BNO Ch 2

“Huh…?”

“Why? Why what? Do you pity my dad, who’ll be left all alone after losing his wife and now his son?”

Hakbin’s words were sharp. His father, belatedly sensing the edge in his tone, closed his mouth. The uncle sighed, closing his eyes. The restaurant’s lighting was a cozy yellow, but its warmth didn’t reach anyone.

“Lee Hakbin. If you’re going to keep acting like this, go home. What do you think you’re doing? In front of adults.”

Hakbin glanced around the silent table, then moved the slice of ginseng from his plate to his uncle’s, replying nonchalantly, “I was just joking. What’s the big deal?”

“Sigh….”

The uncle rubbed his face tiredly, sighing repeatedly. Fatigue was etched on his face. Hakbin patted his uncle’s shoulder, laughing. “Everyone, relax. You’re all too caught up in something that happened over ten years ago. It’s so awkward….”

“…….”

“Oh, and next time, let’s go to a restaurant. This place is ridiculously expensive, and the menu only has stuff old people like. I’m still young.”

“…….”

“I’m going to get some ice cream. Anyone want some?”

Hakbin raised his hand slightly. When no one answered, he quietly got up and headed towards the ice cream corner alone. As he left, suppressed sighs escaped from around the table. The uncle spoke first.

“I’m sorry. I haven’t raised him well… I appreciate you putting up with him….”

“Oh, no, it’s alright. Hakbin’s at that age. Boys around his age tend to be a bit mischievous.”

Sora’s mom soothed the uncle, just as she had once calmed his wife’s anxieties. It seemed to work; a look of relief flickered across the uncle’s face.

“Thank you. Hakbin doesn’t mean it; he just speaks harshly sometimes, so if by any chance….”

“Oh, I know. Hakbin’s a good kid….”

“I apologize. We gathered to celebrate Sora’s birthday, but I’ve made things uncomfortable. It’s all my fault for not raising him right because of work.”

“…….”

Sora’s mom trailed off. Delving deeper would inevitably lead to the conversation of how the absence of one parent had warped Hakbin.

“If only Hakbin was half as good as our Sora….”

As the mood at the table sank, the uncle smoothly shifted the topic from Hakbin to Sora. “I heard from Hakbin that you’re first in your class. And you were class president, too?”

“Ah… yes. In the first semester….”

“As expected of our Sora. You’ve grown up so well. Do you have a university in mind?”

With Sora becoming a senior next year and soon an adult, questions about her future had become frequent lately. Her parents answered for her as she hesitated.

“Our Sora wants to go to nursing school or study emergency medical services.”

Just then, Hakbin returned with a cup of ice cream, picking up on the conversation and grasping the situation.

“…Emergency medical services?”

The uncle asked Sora, looking at her. Sora, unsure how to respond, turned her head. She couldn’t lie, not here. Sooner or later, Hakbin would find out anyway. Glancing at Hakbin, Sora finally confessed, “Yes, I want to be a 119 paramedic.”

The small spoon slipped from Hakbin’s hand and clattered loudly against the marble floor.

The sound echoed through the quiet restaurant, drawing everyone’s attention. The air grew heavy, the lights seeming to burn brighter. Tension filled the air.

Hakbin silently picked up the spoon, his gaze fixed somewhere distant. The uncle sighed slowly, his eyes returning to Sora. “Is there a reason?”

The reason was multifaceted. A sense of atonement and admiration for his aunt were intertwined. His aunt had been an incredible person, and Sora wanted to be like her.

“I just… want to save people.”

Her voice was calm, but her resolve was firm. Silence fell over the table again. Everyone could easily guess that Sora had been influenced by Hakbin’s aunt.

Then, Hakbin chuckled softly and said, “Sora, don’t bullshit me.”

His voice was light, but the pain hidden within it pierced everyone’s hearts. Despite the faint smile on his lips, his eyes, fixed on Sora, were contorted.

Sora held his gaze, her breath caught in her throat. Sweat beaded on her palms. She hadn’t spoken easily because she’d anticipated this reaction.

“You don’t really mean it. You’re just trying to ease your guilt, aren’t you?”

“…….”

“And talking about saving people… It’s sickening. Just stop with the hypocrisy.”

After a brief silence, the uncle sighed. He bowed his head towards Sora’s frozen family and stood up.

The scraping sound of the chair against the floor grated on Sora’s nerves. The uncle grabbed Hakbin’s arm and pulled him up.

“Get up. We’re going home.”

“Why? I’m not finished eating.”

“You’re not in any state to eat with us.”

“Isn’t it her who’s not in any state?” Hakbin asked, gesturing towards Sora with his eyes. The uncle rubbed his shadowed eyes roughly with his palm.

“Get up. Don’t make me raise my voice. Stop making things hard on your dad.”

The words sounded like a warning, but also like a plea. Hakbin exhaled deeply, mirroring his uncle’s sigh, and stood up obediently. He pulled something out of his bag and held it out to Sora. It was a small, palm-sized box tied with a red ribbon.

“Happy birthday. Open it when you’re alone.”

Hakbin had never missed giving Sora a birthday present. A photo of Sora and his aunt together, a fake cockroach, a box of condoms… Though the contents of the gifts were often mischievous, Sora had always accepted them willingly.

“Thank you.”

After hearing Sora’s thanks, Hakbin allowed himself to be led away by his uncle, as if he had finished everything he needed to do. Or, more accurately, he let himself be led away. Hakbin had surpassed his uncle in height and breadth of shoulders during middle school. Now, he was undoubtedly stronger than his uncle.

As the two finally disappeared from sight, Sora’s parents sank back against their chairs, exhaustion evident on their faces.

“Sigh, I wanted to treat you to something delicious, but that wasn’t easy.”

“It can’t be helped… You can’t win people’s hearts with effort alone. We can only try, it’s up to Hakbin whether he accepts it.”

