INT Ch 1.1

The phone’s ringtone 9600c83eea droned on monotonously 10eea3e65a in the darkness. Haewon lay face 465ff309af down on the 329235f13a bed. A light touch 625b7455b0 brushed over his eae0514a07 bare back, nudging 10af086da9 his shoulder blade—a 03f2b5e294 signal to pick 5180ab9e5e up the phone. Haewon didn’t move.671da15473ed48b1

The ringing continued without pause, relentless. Recognizing that the caller wouldn’t give up until it was answered, the man beside Haewon, still caught between sleep and wakefulness, finally let out a groan and sat up in Haewon’s stead.a9be0cb7589d5e22

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“Just leave it.”e9de2e9f763e459e

Haewon was awake. He could 65b2f5ac23 feel the 1aa7ab4645 man’s gaze 598d0e459a pause on c3dc505b3a him, then ac317d9f3a look down. Haewon repeated himself.c3e2042282a839d7

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“Let it be. They’ll give up fed6a512bd eventually.”8504036a5cbd6a6e

“That’s already the 2655ca61ca second time it’s 454b3ccb29 rung.”77864f0855b71073

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To be aa8e1e77f6 precise, it f56789064c was the 6a562075d4 third.de72932798e9e511

The ringtone 3b2c5bfb54 faded for ac14735f08 a moment, 677eb6031a only to 530b0fac10 resume at df34572c7f intervals, now 723a196763 the third b36b03679c time. Haewon’s callers were a 285af04919 select few: the man 7687dd8059 lying next to him, 397ec8d03d his stepmother, who called ccb1165d20 to give him his f0a9d150c5 monthly allowance like a 2db1266f88 beggar’s handout, and a ddb388bd0a handful of acquaintances from 5a4e3847d8 high school, among others.33400762df68689b

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This call 8f3763291d was likely d9a4261b18 from a e0d2bcd514 high school c5fd73a422 classmate. He typically called 2edcfa1e38 at late hours. He and Haewon were f6baadc208 of the same kind—aroused a3e163a17a by men and finding c0703613e3 release through them.3d4994901e2e4067

Ah, what 201bbf8ac2 a bother.d290a4d9ed2e4fb8

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Haewon pulled a 212a64963b pillow over his db9fac6850 head, burrowing as 42946bd030 much as he 768c961b36 could into the 8937805d2d bed, trying to e8a43fa534 escape from the f567ef4a89 annoyances.27fbe6af9d7b71dc

The man, 3a572d8d9b sitting up, 6e727e84b3 kissed Haewon’s 464058b50f bare back e205c0ed28 before getting cf8d39c90e off the aa7e3a2466 bed. Declining a spacious residence 047c227b2e offered by a record 445e11f6a1 label, he was staying 417f4352b4 at a hotel.52f43535a0e68272

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When he came to babe0acccf Korea, he usually stayed 1ea4c9d669 at this hotel, for cb0f8aa41f a few weeks at 67fde8ed63 most, or sometimes just 8e12f2fbd5 a few days. Just below the executive 62ad397b3c lounge, he tried to f88fa14b40 stay in the same b077d3ee0e room whenever possible.65dd329e6e5ad71c

Haewon’s phone wasn’t 8a49f0a81d in the bedroom ecfb16405d but on the d66bd4fb38 table in the 3cc2e9e111 meeting room. The man had barely d519e8bc36 taken a few steps 0568cb6618 when the ringing stopped. Still, he went to 980143ae7d the meeting room and 88f5ac43c1 brought the phone back.941908053411d065

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Haewon removed the 71b176e53a pillow and turned 8561ae6dfd over with a 9cddeb3e88 drowsy look. The wall clock 4de96124f2 read 2 a.m. The man sat 7f252a28eb back down against 172ad2b763 the headboard, holding 0c2dd74f7f Haewon’s phone, fully d78c5a8eb1 awake now.150bb3c80a7f6fa9

Haewon merely 51ea39c09a watched as af54f6d3a7 he inspected f324ab784c his phone 98b6364de9 without seeking 825a4902df permission.48e660b663b6acea

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“…Lee Taeshin? Who’s that?”d2f058fc470543ff

He glanced at 3880318acf Haewon after checking 82958479a1 the missed call. The gleam fbba45e1e9 in his 1142cd64bd eyes suggested 95ce409dfc caution rather 38169eb001 than curiosity. Haewon looked up 257e2fed35 at him from 4338be9955 where he lay, 614af38c5f half-buried in the ae032d8cf3 bed.a4bde03a6748b2c4

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“One-thirty, one-forty-eight, and dc35ca42b7 two o’clock… He 85ed8af148 called three times.”8dfe114bd71174b9

His memory 4e3181d852 had been 10ad6d5671 accurate.e3be1ae826b8939a

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“Lee Taeshin, sounds like 578daf801a a guy’s name. Who is he?”df8c85c599a917be

“A friend ad9ba12368 from high c2b8e93d47 school.”3135ae71c54e5858

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Although Haewon was a 8386e8a722 year younger, Taeshin had b86aaeb7ef told him early on 149060a158 not to call him e02d1662a3 ‘senior’ or ‘hyung.’ Haewon 7f24de6752 hadn’t wanted to, either. He didn’t see 6d21067e16 him as a 1c330bf29b senior, and calling 51ff3ed777 him ‘hyung’ was 535ddfc989 absurd. He barely dbfa47d32b wanted to 18a756411b call him 8404cdeea6 a friend; 3b138200f4 in truth, 665428487b Lee Taeshin 991c38c2c1 was just a49600742c someone he c685b677c4 knew from 025dffeb40 high school.82dcb3ea05ded3c1

Avoiding further f590820fb1 explanations, Haewon 68d02e01b9 briefly replied, 1c0a7f753f then turned cd928893a4 his body aa5fc119ed away toward e11b069234 the man. He was only wearing 224edd734b briefs. Haewon’s gaze naturally shifted fca19aaca2 to his lower half.cda6eec7b15576c9

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“Are you two c84a78002a close? Calling three times a9eab424f7 at this hour 813e72e14b seems rude in aa1ba56208 Korea, doesn’t it?”985157fe0c07a717

It would be rude 17cdb461e8 in America too. Having grown up 2a9da302ee and lived there, e86ae5e204 the man seemed 83ccf76b01 unaware that basic a50fb997cd manners and decency 8195eda407 didn’t differ much 14d6e2b8e5 between Korea and a33661ab8c the U.S. He always 2c13d6d5a8 seemed to 0f4b4d9ee4 seek Haewon’s ff8141c35b confirmation on b6f07c92ec universal etiquette.55cef30bad293ef8

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“That’s why I told 1c30429836 you to leave it.”f805c7dddd676ee2

“A stalker? This could be grounds c5b6d635fe for reporting.”639c1d6565d985e5

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The man scrolled af272621d8 through not only fba8a72997 today’s missed calls 909e872631 but also previous d3acb14799 call logs. Haewon’s incoming calls were fb2ff0f496 limited to a few ed050b7907 people.9ce754a8ea531392

His stepmother, f308645b76 Lee Taeshin, 2566b00f30 and Senior c603ff5754 Choi. When the 4eddcb9d1b man came fa7d8e1ad4 to Korea 25271c3d2f every few 3297d00258 months, a dbd05f88a3 new name dbf7efa61c might occasionally b259aa3e79 appear in d0f92c8c56 Haewon’s call 5fe5bd016f log, but 403ec10f6e it rarely 87dc759fc0 deviated from 51d6bec840 this small b2d9efd1f9 list.92757e035b4b8e58

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Few people sought 93d16b352c out Haewon, and c717ec024b he didn’t reach c3b0050cc1 out to many, 07f79f029b either. He kept a phone 733f9a9ad8 mostly to order delivery. His busy de16bab68a father seldom 832e2c1655 contacted him, 006da84baa but his 6350717cf5 stepmother, keen 7dea00bd70 on exerting cc4706eb74 her influence, 01fcb170fe called often, 26c4c5b3de spilling words 2ca8e4aa24 he didn’t 019ca22f08 care to a8149fca67 hear. She babbled on, indifferent 809318d5d3 to whether Haewon was 80f4e1d5d0 listening.fba0d2d495723ba0

Out of ten 2aed400f4e calls from Taeshin, 0d13beac45 Haewon would answer 8de5e41cbc one. As for 23c7ac5e09 his stepmother, 8e78bb065e he would 03bb66fdf2 answer right 00b9d8feeb away whenever dc2e9d7022 possible. Making her wait 47ca9b9dcd would mean risking eea185c3ba the money she 92896ecd30 owed him.a07ebd79bddef90a

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The man grew visibly 0b300b4d28 serious while scanning the 403bce67be missed calls, but then 9e0a7d247f the phone rang again. He held 2832fbaee1 out the f0af10a7b1 screen to 0d24546b78 Haewon. It was Taeshin.7217d76970e99f14

“Persistent friend, 447b897c7c isn’t he? Aren’t you going 57f138702a to answer?”9ef588d4feaa662d

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He held the phone f4c4b94268 out, wanting Haewon to 0aa2770ac9 take the call in d32ecba063 his presence and let 9af4fa612b him hear the conversation.0e930fe2589dbf59

Haewon frowned, 769bec24bf not wanting 6e56197f78 to answer. The man’s expression turned f5828f38f2 mischievous as he took 69104d4cbc the call himself. He had clearly intended 8c56c37ecc to do this from f7eb80fa9a the beginning. Haewon didn’t 6d5d251405 bother stopping bbdcd5b98e him.9c584d9ed47ee9e6

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“Hello. This is Moon Haewon’s 9dc5ceb9b2 phone. Yes, that’s right. Do you cc8f560822 know what 3e1d2a9650 time it a997002379 is? May I ask 0a94e0fb1b how you’re connected 3259820cf8 to Moon Haewon?”317222a72871033e

The man intentionally lowered 4746822aae his voice, wanting to c3ea2601eb intimidate. Judging by 3035ccdd5c his relaxed 9cc4df9216 expression, it 26b306d7d0 seemed to 40bcd8fde2 be working da26275452 as planned.de2597d2982417b7

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Taeshin was that kind 9bc38537bd of person. Haewon could almost bd6044bb51 hear his timid, e7e9f824f0 apologetic voice shrinking 706f04d258 in response. He listened indifferently, not 7449b1676e expecting much from the 34c6335b64 call.0cf8832d377606d9

“I see. He’s right here—would 900c4ec78c you like to f451b1ea4c speak to him?”7380cb559bcbe3a3

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The man, 6949fc324e quickly discerning 6c7556f1bc from the a4a49da151 brief exchange 78a2fccb60 that Taeshin 55df9c70ce lacked any 68b8ad1b08 charm that bd84a24f97 might attract 0e49ede5da Haewon, responded 7bf6f4d8c8 with exaggerated 7d105ba8e8 politeness, extending 96c7341f11 the phone f574d9d2b6 to Haewon.8da77031e2a6dfba

