BKR Ch 8

Dry wind carried sand as it blew.

Pervia, the enemy capital, swept by the South Korean anti-aircraft guns. The ground troops, who had arrived to fully occupy the half-demolished city, were stationed in temporary barracks. The Berserker base was also located there.

The Blue Lotus Squad, “Cheongyeon,” was also awaiting orders in this area, off-limits to other units.

Flap-

Cheongyeon, entering after lifting the barrack’s curtain, took off the greatsword strapped to his back. Sitting down on a chair, he placed the heavy, large sword across his knees.

This greatsword, the length of an adult, a handspan wide, made of the world’s hardest metal, was the primary weapon for taking down armored soldiers whose outer shells were made of reinforced steel plates.

A greatsword as the primary weapon in modern warfare like this…? Cheongyeon had found it very strange when he first saw it.

‘But…’

Cheongyeon placed his gloved hand on the greatsword.

‘It was thrilling.’

The events of that time flashed before his eyes.

✦✦✦

“You will be systematically trained here from now on.”

The underground bunker on Yeongam Island. Over 100 children were gathered in a vast training ground that occupied an entire floor of the bunker.

“To become mighty warriors who will annihilate the enemy’s ‘Armored Soldiers,’ you will become Berserkers.”

The orphans, who had been brought here by ship from orphanages just a while ago, stood in formation, listening to the lieutenant colonel’s speech from the high podium.

‘Berserkers…?’

Cheongyeon was one of them.

Most of the children standing here were around 10 to 12 years old. However, there wasn’t a trace of childishness or coquetry among them.

They had already smelled the thick scent of blood on their way here. The soldiers had clearly demonstrated what happened to unmanageable children.

The only thing emphasized was obedience. Any other path led only to a tragic end.

“You, who lived in orphanages, are already dead. This is your new home. You are being reborn here. Forget the past, forget your names. Become entirely new beings…”

The lieutenant colonel’s powerful speech continued.

Cheongyeon, listening quietly, glanced around. He was startled when he saw a small child standing next to him.

‘Wow…!’

Was it a person, or a doll? Cheongyeon couldn’t take his eyes off him.

Despite the shabby clothes, the child’s face was noble and beautiful. His black eyes shone like obsidian, and his scarlet lips on his white face resembled rose petals scattered on milk.

‘He’s really beautiful…’

Cheongyeon was unknowingly captivated.

“How old are you?”

He finally asked softly.

The child turned his head at the question. Jet-black eyes met Cheongyeon’s brown ones. But his lips remained sealed.

Cheongyeon asked again.

“I’m twelve. How about you?”

Only then did the child slightly part his tightly closed lips.

“…Nine.”

“Ah… you’re younger.”

Cheongyeon had expected as much. The child was clearly the smallest among the children here. His physique was also quite small, like a kindergartener. He must have grown up in harsh conditions at the orphanage, without proper nourishment.

“What’s your name?”

The child didn’t answer.

“I’m Park Taehyun. You?”

Cheongyeon, using the same method as before, revealed his name first and then asked. Although the speech had told them to forget their names, he wanted to at least exchange names.

The child looked at him again.

“Seo Dohan…”

His voice was so soft that he almost missed it.

‘Seo Dohan.’

Cheongyeon, barely understanding, repeated the name that wouldn’t be used here.

“…And Berserkers are divided into four classes. C-class, B-class, A-class. And the highest rank, S-class, consists of a very small number.”

The lieutenant colonel, giving the speech, subtly lifted the corners of his mouth.

“Don’t you all want to see what these ‘Berserkers,’ meaning ‘mad warriors,’ are really like?”

Gulp, the children swallowed. Their gazes, filled with anticipation, were fixed on the lieutenant colonel.

The lieutenant colonel pointed to a side door on the platform.

“Then let me introduce them. The 1st Special Abilities Brigade Berserkers…”

Men in black suits began to emerge from the door.

“The first generation, S-class!”

The children’s eyes widened at the unexpected appearance of the highest rank.

