AR Ch 5 part 3

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“Ahem.”

Once her racing heartbeat had returned to normal, Jiwon cleared her throat with an awkward look on her face. Seokju did his best to keep an indifferent expression as he asked her a question.

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“How was it?”

“How was what…”

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“The sex we had.”

Jiwon laughed in disbelief.

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“Are you asking me if I enjoyed it? How romantic.”

“I don’t care if it’s romantic or not. I only care that it’s erotic.”

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When he asked her a second time while still inside her, Jiwon let out a deep sigh. Then she slowly covered her lips with her slender hand.

“You’re seriously such a jerk…”

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When he saw that she was whispering, Seokju frowned and brought his head closer to her. Her breathy voice rang in his ear.

“How can you be so good at everything? It’s really annoying, Shin Seokju.”

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A laugh burst out of his lips. Seokju then realized that he had been feeling very nervous about her answer.

“Tell me clearly.”

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Jiwon blinked before talking about it in full swing.

“Wow. When you first put it inside, I really thought my body was going to be split in half. Every time you moved, it felt like my skin was being ripped out of me. I don’t know how you managed to push that inside of me, but all I could think was that you couldn’t possibly be human. But then it suddenly began to feel weird, you know? Every time you rubbed against me, something tingled and twisted in my lower stomach, and my body grew hot. And then weird moans kept escaping my lips…”

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He had only been fishing for compliments, but he didn’t realize it would arouse him to this extent. Unable to endure it anymore, Seokju grabbed her hand and lowered it. He tangled his tongue with hers, and the rest of Jiwon’s remarks faded away. Jiwon wrapped her arms around his neck. After Seokju ended his greedy kiss, Seokju enclosed his hands around her back and slowly stood up.

The sunset was peeking through the half-closed curtains of the window. Detective Park was out on a business trip, and there was still a long time left before Jiwon’s mother would close her shop. In other words, all the pent-up desire and lust inside Seokju were far from satisfied.

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“Doing it like last time is scary.”

Jiwon furtively whispered to him.

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“What did I do?”

Jiwon couldn’t give an answer. Her skin, peppered with his kiss marks, started to flush into a rosy hue. Seokju held her in his arms and began to press kisses onto her soft, fragrant skin.

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“Did it hurt that much? At first?”

“Yeah. But that doesn’t matter.”

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Seokju continued to hold her as his hips slowly rocked back and forth. Because Jiwon’s back was pressed up against it, the worn-out door of her bedroom began to rattle softly. Enclosed within Seokju’s arms, Jiwon drew in a hot, ragged breath. It was almost as if he were holding a deer with its long limbs stretched out. Seokju asked as if he were seeking reassurance.

“Do you still like me even if I hurt you?”

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Sticky, wet noises began to emanate from between their legs. It was different from the rough noises of their skin slapping together like last time, but it still sounded incredibly erotic. Seokju grazed his hand down her spine before squeezing her plump bottom. Every time they moved up and down, something trickled out from where they were connected and dripped down his testicles. It was not the raw and somewhat familiar fluid he normally secreted. It smelled erotic and sweet.

“Hnng… Nng… Nnnng.”

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“Did you want me so badly that you became this drenched? Do girls ejaculate when they get aroused, too?”

It was a difficult question to answer. He could have just made his observations and ended it there. Jiwon’s lips did not easily open. She merely bit her lips as she was shaken up and down by his movements. But this only served to spur him on even more.

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“Alright. I’ll just shut up and fuck you.”

Seokju squeezed his arms around her and pulled his hips back before thrusting deep inside. Jiwon held onto his shoulders and buried her face against his neck.

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Seokju no longer questioned her. Instead, while they were still connected as one, he sat down on the edge of the bed. The old springs of the mattress began to creak once again. As Seokju thrust in and out as he pleased, his cock scraped along her sensitive walls. Possibly because they had changed their position, he was able to reach even deeper inside her. Jiwon threw back her head and let out a cry.

“Nng, nng… Hnng! Aahng…!”

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Jiwon gazed at him as her body trembled. When her walls began to twitch and squeeze around him, Seokju’s breaths turned ragged. He grabbed her hips with both hands and frantically moved back and forth. As his cock rubbed up and down, Jiwon clenched her hands around his shoulders as if she couldn’t endure the intense pleasure. Her lean legs were stretched out as her inner thighs twitched.

“Aaah… Ah…!”

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Seokju had imagined having sex with Jiwon countless times as he pleasured himself, but they were no match for the real deal. Jiwon’s face as she was overwhelmed by ecstasy was incredibly erotic. He couldn’t believe she had hid this expression from him all this time.

