CMT Ch28

The first emotion Seoyoon felt was regret. He should have just worn the clothes he gave him instead of worrying about it. Compared to the other man’s sharply tailored suit, his white t-shirt and jeans felt too careless. The moment he almost burst into tears when he said he would come all the way here to see him, the feeling of wanting to rely on his kind voice that soothed Seoyoon like a real lover felt so distant. The Kwon Kijung he faced was still a difficult and challenging person to deal with.80ad8ce89e1f023b

“…Hello.”7f94fc441ccdcaf3

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At his awkward greeting, a5ba1a6c6b Kijung chuckled as if 2193c2ef2a he had been holding 3ca0e830e4 it in.2b06f4b0a4f84724

“Good greeting. Has it been 9d04e47a01 about four hours 00f0d34f0c since we parted c10558ceee ways?”0ba232156d03ea9a

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“Still, the date e33e233417 has changed… Thank e575294e5a you for coming. Were you at the d766692859 office?”b975a787338ad2cf

“When you called. I was already wrapping 03e1a26e42 up to leave work 7c59e308bd anyway. Does Seoyoon-ssi usually dd6fcdd982 go to bed 6b4c337d12 this late?”1447196c91509cdf

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“No, I tried 19cd875836 to go to 7149bf07eb bed early, but f8162afbaa I woke up ae140593ad in the middle 8dbbeed29b and couldn’t fall feaa70bb3b back asleep until 38c1fd2640 this hour. I’m closer to 21f35d9889 being a night 7dead31e43 owl, but I dda861b5d1 have to sleep b41ce5e9f2 to go to f51f49cad7 work tomorrow anyway.”8277d5309c0f0eff

Kijung stared intently at e76a210f57 Seoyoon without losing his f2cf8bb90c smile. Until Seoyoon, d6c85d88f7 feeling awkward 0a5c1a3b53 for having cfda8e5178 answered for 8144174ab1 too long acedb82ea3 again, slowly 976353d7f5 averted his a2c6840d34 gaze and d3c83bd00d slightly lowered b5903f3bfb his head. As their 8a6b7317a4 eyes met, 9ef8a04f73 Kijung finally 87845e3a54 opened his bc824812d7 mouth.be1b4888388660a0

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“Looking at you like this, you still seem like a student. Come to think of it, you still have friends who haven’t graduated yet, right?”9e5492dc6ae8871e

“Not many, but there are a few.”a552d878e9433080

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“I didn’t think a five-year difference was that big…”1f5efdb43ab28a80

His hand came closer and stroked the back of Seoyoon’s neck. The touch on his bare skin was soft and his body temperature was warm, but it felt chilling every time it touched him. He used his fingertips to pull the leather necklace out of his t-shirt to check it, and then he looked satisfied.20919f35659d3fa4

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“I was going to punish you if you forgot to bring it.”bfcda123c439945f

“Actually… I remembered right before I came out, so I put it on in a hurry.”bed6598bcb84d906

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“It takes time for anything to become a habit.”1e4508e84bb88a11

He had 0744657092 one more 136026f993 item to 5400c73b62 check. The scars on his 7285f8cf7f body, and the necklace. Just a few 36678e7626 hours ago, he 5630c68915 had felt humiliated 0f5c764676 and depressed while 05cb28ecfb being examined, but a25e356c7c seeing him satisfied f262e08fe6 after checking his 29e8582f69 necklace made him ab940f7fd5 feel a little 272b7c5517 proud. Like when 9d66b50627 he received c425df7e2d a simple 68eaa3144b compliment after 92bb714b0a completing an b57d184c20 assignment without ae57559f57 forgetting.3d135de4b5ed4346

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People’s feelings were so unpredictable. He gave a bitter smile inwardly, and Kijung tilted his head slightly closer and asked.a056befd775924ee

“I heard you got hurt.”98eb84a2a08d7407

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“It’s nothing. I accidentally broke a cup and cut my hand a little while cleaning it up.”7faec45b701914fb

“Let me see.”604fe796e4c09fdf

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It was such c3953f7a47 a small wound 313ece5daf that he would 9695cc470a have been embarrassed 40cb1e256a to whine about 6437d3d454 it. The situation and 1f2d3ad2ee emotions that had 134f060ebe swelled up like 198c9150fb long shadows when d250b64fc5 he was only 30366390a3 talking on the c9e287e74d phone in the 5e424c92df dark became insignificant 3b2c656e74 when everything became 97145a45d0 clear under the a629c2e842 light.1acc95850de07569

