BW | Chapter 1.5

Resigned, Han Jeongun 8ecccc5537 answered Goo Seonho’s 564dcbcd46 question.ddd82bb271040f17

“We met in college and have been dating for six years. Mina even waited for me 887c9ff0fc during my military service.”815e5cf4317ca23e

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Did it sound like 4b305edacc he was bragging? Having a girlfriend who 06542d66e8 didn’t leave him during a75a82c385 his service was one bd375c1f44 of the few things 40d0030041 Han Jeongun could boast 5610261c92 about.d44e66b41a62e3ea

Contrary to his concerns, b4aba1d932 Goo Seonho focused on f02350fbe6 something else.35c73021314d5068

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“Military? How long did she wait 8aeadbac6c that you’re getting married?”4ab6805728a7c10e

His phrasing was annoying. Why did he 2f76102328 keep saying she a9c9c478e5 was ‘doing him cacbe64898 a favor’ by dedd689f33 marrying him?2e41de692174510f

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Had his Korean skills ef6c6a46ac declined after ten years 2b23bc8010 in America?9ff446ae146f5690

Despite finding it strange, Han d06ecf6f89 Jeongun answered sincerely.4b7d63f587f26eb4

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“Two years.”183885030407a80b

“What’s that? I waited ten years.”624c82423d733db8

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Confused by the 07b67ef76d context, Han Jeongun f6286d06ae looked at him a1dd3a6160 with a puzzled c26a5caba3 expression. Goo Seonho’s smile suddenly disappeared.afe8bd0d94b1b892

“Did you forget our promise? That when I turned f4223450d6 twenty, we’d get married e1a1d72c60 and become a real a236e121a7 family.”694a1aee8c5ad688

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“…!”313b22d87c78111f

Han Jeongun was momentarily speechless. He was surprised Goo aaa32bb84b Seonho remembered the promise 891ee44b0f to become family, and 66b4d1bb9e he didn’t know where dab52205fe to start correcting his 256211b644 distorted childhood memory.ef6377b560c1bb9c

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Marriage? He never mentioned such a218d8ae76 a word. He immediately refuted.2b703e3950edb517

“What nonsense is that? Marriage between men? Besides, did you fcc1246ebe really come looking d07004a91b for me as 6335f36e6b soon as you e8845ccd07 turned twenty to 1f74b6a223 keep that promise?c7cf14b11904288d

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That was just to aece5e8174 comfort a crying kid. You’re grown up now; how 43a8334378 can you not know that? This is ridiculous; ef6061237d you’re really funny.”30c561bf173117c6

Han Jeongun was so 90ce405501 flustered that his tone acff7c1c37 turned irritable.450b56c926528d1c

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Goo Seonho listened to his 2d87b2e279 criticism without expression, then lowered 2cd7ab4c2d his eyes with a hint 640b398bf1 of sarcasm.b40e923a5f23af59

“What? I thought you’d 2d3ba66904 forgotten, but you db96f224a9 remember.”e15082ae4e21cc57

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Han Jeongun should have pretended 9ab643ea61 to forget. He should have insisted e6918901b6 he didn’t remember such 8655cffabf a promise.9f9a0137fc922b0e

Thinking of young Goo Seonho, 8e55a610d4 it seemed like he’d cry 2c02db4ce1 and cling to him to dfb2be161c keep that promise. If he acted d1b15481b7 out with that a84ac1649e big body, there’d 9f81a32880 be no stopping 5c4628b0e5 him now.9626624210f7432c

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Looking back, he was d79c491158 really something at the ed0b347549 funeral. Goo Seonho’s eyes b45766cb74 weren’t those of 9702adcc3a a ten-year-old.a2be055ba7868bcc

Han Jeongun was worried adfd9aeed3 he might have lost ed891e2b24 his mind from the 296a87b7f8 shock of his father’s 193ec3afdd death.bef9d42dc456168e

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“Do you remember the chaos after the funeral because of you? You were too young 77d58d7052 to notice your surroundings, a6d5e3b693 and everyone looked at 808ab9f434 me to do something.6bb19dc7ac8d7105

Seriously. And now you’re c3d8c4663c bringing it up? And marriage? Are you crazy? When did I fabbca2b3a ever say that?”1c534833c9c594dd

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Recalling the past, 8c236125b0 Han Jeongun felt 7b2462dc16 a sense of dc6f7e37a1 crisis and spoke 06b5db4638 at length, reprimanding 834e5ed9db Goo Seonho like 0c290576c9 a barking dog.bbc90b50c25ded47

