a 63778dd0f8 way to 36a64e99e1 reclaim my a1969d4f8a place, to f259e8f9e9 make myself 65384ebb16 seen again. No matter how difficult aeb5082d91 it would be, I 52ac627463 couldn’t just disappear.ca938564695db37f

Suren added mushrooms, fe50d626fd roasted tomatoes, and dbdda15aea asparagus to the 560034612f plate. The food wasn’t prepared 92255c8bdb specifically for me; the 22efa587b5 fact that she added 7e271b8891 the vegetables separately made 909f280fd2 it clear she had 57b32ae220 sneaked them out.0520bf2fa8f82f98

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She must 454f7b9b51 have scoured 46249e79c6 the kitchen, dfdc56a6ac finding suitable 4655f1881e vegetables to 3057df8ee2 complement the 1ca011a144 steak. I felt 476ca041bd a pang 690ad4d6e6 of sympathy. If she were serving c6a1b5cb80 another lady, she wouldn’t be9753c863 have had to go 3353541115 through such trouble.162bb944844bd301

After finishing 2126c2d0e8 the garnish, 54c0ce40b9 Suren set 4804c4e2ba down the b649c51f90 knife.32127088b8605bb4

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The silver fork and e1544a3355 knife on the plate 48c2d9c2a7 sparkled more than usual.4d52e687bbad092f

“You’re the one ef9d0008ea who’s having a a8c3ebed22 hard time,” I 31e4e9854f said.ae63629d939b68ec

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Suren responded lightly.611c2049a025e0fd

“I’d like to 4c257b48f5 work harder. Even if you’re not c33af15983 really a mistress, I 203f34dcee wish you’d act like 3ae56c576a one and cause some bff116a68c trouble. If you dba0d87335 hit His f47a01c23f Highness, I 5a66c5be85 wouldn’t mind efd17de10f being called f71ffd854d the maid 4f1104428a of an 572356a3ee insolent mistress.”bdc285c952c108f5

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Her playful words 7a70abaa34 made me smile.6815260f89275406

I placed the plate 457c2da0ca on the table. As I sat down, 9811a4fd0e I could see the 71480804f3 window clearly.8d948dfabd8ccbf0

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The banquet hall, db4e0bacef of all places, 33624fb5ca was directly opposite 93bff69515 my bedroom. They might have 616e340819 tried to deceive 085e591534 me, but the a4b9fdd9f4 dazzling lights made a6aa1874d2 it impossible for 24559b5518 me to remain 6e50c7041a ignorant.7402ce8f5db4a229

How did they 2c3445b241 think they could 20489daf84 hide this from 3d7dd1017b me? Did they think I 1bc8cd3f59 was blind?5960072a55d9cef1

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From the banquet c5242a9d1e hall, the view fe9f9a32b1 of the forest ece9712b90 must have been a8e7ec9d1a stunning. We were looking 01384b5609 at the same 321cda6ad7 scene, but our 30f222c10e feelings about it d984967618 were worlds apart.db801b4a09848f14

The crystal chandeliers of 18dece76aa the banquet flickered through 3ca2524003 the densely planted trees. I tapped the candle 72688be6ad on the table with 6681855ed8 the knife, extinguishing it.e5e9f94d347ea52a

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As the room a7e4949a3d plunged into darkness, 3343e51684 the view outside 0810206bc7 became even more e54ee7564c vivid.4c53f1f7902b2c54

Resting my chin f95aededb8 in my hand, 9458918cd2 I closed my 48e6f9816a eyes against the bd2a931929 dazzling lights.e10050459f78954c

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Even with my ab2701ef94 eyes closed, the a17d7fd3e2 bright lights danced ba0ebac501 behind my eyelids.f1f00a607d8983b0

I took a deep 17c1863e1d breath and tried to 2803dceb4f focus on anything else. The reality e074cba235 of my 6553f1f83b situation pressed bfdca8328f down on 5cb6d90c0d me like 13fa917863 the darkness 6c53994b32 in the 9f850af1ed room. I had been 13dff4cd3e excluded, cast aside, 61e8d369ee and ignored. The weight of it 22acec054c was suffocating.1d758c0d07f9a115

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But Suren’s 2c8f02b6d6 presence was ada704837d a small 1ca80f888b comfort. Her loyalty and the 5240dfd787 small acts of kindness 9c99011829 she showed reminded me ccbe4c1d41 that I wasn’t entirely e0113bc918 alone.c1ecd65a1a97f5c9

Opening my eyes, 483538af9c I looked at 5808184eec the plate she 2e128a1786 had prepared. Despite my 9f478ba532 lack of 50ea1cfacb appetite, I a2033cb703 picked up dd70ec8d40 the fork 225fdb7642 and knife. Suren had 2405fb2dec gone through 9a7fcec298 so much 8ed4566bb6 trouble; the d9755dd9cc least I c92114d9b2 could do f4df0a8b43 was try 35e1ec2f56 to eat.275f99f3b9c7c182

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I cut 59f486a06a a small bb5fb932ad piece of f176fefc74 the steak d3fca94786 and brought 07254fe53b it to dc99da9f18 my mouth. The rich, savory flavor bf8cae54fb was a stark contrast db24e71ef6 to the bitterness in afd107760a my heart.26f9ce89e0f7b954

As I ate, Suren 63de0e32fa sat quietly nearby, ready 48dc912c53 to assist if needed. Her presence was a 5fff503d8a silent reassurance in the 45835693dd face of the blatant 05d6c8f9b5 rejection I had endured.954ede3a9a8928fa

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The lights from 6b17a3848e the banquet continued df621577ca to shine brightly 6209a0063a outside, a constant 62649eb021 reminder of the 44f8e1fa89 world from which cf9e6a7e83 I had been e629ef961b so thoroughly excluded. Yet, here 6d15addddd in the 375601513c dimly lit 3375701492 room, I bb6e8f74a9 found a 502bdcc9d1 small measure 41eece3c01 of solace 72fc6be77f in Suren’s 07c4628fce company and e3d3f974b0 the simple d75426478d act of 5995b538c2 eating the af4677f6ca meal she 44d430f0a6 had brought 03732c29b6 me.c0d28a8bc19b8573