There were six S-class members lined up on the platform. Most were in their early twenties, wearing black suits made of a special bulletproof material that reached their necks. They also wore armbands of various designs on their upper arms, wide black belts around their waists, and each had a lean, panther-like physique.

What was particularly unusual was that, unlike in the current era, they all carried large greatswords on their backs. Like heroes from myths, slaying dragons.

“Wow…”

The children were excited as if they were seeing magnificent heroes on stage.

‘Ah…’

Cheongyeon, too, couldn’t take his eyes off the sight.

“Now, I’ll show you right here what these people are capable of.”

As the lieutenant colonel raised his hand, the thick curtain behind him suddenly parted to the sides like a curtain.

“….!”

The children gasped, fear etched on their faces. Standing there was a reinforced war robot of the enemy forces, called an “Armored Soldier.”

Much larger than an average person, with two missiles mounted on its back, a machine gun and flamethrower integrated into its mechanical hands. This armored soldier, with its robust defense and threatening firepower, was a cutting-edge weapon controlled by a human inside. Of course, it was empty now.

“The outer shell of this Armored Soldier cannot be penetrated by ordinary bullets. Simply put, it’s like a human turned into a tank.”

The lieutenant colonel, pointing at the Armored Soldier, turned to the six S-class members.

“Now, the leader of these Berserkers will demonstrate how they neutralize this.”

One of the men stepped forward, drawing his greatsword, which was as tall as he was.

Handsome features, a model-like height. Well-defined muscles and impressive physique. He was the most striking among them, even in appearance alone.

The children held their breath, watching as the man walked towards the Armored Soldier. The man stood tall before the robot.

Slowly, his head tilted to the side.

At that moment.

Whoosh-!

Without any warning, with a single leap, he soared to the top of the Armored Soldier’s head. He brought his greatsword down.

Crackle, screech—!!

The armored soldier, made of bulletproof steel plates, split apart in an instant.

“….!”

The children’s jaws dropped.

Thud… thud-!

The two halves of the body, split cleanly vertically, crashed to either side. If there had been a person inside, they would have been split in two as well. The heavy greatsword, having cleaved through the Armored Soldier’s body, was now embedded in the floor.

Poof… Dust billowed around the split remains.

The children were all dumbfounded by this unbelievable sight. They even stopped blinking.

“Did you see that? Berserkers can slice through that reinforced, bulletproof Armored Soldier like it’s nothing!”

At the lieutenant colonel’s shout, the children snapped back to reality. A powerful thrill ran through their bodies.

It was chilling. It was awesome. It was incredibly impressive. This was literally a berserker, sweeping away everything in its path.

The children’s eyes changed in an instant.

I want to be like that.

Of course, they didn’t yet know how these individuals were created, or how a human body could perform such movements.

The S-class members, who had ascended the platform to ignite the passion of the new seeds, soon departed. Descending via a side staircase, they walked out onto the training ground. The children continued to gaze at the highest-class members with eyes full of awe and admiration.

Cheongyeon, standing at the edge of the formation, also couldn’t take his eyes off them as they passed by. More precisely, he was curiously staring at their armbands, each with a different design.

‘Snow Leopard… Volcano… Black Turtle…’

Then, the man with the “Red Tiger” armband suddenly stopped.

“….?”

Cheongyeon looked up at him, his gaze leaving the armband. It was the tall man who had given the demonstration. The man stared intently somewhere with fierce, tiger-like eyes. Cheongyeon followed his gaze.

At the end of his gaze was a child. The child he had admired earlier, Seo Dohan.

The man continued to stare at that doll-like face. Then he looked away and continued on his way.

There was nothing strange about it. He had just glanced for a moment. But Cheongyeon couldn’t forget the man’s strange gaze. Nor the embroidery on the armband.

People called the man with the “Red Tiger” armband this:

Jeokho (Red Tiger).

✦✦✦

‘…Jeokho.’

Recalling that time, Cheongyeon slipped his hand into the belt around his waist. Hidden inside was an ID card that read [Park Taehyun].