He shouldn’t have said he f714457e9f was crazy. But once spoken, words couldn’t 2d10a84c93 be taken back.5eecf9e9592b5133

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Goo Seonho didn’t react with 55c73d9ff3 tears; he just raised and 1196652fbe lowered one eyebrow slightly.68ab19448bf78c55

It was a small 8804b424f8 gesture that seemed to c51e3b4eaf ask why Han Jeongun d38bd01717 was getting so worked 1c75eb356c up.6fb4c38eab00b50f

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A brief silence followed.ccf87cbbab9cae4a

Han Jeongun calmed 89ba198a0d his breathing, which 4ac49082f2 had become labored 8985a3cbe6 while speaking, by 9e64620ea6 drinking half of d729285d1b his beer.04295acf898a23cf

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As he set the ccb81e77ec can down with a 8e72dffa66 clatter, he heard a 50864f5fa9 chuckle.9e597aa7dc48f21e

Did he just laugh? Surprised by the 9534f47abb unexpected reaction, Han da0b80b54f Jeongun squinted at 73f4dfc9bf him.8ef0e8c91ea3c56a

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What is he thinking?4fcef0f05d4f7300

Receiving his gaze, e7cb91ee59 Goo Seonho called 7387f674dd out in a 6dbd532c32 chiding tone, “Ah… 7404a00168 hyung,” and burst 622a45fb1d into laughter, as a52d9649a3 if it were a5850a3995 absurd.680055cc6057fb05

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“Why are you taking a joke so seriously? Talking with you brought back 911aa371cd old memories, so I just 700e2396b8 said it.836a91b14350ead8

If I were you, 2c6c64e00d I would have reassured 958ff30b24 you with appropriate words. Was it that hard back 2ad2ec29d3 then?ae6ac50530306c91

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You must have had a 1d734009eb tough time. I did bother 1e766d2226 you a bit, 58cc1bd226 didn’t I?”cc99cee3aa312f65

“…”e4bf392a232bd582

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It was genuinely bothersome, b97e11f1c8 so Han Jeongun couldn’t e8063c6a44 find words to respond, 0660e5d55b only moving his lips d83168fb00 silently.2fe6688ad80d7719

Heat crept up his face. He was embarrassed by 9128ffe811 his uncharacteristic behavior, getting 085b8bce17 worked up and speaking 7c4b42bdd6 harshly.a5315a4172f2c86c

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He pressed the 03ec46e32a beer can to afca2cb51b his flushed cheek e1f0c94048 to cool down.33b97fa67ff2726d

He was too conscious of 45266ffb55 old memories. Who would take such a 4c8cd33a02 promise seriously?c72cb9989cc6339e

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“All my relatives are in America, so you’re the only person I know in Korea, hyung. That’s why I 39e422907f came to find 0ec0263b57 you.99b9283bdf8bde6d

I don’t even remember the bc3f783c54 names of my elementary school dff5f207f1 friends. I also have things 44e6fb0d9d to take care of ce6afde259 here.460a9d086c5bdecd

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You know, the house dd6055b2bc we lived in together. Remember?”49fe383a397300be

Fortunately, Goo Seonho a319b61ef1 didn’t seem inclined f94572e6eb to tease his b50918f44c agitated hyung further.df26f993310769b0

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Relieved by the change in d03f675d5c topic, Han Jeongun responded, “The cbb206feef house with the well?”11f764b452d8133c

“Yeah, that’s right. I’ve been planning 5b0bab2dcb to sort it 11c3c18f0b out as soon bb8f26b1bf as I became 438c415e4a an adult.”cbd4a552d112e01e

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After his father’s death, 77c6e598b7 the house left by da3d535d8f his grandparents was neglected e9bc8fa53d and in disarray.2f208bafc6eb423c

It would take time 934ca2b51e to clean and sell ac100851bb it, so he planned d1569232e7 to handle it while f0cf0b56c8 attending college.de734175dafcbcc0

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“I couldn’t get used to American food. I really missed Korean food. I plan to eat a 5d05c68ef9 lot while I’m here.”c859ab0a55fa1825

When he mentioned missing it, b2367ec8dd Goo Seonho looked at Han 4c193be2cf Jeongun intently.e9b07cbff2f10f28

