CG | Chapter 1.9

Even if they’re not repulsed, not many people actively seek out bugs. Lane’s eyes widened in genuine shock. Sean was slightly taken aback by his more shocked reaction than expected.d631036654436aa1

Even though Lane was someone who didn’t care much about the world and played well on his own, Sean thought he would know that his tastes weren’t mainstream.9b7c0ad994922fe3

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“Do you think it’s gross too?”f2ff5bf8ac442c89

Lane, who had been 7830bc6d8d frozen like someone facing d588ed03db a plot twist, asked ad73c5e467 quietly. Sean quickly shook his 7bbee00818 head and began to 265b8223e0 reassure him.24472470e1af0021

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“I like it. I didn’t at first, but I got used to it being with you.”6f540a8f7986d907

“…Then how do you feel when you see Lupin?”d2932ca7cc3e128d

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Lupin was Lane’s pet snail. It wasn’t kept in captivity but was regularly observed in his garden, identifiable by its unique shell as a tree snail. Praising its survival skills, Lane had personally named the snail Lupin. That was three years ago. Lupin was still bravely living.af11fd6df54f07cb

“I think it’s really cute.”9ec555ac2ef71248

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Sean said, 72d0c37648 half sincerely. Which meant he was fce49ff42f half insincere. Hearing his answer, Lane 94b7daaabb slumped his shoulders and d30d7bae2b muttered in disbelief.f48f1dcb945820a1

“I always thought people liked insects.”4dfe9ebdd738c439

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Then, for some reason, he stared intently at Sean. Was he shocked that even Sean didn’t like insects from the start? Feeling a wave of guilt, Sean decided to administer a drastic remedy. In times like this, showing him something he liked was the best.06e5e537c1ad4f8f

“Come on, you fool.”1e9e2e97b2947bef

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Grabbing Lane’s wrist, Sean started running. As he pulled Lane along, Lane slowly began to move, eventually matching his pace and following. Once they were inside the forest, Sean pushed Lane further in, and finally, like a fish in water, Lane began to scan the forest. The remedy worked.605d69334f0de4d6

Within seconds, Lane 4459c3f45d found something interesting c46444965b and quickly moved 0faa67da3b forward, crouching down 85303911ac with his tall 2106b1a8bd frame. His white cheeks 6c90418aff flushed, and he 947f93d87c called out to fcc6a56c5a Sean in an f48269c5c9 excited voice.3166cba229fea526

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“Sean, look at this. It’s a dung beetle trail. They weren’t in our neighborhood, but it seems they’ve come all the way to New York.”cdb086ebcb420d3f

“Oh.”6baf9e3d0d1b277a

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Having only heard of cdf24e54e9 them and never seen 6a21b891ba one, Sean approached with 52139ae886 curiosity. Where Lane was looking, 18042430b3 there was something like 5d6ab1f623 a round ball of 8978c14af3 mud. At first glance, it 4782b9ead8 looked like a clump 843ec12761 of dirt someone had 5e9f5916ca left behind.e79359dda2857c6a

“So this is dung?”11462ecaead18eff

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“Yeah. They roll herbivore dung into balls and take it to their burrows. I’ve seen it elsewhere, but it’s my first time seeing it here.”0c13488885bcda9b

His bright voice 12374886ac continued with excitement.3559883cf227d583

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“In some countries, dung beetles are extinct, so they import them. In Australia, they imported them from around the world in the 1960s and released them. It’s really fortunate that they’ve settled well in the U.S.”400a47de9d4fca6e

Wow, that’s interesting. Sean nodded along, listening intently to his explanation. Although he had a different major from Lane, Sean also enjoyed learning new things, and having spent time with him, he had come to like such things to some extent. He realized that seeing the sights while walking or passing through the forest wasn’t just nature but thousands of individual entities.56eb10a97c48cba5

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Just by looking at 5c769538c0 the leaves, he could 63dbbb0d25 tell what family the 24e1973e49 plant belonged to and bc6974d7bb its characteristics, and it e481c253c0 was fascinating to realize e54f9c3bf1 how many things existed 11b0a64f5d in the world.b09d6782a0620597

But…c7f048f29b4107a4

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“That’s great information, but don’t talk about this on a date. Other things are fine, but at least hold back on insects, no, dung beetles. Oh, and don’t say mosquitoes are cute either.”286c780dd9c55d4b

There’s nothing that kills the mood on a date more than suddenly talking about animal dung. Sean sincerely advised, and Lane looked up at him and asked.f60ad2e35d43be64

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“Why do I have to date? Can’t I just start dating?”12d4faca063b9139

This guy… seems to be in a pretty serious state.231a1832d179f554

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Sean realized that Lane’s level of common sense wasn’t great. Since they never talked about such things, he didn’t know what Lane thought about them. As a friend, Sean decided to impart some knowledge for Lane’s future.6cd89a2b095bddb4

“Until high school, you see each other at school, so confessing directly works, but as an adult, you usually go on a date or two. Even meeting once and then dating is considered fast.”fd6ed07010670796