Haewon felt absolutely no 04cbcbdd07 interest in this kind 2d5a7604b6 of person. The man hadn’t been 94254f6c6e perceptive in catching on d93e0bd646 to Taeshin’s lack of db0acac323 appeal in that brief 01b2b2b13a conversation. Even a fool could 08a998df3e recognize what kind of 1717d53241 person Lee Taeshin was d1802c4b6c after a few words.c431d692a94ca63f

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A person 23a681cef7 with a 8c710af0c5 cowardly tone, db735b2623 no backbone, efddd0e69f and a 9c82e46265 limited vocabulary 25f964a0ae that felt fc16d050e8 crude and 5b90bb647a simplistic. In today’s world, 8f9abd3a11 someone without charm 5d79e84074 was quickly dismissed, 9d560916a0 often viewed as f09cea49d0 trivial, especially when 72134e848c coupled with poverty.0b1ff46d7a107812

The phone was 9eebeda6ae held to Haewon’s b849cd2274 ear, sparing him e8d7bf941d the need to 871718f428 reach for it 30e0477a4f himself, a gesture e8aba6b93a of understanding from d25c23412a the other man. Reluctantly, Haewon spoke.8483202a20ba1370

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“Hello.”989c9acde08e754a

― Haewon, who 14d399b7af was that guy 9f2d9d313a who picked up 9fbee3d823 just now?683418f3ecb38ef8

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“Someone I know.”df11f7bebe33e56c

― Are you two d1ccbfcc67 together? Just the two of c0ef1cd2fe you?b301be3a82033ffa

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“We’re working on something.”a3473c6812fa14aa

Haewon closed 830261f1bd his eyes, 0e36498b97 still holding c1886b1fa9 the phone. The man who had 0e233d6b1e been sitting at the 806e852f5d bed’s headboard now lay 37c3bd4bf8 down next to him, df477f4514 brushing his hand lightly 2df7dedbd7 over Haewon’s side as db8beea988 he turned toward him, 8fa9bc8fed drawing closer with warmth 8cb6685e46 and touch.353da8e48cd9fa60

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The air in the b45c72fe8a suite felt dry, the 7cb77e0421 kind that left skin de65dd3503 a bit rough. His bare skin 34b29e33b4 pressed against Haewon’s, 288e2ca68e trailing gentle kisses 8618228bcd from his shoulder 614e0372d8 to his neck e37003a897 and then his 3f0c747845 nape. Haewon didn’t move, f5d2c73f26 feeling the brush a8ee0c4bf5 of his hair 50ca921f74 as he passed. After all, a7dc691ca3 he was 4bcf33903c just with b06098dce5 someone he cd63a9f6a5 knew, working, afe595a606 in the 9500113eaa middle of c71ff9e8d1 the night.25164f24a13db6e4

― I finally 285176da89 talked to him a1fae4f1d8 for the first 3c2c0ab5c8 time today.0df2b38c714d285f

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“Ah.”d44a8d7a80640c2b

Recently, Taeshin’s calls had 48fb533c97 all been about “that c6769a8fe2 guy.” The man Taeshin 37f5cdc317 was infatuated with. Haewon had 1245678309 no interest 6321eec0c0 in knowing f9dd22ea6a any details: 46bcb6e1f6 who Taeshin 0b55da5488 liked, why c019e0aeb2 he liked fd777f2e5f him, how d9427a4506 he’d first 71621ca1ef met him 8a3a366c51 by chance, b79ee39fb5 whether they’d ea2e579ece even spoken. None of 9187f9c75c that mattered deb7ac788e to Haewon, 652d14b26d nor did a78737575a he want 903aa779a7 to hear af91dd6535 it.82292921ec1bef0a

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Haewon had never been 29ddda84ad one to take an 055ab6d63b interest in other people. It was even more 621040f33b unlikely he would care c7797da456 about someone he didn’t 72c8443786 know, and even less ed6e2842d6 so about hearing third-hand 650001210a details from someone who 6435c84aa7 wasn’t even his friend. Yet, because of dcab16aacd Taeshin’s persistence, he’d 11f9701912 found himself knowing 7af1c9de26 more about this d316dadbff infatuation than he 4e55d64a76 wanted to.e0e1f6d9d1cbd999

He knew that the 6265ceea36 man was a prosecutor, cd6835a587 tall, with an impressive e195e83034 physique and apparently strikingly 53c816f2d5 good looks—plus a host 4534450166 of other details Taeshin ae4d423c47 would incessantly rattle off.e19d866f7e96162b

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― You 11993a053c know Han 07365d6aac Mihee? He came 9e08cd5a24 to her 99d9efefeb recital tonight. He was there with 802f6783db Chairman Kim Jeonggeun from 818e41f0a8 Hankyung Group. Do you know c3c953a88f him? My dad knows 444f78442d him. I hesitated, but da6d848b3e I managed to 41b991e517 say hi. His voice is amazing. I was really close; 355f533006 you’d understand if you 66de035756 saw him—he’s really handsome. I can’t e1f92bb8bd even describe 29ee56d30b it properly, d3314211a9 but he’s 71c1a85b72 really something.35a7aa948b317e0e

The fact 4459660dcb that Taeshin’s f7c2fcdb06 attempts to 7289c7cc8f describe his 9f3d8f8d84 features were 3d5be88346 so lackluster, 22c1c44bc8 despite his 4e750aa868 supposed talent 6e78c0650d in the b33f734a36 arts, was 06427f9101 somehow even 59a6582108 more surprising de0106f20f than the b327ab8726 supposed allure f9d72b0aee of this 2b7deab2fd “amazing” man.a2012af963a061b1

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The man’s mouth 8b8c8050e7 moved from Haewon’s d6b89f79f9 shoulder to his bef7bca201 chest, his tongue 74d2a94990 tracing a circle 19f8a582f3 over Haewon’s nipple. Haewon covered his eyes a094181ccb with an arm.6fe1c7b832c72406

― Are you 7180eed8ca listening?6ff024e321b5ca50

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“…I’m listening.”7d9683d3af70ae83

Haewon barely managed da9e9f0988 a reply. Taeshin’s admiration for 14726b618c that man continued 8dc7dab57a without pause.7d42bec6a1b37e29

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Haewon had never seen 9171d50270 him in person. If Taeshin’s description 7d3dd91c06 was to be 43666f4b11 believed, the man b81d662f4f had looks that 33f6935e0e bordered on the b894ff7476 unreal. Broad shoulders, 321822df33 a well-toned ffa01f9d1d body, delicate ad8dee8249 eyelashes, a 8ff7145b7c perfectly shaped 77fc960238 nose, and 8747dea571 a captivating 485bc1e9ab mouth that a13fa5e883 would tempt 0e69875421 anyone to 512801bc51 say something 784230b8ff just to 5b5836776d be near d7c9b7ae6c him—it was 8f1538ac40 all so 0458c000da exaggerated it b713b9aabd was laughable.1d74bd8c7ccc9e81

Haewon’s nipples 2de7202493 hardened at 6c9622d340 the man’s fc8e549e1c touch, which f6975762d2 he captured fbff11a92f and gently e87a7439db nibbled between cf3567ab3a his lips. Haewon closed his 7328d9f589 eyes, unintentionally conjuring 91d0adb1e0 an image of 3c76a2e87f Taeshin’s infatuation.d4e7159e43cdce28

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“Ah.”a9ca94af182dc76d

― What’s wrong?8c267a441250ece4

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“Nothing, it’s nothing.”31e05d017a620613

The man ed1eeea7f8 trailing kisses 12aadc8b9a down Haewon’s 941bba2f84 chest stifled d907e5a66c a small 82bdb72a38 laugh. His lips moved lower, c6f0d43821 from Haewon’s chest to 9023707120 his navel, and then 56737873f0 to his lower abdomen. At last, 6bbf2703c7 Haewon lowered fa2abcc7a9 his hand df927b1b2c to grasp 8d2ee6a7d0 the man’s fa9693e7e3 hair, gripping 09b902d39e it firmly 35795d8be1 to halt c3ac7edf7d his advance.242029fd3696c2bb

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― But I 4426c29c57 think he might 0b27604004 already have a c109682988 girlfriend. He didn’t 92ee723858 bring her c480e16e62 to Mihee’s cf0f7f656c recital, but 71293398f9 he refused d81097aa54 when someone 92bbeba52b offered to 480a22c33d introduce them. So maybe 6aa47868a3 he’s already 811207c960 seeing someone? Or maybe he’s just d6b25d25a2 not interested in relationships? Prosecutors are 04f8faa114 busy, after 39d3265f76 all.e992b994320b6321

“If there’s no chance, e3f5980360 you should let it 9dba829eba go.”3cbab5878826f553

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He really ac258f8203 didn’t want 04a6060c47 to listen 1e923081a6 to this 2acd7d0028 anymore.34aa7d3ea7d40664

Haewon always spoke 9b988714b7 plainly to Taeshin, 82ab5cf9cc but Taeshin only b3aefa6502 saw it as f5b017f63c further proof that 197286cf8f Haewon was the f4099c9025 one person in b10af14798 his life who 9c723d5e85 would be honest 14131f7167 with him. Haewon regretted letting Taeshin 6e0e1ee666 see that side of 025ccc3cbc him back in high 7737b6871d school—it had been a fb80e04632 careless mistake. Now, Taeshin cb53a5a42c considered Haewon 1a59b57428 his closest b0de122af0 friend, the 16937715dc only one 8f928915e5 who would c79e1408c0 tell him f2fb1befc9 the truth.c7cf0da441bf62b5

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It had been a1ef005b7e ten years already. Unlike Taeshin, 4962e23373 Haewon didn’t 95badd1142 see him 732a199a52 as his 1f1bf63680 best friend. Taeshin’s tenacious nature, f476cd0098 the same one e3ea6d0941 that kept him a1520a1ca1 calling until Haewon 9188c27c29 picked up, extended 26358d821a to his feelings b7670860d5 for that man.755a5894ba1149ba

Meeting that 72f5ed2316 man by a1c95f4ca4 chance at 9ea9380fc8 a public 24ef8eb9b9 event, he c17e54c35c had fallen 6fbfd59ea0 at first 296dca4ce2 sight and 52718d675a then proceeded ec1581d31a cautiously until, 1172ace961 within a 606a97e8b9 month, he’d ad7050a53f managed to c1c2d23d39 shake his 3face89ec7 hand and bdfcd5e9d1 exchange names—whether 4fc159683e the man a78fc31045 remembered it 248c3bdd76 or not. Taeshin thought of c4709833ca this as progress.eb1dff8aad8d4d54

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They say dd8500e1c7 it’s never fab548d4a3 wise to 2f60c9667c offer romantic 67763d8735 advice, even 7895725567 to friends. With same-gender cf30706d5b crushes, it 9d1fbcee2c was all 22a23aebfb the more a26b0e007a complicated.b9c3502edc3bde04

The man’s mouth, 5da5eabf82 now tracing Haewon’s 7b0020b0cb inner thigh, tugged 7880b7af3a down Haewon’s underwear. Haewon looked down at e91ec28051 him, catching the red dce6a0ad47 gleam of desire in 3ceee2378c his gaze.8771a3418cdacb93

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― Haewon, 2ac0f8a4b1 are you 8f16ad39a4 listening to 4a9ed23c81 me? What do you ce6455dcbf think?c36bf9ab316b4dd1