Cheongyeon, who had previously sent Dohan away on the refugee boat, was looking for a plausible opportunity to escape himself. If he tried recklessly, the ID he had worked so hard to obtain would become useless, and he would become a target… Furthermore, it could endanger Dohan, who had left earlier.

But such an opportunity hadn’t come yet. In reality, it was difficult to create one on his own.

Perhaps he might never succeed…

Just then, there was a presence at the entrance of the barracks.

“Major Cheongyeon!”

At the sound of his name, Cheongyeon quickly withdrew the hand he had placed inside his belt.

“What is it?”

The curtain lifted, and “A-2,” a member of the Blue Lotus squad, entered with an urgent expression.

“Major, B-4 in the other barrack isn’t doing well! But the Katra hasn’t arrived yet…”

“What?”

Cheongyeon’s face turned serious as he abruptly stood up. He strapped the greatsword back onto his back. On the battlefield, one never removed their weapon, not even for a moment.

Cheongyeon left his barracks and hurried towards the squad’s barracks.

“Aagh—!”

Even before he entered, horrific screams leaked from within. Cheongyeon flung open the barrack door without hesitation.

“Kraagh—!!”

He saw a squad member collapsed on the floor, writhing in agony. Two other members were holding him down to prevent his limbs from contorting.

Cheongyeon’s mouth fell open.

“B-4…”

This was the name of the B-class member. His original name had long since been erased. This was because everyone was declared dead the moment they arrived on Yeongam Island, in order to eliminate their identities.

And the higher-ups wanted names that were easy to manage. Being called by a specific title, like “Cheongyeon,” was a privilege reserved only for S-class members.

The member holding B-4’s legs looked at Cheongyeon with a distraught face.

“Major, what do we do? B-4 is having another episode…! But we contacted headquarters, and they said there’s no stock left and told us to wait a few days. We’ve already used ours, so what we have…”

Cheongyeon understood why they had called him.

Berserkers were living weapons, their blood, flesh, and bone cells all transformed through a modeling process involving special drugs. Katra was a drug that alleviated the doping side effects, and it was distributed sequentially, starting with the higher ranks.

Naturally, S-class was the top priority. They were the most important weapons in the war.

“Aaagh—!!”

Blood gushed from B-4’s mouth. Unable to bear the burning pain, the peak of the side effects, he had bitten his tongue.

“Kraaagh—!!”

The problem was that these terrible symptoms could strike at any time, without any warning signs. Sometimes they subsided for a month, and other times they flared up every few weeks.

Amazingly, Katra stabilized them instantly. Otherwise, they could face dangerous situations.

But as they could see, everyone was out of Katra. They must be desperate to ask their leader for help.

‘Damn it…!’

Cheongyeon hurriedly pulled a pen-like syringe from the pocket inside his belt. He clicked the button, and a sharp needle popped out.

‘This damned leash!’

Cheongyeon plunged his Katra into B-4’s thigh. The drug inside was instantly injected into his body by pressure.

“Contact headquarters immediately.”

After confirming that B-4 had quickly stabilized, Cheongyeon spoke to his squad members.

“Tell them I’m out of Katra and to send some right away.”

Cheongyeon handed the empty Katra container with his name on it to a nearby member.

“Yes, sir.”

The member who received it replied with a grateful expression.

If they reported that Cheongyeon was out of Katra, headquarters would immediately send more. No matter how expensive the doping drugs or Katra were, they weren’t as valuable as the S-class members here.

‘…Dohan.’

Cheongyeon left the barracks with heavy steps.

‘Will he be alright?’

Back when he had planned to escape with Dohan, they had put their heads together to find ways to reduce their dependence on Katra.

One of the plans they came up with was to reduce the dosage of the doping drug. Although it would decrease their combat power, it would also lessen the side effects.

But unlike Dohan, who was primarily deployed for assassinating high-ranking officials with his lightning-fast movements, Cheongyeon, like other S-class members, was more often on the front lines facing armored soldiers.

