CG | Chapter 1.6

Hearing Sean’s words, his mother hardened her expression and turned away. She placed bowls of macaroni salad and mashed potatoes on the table for the five of them, and as she brought the last dish, meatball spaghetti, she said,

“Don’t side with your father. We’re not going to see each other much longer anyway.”

“Don’t talk like that when the custody hasn’t been decided yet.”

“In case you forgot, you were the one who started cheating first. Let’s see whose side the judge takes.”

“Even if you get custody, they’ll all be adults in two years, so you won’t have much time to be involved.”

As his mother finished speaking, the table fell silent. Spencer sighed with a weary expression, and Scarlet, despite expecting it, seemed shocked and scrunched her nose as she asked,

“Is our family going to fall apart now? When my friends’ parents got divorced, I said it wouldn’t happen to us! I was confident that even though things were messy, we wouldn’t fall apart!”

Scarlet’s anger seemed to stem from that point. Watching her scream in a high-pitched voice, their mother gave her a look.

“Scarlet, is that something to say right now? But yes, we are getting a divorce. We’ve been talking about it for a while, and we decided there’s no point in maintaining the marriage anymore. You’re all almost adults now, and Sean will be working next year, so we’ve fulfilled our parental roles.”

Spencer, listening quietly, interjected.

“It feels like Sean and Jenny did the parenting.”

For reference, Jenny was their babysitter from a young age. She was a kind person who even postponed her wedding to take care of the twins until they became adults. She was Sean’s first love, or rather, not his first love, and she would turn thirty this year after her birthday.

“Spencer, watch your mouth!”

Their mother scolded him and, as if she couldn’t take it anymore, took off her apron and handed the floor to their father.

“You explain the rest. I’m exhausted from cooking while you were yelling and doing nothing.”

“What’s so exhausting about making something like meatball spaghetti?”

“If it’s so easy, why don’t you make it?”

The bickering continued. Watching them, Sean realized that this was what a relationship that had ended looked like. A relationship where only anger poured out instead of good feelings and memories. Once the fire burned out, only ashes remained, impossible to grasp.

Then what about Lane and me? We’re still close friends, but if we can’t maintain the same relationship because the person he likes is a guy…

What should I call this?

“Who was it that made a fuss about how disgusting it tasted when I made it?”

“If you’re feeding the kids, you should make it yourself. Of course, it won’t taste good if you buy frozen meatballs.”

“I bought them from Whole Foods!”

As the shouting continued, Scarlet and Spencer fell silent. Lost in thought about Lane, Sean realized it was his turn to intervene. As the older brother, he had to handle this for his younger siblings.

“Please calm down. You can have this conversation later between the two of you. You called us here about the divorce, so please explain.”

Though he was smiling, his voice had lowered. At Sean’s cool, deep voice, his father glanced at him, and his mother, slightly embarrassed, turned her gaze away. With her hands on her hips, she slowly sat down, and his father finally got to the point.

“Since you’re on break, we decided it’s best to settle this now. Your mom will move to Manhattan, and I’ll find a place too. We’ll sell this house and move to a smaller one within a month.”

“Spencer, Scarlet, since your school is here, we won’t move far. We’ll find a place nearby and take turns taking care of you. The final residence will be decided after the divorce settlement, but for now, your father and I have agreed to finalize it by the end of the year.”

Spencer, who had been listening with a face full of dissatisfaction, spoke up.

“If we’re staying in this area, can’t we just stay in this house? We’ve lived here our whole lives.”

Their mother rubbed her forehead as if tired.

“Spencer, the economy is tough right now. Considering your tuition, it’s best to sell this house and minimize unnecessary expenses. Besides, with fewer family members, living in such a big place is a waste.”

“Mom, you’re leaving us and going to New York, but you can’t even do this for us?”

“Honey, I’m not leaving you. If you want, of course, I’d like to stay with you. So let’s adjust things gradually.”

Scarlet, who had been listening quietly, suddenly got up and left. Their father glared at their mother and followed Scarlet, while their mother approached Spencer and hugged him. Although the twins generally had similar tastes, Scarlet was closer to their father, and Spencer was closer to their mother.

Sean…

He wasn’t in a position to follow anyone. He was the reliable eldest son and more of a middle manager expected to meet expectations. Even his friendship with Lane started because his parents told him to befriend him.

It seems dinner is over. Deciding to set aside portions for Scarlet and his father, Sean used a wooden spatula to scoop out their shares and spoke to his mother.

“Can I stay in the dorm then?”

At Sean’s question, his mother seemed to remember something she had forgotten and tapped her forehead. After a moment of contemplation, she finally spoke.

“Do whatever you’re comfortable with. Or should we get you an apartment? Come to think of it, it’s awkward to find a place to stay during breaks, so that might be better. We could buy a studio, or if you prefer renting, we could afford a three-bedroom. Since we don’t know where you’ll work, renting might be better.”

Though it was natural as an adult, Sean wasn’t given the option to stay with his family. Staring at the single choice, he shrugged and smiled.