“Fuck…”

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Seokju smashed her against his chest and began to violently thrust in and out. As his cock continued to pierce through her drenched entrance, it began to press up against her innermost part without mercy. His pitch black pubic hair was drenched with his and Jiwon’s fluids.

“It feels so good inside you when you come. It’s soft and hot.”

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“Hnng! Ah…! Nng…! Nng! Aahng!”

Jiwon’s body bounced violently above him. As Seokju continued to pound in and out from below her, the rims of Jiwon’s eyes reddened as tears trickled down her cheeks.

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“Ugh… Aahng… Seo-Seokju, ah!…! Ah! Ah! Nng!”

Jiwon’s sporadic cries had faded somewhat, but they quickly transformed into unintelligible moans. Seokju began to move in quick and shallow thrusts to get her to climax again. He crushed her violently heaving breasts against his chest and grabbed her hair. He brought his lips to her ear and asked a question in a panting voice.

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“Feel good?”

“Yeah, feels good, ugh… Seokju, it feels goo—… ah.”

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The emotions he had suppressed deep within his heart began to gush out. I have the right to dream of a future with you. He was the one who had saved her when she was merely a terrified, trembling child. Didn’t she owe him a debt ever since then? I’m the one who gave you life, so I can have it now. If it was Jiwon, if it was the only woman who accepted him for who he was, she wouldn’t let go of his hand even if he were an alien or a monster.

“I love you.”

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Jiwon pulled her head away from his neck and looked at him with wide eyes. Seokju drew in a shaky breath, but he confessed one more time. He wanted to let go of everything. He didn’t want to hide it anymore.

“I love you.”

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He would probably never confess this to anyone ever again. Jiwon looked at him with trembling eyes before she silently embraced him. Seokju felt that he could only be completely honest when he was inside her. In no time, the day turned into night.

“Tell me why you like me. From one to ten.”

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After they took a shower and got changed, Seokju looked down at her as she lay comfortably on the small sofa.

“You’re really weird.”

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When Jiwon feigned indifference, Seokju pulled her close and bit down on her cheek. Because they had washed together, they both smelled like the body wash they had used. Just a while ago, she had clung onto the sink and cried out until the bathroom rang with her moans as they had sex. But now, she was acting like nothing happened. Seokju didn’t like it.

“I’ll lower it to five, so tell me. Why do you like me?”

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“Can you tell me your reasons? The reasons why you like me? Can you tell me clearly?”

“I can even classify them into files.”

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Seokju replied matter-of-factly. Jiwon shook her head and clicked her tongue.

“Can you try to not make it so obvious that you have OCD?”

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It was at moments like these that Jiwon’s behavior aroused him the most. When she pushed one of his buttons that he had tried to hide. As if it were nothing. She was the same when she spoke about herself. Jiwon said things that others would have a hard time revealing. It flustered the listener.

To be honest, there were many people other than Jiwon who did not filter what they said. There were plenty of people who could not hide what they were thinking on their face. But these kinds of people were characterized by a strong sense of self-love, and they evaluated the world according to their own standards. They were only eager to talk about themselves, and they held no interest in others.

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“Do you think about me a lot?”

Jiwon looked at him in disbelief.

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“What do you think it means to like someone? It means that you keep thinking about them. No, it means that the person doesn’t leave your head even if you want them to. That’s how you know. You start to think, ‘Ah, I must like this person.’”

Seokju’s expectations of mankind were at rock bottom, but whenever Jiwon said things like this and hit the mark, he didn’t know how to react. Even though she was so dense that she couldn’t even remember who he was, whenever she was like this, he felt like she was a person who knew a lot more about the world.

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“I think I now know the one thing you can’t do.”

Jiwon clicked her tongue and shook her head.

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“You’re a dating eunuch. Aah, I’m the crazy one. Just the thought of dating you brings me pain.”

“I didn’t say we’d be dating yet.”

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Seokju held her face and turned it to him. His mouth went dry. ‘What?’ Jiwon asked back. He wanted to bite and suck on those lips.

“Even just one reason is fine. Tell me why you like me.”

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Even though he was tired of asking, there was nothing he could do. He decided that he’d make a decision after hearing her answer. If he was going to tell her everything about his past, now was the time to do it.

“Don’t get mad when you hear it.”

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“Okay.”

“You’re cool.”

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“You don’t have to tell me. I already know that.”

Although he didn’t know what he had wanted to hear from her, this wasn’t it. Seokju frowned. Jiwon observed his reaction and continued.

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“No, from what I can see, I don’t think you know. Just how awesome you really are.”

Seokju felt his throat close up as his mouth went dry.

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“…What do you mean?”

“Actually, you hate yourself, Seokju.”

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The mumbled sounds coming from the television faded away.

“That’s why you’re always trying to become more and more perfect. Because you hate yourself.”