He couldn’t reduce his doping dosage.

He didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to be easily defeated by an armored soldier.

But Cheongyeon hadn’t told Dohan this. Because he intended to send Dohan out first. This resolve strengthened when Jeokho took Dohan as his direct subordinate. As he watched Jeokho’s impure clutches reaching out to the grown-up Dohan.

‘He’ll be alright.’

Cheongyeon forcibly suppressed his anxiety, remembering that Dohan used a significantly smaller amount of doping than other S-class members.

He raised his head and looked up at the vast sky. He recalled the day he helped Dohan escape.

‘What will you do when you get out?’

Dohan had asked this back then.

It was a situation where the “Black Devils,” who had come for extermination support, and Cheongyeon’s “Blue Lotus Squad” had infiltrated an enemy warship together.

‘When I get out? Well… I think I’ll have to see when I get there.’

Cheongyeon, who was checking his equipment in the cargo hold, was slightly surprised to see Dohan, who unusually initiated the conversation. He wondered if Dohan was acting strangely because they were about to part ways.

Dohan narrowed his eyes.

‘You’re unprepared.’

‘How can I be prepared? I don’t even know what it’s like out there…’

All he had learned was combat. Cheongyeon was also worried about this.

‘Well, I’ll figure out how to survive when I get there.’

Nevertheless, Cheongyeon spoke cheerfully, without showing any sign of worry. Dohan stared at him with a cold, snow-like expression.

‘Brave despite your ignorance.’

‘What kind of talk is that to your older brother? I’m three years older than you.’

‘Then shall we stop talking?’

Despite the frosty tone, Cheongyeon smiled foolishly.

He loved Dohan’s voice. Even the sharp words spoken in that sweet, beautiful voice were pleasing to him. It was irresistibly charming. He wanted to hear it more. He wanted to hear it for a long, long time.

But today was the day of their indefinite parting…

‘I’ll wait.’

Cheongyeon blurted out.

‘What?’

‘There’s N Seoul Tower in Seoul. Saturday, 2 PM. I’ll be waiting at the pavilion there.’

Dohan looked puzzled.

‘How will you know when I’ll arrive?’

‘You’ll come someday. Because you’ll definitely get out of here.’

Cheongyeon’s eyes were as warm as sunlight. But Dohan’s pupils were incredibly cold.

‘Making empty promises.’

Dohan turned away and added one more thing.

‘You never know what might happen.’

‘…Right, you never know.’

Cheongyeon thought of Dohan’s ID card hidden in his belt. The military academy application and bankbook he had secretly prepared. They were all things that would help Dohan live a normal life out there.

‘Still, Dohan… let’s definitely meet there. I’ll wait, no matter what.’

This vague promise was now the only thread connecting him to Dohan, whom he was about to part with.

‘…I will definitely wait.’

Standing on foreign soil, Cheongyeon looked at the vast sky and reaffirmed his belief.

Under the same sky, Dohan would definitely be waiting for him there.

✦✦✦

‘Ah…’

Dohan, who was reading a book, raised his head.

‘This is boring.’

The blue sky was clear, without a single cloud. The area around the N Seoul Tower pavilion where he was sitting was more crowded and noisy than usual.

Years had passed since the invasion had stopped, and the world was gradually returning to its original state. Scenes like this, with crowds of people flocking to tourist spots on a nice weekend, had also returned. Although fierce battles were still being fought on the front lines.

Dohan looked around the crowded pavilion.

There were various groups of people. Couples holding hands, families with children, groups of friends… Everyone looked happy, as if they didn’t belong to a country at war. Only Dohan’s face was stiff.

Cheongyeon had said this back then:

‘I’ll wait, no matter what.’

Dohan felt exasperated.

‘I told him you never know…’

They say words have power. He hadn’t expected this at all. That he himself would be the one waiting. That he would be sitting here at this pavilion, clinging to that vague promise, endlessly waiting.

‘Really…’

Dohan lowered his gaze back to his book.