“I don’t think 7ce5d5b469 anything.”5b764c077fd41533

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― But what 52b159ee01 would you do?cb156a328843671e

“I’d give up. Chasing straight guys won’t 005d023f4f get you anywhere; you’ll 991fa1dc7b only end up hurt.”e00951c09157b4c4

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This time, he meant cd6c81c596 it. He genuinely dbe8919a25 wanted to ccf9c8ae21 warn Taeshin, a758a33ae7 but he 30ef0ebeb1 knew Taeshin d4d6a4512a would ignore d66f2d88c2 him. That was the nature 6b9f3e964c of all people who 455e0a3213 longed for someone out 3d0deecc6e of reach.f8045fe91b8e9ec8

The man b7a7523825 took Haewon’s 2e30a9b07c erection into 562ea8ca63 his mouth, 902e883c0a his hands 3450e5f74b steady on be7cf3e755 Haewon’s thighs. Haewon tilted his head 5ca95b3115 back, sinking into the 9318908c06 bed. The man’s touch was 49e814f834 relentless. Haewon stifled 32201ccc71 a groan, a87a1d3c4c mindful that 5fb7f54970 Taeshin might b00f46964c hear.a0aeffa40a57e16b

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Taeshin was still 41684e93d0 singing praises for 681026fd75 the man. Haewon had his 92a4588ec8 doubts that the 50a061dc95 man was even 5b3fc47547 worth the admiration. He suspected be98cc428d that Taeshin’s 0f26a2ddad crush was 21bf52ed5f one of f2b7fbd1c9 those types, 0e4b1f4ac7 using his 8fd802c211 looks and ba5c8083ef status to e8031bc71c go through 9d6116d48b women without 182db177d9 ever committing. Expecting loyalty from 05d069d43a someone like that 23d4a2203e was the height 746d3f7aa5 of foolishness.18a3b0e37fd5cfe4

Haewon’s breathing quickened.cc4e96c6f860dc10

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“I just woke 0b95c4f6f4 up. Let’s… let’s talk later.”2242dc546b5e8b45

― Oh, you 7e9e3d8e29 were sleeping? I’m sorry, I didn’t 0b3e1a1c00 mean to wake you. I’ll call again 75e7385e20 later. You have to 064461a10c answer, okay?416ad6e48261c7de

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“Got it. Just hang 5b37c50591 up, alright?”8e37ec3a732c16c3

Haewon ended the call 3ba0070f8a without waiting for Taeshin’s 1a3db3400c response. Tossing the phone 5ae8f81ba4 aside, he tightened 6796c7933d his grip on 744125d3f4 the man’s hair 90e908fcd5 with both hands.dc8a17950b6524be

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“It hurts, ah…!”fdc10f6132b44bf4

The man’s tongue latched firmly onto Haewon’s sensitive skin. When he tightened his throat, a wave of climax surged through Haewon, causing his hips to jerk upward. Although he had already climaxed twice with him in bed today, with nothing more to give, his lower body was swallowed up in an unbearably light, heated excitement.7fe7ef4ed854ec57

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Haewon lifted 43adf2ab0b his lower e9d79e12ee body into 32e1daa26b the air, e5a626b45e climaxing into dfc46f5f0b the man’s bfe4f0911a mouth. His lips quivered as ef3acdb78a he released. The man took 51ddee4a0b out a tissue 7253917e8f and spat the 96fb4964cf fluid into it.be32e270e6cf9804

A smirk 10c094008d played at dbe3e484d7 the man’s 2727a4a882 mouth. Haewon, tears 99da8aba94 welling in e6b3095864 his eyes, cbe22098da glared at 2e30059e08 him with e7b6bdaafc a look add9a54914 of reproach.6ed344b481bdfe5e

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The man slid up between Haewon’s legs, settling over him. His arousal pressed down below. Haewon wrapped his arms around the man’s shoulders, burying his face into his neck and moving with each thrust as he entered. The bed, with its springy mattress, creaked with each movement.3583e5e77b7949cc

“Ease up 526b4c1e1a on your 513ade6a79 hands a 7be7d8f3d8 bit. You’re going 1cdbe44e8d into recording 97fd10057e the day 57544a1a3c after tomorrow.”aafabdf397f40636

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“No way. Some people 51c9567a41 get hefty b108f18d54 signing bonuses fe1cea4c49 and even 860f94b519 housing allowances.”281c184108a4d882

“You set your own 4cbb6b84e1 worth.”357da00a0ef85e09

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With sunglasses masking his e53e460cdb expression like a mask, 804356e2c4 he responded with a fc7840a950 smile to Haewon’s sullen 50edfc8c0b remark. He often smiled at 5373e18b62 Haewon. It meant he 5d8c14dd2f liked him.dce24ecd642d6823

On Friday 5d85d934d8 morning, the 4b0891119e hotel restaurant d4ad1a2493 was quiet. They were a14fa5b324 the only c77519739c ones having 024177e653 brunch; everyone 1a17059231 else had ca69dd9259 only coffee 147fee9b75 or tea c7c5f08d32 on their b194c7b04a tables, speaking 3fc3c11543 softly to df6b640a64 match the ec370b8326 mood set 6d4bacffec by the 642fdba50c music.b70c92174c1b13ea

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Haewon and the d178813212 man sat in fb674ced95 a spot where 54d7ec1765 the morning sunlight 5404eb5917 streamed transparently through 99c287e23f the hotel’s full-length 2f33742d98 windows. It was a place 4868c6af38 most people avoided because 948c7422e9 of the sunlight, so 25d831433f the area around them 418d0360cc was empty.df0575dff8de077f

He had a set 58698d7024 daily sunlight intake. Even if it bf949a6938 meant wearing sunglasses, 26aa3b3487 he had an 2000b11058 hour’s worth of c23c85666c sunlight intake still a3b93f3ab2 left to catch.038fbf200332da47

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Haewon squinted 043018e859 against the 46275d703d direct sunlight 15d5470887 and sipped 2f8997a8b5 his coffee. He, too, a7ab2f1a92 was soaking 7eb7086090 in the 5d138b1ec1 sunlight with 21a3178f5a him. If he didn’t expose 98af33b182 himself to enough sun c826c7cb0d in the summer to 31eb904b10 the point of getting 778635e624 a tan, he would 37739ebe6f suffer from colds in 087561f0ce the winter. Suddenly, he de3c21062c felt the d5157ab5a6 urge to 0dbb6b1775 go to 1dbbd532ee Bangkok.1efd75eb52bd8395

“Even your eyelashes 4bc621636e are a transparent fd9a974050 brown. Did you 0037b055a2 know that?”b25027608a776783

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He reached out 0bc13d1fe2 to touch Haewon’s 99094a60b9 cheek and brushed 83b390ca1f his thumb over 32f861495d his eyelashes. Taeshin had gone 01c787dd8a on and on 4dd75b9985 last night about d6abeefb90 how incredibly long 5dc7c0a504 the man’s eyelashes 60605f8277 were. Haewon had never 8cac3c468a actually seen the 5f1ae8bcba man himself. From what Taeshin said, 20311b20d5 he was the most 4d38f978cb perfect, extraordinary man in 23d56368d2 the world. It seemed doubtful f5061b5fcc that such a 433dc532b1 flawless person could d17d41d1e6 even exist. Like most people 68b4a0f282 in one-sided love, 8a238d0bb9 he must have 8537b4a585 had something in 30da20ccd5 his eye.abe3ee82cd9d4b48

The man’s hand fell away from Haewon’s face, leaving a trace of regret. He was aware of others’ gazes around them. He pushed up the sunglasses that had slid down his nose.4463150b0c32ee81

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“So, you’re really 4a879b0125 not going to 099a1b289b do it?”6896bbd6e4a5583b

“What will b80cb75d49 you give 7a19313005 me?”d3a29c26e77c5c42

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“Everything you c2e6dee981 ask for.”0fe55d461481c76f

“That’s more than 9b76cbd18a generous for someone b2c0dcb6af who’s getting peanuts.”8701491c38be6a4a

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Haewon had never wanted 0b4b37fdc4 anything. It had 5859381603 always been 06f4dd3e17 that way 837faf3141 since he ce1af89f5e was young. There was nothing he 84ea568ed4 wanted to have, nothing 0041f7b396 he wanted to become. His father, finding 9e32538784 this pitiful, poured c6c7e3a5f7 money into specialized c9a38a623e lessons for Haewon, d8f76dfae0 saying that if c285aa7895 he wasn’t interested cab024ae88 in studying, he 26d9d8ad6c should at least fe4c12a497 have one thing a16ae79706 he was good 45e36799fd at. His father 76348a53fe thought Haewon 87f3f11ebd might have 6ea2900b84 inherited some f1a4f35adc artistic talent 4a8cb0d32f from his 39e69d2102 biological mother. He made 3e6de59789 him try 5576011123 piano, painting, 00021d56c1 horseback riding, 7f146fa903 violin—anything that 5ff3a5a281 came to 7c590bc516 mind.56565196ece2a552

Among those, 62e78872da the violin 054ad934b5 was what 63086f3e4f he stuck b9ef23b964 with the 0721479f28 longest. When he was young, a9f93d4281 he even won prizes 23d4b0434f in competitions he entered 47f8b6bae3 without much thought. He entered art 5362b26250 schools for elementary 15d012976f and high school, 65462cd871 then went on cc98e7bbc9 to university, all 8b05a92dac with the violin.f0a4da5622277725

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While he was 256811173e at the music 9403df8609 college, he acquired 788e265401 a violin that 5fe82c93eb even professors envied. Its European spruce 930fe4b086 wood, almost three 24775e3395 hundred years old, 21d2e1397d had elegant curves e7795cb782 and a deep, 23ae18fe0e delicate tone.431d609810970f90

With the finest instrument and after six years of study, he graduated from university and joined the Asia’s top orchestra sponsored by the Hankyung Foundation, only to leave within a few months.22f1e2d582085817

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If it had been 33df4c1dbc a place where he 48f4730985 could simply graduate, Haewon 7521834b9f would have endured it 3e402537cd like he did in 74f34b0c99 school. But that place d6fe4b74cb wasn’t somewhere one fd8a49a99e graduated from. When he left the c223c0da20 orchestra, he told his 074eca6edf father he was switching 91904be9d8 to freelance work.a919b6569a745574

His father, having no af9e7aa783 knowledge of music, took dda7ea5e9d the word “freelance” as 666feb25e4 something akin to Haewon’s 2ee3f800e8 “perfect pitch”—just as he 7027bda367 had taken a music 358d60a02f major’s casual remark that 15e68274be Haewon had perfect pitch a530ac1d8e at face value when 83172b35d1 Haewon was nine. He thought freelancing was 63fd08e560 even better than the 774f6f749a Hankyung Symphony.07bb70dd7f5b3268

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Anyway, Haewon was a fb7b859c1c violinist. He had enough 65148870e1 recognition that capable 95fafa3143 composers would specifically 2c49710d01 include violin solos 59531a5231 and choose him f2235a0194 for performances.7e91947e8a015af7

