CG | Chapter 1.8

As Sean laughed and tried to soothe him, Lane fell silent. If he didn’t like it, he would have pushed him away, but since he left him alone, it seemed his mood had improved.

Sean chuckled and yawned. Although he usually woke up well, there were times when he slept for ten hours or more when he let his guard down, and today seemed to be one of those days. He had gone to bed early, yet he still felt sleepy.

“Are you sleepy?”

Lane, who had been silent, quietly asked. Sean, who was regretfully watching the face he couldn’t see properly because Lane had stood up, shook his head.

“No. I slept a lot.”

Even as he said that, he kept yawning. Watching him quietly, Lane gently removed Sean’s arms from his waist and pushed him back towards the bed.

“If you’re tired, let’s not go out. Go back to sleep. I just stopped by to check since I couldn’t reach you.”

Lane, who wasn’t one to hold onto emotions for long, seemed to have quickly forgotten his earlier sulking and was ready to cancel today’s plans. But now it was Sean who felt regretful. Having come home early yesterday and spent a dull weekend doing nothing, he wanted to spend time with Lane today.

“I’m not tired. Let’s go. I slept plenty, so I’m fine.”

And as he had said earlier, once Lane got a boyfriend, their Sunday routine, like a ritual, would no longer be feasible… He wanted to hang out while he had the chance.

Logically, weekends were for couples. Even if that weren’t the case, he didn’t want to let Lane tell his future partner that he couldn’t free up Sundays because he had to hang out with a friend. Despite feeling a bit sad, Sean wanted to support Lane’s relationship.

Sean himself would eventually date someone properly, and when he became an adult, he would naturally form a family and drift apart. Sean didn’t want Lane to be left alone when that moment came. Since it was hard for Lane to find someone who suited him, he hoped he would gain experience and form good connections while he had the chance.

Swallowing the bittersweet feeling that crept in, Sean turned around and headed for the door. Lane didn’t bother to stop him and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Are you going to shower?”

“Yeah.”

“Take your time. I’ll wait.”

“Thanks.”

After a short exchange, Sean was about to head out to shower when he suddenly remembered something and asked Lane.

“But why was I resting my head on your thigh? Did you let me?”

“No. You clung to me.”

Lane said matter-of-factly. Although he had laid on his thigh to be annoying while watching a movie together on the sofa, it was only for a few seconds. Usually, if he got too close, Lane would frown and push him away.

“Did I? That’s strange.”

Maybe it was because he dreamed of his childhood. His body must have recognized the owner of the dream.

“Next time, just push me away without hesitation.”

“…That’s for me to decide.”

“You don’t like it when I cling to you.”

Lane, in a voice that sounded somewhat displeased like before, quietly denied.

“When did I ever?”

“You always shake me off when I cling to you!”

Ignoring Sean’s aggrieved retort, Lane turned his head as if he had no intention of answering and lay down on the bed, showing his back. Staring at his back in disbelief, Sean left the room, thinking, “Just wait and see.”

As he walked down the hallway to the bathroom, he hummed a tune. Even though they had pretended to argue just now, he felt really good because Lane had come to his house to get him. Since it was usually up to him to contact or find Lane, he felt reassured on days like this. Especially after feeling unsettled by his parents’ conversation yesterday.

When he reached the bathroom, Spencer had just finished showering and came out. Still looking grumpy from last night, he didn’t seem particularly cheerful, and his mood was indeed sour as he greeted Sean with a sarcastic morning greeting.

“You look happy, bro?”

“Me? Why?”

“You were humming as you came.”

“Was I? Didn’t realize. Well, I’m not in a bad mood.”

“How can you be? Mom and Dad are getting divorced.”

Spencer ruffled his towel-covered hair irritably. Unlike Sean’s blonde hair, his hair, with more brown mixed in, curled and scattered. The anxiety on his fingertips was visible.

“It’s their business, so there’s nothing we can do. It’s not like we didn’t see it coming. They held on until we were all grown up.”

Wasn’t it a relationship that had ended long ago, except for not being separated? They each had partners, and the love had long faded. Spencer and Scarlet only found out two years ago, but Sean had vaguely known about their relationship since he entered middle school. Since he was the only one they could confide in when something happened, his siblings grew up knowing nothing, while Sean alone mediated between his mother and father.

But he didn’t want to burden his siblings, who were already overwhelmed by the divorce, with such things… So Sean consoled Spencer to that extent.

“You sound like an adult.”

Spencer replied gloomily.

“I am an adult.”

“You’re only twenty-one. How’s that an adult?”

“Still more of an adult than you.”

Realizing he couldn’t win this conversation, Spencer changed the subject.

“Are you going to stay in the dorm, then? Or an apartment?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“I can’t, but you should stay at Lane’s house. Honestly, even if you said you were moving in permanently, they’d probably be okay with it.”

The hidden meaning was probably that he wanted Sean to take him along, so Sean firmly denied it.

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Why? Scarlet and I always say you two seem like you’ll end up dating.”

