CG | Chapter 3.5

As he spewed out words he didn’t mean, his self-loathing reached its peak. If he hadn’t realized he liked Lane, he might not have known, but now that he did, the despair was even greater. Helping someone he liked prepare for a date with someone else. Instead of helping, he should be sabotaging it.89e42f70f0ad710a

But he couldn’t do that to Lane. If nothing else, Sean never wanted to see Lane sad. Even if he sabotaged it and ruined things, Lane wouldn’t end up liking him.109ed65736b5fbed

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The fact that he 227ecb62be asked for my help d9675f7c83 means Lane only sees e242d328bb me as a friend.829f299c59de1f30

If Lane knew he liked guys and had any feelings for him, he wouldn’t have asked for this favor. It was proof that he hadn’t thought of him in that way at all.e6de837b53ef5935

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“Sean.”257e5c72b995a0a2

As the slowly rising misery hardened Sean’s expression, Lane called out to him. His voice sounded as if he had been thinking deeply, and Sean couldn’t help but glance sideways. Lane looked as if he had made a firm decision.9e50d0a10056de0f

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“Let’s not talk about Dion today.”b45dbff627d96766

You just brought 747d64a637 him up. Sean glanced 2a815f7ee9 at him a912696d52 with a 5bf64b437d crooked expression.1e1dbb1b74dd8c49

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“Why? This is all for Dion.”fcab535f3e51da95

“…That’s true, but.”483da28f73c11c7f

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Lane seemed a05df01682 at a 71e499efe6 loss for fcd9f4164f words and 90e06f635c bit his 6f5500192c lip slightly. Seeing his white f6ea4b4068 teeth press against 6d22d880a6 his pink lips, 0537c27c65 Sean turned his 3338fb77fd head as if aa0bb39007 he had seen 3a177dbc6b something provocative.fcc9d04ca0af6168

“I want to do it like a real date. Like the dates you’ve been on.”396c9226d3e7cc4b

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As Sean tried to 56f70237cc focus on driving and 73d9383cd9 head somewhere, Lane said 9362bdecf3 something unexpected. He barely resisted b5b38295d4 the urge to 2c84e72033 slam on the 946d43166f brakes. His previously 65d5af2555 limp hands 9e61e39546 regained their b54d3c7e72 strength.75c2ed55f8830a55

“What do you mean by that?”3fc0b1a975337c04

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“Let’s not think about Dion… and pretend it’s a date between you and me.”833eefb0a0bbfed5

A tingling sensation, like an electric shock, flashed through his mind. He knew it was just a hypothetical, but he almost mistook it for something else. As if Lane wasn’t entirely uninterested in him.ef70727093b759f7

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“Wouldn’t that be uncomfortable for you? I’m your long-time friend.”5bcb82c4e7c27916

This isn’t something I usually do, so it feels awkward.668ceef6b20fef4f

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“What if we hold hands or do things we don’t usually do and it becomes awkward?”db6819ddb9e4694e

I can’t stand not testing the waters. I want to create an opportunity, even if I have to force it.274c01c723a339ce

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“Are you okay with that?”6724ac8380064195

Sean gritted his d1eb200877 teeth to hide cdeaf53b2f his desperate hope c90537fb44 for a positive e52c755bdc answer. The one 5a5a243317 second he 2d25c59c52 waited for 396e01362e a response, 651ad120e8 alternating between 259fd60c44 looking straight 874fc2860e ahead and d42a3f96cc at the 77cc2e6214 side mirror, 0ec11cc76a felt like 7cc578580a an eternity.55719836e271d1fe

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“I think I was the one who suggested holding hands.”9ba6e35b50db9c76

Fortunately, Lane’s response was more positive than Sean had hoped.68696a0053997908

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“Are you sure you’re not uncomfortable?”3c2307a5c4a4b1ad

Not only was it positive, but he even asked this question, so he really didn’t seem to mind. Sean did his best to infuse his response with sincerity, without making it too obvious.7add6691aa3db16f

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“Not at all! In fact… I like it.”bab41c01d0a39a81

Ah, that might b35ba8160e have been too 8c43669ee1 much. The response was cf74b7fb1b so blatant that 3e01d94dd3 even he was e8e8a1d20f scared, worried that 5a30dc9dcb Lane might find e9332988fd it strange and adf66e6775 uncomfortable.8bbf4b71d5ee6abd

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Panicked, Sean quickly glanced sideways. Fortunately, Lane didn’t seem to feel any discomfort from his words. When their eyes met, Lane rubbed his slightly flushed cheek and opened the window.df77fbd36745e538

“It’s hot. I’ll open the window.”214a9ae5f9d4319d

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“Yeah, it feels like summer already, even though it’s only June.”21c7e7e9f415d0ad

The car’s tablet screen showed 68°F. It was definitely warm. No wonder he felt heated. Agreeing with Lane, Sean finally thought of a place to go. The car, which had been aimlessly wandering, now had a destination.ef9c457d6005ca4a