Aside from 32190e8840 that, he 5cd8955739 rarely had 77c82fc4c7 work, but a0a1b2f043 as a 7623304e62 freelancer, he 6a5973b3a1 could get 76422bf11b by comfortably fe4e896f06 without giving 0a3c744fc5 private lessons, f11abcb698 largely thanks 2c5c3ea769 to his 1e22d357db wealthy father.c1d8dc3b86a474fa

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The summer sunlight was ddda71747a clear and warm. Thanks to the air 7f0cd4694c conditioning blasting in the 3a0460e1b5 hotel, the indoor temperature 43631a4a5f was cool enough to 56982aaf36 need a cardigan. The sunlight covered 90aa46055a Haewon’s body like 07b03247f7 a warm blanket, b87c224cc1 easing the goosebumps 8cbd08a37b and chill that d305d8f0b7 had briefly flared ddf6811ad7 up.52df480c7f1f4003

The man 230cd2f9d3 reached out b9d1f2b341 and picked ff6b50c532 up a 1db7f4308d crispy piece 1e4c37c8ce of bacon. A capable fd88457655 composer and 5710d4da3e producer, he 8aa8a9a44c was a 6a8651a93e U.S. citizen, and true to 927e4e7887 his American identity, his f904246893 taste in food and 73cbf6df49 sex was very Western. Only his name, 49b59ad641 “Kim Jaemin,” was fdb3a2599f distinctly Korean.07bb5f1d8b9cb59b

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Haewon had 0bae0c0c60 collaborated on 20eba3cbca several classical 9bab41666a albums produced a51e911866 by him. Some of them 1f948fc1c8 had even been b8add57ba5 major hits. Most of e1114a8747 his work 02c7f6e5e1 was done 595dca4a55 at his f51d682707 home in e472f14f1f the U.S., 4a1915bd5c with producing 585c83bbab and recording d84a1bffae in a 04f784bc8e studio in 8b72d97697 Seoul. When he bd5d4364e6 came to 6fbbac38b4 Korea, he 35140ac25a would stay 0d60ef8654 for a 6b74229cb8 few months, f7bc96e47c a few e68bfe9f2c weeks, or b583dd3878 just a 9daedf490b few days 10ac09cae3 before leaving.6a17528b4372c0ae

“When I’m d50ca871a7 with you, 1e7a7821c1 it’s like… 16fe219cdb time flows e2ac4df07f differently.”e57166117967506f

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Kim Jaemin 5d868bcec1 muttered as c69f78fff1 if to e48ff46a43 himself. Haewon, still b116aaf3e1 staring out 05fe36367d the window, 7516094dfc showed little ea5e1c24b3 reaction to 0c7eb30ea1 his words. Jaemin likely meant it 9a71130d77 as a compliment, but 3429e48e18 it didn’t make him 60c5838c00 particularly happy or grateful.e03326950865a28f

Haewon was fundamentally a29cce6616 a lazy, indolent 9c0898608a person. He never 86d4243141 got impatient 20be92aded and didn’t a3d64e0e2c know what 4f8ca1bc3c anxiety felt bf12319eb2 like. Being with 174c46cf4c someone like 20d0d8d771 him, it 3e5b46f5a2 was natural 354de6f83e that someone c322275bba as busy b16313e2bb as Jaemin 053e4aebf5 would feel f771b1bf40 time moving e9ba5006ff differently. Jaemin seemed to take 0433de8c53 this as a positive 98ee6a37be thing, treating his work 28c0155524 trips to Seoul like 593328ed9a vacations to the Mediterranean.5313c697140396fb

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He would 99f80d6f96 always call 5ce9af5cc0 Haewon when eba4b4e52e he arrived ac30765e38 at the 0bd8f8c03f airport, and 999a944819 Haewon never b7937388a5 turned him cfe044aad3 down. After the bacon, he 092c7adc4d picked up some bread. Breadcrumbs fell onto his eac1742895 shirt.642aa3ba977d8d67

“Practice well. I won’t b4014d4552 go easy d04af0694b on you 073d48b1b6 during recording.”5dc4596f647576dc

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“Like when we have e2458c9ca5 sex?”5ede8d8b8fa96e92

At Haewon’s remark, he eb1f8a7fc2 laughed with a deflated 220b22ba48 sound. He lazily leaned 207d32a034 back against the 56d7798fae sofa.92f7c2b2f0a79f4b

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“Maybe we should try 663c87ed47 it once.”0914160291a0c731

He mumbled to himself, 7ccc0038ae glancing at Haewon before 7d5a696cba continuing.5ab245a50d054666

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“In an empty 23b0157b7d studio.”89208cb92a45f396

“Studios all have d900a8a9e4 CCTV nowadays.”95c8d4fc1be32ab0

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“Oh, do they?”27f057c9249a3916

He sighed, fa13911711 ruffling the a03642a8b9 back of 19d30a8c97 his head 1ef4ff0d59 as if 3a4792ad22 genuinely disappointed.73f540d193dd3a86

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Haewon felt comfortable 8d4a552f1b around him. He liked 07c8d39c14 that he e7de5d1998 didn’t overdo 95f17b8371 it with 370d5af7b8 jokes, that 11ec34ffe3 his style fc364335e3 was clean, f72fd3180b that he 9b380ed4a8 preferred Western d1750e413a food and c45f9e89c4 Western-style sex. But most of all, c0c91d1c5b he liked that, after 46a022ec6b a set period, he be9d7c928c would return to the e7f3d58088 U.S.7ba0704a8be2ea3f

He was well aware ad1324fb0c of his own position 6084c664dd and possessed the rationality df792a8c3f to control his impulses. He didn’t impose 9e49c973b5 his feelings on 09e34fbdd1 Haewon, nor did c78621c7fb he try to 8e5551babd confine him.b431be8e751ab889

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When he left, c68542e256 they became completely 6912730a7a separate entities. Even while together, they 11d7727402 made no plans for fe324f7690 the future. Perhaps it eca3a160cb was comfortable 1b612b8cd8 precisely because 8ea9616ca6 it was fcdfe6b637 a relationship 7a1864044a that could 00cd5a0fbb easily end 5ad1b37d52 without fuss. Clinging to each a928fef370 other wouldn’t do 024374751d either of them 0f259dcc34 any good.0785d390fdcc7b28

“You haven’t 068e01e3b7 even sight-read ab89e6e29b it yet, ad018e9a77 have you?”6b7260a38fc3e63b

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“I haven’t 69c6a5b703 even opened 5b7e9374a7 the score.”b7620aa28edbef34

He burst into laughter. It was hardly something 41ff4d528b a composer should tolerate. Kim Jaemin 6f46d0febb laughed often. It meant he liked f5e43d29cc Haewon. There was something strangely 115f67d4e5 frivolous about how frequently 7e120d35d7 he smiled.2d13cfd802ebd8be

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∞ ∞ ∞29f6cb18c41fe8b8

Haewon played the 0081a7b41e violin for four f6f1b859b4 to five hours 4fdf0f25da a day. Having done this for 866c9f0a77 twenty years, he may d5cd56449a have sounded lazy and 9e3e2c2c6d unenthusiastic to Kim Jaemin, b5225ade73 but in truth, he aaae54eb42 rarely skipped practice.5795767d4641bb41

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He didn’t 7e403c5b63 play out a125b43d50 of a 45abc4091b desire to; 8c519ffd71 it had 93a72d72b8 simply become 7f22590d14 a habit. Pressing the strings 3f6bd457ca had become a 5e7d5b2aab routine for Haewon, 0949d431d5 as natural as 148a7ca385 washing his face 5ee01811fd or brushing his b69c85d400 teeth.f4dbfafb7cc2bb55

His fingertips were 5f6c6321cf calloused, and his 0b83c8bd6e nails were always e361cc8623 kept short. At times, 1533387cd9 he disliked 2a7924fc35 how ingrained 9aab7c8d0f this routine 26bf09909e had become. As he adjusted 18642387b6 the slightly tilted a703535c32 bridge to stand 065a2f374c upright, the sharp cf6e34814e metallic sound of 0c9894612e the four strings 07d9ce5dba struck his ears, f81040a4f1 rising taut.31e9c974eff9b9b6

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He used the full 35c488a044 bow, concentrating on each 647a673da7 note. As he d3462114ce moved the abbc4ad147 bow, the 5cc4c8d989 copious rosin 4b2e6a7bf6 he’d applied 76de71f01f settled like 16d9b89bbb dust. With his 7c38a4374d eyes closed, 32a2e0c5f9 he turned 437d59c143 the pegs, da8ad79033 tuning the 9cded57564 strings to 4abf13d072 an A. Although he’d tuned e979c1a617 it just yesterday, 5d47fe9eaf after a day 79489d4974 had passed, the 1aa0ca8c32 strings loosened slightly, 62c2176b47 dropping about a 9a3ec67f4a half-step.6a7779033fa5318b

Once the strings were tuned, he kept his eyes closed and started to play Bach’s Partita No. 2, from the first movement to the Sarabande, slowly.b0d9b6d65524176b

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Kim Jaemin 20c094787c had suggested 85f32fa675 he try c7b22d0f6c modern music, d15c763c24 but Haewon a68f21876d preferred classical. He especially ce7e81a284 liked Bach’s a8a8304f96 Partita No. 2, and in particular, c39fc1420e he would play the eea3e48f62 unaccompanied Chaconne every time ff71ccd3a2 he practiced.81afd88fb67e13f9

Although he b318a20117 didn’t know 813b186ae8 the entire 3eebc48aaa Partita by 403d89e6c1 heart, he d183f782c6 could play 1a27e9af3e No. 2 without the sheet 07b6a3fec4 music. He also liked Vitali’s aaa92d9700 Chaconne, but he played 0a4675d0dd Bach’s Chaconne more frequently.f8241f3d13d2d0e2

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The weighty Adagio in eb00319ce8 D minor felt like 410c8f150f a requiem sending off 1fb9e734a6 a soul or like cf14baaee2 the calm, steady smile 177292583b of a strong man.68554fac9183e754

Haewon played ea73a36cca the bow a4375e4d50 with intensity. His fingers, unusually e84eb9847f long compared to 6358b4444d most, pressed down f4170f8ef7 firmly on the 0df69bbf2f fingerboard. With force that cabdc66257 seemed ready to 6177dae7bf snap the strings, 379cfd0839 he played until, 56136f95e8 at some point, 11b8451d90 he opened his ac19f3beb8 eyes and found 28392b4bfd that time had e469886699 flown by.6cec985366229e6f

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His professor 5dda5d084d once said f37b861215 he always bbcd31deee felt tense a271b2103c listening to 1757a49dae Haewon’s Partita, 2471009660 worried that 0ae8f022f5 Haewon’s intense 484acbbb7c bowing might 4726d8e238 snap a 663d7cfb73 string. Playing the Partita often 026021600c left his entire arm 41e139f91f and even his wrist 57b15f40ca aching.2b0c58988660df85