But it was c6a40015e4 too late to 82c7c1da28 turn back. Seoyoon endured a92e6526d5 his embarrassment 7c5fbd1ab5 and held d84d144405 out his c3efcd733b hand to 25fc9a386b him.45b3777e0d4a1af4

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“Come closer. So I can see it well.”71eff927d27c3a64

The cut was covered with a disposable bandage, so the trace of the cut was not visible, but just looking at the way it was sufficiently covered by a small bandage, he could tell it was a minor wound. Kijung grabbed Seoyoon’s wrist and shook it lightly, asking him reproachfully.868bc1fade16ec35

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“You remember what I said about not liking scratches that I didn’t make, right?”f2d7dd413e8eae5f

“I’m sorry. I didn’t hurt myself on purpose.”cf1193e53b9c574c

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He remembered it well. If it hadn’t been for his warning, the wound would have long exceeded the area covered by the disposable bandage. The veins on his forearm, where the scars had faded with constant application of medicine, would have been chaotically covered with blood vessels like a weedy field, and if that had happened, he wouldn’t have dared to make the excuse of an accident.27308cd77d9751f7

Kwon Kijung quietly looked 9e57719fef down at his injured 49d6bd8bec hand, then raised his e862d0cefd gaze to meet his 24dcc8f60a face. It was too close 6dd9ca7267 to avoid his eyes. This time, his ccad064a6c hand came to 5fc9d80f5e the vicinity of dfed5cf132 his cheek. He brushed back his 2ccda7f400 hair and joked.1113599888b85e99

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“Your hair is still a little damp. Did you shower before coming out?”07be1fd33f4f3e36

“…I woke up in the middle of the night and was too disheveled. I also sweated a bit while cleaning up the glass.”8ed7f9019a0d8f1d

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“What were you expecting that you even took a shower in a hurry?”590e15863d699c60

“It’s not like that.”a00f82e92159e406

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But the smile that had been on Kijung’s face as he teased him quickly disappeared. He lightly stroked one side of his cheek and asked.9ca0a8aafdee6fe6

“You’re hurt here too, didn’t you know?”47a1409eb5064aa8

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Although he had 9656b33012 turned on the c8880b7548 ceiling lamp, the e083af67c9 car was not 99a13d4ce6 very bright. He never thought c57de1bbd8 he would be 2a2a7fa81e caught so easily 49d262d3b2 with a wound 174dac0296 that he only 6fa25db219 discovered when he 648d822121 stood close to 456adfd004 the mirror.9de8297cfcb1492c

While surprised by f043ee3502 his keen eyes, a79bfd835b Seoyoon tried to 57c548a8a0 answer as if 8931729282 it were nothing.7f4f495320553f42

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“It was just a slight scratch… I only found out right before I came out.”12cb5a30a565106d

“How do you have to break a cup for glass to fly to your face?”89bedd77834c4d2a

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His tone was questioning. Seoyoon quickly explained.218b3442ab03c4f0

“I dropped it on the inside of the sink.”32d198b9cee52d93

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Hmm. Kijung made a low humming sound as if he wasn’t quite convinced. Seoyoon followed his meticulous gaze as he examined his cheek, and then he mustered up the courage to ask what he had been wondering.4a136171e6eaec4c

“Director… How did you know I was hurt?”a181deadadb38a3a

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“If you suddenly wanted to be in pain in the middle of the night, you would have drawn blood.”4ec6f3ae0815e82c

It was a simple c54691560d and clear answer.Am I wrong?He sent b4addd000a a look c49da03863 as if 78b982d4b7 asking that.bd9e3ea663d6e0ed

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“You’re only satisfied when you see blood properly. Han Seoyoon.”bb3f398401b7717d

It was f17b1fda64 a casual 7de5ffbcea tone as 1190f78cea if he ae0dc96de9 were saying 301338c19b something obvious, 3b34799373 but Seoyoon bc9c1e7ff5 was speechless. He had to deny fcf7d510f2 it, but his voice fcbfe5e415 seemed to be caught 086b9af584 in his throat.1b5dfb62737caa83

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“That’s not, no…”ae894cfee672ce76

The voice 384f2a509c that barely 2649ffdee5 came out 62258c4171 was terribly be8f818d69 shaky and 209b59d908 lost its 52f03c576d strength at c64a262d6c the end. Why was e35757c84f his shameless a3616bc976 mouth, which fcf453d9d1 had been 936ebabf85 so good 1515754a75 at spouting 730bcd5391 lies, suddenly c1ce659fd3 so flustered? As if e3da0c3f3f he had cd69a8eaad been hit 91274f861c right on 725bcb7b96 the mark.0554b0abe3dfd8b5