‘Unprepared.’

He hadn’t known back then. How agonizing this promise would be for the one waiting, how heavy a shackle it would become.

Dohan suppressed his frustration and tried to focus on his book again.

If Cheongyeon succeeded in escaping without a trace like him, he would definitely come here. Then this torture, this punishment, would all end. He could finally be free from the burden on his heart.

Dohan was becoming increasingly withdrawn with each passing day.

Once the Black Devil, the strongest S-class, feared for even assassinating the enemy president, he was now just a deserter, ignorant of the world and forced to hide his identity.

Of course, he had wanted to leave that place. He was disgusted by what the higher-ups were doing. He also wanted to escape from Jeokho, whose presence felt increasingly suffocating.

But for someone who had only known Yeongam Island and enemy territory, this place was unfamiliar and precarious. Also, the debt he felt towards his older brother, who had helped him escape first, weighed heavily on him.

Dohan looked up. He saw the setting sun beyond the distant cityscape. The summer breeze gently ruffled the black hair that fell over his forehead. But even this warm breeze felt as cold as the midwinter north wind to him.

“Ah…”

A small sigh escaped his lips.

‘Is this loneliness…’

A deep sadness filled his eyes. His empty heart ached with loneliness.

The fact that he was utterly alone, that he could trust no one, and that he had to wait indefinitely with a heavy heart due to a debt he owed…

It felt as though this paradise, which he had reached with such difficulty, was a deserted island.

✦✦✦

Dohan walked through the darkening alley, a bag containing his book slung over his shoulder.

As he approached his front gate,

“…You’re finally here.”

A figure emerged from the shadows by the gate, muttering as it straightened up.

“Where have you been until so late? It’s really hard to see you. I can’t even contact you since you don’t have a phone.”

He recognized the voice instantly, its deep resonance unmistakable. Dohan looked at Kim Jihan, who had appeared suddenly and was grumbling, with a disapproving gaze.

Kim Jihan shook his head in exasperation.

“This won’t do. We need to get you a phone. No, wait, I’ll just give you mine. Use this for now. It’s better than you becoming a statue again. I can’t do this twice.”

Kim Jihan, taking out his phone and clicking his tongue, suddenly glanced at Dohan’s casual attire with unfamiliar eyes.

This was the first time they had met when neither of them was wearing a uniform or training clothes. Kim Jihan was wearing a white shirt, beige slacks, and loafers. Dohan was dressed in a black long-sleeved hoodie and black pants. The hood was pulled low over his head.

“So where were you until this hour?”

Kim Jihan approached Dohan, his eyes filled with curiosity, his gaze lingering on Dohan’s all-black outfit, a stark contrast to his own.

“What are you doing?”

Dohan asked sharply, his voice strained. Having waited all day in a crowded place, he was more exhausted and depressed than usual. So he was in no mood to be polite to someone who had waited for him without permission and was now pestering him with questions.

Perhaps because of Dohan’s sharp reaction, Kim Jihan quickly softened his expression into a gentle smile.

“Have you eaten? You haven’t eaten yet, have you?”

“I asked what you’re doing.”

Despite the friendly tone, Dohan’s voice remained cold. He was very uncomfortable with Kim Jihan’s sudden appearance. Not only had he waited without permission, but the incident in the infirmary weighed heavily on his mind.

The feeling of Kim Jihan brazenly licking and sucking on his lips as if they were candy while he pretended to be unconscious…

Dohan bit his lip, which still tingled from the memory. This place, which had never been touched by another, still felt branded by that moment. Of course, he could never reveal to Kim Jihan the embarrassing fact that he had been wide awake the whole time.

“What am I doing? We agreed to spend the weekend together, have you forgotten? Of course, I came because I was worried. You collapsed again during training, and I had to carry you to the infirmary. You were unconscious, so you wouldn’t know, right? Anyway, I’m ordering food now.”

Kim Jihan replied casually, holding up his phone.