“Hakbin… mentioned a restaurant, right? Next year, I should make a reservation at a steakhouse.”

“He said he wanted a motorcycle. Should we buy him one…?”

“Oh, don’t. What if he gets into an accident…”

Her parents murmured, making plans for next year. Sora also put down her spoon and leaned back. Her appetite had long vanished, replaced by exhaustion. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes.

‘Stop with the hypocrisy.’

Hakbin’s disgusted gaze replayed endlessly in her mind. She had expected disapproval, but not anger. However, Sora’s resolve towards her chosen path was unwavering. She would become a paramedic and save people. Even if it was hypocrisy, she didn’t care.

Parents were legally obligated to care for their children until they turned nineteen. Sora, who had tried to act as Hakbin’s “mother,” also only needed to stay by his side until he turned nineteen. Her entanglement with this guilt would also end next year. Her life after twenty would be her own. She wouldn’t need Hakbin’s approval for who she met or what she did.

As her mind, stirred up by Hakbin, began to settle, her phone buzzed.

[Send me a pic of you wearing it]

It was a message from Hakbin. Sora’s eyes naturally shifted to the box. Whatever it was, it seemed to be something to wear.

Sora fingered the soft ribbon, then decided against opening it. The reason Hakbin told her to open it alone was likely because the contents would horrify her parents.

Time passed, but no one picked up their spoons again. The lavishly prepared food grew cold. The three of them left the restaurant shortly after Hakbin and his uncle.

Even after returning home, her parents’ sighs continued. They dispersed, lost in their own thoughts. Watching their retreating backs, Sora also headed to her room.

In the end, Hakbin was the only one who properly celebrated her birthday this year.

Sitting at her desk, Sora took out the box he had given her. Carefully untying the ribbon, she slowly opened the box. Every time she opened a box from him, her stomach churned with anxiety. It wouldn’t be surprising if cockroaches crawled out or blades fell out.

Sora peered into the box with narrowed eyes. Fortunately, there didn’t seem to be any tricks. Inside, she saw black fabric. A handkerchief? Sora lifted it with her fingertips. The palm-sized cloth separated into two pieces, revealing its true form.

It was a string bikini.

Huh…

Hakbin always gave absurd gifts, but this time, Sora couldn’t help but let out a hollow laugh. She had aquaphobia, so she never wore swimsuits. The small piece of fabric was clearly not big enough to cover her chest.

Shaking her head, Sora pulled out the other black fabric from the box. As expected, it was the bikini bottom, but this too was an unusual design, resembling a thong.

He gives her this and asks for a picture of her wearing it? He definitely chose this gift to tease her, just like all the others. This one, too, would have to be buried deep in her closet.

As she crumpled the small pieces of fabric to put them back in the box, something at the bottom glimmered.

Sora carefully picked it up. A teardrop-shaped pendant dangled from a cool silver chain. It was a necklace.

Sora’s wide, surprised eyes soon narrowed. Had he bought this for someone else and accidentally put it in her box? Or maybe it was just a decoration that had fallen off the bikini and looked like a necklace. This first normal gift she’d received from him only confused her.

Sora slowly walked to the mirror. Carefully placing the silver necklace around her neck, she gazed at her reflection. The silver chain shimmered in the light, and the teardrop pendant swayed gently against her chest.

The cool touch against her skin stirred something within her. Anxiety, excitement, and a touch of bewilderment mixed together, making her stomach flutter.

It’s pretty.

Sora stood there for a moment, lost in thought. Then, she suddenly realized a smile was spreading across her face in the mirror.

The smile confused her even more. She didn’t know why she was smiling, what was making her feel good. She felt strange and awkward with herself.

Is this really mine? Did Hakbin choose this for me?

Even wearing it, she still couldn’t believe it was hers. Then, Hakbin’s text message asking for a picture flashed through her mind. If she sent him a picture, he would give her some kind of answer. Sora picked up her phone and took a picture of her neck adorned with the necklace, sending it to Hakbin.

What kind of reply would she get? Would he tease her, telling her to send a picture in the bikini instead?

Or would he say the necklace was put in the wrong box?

The wait wasn’t long.

[With your face]

An unexpected reply arrived. Still unsure, Sora picked up her phone again. Her face on the screen felt unfamiliar. She rarely took pictures, except for official purposes.

She brushed her long hair back slightly and adjusted the pendant with her fingers so it was clearly visible. In the mirror, the silver chain shimmered, emitting a quiet light. Sora met her own eyes on the screen. Feeling her stiff expression was too rigid and awkward, she tried a small smile.

Click, the quiet sound echoed in the room. Her image was captured on the phone screen. The necklace and her face. A picture that met his requirements. Sora sent the photo to Hakbin, fanning herself with her hand. She felt a bit embarrassed, smiling and taking pictures of herself alone in her room. A quick reply came back.

[It suits you]

The short comment settled Sora’s doubts. This necklace was Hakbin’s birthday gift for her, and it belonged to her.

[Thanks]

Unconsciously, Sora fingered the teardrop pendant. The strange feeling the necklace evoked still lingered within her, a mixture of ticklishness and a fluttering sensation.

A faint smile graced her face in the mirror. Sora carefully touched her lips.

When was the last time she smiled like this on her birthday?

‘Sora, happy birthday!’

‘Yeah! Thanks.’

Probably not since she was seven years old. Birthdays, always spent with an uneasy heart, felt a little different this time.

🤍

“Sora, what’s with the necklace?”

Sora’s friends were bursting with curiosity, seeing her wearing a necklace, something she never did.

“Oh, it’s pretty. Where did you get it?”

“Ah, it’s a birthday present.”

