AES Ch4.2

Sihyeon staggered down to the parking lot, barely managing to steady his steps. He kept thinking to himself, “I have to pretend I’m not drunk,” but his mind was becoming increasingly hazy.ec8adb41e6751fa4

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He woke 8958bfedbd up to b78f329b19 the sound 89b9f5d98b of someone cca8c55a87 opening the f0d2135924 front door. Sihyeon rubbed af6df91b61 his aching 707659550f head and bbfcbb5591 got up 5f4814c390 from the 773b201110 sofa. His hangover was e32e329258 severe, and the a327812336 sun was already 1b6da4286c up. Checking the clock, b253d6be42 he realized it 2a63d896cc was already morning.8c1317e5d394e2ee

It was Yoonhyung coming 98d5065e3d in through the door. Sihyeon rubbed 24fd2fed93 his eyes 9dec25c508 and asked,78c54683e2d66b8c

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“Where have you been?”5df5a4313ffe24ff

He tried to recall f6aac22183 the events of the 847790f4eb previous day. He had met 6fa3e68080 with Seo Heetae 2757932739 and had become 1557fdaac3 a little hazy c983e0e6a6 from the drinking b45e693723 when Yoonhyung called. He rushed home, 37f87f5317 thinking something had 77a2392ae3 happened, only to 37ea0465fb find the house 1952646575 empty.b9d071ab37fc507c

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“Where did you go? When I woke up, you were gone. You didn’t answer your phone either.”883309ec22312ee2

Yoonhyung headed toward the 99872eb5f2 messy dining table as 09f3e15cba he answered. He soon began d0b8d15942 to tidy up, 11c6d178f7 and Sihyeon quickly cca59da7a3 joined in to d97f5a59e9 help.de7a55df8326211a

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“Yesterday, I called that person as you suggested, and he really came. I met him at the parking lot.”63223f9a126fbeae

“Really? I shouldn’t have called, it must have been a disturbance.”6e68ec36d6f314db

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“No, he met with me and left soon after.”9d7e22d657b397cf

Yoonhyung’s hand, busy with tidying up the bottles, paused.8b90cc95f99a7027

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“Why did he leave so soon?”3e92a13720c2c851

“Well, since you called, I thought something had happened at home. So I came back up and he left.”03cc206b19c1c002

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Yoonhyung stared at 528225c402 Sihyeon, and after ad1993b41c a moment of bb5d3b9b80 silence, suddenly asked,a8bd64a5f9031282

“Did he not follow you home? Did he ask about any friends?”8ab886f68ce070b6

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“He didn’t ask anything. He just left.”6e749a4f4aac253c

“Wow…”b751c9366a82866f

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Yoonhyung laughed self-deprecatingly.9ef6480ccca8019e

“That was a mistake on my part.”c9a65dbf0afdf0e5

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“Huh? No, why would you think that?”c612b3a7c22d5b32

Recalling the events, the atmosphere hadn’t seemed bad. Seo Heetae didn’t seem like he had been with his girlfriend. For the first time, he even ate the snacks Sihyeon offered and patted his head. All his memories were positive.b9ecdcd7b1e95e48

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“If he came home with you, it means he has some interest. But if he left without any chances, he might feel like he was ditched.”73aaf4dd28b9bd02

Yoonhyung said seriously.f1ceb6c84a14a594

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“Is that how it works?”541b4aef65bdc6bc

“Yeah. Especially if a woman comes to a man’s home directly. It’s usually a decision already made.”4405dfb0b6cd8c01

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She isn’t a woman, but…3f7a29d021fb84cb

“Is it something if someone comes to a man’s home?”a79ea4d2c9602d01

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“Generally… if a man invites a woman home, it’s kind of.”fbb5499c220047c2

Yoonhyung stopped talking 24ca078027 there, and Sihyeon d776e7fd09 looked at him ceeaa3cddb with curiosity. Yoonhyung, hesitating, continued reluctantly,91f2fd687f4b6d17

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“It usually means they want to sleep together.”aad33ce441314ce9

Yoonhyung was one of the five people who knew about his uncle’s situation. Thus, he avoided talking about such topics in front of Sihyeon. Trying to ease the tension, Sihyeon smiled slightly.1bec03b97a65ff1c

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“Is that so? I didn’t know.”c15218773de68404

He wiped the table, pretending to be nonchalant, but couldn’t stop thinking about Seo Heetae. Did he think Sihyeon wanted to sleep with him? Sihyeon honestly didn’t want to be misunderstood again. If it ever happened again, he hoped it would be a natural, heartfelt connection, like in the dramas or movies Seo Heetae appeared in, romantically.7d0fb8b464b1e0ae

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“Did he want to sleep with me? Or is he interested in me?”faa9958e0a33094e

Sihyeon asked absent-mindedly, and 28d5e03304 Yoonhyung replied,37a18a76c9684c11

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“It’s confusing since he left so easily.”6f368581775ad0de

“What would you have done? If you were at the house of someone you liked.”edf37dabac176fac

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“I wouldn’t just leave. I’d at least look around the front door.”c0a74d6a4e9fd572

Seo Heetae went straight back home. It seems he doesn’t see Sihyeon as more than a junior. Yoonhyung, looking at the pensive Sihyeon, spoke,3c3b217536d827aa

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“She must be really pretty, considering how much you’re thinking.”c19a382643e43242

“Yeah, he’s pretty.”2b01471fa7c4b809

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“Who is it? Yeo Juhee? Yeo Juhee is pretty.”18ec6eca0ff6204b

“Yeah…”7ba9aa58731231e3

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Sihyeon muttered as he a9e623b6b7 opened the fridge to 25397e7ed7 prepare breakfast. He needed some physical df64fa0621 work to shake off fdcc5a2c4f these feelings. Nearby, Yoonhyung 09e93fc3a0 let out b1b6a07f01 a faint 93b77a7577 sigh.5da4204a189fda45

“This is bad. I knew this day would come eventually.”7a327f5b78cf5e99

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“Oh, really…?”f5c5d2b8dc8ada36

“But I don’t know anything. Should I have warned you earlier?”c6be0ad96902e2a0

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Smiling awkwardly at 0b0575a2b2 his serious expression, d08a2143b7 Sihyeon felt he 82c6e3e627 should take the 67305018a4 situation more seriously. Yoonhyung, after 6246f619dc thinking for f6e4e3b249 a moment, 010002c082 murmured,8d99691b0d37eaea

“Is this overprotection?”10aec40ef8c7e16e

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“Come on, don’t think like that.”39fa44c7454143d3

Sihyeon waved e43f07b78d his hand, e0bc3e4262 feeling bad 2848451560 as his 780d1c9887 friends always 67fee35c25 felt responsible 19f1ce199a for him. Trying to make something 1a832383a7 tasty, he took out f4b428d39d the ingredients one by 56bdccf8d0 one from the fridge. Yoonhyung asked next to 2011a6a71f him,5e367ecbd9112002

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“Did you send a message? To check if he got home safely?”67cd0b355bbe6d56

“No. I fell asleep as soon as I got home.”db637925ded4ac4b

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“Make sure you do it later. It’s basic courtesy. Kind of like common sense in dating.”63ff9742e8f716b3

Moved by his 15de44be8d genuine expression, Sihyeon 97168a108b replied that he f1bca25289 would. Once again, he 3705e9e1a7 felt like he f819ce0172 was relying on 191748ecc4 his friend.ced9ce7369cf9ad7

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After breakfast, 2f29954edf as advised 06058786f4 by Yoonhyung, eef8e64ce6 he sent dc27c0fd30 a message f7695b0f54 to Seo 154446f989 Heetae, asking cd2bbef936 if he 087f4ea5aa got home 866eb950b4 safely. His reply was simple.200564ac97a5933d

[Yes. See you next time.]