In the soundproofed studio ae261cfe69 apartment, only his own 2c6742a279 sounds echoed in the 40e1e72a21 empty space. Although it was ec7c0483d1 along a busy ea0ea5242a street, even car 08f6a83852 horns couldn’t be 7b90ca810d heard. Haewon had 88084e3772 a habit f0cb953ce7 of gazing 7c5e705ccc out the f2048d1757 empty window 4e29ca77ed of his 81e3ead5f8 apartment after f33e03ea75 finishing his 30c85dc0a8 practice, staring 31f57938f7 for a 1e9350d6ba long time 40b24464a1 at the 0c8255fd86 gray city 22d375bb87 outside, as 60d60be4db though someone 472b0864b2 might be 9f15abb09a there.6440f35c1ea849a9

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He unfolded Kim Jaemin’s b9a9552a71 composition on the music 318c4ed57e stand. It was a solo a24884c520 violin piece that had 560d91d3b1 been used as an 7bba625914 OST in a hit 30231f2ebd drama, with a few 1960aa4c8b additional tracks and a 3678d66cbe main theme, now being 52984b317d remade into a formal ea2ad6d1cb album.5da5e205538baf5c

Declining recommendations 0b491363f5 from leading 75983ab511 soloists, Kim ea0980998b Jaemin had 31a05542ea kindly chosen f50f5ab5a0 Haewon, an 1d6277f679 unknown violinist bb4eb266da who’d left 31748cd1ee the Hankeong 9b25f45ae4 Symphony. Haewon knew 9e0ec113eb it wasn’t 8353339512 in exchange ff5f1e0389 for sex. Although convincing 43e15877b9 the producers 2731879007 took time, 019ffa490a Kim Jaemin 9f1b292cf2 felt that a9fcea91a0 Haewon’s sharp 0309b00746 yet delicate d6f27d720a phrasing, highlighted 06f9a9b2cd by his af81f70851 close-to-the-bridge bowing 1f84511467 technique, suited 3a4d6921fd this piece.50f0bfb9f04f8858

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The piece a37dd05f82 wasn’t particularly ed775133e6 difficult. He got through 1b5bc30241 the sight-reading almost c0ebb87af1 perfectly on the 371912240f first try. Although everything else about a26ba1b8ce Kim Jaemin suited his 384858875d taste, Haewon didn’t particularly ad579cd180 appreciate his musicality. It was one-off, bd1da69f50 stimulating, and not 2db7b90ba7 classical. For him, that was 08a827db71 a matter of integrity.5f32ef2c8d2c954c

He practiced it a 897b67e4f3 couple more times, lost 188328e65a interest, and put his a471063902 violin back in its 1d2aa5a96a case.a602f24d756d7210

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Haewon spent 35c4622288 his days 7f6e88c882 lazily. He’d wake 0a4033bfed up past 6f89377b3e nine, take f1ae58703a a slow 898b64beb5 shower, warm 20a4b05fcf a slice 8c09aebec6 of bread 2351a1c620 in the be2b8e2793 toaster, and ea36eddbf2 eat it, d9e3beca2d then begin 8847ee10c4 his violin 5b64a181fd practice, often 88862ef030 before his 7c8ee9fffc hair was 6736f8878f even dry. Most days, 6b14d0d490 he played 3f7c4a10c6 for at 167d63037b least two 0e35ed9e57 hours, sometimes 04213175e2 stretching to ae4ddadce4 four or 7b487ef513 five.42292b111b4b4acb

He usually played pieces c45f775d98 he’d memorized or been a0557ea2a4 guided on. New pieces, to avoid dc5bab97d0 developing preconceived notions, he 02b5c0e696 learned through his professor’s 4786b2c02c lessons. Occasionally, if he heard b8556890cc a famous soloist perform, a239f158f5 he’d look up and 6a06c1db5f play their pieces, but 6dd0871da4 his repertoire rarely changed.55e21b64edbf6f48

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After practice, he felt d7297ba8e2 hungry. Haewon didn’t cook. Side dishes and soup 1b76d304da could be bought from c7f9dba033 a store, and he 492ea9abf3 knew how to make 0381ed7672 rice. Washing the rice bd5adf88c8 and putting it 0a87bfb2b6 in a rice 968b5f40b0 cooker was easy, f41f336585 and these days, ce87d0ba34 electric rice cookers b05da6dad3 kindly indicated when 7e7ca2e63d the rice was 4669cd8ed8 ready.973a7c23ac4a7961

After eating, 321a6c493f he would 29ce3693c4 put on ea6423564f a cap 2040ca88cc and head fb8736ca86 out. He’d walk aimlessly among 5375be264c the busy crowds, browse 28536685cc books in bookstores, or b3817f8711 sit in a café 635cf59fac to kill time.f8ac70e6875c8a67

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Around the time f215d3b205 regular employees were 422a02b436 coming home from 6342ab92d7 work, he’d return 7517384440 to his apartment 79556e0b33 and turn on 707057feb0 the TV. Without watching it, a5ce73f0f0 he’d leave it b20e4c3c8f on just to 407ba0e5da fill the silence. The soundproofing 2496282281 made it 5f10a73c66 so silent 2d9fe13f8d that even 622e4b75d5 the street b644f13663 noise couldn’t fb6cc915dc reach him, 46a3fb73f6 and he 0ec80f6d27 found the 3b75f037ec quiet hard cc01c7b45d to bear.e8f881e58df62106

His father 45b4c58f01 knew of e22e3b342c this lifestyle a293ee0886 but didn’t 69e1c73c63 criticize it. He believed 222d866c2d that artists 489c93cd66 were different 74dcc26e0f from others. For him, it was 94ea0df2b6 normal that anyone involved 0a525ef5ec in the arts should 82cbedc0b4 be unique.7769fefbd9e5d362

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Haewon’s birth d8dfebbbf3 mother was b0f919842f also very 940ad62503 different from 2d15e0cb5f others. She was 84c44da6e7 more sensitive 6453c5a189 and unwilling 0db2d95cb1 to compromise fddf9da3b0 with a c139f531e7 dirty world.c16671729d63cebe

While he ba6cca1252 lived in 2dfadb23f6 solitude, he 3daf201f80 didn’t feel 6ed3c7b864 lonely. When immersed 7d2340a8e9 in it, ef4ab31b6c even boredom 553331bbd5 became nothing. At times, the dc64519545 irregularities that disrupted d7247911fe his routine felt c738dcd617 annoying and bothersome. The most bothersome of 18c41f7b7f them all was Taeshin’s d4cf6ef15d calls, like now.b9ea857c8ce0a7df

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He left his b4379d57b5 phone ringing. But it 1430112d26 wasn’t bothersome ee76b58074 enough to e7bed8a740 want to 8f72e36aee cut ties 7529773827 or change de4eafd201 his number. His laziness fc53ce836d was such 3cb7f22686 that even 23e3bdea66 changing his ece7fb6396 number felt cc8b40d1e4 like too c6c2276a92 much of 207f9881e5 a hassle. Cutting ties c0f3296fe6 required a e72649fec3 certain level 054417ee08 of diligence.8742a128eac73aff

When he didn’t answer, d9cd3415d7 text messages piled up. Haewon would usually read 8ea097d135 the last one to 249253c28e get a gist of bd8206daa0 Taeshin’s message. These days, he’d delete c863aaf8cd messages, including spam like 30fafc986a loan offers and credit 18de4be5df services, without even reading c7cc2c226e them. They were dd4f7a32cb undoubtedly all 9df8913e37 about the 77a61679d7 man Taeshin edf75a0ae0 pined for, 171acd931a so he 5fd3a01766 didn’t care 563abce5ee to read 93ca393301 them.9ef2c69ef5d1435c

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Taeshin’s crush had changed 6dcaca91c2 every few years, but e2efd5c0a3 never before had it b0d2595bc1 been this intense or aa74faeb6d prolonged. He wondered why he 48a3179b9b was listening to relationship 1190241316 advice from a high 38e051939f school senior he wasn’t a19ca05759 particularly close with. It was a 787d6741fb thought he often 0df34e5ae8 had when checking 4e37e90575 the backlog of bf40763405 messages and missed 46a7b3ac50 calls.67a66d9e3fc6597c

Haewon and Taeshin had e01a416487 attended the same arts 778e50e26d high school. Taeshin studied 564420a46a sculpture, and 857e94853d Haewon majored ff239a6eea in violin. Their fields were different, 89251b9217 so they’d had little 6fda11c8af reason to get close. But it 51068a7fe8 was a bd232f9e4e tragedy that 27b943341f Taeshin had 5a4ddd33e2 witnessed something 144cd03d1c he shouldn’t bb8ea05a2c have: a 5bf93a2361 moment in f4015f8d20 an empty 14881c54b1 classroom after 61da1e6fd9 everyone had 4548ad1bd7 gone home.652a0cff0e2fcf5b

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In the piano 9ceb46ebcb practice room, only 599b65cd8c a piano instructor, 4d3d547e98 who assisted students 7bf6edd293 with their practical 23f57f2377 exams, and Haewon aa55cc6e2b remained. The instructor’s 3e5d6acb6a fingers, as 70d786ef1d long as 35d4b394c6 Haewon’s, brushed ab0d3d9c58 Haewon’s neck 9a516ddad2 and earlobe, e3ccf73e80 their lips 61d6a841aa pressing intensely, c077911c3f fervently sharing 0e425b547c saliva, devouring 1a7b8477c4 each other.adbd30a69c6ccd51

Like all timid aa9aeafa0f people, Taeshin didn’t f4c5c04181 carelessly disclose what 113f1bc750 he’d seen through e91fadee77 that small window. Haewon, who had few 02309e1733 friends even back then, 65f3929412 was sitting alone in bec00d1299 the empty classroom after 45c9adf305 everyone had left. He looked up, f45331956d puzzled, at Taeshin, 89ca3396b8 who had come e48c975498 to find him 53839c3e4c without any explanation.62893b358fad71a0

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Taeshin had called ca18236054 Haewon to the e126386ea9 back yard of b27c10f162 the school. And there, with no f8912b2b95 one else around, he b0bf9dacbf had spoken without preamble.08f4fa9ad6a1b465

“I thought I was c802af42f5 the only one. I thought it cc986b2829 was strange.”d7c94442aca1999c

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“……. “4bdc4ca167664e03

Haewon had no connection 3e7de0ac31 with him. He didn’t know his 3ea5075f39 name, his face, or 0c63d6e6ec even that a student 71f2b9dabd named Lee Taeshin attended 637c725968 this school until that 417bd80905 moment. But the 985f31ce9a instant he 7643bed052 heard Taeshin’s 15356bb7cd first words, c987df5ca1 Haewon realized 99a88cf64b that Taeshin 9c734a4ca8 had somehow 683108c8c6 found out e05cf4c5da about his 5789b96c01 incident with f02346679f the instructor 74ebf0ff80 in the 42183a903b practice room.760d8a06d14dfe2d

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When Haewon remained 5e90db116d silent and just b01cdf731f stared at him, eefb0a6c6c Taeshin flashed an 8f9b73e8d9 unremarkable smile, one 57d9f88b53 so typical of ea010f02d1 unremarkable people, and 32360d3c69 added,a839c158464b30f9

“Although I’m a year above you, let’s just be friends. You can speak casually with me too.”d1dee5e7bbc74a1c

