CF Chapter 5

Yudam froze as the man’s voice snapped through the air, calling her back.

 

She turned around cautiously, and saw him approaching again, eyes full of suspicion.

 

Though he looked weary, there was something tense, almost sinister, in the way he stared at her.

 

“W-what is it…?”

 

His gaze swept up and down her body, and Yudam’s eyes flickered with unease.

 

Did he find out?

 

She’d tried her best to act calm, to avoid giving away that she had hidden anything. But something about the mood felt wrong.

 

“If you’re skimming off the top, you’ll fucking die.”

 

“I know…Ah!”

 

She’d started to say she understood, but her words turned into a scream at the end.

 

Without warning, the man lunged forward and began patting her down.

 

She’d feared he might search her, but he was really doing it, and his hands didn’t hesitate.

 

“Don’t touch me!”

 

She recoiled when his rough hand brushed against her chest, curling her shoulders forward.

 

When she felt his fingers brush against the hem of her skirt, she twisted away in panic.

 

“I said don’t…Ah!”

 

As if telling her to stay still, the man slammed her against the wall.

 

The impact jolted her shoulder, sending a dull throb through her bones, but Yudam squirmed and thrashed, desperate to escape his hands.

 

She shouted, twisted, fought, but it was no use.

 

He yanked the hem of her blouse, which had slipped free in the struggle.

 

“Hngh…”

 

Yudam hurriedly clutched at her blouse, trying to protect what little she could.

 

The corridor leading to the staff quarters was tucked away where passengers wouldn’t see, isolated, quiet.

 

She’d come off her shift last, and the parties were long over. It was too early for the sun, too late for anyone else to be around.

 

Somewhere in the scuffle, the neatly tied hair she’d worn up had come loose, falling in tangled strands around her face.

 

Fortunately, or perhaps not, the search didn’t last long.

 

A yellowed scrap of cash peeked out from where it had been tucked between her blouse and skirt.

 

“Trying to hide this from me, huh?”

 

“No….!”

 

The man snatched the tightly folded bills that Yudam had pressed flat over and over again before hiding.

 

Seeing the money torn from her like that, Yudam sank her teeth hard into the back of the man’s hand still gripping her waist.

 

“Ah, you little…!”

 

He tried to pull free, but Yudam bit down like she’d break her jaw before letting go.

 

Her fury and despair turned into raw tenacity, if she couldn’t stop him, she would at least hurt him.

 

As he flailed his arm, her head whipped back and forth like a ragdoll.

 

Still, she wouldn’t let go.

In frustration, the man grabbed a fistful of her hair.

 

The pain ripped through her scalp. She heard a crunch inside her mouth, maybe a tooth breaking, just before her grip gave out and her body flew to the ground.

 

She hit the floor with a dull thud, sprawled out, unable to break her fall.

 

“You fucking bitch!”

 

He stood over her, shaking out her hair with a scowl, then raised a hand high in the air.

 

But Yudam didn’t flinch.

 

She looked up at him straight on, tangled hair falling over her bruised face, eyes wide with venom. Not even a blink.

 

And even though her glare dared him to hit her, he didn’t.

 

“Fuck’s sake…”

 

He remembered the order, not to leave marks on her face. Cursing to himself, the man spat a string of expletives and finally walked away.

 

Yudam, crumpled on the floor like a discarded doll, slowly pushed herself up.

 

The feel of her loosened uniform clinging to her skin made her sick.

 

⚜︎ ⚜︎ ⚜︎

 

Back in her room, Yudam’s body collapsed heavily to the floor. There wasn’t a single spot that didn’t ache.

 

“…Ha.”

 

Her head kept spinning, and the nausea wouldn’t subside.

 

Even in this battered state, the image of those two missing fifty-thousand won bills flickered before her eyes.

 

Maybe she should’ve hidden them in her underwear.

 

She’d hesitated, worrying it would be too obvious and awkward, but now, of all times, she regretted it.

 

Then again, had she done that, things might have turned out worse. They might’ve stripped her bare to find them.

 

“…Right.”

 

As if it mattered now.

 

Yudam hugged her knees to her chest and buried her face in the crook of her arms.

 

She just wanted to send something to her brother.

 

Even if the money ended up being taken away after she managed to send it, she’d never know unless she tried.

 

To have no chance at all, that was the most suffocating thought.

 

Possibility…

 

Somewhere, the sound of waves rolled in.

 

Even if not like before, could she live like a human being again?