‘Does he really think I was unconscious…?‘

Dohan eyed Kim Jihan doubtfully as he tapped on his phone screen. He seemed genuinely unaware. That was what Dohan wanted to believe, anyway.

“I picked noodles so it’s easy for you to eat. Let’s see, it’ll take 20 minutes. Okay, ordered.”

“….”

“What are you doing? Let’s go inside and eat together.”

Kim Jihan put his phone away and spoke warmly, gesturing towards the locked gate. But Dohan still hesitated.

Kim Jihan smiled brightly, like a child.

“I waited all day, you’re not going to tell me to leave now, are you?”

Seeing his bright smile, Dohan felt a mix of emotions.

A sense of camaraderie with someone who, having waited all day for someone else, had in turn waited for him all day. And a sense of comfort knowing that someone had waited for him.

At this moment, Dohan felt the tension that he always carried loosen slightly. For some reason, he felt a lump in his throat.

Perhaps he wanted to cry. Because he had felt like he had been standing alone all day in a vast, unfamiliar wilderness.

Without a word, Dohan walked to the gate, unlocked it with his key, and opened it. Once again, Kim Jihan slipped inside first. His confident strides crossed the yard as if he owned the place.

They entered the small room.

Dohan washed his hands first and leaned against the wall, taking out the book he was reading from his bag. Kim Jihan also took off his backpack and washed his hands. His bag was still filled with textbooks and workbooks.

The scene of one reading and the other studying unfolded once more.

A little while later.

Knock, knock-

At the delivery driver’s knock, Dohan, who was reading, took out his wallet from his bag.

“I already paid.”

Kim Jihan said, his eyes still on his workbook.

‘Aha…’

So you can pay with your phone. Dohan realized something new and put his wallet back in his bag.

Kim Jihan had ordered jajangmyeon, tangsuyuk, fried dumplings, and jjambbong. The smell was so tantalizing that Dohan, who was extremely hungry, couldn’t help but salivate.

“Here.”

Using the low table as a dining table, Kim Jihan handed Dohan a painkiller from his bag. Dohan accepted it without protest.

Thanks to this medicine, he was able to eat much better than before. As he received sufficient nutrients, his throat condition also showed noticeable improvement. So, as long as he had painkillers, he could eat soft foods like jajangmyeon without any problems. Spicy food like the jjambbong Kim Jihan had chosen was still too much for him, though.

Kim Jihan blew on his jjambbong noodles and glanced at Dohan.

“Eating well? You’ve definitely gained weight. Thankfully, you’re not constitutionally an anchovy.”

“Anchovy?”

Dohan’s eyebrows rose slightly. He was reminded of the rough-looking men from before.

“Calling someone an anchovy. You’re no different from those rude men from before.”

“If you don’t want to hear that, just eat well. Isn’t that right?”

As if trying to smooth things over, Kim Jihan plopped a piece of tangsuyuk onto Dohan’s jajangmyeon.

“Oh, right. Are you boo-meok or jik-meok? Which side are you on?”

Dohan blinked, having never heard those words before.

‘Boo-meok, jik-meok…?’

It was a question he couldn’t understand at all. Since he said “side,” it seemed like he was asking about his origin or affiliation… Or perhaps it was about his war tendencies, and a wrong answer could be dangerous.

“What are you?”

Dohan felt that asking back was the best course of action in these situations.

“Jik-meok. You?”

Kim Jihan asked back and slurped his jjambbong.

“Me too.”

Dohan gave the same answer, choosing the safe route. Looking down, he saw the piece of tangsuyuk Kim Jihan had given him. Dohan glanced over the table, picked up the sauce container, and poured it all over the tangsuyuk.

Seeing the crispy tangsuyuk coated in the sweet and sour sauce made him feel good. Dohan picked up the sauce-drenched tangsuyuk with a satisfied expression.

“….?”

But when he looked up, he saw Kim Jihan looking at him with a dumbfounded expression. Why was he reacting like that? He couldn’t understand. Hungry, Dohan ignored him and focused on eating.