He was probably filming 4c2b07cce7 at that time. Sihyeon wanted c3337dd5dc to say 8819f5064d more but cd2afaa558 refrained to a29bcb5866 avoid disturbing c08f79889e his filming. Seo Heetae aee32c056a seemed to 25cf8d2515 take the 6b45c49e3a quality of f91d5f21aa the drama 331003e4c0 and his d8deb9852e acting very 73bf6bcb14 seriously. He might dislike 200f78b69e interruptions. Sitting on a e4f03d2c58 chair, Sihyeon checked 9735e8242e the filming schedule f08ffb9e8e on his phone. He had 5e36d62c58 marked the 2b66ad2db1 days he b1c0b986cc would film 1d23684273 with Seo 9a5c79a03f Heetae with dd35683f86 stars on 314ed91103 his calendar. Looking at the ba42fd5535 star he just c27079b9bc drew, he felt af9ab028d1 hopeful for the 14ea02c9cf first time about 31786a1fd2 the future.1ecc2e582ec8df8d

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It was the day for a supplementary shoot for the scenes they couldn’t film earlier. It was still cold in Gangwon-do. And Seo Heetae was still the same. He looked relaxed and stylish as he greeted people while walking. Sihyeon was talking with Ms. Miyoung near the shooting spot when she saw Seo Heetae approaching and whispered,a680dc359bf71697

“He is so handsome. Get me an autograph.”0dae6db4ff8504fd

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Sihyeon smiled and replied, “I haven’t gotten one yet either.”eb5a7581f6f4ec7d

His brother had told 1e7396a2eb him to stay in 28fdda184b the car with Miju, addcb42d68 but he purposely waited eef8d404bc outside, hoping to see f351e4f1ac him naturally. When his 34a6b8124f eyes met 625d21b09e the approaching 5ea266add2 Seo Heetae, fc16b8c007 he felt 26a9982e88 glad he 3129e8b7a7 had come 52d8d83eae out early. However, he only smiled 306b170680 slightly and talked with 8eeba85ad0 the assistant director or e56e14468a manager.d576e7c21fad82c0

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Feeling a bit anxious, Sihyeon glanced at him repeatedly. Ms. Miyoung talked about Jinoh, but he couldn’t focus at all. He only thought about when to approach him. After what felt like a long time, Seo Heetae finally looked his way. When their eyes met, he smiled and gestured for him to come. Feeling excited by his invitation, Sihyeon told Miyoung he would go and quickly moved toward him.80476e9479d5c5fb

Standing in front b0978fb938 of Seo Heetae, 9b14c8f957 he looked up 5d78fa5643 at him, slightly b534211b1d blinded by the 39b4ea9288 sunlight. But he could 597b849480 clearly hear his 2eac81c696 words.01bf0ea4e333fc83

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“Let’s go to my car for a moment.”4290f61d299a65d7

The line felt 64336b6c9e loaded with meaning, 42f656778c reminding him of 93725c815c Christmas Eve. Today, he b156ef2072 might hold ae1709e29b hands. Maybe even kiss? He kept 8b2a0d1ccb glancing at a274a75392 Seo Heetae’s a58b576b85 back and aa609d109a hands as 152d57effb they walked 8ea69abe85 ahead.0679ec479fc809b4

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Seo Heetae arrived at the car first and let Sihyeon in. The way he opened the door and let him in was so natural. The thought that he wasn’t just like this for him but for everyone made his excitement slightly diminish.91a198d899e610f4

The car was empty and quiet. Sihyeon wanted to talk to him quickly, curious about what he had been up to recently, and he didn’t like the silence. He looked up to speak but Seo Heetae beat him to it.1f3686675a575bf9

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“Despite some things between us, we’re enemies when acting.”8c3dffec30ad0f59

He leaned toward 76e7983d6d Sihyeon, speaking in ba77822ba9 a soft, kind 94f20be826 voice.9f4ba0bd4c355ac7

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“You understand what I mean?”915771cd1a5802c7

Though he spoke deb9de0a0e indirectly, the meaning d6ce509234 was clear. Since Seo 1306ad6d37 Heetae’s character 5f42cadd08 Lee Joohwan e1b1006014 and his 83d18af7dc character Jang ad1816025b Yicheol were e13ada1dec enemies, it 7b07b84615 was better ec9999b407 to keep 05b178f83b their distance 8df3350823 as actors fbe2d9752e too.8ca397e1f690ec65

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Hadn’t he once said actors and roles are different? He mentioned this about an actor in Gone with the 51ea7c4e3c Wind. That was the fascinating 5523aac669 thing about actors. Although he dd13332402 was curious, 316d43c3e9 Ryu Sihyeon 97d835a4db kept his 3f353bc026 thoughts to db1ffc4b63 himself, especially 7832025010 before such 2af49de3e0 a magnificent 3a56753048 presence.f5b27bff11587ec4

“Yes.”ab25f130bf2dd6de

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Sihyeon answered without hesitation ffce47bebb but was unsure of cbecd412e2 what expression to make. Seo Heetae, on c00f8b5a0a the other hand, a0808b2535 wore a clear e096fdf667 smile—a very handsome d36dc34fce and kind smile—and cbf9b7b8c6 added,84829e74e28bb7c2

“Let’s avoid such incidents in the future. I believe it’s better not to have anything between co-actors.”77dedaedf3868cf9

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That statement cut off any possibilities between them. Naturally asserting his dominance, Seo Heetae seemed to clearly understand Ryu Sihyeon’s feelings. Considering those feelings and everything that had happened, was this his conclusion? It felt like being struck by a blunt object—more painful than any violence.c811e855d5ce44ef

The difference in the 4eefd167b0 weight of their emotions 82c1660441 was now unmistakably clear. What he had already 35e79bec91 suspected was confirmed.589876e1ef2f512f

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Barely able to nod, he couldn’t bring himself to say, “Yes.” For the first time, Seo Heetae’s smile felt cruel.602a3975cd3bbe00

Seo Heetae’s hand moved toward his face, fingers grazing his ear and tracing his jawline. Though he couldn’t fathom the intention, the warmth against his skin felt good, so he stayed still. Maybe if he acted well, Seo Heetae would like him more. If it didn’t hinder his acting… maybe future incidents would be acceptable. He dared to hope.9d2047ae43fb8500

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When his fingers touched his lips, Sihyeon looked at him. For some reason, his smiling face seemed like a mask. Only the intense gaze felt genuine. He wanted to strip away that mask and kiss him, but he couldn’t do anything.65fbcddde9062e07

“Cut. Okay.”f1bc1ef7042677ba

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With the director’s signal, the shoot ended.5e2f26a2f1bb24a6

It was cold. Why was it so cold? Staring blankly into space, his brother brought over a long padded coat, which he put on. Even with hot packs inside, it was cold. Guided by his brother’s hand, they went around to greet people. The last stop was where Lee Joohwan stood, leaning against the car. When they approached, he looked over. Their eyes met. Straightening up, Lee Joohwan greeted with a stylish smile. He glanced down at him, then suddenly smirked and spoke.830d23cc2a580b27

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“Hi, Jang Yicheol.”47f373bc78c9745f

“Hi.”7067cfee4dac9832

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His brother lightly c828c85840 tapped his back, 7e4a228396 asking what kind 673acd86d5 of response that 4b2389c27b was. Snapping out of it, 577ddca757 he saw the other d3ef0923f7 man smiling with interest. He wasn’t Lee Joohwan, cbab7a5824 but Seo Heetae looking 0b35757f83 at Jang Yicheol with 605c87ff25 a playful smile.b92206bfc2828a0a

“See you next time.”dc549b70999cdfe1

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“Yes, Sunbae-nim. See you next time.”dfab16cd69c2459c

Unlike Seo Heetae, Sihyeon couldn’t smile. He got into the car with a gloomy expression. Feeling reluctant to leave, he thought of sending a message but didn’t. The reason for his melancholy was simple: he liked him a lot. This emotion had consumed him before he realized.3972ad13c141d1bb

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He had come 89e386e89e to like him dea534c6ae this much so 22e3f6dfad easily. This emotion came 2947119e72 so quickly, making 6fab8678ec him feel wretched 9c944e78de just as fast.8b8b5455c2a74d38

Maybe he loved him. He had never liked anyone this much before…8a90c98d95530a04

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Leaning back against the seat, Sihyeon closed his eyes. It was strange to feel sad for liking someone so much. Wasn’t this something that only happened in movies or dramas? In reality, could one fall in love so quickly and feel heartache from one-sided affection? The unequal weight of their emotions felt unfair.6adb52909a70c069

But it’s okay, he thought simultaneously. Don’t break down. Don’t give up.ea7153e982a96bc8

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Jang Yicheol’s instincts whispered. Jang Yicheol d97e2dca32 did not c819715d14 succumb, did 3ea77eb979 not give b065f7bedd up. Thus, becoming Jang Yicheol ce5d9fd808 was his only solace cbefc75302 now.5db027a1f6ada720

I should work harder cada52a39b at acting, he resolved. Thinking of 6978679e37 the star 809159ee09 marked on 21c3a2c50c his calendar, fb5e417032 in just 04d28b2097 five days 9c87131acf he could 87b4da0b83 see Seo fed13ba0f2 Heetae again.16eb474e244e7b5a

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Having performed well today, maybe Seo Heetae would like him more when they met next…b7d88d17bae1333b