Sora glanced at Hakbin as she answered. He was at his usual spot by the window, surrounded by his friends, chatting. Even though they were in the same classroom, Sora stayed at the very front, while he was in the back corner. Unless Hakbin specifically called her over and forced her to sit with him, this distance was always maintained.

Sora felt relieved seeing Hakbin looking cheerful. She had been worried because he seemed angry about her wanting to become a paramedic, but he hadn’t said anything about it, neither when she texted him about the necklace yesterday nor on the way to school. He actually seemed to be in a better mood than usual, which calmed Sora.

“It looks expensive. Did your parents buy it for you?”

“Huh? No.”

“Then, who? Senior Wooseok?”

Wooseok’s name popped out of her friend’s mouth again. She firmly believed there was something going on between Sora and Wooseok. Sora herself barely remembered having a proper conversation with him.

“No way. Why would he give me a necklace?”

“Because he likes you. Did you meet yesterday?”

She asked teasingly. Sora just laughed and replied, “I don’t even have his number.”

“Then who gave it to you?”

Sora looked at Hakbin again. He was focused on the friend talking in front of him, only occasionally lifting the corners of his lips. His relaxed eyes and tilted head made him look at ease. Sora habitually checked his expression, but quickly looked away. There was no need to hide it.

“Hakbin…”

“Lee Hakbin bought that for you?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh….”

Puzzled glances were exchanged between her friends. Sensing something odd in the atmosphere, Sora asked, “Why?”

“No, it’s just… spending that much money on a distant relative’s birthday?”

“Huh?”

“Even couples usually only give expensive gifts on anniversaries. You two must be really close.”

Sora blinked at their reactions. Having never bought jewelry with her own money, she couldn’t gauge the necklace’s value. Was it really that expensive…?

“Or does Lee Hakbin have a lot of money?”

“He probably does. I heard models get paid quite a bit for commercials.”

“Ah, that commercial.”

Sora didn’t understand what her friends were talking about. It felt strange that she didn’t know anything about Hakbin’s affairs.

“What are you talking about?”

“What do you mean ‘what are we talking about’?”

“I… you mentioned a commercial. I’m lost.”

Her friends looked at her with even more surprise.

“You don’t know Lee Hakbin does modeling?”

“…Modeling?”

“Yeah, he got scouted and films commercials. He was chosen as the model for that new ionic drink, and the whole school went crazy….”

Sora’s brow furrowed at her friend’s words. They sounded so unreal she wondered if she was dreaming. Seeing her disbelief, one of her friends held out her phone to Sora.

The video on the screen showed Hakbin naturally drinking the ionic drink after a run. It was then that Sora realized it was all real, and her shoulders slumped.

“Wow. She really didn’t know.”

“How could you not know? You go to school together every day.”

“Everyone in school knows, right? The day it aired, everyone was whispering about a celebrity being at our school. We thought you knew and were just keeping quiet about it.”

Sora was as dumbfounded as her friends. It was bizarre that she, the closest person to him, knew less about him than other students.

“I didn’t know… because Hakbin didn’t tell me.”

Just yesterday, when she asked him what he wanted to do after graduation, he had said he hadn’t thought about it. Even if she had seen his commercial by chance, she wouldn’t have recognized him. The idea of Hakbin being a model was difficult to grasp.

“Why didn’t he tell you? Did he think you’d just know?”

“Maybe he thought it was just a temporary part-time job and didn’t mention it? Guys like him usually think of those things as just a quick way to make some money.”

“True, he doesn’t seem like the type to talk about those things in detail.”

Sora nodded. Neither Hakbin nor his uncle were the type to talk about their work. That’s why, despite finding out about this rather big news so late, she didn’t feel upset. She just quietly watched the videos her friends showed her.

“The world really doesn’t leave handsome guys alone. They pick them up and make them celebrities.”

“He has a face that would make him popular. That bad-boy look is trendy these days.”

“The camera really adds weight, huh? It doesn’t capture him properly. His features are sharper in real life, but he looks softer on screen.”

“That’s why he looks a bit nicer, right?”

Amidst her friends’ various comments, Sora quietly nodded. Due to his sharp and rough personality, Hakbin wasn’t your typical popular guy, but regardless, the assessment of his looks was always consistent. No matter how much people disliked him, his striking, dazzling appearance was undeniable.

The comments on the video all praised the model’s visuals. Hakbin in the video was wearing a refreshing smile, one that seemed familiar to Sora, like something from their childhood. A slight flutter, similar to yesterday’s, stirred in her chest.

“If he gets famous with this, he’ll probably film other commercials, right?”

“Right. I heard people talking about him after seeing this. Someone will probably pick him up soon. That famous actor, Kim Bo-hyeok, started out as a model too.”

“Ah, Kim Bo-hyeok. He started as a handsome regular guy and became an actor. Man, I’m so jealous. Celebrities make a ton of money. If I could make a living with my face, I wouldn’t study.”

“Hey, Sora, with a face like yours, you’re studying. Stop complaining.”

As the commercial ended, the four heads glued to the screen lifted simultaneously.

“What a superior family, seriously. Good skin, tall, great physique.”

Knowing they were second cousins, they looked Sora up and down, adding, “Honestly, Sora, wouldn’t you get scouted on the street too?”

“She has her dream set, so she wouldn’t do it. Would Sora ever become a celebrity?”

“Right, Sora is ‘positive’ because her personality and future aspirations are perfect.”

The three of them showered Sora with compliments, but she barely heard them. Her mind was filled with the short commercial playing on repeat, fixated on the possibility that he might become a star known to the whole world.

If he became a celebrity and appeared on TV, she could see how he was doing anytime, anywhere. Even if they went their separate ways, it was a profession that perfectly fulfilled Sora’s desire to know, albeit one-sidedly, that he was doing well.

Imagining him as a celebrity and herself as a paramedic, Sora felt a thrill in her chest. She felt like her aunt in heaven would be proud of them both, acknowledging how well they’d grown.

