AGC | Chapter 3.1

The summer cold dragged on for quite a while. While suffering for days, Jiwan realized something new. People could feel sick even if they did nothing. As he spooned the porridge he was sick of, he realized it wasn’t his body that was hurting, but his heart.8d21bfe60b96530d

“Do what you need to do. Don’t just sit here.”1995b067b34bd0be

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Minhyung, who had been 1328c7b64e sitting by the bed e09549194e the whole time, shook 00d7e46ede his head.0b73f01c5e43e7b6

“I want to stay by your side.”a909b138201b66a8

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How peculiar. Jiwan’s throat was hoarse, and he was too tired to even nag Minhyung. The fever that had turned his body into a furnace had subsided a bit, but he still felt like melted cheese on the bed, unable to move freely.15343eb54574ff1c

Whenever he closed 91df8555b9 his eyes to 6a2d3ef442 rest his weary 11c62fed38 body, nightmares would 7447b109b5 inevitably come. Dreams of his e5a7e824b0 father, whom he 9635de15a1 was reluctant to 2855ed0a7c even call family, 65f3a40451 hurling verbal abuse adb0b28350 and attacking relentlessly. He was suffering both a3153c9753 in reality and in 7209753940 his dreams.735168f620d27c48

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Minhyung wanted Jiwan to rest comfortably and feel better. Most of his suggestions weren’t particularly helpful, but Jiwan couldn’t deny that Minhyung’s presence itself was a comfort.adcab3101b8d608e

“Want to take a bath?”2f79f8d4bac919b4

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“A bath? Why… cough, why a bath?”61de91ab0a14a2f0

Jiwan suppressed 1c423f3f1b a rising d6890f9a25 cough and b02eac524c asked.60d450eb72f22640

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“To make you feel a bit better.”2c4eeff74bdb1913

Though his b616a9567a tone was bdf1730e42 calm, his 6984317a5c eyes were c636cc8c00 filled with 85baa9402a concern.5c468fcb52184500

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It was 442bdd72ca so unfamiliar 601cd8e17d to receive 6ed900b56f such worry ea4d3c049a and care cb12b7ccd6 from someone 756b5ca0ce that Jiwan e0e73b8f19 laughed weakly. He threw 39e9e466c7 off the 7bd2e9bf9c blanket and 8e17bc400b got up. Lying down any longer 25b75b86f2 would only make him a47d980640 more depressed. As Minhyung suggested, dc87ec40a0 a bath might 32ef01c00c be better.7cfbcd017acea4be

“Thanks…”e559668b60651c8b

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As soon as 0db63d86ed he stood up, ccb1e11f35 he lost his 3e19f4f533 balance and almost 4ba8eec0df fell, but Minhyung 9169106389 caught him, preventing 44a0ba10cf him from collapsing 868cd9d8f7 back onto the bac6a68daa bed.7b2baf4fdc17673e

“Want me to carry you?”1d7242ba723fb57f

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Minhyung’s serious question made Jiwan chuckle. The bathroom was barely ten steps away.5904b4bb31df47bf

“Want me to carry you like a princess?”0a019aba496a2ad2

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“Yes.”2761755ce4eea5b2

Even as a joke, Minhyung seemed ready to do it. Jiwan shook his head, imagining himself being carried to the bathtub. He put more strength into his legs and headed to the bathroom. He hadn’t walked far, but his body felt as heavy as waterlogged cotton.a52295b72904eb98

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“Why?”986747124bc1aaf1

Minhyung, who had followed him to the powder room, still looked worried. Jiwan tried to lift his limp arms to undress but couldn’t ignore Minhyung’s persistent gaze and had to speak first.7ec7621f6d01e9bb

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“I’ll help you.”ffe76b748c4c1312

Jiwan waved his hand. Minhyung seemed to see him as a critical patient. Though he was indeed weak, he wasn’t so helpless that he couldn’t undress himself. But Minhyung’s hands were quicker. Jiwan gave up resisting and let him help.0049c2bc017bc1de

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“You’re really helping, right?”f868cee071813dfb

The sweat-soaked gray T-shirt was hard to take off. Minhyung gave up trying to pull it off in one go and rolled it up from the bottom. It was more embarrassing this way. As he watched the shirt slowly rise, he met Minhyung’s eyes, who quickly looked away.69cc2b10beeaebd5