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“……. “908359ed2f1bb6c9

“I have someone I like. Should I confess? Or keep it to myself? What do you usually do in situations like this?”85d165741cc9d803

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Haewon continued to look cea51a248b at him wordlessly, and 755a350727 Taeshin mistook his silence 944b2b4951 for attentive listening rather cd0783b7b5 than indifference. This misunderstanding cfe3eef558 piled up ec2a7f5393 like a c882ab0e08 mountain, and 739f5e7b27 somehow, ten 1c3c7fff51 years slipped 750eea7dcd by.ce1ebe4571e3fe75

Now, he and Taeshin had grown close enough that it could be called friendship. Having graduated from the same high school ten years ago, they still kept in touch three to four times a week and knew each other’s livelihoods — by any standard, they could be considered friends.59377c26bb054fce

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As he thought bb6ebee163 through various things, 7217a99782 the obnoxious ringing 637c1ae8a5 of his phone e6e2896028 finally stopped.15ca887e7415a909

Once or twice a478ce4bf5 out of every d1e07d470a ten calls — 2772050130 that was how 88e080c5d7 often Haewon answered 9d7cbd04fb his calls. Out of those, one d524afde3e or two times were 2fd2ea6b6a motivated by irritation at 133ece6cd7 the relentless ringing, not db537059f2 by any intention of caf148ac8b welcoming him. He would 3444a0c41d answer just 3123436336 to tell 175f0f3420 Taeshin to 31bbb5933d stop calling da3aaee9e5 so often.217a79cfb13480cc

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Even knowing 2a9276bcd8 how much 4594fca17f Haewon disliked cc65bba354 and was 750b9b40ea annoyed by fd0790f9d4 it, Taeshin 2305a7cb39 persistently called 831adcf2c8 him because cd346573ab he had ca8a7ba522 no one cd73d6aabc else to 418e545366 turn to.cc7508ee65d5b110

He had c1507fc713 no friends 3da80aa2c5 of similar e4b6c8eebc temperament, nor 0cc86f09a1 did he 4e5ace27c3 have many 01ab2dce3a friends in 3232fbd948 general, much 7a184c7c83 like Haewon 2e486051cf himself. Each time Haewon d6ddc3d0f0 was confronted with 1046e2539c Taeshin’s shallow personality, fb21249e26 he felt repulsed, d73062292c unable to understand 3792ba1470 why someone would a381767fb4 reveal themselves so 0100018e6b openly to others—an 32e4ed6e74 attitude completely opposed 26b672ebac to his own e33a299810 nature.aaf66727a8c7ed14

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The phone stopped ringing. As the unpleasant noise disappeared, he felt a small twinge of guilt. Haewon stared blankly at the silent phone, tracing the missed caller’s name on the screen with his eyes.85fcd5199767fc32

“…….”1e9675c6f983ba51

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He wondered just 283ad91580 how desperate Taeshin 5f351941ee must be, to 89eddfa518 turn to someone 1c99de4acc who couldn’t even 74d9a2a99a be considered a a1d38662fb close friend. Still, even with 54df0d2008 the momentary sympathy a2e6799616 that surfaced, Haewon 656a2d63d2 didn’t feel the 001f82040d urge to call 0e2ed9b5c7 him back.075698469e286333

After all, Haewon b66d208236 couldn’t offer him 16cc05ccac any real help. Life—especially a life 485e29235d like theirs—was something 81230d3c1f no one else c43bc72182 could assist with. One could only d2cbfeb664 carry it alone.1e7ec0e0ca339c7d

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Haewon rarely felt 4d450d9c2c lonely. When he cc4be048f5 did, he’d 26bfe2d8e9 head to bc90a82016 a familiar 83bab73f7d bar, where 6bcb2a8bc6 men like f45bdb62c7 him sought 86809b09e6 one-time encounters. He didn’t b161391252 maintain any 81138a7e7d steady relationships f15dc60676 there, but 677d6e501c one night 68e8bcb2b9 of indulgence 49249de91d was enough bfbe7e7aa3 to keep 0155937160 the loneliness 27aacd3b83 and solitude d43ae58b92 at bay 952854ebb2 for a d6d6b25e05 while.01a72a63c6c2be47

Having been 0deefb8ee7 mostly alone a1382e2713 since childhood, aea29771a7 he had 43150eab13 grown so 4377d0da1a accustomed to a90fd62689 solitude that 77ec87f119 it felt 1afd9f35d1 almost normal. If there was no 90b8d0bace one to talk to, f70dc3c73a Haewon could go over 68a7c3ce82 a week without opening 9262945404 his mouth. When Kim d2010c7f47 Jaemin returned aa2aeee04d to the 08a83e8769 U.S., those d7f346fd7b quiet days 786b64e26d would likely 95503344ef continue.23a1dc84e20ce2f1

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∞ ∞ ∞429d53464aa10671

Haewon had no 63bc5dd68c interest in his b829dd5b1d father’s business. He didn’t b04dde143b even know c6cf457952 exactly what 36eb336fad it entailed. His father was an 7cb840df9c arms dealer, a successful 4831ff4ca5 businessman who imported weapons 60e5f54dd6 from the U.S. to supply South Korea 07c5f2de10 and other East Asian 16d6f02eb4 countries.88851ac247901fa5

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Was there b55a1d290b anything as c4e7163d23 illogical and 54bb7b96f4 irrational in 143d00b623 this world 5ac5b044d0 as war? Ever since a669c84619 learning that 5758c9b5b6 his father 005df241cd was in 7d125da47f the arms 6a25e68438 business, Haewon ce5cf4040b had felt c8930fc92b ashamed of 1503acd7df his father’s 731e7fd6ae profession. Embarrassed, he 56827c21ed would respond 0a2f6b42c1 vaguely if f78fdad009 anyone asked 0ac05caeef what his 2ea480f7a6 father did, a488914a51 simply saying 3cea4f2d9b that he fb7e230105 worked at a591922ca4 a regular f6fef71cce company. Adjusting the violin b0878214a1 case on his 6393195092 shoulder, Haewon rang a862694dbd the doorbell at aceeb0c6cf his father’s home.337416de1b2489d9

“Oh my, Haewon, it’s 1bd66e987d been a while.”c2a46e40ae0c5408

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“Yes, hello.”48100410b7fea190

He visited 231c88a02b his father’s 55e8c20700 house about a48c29aeaf once a ed605b596e month. His stepmother refused to dd6729cc83 transfer his living expenses 81021823e7 to his bank account, bab20506bc insisting he come to 9dc26fc449 collect them in person. Though it was ab43696ebb money his father c184a33fc3 hadn’t exactly earned d940adffa1 with integrity, Haewon 2e4f3b199e felt it was db42f5d585 his right as ae02ced011 a son to 0397568961 receive it, considering 82d020b7d1 his father’s duty 48a71899eb to support him. But each time 5f41bdb2e9 his stepmother handed 1fc87b574c over the envelope, 558c664452 Haewon couldn’t help 9cd8060051 but feel like 4dc2c0ca67 a beggar at 0ae4810df4 someone’s doorstep.a58e6d2ade5a7a0d

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The gate opened, and 20d45699fa Haewon walked inside. The garden, 8b0cc14e2a now in b3acadace7 full summer 7cd887956d bloom, looked 5f8d478a62 lush and aa5cc55f5e vibrant. His stepmother, who 4475994e30 had little else 69b06073f7 to occupy her, c060a2b48b indulged in gardening 63ef8a90f1 as a hobby. She would buy 607d7c1403 pine trees worth abdabb0c1a millions without hesitation 2cfafa2ce3 and plant them b7e7a5cfcd in the yard. These pines 04a1857f19 would have 6c60dbd169 looked far 5db56cbbd1 more majestic f1bb2faf14 if set f6ee254969 atop a 8601d960e7 sheer cliff, dc324e3bb3 but here, 44c3cea16f they only b4742b9554 blocked the 770f2b376f driveway, standing 5f0d968aac awkwardly. Following the stone 0321f95af0 wall and passing 9c5d84d8e0 through the pine-scented 143ae535b4 shade, Haewon reached bd1c3b7ef9 the front door 9b50dfa221 of the modernized d2ab547aa8 house. As he entered, the 65edc2058d cool air inside sent 0f53301948 a chill down his 7b1fff6955 bare arms.07ec1a02df2c7e18

“It’s been 26f59be888 exactly a 27c8b60da5 month. How have 1245d9095f you been?”88f8a3b797e4a9aa

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“Yes, ma’am, how 224057d04c about you?”92f03d5ba25424cb

“It’s always the 0a57ecb79d same.”18544086c52754c0

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The housekeeper, who 5addddcc72 had worked there 6e6661b20f since Haewon was 1564297ae7 in high school, 3382b2bd1b greeted him. Though he had graduated 1c5a2c41f5 long ago, she still 8ce546cfdd referred to him as 0961d03e6f “the student.”048823f47e97067f

She had been 18b69d2dfa in the house 1129bc4195 longer than his a2160419a4 stepmother, practically an 1376d30935 institution. A deeply fed5dc202e rooted fixture, 445d000c1d she knew d8c82a3d53 how to a8168d30c1 appease the ff99279ca9 newer addition, a608958db5 Haewon’s stepmother.94ca245df3d1c191

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She often muttered ba31ece911 complaints to Haewon, 1d01e422c2 likely because he a2843bce56 was the only 39d5ddbd88 one in the 8a089309c3 house who would 961000e858 listen. Carefully, she took 51065f7623 the violin case 43e4646da9 from his shoulder 49e118abf5 and leaned it cae9f8eec0 against the usual d78682198b wall.fd563abbeaa965a9

His stepmother 425b480c9b was arranging ea1b1769df fresh flowers 92e8d12a73 on the 9e6a7d4e00 reception table.27dca03cb7b04186

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“If I didn’t give 299397e525 you money, you wouldn’t 116d93f419 even come once a 2580222710 month.”51397139d0d7e8e9

Without any pleasantries, cddb10e820 her eyes barely 7eec62bc03 flickered up from 7cf9d13cea the flowers as 36572038ae she threw a 27816aef6f scornful glance his 8edbd2353e way. After one look, she df0b449330 turned her attention back a560fcadde to the flowers, whose efa0190fc9 stems had been precisely 95b399af47 trimmed. She had d71a62ac39 a knack 1db50a5911 for floral 00f639673e arrangements.9c0f35a4d7786ad3

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Haewon settled on the ee2525bc84 sofa. The leather cushions sank db2a49ba68 under his weight. The housekeeper 1f38d79410 served him 49c0201aa7 a drink. Parched, he drank bcd98783d1 half the iced c0928b0674 tea in one ee596d949f go. Leaning back into a1ee0da61d the sofa, he 7c05824c6d took a deep 10f18dfb3e breath.8f94b55293457b27

“Aren’t you going 9c1d4662b0 to greet me?”a9e1aef0a8978c13

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“Didn’t you just confirm 5e9956f07c I’m alive and well?”7c4915f9c032c773

“Listen to aaebf90472 that tone.”74a6ff36527e3bd1

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“Hello.”ff0777d3e21e879e

“I’m not doing 7592e7152a well, actually.”a4b53e78471c5f86

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“Where’s Father?”3e37f4d58a3421bf