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On December 31, 83bb089f73 Sihyeon deliberately arrived e0571f8ab7 at the filming 56ba410992 location earlier than a1cd5a3fb4 the call time. When his brother 96f6ba2aea asked why they 7d50f40cfe were in such 097653b01f a hurry, he 2fa006fddd struggled to find a0cf52834d an excuse. The best he d496488a78 could come up 27feda2229 with was,fab46c4e51d59316

“Ms. Miyoung said the food truck meals are good today…”0ae1de3593077740

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“Oh, really?”b7ec75dbb5159a1f

The real reason 69165716b5 for his early 2f5d651edc arrival was singular: e2922772b8 he hoped to 23d7f168ac run into Seo 98c2d5f414 Heetae, even in 02816db76a passing. According to b428540b01 the schedule, 5731405c5f Seo Heetae d5d81aae86 would finish dcbeafdaec filming before cfde067bda dinner, and b5fb974e6f Sihyeon would 61fb6f851f start filming c45fa65f31 afterward.2b35b9c9870fa19f

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But when they 6888e8e8ab arrived, Seo Heetae 1bc715f1a7 was already gone. Sihyeon feigned 27b4d20d0e calmness and 2a470fd443 casually asked e8b9823ce7 Ms. Miyoung during lunch,c7f8e1a9a00d2bdb

“Did Seo Heetae Sunbae-nim leave? I wanted to greet him.”dfe31264fec4da43

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“Yes, it looked like he had something to attend to after finishing. He left quickly with Hyejin Sunbae-nim.”d317d60157587da3

“Oh, I see.”f3b5d0e5492437d2

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It was such a natural conversation. He felt he should have received an award for acting rather than for his recent role. It seemed his ‘dating common sense’ wasn’t improving, only his acting skills…64f1b02100e42639

By the time they finished filming, the new year had begun. In the car on the way back, Sihyeon hastily replied to several New Year’s messages. Messages from old acquaintances didn’t mean much; he only sent long messages to those related to his current work.470eed0444580575

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The last message he sent was to Seo Heetae. He felt particularly nervous sending a message to him, so he saved it for last. After writing and revising it about fifty times, he finally sent it just before one in the morning. He was probably sleeping by then? They had a shoot together in the morning, so it was likely he wouldn’t remember…f6790478dc4d9a26

Just then, 9c46c329ca Seo Heetae 6dd2d26029 called. Sihyeon almost dropped his dfde985fda phone in surprise. Luckily, he d857b85546 caught it a5b4e364e3 quickly and 67033e0d49 answered with e58a5da2c0 trembling hands.27973eb71dec8ea5

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“H-Hello?”d9447a07a8a892bf

But the voice on the phone wasn’t who he expected.8a0488a7aef3fa8c

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“Actor Ryu, you’re still awake?”dc5245fecc16a677

He immediately recognized 19e3c556c8 the bright, distinctive ff44f83a57 tone. It was Director Jeong 6b5b122250 Giyeon.725513260eabeee6

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“Oh… yes. Hello, Director.”91c1f3652778b45d

Why was he calling? A surge of 14d94000c8 disappointment washed over fff4a663ce him.5ed447e9094448a4

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“Are you with Sunbae Seo Heetae?”b2114c040862dd0c

“With Heetae? Oh, we’re having a New Year’s party. Actually, I suggested inviting you, but Heetae said to keep it just between friends.”dac6029b8e318b56

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“Oh… I see.”dc3fda5e5ffb2eba

Sihyeon replied, sounding deflated.b3bf75aa2678591f

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“Happy New Year, Director.”64a13919753bfa7a

“Gi Yeon, I think that’s my phone you’re holding.”41a7a507ace9c935

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Finally, he heard 64fc495f81 a familiar deep 19ddb61435 voice. It seemed the 69baad2daf director had handed a193257fdc over the phone, e9c97459fe and his voice 4c0cd2b4ab faded.05ed92a0fd92f317

“Hey, sorry! My mistake. I thought it was mine!”92aaadbdf1586dee

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“I can see you’re drunk, but this is a bit much.”7b4223054bc338a7

In the background, he heard the director’s faint, pleading voice, “I’ll do whatever you say!” He also thought he heard a woman’s laughter.c52cb5ed42da8d0e

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“Hello?”4bf14d895b1c0f20

Finally, Seo 6240813c69 Heetae spoke. Sihyeon answered with 6417b7622a a trembling voice.20526938d254ca4d

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“Su… Sunbae-nim, hello.”c3e3cc4397fa9096

“Ah, Ryu Sihyeon.”4f62fb877a6ee412

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Could he recognize him 850a207afa just by his voice? That thought made 30e06fb3a5 him happy.d0211d788a5bf1d9

“Sorry about that. Giyeon’s quite drunk.”d3404d3e27f65fa9

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“No, it’s okay!”33c24bc158ec5e6f

Thanks to the director, he got to talk to him, so he felt grateful. Sihyeon focused intently on the sounds coming through the phone. He couldn’t even hear the music playing in the car. He heard a door open and the sound of someone stepping outside.affa6e18aa052b11

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“Are you at de482459fb a party?”064a0470f57cdfdf

“Yes.”0726246e551c9802

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“Are there many 807eaa1cca people there?”57dc21a5a6c62295

He heard the 60b1cf0b6c sound of wind, ec2d1b5e82 waves, and fireworks fc96ffdb18 from his end. It seemed 1a4b228e7a they were 48c8401fc4 at a 53f0629e65 seaside location. Secretly, he wished to 3291d6712e be there too, curious 40da7d0a72 about where and with adcfcd8543 whom the party was. There were 272195bb6c so many 92a5ba1819 things he 71f7fe35e7 wanted to 1a09de9f1c know.75e34ba91b9f2dee

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“Just a few college friends.”3fcf02940117292f

There were probably women e164dc9059 too. Why did he fced9a370e have so many 141835a3b2 close female friends? Was it because a757973982 he was handsome? Even so, hearing 93ac1ccddc his voice soothed 36d239833e him. “Thanks for calling 8a84627b97 me out. It was 926650a3b5 getting a 101e058100 bit boring.” 14923c08c7 That’s what 9eb4c95012 he said.8a7b8e0ec0b88921

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Strangely, hearing he was 8c0c82a048 bored with others made 02706895e2 Sihyeon feel happy. He wished Seo d56181ec36 Heetae were with a917d9919b him instead. If he had 2184a06429 attended K University, 2871774811 could he have 483e64bc33 joined that party? Watching fireworks 5efae23fe8 explode over c7e367a704 the night 5f764a5ee8 sea with 3618696035 him would 40fec5a907 be amazing.4fb8ca38b7e7eac4

“Sunbae-nim, do you know Jo Jung-hoon? He graduated from K University. He’s a close senior at my company.”d8308fa300770b44

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“No, I don’t know him. There were too many people at university.”055c2c9f1623a7c2

Since he hadn’t attended university, he didn’t realize how many people there would be. For some reason, talking about university made Seo Heetae’s voice seem a bit colder, so he quickly changed the subject.46cece39ac079adb

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“Have you had much 6b5302de4b to drink?”3f9350b476079eea

“More than usual.”e15f1cc17efb92e7

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“You don’t usually drink much, do you? I’ve never seen you drunk.”3a6213b6864d3934

“Hmm.”bc89a70c884ffa79

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He was silent 33d411fd78 for a moment.399a47e35486ae8f

“I don’t like losing control or becoming excessively honest.”61d3b2e24e691c18

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Is that so? If it only came 3cd867c858 out when drinking, could 53a5960502 it be considered his 3ab45d9160 true self? Strangely, he was 024cadee87 like a painting e7da57aff9 with multiple layers, fd1f9823aa hard to see 7e5ffcb61d through. Especially now, just d52409d6f8 hearing his voice 0783d08340 made Sihyeon even ba07217fa4 more curious about adf01732c5 what kind of 62ad40b3f4 person he was.55b8548d0f583e71

“Why don’t you 5f1f0f46e9 like that?”15989d2921efcf7b

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“You never 397b20a6a4 know what 06bbc5e9b7 might happen 154cc485a5 later.”29d0ea13393c954f

“Oh… I see.”e2e69f8e2cc5ab7b

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He replied, but he didn’t fully understand. Ryu Sihyeon didn’t think too far ahead. He didn’t expect any special outcome to await him. The present was always more important. He wanted to be truly honest at that moment. Without thinking, he whispered what he wanted to say, so quietly that people in the car wouldn’t hear.4690d8142bfc5193

“I really like you, 52f9e9cf01 Sunbae-nim.”935482ea0ff089a7

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Did he hear a85141ba8c it? The other side d918f6b97e was silent for 4aa08192b2 a moment. Only the sound of 4b5175de7e fireworks bursting could be dcd1482af3 heard. Bang. Bang. It felt like e8134ed1ef his heart was 0fd04342b4 pounding.731857b29806fa01