Sora genuinely wished him well.

🤍

“Sora!”

Someone called out to Sora as she was leaving school. Turning her head, she met a familiar face at the school gate. It was Wooseok.

“Oh…”

Sora hesitated for a moment. Besides attending the same cram school, she had no particular connection with him. Moreover, he was a year older, and since different grades used different floors, they rarely saw each other even though they attended the same school.

He had given her snacks a few times, but they weren’t close, so Sora didn’t even know whether to call him “senior” or “oppa.”

While she hesitated, Wooseok approached her.

“Why weren’t you at cram school yesterday?”

“Ah… I had plans. But why…?”

“I said I’d bring you the handouts you missed. And I happened to have something else to give you.”

As if planned, her friends stepped back and started whispering. They were undoubtedly getting ready to tease her about the two of them.

Wooseok opened his bag and handed her a sparkling clear file. Sora immediately checked the contents. It wasn’t anything urgent. If it were, one of her friends from cram school would have brought it to her.

It was clear that this wasn’t Wooseok’s real intention. As expected, he placed a small box in her hand.

“I heard it was your birthday yesterday? It’s nothing much, but I wanted to give you a present.”

“What is it?”

“Ah, don’t feel pressured. It’s not that expensive….”

Expensive or not, they weren’t close enough to exchange gifts. Just as Sora was about to return the gift without hesitation, she felt an unpleasant heat behind her, and someone’s arm wrapped around her shoulders.

“Hey.”

It was Hakbin. He looked back and forth between Wooseok and the box, then asked Sora, “What’s this?”

His short question was like a riddle. As Sora hesitated, unsure whether to explain the gift or Wooseok, Hakbin gave her another cold look and asked, “Are you dating him?”

Behind him, Hakbin’s friends on their motorcycles were lined up, laughing. When Sora, flustered, didn’t answer, Hakbin snatched the box.

He opened it, revealing a neatly placed necklace. Unlike Hakbin’s gift, which she hadn’t recognized as a necklace at first, this one was immediately identifiable. A pearl shimmered at the end of a gold chain. Without even looking at Wooseok, Hakbin said with a cynical smile, “Casting pearls before swine?”

“…Give it back.”

“Why? So you can accept it?”

“Hakbin.”

“It’s cheap. Don’t take it.”

Hakbin closed the box and placed it in Wooseok’s hands, who was standing there dumbfounded. It was as if he was rejecting the gift on Sora’s behalf. Wooseok finally frowned at his rudeness.

“Hey, who are you? Why are you butting in…?”

But Hakbin still seemed to have no interest in Wooseok, his eyes fixed on Sora. She tensed at the subtle warmth she felt in his gaze. Hakbin lightly touched the necklace around Sora’s neck, adding, “Have some standards, Go Sora.”

He tapped her collarbone where the teardrop pendant rested. Sora momentarily held her breath at the warm touch of his fingertips. Oblivious to her reaction, Hakbin turned back to his friends.

He got on a motorcycle, whose owner was unclear, and rode away. His friends followed one by one. The group of motorcycles weaved through the traffic and soon disappeared.

“Sora, who was that? Do you have a boyfriend? I heard you didn’t…”

Wooseok asked, but Sora’s attention was entirely on Hakbin. The road where he had disappeared held her gaze like a shadow he had left behind.

Since when did he start riding motorcycles? It’s dangerous. Does his uncle know? Sora wondered whether she should tell him.

From the modeling to the motorcycle, there were so many things she didn’t know about him. She thought she’d always been by his side, but she knew almost nothing about him. Probably less than his friends.

What was the problem? Despite being childhood friends for eleven years, perhaps it was because Hakbin kept an emotional distance from her. They rarely had a chance to open up to each other….

Sora finally looked back at Wooseok. Unlike Hakbin, he was neatly dressed in his school uniform and spoke kindly. Catching her gaze, Wooseok blushed and tried to offer the necklace again, but Sora held out her hand to stop him.

She wasn’t oblivious. There was a reason why someone she barely knew would spend time and money on her, and it was usually romantic interest.

“I’m sorry. I’m not interested in dating.”

Sora spoke softly, trying not to hurt him. His eyes wavered for a moment, then he asked, “Ah… because of your studies?”

“Yes.”

“Then… you and that guy from earlier aren’t anything either? He acted like… your boyfriend.”

He gestured with his chin towards the direction Hakbin had disappeared. Sora glanced at her friends and replied, “He’s just… my second cousin.”

“Ah, family…”

Wooseok’s expression brightened slightly. He placed the box in Sora’s arms. As she instinctively accepted it, Wooseok backed away and quickly said, “I didn’t give it to you to ask you out. I really just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. And… let’s say hi when we see each other at school. Well then, I’ll get going! See you at cram school!”

Waving goodbye, he disappeared into the crowd. Sora sighed deeply, opening the box in her hand.

Hakbin had told her not to accept it, but she had anyway.

🤍

Saturday morning arrived. Weekends at Sora’s house were no different from weekdays.

Her self-employed parents worked seven days a week, getting up at 6 a.m. to prepare for work. Sora, who would usually sleep in, got up early today to eat with them. Her mother gave her a puzzled look.

“Are you going somewhere?”

She seemed to think that her daughter wouldn’t get up early unless she had plans. Sora waited until the last minute to tell them about her overnight trip.

“Yeah, I think I’ll be staying out tonight.”

“Why? Where are you going?”

She was going to the beach with Hakbin’s friends, but she couldn’t bring herself to honestly say she was spending the night with a group of boys. It wasn’t like she was doing anything wrong, but her mouth went dry. If she told the truth, they would never let her go.

“Just going to the beach with some friends from cram school. I needed a break from studying.”

Sora was a bright and cheerful daughter, but she also had a quiet side. Being mature meant not showing how much she struggled.