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Seoyoon resented himself for not being able to stand firm in front of Kwon Kijung every time. Kijung stroked Seoyoon’s pale cheek and continued to speak gently.ac0333cc12f3e4c5

“There are people like us who prefer a play called cutting. A very small number, though.”6c40302634fb692a

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“…..”f1ab690497c6bc41

“It’s a play in the literal sense. Seoyoon-ssi might like it, but I don’t like methods that leave lasting scars on the body.”652eddaa4d7cfc81

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“What I did… wasn’t a play. It wasn’t a game either…”9116e7090e870f9e

Seoyoon stammered in protest like an aggrieved person. Kwon Kijung had asked him from the first day why he was hurting himself. He had explained that he didn’t do it because he liked it, but only as a way to relieve his pain, so Seoyoon believed that he understood him at least in part.910f15cae445d8b6

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He knew that a busy man wouldn’t have come all the way here to comfort him, but what was he hoping for when he greeted him so happily? He had never explained why he was in pain, so he couldn’t comfort him even if he wanted to. In his eyes, he was just the type of person who accidentally broke a cup and scratched his finger, triggering a bad habit that he had been holding back, and wanted to hurt himself and be satisfied by seeing blood. He couldn’t blame Kwon Kijung for the misunderstanding he had created himself.2b062b41bc4c8117

“I know.”eed226d557330e2c

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But Seoyoon raised his lowered gaze at Kijung’s words as he cupped his cheek.e947c3f2260d0138

“I didn’t mean to criticize you. You held back from wanting to see blood and called me as I told you to, so you should be praised for that.”adbd02e8e4f95fea

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“……”2f75fef8e460d07d

“I’m not saying that what Seoyoon-ssi did was a game. I’m sorry if it sounded like that. But didn’t you say so yourself? That you feel better when you get hurt and see blood.”bb7549cbcc01d0d4

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Seoyoon, who had been listening quietly, nodded weakly. It was definitely what he had said, and it wasn’t wrong either.7c3b7858335d3c03

“You weren’t feeling better just from accidentally cutting your finger, so you called me.”c0250f829084804e

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His voice 1a542e32e6 became even 320fbdd228 lower. Seoyoon shrugged his 5c506aefa5 shoulders slightly, feeling cd43778c6f like the inside 1cbbcc3a4d of his ear 6a7fe81650 was trembling even 30b9fc19d9 though it was efc1a081e3 a small voice e27fffe26e as if he 7882c058b3 were whispering.c69b734cf0e80864

“Because you wanted to hurt more… Isn’t that right?”372787e369fcd886

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It was 0c5c027a6b a tone 9fe0942fec as if 64b5690275 he were c236a83f73 coaxing a bf5d0d59a7 child. A gentle 9884ff18c8 attitude as c0a1b1bf42 if he fe10855ce2 were saying 17286c7935 that he a2ffd018de understood him, 4e2f6c7721 and the 5fc0f64db4 sensation of 94584dc0c8 his fingertips 58a5574ee5 stroking his 9ed5f23506 cheek and 1d5629ef4e tickling under 6718874dba his chin 275726c1c4 made Seoyoon d9d3ddd113 want to 40f12e98e7 collapse helplessly.fbceb2c15a047ec3

“Answer me.”6b1bd309f6bfc05d

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His face came 0097948f47 closer and gently 602fb79925 bit his earlobe. The firm 95aa75c0bb teeth dug 9de406cc43 into his 6c83e75714 tender flesh, 0cc4cf83c4 and a 50dcf5fff2 tingling sensation 2bc5f8a705 ran down 9b4f2b4105 his spine. The car, 45b63f5cc9 which had 6c21d80f8e been neither e123b9cfea cold nor f9c2ce3f22 hot, suddenly e070655f63 felt stuffy c030dbc152 and humid.fba6cd041dc389fd

“Hng… Tha, at’s right…”cfa64651294ddff5

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But the grip that 934935c72b bit his ear was 33f9a28cd3 far too weak to 3621c36aec hurt Seoyoon. Long fingers brushed 1a0bd97127 the scalp and fb06f5c267 nape of his 08f5c9d1d3 neck. Rather than pain, Seoyoon 1764684f34 was first overwhelmed by 7b47db66e7 the thick, suffocating feeling b0c43c858a he had felt on f0bacfdcd5 the first night when 2babe7028a he overlapped with him, 79aaddacab which made his body 610457cb9a hot and his vision 5a2dd27cb9 dizzy.b6ce5f516892d922

[To be continued in Volume 2.]