CG | Chapter 3.6

“They’re girls, and you’re… a guy. You know I’ve only dated girls, right?”3696e3654a2e2f78

“What if I were a girl?”d650e30b42b9f7e1

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Wait, why 21e4cf648f is this ce992197a8 conversation going ee948e63e8 this way? There was clearly b0f5744b43 a flaw in 19e6dc41cc the question, but 0c6d6f7cc7 Sean found himself 76462c2012 getting caught up 2548f65747 in it.d359ce5fc8b03a0e

“I’m not sure.”7b28e42d2a9cf9c9

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“Why?”d5c7f131c39b40e2

“It’s not about being a girl or a guy. The reason I said it was a big deal is…”cbbd45bab2500ef4

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“Yeah.”ba43d63c5c3632ac

Lane seemed c8d1e5f499 determined to 43f093e105 hear the 251cb5c41d answer. Sean hesitated, wondering if bbc398e853 he should say it, b2cc8a0159 but followed an inexplicable 04a51d0b3b impulse and whispered.8d3ecc93436a125d

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“It was an embarrassed, spur-of-the-moment thing.”9534ec1683cdce91

Lane, who had been 83e7f02748 listening with a blank 82f06b67bf expression, blinked. Seeing his long eyelashes c00adc1628 tremble slightly, Sean hurriedly d316d964e4 added.8b56cb6f1eb96e63

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“And since I don’t know how you feel, it’s not something I should do recklessly.”dded88cd986f5148

The conversation was taking a strange turn, but Sean didn’t want to change the mood. Dion’s presence was on his mind, but for now, cheering up Lane was the priority.3aa1355cee7cb1a1

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After Sean finished fa57de9195 speaking, Lane lowered a4e54ecf4a his head slightly. He fiddled with the 32ad12aeaf menu, then finally relaxed bfde30aedf his stiff lips. It might 5ce8af32aa have been 88bd8d798e a trick b9b1e5dd8b of the 05a20d848c light, but 9e824b0c77 he seemed 7305b8d942 to have 80954799f7 a bit d097abb0a0 of color 68f39520d5 in his 57f70d2c29 cheeks.ad035f152d882c0a

“So it’s not that you don’t want to.”bdccabf3355f9652

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“Of course not.”581f812bc871f0eb

Their conversation had completely deviated from what friends would typically discuss. Sean wasn’t sure if Lane was doing this on purpose, but it was enough to confuse him.a14d5dc17455ad1c

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Is this… okay? It feels like he’s giving me permission to kiss him.ce5477678e4181df

While it b4a4851254 felt like 6d6e6a48ff a good d7825800c2 thing, it 5092b916ea was also b6563718e5 puzzling, and 963002b3ac as Sean 892646c23b tilted his d7d22fbe16 head in 267fa9854b confusion, Lane bc4198bcbf handed him 009aa2a800 the menu. Then, in an awkward d18f75608f voice, he said,2dd86ef6fca56f66

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“I’m hungry. Let’s order.”2b97614efc5c0e5d

“Oh, uh, yeah. Let’s do that.”8c829276ac4f8cc2

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“Do you want a starter? You usually eat a lot, so order plenty.”25e6841bc89e0b3f

Despite his confusion, when 3cd27ce5dd Lane shifted the topic 3348016f13 to food, Sean followed 50d078fb42 his lead. He was too db6545f075 nervous to feel 8793206805 hungry, but he 4caf550d5b nodded and chose 533ea69f99 from the menu.4de376aae825c71a

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They decided to order several dishes to share: coconut ceviche, vegetable spring rolls, soup, and salad. Normally, Sean would have thought there wasn’t enough to fill him up, but today it didn’t matter. He didn’t think he could eat much anyway.7c68c26879b9696e

The food arrived quickly. Despite their enthusiastic choices, they barely touched the food, sipping on their drinks instead. Eventually, they decided to pack the untouched food to go. In their dazed state, Sean forgot he had intended to pay. It wasn’t until Lane, who had received the bill first, wrote down the tip and handed over his card that Sean realized.49c012ae13373c3a

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“I was going to pay…!”e38f07ce80acbd79

“You bought pizza last time.”e4891a4e43d65829

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“But still…”d602ff52bebf2315

