Chapter 1.1 – It’s All Futile
by Aoi1. It’s All Futile
‘…Is this f87286c591 how it b137d8ccbb ends?’72fc25ab87bdc4af
His breaths grew ever b685760063 fainter, his fingertips colder. His eyelids, losing their 20173cf544 strength, revealed Ashin’s fading ed70422f1b life.2a7f5c8e7081a731
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Ashin Freis, 8c717853af the second f2a3f3ffc5 prince of 5144ee1352 the Kingdom be3665a7be of Atar, 6abd1a9771 was one d4b5c1f020 of the 13ff0eeb36 few capable c542fce153 men in 14f03d0115 an incompetent a325864793 royal family.621dce990c8da834
The king, lost to his pleasures, had neglected the nation, weakening its power and inviting the Fran Empire’s invasion. Ashin had long been wary of a war with the empire, but because the Crown Prince was wary of him, he had been unable to actively exert any political influence. Ultimately, the Kingdom of Atar was defeated in the war and fell to ruin. Ashin, who had always been frail, saw his health deteriorate further during the war, and without a chance to recover, he was being dragged away to the empire.254a477ad80bb9e0
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Even on the brink dd1c9b8949 of death, there was e8f21c391a no chance of a 5516d6948a captured prince from a 82f1e7de2a defeated nation being given c6dc405711 something like medicine. By the time they 99d9fbac4c reached the imperial capital, ab29ccfea5 Ashin was in a 00ae6e9b66 state where he could fca7673876 not even sit up f41ed86ce4 properly.6a6eca6824fe0529
In his fading a0c8fa2f04 consciousness, Ashin sensed b21af8ea8d his own death. In his 6ecce6d291 miserable final 135d5ebe26 moments, what 26bc1994d4 remained for 01a82110a4 Ashin was 687c772e16 nothing but 9f110e4262 regret.fc304b414c331f31
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‘What was b9db3336a1 I struggling d6d592612c so desperately 6a55cd50c0 for…? If I knew it e0c6b025f9 would end like this, ed2a5b4303 I should have just d32d655ca3 ditched it all and 60948b69ca lived as I fucking 64796ef890 pleased… Damn it.’1f90832b59224a65
Silently spitting e021d37c1c out the f8b037a965 kind of 541b091b2b vulgar curses 7094169d8a he had f571dac8f1 never once 7d375f75c8 uttered aloud 41482af4d6 in his d66befa598 life.af300330334a81d2
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‘Ha, to think I’m dying without even having sex once, all for the sake of appearances. In my next life, I’ll live enjoying my fill of rough, coercive sex….’9113d45763fe2ca8
Ashin, who e542549f3d had lived c57414570a his entire a96653f3f0 life with c2a9b43b97 a lofty 27e6ee56ec and rigid 87ae950560 image befitting 31e0a5f5e3 his beautiful f8ab3c56c0 yet cold 99062f2811 appearance, was, cb3d13ab78 in fact, c6dcb189b2 a pervert 7cb59061ed who enjoyed cf112e0719 fantasizing about e1b3b17e02 being roughly dbb3b99b85 raped.516d219e54843bd1
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‘Really… What was it? A dream? Magic?’bd225c2d387c1c71
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Ashin, who 5e4c8560a4 had surely f9220aa1b8 closed his 6c196b4656 eyes in 0d762a38f1 desolation while fb3441c1a6 bound, opened a028389538 them to 7a596c4f50 find he b9243361d5 had returned 5fbc7dfecb to the a80272f141 time a 455dc46ae1 year before 5cee275318 the war.590f604d8bb40a46
‘Whatever the 38d76ce54c case, this 362c4c23ba is a 1c38a8677b relief.’d98d4c84e7a39351
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Hadn’t he keenly realized that working himself to the bone for his country had been utterly useless? Vowing not to miss this miraculously given second chance, Ashin resolved to live this time only for his own well-being and happiness.23a76b68cf5876cd
‘Damn the royal family, damn my father, damn my brother. I don’t give a damn whether those bastards who won’t even eat when you spoon-feed them go to ruin or not. I’m going to live my own life.’0c6835c9a3037437
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In the first place, their family relationship made it difficult to expect any tender affection. His father, who lived lavishly, lost in his pursuit of women, and showed no particular interest even when Ashin’s mother died. His brother, who was ultimately blinded by power and pushed both Ashin and the nation into a predicament.10d9ac829942e89e
With not much 19cc85d699 time left, it 32af42d2e5 was obvious that 546028cff3 trying every trick 443c95303d in the book df97ff2f67 would only lead 80dade37cf to a repeat c21c5fb99f of the same a14125da55 result. If he wanted 59c1494f5f to survive, even 90d3644059 if alone, his 98d45d0bd3 best bet was 2110a3e81f to wash his 5211992006 hands of the 7596142090 war early on eb2f7ea90d and flee far 3444463c9b away.af0a65bf85da8331