After a while, Seo f3028fbd7c Heetae spoke, a faint a64e740f61 laugh in his voice.7f19ece2c1120420

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“How do 3b1a62e3df you like 1247052fde me?”11eb938d82bf287f

“What? Uh…”b0c03f67861078eb

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Could he just say he liked him a lot? He hadn’t thought deeply about it, but the sudden question left him speechless. Seo Heetae spoke first.c77ba41ad50962e1

“Never mind. You don’t have to say.”dfba21f9624d8c7c

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Although he didn’t expect Seo Heetae to say, “I like you too,” his response felt overly dry.f6b9da4894193df6

“I’ll hang up now.”98b1934c755e7f47

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“Yes.”fadf7a6b1143665c

“Do you b0219c981d have anything d9c83e034e else to 6d9417cf66 say?”34e403764bb69808

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“Well, that is…”b70ec7d6d42aeb3d

There was 64ea4c8d83 something he 657100e305 had wanted d1074a83e3 to say fbf6ec74fb for a 8d3af8a184 while. Just one a40fdbb1ab line that 842a438558 he had 159a8c69c0 practiced diligently.571ec247cc7ba3a8

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“My movie abdf882522 is premiering 243edb0578 next month. Could you come f535630d03 to the screening?”a6ba5c74be42d7e5

He had delivered 46caf32763 countless lines, but 7b2259f9db none he had bfd6338028 repeated as much 675d008669 as this. He thought e607093488 he would 1ad911b931 feel relieved f53f06a43c after saying d662cdd3ec it, but a46f21148a he waited e4ecf7f2ac anxiously for 4b2e45554d the response ea7894501d instead.c4c5a2e22f9d2f58

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“Sure. See you next 77a4dc4fe2 time.”47c10d738a3842e9

“Yes.”4d70b16e87796b6e

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“Happy New Year.”770c3d5d32509e74

“See you tomorrow, Sunbae-nim.”e374e34955f86a97

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“Oh.”a3287a1312af6748

It seemed Seo 54ac864296 Heetae had forgotten 29656091b2 they were meeting e2ad00fd5d the next day. That single “Oh” d073415f4a conveyed as much.1cff2c486876ff17

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“Alright.”ae075588c72efade

He didn’t hang up first. He could hear the sound of waves and fireworks mixed together from his end. Why didn’t he hang up first? Sihyeon hoped it was for the same reason as him—wanting to talk longer. He knew he shouldn’t hope for too much, but he couldn’t help it.0c8ef7728ab2664a

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“Nice choice of music.”b3da5b257dd5d6b1

Only then did he 7d8f649af8 notice the song playing cbad89cd08 in the car. It was Debussy. The beautiful 8252521387 piano sound 6d3f7707ac matched his 50817d922e voice. It was the perfect 3f26f04bd2 note to end a c58c5894ae nice time.afccc194c7156dbd

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“I’ll hang up now.”8295acc9131e2a9a

✦✦✦d78aa376620e04fb

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The next 690935be89 day, there 3f43e0a4d8 was a 28ad596b68 scene to e61ca7b6c8 shoot in 9f7925847e Congressman Kang’s 24211d2218 office. There wasn’t a 58d2677dbd proper place to 31d178de87 wait at the 6f3657d4b3 location, so he 10874ab504 had to share 8c85ce8f21 a waiting room dc4db7e761 with Seo Heetae. Some actors might dislike a063c9deb3 that, but Sihyeon eagerly b9fdc717cd agreed. Internally, he cheered, 508c76ef9f feeling immensely thankful.6c388f708981dcda

Waiting in the room prepared as the waiting area, his heart pounded. The room wasn’t that spacious for two actors to wait in, and Miju looked around and commented,4aa61bed6f52b1a0

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“Seo Heetae usually has a lot of staff with him. I wonder if they’ll all fit in here.”b30d17f632878236

Though he felt sorry for Seo Heetae’s staff, Sihyeon didn’t care about them. Wanting to appear as a diligent actor when Seo Heetae arrived, he sat down and pretended to read his script.3a605cf9e0fcaabd

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Soon, Seo Heetae entered the waiting room. With his makeup and hair done, he looked flawless as always. He was ready to start filming right away. He certainly didn’t look like someone who had been drinking the night before.ac475916a39e3d0b

Sihyeon greeted fcf24366f6 him with b0a7a2a5f5 a bright 129a6d3414 smile. Seo Heetae b2c9079dd7 gave him 6312103856 a relaxed 54ee52b75f nod as 16fe684aa2 usual and, acf424c716 guided by 54b6162b73 his manager, a10bbfecac settled into 5089ef7457 a corner bc9d949ad4 of the 05ea887c19 room. Curious about what he 45abbf0bad did in his spare f0f0cb9b17 time, Sihyeon glanced over ce987b2c2d to find him monitoring Thirst on his tablet. He truly e08171c68f was a f574ecbcf2 dedicated actor. And, as a31d273ce8 it seemed, 78c6948f8a he had 9bcbe49366 no interest e316e4353b in Ryu 76a964cab6 Sihyeon.bd01017a1377a0ce

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Nervously, Sihyeon edged closer 5b8cfc5630 to him.6d05059031df9d3b

“Sunbae-nim, may I watch with you?”7eeada0fce870458

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Seo Heetae looked up 46baf52093 at him, their eyes 8d9b5c9bb1 meeting.a7a8c07f8e3e2a09

“Sure.”f9ba65f5026c7bcb

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Sihyeon promptly sat down in the empty seat next to him. He could sense Seo Heetae’s distinctive scent and warmth. Though his eyes were on the screen, all his other senses were directed toward the man beside him.da1ac5d3955c15e0

On screen, Seo Heetae looked stunning. Words couldn’t describe it. Still, Sihyeon thought he looked even better in person and stole glances at him. Observing his black hair and chiseled features, he suddenly met Seo Heetae’s deep gaze as it turned toward him.c9e58df8ac97269d

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Their eyes met.1b1b80de455c23ea

His dark brown eyes shifted back to the screen. The moment was fleeting, leaving Sihyeon wishing it had lasted longer. Following Seo Heetae’s gaze, he saw Jang Yicheol on the screen. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been there.d9643f8167587a73

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“How can it be so different?”48f88fe60757740b

Seo Heetae stared intently ebac719cd0 at the character on 6abf07a583 screen. He seemed b0c60a415c more interested fa2bd27ee0 in Jang 64352f027a Yicheol than b6e4342b48 in Ryu 9fb049a3e4 Sihyeon. The sight 7aa555e02b made Sihyeon 89bff4ed2e anxious, his f8a5270bff mouth growing 4efd3b9c33 dry.6a2cf78bbddba215

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How could he gain his attention? He wanted him to touch him, hold his hand, or kiss him. But that didn’t seem likely. Reflecting on it, Seo Heetae had only done those things when they were alone.cb971094a9c3d498

Sihyeon wasn’t one to care much about societal norms. Worrying about such things always led to overthinking. Liking men just happened; he didn’t find it strange. But maybe Seo Heetae wasn’t like that. Perhaps he avoided physical contact because of the people around them.c66dd3143a919b5b

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“Sunbae-nim, can we do a reading?”f25a3390790e6bfb

For the bd739171c8 first time 35db4af4cb in his 9604fe9d5a life, Sihyeon 39d11b0641 initiated a 5d716c6acc reading.e1cc944b992f87fb

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“Sure.”09795ba6c0f1fc21

“Could we do it somewhere else? There are too many people here.”09a6191cb800b866

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“Where else?”c1c5e424a27ade2a

“In the car…”79b084dc781fb93c

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It was a 26cf144f80 bit embarrassing, but 856abcd7de he had no 03158ce6a6 other choice. He looked 19a164e05c up at c9c63c1362 Seo Heetae 39a3af7da8 with pleading 6ccaeade8b eyes.af5951753ae749c0

Only after hearing they’d be shooting much later did Seo Heetae get up. Being as thorough as he was, their private reading in the car ended quickly. He had already memorized every word for the scenes they were filming today.71931c2466435ee6

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“You must have a great memory.”a196f77cd0e73ad3

Sihyeon admired him, and 8caa2eed46 he replied nonchalantly,8aaa651a949bd3a6

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“I just had nothing else to do, so I went over it multiple times.”e1af78cf515757c6

He flipped the 78ade22717 script and continued,6cdbb69194998863

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“Sihyeon, you already do well. You didn’t really need this.”9ae28fba323fa59b