 

Would there come a day when her brother grew stronger, and they could go out and share a good meal together? When she could return to school and resume her studies?

 

No, could she even get off this ship?

 

What if she never set foot on land again? What if she never saw Yuha again? What if she died here, working endlessly for money?

 

The thought of her life being forever anchored to this freezing winter sea sent a cold dread through her.

 

She didn’t need to close her eyes to feel the darkness swallowing her whole.

 

Would spring ever come for her?

 

Then, a poem she once read with her parents surfaced in her memory.

 

 

‘《Does Spring Bloom Even on Frozen Seas?》 You really named me after that poem?’

 

‘Of course. From now on, you’re Jin Yudam. Every time someone calls your name, spring will blossom like a flower. I’d better start calling it often, then.’

 

‘What do you think? Do you like it?’

 

 

The sound of waves came again.

 

And in between, her parents’ voices gently threaded through, those tender voices filled with pride as they spoke of the beautiful poem that inspired her name.

 

The way they beamed, unable to hide their joy, as if she’d been born anew.

 

Would her name ever be spoken like that again?

 

“….”

 

The blood pooled in her mouth rolled beneath her tongue.

 

Still, Yudam pictured that moment again and again, one that may never return.

 

⚜︎ ⚜︎ ⚜︎

 

“What’s with your face?”

 

“Ah, I just didn’t get much sleep.”

 

Yudam, anticipating the question, had already prepared her answer. In truth, she hadn’t slept a wink.

 

Her mouth was a little swollen, but since there were no visible bruises, she didn’t look much different on the outside.

 

Still, the fatigue around her eyes was hard to hide.

 

“Yeah, I guess the waves were pretty loud last night. Living on a ship, that’s just how it is.”

 

Nodding in agreement, Yudam gathered up a load of tablecloths and made her way toward the laundry room.

 

“So, how was it?”

 

Dohee walked beside her, curiosity lighting up her face as she helped carry the linens.

 

“What was it?”

 

Dohee’s voice dropped into a whisper. She spoke cautiously, muffling herself behind the bundle of tablecloths.

 

“A Lounge.”

 

“Oh… that place.”

 

Just hearing the name brought back the man she’d managed to forget for a moment.

 

Any incident in the Lounge was strictly confidential, even among the staff, people were careful with their words. Still, important information had a way of circulating in hushed tones.

 

Like the talk about tips.

 

“Do they really give a lot?”

 

“Let’s just say… enough not to complain?”

 

“I’ve never been there, not even once. Everyone else has, at least once. They say it’s like heaven on earth, right?”

 

Heaven, huh.

 

That’s what she’d thought at first too, that it would be something refined and elegant, like a gathering of aristocrats.

 

And sure, the place itself was beautiful. But the atmosphere… not so much.

 

Whether it was always like that and people just didn’t talk about it, or if it was just the way things unfolded last night, she couldn’t be sure.

 

In one corner of the laundry room, freshly washed tablecloths were already neatly stacked. Yudam loaded the ones she’d brought into the washer and took a new set in her arms.

 

“I’ll go drop these off, they go to a different table.”

 

As she turned down the hallway, the corridor curved toward the deck.

 

Through a narrow corner, the view beyond confirmed the ship was still sailing smoothly.

 

The sea was calm today. A gentle warm breeze made the air feel softer, almost springlike. Sunlight shimmered over the water’s surface, peaceful and bright.

 

Last night, so long, so dark, felt like a distant memory.

 

Maybe it was because she’d been thinking about the Lounge again, or maybe it was the brilliance of the daylight, but she couldn’t shake the image of that man from her mind.

 

His expression, awash in euphoria, had seemed almost like someone hearing a hymn of joy.

 

She probably wouldn’t see him again unless she was sent back to the Lounge…

 

“Ah…!”

 

Just as she rounded the corner, Yudam froze.

 

She instinctively stepped back, putting distance between herself and the man she least wanted to see.

 

The loan shark, the one who had ruthlessly taken every last won she’d tried to hide the night before.

 

He wasn’t supposed to come into staff-only areas, but there he was, in the narrow hallway used by employees.

 

Judging by the storm still raging on his face, he clearly wasn’t finished.

 

When he spotted Yudam, his expression contorted with anger as he stalked toward her.

 

“You try anything again today, and I swear…”

 

His voice dropped low and menacing as he looked her over.

 

Yudam kept her gaze fixed on the floor, her expression stiff and unreadable.

 

Watching her closely, the man suddenly yanked up one sleeve.