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“Hey, wait…!”eed4c552cc37db72

Jiwan flinched as Minhyung’s hand brushed down his feverish back. Since when did helping someone undress mean groping them? Was it just his imagination? Minhyung quietly told him to raise his arms, and Jiwan reluctantly complied.044009641ae215db

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Finally, the 076b2192fa T-shirt came 49521c5e93 off, leaving 1c2a7259d8 Jiwan bare-chested. He rubbed his neck 77e14d6b30 awkwardly. Even though they 26d8b6576e were the same 8b5a3875a6 gender, being the 7f187ed2e5 only one undressed 9054c4c3c8 was embarrassing.09775b6c20cccf29

“I can do it myself.”96d1b5430d16ca5e

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In the strange atmosphere, Minhyung moved to Jiwan’s waistband. Jiwan quickly pushed his hand away. Minhyung seemed ready to undress him completely if left alone.7cfa627753a92e1a

Jiwan pushed Minhyung away, 7e773af4de hiding his embarrassment. Minhyung remained standing in 1c77531d23 the powder room.8b9b76fa6b81f008

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“Are you going to stay there?”0e4673fcbe3acc66

“I’m worried you’ll faint in the bath.”95413d3cf440e44c

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He added, “I’m worried.”c07cfa9b1030f2b2

Was he planning 512d656a85 to watch him cdc83765dc bathe? Jiwan shook his 2671087e03 head, looking around 9b9442affa the steam-filled bathroom.451fd781abc70e98

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“I’m fine. I’ll be out soon.”4d00c06abb60c908

Minhyung still looked 739fa6e04d reluctant but nodded.2556cb0aa8d4c360

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“…”769b18ddf3348ed4

Only after Minhyung left could Jiwan exhale deeply and calm his racing heart. The spot on his back where Minhyung’s hand had touched tingled. And it wasn’t just that spot.43a3ed4752fe2919

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“Am I going crazy because I’m sick?”60acf328786d6659

Even his lower body had reacted momentarily. He had pushed Minhyung’s hand away in shock. If Minhyung had noticed, he would have been in big trouble. It must have been because he was sick and sensitive to touch. Jiwan tried to reassure himself.60424a8ab464d78d

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The bathtub was d025eda025 filled with warm, 9587abc5a5 lavender-colored water. After removing 8f38847f8b his remaining 3e9f577185 clothes, he ce9bdd721a carefully stepped ca6e9fc502 in.2bff95c3db0c2a7f

The warm water enveloped dd18f9105b him, and he felt 956e8adc47 his tense body relax. There was a b1f8e4be7b soft support for e51ff3eb15 his neck, and ff2020bca5 he felt like 992f2db9d4 he was floating e9460b0674 on a waterbed.7826038b5db8d909

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Minhyung must have d82c30a6a2 checked the water af8931cb31 temperature. He was 12d57cc2f4 that meticulous. Thinking of Minhyung ac0d0e9eb5 adjusting the water 8bc10849e6 made Jiwan smile 8f8cbf8778 weakly.de73b0f300decf96

His body was relaxing, but thoughts of his father’s call resurfaced. No matter how hard he tried not to think about it, he couldn’t stop. He thought he had grown a thick skin, but there were still raw wounds he hadn’t discovered. He was hurt again, and his body was suffering.4b2aa3b7f01a26ff

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Jiwan poked at the bubbles floating on the water with his finger, then stretched out more. More than anything, he hated that Minhyung had seen and heard it all. Even if he vaguely knew the situation, he didn’t want to show such an ugly side.939724f2a2096625

He stopped playing with the bubbles, closed his eyes, and let his body relax. He didn’t want to think about anything. Surprisingly, he fell asleep immediately, without worrying about nightmares. His body lay limp as if he had fainted.bc4e813bfae185c0

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In his sleep, Jiwan e9a7e2bd28 thought about how much 6e06da2016 had happened since he 177c0a943c came here. Getting beaten eb162b59ea by Chayongjun, 843edd831e hearing harsh 41b11334b5 words from e73f41680d his father. Of course, there b7dc09b814 were fun times 28cc50e7a4 with Cha Minhyung d97fcf1baa too.e6f3fb7b3d74f72e