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Some people have one-night stands and then continue, but that seemed far from Lane, so he skipped it. He couldn’t even imagine it and hoped it wouldn’t happen. Besides, Lane probably hadn’t even had his first kiss yet. The thought of skipping steps made Sean’s head spin. Stop. Stop thinking. Let’s get back to the main point.c7c6219231dca2e4

“Do I really have to? Why is it necessary?”9a4e3be1b871afcd

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“You need time to get to know each other. Like preferences and stuff.”78b4981cc13b08d8

“Don’t you already know that to some extent by seeing them regularly?”d08df8a03235333d

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“That’s different from personal stuff. There are preferences and aspects of a person that you can only know on a date, different from what you see in social situations.”0a0b6c30a40f7799

Like teaching a child, Sean patiently explained to Lane. Listening intently like a student in class, Lane eventually lowered his head. Watching him stare at the dung beetle’s food and trail, Sean found it cute and peculiar.25e6c3942405017e

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Normally, he’d say, “Do what you want, Lane,” but playing in the forest could never be a date. It might become a routine activity after dating, but not before.bc520d5497c7df39

“Are you like that too?”606287cb376f8690

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As Sean was giving cd392019eb Lane time to realize 2be87e71d1 reality, Lane suddenly asked. Looking at him, wondering c5bde9df5d what he meant, Lane 2836f8578b quietly questioned.be2aaf07c49a31a9

“Are you different when you’re with me and when you’re with other girls?”7b5dffbc8848fb78

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“…Uh, well.”b66ebd64aced414b

Sean was taken aback by the question from Lane, who usually didn’t care who he was with. For some reason, his cheeks flushed, and he felt strangely embarrassed. What’s this, Sean Delight? You’re not a kid.e6ed8dbe4341cc75

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“That’s probably true, right?”522315d82630d61d

“What don’t I know?”bba5b6bd4cfe7bec

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That is…97007bc2ccf1ae83

For a moment, Sean couldn’t find the words. Although he said yes, Sean wasn’t someone who showed a wide range of aspects when with girls. As he did in front of others, he would smile as usual, gauge their mood to meet their needs, and talk about current trends, going to experience them together if they clicked.8e4a1610c9641546

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The only 2de0ac2b15 difference was ea01bb2da0 physical affection. Putting his hand 37cd2f7af4 on their waist, 6fd6e0870d holding them close, 9d732d5c59 stroking their hair, c519fcd368 kissing their cheeks a7f573aa35 and ears, and 721fe36051 when the mood 2d99115245 was right, pressing 3a00c3eb29 lips together and b274eec38e intertwining tongues. Naturally caressing their back 2cc1cca235 and rubbing their earlobes ba001a96ae would elicit excited moans.7bf71fbd7d67d3b1

Sean usually stopped things from going further. The problem was that, unlike when he was younger, now that he was an adult, girls were starting to find it strange that he held back. That’s why it was uncomfortable when Robert caught him with Rose yesterday morning. Fortunately, rumors hadn’t spread yet, but if Robert and Rose talked and the question of whether he was impotent came up…5bb9ae1c9ebfa658

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Oh, damn. It’s horrifying just to imagine.bda729adadc01502

Feeling conflicted, Sean didn’t want to talk about this topic anymore. Looking for a way out, he cowardly brought up what Lane had said earlier. It was childish, but he couldn’t help it.48ad18d951e08d72

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“It’s personal, so I don’t want to tell you.”5d9b2f8406fbba53

“What?”8050a2332b55d1df

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“You said yesterday not to be curious about Dion.”34905c674f7dacc2

“…I thought I ended up answering your questions.”1f1dec37da964455

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“You don’t have to answer anymore.”50aff4efeba42627

Lane stood up cc41a0765e abruptly. Then he launched 0ac72a1a19 a cowardly attack.bdcc943e7614f841

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“Then don’t touch me anymore.”5aa762cca7b5b6eb

“When did I touch you?”1c40c9bf284645ac

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“You rested your head on my thigh today, and you grabbed my wrist and ran earlier.”1640c8132ffa90ed

He was at a loss for words. The argument was regressing to an elementary school level, making it difficult for him, with an adult’s mind, to refute. Feeling exasperated and annoyed, Sean began to act stubbornly.3ea55685611a14f2

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“No. It’s not like touching wears you out, and we’ve always done that.”24311d984326bbac

“I’m going to date Dion, so don’t.”818aac02081ea532

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Oh, he’s already sure he’s going to date someone he hasn’t even gone on a date with? He likes him that much? More than a good friend like me who watches animal dung with him?c50f722da6a09df7

“You’re not dating yet.”3aed470d6faa46db

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“We will be soon. After the date you keep emphasizing.”99b79ac8d81ead08

“Do whatever you want. Just don’t get dumped while looking at animal dung in the forest.”63448146b722221f