“Sigh… Alright. You need that kind of time too… It’s just girls, right?”

“…Yeah.”

“Okay. Be careful of men. I heard it’s dangerous for girls to go to the beach alone.”

“Who said that?”

“The news. Seriously, how can I raise a daughter without worrying?”

Apparently, there had been another news story about men doing “terrible things” to women. Sora nodded vaguely at her mother’s rambling worries, shoveling food into her mouth.

Packing a change of clothes and underwear, Sora left the house. As soon as she reached the first floor of her apartment building, a motorcycle stopped in front of her. It seemed she hadn’t been mistaken yesterday. Hakbin, taking off his helmet, ruffled his hair and complained, “Damn, it’s hot.”

“Hakbin, the motorcycle…”

“Yeah, I bought it with my own money since my uncle wouldn’t buy it for me.”

Sora frowned. Hakbin pulled out a helmet from somewhere and put it on her head, chuckling. “You look like you have a lot to say.”

“Yeah, I do. Motorcycles are dangerous. You said you could die instantly in an accident. Lose a limb or two….”

“Are you worried I’ll die?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

He looked down at her with narrowed eyes. It was the same conversational pattern as when he cornered his father a few days ago. But Sora met his gaze directly and answered, “Why are you asking that? Of course, I’m worried. You’re my friend….”

Hakbin let out a sigh-like laugh and tapped Sora’s helmet. The vibration resonated through her head.

“Get on.”

He gestured to the seat behind him. When Sora hesitated, Hakbin tapped her helmet again.

“I won’t kill you. Get on.”

Sora reluctantly climbed onto the motorcycle, unable to hide her anxiety.

“We’re really going on this?”

“What else did you think we’d take?”

“The subway.”

“Then think of it as the subway.”

“How can I think of it as the subway when it’s not?”

“You can. Why does someone so good at studying have such a poor imagination?”

“I’ve always been like this.”

“Then borrow mine.”

Their conversation went in circles, reaching no common ground. If Hakbin decided to do something, it was happening. Sighing, Sora naturally wrapped her arms around his waist.

He had grown so much that it was almost difficult to hold onto him. Nevertheless, on this precarious motorcycle, his back was the only thing she could rely on. Sora pressed herself close against him, tightening her grip.

“Are you scared?”

His voice vibrated through his body. Sora forced a nod.

“Yeah, a little…”

Sensing her trembling, Hakbin gave a fleeting smile and lifted his helmet slightly. He murmured something, but it was lost in the roar of the engine.

Before Sora could ask him to repeat himself, the motorcycle started moving. She screamed silently. The sharp wind chilled her fingertips, but the warmth of his back anchored her.

How long had she been clinging to Hakbin’s back? They had arrived at a pension near the beach. As he’d said, his friends were gathered, along with some girls from another school.

The evening sun cast its last rays, painting the ocean gold. After admiring the sea, the group had an early dinner of barbecue and then immediately started drinking inside the pension.

Sora wasn’t particularly shy, but seeing the table crowded with bottles and the casual physical contact between the boys and girls made her shrink back. She felt like she didn’t belong. However, his friends, unconcerned, showered her with attention.

“You’re the same age as us, right? Eighteen?”

“Ah, yeah.”

“Hakbin’s girlfriend?”

“No. Just friends.”

“Just friends?”

The girls, whom she’d just met, looked her up and down. Compared to their vibrant colors, Sora looked like a large white lump.

From her baggy t-shirt to her awkwardly long shorts, she had no sense of style. In that sense, she didn’t match Hakbin, but their suspicious gazes didn’t disappear easily. Then, the most talkative of Hakbin’s friends spoke up.

“They’re childhood friends. Hard to believe… Well, everyone starts as friends, right?”

He asked Hakbin, not Sora. Hakbin, sitting next to her with his legs crossed, simply smiled. His smile spread laughter around them.

Just as Sora felt increasingly alienated, a girl with heavy makeup filled her glass, saying, “Hey, you guys, that’s sexual harassment. Here, Sora, drink.”

She poured soju into a tall glass and topped it off with beer. Sora wanted to refuse, but the atmosphere didn’t allow her to stay completely sober. Eleven pairs of eyes were on her. As Hakbin’s friend, she had to play along to some extent.

“Thanks.”

Sora gave a polite smile and carefully brought the glass to her lips. She instinctively frowned at the bitter taste of the soju and beer mixture, a taste she was experiencing for the first time. The carbonation and alcohol seemed to burn her sensitive palate.

Hakbin, who had been quietly observing her reaction, smirked. He suddenly snatched the glass from her hand and filled another with cider.

“Drink this.”

Boos erupted from around them.

“He’s even babying her here.”

“Let her drink if she wants to.”

Unlike Sora, who was nervous about the others’ reactions, Hakbin calmly handed her the glass of cider and downed the soju mixture himself. The pale yellow alcohol gurgled down his throat as if it wasn’t bitter at all.

Watching him, Sora felt the bitterness return to her own tongue. She patted his arm, scolding him, “Are you crazy? You can’t drink like that…”

Hakbin easily emptied the full glass. Sora, fidgeting beside him, grabbed a snack from the table and held it out to him. It was meant to get rid of the bitter taste, like a candy after taking bitter medicine.

“Eat this, quick.”

Hakbin looked at her with a strange expression, then obediently took the snack. Unlike Hakbin, who looked unfazed, Sora’s face was still scrunched up from the shock of her first alcoholic drink. She quickly stuffed two more snacks into his mouth and asked, “Ugh… bitter, right? Eat more.”

Hakbin chewed the snacks, staring at Sora’s grimacing face. An awkward silence fell over the group. Sora, belatedly realizing everyone was staring at them, turned her head, and people started moving again.

Then, the girl across from them shook her head at Hakbin.

