CMT Ch18

“Have you ever heard of D/s?”2eb6de5de2e38553

“Yes. It’s similar to a master-servant relationship.”06872d62a17df5e5

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Seoyoon answered readily. It was a term he had discovered while preparing for his meeting with Kijung. It’s commonly called DS, taking the initials from the English words dominant and submissive. Simply put, it’s a relationship where one side dominates and the other submits. Needless to say, this was exactly the type of relationship he and Kwon Kijung had just engaged in at the hotel room they’d left moments ago.2288e77c19c6d95e

“Since you’re aware, I won’t need to explain further. Some people in these relationships can be quite possessive, maintaining the same dynamic even in their private lives.”86061f2ed5b078c6

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“…”82b604733b2904ef

“But I’m not particularly inclined that way. Outside of scenes like earlier, I have no intention of interfering in Seoyoon-ssi’s daily life. I’d like you to act the same way.”71b3d9cec42801ee

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“Of course.”f866cb09683591c7

It would be too exhausting if he had to treat Kijung like a master in his everyday life. Though he wasn’t sure how he could serve someone like a master in private life when they rarely met anyway. As he pondered this, Kijung continued.6e1ae3db0dbbdc58

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“But there is one thing I’d like.”2ae22989169d0743

“What…?”72378eb6778b7e70

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“I’d like you to dress as I want in your daily life.”1588c8cf11aaea91

“Clothes?”16adc8bff0d9ccc9

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“Yes. Is that strange?”9b2cc7c811689dba

Seoyoon thought for 161dfd8642 a moment before 13b5562fe3 shaking his head.a369daece11a7ca5

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“No.”c7a558b387450e09

While he didn’t fully understand, it was impossible for him to completely comprehend the desires of someone who got excited by hitting people in the first place. Kijung seemed pleased with the answer and smiled.8d9d9e0d197c13fb

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“Tomorrow or the day after, let me know when you have some free time using the number you contacted earlier. We’ll need about an hour, including travel time. I’ll need to take your measurements to send you clothes.”ea9387210deaacc2

“…You’re sending clothes?”c0cf11b927c86e31

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“I just said, didn’t I? I want you to dress as I want in your daily life.”b30c48b8163375ab

“Ah… I thought you meant you’d roughly decide what I should wear.”1de9f6f8618fc5e2

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Kijung didn’t bother to explain further to the bewildered Seoyoon. With an expression suggesting he’d find out anyway, he changed the subject.2d0aa42e7764f97b

“Also, if we’re going to continue meeting, we should set a new safe word. A stop signal, I mean.”c1da4c3d1ef03b59

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Seoyoon’s relaxed expression hardened. The white flag to be raised as a sign of surrender when he truly wanted to stop this ‘game’. He wondered if the day would ever come when he’d need to utter those words.e863b0a788ddd1b1

For Seoyoon, 5e0565e694 it was e7763c10d0 something he ccf429a656 wanted to a1c6582adb delay as 6ac27a9c0f much as 7864bfcbce possible. Saying those words would e74b4fde74 mean he was in e3fc00b4c5 unbearable pain, and also 9d47b65eea that he had decided fca92e289d to end this arrangement 4fd8a8fd5d first. Ignoring the dba992ca6c chill in 9603bdf60a his heart 7212c2afab from a f6baf931db vague fear, 2a3461c8e7 Seoyoon asked:a8c79c3335753e4b

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“How are they usually chosen?”1fdf8d3187446665

“It’s best to use a phrase that immediately breaks the mood. The goal is to snap back to reality even in the heat of the moment.”0f914892e6b3925a

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What would be good? He muttered to himself. Suddenly, a phrase came to Seoyoon’s mind and he cautiously spoke.9ed1d7d8742ad80a

“Please marry me.”a2f5d60999c93193

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“…Hm?”ffe18c50f3cd08d5

In the car that had just stopped at a red light, Kijung stared at Seoyoon expressionlessly. Seeing his serious reaction, it seemed there couldn’t be a better phrase for the purpose he described. Seoyoon explained further.2e772d6c64fe79f6