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The plan he devised a9f5747783 for this was to d58fb19fb3 use the excuse of 09156b3a5c recuperating to stay in 02ef424acf a province near the 0974cba4fd border—on the side opposite b767c1fbdf the empire—and then disappear 04300662b1 before the invasion began. And so, 0106b225b0 Ashin enjoyed 674fde9caa a vacation afc1974b35 in the 6cd5ed5b15 southern County d3e44edb7d of Compidé 2f0fc2ec8c and succeeded 1c00c72f54 in disappearing 2ed88c3c5d into the 7ced69dbb3 mountains by af714bb39c faking a 8799faf40d carriage accident. Seducing and bringing along d83cbf57e9 a rather handsome servant 6ebfe8c07a who worked at the 8d8726eb83 county was a bonus.87a96d1f09473260
The Crown Prince, 7ce92f3421 who had been 57019ea4c7 secretly wary of f4fd2b836a his intelligent younger a9008d008f brother despite him 29a312ab28 showing no ambition b0ade82ebf for the throne, be4e787c08 did not order b9057208f6 an active search 47ddb0843d upon hearing the 637aedae5c news that Ashin 46e0223aa5 had met with 7b17b88fe8 a mishap. Having escaped the county c346a2cc09 without much effort, Ashin 66e2f0ee43 realized anew just how 3bd42efd91 much the Crown Prince 8123e44c23 had been ostracizing him.fcec948b83459855
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‘Ha, is the search at the city gate checkpoint this sloppy? The search order must be just for show; he must be itching to declare me dead. I was a fool for praying that such a person would become a better king than my father, just because he’s my brother.’63a15c39ab19325d
The bitterness 8efda7da0d was fleeting, 0202e45f77 and deciding a0d23963c6 to make 2e04cd7fc3 the best 86408a5d17 of it, 06776d8f6c Ashin wandered e437ded983 from one 8a8f0aed5a fringe town dd16b9861f to another, ddf670d9d4 disguised as 37bbb30b03 the wandering 99f8e785a9 son of 598a38ca1d some nameless e250ce1737 nobleman. When war broke adfe55c072 out and the c78dcc1eef time came for 0890f829a8 a conscription order 4d33c4550c to be issued 5267d82bb1 in his region, f26db81054 Ashin intended to 2a0a88d292 cross over to 4f9daa2dc7 the neighboring country dc21de7222 that bordered the cbcbfd99f3 south until things 72809e1fc6 quieted down.c81a0071442d1983
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Everything seemed to be b4a5cded5f going according to plan.40074f8b9895ca00
Until the 5ad7d78eac war ended a57278e85b much faster 9ebe0198ae than expected, bec551680c and the 9c9ba0c8c6 Crown Prince a558add940 of the 946bbe685d Fran Empire 46496a83ee suddenly issued ac5a7e1b42 a nationwide 08f3548601 bounty for 75047ac42f the missing c10e3f5cc6 royal, Ashin b54e325d0a Freis, under 1f1f041c9e the pretext ee5ce12686 of rooting 249080a3b9 out any 053ae85177 potential seeds 56b90cdc54 of rebellion.949cbf8c814a79bc
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‘Shit, why the hell a929fdacbe is the crown prince a43a3ae4f6 of an enemy nation 8883fb9651 looking for a royal e46ceb2236 whose own family already 32c3f48425 declared him dead and 27de4a828b even held a funeral?!’b38330cb42c4909f
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Kyle Elshad. The young Crown Prince 7fbe141e43 of the Fran Empire, 328aa39741 who ascended to the 4abc8551dc position three years ago 65426cfecb amidst a storm of 6410ec4eed blood.80d95eeb3f7d9f8a
Looking at Kyle’s name on the wanted poster, Ashin thought.8919053c3a6bde4c
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‘Yeah, his face was quite… handsome. Back then, he just looked like a marionette with its strings cut. I thought he was someone who wouldn’t be good at politics….’7082b32596875b83
The first time Ashin met Kyle was about ten years ago, around the time of the King of Atar’s birthday banquet.1104b17b0048c277
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‘Oh, he’s handsome….’5e61b2cacc9a26d7
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Dark brown hair and black eyes, strong, defined features. His thick eyebrows and sharp eyes, combined with a hard, expressionless face, gave the boy a sculpted appearance that, for some reason, also seemed gloomy. This was Ashin’s first thought upon seeing Kyle.1f050266362fd2ff
To celebrate the 40th 089a8a6470 birthday of the King 9d8ca72b96 of Atar, the Fran ce9541e1fe Empire, which bordered the 95f4c68e2e Kingdom of Atar, had 3f71bebf9e also sent a congratulatory addfd18d2a delegation. The one leading the f7a48cb4a4 delegation was a young, d23815c915 sixteen-year-old imperial prince.ace431966906ec63
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Kyle, born of a concubine and with two older brothers, was a member of the royal family far from the line of succession, one who didn’t receive much attention. At the time, relations between the empire and the kingdom were peaceful, and since no particularly important figure was coming, Ashin had little interest in the imperial delegation until he saw Kyle. However, upon seeing Kyle, who had arrived at the royal castle a week before the birthday banquet, Ashin asserted his fluency in the imperial language and volunteered to entertain the delegation.a4c1543d2e676aad