“Wow, Lee Hakbin brought his mom.”

Mom. Taking care of him must have looked like that to others. At that moment, Hakbin suddenly leaned against Sora’s shoulder.

“That’s right. My mom.”

“…….”

“I don’t have a mom, so she’s filling in.”

When Hakbin had lost his mother and was speechless with grief, Sora had silently stayed by his side and promised to be anything for him – his mother, his sister, his friend.

Since then, an invisible string had connected them. Sora wore the collar, and Hakbin held the leash. The string pulled tighter when Hakbin, lost in grief, needed her.

“She’s my guardian for life. Right?”

Hakbin asked Sora, with a strange smile. The word “life” caught her off guard. The line she had drawn was only until he became an adult…

When Sora hesitated, the smile disappeared from Hakbin’s face. A chilling air, like the wind before a storm, tightened around Sora’s neck. Sensing danger, she carefully nodded, and his intense gaze finally released her.

As Hakbin’s smile returned, the tension at the table eased. The atmosphere in the room was dictated by his mood. The world revolved around Hakbin.

As more drinks were poured, the pension grew louder. Intoxicated, people burst into laughter and clapped at the smallest things. Only Sora, who wasn’t drinking, couldn’t keep up with the escalating mood.

As the bottles emptied, people started to slump. At some point, Hakbin started drinking with his head resting on Sora’s shoulder.

Half of them were sprawled on the sofa, and the rest were sitting awkwardly. The air in the room had become sticky and heavy. The boys and girls were paired up, leaning against or hugging each other.

Everyone seemed comfortable, except for Sora, sitting upright, unable to find a place to rest her eyes.

“Spin the bottle?”

The mouth of the empty soju bottle, spinning like a top, stopped, pointing at Hakbin. It was a kind of truth game. You ask a question to the person the bottle points to, and if they can’t answer, they drink. Hakbin winked at the girl who spun the bottle. It was a sign to ask anything.

“Um… your ideal type?”

She asked, flipping her long hair. The boys booed in unison.

“Hey, why don’t you ask how many times a week he jerks off?”

“Yeah, or how many times he’s done it, not his ideal type? Like you’d even have a chance…”

“Hey, I spun the bottle, so I can ask whatever I want.”

“Hey, Kwon Siyeong wants to be Lee Hakbin’s ideal type.”

“Hey! I never said that.”

The girl punched the boy’s shoulder, and he feigned pain. A small question had once again filled the room with laughter. Sora, unable to adapt to the lowbrow humor, sipped her cider, using the cold liquid to soothe her embarrassment as she glanced at Hakbin.

He didn’t seem uncomfortable at all in this setting. As if all this was a natural part of his everyday life, he blended in seamlessly.

He must have hung out like this before, drinking and having fun. Who did he lean on then? Did he toy with a girl’s hand like the boy across from her?

Sora was acutely aware of how many sides of Hakbin she didn’t know. Every sound and smell in this place seemed to widen the distance between them.

Hakbin placed his glass on the table. The small action drew everyone’s attention. He exhaled slowly, his breath heavy with alcohol, and began twirling a strand of Sora’s long hair around his finger.

“A sexy woman.”

His answer brought the room to life again.

“Hey, Lee Hakbin’s taking the easy way out.”

“Why? That’s the most honest answer. A hot woman is the best. What else is there but beating around the bush?”

At the boys’ snickers, the girls suddenly smoothed their hair and blushed. Each of their gestures seemed designed to catch Hakbin’s attention. Sora realized that his ideal type was one of these girls.

Of course. It’s only natural, he’s a guy.

But what was this feeling? Since hearing his answer, her heart had been pounding uncomfortably. An inexplicable unpleasantness.

It definitely wasn’t jealousy. It was closer to disappointment and betrayal. The Hakbin she didn’t know felt strange and unsettling.

She suddenly remembered a parenting blog post by a mother who said that even if you raise your son yourself, he’ll suddenly become distant one day. It felt like the seven-year-old boy she knew had suddenly become a man.

The sense of unease lingered. Sora’s discomfort stemmed from the unfamiliarity of her childhood friend, who had somehow become a grown man. She hadn’t changed at all, but he had grown up without her.

Lost in thought, Sora was startled when the spinning soju bottle stopped, pointing at her. Hakbin, who had been slumped over, seemingly disinterested in everything, lifted his head and looked at her.

His eyes, always difficult to read, were now even more clouded by alcohol. She suddenly felt apprehensive about the question he would ask. He paused, as if considering, then asked with a mischievous grin, “If you had to sleep with one of the guys here, who would it be?”

A heavy silence fell. Sora knew “sleep with” meant sex. Her eyes wavered at the unexpected question. His long, sharp, fox-like eyes curved, tracing her every reaction. He seemed to enjoy her discomfort.

As if waiting for this kind of question, Hakbin’s question was met with a flurry of laughter and catcalls. Amidst the noise, Sora’s gaze remained fixed on Hakbin. Honestly, the answer was already decided. Sora, not close to anyone else here, had no one but Hakbin to rely on.

But somehow, she couldn’t bring herself to say it. Sleeping with Hakbin. It felt ethically wrong, unsettling. And she was angry at him for making her feel this way. He had asked the question knowing her answer.

Staring at him, Sora sighed softly and turned her head.

“I’ll take the penalty drink.”

As Sora reached for the mixed drink in the center of the table, Hakbin snatched the glass. He drank it without a word. His large Adam’s apple bobbed a few times, and the glass was empty. He set the empty glass down and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. She didn’t know how many drinks he’d had already.

“Damn it. Why do you always ruin the fun?”

“Lee Hakbin must have thought his name would come up.”

“Seriously…”

Sighs and jeers came from around them. Hakbin, without responding, laid his head on Sora’s lap. He waved his hand dismissively.