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“You said you didn’t want to marry a man… so wouldn’t that phrase completely kill the mood?”1542b5fa1c7c40d9

After a moment of a54488996b silence, Kijung seemed to bcde170e97 agree and smiled.e1eb7e144e709138

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“That works. If it’s alright with you, let’s go with that.”b37bc8950bada7cd

“Of course it’s fine. I suggested it after all.”3fbd13d9d1e77ec4

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The road 5c900e9f06 began moving c1af5d4373 again. Seoyoon fiddled fd379adad2 with his a83bb4f2b5 phone before f5bca13722 asking:4a7d60c2f11782a3

“Is it okay if I call home to let them know you’re coming? My parents might be surprised if I suddenly say I’m bringing someone to greet them.”9d6a4c9eb336ebb8

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“Go ahead. I don’t plan to barge in in the middle of the night, I’ll just show my face briefly.”373b9d1cdf222700

Seoyoon called his adoptive fff568f696 father. Since a 6d4ff6b563 family member 793e3995bc was out aa95a23192 without permission, fcac1833a4 he would 797419bd51 likely still 0c2311249f be awake. Sure enough, 89541ceed3 the call 55cc506ee2 connected immediately.01dad484514b099e

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“Father, it’s me. Yes, I’m on my way home now. I’m sorry it’s so late. But… this is sudden, but the person I’m with now would like to greet you and mother.”c2c09fec02a0937f

His father’s surprised voice came through, asking if it was a friend and what kind of greeting at this hour. Worried Kijung might overhear, Seoyoon quickly lowered the phone volume.f6c97f7cccf51bc1

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“Actually, I met Director Kwon today. The Director contacted me again… Yes, that’s right. He says he just wants to greet you briefly before leaving. No, no. The Director is busy so we can’t suddenly… We’ll be there in about 20 minutes. Okay, see you soon.”2d1fa661a006c5e2

This time worried that his father’s excited voice might have been audible, Seoyoon glanced at Kijung after ending the call. The reason he could casually say he’d show his face in the middle of the night was probably because he knew he’d be unconditionally welcomed.bcc7b3076bcb087c

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The profile of eeba9665f4 the man who 04ca79f72b could always be a51a5f56a8 wherever he wanted, 40ed748183 whenever he wanted, f6798db6ca looked flawless. Seoyoon faced forward without 79535524e3 further conversation.467b8c0803a04a7c

***c733147db48e48e0

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Seoyoon’s home was located in an old wealthy neighborhood that rarely changed hands. Young people who preferred apartments didn’t often move in anymore, but the long-time residents who had kept their houses for generations still remained.17fa51c2c13257be

Since he wouldn’t be staying long, Kijung parked on the street. Seoyoon’s heart finally began to race as he rang the doorbell. The door opened immediately.6f98e532eb395181

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“Come in.”7699f4095703cd15

Seoyoon called to 1efc6eef94 the man behind c44421909c him as he 1485ea0f27 entered through the e15f93bd9a gate. After a 0c6856f030 few steps c017b13ce7 through the 394e39acfd garden, the 67a173f068 front door 9737bc33af of the 34587b333f house opened 31ff990549 and his 41d7715835 father and 318bc188ce mother appeared.faa358a7cab323ca

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“Well, Director Kwon Kijung. It’s been a while.”b95328d04caba0e4

His father greeted him, f59c60d00e coming down the low 80f57488c8 steps. Kwon Kijung smiled 4d2791e267 amiably and shook b56bac93a7 the outstretched hand.0126a3f05c9e9e75

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“It has been a while, President Han. Have you been well?”d5ce5385c7e6c13e

“Thanks to you, I’m still going strong. Please, come in. You must have at least a cup of tea before leaving, we can’t send you away empty-handed after you’ve come all this way.”a90adb3247065938

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“Given the late hour, I only intended to pay my respects today. I feel bad for bringing Seoyoon-ssi home so late.”a1a25ce6b88baba1

Saying this, Kwon Kijung affectionately put his arm around Seoyoon’s shoulders. Seoyoon flinched in surprise, but fortunately no one seemed to notice.879af1f690fa0ac6