Sean’s expression turned serious at the absurd remark. Judging by Spencer’s tone, he seemed to mean it sincerely.

“I’m not gay.”

“For someone who’s not, didn’t you like it more when Lane came over than when you brought girlfriends home?”

“Because they weren’t girlfriends.”

“Then why kiss and date them for months?”

“They were looking for that kind of relationship.”

“Whatever.”

Spencer made a gesture as if to say, “Stop talking nonsense,” and turned away. Thinking about how difficult it was to deal with a high schooler in puberty, Sean sighed and entered the bathroom.

Unlike Scarlet, who didn’t tidy up after using the bathroom, Spencer always left it neat. Entering the steam-filled shower booth, Sean started by wetting his hair with lukewarm water, then reached for his shower products on the top shelf. His long fingers tapped the white body wash bottle.

The sandalwood and musk-scented British product was something Sean had been using for almost six years. He didn’t have a particular brand preference and used whatever his parents gave him or received as gifts, but this brand was what Lane had given him as a 15th birthday present. Saying he had brought it back from Europe while accompanying his mother, Lane had given him the body wash, which Sean received on his birthday.

Even after they became closer, they didn’t particularly exchange gifts, but that changed from that point. Wanting to cherish and use the first gift Lane had given him, Sean eventually couldn’t resist his curiosity and used it to shower, and Lane had noticed.

The scent suits you.

Turning his face to the side, Lane had casually complimented him, and from then on, Sean continued to use only that body wash, even after finishing the gifted bottle. Friends who had known him for a long time referred to it as “Sean’s scent.” Since he often exercised and only used body wash instead of cologne, it seemed to have become ingrained.

Scarlet and I always say you two seem like you’ll end up dating.

Sean stared at the bottle for a moment, then turned his gaze away only when the water running down his hair stung his eyes.

There’s no way that’s possible.

His softly muttered words dispersed with the sound of the water.

.☘︎ ݁˖.☘︎ ݁˖.☘︎ ݁˖

Spencer’s nonsense soon faded from Sean’s mind. After showering, it was already late lunchtime, so Sean and Lane decided to pack sandwiches and head to the forest near Lane’s house. They figured there wasn’t enough time to climb the mountain, so they opted to hang out in the neighborhood for a change.

Unlike the slightly chilly morning, the temperature had risen to a comfortable level, making the walk pleasant. The distant sounds of children playing echoed, and the surroundings were quiet. After a week of loud party music, the tranquility was a welcome change, and Sean walked with a quiet smile.

After about twenty minutes of walking, the entrance to the forest came into view. It wasn’t as well-maintained as a park, but since people often passed through, the entrance was well-cleared, making it easy to enter. It was a small forest with everything you could need, and Sean had spent a lot of time there as a child.

Seeing the greenery, Sean turned around. Unlike him, who walked quickly with long strides, Lane, despite his long legs, tended to walk slowly. Expecting Lane to be excited and rush into the forest, Sean was surprised to see him lost in thought, staring at the ground. He was lagging far behind, and Sean hadn’t heard him following.

“What are you doing, not coming?”

Sean cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted. Lane looked up. His eyes were hidden by his hair and glasses, but he looked as if a piece of his soul had drifted away. Even with the forest behind him, he showed no signs of excitement.

Finding it strange, Sean quickly ran over to Lane. Running was second nature to him, so he closed the distance in a few strides. Lane stood quietly, watching him approach.

“Are you okay? Why do you suddenly seem so down? Look over there, it’s the greenery you love.”

Lane nodded weakly. He didn’t seem excited at all, which worried Sean. He leaned forward slightly, tilting his head to look into Lane’s eyes. The blue eyes were staring straight at him.

“Lane.”

When Sean called his name, Lane finally reacted.

“…Did you mean what you said earlier?”

“What? What did I say?”

Sean blinked in confusion, and Lane’s eyelashes fluttered sharply. Suddenly avoiding his gaze, Lane turned his head away.

“That you won’t go to the forest with me anymore.”

Haha. So that’s what’s been bothering him. Sean let out a cheerful laugh and moved to face Lane, meeting his eyes as he spoke.

“If you want, we can go anytime. But what I meant was, weekends are usually for dates. During the week, you can’t really hang out because of work and classes.”

An inexplicable frustration filled Lane’s eyes and then disappeared. Unable to read what it was, Sean playfully added,

“But usually, people don’t go on forest outings for dates, so if Dion doesn’t like it, I’ll go with you instead.”

“…Usually, huh?”

“Of course.”

Lane asked in a voice that seemed unable to comprehend.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s boring.”

Unless they’re from Canada, Americans living in New York don’t do that. Sean’s confident rebuttal made Lane gasp and counter.

“There’s so much to see in the forest. Even just looking at the dirt, you can see ants, and if you’re lucky, longhorn beetles and oak leaf beetles. There’s even more to see on rainy days.”

Uh-huh, sure. Sean nodded and laughed, firmly denying it.

“Most people find that gross.”