Kim Jihan, watching him, smiled subtly, a knowing look in his eyes.

After finishing their meal and brushing their teeth, they returned to the quiet stillness from before.

“Oh, my back.”

Kim Jihan, who was studying at the low table, suddenly groaned. Being tall, the hunched-over posture seemed uncomfortable for him.

Dohan glanced at the clock on the wall. It was past 9 PM. Because of the wartime curfew, going out after midnight was prohibited.

‘Why isn’t he leaving?’

But Kim Jihan, who was now spreading his textbooks on the floor and lying down, showed no signs of leaving. Dohan, feeling he had to do something, asked,

“How long are you going to stay?”

“I’m just going to sleep over.”

The answer was so absurd that Dohan wasn’t even surprised.

“Are you serious?”

“What’s wrong with that? It’s Sunday tomorrow anyway. Do you have any spare pajamas?”

“Get out.”

“If you don’t, I’ll just sleep like this. It’s comfortable enough.”

“Who said you could sleep here?”

Dohan snapped irritably, no longer willing to accommodate Kim Jihan’s intrusion. Kim Jihan, who hadn’t budged, suddenly turned his head.

“Ah, I really can’t solve this. Can you help me?”

“What?”

“You’re good at math. I’ve been struggling with this for a while now. Look, my brain is smoking.”

His brain wasn’t literally smoking, but Kim Jihan’s voice sounded quite pathetic. Of course, Dohan wouldn’t be swayed by such things.

“Didn’t you hear me tell you to leave?”

“How can I leave like this? I have to finish what I’m working on. So that both of us can sleep comfortably under the covers, right?”

Dohan chuckled. He felt a sense of resignation.

He was always the one getting serious. Kim Jihan seemed completely unaffected. Was he incredibly resilient, or just plain crazy…? In any case, Dohan realized that there were people in the world who were simply impossible to understand.

‘I’ll just help him with this…’

Dohan finally let out a low sigh and approached Kim Jihan, who was lying down.

‘And then I’ll kick him out.’

Kim Jihan handed Dohan a pen. Dohan took it and sat down beside him. Lying down next to him, Dohan looked at the problem and began writing formulas in a notebook.

But as he wrote down the numbers and symbols, Kim Jihan’s breath drew closer. His scent, too, grew stronger.

Dohan could tell. Kim Jihan was leaning close, looking not at the notebook, but at the side of his face. With a very intense gaze.

Thump, thump… Suddenly, his pulse quickened.

“….!”

Dohan was startled. It was the first time his heart had raced just from someone looking at him.

‘What the…’

Dohan’s mind was in turmoil, so he stared down at the notebook, focusing all his attention on it.

‘Why am I like this…?‘

He thought he knew. It was because of that lingering kiss in the infirmary. Because of that heated contact, Kim Jihan’s gaze felt different now.

Kim Jihan slowly opened his mouth.

“…You smell good.”

At those words, Dohan’s hand stopped writing the formula. His eyes, fixed on the notebook, wavered.

You smell good… He didn’t know how to react to such words.

Glancing sideways, he saw Kim Jihan’s closed eyes and clean brow. His straight nose, following the line of his forehead, was so close it was almost buried in the crook of Dohan’s neck.

Thump, thump.

His heart beat even faster. The one who had freely licked his lips in the infirmary was now exploring his body with his nose.

‘Ah…’

As his heart raced uncontrollably, Dohan became unbearably uncomfortable. This unfamiliar reaction, this situation he didn’t know how to handle, further confused him, already on edge in this strange place.

He wished this whole thing were a math formula. Then there would at least be a correct answer. But there was no answer to this.

Being with Kim Jihan was always like this. He was constantly placed in situations where he didn’t know how to interpret or react. Every time, Dohan felt the weight of his underlying anxiety increase.

Dohan hurriedly wrote down the rest of the formula. He wanted to escape this predicament as quickly as possible.

Finally, as he arrived at the answer, Kim Jihan’s lips parted again.