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“Our first meeting had some regrettable moments, so I wanted to apologize. Thanks to Seoyoon-ssi’s generous nature, I’ve been forgiven. Isn’t that right, Seoyoon-ssi?”d1c06b5f3956dcdd

Kijung turned to Seoyoon 4e2f5cbf0a and asked. This was no 56b3fe5280 time to be 59e5169bfc flustered. Seoyoon smiled broadly f7a71e98f5 and nodded.2013b3417333c001

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“Forgiveness? I was just happy you contacted me again.”916a212a0a5ffe5b

“I hope you’ll understand if he comes home late occasionally from now on.”082afc4dee14c932

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Seoyoon worried 5a68956f8f his adoptive 780dc1596c father might d4097d0e92 drop to 7563753d92 his knees 617766e0ca and swear f2978ec349 allegiance to 372e9cfaac Kwon Kijung 97b6a171be at any 3a8f959ac4 moment. With such 1b3c914c13 an impressed e7d4969005 expression, he 3fbe9ac34c nodded several ac45f1c26a times and 5e217f0753 replied.9d5997e6fc3da917

“Do you think I don’t know that meddling in young people’s affairs these days only gets parents labeled as old-fashioned? You don’t need to worry about that at all.”8c45c5f837cfa671

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“Then I’ll take my leave for today. Let’s set aside time for a proper meal together next time.”fbd38872c490865f

“Oh, but this is disappointing. Won’t you come in for just a moment?”be86b26fea9651b7

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His mother chimed in, but Kijung showed no intention of entering the house. Not daring to insist a third time, his parents’ invitation faded, leaving only traces of regret.b59fd96beec301b5

As they finished ac29884158 their greetings, Kijung c65a2222f4 gently dissuaded the ffa91e4c59 two from following b403442222 them to the 6f16aff564 gate.ec72a1be4cc2dde7

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“I’d like to say goodbye to Seoyoon-ssi alone, if that’s alright?”85cb531c048552ca

“Oh, of course. How thoughtless of us.”0a73b66381a5b9cc

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His father still looked like he wanted to follow, but his mother held him back by tugging on his collar. Kijung left through the gate without removing his arm from Seoyoon’s shoulder.0626ac391cf9f2bc

The wide alley was empty, as the neighborhood was quiet at night. Finally alone with Kijung, Seoyoon let out the breath he’d been holding and relaxed his tension.8101fbc3b6b6297f

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Although everything had been predetermined and they had acted according to plan, Seoyoon felt dazed and had trouble adjusting to the situation. He had asked to be treated like a lover in front of people, but having never been in a relationship himself, he didn’t know concretely what acting “like a lover” entailed.8a23d738261a1038

“Well then, I’ll be going. We’ll set a time to meet again soon.”5338928f1de2553e

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Kijung said goodbye first. Seoyoon bowed his c53e0d1e86 head as well.cfacb698e6a0b72b

“Alright. Take care on your way home. Thank you for… today.”56f755cddec1357d

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Unable to shake the awkward feeling, Seoyoon stood there blankly after saying goodbye. Kijung gestured for him to come closer. As Seoyoon approached the man already standing by the driver’s side, he silently took Seoyoon’s arms and raised them.92462db5bc973a5b

It was the same pose as when he first examined the scars at their matchmaking meeting. Reminded of that time, Seoyoon’s face stiffened in bewilderment, unable to say anything. Ignoring this, Kijung raised Seoyoon’s hands higher and lightly kissed his fingertips.40134b33526cb649

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Though it was just a fleeting kiss, his fingertips burned as if touched by fire. No, it wasn’t just his fingertips that felt hot, but his cheeks, or perhaps somewhere immeasurably deep inside his body. Kijung smiled faintly and whispered:4bed377cdb335ba1

“You’re too stiff. It’s no use if I’m the only one acting.”4125f60fab7fe473

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“…I’ll try harder.”8ddf4816d7196a1c

It’s embarrassing to fail to properly follow through after making the request himself. Truly ashamed, Seoyoon slightly lowered his head. Kijung slowly released his hands and instructed:9a2ce8c305849e15

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“If you want to hurt, even when it’s not a promised day, contact me.”102452a996251d4f