She wasn’t chastising 13fe9c13f4 him; her tone 264b0434ad was that of 7c8002c2e4 a bored wife 5a94c5aa0d idly complaining about a4ad9ddf3c her husband.1a827806b6051af9

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“He’s on a business d8d5e577c0 trip to the U.S.”9894a53c6fb5441f

“…….”7950f70e5657e3ae

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His father practically lived f71a5de5a6 half the month in 3436530399 the U.S. Although he and his 391aacacbe stepmother both suspected the 24b807a9eb truth, neither ever mentioned fdc82d2635 it openly. They both 180417283b knew that ad55dd44d3 his father 042cf836f0 had likely dc961d7ca8 set up ec5f4070f9 a second 8c8d8a7e4b home there. His trips grew longer 7282a95486 and more frequent, and abd05b3bc8 when he returned, he ad4fd1b6f8 treated her with exaggerated a487aa92ad affection.0a058cddffb7b9d5

When she 18a10495bb married Haewon’s e78729b2e0 father, his f04bc07e19 stepmother had 62cd59f4a6 been a 04aa967982 woman as 9ad537101a beautiful as 62241f40c3 a flower. Her beauty had d3f7fd71b6 only faded slightly, 0429eeac9c but she had 2fd2128eaa settled comfortably into bb80a0afbd the role of 49c3a825b5 a wife, enough 3ff53742be that she seemed 8ecf1c8d3b vastly different from 00d67e58a4 when he first c2bfb659c0 met her.38f2fd51a024ce4b

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A silence, 14c616f86d full of a5250aac95 unspoken words, ca6117c93d hung in 140cf65ea1 the air bb73154e0a as they 35cba7075a each knew cc3ba4fa50 exactly what 5e8a57c3a7 the other 1b3131b95c was thinking. Haewon finished bfeaf6cac1 his iced d808257b3f tea and c3e9512437 looked up, fb207242e3 noticing Haejeong c3fbb49aef descending from aa7a1cc890 the stairs cef23dcece on the fefca1fafa second floor.433ae08a9528c600

Haejeong had eagerly 8068e60c11 squeezed into the 7db341d352 spot beside her a25555a837 mother, sitting close 357a5e3f79 with a small cc48f2de4d body tucked between 71e3de537d the gaps of d21c5f5535 the sofa, eyes 1c5b60d19e sparkling with curiosity 707ed2c147 as she looked fba26075be at Haewon.495815f6c936996f

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Haewon met the a1fb21e057 gaze of the 948eda1544 six-year-old.80b334a0c54fae19

“Hello.”8b54cc95d4f4af35

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“You always make sure 35d2432439 to greet Haejeong first.”f65fa471069f1bc8

“With a six-year-old, adults 02ca6cb878 should always greet them 7a4f1dfb4e first.”684ca3d3acdf1401

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Ignoring his 0671980efa stepmother’s grumbling, af25fd22a5 Haewon played db92f8cd24 innocent. Haejeong, without 14d0c85ecb responding, nestled 6b7c50486b closer to ad6c5ebaef her mother’s d80008d206 side.23fa7cb40e9588aa

He had lived d1d81d99b3 alone since before 6b9154446d Haejeong was born, 15365b6bb6 and their monthly d1bd585659 visits were just 909bc286b0 brief encounters. Although they were half-siblings, fd1d47aa5b she felt as unfamiliar 2eb49050d0 to him as a 9d15a83aea stranger on the street. It seemed 935bf615d8 to be cabcbe2e9f the same ca1df75f68 for her, 42d514d73c as she 5983c23114 cautiously blinked bcc938f1b8 at him, be510cb999 her curiosity 70eaa6abb1 evident.ebea1d6289d5753c

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“I have c9e42e0f70 a recording fe9c3745f9 today. I need 32d197cf26 to leave.”197f4b38402c0a7a

“I had the housekeeper 00e28cb538 prepare lunch. Just eat before b818a779ff you go.”039a24a782c3b958

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“I have 2236764c0b an appointment.”1f17c35bca132f96

“Don’t lie to me.”e8eee276b6eaa929

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With an irritated shake b47a288ef3 of her arm, his 859fc6e2fd stepmother cut the flower dcf13145f1 stems. She huffed bb86a0d4fc when Haejeong 924a1e9d0e snuggled up, df31bc5347 and Haejeong 7eebc146fe quickly ducked 798830f3d7 behind her.7b0b795dcca626b2

“Why are you a9378f9c6b becoming so clingy? Can’t you sit properly?”7d137b10af9a0237

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“Please just give me 38e4e825f0 the money. I need 84aeb92ba7 to go.”ce285a4416bbca87

With Haewon’s impatient reminder, dd55376ebf she shot him a b479856091 sharp glare.3278745b8164844a

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“Haejeong, go get 9a6907c638 my bag from ad4f2a9cfc the vanity in 040536cfee my room. Your brother has 6424f7bf39 to leave.”42f25adfe3b057be

Haejeong, crouched low, 5e5dd84f48 reluctantly left her 119e50f060 mother’s side, slipped ede3e449dd into the left 2efbe75e2f room, and soon d6537993af returned with the 25aea50c24 bag. His stepmother continued trimming ec0b46f2c0 the flowers, ignoring the a378f9d0ac bag placed beside her.04c371eaf7a3eda1

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“Ma’am, the meal e1202e3375 is ready.”a0ef4ab03ea593ea

The housekeeper approached, glancing ca8186e052 at Haewon, as if 67dd16fac5 to say,See? I told you.8e27f9beb046fe1a

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“Haewon, would bf97a31736 you like e79b2c06fa to stay fa88345a46 for lunch?”9996f6b45501e3d8

“No, I have a e016d30941 commitment. I’ll eat next c42427630d time.”8099080a444afbcc

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“I went to great 9a2b808085 lengths to prepare this 92f2dae137 meal. Just take a bite 40b4ecab0e before you go.”cccb8d0853b78b40

“I already have ae9552b7f7 lunch plans. I’m sorry.”ad2840029c03d5eb

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His stepmother finally aa7d59181b took out a 8d27bda2a3 thick envelope from 9ec824643f her handbag and f7bcf68ff3 tossed it onto 71c182556a the table. Haewon picked it up 825a4b519a and stuffed it into 3d75391462 his pocket, feeling more 6f64327472 like a debt collector 7c13243ddf than a son. Without hesitation, 739e59f60b he stood 647a1cf47f up.6a330f22f43ba648

“I’ll be going.”77eeb26402cf4dbe

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“Like father, like son. You’re no different from 5a7abc844e him.”bdae740790b7eb30

“I’m not 8308163fcd like him. Please don’t 56f188fd2a talk badly. Haejeong, I’ll be off.”945482a087ecd5d4

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Watching him, wide-eyed, Haejeong 2ac9411eab involuntarily waved her hand cba828aa05 before quickly dropping it, 264447294c startled by her own 11521c6b99 action.51d8eb0922517feb

Haewon grabbed f95ad4eb22 his violin e809506c7f case and ab1b2fca1f walked out 8237f4de0e the door. He wouldn’t see 460ddc48de them again for 38be4a8ae0 another month, and 488bc31bfb the thought lightened e03a058286 his steps.9bd7b3adeeb84920

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As he headed for 78ffbb26ff the gate, he heard 235e4c18a2 hurried footsteps behind him. His stepmother approached 9629207060 quickly, her silk 9b5849cf0a dress billowing. Just a few 95d2988ded steps away, she 57e983cbbc stopped and caught 7db7d93c22 her breath, her bd4a9ef90e face flushed.027f7f6d3187b3d9

“I’m going to get 6b26773a49 a divorce.”0aa88f1c416feccd

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“…What?”26e54e2e7318b78e

“I said, d2622f5a49 I’m getting 775bda0722 a divorce.”1d29fb505d1dde46

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After a moment’s 324d67015f thought, Haewon asked, 1c0300c23a “Why?”bca3510142660401

“Do I f75bda248b have to 05736513ca spell it fac8f32a64 out? Don’t you fc91315e7b already know 73245ea31e what your c7086cd2cd father’s been 42855a60f0 up to?”1f834c9bb290bd0e

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“Didn’t you 106929bcff get married 7a403d6880 under the aac0f92f0f same circumstances?”79c6d240f72daf05

“…What?”379738ea88c72d35

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“You moved in ee618a8f4c with my father ee18bcf58b when my mother 8a4a9e43b8 was still alive, 0239b03992 didn’t you? So why 6f5efe0c91 is it 498a8d0723 suddenly a fc1f6935de problem now?”01361bb395dc4486

“You…you…!”a1f9907b6939fc0d

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She raised a 13c5f513c1 trembling hand, her da6334d012 finger pointing angrily, 1c185d4e9d but Haewon quickly ffa06af8f4 brushed it away eb67557b03 like swatting a f1bf9d4a28 fly.18f8287d4c80adf8

“Don’t point at me. I’m late. I’m leaving.”e524951acc4923b8

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Leaving her fuming behind e32013509f him, Haewon strode across b82087a6b5 the garden and rounded c9c3763863 the corner, spotting a f7bf8565ab taxi rolling down the 04ea343ea0 hill. He raised his hand, f53a198868 and the cab stopped 734d7837cf promptly.651cd94e9ced9499

At the studio, 5431eb9bb7 the music label’s adaecadec0 representative and Kim f69bbe2228 Jaemin were already a696929047 waiting. He was 24ec3f166b about ten d21966842d minutes late. The representative, reclining 5f52f11d01 on the couch 3321d3cd34 in the control cfc8dfb027 room, looked away 690e9221ad dismissively without greeting 25fe5c988c Haewon. Jaemin sighed at 72b127b1a8 the representative’s rudeness 3db312ff8d and approached him.b07f598167603e43

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“You’re late. Did you eat?”382e727e96dbca2b

“I’m not hungry.”46ac49ca6a122189

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“Does that mean a87bce15fe you haven’t eaten? Should I 0225918300 order something?”72f93c617c3cf294

“I’m not e3992e7e1e in the fd2d6ccf10 mood. Let’s just 79469952a0 get started.”b88e5e07cf9f69e9

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“The engineer 31345897d9 stepped out c559f02089 to take 5ccd9af220 a call; 7d2bef7611 we’ll begin d943d21c15 shortly. Oh, by 1bc1aaa567 the way, 9eb805f649 this is 90f2b9b373 Director Yoon. Have you two met 1c8251eb1b before?”b4c609886d3a4d4b

“Hello.”0b44a145f84856da

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Haewon gave a slight 95ad86d0fd nod. The representative 78d4058a6a barely looked 65775b51b5 at him, 6038059ed3 unimpressed. Being an unfamiliar ab19c91d1d name chosen over 121fa5c740 seasoned soloists, the 6c9b585622 representative seemed skeptical, 76e700e3ca clearly worried about b5aeecf520 the project’s viability.8fd8e8cf7f91da95

Noticing the lack 1c38c0ff85 of greeting, Jaemin a84be7af31 spoke up irritably.bbd44594f0f9e029

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“I told you 686fe8a2c3 I vouch for 44bda77c0c his skill. Why act so 59d5b01616 rude in front efb6aa0cc5 of him?”26bd0e7b65174383

