CMT Ch8

“At first, I didn’t know Han Seoyoon was the second son of Daeryung Trading. I heard you recently had a blind date with Director Kwon?”

He was quite the type to make people flustered. Seoyoon couldn’t answer right away and made a hiccup-like cough. It was hard to keep up with his rapid-fire way of speaking that came at you without warning. Though the feeling was different, this part seemed similar to Kwon Kijung. Seoyoon barely managed to compose himself and answer.

“Yes. Nothing special happened. The chairman said he ordered it…”

“The resume review was before that. Don’t misunderstand, it wasn’t a nepotistic hire.”

That day was both the first and last meeting with Kwon Kijung. Though Seoyoon had worried that the director’s reason for calling him wasn’t about work, he hadn’t even considered from the start that Kwon Kijung might have had a positive influence on this summons, so he just nodded.

“Still, since I heard you had a blind date, I did ask Director Kwon. How was Han Seoyoon? Director Kwon’s eye for people isn’t bad.”

“…”

“He praised you, you know? Said you seemed like a diligent person. Meeting you myself, I agree.”

“I see.”

Though Seoyoon had been repeatedly flustered during the conversation with the director, this last bit of information was the hardest to react to normally. To hide his awkward expression, Seoyoon picked up his teacup and moistened his lips.

…Well, though he had shown an embarrassing side of himself, Kwon Kijung’s attitude hadn’t been particularly admirable either. He probably didn’t need to honestly reveal the reality of that day to the family elders. Even Seoyoon, if someone asked about Kwon Kijung, would package it with some nice words. Seoyoon smiled again.

“Thank you for the kind words.”

“When you meet him later, greet him directly. He comes here occasionally too.”

“I will.”

I’d rather avoid it if possible. Seoyoon added only in his mind.

After that, the conversation continued smoothly. The director seemed to have made up her mind to hire Seoyoon, confirming brief details about the museum and work schedule before concluding the interview. Seoyoon stood up with a light heart.

“Then I’ll see you again when I start work.”

“Have a good trip home. Ah, since you came all this way, you can look at the paintings on display now if you’d like. I’ll let them know, so take your time appreciating them.”

“Oh, is that really alright? Thank you.”

Seoyoon bowed his head without declining. It was an extravagant treat to have the closed museum all to himself. Though there were often times when preparing exhibitions that one would be left alone in an empty museum, it was rather difficult to purely enjoy the silence from a visitor’s perspective.

The special exhibition hall, which would normally have been bustling with people coming to see the paintings, was so quiet that footsteps echoed.

Whether because the director was out or because it had truly been prepared for him, despite being closed, the exhibition hall was lit as usual, so there was no difficulty in appreciating the art. Though it was quite a sunny day outside, inside the exhibition hall illuminated only by artificial lighting, the flow of outside air couldn’t be felt at all. Seoyoon liked this gentle sense of disconnection unique to museums.

As he walked slowly appreciating the paintings, Seoyoon smiled faintly at his own change. As a student, he had only focused on looking at the paintings, but working as a museum staff member, he had come to observe other things first without realizing it. Things like the color painted on the wall behind the frames, the spacing between paintings, the angle of the lighting.

Thud…

While deeply absorbed in appreciation, the sound of someone else’s footsteps could be heard from a distance. Since it was a closed day with an unexpected visitor, it was probably a caretaker going back and forth. Instead of turning to look at the source of the sound, Seoyoon moved on to the next painting.

Thud, thud, thud.

But the heavily echoing footsteps were too distinct to be those of a museum caretaker. Could it be a staff member, or another visitor who came to see the paintings? The footsteps grew closer behind Seoyoon, increasing the sense of unease before stopping beside him.

Seoyoon turned to the side with a slightly resentful feeling at having his alone time interrupted. Though he had no right to ask not to be disturbed, nor any way to know who it was even if he checked…

“…Hello.”

The hesitant silence was brief. Recognizing the person standing next to him, Seoyoon barely managed to suppress the urge to turn and flee, succeeding in greeting with a somewhat subdued voice.

He was already too close to pretend not to see and turn away. The second visitor, standing with just one frame between them, answered casually as if the chance encounter wasn’t surprising at all.

“We meet again.”

As if he had slipped out during work, he was dressed in a perfect suit again today. Quietly removing his gaze that had been fixed on the new visitor, Seoyoon slowly turned his head towards the painting hanging opposite him.

Though his movements were calm, his previously peaceful mind was becoming busily tangled. Why was this man here?

‘When you meet him later, greet him directly. He comes here occasionally too.’

The director’s words from earlier suddenly came to mind. Did she know he was planning to visit today?

Seoyoon quietly swallowed and forced himself to speak.

“Do you come to the museum often?”

“If not for work, I occasionally come on closed days.”

The exhibition hall set up despite being closed now made sense. Of course it wouldn’t have been arranged for just one interviewee like himself.

After nodding, he was at a loss for words. Seoyoon moved to stand in front of the next frame. The man who had suddenly appeared, Kwon Kijung, also slowly moved his steps.

For a while, only slow footsteps echoed as they moved from frame to frame in order. Though the paintings were no longer properly registering in Seoyoon’s eyes, he repeatedly took a step ahead to match Kwon Kijung’s pace.

In the time it took to pass three frames, Seoyoon acknowledged that there was no point in trying to gauge the atmosphere or find the right timing. He steeled his resolve and opened his mouth.