“It’s noisy. I’m not drinking anymore.”

Hakbin, who had been drinking mostly soju mixed with a little beer, surrendered. As if sensing the drinking game was over, people started getting up. Hakbin’s friends naturally reached for their cigarettes.

“Hey, we’re going for a smoke.”

Hakbin, eyes closed, just flicked his hand, giving them permission.

“What? Hakbin doesn’t smoke?”

“No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t even hang out with us when we smoke.”

“He must really hate the smell of cigarettes. Like a baby.”

“Fuck, are you blinded by love or something?”

Hakbin spent most of his time with his friends, but he didn’t smoke. Not for any other reason than his fear of fire, even if it was just a lighter and a cigarette.

“I’m going too. I need to get some hangover cure from the convenience store.”

“Hey, let’s all go. We can buy fireworks and go to the beach. How about it?”

“Oh, good idea. Let’s go.”

People started getting up, but Hakbin just nuzzled his face against Sora’s thigh. His cheek against her bare skin was hot, evidence of his intoxication. Sora spoke for him.

“Go ahead. Hakbin seems really drunk.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll stay here.”

The girl who seemed to have been waiting for Hakbin pouted, but she followed the others out of the pension. Once everyone was gone, silence fell over the pension. Sora finally relaxed her shoulders and sighed.

All she had done today was walk on the beach for a bit and drink cider, but she felt drained. She wasn’t comfortable in this setting.

“Hey, pig.”

Sora looked down at his voice. His face was partially obscured by her ample chest, only one eye visible. He pointed out that very fact.

“You’re so fat. I can’t see your face.”

“…….”

Sora tried to sink further into the sofa, moving her chest back. Despite her efforts, he, eyes still closed, rubbed his cheek against her thigh. Her fleshy thigh cushioned him softly.

“Pig.”

It seemed that no matter what she did, she was just a pig to him. He murmured in a sleepy voice, “When did you get so big…?”

Sora let out a hollow laugh.

You’re the one who got so big.

His long legs stretched beyond the sofa, and his body more than filled the cushion. Despite his awkward position, he didn’t bother getting up, just shifting on her thigh before lying flat.

His cheeks were redder now, and his breath was hot, signs of his intoxication. Sora carefully studied his peaceful, sleeping face. His high nose bridge, his defined jawline, his prominent Adam’s apple—everything felt unfamiliar.

She had been so focused on reading his emotions in his eyes that she had missed all the other details.

“Are you mad at me?”

He asked, eyes still closed. Just as Sora didn’t miss his subtle changes in expression, he was good at reading her mood. He seemed bothered that she had turned her head earlier. Sora didn’t deny it.

“Yeah.”

At her quick reply, Hakbin chuckled.

“Why?”

“You asked a question that was too much. You knew I’d be uncomfortable…”

Sora poked his dimple as a small act of revenge. He chuckled, grabbing her finger.

“What’s so uncomfortable? You could have just chosen me and moved on. I was just going along with the atmosphere. Are you really mad?”

“That atmosphere only works for you guys. You should have given me an easier question.”

“How could it be any easier?”

She couldn’t understand. There was no question more embarrassing for her. Had she taken his playful question too seriously?

“Or were you really thinking about it? Which guy you’d sleep with?”

“…….”

At Sora’s silence, Hakbin slowly opened his eyes. His gaze felt heated, and Sora’s face flushed. She looked away, self-conscious. Hakbin, without hesitation, grabbed her chin and pulled it down.

“Look at me.”

“…….”

The moment their eyes met, his gaze swirled, reaching deep into her eyes.

“So, who were you thinking about?”

“I wasn’t thinking about anyone.”

“Then that’s a penalty drink.”

“That’s why I was going to drink.”

“I said you had to choose someone.”

He persisted relentlessly. Sensing his teasing wasn’t over, Sora bit her lip.

Hakbin stared at her flushed face, the color of a sunset, his fox-like eyes curving.

“Tell me now. No one’s here.”

“You’re here.”

“I’m okay with it.”

“I’m not.”

“Are you going to keep talking back?”

He scolded her like a disobedient puppy. Sora breathed out a sigh of frustration in his face, but the drunk Hakbin was more persistent than usual.

“Hurry up.”

“There’s really no one. I’ve never even thought about sleeping with anyone… I don’t even know much about men’s bodies…”

She didn’t know why she was saying these things in front of Hakbin. Blood rushed to her head, making it throb, and her facial muscles ached. She couldn’t even tell what expression she was making.

Hakbin, still holding her gaze, slowly caressed her hot cheek. His hand trailed down to her lips, pressing gently.

“Then, instead of sex, a kiss.”

“…Huh?”

“Who do you want to kiss?”

Kiss. Sora’s eyes were drawn to his lips. The stakes were lower, but it was just as difficult to answer. She couldn’t name another man, but she definitely couldn’t name Hakbin.

How could she, the one who had been there for his family, say she wanted to kiss him? That couldn’t happen. It wasn’t right.

“Does it have to be someone here?”

She said it because she didn’t want to name any of his friends either. Hakbin looked at her with a strange expression, then spoke after a pause, “…What if it isn’t?”

Judging by his persistence, it wouldn’t end unless she answered. Sora struggled to think of a familiar face.

“Well… Senior Wooseok.”

The only person she could name wasn’t here. She had given him the answer he wanted, so she thought she could finally relax. But contrary to her expectations, she heard a low curse.

“Fuck…”

Hakbin frowned. He rubbed his eyebrows as if he had a headache, then kicked his long legs in the air. Sora shrank back at the sudden shift in atmosphere.

“That pearl necklace guy who came to see you before?”

Hakbin asked, eyes closed. He seemed to remember Wooseok.

“…Yeah.”

“I told you not to see him.”

“I’m not seeing him.”

“But.”