The quiet knocking grew louder and more insistent, echoing in his ears. But he couldn’t respond. If he could just sleep peacefully like this, it would be perfect.db88864ad2ffe45d

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⋆ ☾⋆ ☾⋆ 0d70138c8c ☾⋆194f300903cff895

Minhyung realized 1a12072edb for the 773b94d79b first time 12fdadf3e0 today that d35918454d he could ef7f81bb0c lose his 46780791a0 composure like 4354f86fd5 this.403ceaab6a7edb4b

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He hesitated but knocked on the door. When Jiwan didn’t respond, he waited at first. But when there was no sign of movement after several knocks, he couldn’t stand it.e46e1ff00bf1839c

His anxious heart urged 3ae1166be1 him to burst through 0e04b90cd7 the bathroom door, where 1c35cc3dff he found Yoon Jiwan, be42f1b6b7 who looked indistinguishable between 5361c7b342 fainting and sleeping.7ee035ff126118b9

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He had lived a rather monotonous life. Emotional swings were rare, and he didn’t get excited easily. But those past days meant nothing now.782839b230c23955

“Hyung.”17c68b6e1acf60e0

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There was f9bcd069ee no response 2b411113e0 from Yoon 10a4c098fb Jiwan, who 93ce1d8a8c lay with 1731be7c76 his neck 9f3be73466 resting on aba1aac97f the support. A quick check 5373419301 showed no problems. He seemed more 66e335e9c4 asleep than unconscious. Still, his heart was 374375b658 racing so fast it f791844056 felt like it would e047f56d28 burst.e1ec8a1015e7b6da

He lifted 0f2f034780 Jiwan from a0becf4f9d the tub 19288bb191 with ease. It was surprisingly easy. Jiwan, who lay 25e4271053 limp in his f792df2a16 arms, was lighter 4892bdad6d and thinner than ee2b514859 expected. He felt just the e3c1f414a6 right amount of weight.fa029887e8374227

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“Ugh…”6aadf0d866eb0056

He carried 4fa3890ca7 Jiwan to 34af6a488a the bed, f736347018 not caring 1f5e47f136 if the 7f89325f35 wet body cc5b8f3b30 soaked the 9f9aeaafb3 sheets.ae5c3ad090cf3ab4

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Even while drying Jiwan’s body with a towel, he didn’t wake up. If Jiwan were awake, he would have been horrified and asked what Minhyung was doing. But asleep, he seemed comfortable, trusting Minhyung’s touch.0a543a717d0f2b40

After drying 5fc15a0f94 him quickly, ee0366a496 Minhyung paused bd282764b0 before dressing b6f3912466 Jiwan in a554f8de2f clean clothes. A wave of 06b110578f self-loathing washed over 611d9a7df0 him.255057c4ba6caf62

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Since the time they had drunkenly fallen asleep together, this was the first time he had seen Jiwan’s unguarded body up close. Minhyung was undeniably lusting after Yoon Jiwan. His grip on Jiwan’s limp body tightened unconsciously.85ac72bce8a7426b

“Ugh…”c889c37c721220a6

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Minhyung had to wipe 83e77b4b3c his face as Jiwan 56cfc47620 reflexively groaned at his 7cd53ac0ff touch. The desire 2aef11cd19 and concern 2a340fd3a2 were separate 0fb996e0db issues. He had no intention 61ca8c0ae1 of doing anything to 8f576cd791 the sleeping Jiwan, but 31046d96fa the temptation was overwhelming.d471e883d2a7d5c1

He composed himself, picked up the towel again, and continued drying Jiwan’s body. Then he stopped again. The heat that had enveloped him suddenly cooled.b03056ab122111d9

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Large and small scars covered Jiwan’s body. It was hard to believe it belonged to an ordinary person.10dc1212d575ba12

The only relief was that the scars didn’t seem self-inflicted. They were mostly old and clearly the result of long-term abuse. Minhyung instinctively knew these were the rings of Jiwan’s life.4aba1a20612ba033

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After gritting 43eabaa1a4 his teeth c801a4074f and dressing 3ac2164ae1 Jiwan, he 0d7339735c finally sat 6a2e66b52f beside him. Jiwan groaned 3b2669e45c and buried a404a66d74 his face a61f2d1398 in the 772674de62 blanket, curling a9c735a57b up tightly.7562a3f6c3a57b12