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Jiwon’s smiling face continued to speak in a clear voice.

“But you know what? I like that side of you. Actually, I think I kinda respect you for it. I’ve never worked so hard to preserve my pride like you do. I’ve never held back and endured for a specific goal or target before.”

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“What have I held back from?”

“Dating me?”

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Damn it. She was speaking truths as if they were nothing again.

“As long as I don’t die and stay alive, it’ll all turn out fine. It’ll turn out fine in the end anyways. I was always thinking stuff like that, but as I watched you, I grew more motivated. Even though the words and letters seem to spin around my head whenever I open an unfamiliar book, whenever I think about you, I want to do well. This is actually kinda embarrassing, but you’re going to be even more amazing than you are now. If I’m going to stand by your side, I don’t want to look pathetic.”

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After she finished rambling on, Jiwon gave him an awkward look as she lightly scratched her nose. Seokju continued to stare piercingly at her before he spit out a shocking confession.

“…My parents registered my birth a year after I was born, so I’m actually a year older than you.”

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“Makes sense. No wonder you act like a boomer.”

Even though it was a humiliating confession that he had never made to anyone else in his life, Jiwon merely laughed and joked back.

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“I won’t call you ‘oppa’. Don’t even dream of it.”

“I never expected you to.”

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Seokju drew in a shaky breath. Something hot was boiling inside of him.

“You said you loved me, right? Then just trust me, Seokju. You’re plenty cool enough. So cool that you can be a jerk sometimes.”

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He thought she was an idiot. He recognized her as soon as he saw her, but she still didn’t know who he was as she continued to snicker and poke fun at him. Seokju felt that this was laughable in its own right. However…

“…Do you have the confidence to not regret what you just said?”

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His feelings for her had already pierced through his skin and taken root inside. He didn’t want to hide anything from her anymore. Jiwon stared at him before letting out a hum. She turned her head.

“Just seeing your expression makes me regret it.”

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Just as Seokju was about to grab her hips, Jiwon’s phone began to ring on the table. Jiwon burst out of the sofa and kicked his perfectly packed bag out of the way, causing it to topple over.

“Ah, it’s Mom. Hey, you be quiet. Shh! Or else I’m going to tell her everything.”

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“Tell her. It doesn’t matter.”

Seokju was serious. Now that they acknowledged their feelings, he felt a lot better and more relaxed. Now that he’d crossed the biggest hurdle, the rest would be easier. Jiwon’s mother had already started to notice a few things going on between them already, so she might actually be happy for them in the end. Detective Park might be anxious in the beginning, but he was the type of guy who would ultimately support his daughter’s decision. As long as they solidified their relationship now, Seokju’s anxiety would lessen somewhat even when they were apart.

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“Try to finish the call as soon as you can. I have something I need to tell you.”

He embraced her from behind and picked her up. Jiwon squealed as she answered the phone. Seokju’s heart grew tense as it began to race. He was not proud of his past and background. However, at the thought of the way Jiwon’s eyes sparkled whenever she recalled the events of her childhood, he was even more determined to reveal his past to her.

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I’m your first love, the boy who helped you escape in the rain. Unfortunately, your first love is not younger than you, but I can be a lot more amazing than I am now. As long as you continue to trust me as you do now.

“M-Mom…!”

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Jiwon, who had burst into laughter just a moment before, was now suddenly speaking in a low voice.

“…What? Mom, what do you mean…”

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Seokju, who still held her in his arms, slightly loosened his grip. Jiwon’s voice sounded strange. Seokju let go of her and observed her face. The laughter from a moment ago was still awkwardly stuck on her face, but her expression gradually stiffened as she grew pale.

“What happened?”

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Jiwon’s ashy face seemed to freeze, and she couldn’t utter a word. The phone dropped from her hand and fell to the ground. Seokju grabbed the phone and frowned.

“Hello? Ahjumma. Is everything okay?”

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Jiwon’s mother merely let out a devastating wail through the receiver. The crown of Seokju’s head stiffened as an ominous feeling overcame him. Jiwon looked at him with dazed eyes.

“…She said my dad died.”

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The heartbroken shriek grew clearer on the phone.

“What?”

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Was this God’s warning? Detective Park’s death. Seokju was overcome with shock as if someone had struck him on the back of the head. A thought suddenly flashed through his mind, surprising even himself.

“My dad… is dead, Seokju.”

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Now no one knew about his past.

“Get a hold of yourself.”

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Jiwon’s legs went limp, and Seokju held her in his arms as his body trembled. A fever seemed to come over his eyes as he did his best to remain calm. Just a moment ago, Seokju had believed that he could salvage this situation. He believed that he could edit the future with her that he had drawn out in his head, but he never thought he’d completely lose her. It had been an overconfident belief on his part.