“You’re the one who insisted I choose someone! Everyone here curses and is a delinquent. He’s kinder and less scary than them…”

Hakbin suddenly cursed again. Startled, Sora closed her mouth. Hakbin continued to shake his leg, frowning. He looked like he was about to explode.

“You, seriously, you’re so good at pissing me off.”

“What did I do?”

“Because of you, I feel so shitty I want to puke.”

Hakbin blamed Sora for all his misfortunes. Sora felt indebted to him, but she also spoke her mind.

“That’s because you drank too much.”

“Who made me drink too much?”

“If you’re talking about the last penalty, I was going to drink it, but you just…”

“That’s because you couldn’t answer a simple question.”

“What? That’s because you asked such a weird question…”

“So you should have just answered it!”

“I just did! Wooseok…!”

“Fuck! Forget it. Just shut up. Don’t make me any angrier…”

He covered his eyes with the back of his hand, breathing heavily. He seemed to have a terrible headache. He looked like her father when he drank too much.

“Your head hurts because you drank too much. It’ll hurt more if you stay awake. Just go to sleep.”

“What do you know?”

“I know a lot.”

“You know nothing.”

“…….”

It sounded like he wasn’t talking about alcohol, but about her. Sora couldn’t easily refute his words, especially after discovering so many unknown sides of him these past few days.

Sora placed her hand next to his on his forehead. The difference in size was significant.

It seemed the same, yet felt different every year. Not only their bodies but also their relationship was changing. He seemed to notice the change too, adding, “You’ve been getting on my nerves lately.”

“What did I do?”

“See? Talking back again.”

Sora remembered a time when she wouldn’t dare talk back to him. A time when just being alive felt like a sin, and she even breathed carefully around him. He seemed to want that Sora back.

“I eased up on you because you said you were studying, and then you say you want to be a paramedic? And you’re flirting with other guys? You’re messing around, Sora.”

He disliked her focusing on anything other than him. He even wanted her to spend more time with him than her own parents. He wanted to take her everywhere he went, like an attendant.

Sora had never complained about it. She considered taking care of him as atonement. She thought those days had accumulated, washing away some of her guilt. Enough that she could have this kind of conversation with him now.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you beforehand, but I don’t understand why you don’t like me becoming a paramedic.”

As Sora clearly expressed her thoughts, his lips twisted into a smirk.

“Why don’t you know? That’s annoying too.”

“If you think I’m being hypocritical, I really…”

“Becoming a paramedic to save people?”

“Yes.”

At her unhesitating answer, Hakbin’s smile widened.

“That’s fucking hilarious.”

“That” referred to Sora. The atmosphere between them darkened. The tense air choked Sora, but she didn’t back down. This was something they needed to address.

“No matter what you think, I’m going to nursing school…”

“Fuck, hey. My mom saved you. Our mom.”

“…….”

“Then the person you should be saving isn’t some stranger, but me, who grew up without a mom, and my dad, who raised me alone.”

“…….”

“Stop pretending to be all kind and righteous. It’s sickening.”

His words brought the shackles back, tightening around her neck.

She had vaguely sensed the reason for his discontent. That’s why she wanted to tell him later. When he became an adult, when he got busy, when her presence faded, and when their relationship became nothing more than childhood friends…

The thought of her plan going awry suffocated her. She felt like she was trapped underwater, unable to reach the surface no matter how hard she struggled. She just wanted to escape this uncomfortable situation.

“…Get up for a second. I’ll get a blanket from upstairs.”

“Why?”

“So you can sleep. I’ll get you a…”

“Forget the blanket. Just be a quiet pillow.”

He turned his back to her and sighed. His sigh rippled through her like a small wave.

“I’m so pissed I want to swim.”

He said out of the blue. He often acted childish when he was angry. Sora expertly dealt with it.

“Do it tomorrow after you wake up. You said the pool is deep. It’s dangerous to go in when you’re drunk.”

“Tomorrow… you’ll do it too, right?”

“I…”

Did he forget she had aquaphobia? As if not expecting an answer, Hakbin immediately cut her off.

“What about the bikini I bought you? I gave it to you to wear here. I haven’t seen you wear it yet…”

He turned back to her. He sounded like her father when he was drunk, clinging to her mother and complaining. Sora said confidently, “…You’re drunk.”

“I’m not.”

He lied brazenly with flushed cheeks, then closed his eyes comfortably. His breathing became regular. He seemed to be falling asleep. She couldn’t stay like this forever.

“Just a minute… I’ll be right back.”

Sora finally lifted his head slightly and got up. Fortunately, he didn’t stop her. Checking on him one last time, she hurried upstairs to get a blanket. Her legs were numb from being his pillow for so long, making it difficult to climb the stairs.

Slowly, holding her numb legs, she grabbed the thickest blanket from the pile in the room. Sora could sleep anywhere, but he was picky, so she had to give him something soft. She hurried back downstairs with the blanket.

The reason Hakbin brought her here was to take care of him, and that’s why she was here, in this unfamiliar place, on a Saturday night.

“Hakbin, the blanket…”

When Sora laid the blanket on the floor and went to call him, he was gone. Where did he go? She looked around, puzzled by the empty sofa, and then heard the splashing of water.

It was coming from the pool.

The pool, which she had glimpsed earlier, flashed through her mind. What happened? She cautiously walked towards the pool.

‘The pool here is deep. Worth the price.’

‘Can you touch the bottom?’

‘I have to stand on my tiptoes, so girls probably can’t.’

Their words echoed in her head, and her heart started pounding. Sora stared at the faint ripples visible through the fluttering curtains. In the dark night, only the dim lights around the pool glowed. The splashing sound grew louder.

When she opened the door and stepped into the pool area, she saw something moving in the water. It was Hakbin. She could tell at a glance that he wasn’t swimming. He was struggling, submerged in the water.

“Hakbin!”