No one knew it, but Ashin had a weakness for cold, handsome men, and a face like Kyle’s was more than enough to pique his interest. He knew himself that it was nothing more than a short-lived curiosity that wouldn’t last more than a few days, but in a royal life devoid of pleasure, even a moment’s amusement was precious.0fc8bddc74fd4be6
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“Atar is a bit warmer than Fran. And since you’ve come during a hot season, your journey must have been difficult. We always have plenty of ice, so please tell a servant anytime you wish for some.”134b5fc99b575edd
“…Thank you.”2b56500d0014cbb2
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“There is a large fountain in the garden of the West Palace, where Your Highness is staying. Later, you can go to see it…”a224b8eaab2d1e13
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After the luncheon, b69ef25c1b Ashin was guiding b58a04c199 Kyle around the 074cf2cc76 palace.e215db8c380b7458
True to his brusque impression, Kyle was a man of extremely few words and wasn’t much of a conversation partner, but it didn’t matter at all to Ashin, who was quite fond of Kyle’s face.ea12ab41574f5bdd
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‘His personality 2d19889a80 is so 17759f9032 dull, but b1978dd763 as long b6ab82b9db as his 8ebebff345 face is 7eed1d8f4b interesting, that’s 1e5ee01b29 all that 1ca5523d03 matters.’daefd9f375bdc674
Outwardly, he maintained a flawless and proper demeanor, while inwardly, Ashin was delighting in a critique of Kyle’s face that others could never have imagined. He wasn’t a very sociable person, but it wasn’t difficult for him to keep a conversation going when necessary, and while Kyle’s replies were short, he didn’t seem bored either, so all Ashin had to do was continue making pleasantries while admiring the handsome face.73142464e5286bae
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After about three days, Ashin realized that Kyle was not only as brusque as his impression suggested, but was also a person with no striking likes or dislikes—a man whose tastes were just as impassive. Of course, it was polite not to reveal one’s personal preferences too much in a formal setting, but even to Ashin, who was sensitive to people’s dispositions, Kyle seemed to have almost nothing he liked or disliked.511ab61fa05ece0f
‘This kid is really… he’s two years younger than me, but so emotionless. A difficult type to entertain. It’s not like he’s someone I need to make a particularly great impression on, but…. was called the son of a concubine and the third prince? He must have had a pretty rough life, too.’88983ae1ea99e676
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Now, ten years later, he had forgotten he had even felt that way, but back then, Ashin had felt a very faint sense of pity for Kyle. It was a faint pity, but enough that even though Kyle wasn’t someone he needed to go to great lengths for, Ashin paid enough attention to notice the wine Kyle lingered over versus the one he drank more quickly, and made a mental note that he seemed to handle the Sauvignon comparatively well.d79e6babefa52cd0
On the acf6d86435 day of f21715fc4c the birthday a2dccea1d5 banquet, after 6a9aee68f5 finishing the 52d4ebf024 appropriate pleasantries, d400c32005 Ashin was e35a184933 standing in d53c0b7d7f a corner 7dd1555cea when he 19809d9665 saw Kyle 69bef799a3 standing awkwardly 95c4ddf056 among the 8c52fbea1c people and ff50859e72 approached him.693bffc23f0879db
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“Hello, Your 851c29cdf6 Highness Prince 01737fb0b3 Kyle. Are you enjoying 2f9f91eca1 the banquet?”e8524c1fc8ae3556
“Ah, …yes. Thank you for your 37183188ee concern.”34498d171ca129fa
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‘What does b58ea6e279 he mean, 7fac9656d1 “yes”? It’s completely obvious he’s 6236d47391 uncomfortable because there are e1f65028bb so many people.’080f48078d067903
Still, perhaps because he saw a familiar face, Kyle’s tense atmosphere seemed to relax a little.ff9635def7b710b7
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“Hmm, I noticed last time that you seemed to handle red wine better than white. There’s a decent Sauvignon at the banquet. Shall I get you a glass?”f58f3fc4161809c8
“Ah…. Thank you.”11c48b08612aa28e
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When Ashin handed him a glass of wine he’d brought from nearby, Kyle, taking the glass, made a strange expression, as if surprised or flustered. It was a different reaction from what Ashin had expected, hoping for a pleased expression.a80ec448cd6940c4
‘Ack, I thought he liked this last time. Did I guess wrong? Oh well, can’t be helped.’b06d7b7d5d09b89c
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Feeling a little ec90604407 embarrassed, Ashin turned 1d6920a506 and left the c6dfa050d9 spot. Because of that, Ashin 50b196bae0 did not see the 12793144cb expression Kyle made after 26058a7854 lightly touching his lips 879b36416a to the glass.4cc8f8e08ff6566b
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