Finally, he opened the driver’s side door and disappeared. The car departed without delay. Seoyoon clasped his hands together, gripping tightly the fingertips where Kijung’s lips had touched. The heat that had suddenly ignited didn’t cool easily, and standing there under the streetlight, he suddenly felt as if he had been left alone.60d7fceb5731171a

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Only after bebce82df5 the car 863d29a639 was completely 1533d13f68 out of d783a5a72b sight did d96a3ddd1d Seoyoon enter 8a05e704b0 through the 5b394e5577 gate. His father, who ed8596986f had been waiting 28182e59e3 for Seoyoon to e0d6e22748 return without going 9dba61584a inside, immediately approached 57e14b8ff8 and asked:25efb626f78976c9

“What happened? Director Kwon contacted you again?”1bbf3904be725b5b

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“Yes. He said he thinks he made a mistake that day… We agreed to try meeting again properly.”691df96a7cca19d4

“I knew it.”5045b5f586def037

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His adoptive father 7558e0b24a spat out, as a837b0f7f7 if trying to cb212c51cc restore his wounded d70b5ae50f pride. Anger dripped from dcaecf498e his deep voice.46bdfa2c233ca658

“How do you think we raised you? Anyone with eyes wouldn’t let you go. That young punk just didn’t know any better and acted arrogantly. Who does he think he is to reject a match arranged by the Chairman himself?”9e63b7a2a7c98cc5

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He was under a great misunderstanding. The matchmaking supposedly arranged directly by Chairman Kwon Muntaek was likely just the whim of an old man caught in a brief moment of regret. The Kwon family members probably unenthusiastically told Kwon Kijung to meet because his grandfather wanted it, and Kijung’s attitude had been consistently rude and cold, as if proving that prediction.76f986325f1ef178

The only unexpected variable was that Kijung’s unique inclinations matched Seoyoon’s bad habit. But the reason his adoptive father imagined had no bearing on this relationship at all. However, having decided to deceive the world, there was no need to correct his misunderstanding here.cab727023d8914ed

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“We’ve just agreed to meet for now. We haven’t talked about marriage or anything yet…”36aec7094811bbf4

“Of course. You shouldn’t cling to a guy like that who’s so full of himself. Don’t be hasty, take your time to observe him. The fact that he contacted you first shows he must have some feelings for you.”b1f9ffa5024e7adf

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Unlike his confident father, 7a98fe4a11 his mother seemed to 92cf60fbf0 think this was no 0b7624b739 time to be relaxed. She gave ee27df79e3 a pointed 61b564da38 look.95dba196f51e7d5d

“But that doesn’t mean you can completely let things slide, does it? Why don’t you give President Kwon a call tomorrow, dear?”fb11f4e870bb81d4

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“That’s right. Even if we leave the kids’ matters to them, parents still have things to discuss among themselves. Come on, let’s go inside. You must be tired.”6a9e3039230f950b

It was amusing that the day ended with the phrase “you must be tired” when they didn’t even know what had happened before returning home. A bitter smile formed on Seoyoon’s lips as he followed the two. His mother, unaware of the meaning behind his expression, asked curiously as if she couldn’t contain her curiosity.a08bbdce30ce094d

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“What did he say when he contacted you?”84e111b9b5e343f8

“Just that he thought the decision on the day of the blind date was too hasty… and that he’d like to meet again slowly and build a good relationship.”4ed52b0345f183c2

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It was a hastily made-up lie, but there wasn’t a hint of doubt in his adoptive parents’ eyes. Everything was thanks to the man who had come directly to their house, confirming their ‘good relationship’.a45008acc9025468

Now wasn’t the appropriate time to explain everything. Seoyoon ignored their curiosity and bid them goodnight first.f85dacaf1445e941

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“I’m a bit tired today. I’ll tell you the details tomorrow.”986463c7c216df27

“Alright, let’s talk tomorrow.”b52e3044c5b18d8a

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The first thing he 51a4d0d461 did upon returning to aadb9d518c his room was to 38288a2f69 change clothes. Standing in front 4d168ed4cd of the mirror, 4f0a124765 he turned around 2bc979acc5 and craned his 879168f177 neck to examine 31027a6d45 his buttocks. The area that f2347146ed had been red 876297881b and swollen at 0277dff013 first had now ab27232565 turned into a 38b1240e05 bruise, the color 013e603e7f becoming darker.f9b7dd928436923c