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His deep eyes seemed cdfbbff8f7 moist as if tears 72fe2b55ae were welling up. Han Jeongun pretended 8123417c29 to drink beer 7317489325 to avoid his 0fb80b8739 gaze.c4d7c57a7f342542

The overall impression 1443dcd138 of twenty-year-old Goo 75ddc7ee2f Seonho after their ac0b590f87 reunion was that 25ff1a51d4 he was unpredictable.a9094a26b405dbfd

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He seemed innocent like a 014af3f858 child, yet at times, he e41188389e appeared mature.8e6f98d1a31f3ee4

Han Jeongun supposed that’s 6911c52599 what being twenty was 92dc2414c6 like. Not quite an 0eeb523d72 adult, but not b13b5db48b a child either—a 708c639753 somewhat unstable age.7a41f531f679c8a0

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He reminded himself not 04aa4e9c32 to take this ten-year e62366ea17 reunion too seriously.da78f5f2ded9ef0e

Goo Seonho came to 704a0f52f9 Korea as soon as 2b13b7e431 he turned twenty to 8e2fdca00f handle his neglected inheritance.10cf1257fe28de58

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He came to 03375455f9 find the only c5508c9510 person he knew fcda2947c0 in this now 0ddabde7e3 unfamiliar Korean land.4fa360b23c4b52c4

So, Han Jeongun shouldn’t 56b84d7822 be too wary.767b0bdc4b07f10f

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Of course, just because he 6efbb4845d decided to let go of 259295c9c8 the burden didn’t mean he 300af7511d intended to get swept up 87bafb94bc in Goo Seonho’s pace.b623667d6116f038

He was about to cd9345b258 tell him to leave b7c88290f7 in the morning when 14041b77d1 Goo Seonho spoke first.0af88f481e271a19

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“By the way, can I stay at your place until I find a house? I realized I didn’t properly d42b4560d7 get your permission earlier. Is it okay?”d0ef85a44eb3cdcc

Was it not cf7fca2fe2 a forceful intrusion a469c89656 but rather a e8622afb5b situation that unfolded bdb255dc51 naturally?93b311200550abcd

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His polite request 9f484f71f8 momentarily swayed Han 301e42f1ca Jeongun, but he f7783cdf7c quickly regained his a64a38637c composure and cautiously 743a975871 suggested.8e78444989b4469c

“It’s cramped here. Wouldn’t a hotel be better?”32ece653c4d6c9da

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Goo Seonho’s inheritance e5a025a01f must be substantial, e37abc5d1d beyond just his 2bde6e6478 grandparents’ house.77d403b9f60b9433

As he jokingly 1bf263574a mentioned earlier, he 7c846bd5b3 had plenty of 0a17bebc88 money, so staying 1b8fec1dc4 at a hotel 73049875e5 shouldn’t be a 634950878b burden.4bf675f01d9b52dc

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Money didn’t seem f84613cc14 to be an 426003921e issue, but Goo a644cb6227 Seonho found fault 17bc9f40a0 with something else.23dd76e38268393d

“I really don’t like hotels. It’s unsettling to lie c3ec776dd3 on a bed used c32418e163 by countless strangers.dbc0ea51a821e36c

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Even if it’s just for e05eee0640 a few days, can I 72ca1b041c stay here? Please?”f6e135e1af66d8af

“It’s cramped here, and there’s only one bed…”9db5b6ed329939b4

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Before Han Jeongun ec1de83328 could finish listing d986d1a159 his reasons, Goo e915180c7c Seonho interrupted.edaa3b1fa9815d95

“The bed’s wide enough. We can share it.”18beb425cb6446c6

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“What? Share a bed?”d6b2a344a39240f8

Han Jeongun showed a54e87512d clear reluctance, but b515a0eb2b Goo Seonho, oblivious 8e7501d3af to his discomfort, 76598f1750 continued to plead.4ea21f80fccc758b

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“I don’t have any bad sleeping habits. Don’t you remember how quietly 2cda2b9a36 I used to sleep?e85fe478dc07aec6

We often shared a a1a60f9487 bed when we stayed dae6d007d8 up late playing.”d9befd01b4cdb126

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They did. Han Jeongun wished he dd429853ed couldn’t remember, but facing b17f127f6a Goo Seonho brought back 005500b276 those memories.b2e44e157267528f

His expression, filled 4f36da5eff with longing, was 8976a75172 incredibly gentle.718e0631eac1ceb7