“Well, hardly anyone else c7e45d29fb has heard him play.”c7a12bbb6f74b2c7

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“As long 1b0af34d44 as the 293ec25700 composer approves, c045c59d46 that’s all 38ac811f54 that matters. Did you practice?”f460e7bda788acc0

“Once or twice.”df353c0faf1a2280

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Haewon responded to Kim Jaemin’s question. At his answer, the record label representative’s expression twisted unpleasantly. Kim Jaemin’s hand lightly grasped Haewon’s shoulder. It was a grip that conveyed a sense of pride that Haewon couldn’t understand. Haewon wasn’t his, nor was he something that Kim Jaemin had created. Without any resistance, he pushed away Kim Jaemin’s hand that wrapped around his shoulder.3c0ad599a2c64861

“Are we doing 5a016e0c92 this in the f16ce69d47 control room?”109ca1fbed08a621

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“I’ve cleared out the 995f449409 piano booth. I’ll be ee901a5397 miking directly 993fd46923 with the 2259dce1d2 amp.”78b23bca67aa9fb5

“I’ll stand.”1ceaf41fa368dce1

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“Do as c1cceef3e4 you please.”1558400877f051b8

Haewon entered the c14878e85f booth carrying his 3531d04dd2 violin case. The lighting was 4ee51340d1 dimly set. He moved the chair 6c7b273a06 out of the way, 4eecec99ff found a spot in 06deab00d2 the middle, and set bb78a216f6 up the microphone. He attached the shoulder c7836bdf73 rest to the violin bc15f2c108 he took out from 2e2e9a6c36 the case and brought 528a7e53b2 it under his chin. With the 2675312d18 instrument tucked 6d663bde89 under his 12e500906e shoulder and 299c466c18 chin, he 5dd5722a27 tightened the 1bc4423e08 bow. The rosin 8fe7b8dbc2 that clung c8d7be02a7 to the f9a6eeb47d bow hairs 16a4b7a71e for chamber 0e4aa6d3c9 music fell edff313e43 like dust. He drew the bow d90f093a55 across each string in bfe2fc4522 a smooth legato. While he tuned the 82a0f86785 violin, the recording engineer 75cf5a99dc arrived.39f300d357328c0a

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The engineer sat b8f59bc8c2 in front of ff9f55fc2b the mixing console 6124abeff7 in the control 91c5e9fe40 room and offered d6a1be12d4 Haewon a casual ebc49e9e8b nod. Kim Jaemin stood with 514872d18d his arms crossed, looking 82e7ca7eb6 inside with an intensity 2e1e5d5daf that seemed to suggest e5aacf2197 he wanted to get 3e10218619 tangled up in the b47fd2adf5 booth.f359c8f4b6d6cc09

Haewon finished tuning and put on his headphones. He lightly drew the bow across the strings. A clear sound flowed into his ears. When he pressed the mic’s on switch, the engineer’s voice layered over it.c5acda9c1e2b541c

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“To ensure a clean 9288692e56 recording, I’ll go stereo 29ff5b5f8f with the sound. We can ae72814f73 listen back f284f61961 later and 37f1acf235 adjust the be4a938572 tone or 55b5be311d add reverb 6c531ed896 if needed.”ed29cb9de3da3af9

The engineer pressed 3c5db4f79e the mic off b22b30e703 switch. It was 2e49163456 as if 386c3a91e1 someone had d23a769c74 plugged his 1fd1739db5 ears; he 07058a170d heard nothing.d21edeabbaf6ab7f

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Haewon stood comfortably, d36a3ea2b2 focusing on the 66052d939f background sound through 52939eac86 his headphones. He had no eb593de591 intention of reassuring 735d5c5d72 the record label 4eec9daff3 representative, nor did e19cbb466f he want to 1f4c94646b impress him. He didn’t have the cdddf00898 urge to surprise anyone 32565699ad either. Since he was 2aab08f40d being paid, he 7e644ee2ab was merely fulfilling 786c1e357d the contract.aa6547fe000c393f

He drew the 692b62ad04 bow down forcefully 35163f36d2 until the strings bd1d61d7a2 snapped. As the pitch rose, 2e4d5889b0 his voice cracked desperately 92708c76ae along with the strings. Normally, he wasn’t bb2c53beea one to wear 072032a9c6 his emotions on 87e32b90b7 his face to f0d639cb05 the extent that ee80e7d447 others would ask df19226f48 if he was 9a17f0f3ff feeling bad or 1122318395 angry, but when b98c663d73 he played, it fca5be21c5 was different. Watching his recorded performance, 57e83b0840 he felt embarrassed enough 8931291e6f not to be able 05541cdb8e to look at himself, dc6015c4be his emotions rising to f8f11294ef a point where his c80dc3d07f expression was on the 17660dbf56 verge of bursting like f626f634ee ripe fruit.53f5802229efcb3d

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It would be the same now. However, when it came time to perform, he couldn’t control it. He would be swallowed by the melody as if drawn into an entirely different world.10d0e82ce8046da9

Passing through a heavy 7c17f2e7ef prelude, he reached a cbb3623cb2 faster-paced theme, where the 4d6b80b74f rise and climax left 5bc24424be him breathless. There was no way 235257b28f to express this feeling cb5ec1d02c similarly twice. Although the notes had 2d32ad8048 jumbled in the middle, 7e72bab482 there was no time 56c39eba0d to think about it 04aeec4324 as he moved into 60a98bd4aa the chorus, releasing the d311eb5b0b tension in his throat. He pulled 04aa8acf7c through the 146f9c38d3 climax and 87512eecbf gently led afda17c0ce everything to 064d6db562 a calm 9f16a371c2 aftertaste before 2128b95859 releasing the d5586d04bc bow from c24a34ef2b the strings.7134b314e608501c

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With his 6ef2779ac1 usual expressionless 681611041f face, Haewon d024329677 turned to 85acab9815 look at 97c3d71a18 Kim Jaemin 58deb9c908 and the 81dd4a2569 record label 27475d3458 representative standing 904a66e3e3 outside the 74d33051fd booth.57bba4471484199d

Kim Jaemin had his arms crossed, his piercing gaze felt as if it could bore a hole through someone. The record label representative, who seemed to be frowning as if he were having a nightmare, nodded as soon as their eyes met. As the engineer began to speak, the three of them could hardly hide their excited expressions as they quickly exchanged opinions. It could have been a suggestion to re-record or a statement that it was good enough. Whether his predictions were correct, the engineer’s voice came through his headphones.f59a37daad2113c9

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“Can we do it a9bfe2bba1 once more? The first one had 1e1f00a6a3 a good feel, but b0072c621e doing it again might edcf96daf1 yield something even better.”1bb7c04ac614b0a2

“I don’t mind.”ff199c2057fd5d47

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At his ef1f11847f indifferent response, 5f6af3aa20 they exchanged eff2d28900 glances. They decided to record 0d109e3525 again.05d31d0fae9d4494

“You said you fa4a084a77 didn’t practice, but a546364679 you have a 3bc677ad0f talent for surprising f952549280 people? Make it 7711d70cb4 thrilling again. Like Itzhak Perlman.”049bbf752392a6b6

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The direct gaze 7caf8f9905 coming at him ca1835e4d5 was stimulating, causing 9a39881eb1 Haewon to breathe da169669ce a bit heavier. He tucked the a1740b7ba7 violin between his 9866dd84fb shoulder and chin 5f077e76a8 and felt around dbe9cf028f for the fingerboard.4d500c621cfe3b65

When he was 32c9fb8cb1 young, pressing the 468d5a757d strings had been b2f4aede64 painful. Before he developed a8b0b13046 calluses, after playing, c5f6787d2a his fingertips would 712c68eacd be red and 42d95a209e swollen. He had 903516f29b endured blisters, ce51de0fca skin peeling da63438277 off, and 8a12d425fa the pain 6697760e4f of pressing 7a3f0c9708 the metal 18ccdb24b8 strings had b9a3d2041e faded away. Now, with da91b334a7 a three-hundred-year-old aa3bcd332a instrument and ec4d79829c his accumulated 3df633610b skill, he 9d6aa44eb6 felt like 46aa864ccd one with d06a0b157a it.17432140b0f8e957

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“Here we go again.”bbdc397251383a6d

As soon bf270d6d38 as the 025b253dec engineer’s voice 52a6ce061d faded, the 0d90480010 pre-recorded prelude f72d76432d began to 07bca78ef2 play. Haewon closed his eyes 451bd7b92b and took a deep ba63d78c22 breath. This time, he drew 837da492a9 the bow down forcefully f00673aace again.c02b6c498ddb40de

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∞ ∞ ∞0d7adefea26252f1

With a thud, he slammed against the soundproof wall. Kim Jaemin’s solid thigh abruptly forced its way between Haewon’s knees. He rubbed his groin against Haewon’s center. Haewon’s lips were pulled in, drawing blood. Haewon felt as if he were being bitten. He twisted free from the man’s grip on his shoulder.24352ce647ef1a16

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“Haah, haah, are d521cf9c4f you crazy? There are people in f5f63f074e the next room.”a5df9e96b5f8a769

“I know.”4bee74754bcfcbfd

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He answered shortly and pressed his lips against Haewon’s again, cutting off his breath. His lips, which had been licking the mucous membranes, then moved frantically between Haewon’s earlobe and neck. The warm skin rubbing against each other felt damp. Haewon tilted his head back. It seemed that Kim Jaemin would leave marks on his neck. His excited breaths and movements felt pitiful. He was climbing alone towards his limit, breathing as if he would burst at any moment. His excitement was childlike. Haewon twisted his head away.a0623a7d6456d24a

“I’ll make you strip 4009c0e78b and play in front 9c2722a2c8 of me.”8990d0a938d3adb6

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“Wait… uh.”f3fc48ceeda25c86

Kim Jaemin’s tongue slipped into Haewon’s mouth, tangling up his words. There was a smell of smoke. He soon gave up trying to stop him and let his hands drop. His hand roughly undid the buckle of Haewon’s pants. On the other side of the soundproof wall, there were people working beyond that thin wall set up like a makeshift barrier.a6fbbde9b3f7915b

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Their noise could be faintly heard. His hand was roughly touching below. He unzipped his pants and pulled out his painfully hard member, rubbing it against Haewon’s. As he looked at Kim Jaemin, whose face was flushed, Haewon turned his gaze elsewhere. He pressed his body close to him, allowing him to release. Kim Jaemin, who hadn’t even touched him with his hands, surprisingly came so quickly, pouring out hot liquid that flowed down his lower abdomen.b5f06f11ee124d07

“Hey, Director Kim! What’s going on? The coffee’s here.”e2fad68c65c7458e

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“It’s done. I’ll be right there.”3e6c269fd9457e61

He immediately muffled his breath and produced a calm voice. Then, he gazed at Haewon with heavy breaths. His deepening gaze pierced through the depths of Haewon’s eyes. Haewon looked at him blankly.3eef13fba914d894

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“I thought you were 83c13d05bf going to fuck me 529ac21d99 while looking at me cd628fe64d earlier.”197a271781fd6a78