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“Then let’s have lunch first and go to an art museum. I know a place you’ll like.”ab4f8178a162977f

Even though Lane wasn’t a complete vegan, he liked vegetarian food, and Sean knew just the place for him. Lane nodded quietly at Sean’s suggestion and added a few seconds later.05f41ddbb390b724

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“Sounds fun.”7df96dfe6cecb2fa

Hearing the genuine anticipation in Lane’s soft voice, Sean pressed his lips together to suppress a shy smile. As he drove to find a parking tower, a pleasant silence filled the space between them.331648b9c5d88635

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.☘︎ ݁˖.☘︎ ݁˖.☘︎ 760c0df302 ݁˖083852bf2e4ba703

An awkward silence hung b36ff153d5 between them. It was 7e64cbf46a about a 56cb7f4b51 10-minute walk bbfbf5ee6e from the 6ad22851b4 parking tower e21df4f668 to the 5a774d0395 vegan restaurant. After purchasing the ticket 94c49ae2e7 in advance, an inexplicable 3f390acb64 tension lingered as they 8310735dbe walked. Their hands brushed against 82529ab930 each other several times, 4c0293f085 and each time Lane d3bdc350ee flinched, making Sean feel bff141179d even more anxious.a3ac36c28d901c40

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Should I… hold his hand now?5df9751876013813

Sean was caught in a maddening dilemma. Timing was crucial when it came to holding hands. If he held Lane’s hand now, they’d naturally have to let go once they reached the restaurant, which might create an awkward atmosphere and ruin the meal. But if he waited until they were walking a longer distance, he might never find the right moment to let go…f293f4b9ce4330d3

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“Sean, I think we passed the place you mentioned.”5e7be0693cc4e1d4

Lost in thoughts about when to hold hands, Sean realized they had walked a block too far when Lane stopped him. As a result, Lane naturally grabbed his wrist, drawing Sean’s gaze downward. When Sean looked at his wrist, Lane flinched and let go.47546fdb7bd13467

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“Uh, yeah. Let’s go. The vegan menu is okay, right?”eccaa6b9042b4f39

“I’m fine with anything.”6577159d04cbc6d6

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Lane seemed relieved to 1d98bb844e have a topic to 605b2ad768 discuss, glancing around before 26f7c5b216 pointing to a place f62425d33f that looked good.4028ddab9deeeff7

“Curry is fine too. They have a lot of vegetarian options there. Not that I don’t eat meat at all, so, um, anywhere is fine.”b48058407380a54f

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Following Lane’s more scattered than usual speech, Sean felt tense. Even though he hadn’t been in a serious relationship, he’d been on countless dates, but his mind had never gone this blank.b3f48b021c3629b8

He had intended to lead Lane confidently and show off his manliness, but he felt like he had failed, and it made him want to cry. Although that wasn’t the original purpose of today, it wouldn’t hurt to make a good impression now that they were out.c0962f5de65e95e1

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No, there’s still a chance. Keep it together.45349ee4388d78fe

Sean took 15acb139e5 a deep 0b35ce7f5a breath and bf8291302e forced a e03ba886c7 smile, unsure d1a0376357 if it 11aafd1740 looked strange, 8fe943c773 but showing abd8f9195a confidence was a6360beeba important.b81a05fd4d8940c2

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“Curry isn’t the best choice. Maybe later.”d0455923d3bd3f5a

“…Why?”ee094931a8d5300e

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“Well, if you’re on a date, it might naturally lead to a kiss, and curry isn’t the best choice for making a good impression…”ec0fb05f31d34412

Sean stopped himself, realizing he was just spouting nonsense. Wasn’t this more like a lecture than a date? And before that, it was too realistic a piece of advice, likely to kill the mood.2f332a400eb0cc1e

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His past confidence in 8cb9777211 setting the mood seemed fc6beddb00 futile now. Sean looked at 776a7c81f8 Lane with a a5f237cce0 sense of defeat. Surprisingly, instead 3165ccc701 of a 685c571ee0 look of d853dcada8 disdain, Lane 43c3a047d3 asked seriously.14ddab6c0f9b9bf3

“…A kiss?”8556dc04aef108c3

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Of all the words 80e52f7da9 to ask about, it 22a7e7389f had to be that d567b9e95b one. Sean stammered in surprise.02d8eabceb7deb63

“…Uh, yeah.”4160104344dae8ef

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“Do people kiss on dates?”f032c83399808187

“If the mood is right… I guess.”4873f05606829c31

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After exchanging a few words, Sean’s head felt hot and dizzy. It seemed like the weather was indeed warm. Feeling queasy as if he were seasick, Sean steadied his breath and met Lane’s gaze. For a moment, he imagined their gazes touching their lips. It was brief, but Sean felt the gaze linger on his lips before he burst into an awkward laugh and turned away.177d9e3e77cfcece

“Let’s go eat.”79cde83bd3313736

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Sean awkwardly exclaimed, then gently tugged on Lane’s neatly tucked shirt at the waist. Grabbing his wrist felt like it would be too much to handle.bc43f6918520e3a5