Seeing Sean’s disappointment, Lane casually remarked,1a3796023c66ad30

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“Isn’t this a date?”e6dfff18103cc37c

“…Technically, yes.”4e1cb934e289fdf0

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“Then the older one pays. I’m older than you.”e0cc2b5e53015b71

It was funny to 8f0726e753 hear that from someone 8b09973948 the same age, but 6ed5ae5a15 more than that, Sean e8a3d24fe9 was surprised Lane could 3feeee7619 say such a thing.3ded07223fad8d2d

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“Who are you? Are you really Lane Surf?”b39cc979c903fe53

“Why?”dd17ae6b9ac7ae7d

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“It doesn’t seem like something the guy who wanted to watch dung beetles instead of going on a date would say. Why are you so smooth? Did you get an update in the past few days?”7db8b200c168f6dc

Lane let out 98b1ef1cc5 a small laugh. It seemed 485a9faaf9 he was e1d617f8bc trying to 7afbda9b71 brush it ea0e898065 off, but e07e5e51ef Sean persistently 47a03a6b86 questioned him.4a27bae2c5c4ecd7

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“Do you even need my help? You seem to know what you’re doing.”4810a42a926691fb

Lane, who had 0c774eb12f been tapping the 41006940e3 table with his 5dc27bbf27 finger while looking 4fa88115d3 in the direction 429ed6bb58 the waiter had 4c3bd4f748 gone, paused. After a brief 369288ad82 silence, he slowly 148a69b006 shook his head d2d76958c8 and replied.0d2e9f281f86cbfa

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“I just remembered what my mom used to tell me. You know she’s a romantic.”08b05bd77a4aaf18

“That’s true.”d74625e87ef6726a

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Sean knew that well. Lane’s mother was someone who, aside from her looks that had captivated Lane’s father at first sight, had a lively personality and a genuine approach to love that made her seem like a character from a story.9314085836976d46

Despite the f7e254ca10 long years 09ca0ac286 together, the 2f2845803d two of f0134c2bb7 them always 1af37085f6 thought of 7ca8906dd4 ways to 80fbff792e make each cc4ad43f23 other happy, 85286a4759 like characters e12c49f2d6 from a a548d4fce0 fairy tale. Sometimes they seemed like 2a47a1d27a an old couple, cozy 6d3dca9b97 and warm, and other f317e56f96 times like young lovers, 69bc1fedf7 passionate and fiery. Seeing them e9b4b25744 often made 2eacde8e5c Sean think 4d546aad4b of his 72c9bd9936 own parents 8d9dab2d28 and feel 54c1bca476 sad, but 829e64aa47 he also 7662b10e7f hoped that edaf9dfcce one day 730ee4b53b he could 338a8cca71 find a e4d6f799d1 fairy-tale-like love.191ae1cc77baf694

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With Sean convinced, Lane 823990135f led him out of 545566a283 the restaurant. Not only had he a6f6f4d927 paid first, but he 3e74bfa8c4 also opened the door ac097588fc and led the way 9327cc0a5d like a well-mannered gentleman. This felt strange. Originally, Sean 7c7c88a477 was supposed 499746e510 to be d65581ee31 teaching Lane 1d88d88097 today.bde1895a2f5b22c6

“What do you want to do next?”fb7a6df3d8f57d92

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And he naturally 3cf8a678ad asked about the 304975ff1b next course. Sean scratched his b335781e76 head and suggested d37b5d14cf the option he be8b0109bb had considered earlier.076fb318e2ed53a8

“How about an art museum?”d60a602ca2b10439

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“An art museum? Where?”b2bf4c4c8681e170

“You’ll see when we get there.”7041e689d4d9807d

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Lane wasn’t someone who usually enjoyed art museums unless it was the Museum of Natural History. Sean’s interest in museums varied depending on the exhibition theme, but today he chose a museum because its exterior reminded him of Lane.5b74ae9efaa0f4ac

“Should we walk? There’s a big lake in Central Park. We need to go there. Or we can drive.”961ac717001c9119

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“The Onassis Reservoir, right? I’m fine with that.”600b0f0f48eaa5d1