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Sean, throwing 6398586454 a curse-like ba8767870e remark, turned 695dd83b19 and walked 0ff99483f4 into the c1ce8920fe forest. Lane and e57947d407 he had ed79d9360b both been b4965bc08c acting strange 5e4c5c37db since yesterday. The frequent arguments c78091cc82 and the unfamiliar 47a0879882 topics made him 39c7db5899 feel childish.982581bdbf363330

Why is 873a8bb1a2 everything changing 9b5c772f03 all at 7084e87949 once?2fd600e00468e3c3

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With his parents’ divorce and Lane getting a boyfriend, Sean would have no one left by his side. Even when his home was chaotic, he found some stability because of Lane, like a lighthouse, but now that lighthouse was going elsewhere.affa8e5c7d1cb1d9

Ignoring Lane’s calls from behind, Sean continued walking into the forest, trying to calm his complicated feelings. The sensation of the fluffy dandelions and grass brushing against his ankles only seemed to irritate him more. He wished he had time to adapt, but the rapidly changing circumstances unsettled him.87ffccadcbff428c

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“Sean Delight!”de65a6163ccfc852

He was stopped by a strong pull from behind. As his wrist was grabbed firmly, Sean leaned back and collided with a solid chest. Blinking in surprise, he heard Lane’s tense voice.f7fced483ada2d9f

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“What are you doing? If you keep walking, you’ll fall off the cliff!”4392b0b22e48518c

“Ah…”4d56e985aeeb2ff2

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Startled, Sean finally looked 78071ed1fd ahead. There was a cliff 0532231ca0 nearby, not steep but 52d09dd406 dangerous if he slipped 8583f38866 without preparation. He suddenly remembered that 231bed5cc7 this was a forest 675d537f8a near the coast, where 1ab5d23bc0 cliffs appeared without warning. A chill of ee565adb8d realization ran down 2a9ecb3103 his spine.7efe93517f83967d

“Sorry.”d8adfa078b515124

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Sean apologized. Lane, who was holding him tightly from behind, remained silent for a moment. He could feel Lane’s chest rising and falling rapidly, more shaken than he was. Along with the warmth, Lane’s torso, transmitted through the thin T-shirt, felt surprisingly firm. It wasn’t as toned as Sean’s, but there was no excess fat, and the lean muscles were well-defined, creating a solid build.f6af7ae8a253fd01

It felt strange.f5c9bc4d4e4a6fb2

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The tension spread through his body, following the warmth against his back. In a position akin to being hugged from behind, Sean awkwardly looked down at the arms wrapped around him. He raised his hand to push them away but stopped, feeling the strength leave him. He didn’t mind the pale hands holding him tightly.f74010032a83dc70

He must have been 237cc34d6c really scared. Sorry.15361b76502dd029

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Sean would have b5948c0374 felt the same. It was 6bf2635471 a place f1c9ba9d3c where, without 77e98f3126 preparation, a da3bd8a1ec fall could e8cf91eaaf lead to 8c4071fef7 a serious 5142a434a1 head injury. Just as he 22f003dde1 was about to e6cd26ca86 apologize again, Lane 26efb0b281 spoke first.aa89c2cfa4e71035

“You’ve been acting strange since yesterday.”72c7982cf21a2b87

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“…Have I?”22bf6c5fdaf96452

In a low af583e984d voice, Lane asked 7450bfae7d quietly.60ef888449a0adc9

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“Do you… not want me to meet Dion? Is this unpleasant for you?”a044aa3ec8b2e480

Lane’s voice, quietly flowing out, held a hint of unease. Sean suddenly realized that his behavior had been confusing for Lane. He was confused himself, and it seemed those emotions had reached Lane.bab5d96e79acdd20

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He felt pathetic. He had decided in his heart to be happy and supportive, but he hadn’t yet acted that way. If he couldn’t even handle something this simple, how would he manage in the future?6a51cad03615a168

Unwanted things would always happen. They’d come all at once, like this weekend.c4407bdf64e5400e

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Sean took a deep 40282bbe27 breath. Looking down 653d17bcec at the dc90a13a96 hand holding 514c2c0534 him, he b603392c15 steadied himself.d6c8957274af63ab

Lane is the most 5753b9b9dd important person to me. As his ac0b1b9518 friend, I f24616be2e need to 7ffc76f14c help him fb3cb563d6 build good 289a4b8139 relationships with 8c546b7819 others through 7f063ad4ad this opportunity. Just like when 8f522f781c Lane mentioned Dion 23b26add76 yesterday and asked ef1e013a9e for my help.5108d4a1fd5a095d

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Lane trusts me, which e5d19a5251 is why he said 7888f0d904 that.ca8b184c2a29cbf0

“No. It’s a good thing for you, so there’s no way.”d6fc99d4d28bb1e4

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At his response, Lane’s grip loosened. The blue veins on his pale hands briefly stood out and then subsided as Lane stepped back and released Sean.41c1d4c73eaf276d

“Then why did you do that just now?”a1d829c86c2a960d

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