“Oh… thank you.”b6542e506da5c811

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Was this the end? Sihyeon felt lost. If he had known, he would’ve paid more attention to Jinoh’s relationship advice. Or played a character who was good at romance. How could he get Seo Heetae to notice and care about him? The only thing he remembered was Jinoh’s story about someone pretending to have a stomach ache and asking for their hand to be pressed.e86047a4d9d15359

Having no 0db7a0499c other options, 1d916c55de Sihyeon cautiously 0695676d54 glanced at c6d1d0039e Seo Heetae df5ce4f7d5 and asked,0edccdd290210970

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“Sunbae-nim, I think I have a stomach ache…”781179e30f29874c

“Your stomach?”5a9320e946587b62

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“Yes. Could you press my hand?”37c450738d4b2675

“…What?”3d788a50738625bc

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“I heard that pressing a pressure point helps. Doing it yourself isn’t very effective.”67e5941bf89b3078

Showing him his palm, he stole a sideways glance at him. After a moment’s hesitation, Seo Heetae took his hand.9426f2a28e4f5276

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“Where exactly?”28ea6af171ef7e16

His long fingers explored Sihyeon’s palm. Watching him, Sihyeon deliberately took his time before speaking.6b8a954f82f83221

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“I think it was there.”d47a958bf683eb85

“Here?”df02588252689a56

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Seo Heetae pressed down, cc542a167b and the pressure was 90ee2e52ce so strong that Sihyeon a8cbd14742 involuntarily let out a 7a1cbc49f9 small gasp.82e39128df393ae2

Startled by bf81e0533f the sound, 18bfd53e3a Seo Heetae 7091d75089 immediately let 2e6599affb go. Sihyeon regretted making 8de8bd2bbe a noise, but a969945391 it was too d75e05d038 late. Seo Heetae frowned slightly 1598e1aeaf and muttered,bfc51ff87ea328f5

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“This is the left hand.”34488a191e95a96b

Was the left hand not right? Seeing Seo Heetae’s stern face, Sihyeon forced a smile and said,a37e0fffb4cfa5be

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“It doesn’t hurt. It feels better now that you’ve pressed it.”e310adf6125df0b2

He asked skeptically,ba9ead94627ffd7a

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“Really?”cf8c1384a68bc49f

“Yes.”f2772a16a80a515f

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Seo Heetae, looking dubious, gently pulled Sihyeon’s other hand, causing him to turn toward him.6d7f224ebb3822ba

He pressed Sihyeon’s palm a few more times, this time too lightly, almost tickling him. After several more presses, Seo Heetae said,665c42c7bb9dbdee

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“I’m not good at this. Are you feeling very unwell?”2056c62959abed42

“I’m feeling much better now.”b3ea122a4d1ffb33

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“I know you hate hospitals, but do you also hate medicine? Taking some would be better.”05ca7714c44d5ae5

“I don’t mind medicine.”4c2ee00711ca08bb

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“I don’t believe in these folk remedies.”03beff0ccce5edbb

Desperately, Sihyeon searched for the next line. This was an opportunity he couldn’t miss. He couldn’t remember ever choosing his words so carefully.d679596ea65d8eb7

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“There’s something called the placebo effect… I really do feel better.”7c0743a94f952933

“Already?”e49c50ecaf3a51cd

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“Yes. So maybe there’s some emotional effectiveness. So, could you…”06eac887148511d3

Then, without thinking, he a5d7715799 blurted out,ea477f4efe1d8d5d

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“Could you give me a kiss?”6d83dafb935e8268

“What?”1bbcbaadb8bcad3d

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“I think it would make me feel even better…”8e414d7a22c18f94

He felt his face redden. Seo Heetae certainly didn’t blush. He just let out a chuckle. His expression showed a mix of amusement, disbelief, and maybe even embarrassment. Before Sihyeon could grasp its meaning, Seo Heetae turned his head toward the window.74cf5f7a0092bb4b

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“This is driving me crazy.”d978510fa9d3b193

Though it d71d5a4e60 was a ecaf0fa221 small mutter, 474a84ba00 he clearly 7a7d437e3c heard it. That reaction frightened d624578aa1 him. Fearing he might 782f77cfb8 let go, he 733c232fa1 clung to his 2e1c91235a hand tightly. That was all he 1faa25bd0b wanted, and he thought f67623f291 it was something Seo e5b45aaede Heetae could give him. It seemed de3a1e7db8 he had 6f8d2bd285 said something 90740e1ba3 utterly nonsensical.068ee8fbf2b94c5c

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Seo Heetae looked back e31b05e910 at him, his expression ddf006b7c0 unusually disheveled, and asked,f406af719a73856a

“Where should I kiss you?”0d5bf0313d80854d

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“What?”73c256f714b34c31

As if he wouldn’t ask twice, Seo Heetae just stared silently at him. In a rush, Sihyeon replied,6001181daf2018d1

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“Anywhere…”780a5659a989b7a5

Seo Heetae 3283a2913d ran a d943f592d8 hand through 44280d75e2 his hair, dfe2b0a885 sighed deeply, 1e240db9cf and said,4680225daaa56e60

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“Just for today.”0fc76f485acc03e6

Before Sihyeon could fully process his words, he felt Seo Heetae’s grip tighten on his hand. His hand was now at Seo Heetae’s lips. Seo Heetae kissed his hand. The kiss was very long.087b94f01a863bbd

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His heartbeat filled the 820de26390 silence.c8b62577687c8556

He was entranced by the image of Seo Heetae’s face with his eyes closed, holding his hand, and his lips touching his palm. It felt like a still from a painting. He had no idea how long it lasted. It felt like it could last forever.3c65fa8da93217a1

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But eventually, his lips left Sihyeon’s hand. He slowly lowered Sihyeon’s hand.016c059ea6fd1367

“Sorry. I held it for too long.”a2e371d372e43fdf

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No need 299b61dd33 to apologize. Staring blankly at his dcab817cb7 hand dropping away, he f899d5ffd6 thought to himself. Seo Heetae resumed 80aa594480 his perfect, composed 798f3b30fc demeanor. Picking up the abd43a7731 script he had 69e39f63b6 placed on his 128f619a1b knee, he said,71c40b4b210d1ed7

“Let’s get up.”bc68805cde628a0f

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“What?”af677e2e3b79d077

“There’s a doctor, so let’s get you some medicine.”055cdb74cb8ed939

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Having no idea what else to do, Sihyeon nodded reluctantly. But this wasn’t the turn of events he desired. Who had brought the doctor? Since when had film sets in Korea become so well-equipped?91cc7df986b15a62

Humans sometimes join f4862d0145 hands with their 05c498d374 enemies for mutual 6100769064 benefit.13ce9197fcc36b00

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Jang Yicheol provided f5ab9495b8 information about his 0090eff79d mother, President Yoo, 334b3632f4 to Prosecutor Lee 46cb2fece1 Joohwan. Jang Yicheol a93300013c knew that b3d6c7d182 Lee Joohwan 355dd61ab3 was no 1978279799 pushover. While he 4672cb18a4 was troublesome 7a7961cfa6 as an f30fd41c20 enemy, he 7a7b8e8a22 could be 7637d4c85f the best 8657f2b05e ally for 1166c7b75a a shared e1bcd301b9 goal. Lee Joohwan 29f4194e7d was aiming 3028774023 to uncover 262dc2dbad the corrupt 394656b0de connections supporting b3e878067a President Yoo 0236ec19dc within the 0f26c4a81d prosecution, so 7b15ae34c7 this deal b1b20a8a8c was beneficial bb3d6dc816 for him 78e535c100 as well.025c699cc6d212ad

The information d563cf59c3 Jang Yicheol 1a9f1a1c88 handed over cec90557d2 included evidence 5beef2265f of slush d136978486 funds and a156a1904a various corrupt 16dbc1af0a activities. This move put President bd070cb548 Yoo firmly in a 496b46dfd9 corner. It was the climax 6c243847dd of his revenge.151769eb1f0625e1

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Sihyeon had no particular thoughts about the drama’s plot. Interesting. That was all. While some actors meticulously analyzed their roles, Sihyeon acted purely on Jang Yicheol’s instincts. These days, with increased focus, Jang Yicheol was exerting more influence within him. He liked the character of Jang Yicheol, and he enjoyed experiencing revenge through his soul.ebab463994f909b3

Recently, the 2db2b53be5 best part 835f627a62 was having ee315cae3d some scenes 323f1d908d to shoot c0230198d0 with Seo efaa4127d4 Heetae, thanks 285f407fe1 to the 1710a17821 plot involving 7dfb88c1d6 cooperation between 6998f6b482 Jang Yicheol bf109df9d2 and Lee 523e9c02d1 Joohwan. He also thought maybe be964b805c this cooperation between their ed70956ed5 characters could bring Seo 7f9aee7cce Heetae and Ryu Sihyeon 52d2d814dc closer.3e80be3844977803