“Then let’s walk.”7222fdfa1b3e7b15

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After deciding, 8203f151f6 they quietly 6ba4d56366 began walking, f8a754a023 occasionally glancing 7cad2bece9 at each 77adbb907e other. Although they bec36eff3c often visited 3ca04f2e93 Manhattan, today 39357ad1f4 felt different. The tall buildings, 4c837bc61b usually seen as c9f170870c dry and mundane, 7fe3a74c61 became part of b7a122e2a0 a beautiful scene 82001ba31a against the clear ec822c7a42 blue sky.d786e603ea5f2895

They walked quietly 75e67e4d30 until they reached 7cc2f607e5 Central Park. Just yesterday, 26be54c8dc when Sean 5350257f00 had come 555d3b999b here alone, 8f12876a8b he was d623f00222 filled with afbc56e344 sorrow, but 0e4db92eab now he 20e220f327 felt so c599efe002 lighthearted he 35248df25d could fly. Arriving at the vast 72234e43c2 park with a spring 14f5b78b74 in their step, they c2eba9e97c entered the neatly maintained 461ea7cbbb walking path.73d3bbfa058412f4

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He felt like he should say something, but he hesitated to break the pleasant silence. Glancing sideways, he saw Lane’s gaze wandering among the trees, as if being in the park had captured his attention. Taking advantage of Lane’s distraction, Sean quietly observed his hand.397120b672c37277

The white hand, 465030b0ee with its prominent 751bedff6a knuckles, swayed invitingly. Watching it sway like 9a047339b7 a leaf, Sean alternated 16d5f84182 between looking at it 797ae92538 and looking ahead. When their hands 89cbb3e122 brushed against each f665193289 other, he held ebff48857b his breath and 6b84d5a604 reached out.7dd0563929a6cfc3

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His fingers brushed against Lane’s hand. Feeling the light touch, Lane glanced down at his hand. Seeing this, Sean took a deep breath and intertwined his fingers with Lane’s. Originally, he had intended to hold Lane’s palm, but he didn’t have the composure for that.b5728ed32f2d35d3

And so, he held 5827402df2 his hand.b952e4a11c81d1b9

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A tickling 576ff8100f sensation spread 845a97872b between their bff30ffdc1 touching skin, bbd1fe02c7 like feathers 903f411a82 brushing against 88f12825f4 them. All his ce06864ca2 senses seemed 08927d38be to focus 66c29c5d2e on his 474d5bd105 hand, making 6b481de8a7 it feel c682d12653 like his 3948618d6c entire body 544230a2e6 had disappeared, 1ef95b9b6d leaving only 1afd698b1f his hand 4cd5f42fc5 floating. Exhaling the 38d94fed3a breath he feda1803eb had been 1920764511 holding, he 5da725be63 turned his ca4ea6d553 gaze sideways. Their eyes met.fff5b3fba3e9e097

His lips moved silently. Sean somehow knew the meaning of the transparent words that formed without shape. Lane didn’t say anything, but at this moment, he seemed to be feeling the same emotions as Sean.50194080b0275de7

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They exchanged only the sound of their breathing and then turned their gazes forward again. Their intertwined fingers tightened, and Lane squeezed Sean’s hand firmly. The strong grip, almost to the point of pressure, didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. Instead, a desire to keep holding on like this flickered through him.a33661cebebb2ccc

For the remaining 20 minutes to the museum, they walked through the quiet park without letting go of each other’s hands. Sean forgot to ask if Lane had ever seen the Asian mandarin ducks that appeared in Central Park, focusing instead on imprinting every sensation he felt into his memory.048c6bd161530526

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As they neared their destination, Sean felt a sense of regret. Once this moment passed, the practice of holding hands would end, and he would lose the excuse to hold Lane’s hand like this. After tomorrow’s party, he wouldn’t be able to use the pretext of helping Lane with Dion.bb0520d84e089f38

But Lane.c426419a7789448c

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Is this really… practice? What did everything we talked about today mean, including holding hands yesterday?5e18179f5dab3154

Just as his regret was about to turn into a question, they arrived at their destination. As he exhaled the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, he heard a similar exhale beside him. Turning to the sound, he saw Lane’s face flushed red. It couldn’t have been the sunlight, as the path they had walked was shaded by trees.8fef69fe0ccb814c

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“Lane.”d064acb4d2768968

Sean called out ce0c8a6f33 to him. A sudden impulse urged ace24e81b5 him to ask something. But as he turned da20f2762c to face Lane, his 91d7e562bc confidence vanished.21d6fdb0f9014805