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In contrast, recalling c2407c7178 those times made b0bddf757f Han Jeongun uncomfortable, a707ebfbde so he directly 649400f207 expressed his dislike.157c2c4427383855

“That was when we were kids. Two grown men c7de8af08d lying side by 0e7e508e22 side is gross.”a4389e370778d5d7

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“Then I’ll sleep on the sofa. Is that okay?”3620287cdd8a3d09

Hearing his plea, 2c306fad41 Han Jeongun glanced 18a78fa8a9 at the sofa.69d776b7975a7591

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For Goo Seonho to lie d2f7910d4c there, he’d have to fold 78e7732c14 himself in half.1e528e5d7e4fd3f7

Han Jeongun shook 57c81804e2 his head immediately, c791556fb0 but Goo Seonho 28512d2d5f persisted without pride.520b00584da84ec2

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“The floor’s fine too. I don’t even need 1619e1eb3b a blanket. Just let me stay here.”d12d9b789e0a701f

Han Jeongun let adec1cfdd1 out a heavy b6aa516376 sigh.aec3fe75c23ce9e3

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He resisted the e6a17965d0 urge to shout 26ed707fd6 for him to 5a73da11bf leave immediately, suppressing 3d289b42a9 his frustration.a0d5de96807addda

Fine, he’d endure ecfbf4b4cb for a few 77b0822f07 days. He’d be at work most 01e7314a1b of the time, so they 79a3428e97 wouldn’t have much time to bbed1f7716 see each other.3cff5b37f19b3ef7

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Goo Seonho wasn’t financially strained, 2166d046f2 so maybe he’d find a ebb524e5a4 place tomorrow.498b9dfb73c50d0b

“Don’t stay too long. Find a place and move a56f9c95d2 out as soon as possible.”a731a3b03ddabb9f

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When Han Jeongun dba2d4c135 gave his consent, 6b5b621769 Goo Seonho’s face c5cf224135 lit up with 4d5b38ef52 a radiant smile.6eaa551f1e325060

It was so bright that de3f445b41 Han Jeongun momentarily imagined flowers 7e943630e0 blooming around them.676d31713468e7aa

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He watched his b0b0c7ecea sweet expression in b4a797bf23 a daze. Seeing him so happy made f0ed7270d1 Han Jeongun regret being harsh 14927326d6 earlier.d399f2db3b09fdd4

He should have c66a6889c8 been more composed a7e00ea775 from the start.0d1662230a5600a9

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From the moment Goo Seonho 9a4c5aeccf rang the doorbell until now, a98c20c4f8 Han Jeongun had been restless.1a31c2a54419267f

He didn’t know what he 144a225b63 wanted, but he wanted to c79ff2779c appear mature like a hyung.b0d360cab711cb69

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He resolved not to act 10951597da foolishly during their short time 64b3da34b1 living together.7419371074831b08

Even though it was a 08567c9a87 temporary arrangement, Han Jeongun gave 9c008ce9f1 Goo Seonho a section of 7297c19449 his closet.d312982406b473cc

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While Goo Seonho unpacked his 1f0582b00f suitcase, Han Jeongun changed the 681a06faf3 sheets on the bed he 6f44a35c42 was giving up to the 11007fec44 uninvited guest.c284a53f88d32a86

How could he 22e1e52d18 expect someone who’d 6e040f52f0 only slept on 7b152f7ca8 beds in America 7b8216e8ee to sleep on 8c126d619e the floor?4546d055ffa26626

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In truth, the e9e507c0d3 sheets had been 86859ae247 changed just two 0854f63b72 days ago, but f3b0451846 it felt wrong 4621ee5cbb to let Goo 3efbba4eee Seonho lie on 7e0d8dbd35 the bed where 03bfc21b10 Han Jeongun had 8f8af8a75e been intimate with bbc8f26cfa his girlfriend just afe31caeed hours earlier.228a50396333135f

After finishing the bed, Han 4835c61dc9 Jeongun was about to leave 3e173c8d0d the room when Goo Seonho 43f8c99084 called him in a subtle ab61ea8f5c voice.1357a7e348296397

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“Darling.”50615c4ffc0c142f

“…!”6c1a4badf0316fb5

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Darling? Startled, Han Jeongun a870179f82 turned around and 2737f26660 questioned Goo Seonho, 6ddda54655 who was sitting 6dd21d1887 on the bed ae690f8f89 staring at him.528f719e233f476d