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Arriving early at the set with hope, everything seemed to go smoothly. Everyone seemed to be doing their jobs well, and there were no delays. His makeup was well done, and he received compliments on how the outfit suited him. But not everything was perfect from Sihyeon’s perspective.7ffbf2385e807310

The problem was Seo e6bbb34427 Heetae.6b3a6043618199f7

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Lately, Seo Heetae barely spoke to him. Today, they had been filming since lunchtime, and it was the same. He would answer kindly and smile when spoken to, but that wasn’t enough. Sometimes, Sihyeon wished Seo Heetae would initiate conversations and have longer talks. But Seo Heetae never made the first move.fb71b445f4aa11e1

Though it had always been this way, it felt disappointing. Feelings are truly strange; they make you feel this way even if you don’t want to.d2b9d63384fd1bb9

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In the meantime, Sihyeon would occasionally send messages to Seo Heetae when they weren’t filming. Two days ago, he had asked, “Sunbae-nim, do you have any favorite movies?” He picked the topic deliberately, knowing Seo Heetae liked movies.564e9c1fa5e596ad

Seo Heetae briefly mentioned his favorite directors and their notable works, such as Haneke, Iñárritu, and Villeneuve. Sihyeon had heard those names from friends. He wanted to pretend to know more but wasn’t well-versed in movies. So, he just replied, “I like them too!” and added a cat emoji.dd20666181306bbe

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But Seo Heetae’s response was merely, “See you next time.” Sihyeon didn’t know if that meant at the set or to watch a movie. He pondered over it for too long and hastily replied, “Yes!” Finally, he concluded that “see you next time” probably meant at the set. No matter how he rationalized, that seemed the case.d60974cc5ed05d65

Worried about bothering him, Sihyeon sent another message around 20 hours later, “Sunbae-nim, looking forward to filming tomorrow!” Seo Heetae’s simple response was, “Yes. Same here.” He didn’t seem eager to continue the conversation, keeping a certain distance.f6918f9a7ef8f6d2

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Currently, their relationship 43dd9d1abc felt like an d5c0f58e20 average senior-junior one, a9e293266c and it was ab5d200d23 honestly disappointing. He had grown too 1b1811644e fond of Seo Heetae, ffc9494746 losing his initial perspective. Unlike before, he had 5145df8a99 come to wish for 4ccfdff55f more. He hoped they could c5ae2711f0 be closer senior-juniors and f6c2e2d9d2 hold hands once. His mind battled f392d49aef between not expecting faf99d3c33 anything and inevitably 99026a33dd wishing for more.526ea5830aada896

Maybe the transparent 20e6703ae7 trick he pulled 97e08901ed in the car 5e3380790f was too obvious. Director Jeong said you 19a3247380 had to be proactive a73ebf7668 to get close, but 8ffc6deaa1 going too far might 6065acd45e have backfired. He was 47f09540b1 unsure how 82894b52a4 much to 5da1b7681c push. In the end, 31fc3a7933 Sihyeon decided not 5bb86ba6d7 to message him. He might dislike having 29e7dbe3cd his time taken up.7846062ac145c840

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✦✦✦d80dfb3e6b1a86da

The current set 3e88fddb42 had decent welfare. There were c8a8f376b3 rarely overnight 1714c9c4bb shoots, and ea8d4152c7 meals and db9f1515a7 breaks were 2f1ba42352 provided generously. So while the staff acb77cfbf5 ate and set up, 4011c490ac the actors had a 6a4995c339 lot of free time. After an bd4b6f8d14 early simple e32a889ee1 dinner, Sihyeon bafee41dd1 seriously considered a355c5348d visiting Seo 2c71d89e18 Heetae’s waiting 4cd2738844 room. But he couldn’t think 0e901e118c of any excuse to 3a5e33c04c go. Maybe next time, 9f1e96b2ab he should bake c90072c56e some bread and 7f14a3ae77 bring it over? That wouldn’t 83b96a611e be too efd286f924 strange, and 8ce538e256 he might be7360c66c like the 983f58716e not-too-sweet, plain c2644df577 taste.d9a98be7175a1625

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At that moment, he b9214f917b heard that actor Joo a85bf33714 Yongjin, playing Congressman Kang, fde0941e27 had arrived and was 3a26a93645 calling for him. With no choice, 01ccdc24a1 Sihyeon went to cc256cc4d2 his waiting room. As a senior, f0a85b801c Joo Yongjin even 4e20d14177 brought him coffee, 68aa0d0dbb making it impossible afa12daf01 to refuse. Joo Yongjin, a veteran d08dc11b62 actor known for his 50cd612fb8 strong personality, was straightforward fb175acf2c and witty.839b579e41c3c268

He slowly c0d66ba996 made his 3eeb337073 way to 2de175b7c6 the waiting 953aeb6fe7 room and 8c4f35b9f2 knocked on c3c28918d1 the door. When he 87f40420e0 opened it 77670755fd and entered, 5a467df271 he saw af2e659a9e a familiar f43b524e8e side profile 58f0f359a5 having a d45c60a843 conversation with 35ebf79543 Joo Yongjin. Seo Heetae ad6a401594 was sitting 6f7c3fb400 opposite Joo 6eab540c7e Yongjin, with 4ace3ea399 his long c4080f08dd legs casually 6d9e4cb822 crossed. If only 35a0c21b0e he had 8756b2c900 walked a c9a859f189 bit faster, 375e1246f5 he thought, c11535514e slightly regretting f293ec2cd6 his pace.3fb5e19027a0ff34

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Sihyeon greeted them and 01812540df sat next to Seo 1967920079 Heetae, as if that ba2f514570 spot had always been 155e4a9699 his. Joo Yongjin 8fc5c1fc09 barely acknowledged 85978f050b him, engrossed f00961019a in his b2ebcee2b1 conversation with 79cca4db0e Seo Heetae. Seo Heetae e723876de8 gave a 6ee27d49c3 brief smile b822916ab0 but remained c8d34e6870 focused on 0c19348e6c the senior a84969a6c8 actor.9441f57710301431

“Juggling shooting and taking care of kids is killing me. They have endless energy.”82aff5afcba0d84f

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Joo Yongjin was 08cddb8831 lamenting, and Seo 107c6add1b Heetae, sipping his f7e7847bf1 coffee leisurely, replied,4a4077d5491e0341

“Really? I’d probably enjoy it. I like kids.”93e98f0ce59a1584

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“You have a romantic notion about marriage? How many kids do you want?”b6e3bcf868338974

“Not particularly, but… if my wife is okay with it, I’d like three. But I also love animals, so having two kids and a dog or cat sounds great.”957ed21347fc69e0

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He continued in his ab2563bd08 gentle tone,20cfc6dc69b87c1d

“I have two nieces, and they are absolutely adorable. I can’t get enough of them.”4446bfc648d7adbb

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“They’re lucky to have an uncle like you. Got any photos?”ded06acae467567c

“No, I don’t usually take pictures.”04f59041e1a5a91d

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“And Sihyeon? Do you like kids?”2f18accace376f15

Suddenly asked by 966c4acb6b Joo Yongjin, Sihyeon a69b9cdc33 responded calmly,d559999f43df9049

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“I like them too. My debut project was with a baby.”bc679b111622067e

Though he said this, in reality, he hadn’t seen that baby after the shoot. He neither particularly liked nor disliked babies or children. Honestly, young kids made him uncomfortable because he didn’t know how to interact with them.3a5f9bf189474ba8

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“How many kids would you like?”92a90979ce7fdd05

“I’m not sure.”996f43e70a2ab5d4

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With Sihyeon’s lukewarm answer, Joo Yongjin quickly lost interest. That was exactly what Sihyeon wanted. Responding this way made people less interested in him, a strategy he had developed to avoid revealing too much about himself.acd7d99eee39f63d

Soon, Joo Yongjin turned back to the man who naturally drew everyone’s attention.d7b9ef9d8e3a81ca

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“Heetae, I bet you’ll have no problem getting married. When do you plan to tie the knot?”6a37a4b2704d8fff

“Well, I don’t know. I’ll get married when I meet the right person.”f601aab5eeaaea0e

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“So, your standards are high. Still haven’t met anyone?”930731bf87a6688b