“My mother also smelled really good…”

He opened his closed eyes.

“But she committed suicide. When I was nine.”

“….!”

Dohan turned his head sharply. This was completely unexpected.

“And the place she hanged herself was, of all places, my room. The room I don’t use anymore.”

Light brown eyes met jet-black pupils directly.

“I still remember it vividly. I opened the door and saw feet right in front of me… Fortunately, I didn’t see her face. The housekeeper covered my eyes and ran out with me in her arms.”

Dohan blinked, stunned. He didn’t know how to react to this, either. Thankfully, his wildly beating heart calmed down.

“Anyway, I’m glad I didn’t see it. It was just a fleeting moment, but I can’t forget that sight. If I had seen her face, it would have been truly horrific… Do you know why?”

Kim Jihan’s eyes, recalling that time, were lost in the past.

“My mother was really beautiful… She was the principal ballerina and played the Swan Queen in the performance. They say everyone fell in love with her at first sight. My father was one of them.”

Swan Queen… Dohan remembered Kim Jihan listening to Swan Lake on his CD player. If that music was connected to his mother’s suicide, he could understand why Kim Jihan had acted so strangely back then.

“Everyone said my mother and I were spitting images of each other. Even when I look at the photos, our eyes, nose, and mouth are really identical. What do you think, wasn’t she a real beauty?”

Kim Jihan smiled slightly and pointed to his own face.

“….”

Dohan didn’t argue, looking at his finely sculpted features. If Kim Jihan, the son, looked like this, it was undeniable that his mother, who had passed on these features, must have been a great beauty.

“So I’m really glad. That I didn’t see her face… In my memories, my mother will always remain young and beautiful.”

Kim Jihan looked away and turned his gaze back to the notebook.

“Why…”

Dohan wet his dry lips.

“…did she make that choice?”

Dohan looked at Kim Jihan with puzzled eyes. It was very rare for him to ask about someone’s personal affairs. That was how deeply Kim Jihan’s words had resonated with him.

Kim Jihan, seeing Dohan finally showing interest in him, smiled slightly.

“She was sick. Not physically, but mentally… She took medicine and was often hospitalized, but her symptoms kept getting worse. And then, in the end, that happened.”

‘Mental illness…’

Having found the answer, Dohan lowered his gaze to the notebook.

He had unintentionally learned that Kim Jihan didn’t have a mother. And that she had left him at such a young age.

But for some reason, learning this felt very strange.

Until now, Kim Jihan had seemed like a dazzling silk butterfly, lacking nothing. A butterfly fluttering in the blue sky, untouched by any violent storms.

But it turned out that one of his wings was torn.

“But where are your parents?”

Kim Jihan asked casually.

“….”

Dohan didn’t answer.

“Tell me quickly. I told you a secret… It’s only fair.”

Kim Jihan urged him in a gentle voice.

Dohan rolled his eyes silently. Of course, there was no obligation to answer, and he could refuse. But he didn’t intend to. At this moment, his mind was made up.

Dohan slowly opened his closed lips.

“…It was hell.”

“….?”

Kim Jihan’s eyebrows rose at the sudden words.

“At the orphanage, and in the home that adopted me… They confined me so I couldn’t escape and used all sorts of methods to make my vision blur with pain. How did they do it, you ask…”

Dohan began to calmly explain the acts inflicted upon his younger self. As the details were revealed layer by layer, like peeling an onion, Kim Jihan stopped blinking.

“And if I screamed or cried out loud, they would bring a spoon heated over a gas flame and put it in my mouth…”

Kim Jihan’s mouth fell open as he heard the rest of the story.

Dohan, who had spoken of such horrific things, had a blank, emotionless expression, like a mannequin. As if he were recounting a scene he had witnessed from afar.

“…Anyway, after experiencing that, I couldn’t make a sound again.”

Dohan finished speaking of that time, when even his emotions had died, and closed his mouth tightly.

In the silence that followed, a strange light flickered in Kim Jihan’s eyes as he looked at Dohan.