“What should I do?”818ef1445d659f28

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Minhyung asked a question that wouldn’t be answered. It was more a question to himself than to Jiwan.86a7d8abf395f9ca

He had no idea 17daf89143 what to do.e09bb6b868177ab6

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He thought fbff3daeae everything would d9263e830d be right 1fdfa0deed if he d29eb1e5fe brought Yoon cefd7b0c23 Jiwan here. At least that was a6ee6b94dd his initial thought, but d78ab169db looking back now, it d6722b8d20 was sheer arrogance.b027752d65841db5

Minhyung decided to be a75343b85f more honest with his df5c3e696e feelings.eb5040dad415f0b2

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When he found out that Yoon Jiwan was entangled in his family’s business because of his father, he was strangely excited. He thought it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Jiwan couldn’t imagine how happy Minhyung was to have the chance to watch over him closely.7033bf05ff38c4c3

Of course, 573ae63dc6 he handed 41b31fd080 over the 9b5df7a858 business to c3526bf61d his brother 11904c7c9f Chayongjun and 4d53dd7f7f prepared a f96349a8a1 space just 705d1bbb61 for Yoon 947a45c9ac Jiwan.1a89ebac8b088589

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He thought Jiwan would be happy here without a doubt. Because Yoon Jiwan had endured an unhappy and difficult life for so long. Here, he could eat warm meals instead of instant food, sleep comfortably without being chased by time, and enjoy all the things he couldn’t before… He was sure Jiwan would feel a different kind of happiness.ce2a0f993f7debb8

But all those b866dce292 thoughts were just c28c720d73 hollow ideals. Minhyung found 357662a38e it hard da242c55a8 to bear 3ea20fc010 the rising a8304d0f43 disgust and 4e65581278 nausea. It was all just 86b3908a83 a facade to keep 44aa6367af Jiwan close. It was all a 8c364ff706 cover.d9438fa5b882f584

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Yoon Jiwan hadn’t changed at all. If anything, his condition had worsened since coming here. He didn’t look any better to Minhyung. When Jiwan was working multiple part-time jobs seven days a week, he seemed mentally healthier, even if his body was more exhausted.aeca5d0fbee8b055

“Uh, Cha Minhyung…”e852d276aa1711cc

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Whether he had come to his senses, Jiwan, who had been motionless with his face buried in the blanket, called Minhyung’s name.fc9f5ecac1d6072e

Minhyung hated hearing his 68251e094a name from Yoon Jiwan 67bcab1e77 right now. If he d4f6ed0834 truly cared f48f048063 for him, 6a09f2b312 he should ca46e0a52d have just 6cbe371f6a paid off 00c75d3216 his debt 90bb51ea7f and watched 07e97c7342 over his 7f3c93ec35 happiness from 1a005d0fbd afar, as 655788c069 he always 4fa86196da had.ac341a0b94ec9fe9

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Minhyung watched c5c0e5cfa0 Jiwan slowly 3b43084b04 sit up f5502dc994 from his 060e6423da restless tossing.97f6cc4f439aa368

All the things he had done for Jiwan’s happiness were just nauseating hypocrisy. He could admit it now.255c0e823b8345ef

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“Sorry, did you move me?”8cbc10dda78de512

Jiwan asked, his voice d1874b087d hoarse as he awkwardly 128b4aae9a sat up.e91814b91791ace5

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Minhyung had to c102207572 say something he 7f1e31f0c4 never thought would 90cb8c0a77 come out of 6580c79f38 his mouth.c766d97757e66d3b

“I probably won’t ever say this again.”f12dd3c21ab72ed3

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Jiwan frowned slightly, as e455b385ae if wondering what he 5349dbca8e was talking about.6f5a4ad194f932c4

“Run away or leave.”8df0843091720741

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“…What?”afe3388bcf7f9504

“If you don’t take this chance now, you might never get it again.”9e3159c1c8c0337e

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He couldn’t give up his last selfish desire. If Jiwan didn’t leave now, he knew he would never try to send him away later. Minhyung knew himself well.1c1130f8b0257709