“No.”7fe17cac40d7d60f

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The topic naturally de814d0ab3 drew attention. Sihyeon was pleased c116d27829 that Seo Heetae 1b661991d4 had no firm 977f993a38 opinion on marriage, abb8778e89 which was perfect 14400b66fd for someone harboring 139a4bf94a a crush. His lips b7f9456a46 curled up ddb8b52ddb involuntarily.979609c934558c94

“But you must have a lot of women around you, right? I heard an interesting rumor.”a9ade46d7425c63e

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Suddenly, Joo Yongjin smirked. Curiosity piqued, Sihyeon widened 3333cd7aab his eyes and looked 9e9d479be7 at him.fb1dc363b8d682b0

“Heetae supposedly treats his partner like a princess in bed.”82a462ed22aa2e96

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“Oh.”0c94774c61aad767

Seo Heetae’s expression remained unchanged. But Sihyeon felt his face heat up at the comment, recalling the time they had spent together. Unconsciously, he bit his lip. Seo Heetae had been genuinely gentle back then, kissing and caressing him without being asked. Though it no longer happened… was that what “princess treatment” meant?ac8d67380d4c8b2f

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Sihyeon glanced at 55aeee34f5 Seo Heetae. His expression was 75790944e1 still relaxed.4797bb3e3068a489

“I just act with manners.”238308225077c2bc

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Seo Heetae smiled his characteristic smile. Even though he was only smiling, the atmosphere gradually grew heavy. With no one volunteering to speak, Joo Yongjin awkwardly laughed and watched for Seo Heetae’s reaction.f512d780b2825804

“Rumors are… tricky, right? Those stories spread around.”8660a78776b9989a

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“I’d be lying if I said I enjoyed hearing such things, but being a celebrity comes with rumors and scandals. Rumors are also a sign of popularity.”27370a227415b7af

Joo Yongjin seemed 835a55bd8d relieved by his 571c20a03e words and responded 6875fb382e with agreement. Then, out of nowhere, 43a9a73cba he turned to Sihyeon 5022053cb8 and asked,7df9408fd3eb0f8b

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“What about you, Sihyeon?”197fc1d4c4dc13bd

“Me?”5a4c370b1d003daf

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“You seem like you’d have great stamina. No? Young guys sometimes go three or four times in one go, right?”e8e478f442512baa

Questions like 6fe0378d8c this were 4520a8efb4 best handled 34ba85197e with a 6eca737ea4 laugh.a53b2b338cd362d0

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“Haha, I’m just average.”13c3271e00e8556c

Feeling Seo Heetae’s gaze from beside him, Sihyeon answered. Joo Yongjin seemed to enjoy such topics and kept prying, but Sihyeon had encountered many people like him, so he wasn’t bothered.07e7ee30836ad104

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“Sihyeon, you must have a lot of admirers. Isn’t that right? When was the last time?”3668049eb7edf973

“Uh, well…”c56e9a9da6338a78

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Just as he 567d1a2af6 was about to 36ca1d5041 evade the question, 99949bea98 Seo Heetae suddenly 40a23cc35f called out,712668fdb6013ab1

“Sihyeon, remember we need to discuss something with the director before shooting. Let’s go.”f8b63555def4c617

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With that, he stood up. Sihyeon quickly replied, “Yes,” and bowed to Joo Yongjin. Though he wasn’t sure what they needed to discuss, it had been so long since Seo Heetae had initiated conversation that he couldn’t help but smile.47d1be791d48519c

Walking with him, Sihyeon stared at his hand. He wanted to hold it, to touch those perfectly straight fingers. Lost in watching him, he hadn’t noticed they were walking in a direction unrelated to the director until it was too late.f6ccc8d517bdb413

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“We’re going to see the director, right?”4be9bf5f4ea630eb

Finally, Sihyeon asked.de402e9f5113e28c

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“No, we’re heading to the waiting room. Just come in.”886e4626f0c45396

“What?”2db808820ac51d2c

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“I just didn’t want to stay there, so don’t worry about it.”e83db00e6de85dda

Was Joo Yongjin’s comment uncomfortable? Sihyeon cautiously asked,a158ebdedb52d3cd

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“Did that rumor bother you?”99b364f0d3962138

“Not really, but…”9acde221a2f0a600

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He stopped and turned 182350c071 to look at Sihyeon. Sihyeon also halted abruptly. Being so close to cb5f6da388 him made him nervous.d80e05dc7df1b811

“Don’t worry about me. You should worry about yourself.”f9f2b816455a33c1

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“Oh, yes…”bf20bd644a30c2a7

“You’re twenty-seven this year, right?”81c088819dcdb9da

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“Yes.”66bab4730674aac1

Though he 25d661a5a1 was happy 7f950d4bea Seo Heetae 8b18ab61bb had initiated d30fafd977 conversation, his e8ee805fd7 serious expression a5380578d0 made him e0850067e8 uneasy.c9fcf2028c43399b

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“Have you completed your military service?”53a717b3be9a1d42

“Uh, no.”58c043e39188a0dd

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Wondering why he asked, 4d471a0ec2 Seo Heetae continued without bc96f27952 changing his expression,7b740a522f9e76bd

“At twenty-seven, you’re still young… but old enough to take care of yourself.”afb67648529a28b7

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He couldn’t decipher the emotions in Seo Heetae’s eyes. He was a complex and difficult person to understand.b8a27f955bfb8962

“Don’t laugh at such meaningless comments. As you heard earlier, idle gossip leads to unnecessary rumors.”220d6e7cc1ae4efd

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“…Yes.”3533e6bb228adf3b

Seo Heetae 50f29c34f0 glanced around 044e034efa before speaking b4fc8c345d in a 1d03daf565 low voice,7701fe160ca491d4

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“Rumors and scandals don’t affect me. But you maintain a mysterious image, right? You should be more cautious.”c018b65015661514

“I’m sorry.”b76f457494ecaaa3

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“You don’t need to apologize to me. And…”4a9acd17bc55d8ce

Seo Heetae paused, 78044bf882 looking slightly uncomfortable.56bf7d7d0b12c478

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“If your preference is that way, you need to be more careful. Am I the only one worried? You should be more cautious, Sihyeon. What if you make a mistake while talking about such things?”2ee94a8d86260053

“Oh… yes.”1bd0ad42ad60b860

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He understood what Seo Heetae meant. There was a hidden message: You’re the only one who likes men. It also sounded like he would never have feelings for Ryu Sihyeon.98c7ce759163360d

“I won’t mention this again. I’ll just focus on myself.”be20027d73a3db7b

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Sihyeon quietly nodded and looked up at Seo Heetae’s slightly sensitive expression. Leaning against the wall, Seo Heetae said,f1a45c946f9c23f3

“Come here.”38211546e4005af3

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Hesitantly, Sihyeon d5086776b7 approached him. Seo Heetae, b8c7c9a8b8 observing his 9b41f24261 movements, sighed 841a88d636 softly.ee32ff0e7a2ac9fc

“I don’t dislike you, Sihyeon. So, don’t make that face.”4cf2e49d506963ea

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What kind of expression did he have? Before he could wonder, Seo Heetae suddenly raised his hand toward Sihyeon’s head. Sihyeon flinched instinctively, an unavoidable reaction.688b4824943fb16f

“Oh, you had something on you.”6ff698f45bca90d5

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Embarrassed, Seo fef149e3e6 Heetae lowered 82669e597d his hand.b3d351f3b3623c4b

“Sorry, I must have startled you.”f2557bce33011987

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“You can touch me; it’s okay.”3b36f2df71de952c

Sihyeon quickly replied, 8967168163 but the distance 86a8014083 between them remained cdad31e689 unchanged.16523641ec363bc0

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“No, it’s fine.”2e73373b4f319480

It sounded d23ecc6b91 like Seo 9180c22d83 Heetae meant ceffef5f55 there would d69b0082c5 be no 1a0ba3eead physical contact 95bcdcf367 in the 1db3c0ec29 future. Hearing that bc6de63bcd he would 4031fa69a1 stop caring 193fd1f9a6 abruptly made a76b7b9821 it hard c237457931 to maintain d9ec8a7bf1 a smile. Seo Heetae bcacc32483 probably preferred 83224bff7e someone who aa302eb719 was self-sufficient 6bb236c78e and confident—definitely 7a2b6eb0bf not Ryu a63a9f0e0f Sihyeon. He had high ec76285679 standards and would 7231c66f6a likely meet someone 5762777b42 perfect, just like fe4eee7231 himself.6a5b9a89d71b5a94

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Should he change himself? But that wasn’t easy. If it were, he wouldn’t have lived this way for so long. He probably wouldn’t have become an actor. Then again, maybe it was because he was a man that it wasn’t going to work.fb8787e3035a05f0