“I spoke to the director of the gallery today.”

What did she say? Kijung turned his gaze to Seoyoon, asking only with his eyes.

“The director… spoke positively about me. Thanks to that, it seems the interview results were good too. Thank you.”

Though the humiliation that had felt surreal was still not forgotten, the cleanup was entirely his responsibility. Kijung seemed to have already forgotten that day’s events and remained nonchalant.

“No need for thanks. I just said what I felt.”

“…Still, thank you.”

Kwon Kijung gestured to the painting on the wall and asked.

“Do you do explanations too?”

He was asking if Seoyoon also took on docent duties. As a student, he had volunteered a few times for course credit, and at his previous job he had occasionally filled in as a substitute during his first year, but he hadn’t done it recently. Seoyoon answered honestly.

“I used to do it occasionally in the past, but I haven’t had the opportunity recently.”

“This painting seems somewhat like a religious work.”

Seoyoon also turned to look at the painting. For the past month, the museum had been holding a special exhibition with paintings directly imported from England.

The painting in front of Kwon Kijung was a famous work that had been emphasized even in the promotional posters for this exhibition. Something anyone with an interest in art would know. Even if he didn’t have much interest in paintings, someone of Kwon Kijung’s stature would surely know this much, so the reason for demanding an explanation from him was unclear and unsettling. But Seoyoon opened his mouth as if nothing was amiss.

“You have a keen eye. Francis Bacon is sometimes called a modern religious painter. Especially the painting you’re looking at now was created with motifs from the Christian subject of crucifixion, borrowing the triptych format often used in churches. The difference from religious paintings is that while people of the past painted God, Bacon painted humans.”

“I don’t feel much holiness though.”

“Generally, religious paintings aim to convey messages like salvation, hope, or overcoming, but Bacon focused on depicting the pain and despair experienced by the human body as it is, in a sensory way. The clear images of violence with hidden perpetrators and universal suffering make the viewer feel discomfort or fear. While borrowing the form of religious paintings, it’s functionally the opposite. That’s why some critics and philosophers evaluate him from a masochistic perspective.”

Kwon Kijung nodded slowly as if there was nothing new.

“I like this painting too.”

As expected, he didn’t need a separate explanation of the work. Though Seoyoon generally enjoyed talking about paintings, the interview was already over, and it didn’t feel good to be tested by an unrelated person. Seoyoon was about to move on to the next painting without further explanation.

“I heard this painter was also whipped by his father as a child.”

But Kwon Kijung’s words weren’t finished. Seoyoon also turned to him and added.

“Yes. There are many opinions that such childhood experiences influenced his personality and works.”

“Violent images are intense and linger long in memory.”

Kijung was no longer looking at the painting.

“The same goes for Han Seoyoon.”

“…Pardon?”

“Surprisingly, I’ve thought about it for quite a while. What I saw then.”

Thud. Kijung took another step closer to Seoyoon. Seoyoon’s gaze rose a little higher.

“After leaving like that that day, I became a bit curious.”

“…”

“Is there someone who whips Han Seoyoon too?”

Seoyoon faced the man who had approached him, barely able to breathe properly. The air in the museum that had felt tranquil suddenly became tense, as if even its peaceful flow had stopped.

The sharply honed air hurts. A feeling like an invisible blade hovering just out of reach, measuring the distance near his cheek. A sense of déjà vu like standing before a watchtower washed over him, making him dizzy. He hurriedly bit the inside of his trembling lips.

“I don’t understand what you’re suddenly talking about.”

“You showed me that day, didn’t you? Han Seoyoon’s unique hobby.”

His tone was flippant, as if asking why he was pretending not to know. Only Seoyoon’s complexion was growing increasingly pale in front of the man acting so nonchalant.

“Who made them? Those wounds.”

“Director, if you’re trying to insult my parents…”

“Can’t you just be honest?”

If you don’t want others to be suspected, just confess. He had the expression of someone who knew everything but was still asking. Seoyoon answered, feigning composure as best he could.

“I did it to myself.”

His mouth was dry, making the sentence come out somewhat disjointed. Finding it absurd to be saying such things now, Seoyoon forcibly took a deep breath. His long eyelashes trembled finely beneath his lowered eyelids. In contrast, there was no change in Kijung’s face.

“Is it some kind of superstition or religious ritual?”

“No.”

“Do you do it often?”

“Only occasionally.”

“Have you ever asked someone else? Not just for making wounds, but things like beating, anything.”

“No.”

“It seems you have times when you want to hurt.”

Times when you want to hurt. Seoyoon mulled over those words. Well, he wasn’t sure. It was just that confusion sometimes came that could only be driven away by the sharp sensation of pain rather than being welcome. It would have been nice if he had looked for other methods from the start, but for now he didn’t know of a faster or more efficient way.

“Then the person whipping Han Seoyoon is Han Seoyoon himself.”

It wasn’t wrong. Seoyoon neither confirmed nor denied it. As he stood there without answering, he only wondered why the man was interested in such a thing. The reason why this man, whom he had believed he would never meet again, kept reaching for his intimate and sordid parts.

When Seoyoon opened his mouth again after pondering in silence, his tone had also sharpened.

“…Was our meeting here today a coincidence?”

“Didn’t you hear from the director?”

“She only said you come occasionally.”

“She must have forgotten since it was a trivial matter.”