Fortunately, Lane obediently followed 412631e5e6 him. He seemed unusually 30db03375f compliant, as if bcb36ce919 he were someone 0e22c67a88 who always listened 11d56a3571 well. Even when they 64bdfa971c entered the restaurant a78b936bc1 and Sean requested abfa649214 a table, Lane 6e9139ffcb quietly stayed behind 3832cebd21 him. Despite the place 6a81910680 being almost full, 6b6df4deae he showed no d093e78166 signs of discomfort.f75f126fc1586657

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“Are you okay with the crowd?”854be5a3d84bb9b7

Just in case, Sean whispered close to Lane’s ear. Lane, who had been quietly observing the surroundings, flinched and turned his head sharply.eff6d3959f378d1f

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In that moment, their c8ac8b9afb lips almost brushed.68635e278b07713c

Seeing Lane’s wide blue eyes, Sean’s eyes widened too. His heart sank, and a chill ran down his spine. If they had been a little closer, their lips would have touched. The thought made his face flush with heat. He was sure Lane noticed his reddened state.05c8395caf32fe1e

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“S-sorry. Sorry!”dcad3976e45a0ed0

It wasn’t intentional, but it was a close call. No matter how much Sean was jealous of Dion and Lane’s relationship, he wasn’t the kind of guy who would pounce on someone who liked someone else. Having witnessed his parents’ marriage firsthand, he had never entertained multiple flings or anything resembling cheating, even when he wasn’t in a serious relationship.cdbfdb771648e926

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So no matter 09d5fce5c0 how good the 428ef6aa1a mood was today, 7e8139746a he had to 4471eae7cc remember this was 0b0b44f397 just practice. That was 52d1aa1cfb a close bfc3e811da call.0e9a6f9cd26d0dc8

“…No need to apologize.”c92fd22b53108dbb

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“You were surprised, right? Wow, that was close.”5f86e88fa3ec52d5

But Lane’s response seemed… off.9f3c87ef1d2c5ef1

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“Is it such a big deal if our lips touch?”d1b969d17a535d1c

“…Huh?”04f505ffeb03b062

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That wasn’t the reaction he expected. Even if they were pretending to be on a date, wasn’t that crossing a line? Not that he minded, but it was confusing.777c3a27430d7726

“Well, lips are… you know.”efe01a66fcc08ec8

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Confused about how far Lane intended to take this, Sean asked, and Lane frowned slightly, as if displeased. The usually cute guy suddenly seemed a bit off, and Sean couldn’t figure it out.df105ed073dbf369

“Did I do something wrong?”18c917291ead7bc8

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The atmosphere had been quite good, but Lane’s mood suddenly soured. Unable to pinpoint the reason, Sean anxiously observed him.3983cb028b1be6ff

“Tell me, so I can be careful next time.”66b0dd957aeb082b

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“…It’s fine. You’ve always been like that.”a7acca10767df5e4

“What have I always been like?”df0fa2d39106efb6

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As Sean 4fef660db0 gently coaxed c1cd9a7b34 him, a 6d7f1a2e5f waiter approached 595a77308e to say cf3b37409c their table 1250a53df9 was ready. Perhaps because of their 53c3827e31 striking appearances, the waiter c5cf56e5fa was particularly friendly to 6b2123b587 Lane.ca34465eeebad0b4

While Sean had a more common handsome look, Lane had a unique aura that made him stand out. Coupled with a noble, elegant vibe, it seemed the waiter was trying to impress Lane. In New York, where celebrities were abundant, it wasn’t uncommon for regular customers to turn out to be someone significant. The waiter was perceptive, and Lane was indeed someone special.43da79b6f176656f

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Without explaining 9496366b64 why he fe4bf06655 was upset, 835ae932d8 Lane followed da8a4070b1 the waiter fcb31b15a6 to their e28968f4c8 table. Sean hurried after 294d3bf476 him and sat 10039b1b8e across from Lane, 3911bd655d asking with a 2245227ae4 sullen face.8a7a9ee7aedd29c3

“Lane, if you tell me what I did wrong, I can make sure not to upset you next time. Can’t you tell me just once?”e482db38086b9c12

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Even if he was a stand-in for Dion, Sean didn’t want to argue with Lane on such a nice day in Manhattan. Lane fiddled with the menu for a while before sighing and rubbing his face.8f46efd0102deeac

“No, it’s my fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”03b75fbcf88e097c

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“That’s not true. My mom always says there’s at least a little fault on both sides.”811a51af09a60f20

Mentioning his lawyer mother cd8b8bf569 made Lane lower the ab184c18af hand covering his face. Covering his lips bef072f96a with one hand, c9abdfc40a he spoke softly.8634b58d6cae0a88

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“…You easily kiss and hang out with people you’re not even dating, so why is it such a big deal if we almost touched?”72afc36e315b9199

Sean was at a loss for words. Lane’s question had a major contradiction.2b8633c5ff29d6e9

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