His mood plummeted. All his methods for 0b23e87ece maintaining composure seemed futile d6e137ea9e in front of Seo e65163aacb Heetae. Still, Sihyeon forced a dace1765ff smile and spoke to ce08dd8316 him, wanting to maintain 02c2588fed a good atmosphere at 5f63df584f the very least.2ab4f603ad7efe8d

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“I’m sure you’ll meet a wonderful person, Sunbae-nim.”b7d2068b33043d3e

“Yes, I hope so.”4d7082528dd21471

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His response was surprisingly fde7fc8cc4 cynical. Though disheartened by the d5d45ad4b4 lukewarm reaction, Sihyeon continued f5130fdbf6 speaking.7da6861eed08777e

“So, you don’t have a significant other right now, do you?”7f0524626a79020b

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“Even if I did, I wouldn’t see them during filming. Relationships just cause hassles when balanced with work.”b03f8dd884c07c65

He then seemed 3f8fc44c74 lost in thought, 4e66091767 leaving his sentence 900301626e hanging. Sihyeon held 48a67f1577 his breath, ce3d2d0c97 waiting for 488ad722b3 him to f709b8bf2e speak again. Why was 7734ac0b20 he so 0fc87b8163 curious?7fe2c3a944e65e8f

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Suddenly, Seo 62a119ac90 Heetae turned fbf81178c8 to look 5989157e2b at him. The sudden eye contact 8ec2493fc2 made Sihyeon nervous, his e36a722c3e throat dry.4656471ca41bca51

“Marriage would be a bit inconvenient, though.”6820c990ecb2f8e5

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“Oh… marriage.”c974ef70fd5d9ab6

He had never imagined 8923def1d1 dating or anything, but 9332a113ce it felt like he cfdbe04232 was already rejected.7c6aa62cdc1b636d

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“Yes… that would be the case.”3d611ca649184f48

✦✦✦6559623758800970

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After that day’s shoot, the schedule changed dramatically. Writer Shin had significantly revised the script. Congressman Kang, who had conspired with the Jang siblings, faced exposure of his corruption due to the special investigation team led by Han Seyoung and Prosecutor Lee Joohwan. Initially, Congressman Kang intended to use Jang Yicheol’s connections to clear his charges. However, in the revised script, he turns to Jang Yijin instead.40063f4f098b52c5

As a result, 54eaefb435 all scenes involving d2f12c5ae4 Joo Yongjin and b8288c446c Sihyeon alone were 2ff2d2e2ab removed. That itself was 9b1b33d8f3 fine. But as he 239e53e4c3 read the revised 8284093bc0 script, he eagerly 10baf230ca looked for any 959c7df3a9 scenes involving Lee 545cae2a73 Joohwan and Jang d7ed7475b3 Yicheol. Unfortunately, there were no 845662fdb7 new additions, leaving him 43aee9f8b3 disappointed. He had d58db70fce to wait 298660a62e three more 6a2a47906f days to e2cd20b1d6 see Seo cce2fecadd Heetae again. He resisted the urge fbbfc59ced to contact him in dc43ad6eaa the meantime.fee25c6e19823650

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While waiting, he spent a lot of time on the internet. The book he had brought to read remained untouched. He frequently searched for Seo Heetae on portal sites, gathering trivial information about him. Seo Heetae’s birthday was February 26. On holidays, he enjoyed reading, watching movies, and attending performances. To relieve stress, he exercised or traveled. He liked the baseball team GT Phoenix and the volleyball team Taejeong Bio. Gathering such information was enjoyable. He read interview articles and found pictures of Seo Heetae at a similar age to himself. He looked impressive even back then.8a22b2972f2d6078

Sihyeon imagined d6b82c34ea facing Seo 0b1fed06e3 Heetae, who 1ded3b8399 was also d5c3649aee twenty-seven. Could they e23ad607ac have been 247ca9f212 friends? Would they be closer d69d6771fb if they were the b252e48a37 same age?c3ed1857fdf61d61

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Before bed, Sihyeon faeef1a18c imagined being friends cdd338dd6c with twenty-seven-year-old Seo b802788199 Heetae. They would drink wine 854f23f729 and watch movies together. He had never c594a41f53 realized he had 9f2a1e68a8 such a vivid f5930256a7 imagination. It felt like discovering b7d607ecf0 new possibilities in life e4bf2a5e2b and a new side d5e74aff93 of himself.d19cca09e5878535

His imagination even 4514a67b64 entered his dreams. In his dream, Sihyeon 5911c76701 drank wine at home 1626d58e6d with his friend Seo 32df4e6681 Heetae. He called 1dcfa4a4ae him Heetae 29b063ee57 and handed 9397bdba72 him cupcakes ef8a1b5d22 he had fc31293d41 baked in 88b7d52076 the morning. He ate 4de7c28814 the chocolate 1c7630366d ones himself 4fced78ae1 and gave bc3b2e5a7e the walnut 18b18f62ee ones to 0c90ac9c0b Seo Heetae. Then, they sat on d66605b83a the sofa watching a dddbb37e34 movie about a female 244cdf73c5 boxer and her coach.8f4ba29c86dda0f3

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Sihyeon pondered. Did friends’ hearts race like this when they sat together? As he tried to focus on the movie, he felt oddly nervous, resisting the urge to look at his companion.605d71b9fa0dd3aa

The movie’s protagonist was paralyzed in a match and lay in bed, asking her coach,c4d37bac65a20fee

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“Don’t leave me lying here.”3ebb49d00e7af2b3

Strangely, he bbc6c8bf51 felt he 10ed68fa6d had seen 4d0208ead4 the movie 2ac614a759 before. What happened next?72cd643c9a3082b5

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At that moment, 4733b9cac1 he felt warmth 40a8619249 as Seo Heetae c70369f686 grabbed his hand.d59eb97a72efd59a

“Sihyeon.”8d366c02ebe66897

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Seo Heetae called out e036fb84b4 to him. He stared b04ab901cd blankly at 730f19bbb6 him, taking ddc2657aaf in his c8eb455e60 thick eyebrows, 691f524b8f straight forehead, 67ae033802 warm brown b8f51931eb eyes, and 19e17a2464 smiling lips. When it all 66959609d7 came into focus, cb60a1aae9 Seo Heetae gripped 5086d6b5f9 his hand tightly, 5b6d0b6df7 leaning closer. He never found c32e02d1d4 out what happened 08e611ae4e in the movie. Before he knew f8857f5d64 it, they were 0441ede6f1 engrossed in a 13b43e048a kiss.fb6e052b145b4801

When he 3ac5a3931f opened his e048d85245 eyes, it 5006722ee1 was reality.f483cddba007fe6c

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For the first time, he realized dreams could be sweeter than reality. In reality, he wouldn’t watch movies or kiss Seo Heetae. Seo Heetae had already drawn the line. He would never call him “Sihyeon.” Such things had never happened and never would. It was a clear signal from Seo Heetae that there was an absolute boundary he wouldn’t cross.e798dfc4b37a5dba

He had to like Seo Heetae within that boundary. If possible, he wanted to give up, but the feelings didn’t fade. Maybe they would disappear someday, just like the emotions felt while acting in a finished project. With that thought, he closed his eyes again.32539ec33bfe3630

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The next morning, Sihyeon logged onto the portal site from the waiting room. While reading the latest news articles about Seo Heetae, his brother suspiciously asked, “Sihyeon, are you dating? Why do you keep looking at your phone?” Though innocent, he felt bitter about his innocence. It was a truly strange experience.fc1a385c49ed1a41

Thoroughly searching past articles often revealed unwanted information. He stumbled upon scandal articles about Seo Heetae and Yeo Juhee. Sihyeon intentionally read articles denying the dating rumors, word by word. They described the two as “good fellow actors.” There were many comments, with the top-rated one saying,7630d6355cc910f1

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“They’re definitely not dating. I work at TCE in Apgujeong, and he watches late-night movies once a month with the same woman. But she’s not Yeo Juhee, probably an aspiring actress.”8af9866ee49382f4

He was so shocked b17d714010 that he momentarily forgot 4373ac24ed how to breathe. Was it true? If so, who was 33e65a7c0e the woman? Why did 588981444b Seo Heetae 503ff9aaa1 have so 986c9e0741 many people d71569202c around him? Was he a 120163a095 player? His thoughts spiraled. Realizing he 93cef886ed was overthinking, 73525c7639 he noted e92614f657 that overthinking 7ad3ce42aa led to 20f43713ea negative emotions.87dbe1210818768c

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He analyzed his feelings like studying a character. Why had he become so obsessive? He probably wanted to monopolize Seo Heetae. He wished to get closer and spend more time together. Feeling disappointed, he couldn’t.5847e02763dd241d