“I’ll stay in the dorm for now. But when will you sell the house?”

“I want to sell it as soon as possible. This area always has a shortage of listings, so it’ll sell within a month once it’s on the market. Why do you ask?”

“Since moving will make it harder to see Lane.”

Saying it out loud, the realization hit him. The thought that it would be even harder to see Lane, whom he already only saw on weekends due to their different living arrangements, made him uncomfortable. Everything was suddenly moving quickly and unexpectedly.

Like a river swollen by rain, the situation felt like a rapid current changing everything. Without any warning or time to prepare, Sean quietly clenched his fist.

“Oh, right.”

The one who pulled him out of the current was the thought of Lane. Hearing his name, his mother showed the brightest expression of the evening and pondered.

“It’s good to stay close with Lane, so it’s better to give it some time, right? After graduating from college, even close relationships can become distant. So take this opportunity to strengthen your friendship. It’s good to keep the Surf family close.”

Though she said “good,” she meant “beneficial.” As an excellent civil lawyer, his mother was a popular figure with a guaranteed win rate, and she was just as shrewd and calculating. The help Sean received as Lane’s friend and the connections and opportunities his parents gained from parties they were invited to were countless.

“Sean, can’t we just stay at Lane’s house? He has plenty of rooms.”

“Spencer.”

His mother gave him a stern look.

“It’s not good to impose on others like that. We’re not a family that can’t afford it, so don’t even think about being a burden.”

“Ugh, seriously.”

Spencer grumbled and pulled away from their mother’s embrace. As he was about to leave in frustration, Sean stopped him.

“Spencer, take the food to Letty and Dad. Bring your portion too.”

“How can I eat in this situation?”

“Go on.”

At Sean’s quiet urging, Spencer eventually gave in. With an annoyed stomp, he took the food Sean had set aside and went to his father and Scarlet, quickly returning. They were probably talking on the terrace. With an irritated gesture, Spencer took only some spaghetti and went upstairs. Only Sean and his mother remained at the table.

“Ugh, a storm blew through. Your dad never lets things go easily. It’s exhausting.”

Watching his mother put down her fork as if she had no appetite, Sean got up. From behind his mother, who had her face buried in her hands and was silent, he poured warm milk into a cup like he did for Lane and added cocoa powder. As the sweet scent spread, his mother turned around.

“Sean, you’re the only one I can count on.”

He handed her a mug, knowing she always drank cocoa when tired. She took the mug, sipped the cocoa, and remained silent before getting up.

“You’ve worked hard. Let me know if you need more allowance, and I’ll go rest now. If there’s anything else, let’s talk tomorrow. Oh, isn’t tomorrow the day you go to the forest with Lane?”

Sean shrugged at her words. Normally, it would be, but after today’s bombshell announcement, he wasn’t sure if the plan would hold. They had been exploring the nearby forest every Sunday since elementary school. During breaks, they often went to various national parks with Lane’s parents, but they usually observed the forest next to Lane’s house on Sundays. Although they knew the place well by now, Lane loved being in the forest.

“I’m not sure.”

“Oh, why? Did you two fight?”

“No, it’s not that.”

Not wanting to elaborate, Sean kept his mouth shut. He didn’t want to make up an excuse like “He might get a girlfriend,” nor did he want to say “boyfriend.” His mother was conservative and showed strong aversion to such topics. Although she usually didn’t show it to others because it would tarnish her image, she revealed that side to her family, so he didn’t want to say anything that might reflect poorly on Lane.

“I’m just tired.”

“That’s understandable. You haven’t had a break since vacation started, just training. If you want, you can quit right away.”

“No, I should at least finish this match.”

At Sean’s words, his mother nodded and got up. Watching her walk away after patting his shoulder, Sean rested his chin on the table, alone.

The food had already gone cold.

Remembering how hungry he had been earlier, he served himself some spaghetti. Twirling it with a fork, he took a bite, and it tasted just like it always had. The bland tomato sauce his mother insisted on for a low-sodium diet.

After one bite of the cold spaghetti, his appetite disappeared. Guarding the empty table, he finally got up and went to his room.

.☘︎ ݁˖.☘︎ ݁˖.☘︎ ݁˖

Last night, Sean had a dream. With the daily training paused for the break, his body wasn’t as exhausted, so unlike usual when he would fall asleep as if fainting, he had a long dream.

In the dream, Sean returned to his childhood. In the fragmented scenes, he was initially feeling very upset. He tried to grab his parents’ attention, which was entirely focused on his younger twin siblings, but he couldn’t reclaim them from the siblings who would cause trouble the moment they were out of sight.

It was probably around that time that Lane moved in. It was the same in the dream. Rumors spread that the large, isolated property in the neighborhood, about a 30-minute walk away for a child, finally had an owner, and soon after, Lane transferred to Sean’s class. Even then, Lane had a small head covered messily with hair, but his clothes and fair skin were so pretty that no one teased him much.