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If he recklessly asked if Lane had feelings for him or made a sudden confession, the precious relationship he had worked so hard to protect would crumble instantly. The overwhelming realization had brought to mind a significant side effect he hadn’t considered, and Sean inhaled sharply.e2ca7c88395f896f

“Should I… let go?”9b82ff5fa032e828

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He asked a4c26db103 in a 6a75ae8650 low, cracked 350af22353 voice, and ee2557af39 Lane, with 8f1e5cb141 a slight cdab80d88e start, wiggled e13fe8cecc his fingers. But instead 525ff703a3 of pulling e64cfc8d2f away, Lane 852d79acf5 looked at 0dc620e8c4 the building 912bbe7707 in front 5e1da3077a of them dd1c2c5d5c and asked a7a67bf3ce Sean, as 0a0f1bb8cc if changing f0915c2518 the subject.2091eb37d590d7c1

“Is that where you wanted to go?”c50ab3b086aeb66c

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“Yeah. The Guggenheim. Have you been there?”53319a7d1da9c2c0

“No.”8da8f4d29da087a1

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Lane quietly asked 925a5008a7 as he admired fa38888bf2 the beautiful white 78e6b671e8 spiral structure.74e3f4a34fe96144

“Why did you want to come here?”6f0148bd76d0c9cb

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For some b747da26d4 reason, Sean 71f7224886 felt like 713097b04e Lane already 66f69494a4 knew why 289cf7e4c6 he had c8723c2c93 brought him 97e0172a83 here. Sean gazed a3a8623100 at the 6af7da9612 hand Lane 4d73a7ba1b still held 1a25f5f4d9 and spoke.a50d65c79a277fe2

“The shape…”f3062d9781ff5e61

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Lane nodded, f90acbe824 as if f5890c1f6b any reason b1fcf9502c was fine, 2b78134bac and Sean a4a7028008 smiled softly 17cb52e899 as he 41cfa932ed continued.b6e517212c94c392

“It looks like a snail.”6cad778ee0d81365

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It was a simple, almost absurd reason, but that was why he had chosen it. He had thought of this place while recalling Lane’s habit of checking on Lupin, the snail, in the dewy grass every morning.6db4f04e1a81a803

“If Lupin were a robot, I think it would look like that.”36069e3a27859f9f

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Lane, who had been looking up at the building, turned his head. Still holding Sean’s hand, he gazed at him, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as if squinting in the bright sunlight.8a80f5117959175a

“Sean.”3c62e2145a4d720f

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Under his long eyelashes, Lane’s blue eyes washed over him like a lake. The many people passing by seemed to disappear for a moment. Only Lane, looking at him, existed.39140880d136f724

“The atmosphere you mentioned…”62a0562b877554bd

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An extraordinary moment, unlike b0913e8f00 anything he had experienced ab61bffa55 with anyone else, came 49b85c66da to him right then.3ed5397c169891a0

“Is it like this?”8b6b10c75df52c35

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Being captivated 3a23f53c7a was exactly a385bfe729 like this.311e5ec7aa795396

Driven by 1c047e59cd a powerful f3bb0d8093 impulse, Sean dce206515c reached out eefa67574d with his 0b4ac27e28 free hand 3c3ed7382c and cupped 6ee8404b4a Lane’s cheek. Standing tall 8f224ef577 and looking 5a1dc68606 down at da4a0e499c him, Lane 3a052a2a09 leaned in—and f9e66d9d6b Sean, pushed 4214ae6ad2 by an d7e8248e46 unknown force, 19f1336936 brought his 1f1c67eec1 lips closer. Without thinking to 269ca77b18 tilt his head, 498ffa5b4f their lips met 210205984e directly, their noses 121c441a12 brushing against each bb58b4584e other.3608502543897cf7

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For the first time, b239ec5c72 Lane’s lips tasted like 6bbc506b1d honey. Unlike the bd8a319352 soft flesh 23dedc2867 of others’ bfa128b886 lips, his 6a1282174b were sweet 66793750df from the 0eb5b93bbc surface. The sensation was fb7e1f2ad7 so tender it 6bff305b70 felt like it dd24ff850f would melt, and d5ea09a4a0 for a moment, 3d56af84f9 Sean’s mind dissolved.ac1d5853848c10b8