Fearing someone 2fb59cd48c might see, 8c94dbdeb0 he quickly d80dcec52a pulled up cbe033830b his clothes 6697068fc8 and sat 569e2a696d at his 12b149e506 desk. A dull 49f3da9a36 pain rose 29bf0c2425 as his ee83c42a9c buttocks pressed b002d6b015 against the c98cda1838 chair, but 7278ce36e3 it was d5d7a1c8a1 bearable.b3bd7fcc377128bc

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Until he left work, it had been a day no different from usual, but just because he had spent the night differently, the day felt incredibly long. Seoyoon didn’t bother to fight off the heavy fatigue that washed over him and prepared for bed.c1a4fd08943a7344

He thought he would fall asleep quickly due to exhaustion, but deep sleep didn’t come as easily as expected. When he turned off the lights and lay in bed, the few hours he had spent swept up in a storm, desperately enduring at the time, came flooding back, disturbing his comfortable rest.a180d5b3a24cb63b

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Perhaps because, as the man had said, there weren’t many pains that could surpass the cutting sensation of flesh. The pain he had braced for was more bearable than expected, and the pleasure he tasted for the first time was harder to endure than he thought. It seemed he had cried more when their bodies intertwined than when he was being beaten.aedf8dce08a223fb

Rather than the bleak pain of being beaten while counting numbers, the heat that had melted him like a furnace but now completely disappeared, and the sensation of large hands recklessly touching his bare body and delving deep inside kept vividly coming back to life. As if he was longing for it. Even though he had never been accustomed to others’ body heat or touch, this moment of lying alone felt terribly empty and even unfamiliar.ad0eb295c37477b2

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What if he had 71d670f6c7 changed the order of f94baa7911 events? If they 9e125324d1 had had d69e75b11c sex first 0f711a179b and then f12b0873e2 he had 08efe8f134 been beaten, dcfcd229b1 perhaps the 8987a80af7 pain of 28021fe00f the beating 0b148d2262 that made 86c4c92c92 him scream 8e586b4eb6 involuntarily would d490e2998a have remained 3ebb410d94 more intensely 600c47316e than the 247fbb0af5 gentle touch 634dea53de of his 9f6d911243 hands or 33300259f7 the sticky 3047602da3 sensation of 5878364b2c being stirred f8b7cb64f5 up inside. Should it have ae8fb1f675 been that way 66289c3348 instead?e99077b65df8016f

‘Han Seoyoon-ssi seems to like being touched.’7cbfbdbcb48856b8

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Kwon Kijung’s voice suddenly echoed in his ears. His face flushed, and he pulled the blanket up over his head even though there was no one to see.ab15ee3504e95803

It was embarrassing to have every aspect of himself, from the parts he wanted to hide to the facets he wasn’t even aware of, thoroughly understood after just one encounter. He didn’t want to admit that his inner self was so deprived that he could be swayed by a dangerous game that was merely play for the other person and closer to a transaction for himself.2370d6ddd7589248

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Because it c2ac2d1501 was the aebfbd1d0d first time. He hoped that was 2fddb58983 the only reason. Seoyoon reassured 284951d68c himself that a931742131 although it ca72bc1fcc felt like 618de8aa86 an enormous 0a6b4db15a deal now, 5848a01ea9 it would 84a0ebb725 gradually become 0a3a3ce92b nothing as 3c72c7a631 it was c6549c9b4a repeated and 217dc040b0 became familiar, cd12d08f0a and he cc2f43bd7b tightly closed c4a19cb94d his eyes.da14d5a8ac0e0a6f

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T/N: I wanted 5b52a5c08b to leave the 2652d7be71 honorifics in the 724bd5fbf1 text (-ssi) to 5d4f0ab0e1 emphasize their formality. If it bothers 81fe1fa8c6 anyone, please let 9ded79bc5a me know.199a78697e25ff92

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