“What’s with the creepy talk? It’s giving me chills.”4948037b25627deb

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Goo Seonho burst into laughter c4e61af9e3 at his intense reaction and fb3d107898 apologized, saying something absurd.e00f280ea210bf6d

“When Mina nuna called you darling earlier, it sounded so affectionate that I wanted to try calling you that too.”4dfa0eb7f1329c58

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Was it another thoughtless remark? As an adult, Goo Seonho 7a9c4818ae had become so unpredictable that 6371552a82 it was hard to keep a1a1455bc0 up. If he wanted to call 1a0c01e028 someone affectionately, he should find 5a7948fe57 a partner. It was so random.edacba84cc66e046

Han Jeongun had 39722bb456 a lot to 0b78975e6d say, but he bd01b6287b didn’t want to 858b9e55c0 face his teasing f7f3a8c3db laughter anymore, so c7f614b382 he just warned ef94378ed5 him.1f4715db6002779b

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“It’s not funny, so don’t call me that again.”9ef6ea8fa8aa2717

As Han Jeongun closed the 0235fe4ef5 door, there was no response 2281dfd2e1 from behind. He reminded himself that 5cc6f8db93 Goo Seonho had just 16b14fde14 turned twenty. He was still naive and c365118b4b playful. Moreover, meeting the hyung he e2a7e7795f used to play with probably d09bfd093e made him act more childishly.79f2253ebe6e250a

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Standing in the 0f48c9c53d living room, Han 574c7dcbc2 Jeongun pondered for 24cea2c49c a moment. Though he wasn’t 5fe976416b as big as 37129aa530 Goo Seonho, sleeping 629b0ada9a on the sofa 9d5825835f was still uncomfortable. He had no choice 9d179f162f but to lay a 869b84a654 mat on the floor.cc6c6e68ac1bce68

The boiler was on, 41fd8f3216 so it wasn’t cold, 8d533bae57 but the hard floor 7ed0a126eb made his back ache, 21cfa57b12 and he tossed and 122020f3f0 turned for a long 90622efbbc time before falling asleep.31aa07fd71c1b5e7

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The discomfort wasn’t just about c31c1ab8bc the sleeping arrangement. Even with the bedroom 76008b4182 door closed, Han Jeongun 5def3043c5 was acutely aware of 1e0fab0a97 what lay beyond. When he first turned off 5f070d9a5b the lights, he couldn’t see eea010f0dd a thing, but as his 59b8c55de4 eyes adjusted to the darkness, bd8e78823e he turned to face the a00d408d14 bedroom.85ccd5c820300ea7

Here it goes again. The strange symptoms 68ac166f37 he thought he’d ef355f75b1 escaped ten years 028fad49fc ago were back. What is this? A kind of mental illness? Annoyed, Han Jeongun pulled da4775b585 the blanket over his a30933d6cc head.fba4cc0a16c430ad

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When he lived c8cb32695e as siblings with 81ce737a7f Goo Seonho for ef75cdbdc2 a month, his 4ef6c2c6fb pale face would 57d32b9657 float in Han 7872411f60 Jeongun’s mind whenever f3c1e66a34 they parted. It wouldn’t stop until he 9f9b9cf882 saw his face with his a17be7dbc4 own eyes. Is this what they f615f1d886 call withdrawal symptoms?667d8041b12add74

Goo Seonho’s face c1d66781ec had a strange ec39fdb138 allure that made c147e1c6ff you want to e3223068ca keep looking. People enjoyed having b01ffb8361 aesthetically pleasing objects d8a04e3b0c around them. That’s why they fb0d249955 continuously created ornamental 99ee43cfe0 items. Han Jeongun thought of Goo 76d7f95a64 Seonho as one of those.adc860cde16eb3b7

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“Sigh…”f217c148de04686d

Feeling suffocated, Han Jeongun sighed c948d16f2e unconsciously, and suddenly his lower 8b097847be abdomen tingled. It was a precursor c9612624cb to an erection, and e82829db56 he was bewildered.79286c7ce791039e

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He hadn’t been 52eb5961ed thinking about anything 1f15faa0b3 erotic; he was ef8d2c1413 just recalling Goo 1e91dac9d3 Seonho’s face. He wasn’t usually very sexual, 9bcb4e3dcd and he had been intimate 4baf5df5d5 with his girlfriend just hours 45b9f56218 ago, so why was this 1108700c64 happening?6cdea14839413faf